heroes of the dark
by ohmytheon
Summary: Uraraka has spent almost a year grieving the loss of Deku, the greatest hero and her love, but life is slowly moving on. She's got her job, her family, and even a strange friendship with Bakugou. Things are looking hopeful. Until Deku comes back and he's not what he seems. Something is wrong with his mind, but Uraraka will be damned if she lets him fall again. (Villain!Deku)
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes:** When I first saw Villain!Deku stuff, I thought, no way, not my precious boy. Because he is a hero through and through! But damn if the fanart didn't suck me in. However, when I went scrambling for fanfiction, as one does, I found that nearly every single one lacked something: my girl Ochako Uraraka. I desperately wanted a villain!Deku fanfic that had Uraraka as a main character/protagonist, but found maybe one or two tops. Sometimes, in order to read exactly what you want, and so I did despite having that insane BNHA/FMA fanfic already underway. Deku will always be a hero in my heart and I think the heart of this story - however the hell it ends up - will be about bringing him back to where he belongs.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing. I'm just here to break my own heart.

* * *

" _Love is willing to become to villain so that the one who you love can stay a hero."_  
 **―** **Josephine Angelini,** **Firewalker**

* * *

Uraraka woke up falling.

Or at least it was the sensation of falling.

She jerked awake in her large bed, her legs and arms flailing as she was snatched out of the nightmare. For a brief moment, she was tangled in a sea of blankets and sheets and felt as if she'd actually fallen into the choppy water, but then a cool breeze and the sounds of the city blew in from her open window and she went still. She took a moment to stare at the ceiling before she slid her hands over her face and took a deep breath. By the time she pulled her hands away and opened her eyes, her heart had stopped pounding in her chest.

It had been almost a month since she'd last had the dream. Why had it come back out of the blue? She had thought that it might finally leave her alone, but no, it had come back to her last night in an unforgiving way. Even now, it clung to her desperately, hanging in the corner of her mind, as if afraid that she might forget it completely.

She had to get up. She had to get out of bed. She had to get on with her day.

Like she did every morning that she had off, Uraraka took a long, hot shower first. She took her time with her hair and with washing herself, like she could scrub away anything with a loofah. After that, she made herself breakfast in her small but cozy kitchen while the radio played in the background. She walked around her apartment aimlessly in a pink bathrobe and worn through slippers drinking a cup of coffee. It was only when she caught sight of her calendar that she came to a halt.

Oh. It was his birthday today.

As if on cue, the phone rang, forcing Uraraka to look away. She knew that she should answer it, but she also knew what it would be about, even if she didn't know who exactly was on the other end. She waited until the answering machine picked it up, her single voice telling the caller to leave a message, and then listened as Tsu's voice left a voicemail.

" _Hey, Ochako, I was calling to see if you wanted to have lunch,"_ her best friend said on the other end. " _No sense in lying. You shouldn't have to be alone today. Call me back, please, or I'll try again later."_

That was Tsu for you - straight and to the point. She always said what was on her mind, even if it made other people uncomfortable. Uraraka didn't mind. She knew that Tsu wouldn't be the only one calling today, but she would be one of the very few who would be open about why. There was no sense in lying. It didn't matter what any of her friends said; she'd know what they were up to. It was sweet of them, truly, but she couldn't let herself get wrapped up in this today.

More than anything, she was desperate for it to be normal. Deep down she knew that her attempts to make it so during the day would only make it worse for her come tonight and she'd probably be calling Tsu babbling through tears, but Uraraka wanted to at least pretend like she was strong enough to handle this on her own. Even if she also knew that she didn't have to.

Besides, weren't they suffering too? Weren't they sad as well? She should tend to their grief. She was being selfish.

Later, she'd call back Tsu later, but for now, Uraraka went about the rest of her morning routine. She took a walk around the quiet neighborhood she'd moved to two years ago. It wasn't much, but it was very nice in her opinion and it was low in crime, almost as if any villains actively stayed out of the area. She ran errands, going to the bank and the farmer's market and the like, smiling at neighbors and making friendly smalltalk with the vendors. The sun was out and everyone seemed so happy.

However, when she came home to a silent and empty apartment, no amount of natural light could lift the dark cloud that had been brewing in her mind. She dropped the bags and sunk down into a crouch with her back to her front door and covered her face once more as if to shield herself.

The phone rang again - had probably been ringing while she was out since her cell was turned off - and Uraraka once again waited for the voice of one of her close friends. Maybe it would be Iida this time or Momo. Maybe it would be Hatsumi or even Todoroki.

It was none of them. Instead, of all people, it was Bakugou.

" _Hey, Round Face, you better be decent because I'm gonna be over there in like three minutes,"_ Bakugou's voice said with all the delicacy of a wrecking ball. " _We're going day drinking."_

There was no preamble. No "are you doing okay" or "do you need some company" or "it'll be alright". It was just plain old Bakugou blowing his way in. He'd never changed in that respect. When it came to any defensive walls that she might have put up around everyone else, he just blew them up and stepped right over them, like they weren't even there for a reason, like they didn't matter to him.

Uraraka could be mad - probably should be mad - but it felt nice to not be treated like glass.

A few minutes later, just as he had said, the doorknob rattled and swung open. Having cleaned herself up, Uraraka was busy putting the items from her errand away in the pantry, but that still didn't stop her from gawking in confusion as Bakugou stepped inside her place and kicked the door shut behind him.

"Excuse me," she greeted, "but I don't remember giving you a key."

"You didn't," Bakugou simply told her, like that was all she needed to know. Uh, definitely not. Him having a key to her place was a new development as far as she was concerned. He rolled his eyes. "I made a second copy of it like ten months ago." Ah, during the dark days when everyone had acted as if they couldn't leave her alone for more than a day. None of the others had stolen her keys to make a copy. "Never used it before though. Stupid thing acted like it didn't want to work at first."

A part of her wanted to hold out her hand and tell him to hand it over. Another part of her realized that it would be futile and she wasn't sure if he didn't have a backup just in case she did demand it. Not that it mattered in the end. He could do whatever he wanted. It wasn't like he came over all the time or something.

"That what you're wearing?" Bakugou asked as he sat down on one of the stools that were placed behind the counter that separated the kitchen from the living room. She had thought it cute when first looking for apartments. It was where someone could sit down and still chat and see whoever was in the kitchen.

Uraraka looked down at her outfit, black leggings with a baggy, faded red sweatshirt/dress that hung over her shoulders, and a black sports bra showing. It was a lazy outfit to match her slow-going day. She gave Bakugou a shrewd look. "Yes, what's wrong with it?"

"Nothing," Bakugou replied with a grunt, but he was still eyeing her strangely.

"Do you want me to change?"

Bakugou waved a dismissive hand. "No, I don't give a shit what you wear." Then why the hell had he commented on it? Sometimes, he had a way of drawing attention to the smallest details, somehow making her feel insecure even when he genuinely didn't seem to mean to. She liked this outfit and she was going to wear it. After all, they were just going to do some day drinking, not some fancy restaurant. "You done?"

"Yeah." Uraraka turned around to face him. "So where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

Uraraka huffed. "So the same place as usual. Got it."

The fact that she hadn't fought this at all was either a testament to how tired she was or proof that she didn't really want to be alone. It wasn't the first time she and Bakugou had done something like this, but it wasn't like it was a regular thing. He was off doing his own hero thing and she was doing hers. They had different lives and even lived in different cities, although he wasn't that far away.

It occurred to her to realize that they never crossed each other's paths accidentally anymore - that every interaction between them was intentional and mostly on his behalf - but he was still a normal part of her life. They didn't call each other daily and sometimes she didn't hear from him for a week, but then he'd shoot her a text or she'd email him an article or they just found themselves at lunch and that was that. It wasn't an easy friendship - it never was with Bakugou - but it was...something consistent.

The fact that Bakugou never truly changed made her feel good, even if he was different than he had been at school. She wouldn't quite say that he was soft, but he wasn't as sharp around the edges anymore. He could definitely still be cutting when he wanted to be and she didn't doubt his temper for a second, but he'd learned how not to blow up at the drop of a hat.

They walked a mile down the street to a bar that was reasonably nice. It had a good outdoor sitting area and a surprisingly nice selection of craft beers and variety of whiskeys. They even had better than average food. She had found the place shortly after moving here when exploring the area. According to Bakugou, it was the only good place around her neighborhood. If they had lunch or dinner, it was either by his place or further into the city.

It was a nice day, so they got an outdoor table and Bakugou immediately ordered for them, "We need two orders of gyozo and your most expensive bottle of sake. Scratch that. Make it two as well."

"Bakugou!" Uraraka gasped.

"What?" Bakugou scoffed at her as the server scurried away. "I'm not drinking shit sake."

Uraraka's cheeks turned a little pinker. "But...it's…"

"It's what? I make a boat load of money. This is nothing." Bakugou was, as usual, not modest, but he wasn't outright bragging either. It was what it was. As one of the top pro heroes, he did make great money. She admittedly made good money as well, enough to support herself happily and give her parents a comfortable life, but old habits would always die hard.

It didn't escape her that his words implied that he was paying for all this. He wasn't going to say that outright either, but if she so much as moved to pull out her wallet, he'd snap at her. This was him being...nice. Helpful. A friend. She took it, knowing that, even though he wouldn't admit it, today was almost as big of a deal for him as it was for her. Maybe just as big. He wouldn't tell her the exact truth and she wouldn't force it out of him.

When their alcohol arrived, along with two waters, Bakugou shoved one sake bottle over to her side of the table and then opened his to pour himself a cup. His courtesy extended as far as paying and nothing more, but it only made her smile. "What are you even doing here, Bakugou?" she asked, the smile still on her face.

"I'm drinking," Bakugou replied almost childishly. When Uraraka set the bottle down and gave him a look, he huffed out a sigh. "You know why."

"I can take care of myself."

"I know that," Bakugou huffed again. He pointed a finger at her. "But here's what's gonna happen anyway: we're gonna avoid talking about him; we're gonna get drunk and then we're gonna talk about him; you're gonna cry yourself out; I'm gonna make you laugh, carry your drunk ass home, and put you to bed; and then you're gonna thank me and go the fuck to sleep."

It wasn't funny in the slightest. This was a serious matter that was going to end with her in tears. She didn't like admitting that though and hearing it said to her out loud made her hackles raise. "Do you think I'm that weak that I'll just cry all over you?"

"I'm not underestimating your strength, Uraraka," Bakugou told her bluntly, his use of her name telling her how serious he was. She didn't think he would ever use her first name. She'd probably have a heart attack if he did. "You're basically the strongest person I know. Anyone else would've fallen apart and crashed, but not you." The appetizers arrived and Bakugou picked up his chopsticks, pointing them at her accusingly. "Now you better eat because I'm ordering a stupid amount of food."

Just like that, they switched gears. It was easy to do with Bakugou, who could drive a conversation like he would a sports car, completely in control and at a breakneck speed. He delved easily into his most recent hero activity, going from a huge villain takedown that she had seen in the news but just had to hear straight from the source to his most recent complaint about one of the sidekicks he seemed to loathe but kept around just so he could complain about the guy.

Bakugou was the kind of guy that could talk about himself a lot - and you were somehow happy for it, because it was entertaining and you didn't want to talk about yourself. And right now, Uraraka didn't want to talk. She wanted the blissful ignorance that came with just listening to someone who could make the world spin around them. She liked his stories, always peppered with colorful language and vivid imagery. It immersed her in his world and swept her away from everything else.

They were each on their second bottle of sake and had ordered some more appetizers and Uraraka hadn't even blinked. She'd sat there raptured, laughing at inappropriate moments that had him griping at her and throwing in teasing comments that made him smirk. It was an easy flow. She always forgot that until they were right here in these moments. That it could be easy. That she could breathe. Even with him.

"I saw on the news what you did last week," Bakugou told her abruptly. His cheeks were pinker than he would ever admit, the sake finally taking its toll on him. She knew that she was worse. It was getting closer to the evening now. They'd been here for so long that the sun was starting its slow descent behind the city skyline. The orange haze made Bakugou glow like fire, his sandy hair and red eyes sticking out even more than usual.

Uraraka smiled shyly into her glass of water. "It wasn't much."

"It was fucking cool is what it was," Bakugou corrected. "You saved ten people from a burning building and then helped catch the bastard that started it? Fucking cool."

Deep down, Uraraka knew that she had done a good job and after consuming a terrible amount of alcohol, even over the span of quite a few hours, she could admit that she was proud of herself. But it was hard to do that when the one person that mattered the most - the one save that she needed to do - had slipped right from her fingertips. Not literally, of course. She hadn't been able to touch him at all, missing him by mere inches. She could still feel the swish of empty air when she'd desperately reached out for him.

She had to save those people. She had to save everyone. She had to make up for who she hadn't. And she hadn't. She hadn't saved him. She'd missed him and she'd fallen out of the sky to catch him and she'd still- she'd still-

Oh, it was happening. Just as Bakugou had told her it would.

Despite being knee deep in drinking, Bakugou spotted it as well, the sudden shift in her demeanor that told him it was finally time. Her eyes dropped to her hands in her lap and he set his cup back on the table and leaned back in his seat. She suddenly wished that she hadn't drank so much. She didn't want to talk about it like this - she knew that she wouldn't be able to control herself - and yet she also knew that she wouldn't have talked about it at all if she hadn't been in this state.

Uraraka could go weeks without talking to anyone about it until some reporter asked her how Uravity was faring after her devastating loss of Deku.

"I know it's been almost a year," Uraraka finally said, her voice so damn small, "but I still miss him." Bakugou didn't say anything for once. This was her time to talk. This whole thing was her time to talk, but he'd filled up the space until she was ready. "I still… It doesn't happen nearly as often anymore, but I still sometimes forget that he's gone. I'll come home, expecting to smell take out and a hint of smoke from where he attempted to cook a fancy meal and failed, or I'll roll over, half awake, and reach out for him - and there's just nothing. He's not there. It's like he was never there to begin with."

Any of her other friends would've reached out to hold her hand, switch to the seat next to her, get up and wrap their arms around her shoulders. Bakugou didn't do any of those things. He just stayed in his seat, watching her, and stayed silent, listening. His face was remarkably passive considering who he was, his eyes unreadable. Most of their friends didn't think Bakugou was capable of patient listening, but she knew better. She knew that there was a quiet before the worst of storms and this one was hers.

"He was this...huge part of my life and not just because we were…" Uraraka rubbed her eyes. "And when he was gone, he was just gone. I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye. He didn't let me."

After almost eleven months, she didn't know whether to be angry or upset anymore it. He'd done what he did because he was a hero. It was who he was. He'd saved her life because she couldn't save his and in his eyes, if his fate was sealed in order to save hers, then that was that. There was no other option. He had been ready to die to save someone else.

But it wasn't fair because he was so more important than her. His place in the world was more than hers could ever be. The ten people she'd saved from an arsonist was nothing compared to the hundred he'd saved during an earthquake. She would never be the hero he could be and yet he'd still sacrificed himself to ensure she would live.

"And I'm just expected to move on with my life," Uraraka said, tears slipping down her face. Just as Bakugou had said, she was going to cry in public. How humiliating. "Did you see that article online the other day?"

"Oh, the one about whether or not you were dating that pro hero… Kaima Wood?" Bakugou wrinkled his nose in distaste. "A bit old for you, isn't he?" It was a brief attempt to lighten the mood and Uraraka made to laugh but then she started to cry instead, so all in all, a bit of a fail. She appreciated it though. "Fuck what they have to say. No one expects you to do anything except live. Take all the time you need. Never date again. Who gives a fuck?"

"That's easy for you to say," Uraraka mumbled. "You apparently have a new lay every week."

Bakugou rolled his eyes. "That's fucking stupid." He smirked at her. "It's every other week."

That half laugh/half cry slipped out of her again. She couldn't react any other way. Bakugou didn't snap at her for it, but he didn't pity her either. There was no "poor little Uraraka lost her boyfriend" coming from him. It was understanding that there were some chasms that couldn't be filled; sometimes they had to be climbed.

"He was supposed to be the greatest hero there ever was," Uraraka whispered. It was a testament to how much he had grown that Bakugou didn't respond to that statement at all. "And I couldn't save him. I couldn't do anything."

"Bullshit," Bakugou snapped, not meanly. "You nearly died trying to save him. You literally plummeted in a free fall in an attempt to reach him again. The only reason you didn't kill yourself trying to save him was because he had the foresight to see how blind you were to yourself." They'd gone over this before, but they needed to again, one more time. She knew he was right. She knew she was being irrational. But she needed to hear it said once more. "If it's anyone's fault, it's mine for not aiming right. I couldn't get you to where you needed to be to reach him in time."

A spike of panic flashed through Uraraka, a painful tug on her heart. He had never said anything like that before, only that it wasn't her fault. "Bakugou, you did your very best. You did everything you could."

Bakugou tipped his head back and closed his eyes. "Did I though? I keep asking myself if I could've done more. Maybe if I'd gone out there with you, maybe if I'd been able more damage to that damn villain so that Deku wouldn't have had to use everything he had against him mid-air over a fucking ocean." He sighed and leaned forward, looking terribly uncomfortable at having opened up. "All I could do in the end was make sure that you didn't go under too. That's what he wanted. I knew it the second he used the last bit of his strength to push you away from the water right before he hit it."

That was the nightmare though, wasn't it? That they had done everything they possibly could've done to save him and they had still failed. What kind of heroes did that make them?

The moment Deku had leapt from the cliff, the blast off so strong that it had knocked them all back, Uraraka had known that nothing was going to be the same. It was either stop the villain now or let the city explode. They'd watched from their pathetic spots on the ground, covered in blood, sweat, and mud, as Deku collided fist first like a rocket into the villain and exploded with a power that none of them would ever be able to grasp. There had only been a moment of cheer and relief before they had realized that Deku was falling towards the ocean and falling fast.

He was always falling in her dreams and, just as she hadn't that night, she could never reach him then.

"I keep thinking that one day I'll wake up and it'll just be normal that I'm by myself." Uraraka bit her lip. "One day I'll be able to put on my suit and not question myself about whether I'm worthy enough."

Bakugou bolted forward in his seat so fast that he bumped into the table, the empty sake bottles and their glasses clinking as they trembled in the wake of his anger. "Don't you ever fucking question yourself like that, okay? You're an incredible hero. Deku knew that. You could tell that by the way he looked at you like you were the fucking moon and stars." When she didn't look totally convinced, he clenched his hands into fists on top of the table. "You had your whole world turned upside down and most people would have shattered. Two weeks after, you went back to work, back to saving lives, back to kicking ass. I'm still pissed at you for that. You needed way more time."

"I couldn't sit around and do nothing!" Uraraka told him hotly, tears flooding her eyes again. "I couldn't just stand there and act like the world had stopped turning, even if it felt like it had for me. That's not the kind of hero Deku was and I wasn't going to let it be me. There were still people that needed to be saved, needed to be helped, and I promised myself that I would do that for him. That I'd do it for me - to prove that I was worth it."

There was a shadow over Bakugou's face, one that she couldn't quite place, as he said in an uncharastically quiet voice, "You've always been worth it. He knew that right from the start." The words were spoken with no less aggression than usual despite how quiet he was.

But they were just the right things to say. Uraraka could feel the walls bursting inside of her, punctured by such a simple statement. She curled her legs up in the chair so she could wrap her arms around them and press her face into her knees. Tears spilled out of her eyes and he let her cry. She didn't care if there were people around them. She didn't care if anyone she knew saw her. She didn't care if the paparazzi showed up and snapped pictures of her weeping and made some ridiculous tabloid (although she was certain Bakugou would blow a gasket and physically haul them away). She just let the tears come until they stopped.

Eventually they did. As all things did, her tears came to an end. When it happened, she took a deep breath and lifted her face, the cool breeze of the evening chilling the tears on her face.

Bakugou took one look at her and screwed up his face. "You look like your face is melting."

"It's my makeup, you idiot," Uraraka told him.

"Next time be prepared for emotional shit and wear waterproof makeup."

Despite everything - the pain, the absence, and the longing for something far gone - Uraraka felt a little lighter. She also felt the beginnings of a headache, but that was usually what happened after drinking and a heavy cry spell. Bakugou pushed a water towards her and she accepted it gratefully. "You're shit at comforting, you know."

"Good thing I'm just here to drink," Bakugou responded. "Now go clean your face before people start to think that I broke up with you or something."

Uraraka thought to comment on him not caring about what people thought, but agreed that she did probably look like shit. Besides, a splash of water against her face would help her feel fresher. She hurried to the bathroom so she could fix herself up, fishing out her phone in the process. The amount of missed calls and unanswered text messages made her cringe, but truth be told, she'd forgotten all about it while they'd been talking. The first and only person she responded to was Tsu, who she knew would spread the word for her.

 **Ochako**  
Sorry I haven't answered any of your calls. I'm fine.

 **Tsu**  
Are you sure? You haven't answered anyone. We've been worried.

 **Ochako**  
Again sorry. I've been busy. Had my phone turned off.

 **Tsu**  
Busy?

 **Ochako**  
Been with Bakugou for most of the day.

 **Tsu**  
Explains why he never answered our texts. We just thought he was being an ass.

That made Uraraka giggle a little, though it brought a few tears to her eyes as well. Everyone was handling this their own way. She should've talked to everyone earlier, but it had just felt so daunting. The idea of telling all her friends that she was fine, it was hard but she would make it, no she didn't need them to come over - it had been overwhelming. And then Bakugou had blown in and just swept her away from all of it like it was nothing and he didn't care what everyone else thought they should do for her.

Still, she felt guilty for ignoring them. Her friends were hurting too. Deku's...death hadn't affected only her. It would be a day late, but she would talk to them tomorrow. Maybe it was the alcohol flooding her veins, giving her a false sense of confidence, but she felt like tomorrow was going to be a new day. Like she was going to wake up and know in her heart that, no, things would never be the same again and she would always miss Deku and love him too, but she would be the hero he knew she was and she would smile for real when she thought back to him.

When Uraraka returned to the table, Bakugou was pouring the last bit of their sake into her cup. "Oh, no, no, I can't." He raised an eyebrow and pushed the glass towards her. "I can't!" She laughed a little. "Did you see how I was walking over here?"

"Yeah, not wobbly enough," Bakugou countered, putting all the pressure on her. She concentrated on the cup, picked it up, and then drank it. Granted, it wasn't much, but it was enough to make her feel woozy. He grinned at her, all teeth and vicious, and then stretched back in his seat like a cat, his t-shirt raising up to expose skin. "That's much better."

Uraraka eyed him and put her hands on her hips, which might have been a little intimidating if she wasn't swaying a little on the spot. "Trying to get me drunk to take advantage of me?"

Bakugou stood up slowly, as if he had nowhere else he'd rather be than right in her space, and said, "Who says I need to get you drunk first?" in such an outrageously suggestive low tone that Uraraka burst out laughing.

The alcohol made it so much worse. She felt like she was shooting from one emotion to the other, but this one she embraced. It felt good to laugh. It had felt good to cry in all honesty. She'd been hiding from it all day, but now that she'd done it and it was out in the open, she felt relieved. She barely caught sight of the checkbook on the table, already taken care of, before Bakugou all but pushed her out of the bar so she wouldn't try to sneak a peek at the damage. He knew her too well.

Unfortunately, he had also known that that last bit of sake would do her in. The walk home would've been painful if not for the cool breeze that brushed against her. They did it in silence, him with his hands in his pockets and her with her hands clutching the strap of her purse. More than likely it was because both of them needed to focus on walking without looking like a couple of drunk idiots, which they probably did anyways. Bakugou was doing a pretty good imitation at not being drunk, but his steps were sluggish and his eyes kept sweeping over to her like he was making sure she was still standing.

By the time they reached the steps of her apartment, Uraraka found herself groaning and slumping against him. Her eyelids were so heavy and she was so tired. Her mind screamed at her to just drift off where she stood. She didn't want to walk up the stairs. She was only on the second floor, but it seemed so far away. Maybe she could get away with sleeping in her car. That seemed like a reasonable idea right now.

"I knew this would happen," Bakugou sighed, even though it was his fault for getting her this drunk in the first place. She turned to tell him that when he bent down and slid his arms underneath her, picking her up like she was nothing and holding her bridal style in his arms. Uraraka let out a tiny squeak. "I told you that I was gonna have to carry your drunk ass home."

The first two steps he took were far too wobbly and she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her face into his shoulder, almost certain that they were going to fall, but then he tightened his grip on her, tensed up his body, and made quick work of the rest, powering through it by sheer will. At her door, he once again used his copy of her key to let them in and kicked the door shut.

Once inside, she thought he'd let her down, which seemed like a terrible idea since her legs were jello and she felt out of it from hanging in the air, but he didn't. He gripped her just a little tighter as if to let her know that he wasn't done and, just a tad bit drunk, she didn't fight it. Instead, he slowly made his way through her dark apartment until he reached her bedroom and carefully laid her down on her bed. It was far too gentle for someone as chaotic as him, but maybe it was the alcohol, dulling his emotions for once.

As Bakugou grumbled about her always leaving her damn window open for any old villain to crawl through and closed it for her, Uraraka opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling, suddenly remembering how she had done the same thing this morning after waking up from the nightmare about Deku's fall and her twice failure to touch him in time. "I had the dream again last night."

A breath of air escaped from Bakugou as he returned to her bedside. "Do you want me to call Tsuyu or…?"

She shook her head. "No, I'll be fine, just…"

"I'll stay," Bakugou said in a decisive tone. "On the couch, I mean. Can't really drive right now anyways."

They looked at each other for a beat too long. Uraraka knew it was too long and Bakugou surely didn't look at anyone that long, but alcohol had a funny way of making barriers seem nonexistent. The urge to reach out and squeeze his hand hanging at his side was so sudden that she didn't even think about not doing it. She felt him tense up at first when she did so, but then he loosened up and squeezed back before she pulled her hand away.

Uraraka raised an eyebrow at him and he gave her a questioning look. "Are you just going to stand there? I'm not sleeping in this." Bakugou narrowed his eyes at her for a second, a sharp quip on his tongue, before he decided against it and walked towards the door. "Hey, Bakugou." He stopped to glance back at her and she gave him a tired smile, the moonlight from her window casting a faint glow on her. "Thank you."

"Whatever, Angel face," Bakugou dismissed, though she saw the pleased look on his face. She didn't bother telling him where the blankets and pillows were for him to use. He knew where they were. Having done this a few times before, usually when Bakugou was in a foul mood and needed someone to vent to that wasn't Kirishima, he was at least a little familiar with her couch.

She took a deep breath as she sat up in bed. Round Face. Angel Face. Bakugou was always full of nicknames for everyone that he came in contact with. Back at U.A., it had been because he'd never bothered learning names and then it just stuck for him, if not anyone else. He called (most of) their former classmates by their names now, but still fell back on his tried and true nicknames for them.

A deep wave of sadness swept over her again for a brief moment. It had been almost a year since he'd been called Kacchan. She wondered if he missed it, but knew better than to ask. As far as he was concerned probably, the name had died along with Deku.

After changing into shorts and a t-shirt, Uraraka fell back in bed and crashed quickly, as if she'd lost all strength to fight the battle against the alcohol. Hopefully the amount of food and water she'd consumed would prevent any sort of hangover, but only the morning would tell. Luckily, the alcohol had the effect of dampening any dreams she might've had, so that by the time she woke up, there was nothing to remember except Bakugou's words and that last look she'd seen on his face. She considered it a blessing that there was only a faint thumping in her head that would go away in an hour or so.

Uraraka took her time getting up. She stretched in bed and yawned before snuggling up with her covers a little more and simply listening to the birds chirping and the morning traffic spilling in from her open window. When she finally got out of bed, she noticed just how quiet her apartment was. The last time Bakugou had crashed on her couch, she'd thought his snores were going to wake the dead, not that he'd ever cop to snoring.

Peeking outside of her bedroom, Uraraka found it empty, though he'd charmingly left the pillows and blankets bunched up on her couch. Such a gentleman. She shook her head and went to the bathroom to start her morning routine. She really needed to go to the gym today. Then she'd start her round of apologies for going off the grid yesterday and ignoring everyone else's pain.

For just a little bit longer, she wanted to stand in this strange morning bliss. It was like a small weight was off her shoulders. Not all of it, but just enough where she could stand up straight again.

After finishing in the bathroom, Uraraka padded into the kitchen to make breakfast, only to find a bowl already made next to a note in Bakugou's writing that said, _Eat this!_ So he could cook breakfast but not fold up blankets? That man was full of surprises. He probably got up at the crack of dawn regardless of how much he drank or fought the night before. No rest for the wicked or those wanting to be at the top.

Smiling to herself, she took the food and went back into her bedroom to pack all her stuff for the gym. She hummed under her breath as she did so, feeling better with every bite and passing second. It was going to be a good day. She was going to do some wonderful things. She was going to live her life. That was what Deku would have wanted. Not just to push herself as a hero, but also as a person. He had been so thoughtful.

Uraraka was still humming pleasantly when she walked back into the kitchen to clean out her dish when a voice abruptly shattered everything.

"Good morning, Ochako."

Instead of falling to the ground, the bowl floated up to the ceiling the second Uraraka let go of it to form fists and spun around. Her heart had leapt into her throat because for a half a second she'd opened her mouth to say a name that she'd spent months unable to speak, but no it couldn't be. This was just a setback, like when she woke up sometimes and forgot he wasn't in bed next to her or how she'd leave the shop down the street and think she saw a flash of his green hair moving around the corner.

But then she turned around completely and her hands flew to her mouth and her heart dropped into her stomach. Uraraka barely managed to whimper, but the name tumbled out of her mouth. "Deku?"

There he was, Deku, her Deku, like he'd never been gone. Sitting in the chair that they'd bought at a flea market and he'd refurbished for her just because he thought it would make her smile. It was undeniably him, alive and well and in her living room. His unmanageable green hair. His vibrant green eyes. The freckles that never left his face even as his body grew taller and stronger. Out of all things, he was wearing a black suit and matching vest and his tie - her lips trembled at the sight - his tie was still done far too short. She would've burst into tears had she not been so stunned.

However, when Deku smiled at her, a cold chill ran down her spine and the thought _run away_ came to her mind when she had only ever _run to_ him before. And she knew. She knew there was something wrong with that smile, something not quite right, but then none of this was right. "I missed you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes:** I'm just so blown away by the positive response on here! Thank you all so much! It's really helped inspire me to write quicker, so much so that I'm already on the fifth chapter. This chapter, in all honesty, is one of my favorite things that I've written. I don't know why, seeing as how it wounded me to write Deku like this. Poor Uraraka. A storm's coming and she's gotta deal with so much shit.

* * *

 _"You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain."_

* * *

Deku had died. She'd watched his body crash into the cold, dark waves right after he'd hit the air hard enough to send her back up and keep her from following him. She had spent nearly eleven long months mourning and missing him. She'd screamed and cried, begged and raged, hollowed herself out and built herself back up again. How was he here? Why was he here? She wanted to run to him, throw her arms around him, never let him go.

She also wanted to get the hell out of here. Why?

"Did you miss me?" Deku asked, so calm and light.

"I…" Uraraka tried desperately to find her voice, but it felt as if it had been taken from her. "O-of course I missed you. There's not a day that went by that I didn't think of you."

"Is that so?" Deku's voice was little more than a murmur, beckoning her closer, but she didn't move. This wasn't real. She was dreaming. And if she wasn't dreaming, then this was some sort of trick. A villain with some sort of quirk to transform into someone else, like Toga from the League of Villains, but she'd been killed years ago.

Uraraka knew that she should react by defending herself, but instead found herself replying, "Yes! You died and I-I couldn't just let go of you. I couldn't just move on-"

"Oh, but you did, didn't you?" Deku stood from his seat, as if unfurling himself.

The power that radiated from him was enough to almost cause her knees to buckle, but she held her ground. What was happening? This wasn't him. This wasn't Deku. It couldn't be. He was dead. He was dead. He was here in her living room. It wasn't him and yet she knew that it was. She knew it was him like she knew her own quirk. Because he had been a part of her.

"I...don't…" Uraraka couldn't breathe.

Deku took four steps forward and then picked up the blanket on the couch, holding it between two fingers with a look of faint disdain on his face. It was such a strange look for him to wear. She'd never seen it before and it didn't line up with everything she'd loved about him. "Really, Ochako? Kacchan? I've got to confess: I didn't see that one coming."

It was the use of Bakugou's nickname that did her in. Kacchan. It was like an electric shock went from her head all the way down to her toes. It was him.

Tears sprung into her eyes. "Deku." She started trembling, unable to stop herself, as she thought about the nights she had dreamed that she would wake up and he would in the living room or kitchen like nothing had ever happened. But now he was here and she was afraid. "D-Deku, I-I-"

In a flash, Deku was in front of her (had he used his quirk?), a concerned expression on his face. She knew that face. She knew him. But even with his features smoothed into something that she recognized, he looked off. Maybe it was his eyes, those bright green eyes, like he was looking at her from not quite seeing her. "It's okay, Ochako, it's okay," he told her gently, cupping her face in his hands. She could feel the scars on his hand that he'd broken repeatedly at U.A. to become a hero. He brushed the tears away with his thumbs, as he had done so many times before. "I know, I know. It's a lot to take in."

She couldn't stop the tears if she tried and her knees finally buckled so she fell against him. He took her weight like it was nothing, leaning into her even further and pressing his forehead against hers. It even smelled like him. Leaning against him felt so familiar, like a part of her had come back home, that she wanted to bury herself in him and never come back up for air.

And yet she kept thinking about the way he was holding her face. His fingers were soft as he touched her skin and swiped at her tears, but they trembled every so slightly, like he was holding himself back. From what? It occurred to her that he could kill her with just an ounce of his power. All he had to do was squeeze a tiny bit and she would be dead. More dead than him apparently.

"Y-you were gone and I f-felt so l-lost without you," Uraraka cried. She had handled her world turning upside down once before; she didn't know if she could do it again. "This w-wasn't h-home."

"I'm here now," Deku told her in a soft voice. "I wanted to come back to you earlier. I really did." He sounded so earnest that it hurt her. "But I couldn't. I had work to do, you see, and they wouldn't let me."

Even though tears were still slipping down her cheeks and she was a sniveling mess, she lifted her head slightly so that she could look him in the eyes. They looked so wrong. "They...wouldn't let you?"

Deku sighed. "It was such a mess when I was brought in and, of course, they didn't trust me at first. I wouldn't have trusted me! But I showed them in time and they let me come back." He either didn't notice the confused look on her face or he didn't care. He was starting to ramble, a habit that he had never outgrown. She had loved him - did love him? - for it. "I had to see you again. I had to. It was all I could think about sometimes. You, in our bed, by yourself at night. Sitting at the counter alone. Rewatching our favorite movies. The thought of you here alone killed me and I couldn't stand thinking that you had no one…"

It had wounded her too. All those things had stung to the point where she'd begun to feel numb. It didn't feel the same without him here. The bed was too large, their favorite movies no longer entertaining, having to play the radio or turn on the news just to hear a voice while she ate. This had been their first place together, chosen by the both of them, and the apartment that she'd once loved had turned into a prison at times.

She was so caught up in agreeing with him that she didn't notice the sudden shift in Deku. His thumbs stopped brushing her cheeks, the smile faded from his face, and he tilted his head as he examined her. "You can imagine my surprise when I was told that you'd been seen with Kacchan multiple times. I couldn't believe it. Out of all our friends, him? Even after showing me pictures, I thought they had to be fake. And then I saw him leaving here this morning. I brought you flowers. I thought about making you breakfast and he'd already done it. I'd forgotten what a good cook he was. How thoughtful of him."

"He was just being friendly-"

"Since when has Kacchan ever been friendly?" Deku laughed and it was so cold that she had to fight the urge to shiver. He slid a finger from her cheek down under her chin, his eyes falling from hers down to her lips. "No, I know him. I know when he _wants_ something and how he goes about taking it." His hand shifted as his thumb moved to caress her chapped lips. "But you're mine. I won't have him stepping in my shoes, in my bed, my home. This is my life. He can try to beat me at everything, but he won't win this."

Uraraka was at a loss for words. For as long as she could remember, Deku had never been the jealous type. Even before they had started dating, when she'd tried her best to get over her silly crush on him and see other people, he had never been angry about it. He'd confessed to being upset, but not at her. All he'd wanted for her was happiness and if that meant being with someone else because he was too shy or too busy, then he could handle it. He had been such a good friend. The relief when they'd first gotten together had been overwhelming, like they had both been waiting for that page to turn on their lives.

This felt so wrong. There was an undercurrent of rage under his words that her mouth dried up. It reminded her of Bakugou, although he never tried to hide it. He let everyone know what he was feeling whereas Deku tried to hide it so as to not be a burden. This wasn't him hiding his anger though. He was letting it course through him, like his One for All quirk.

"It's not your fault," Deku told her, making her mind spin. "Kacchan can be charming when he wants to be and you were in a vulnerable position. I should've come back to you sooner, but they wouldn't let me, so I tried to get your attention." A bright smile popped onto his face. "I thought, what would make Ochako happy? Getting rid of villains! There were a handful that we needed out of our way so we could expand and, sure, it would've made more sense to recruit them, but they were nothing compared to me. It worked out so perfectly. I got rid of them and it made you happy too."

"That…" Uraraka thought back. It was true that villains in her section had dropped significantly over the past few months and there hadn't been so much as a purse snatching in her neighborhood in so long. Maybe it wasn't the fact that villains were avoiding the area so much as they were being taken out of commission. "Deku, what did you do?"

"I killed them," Deku said cheerfully. "For you! Well, and for the others, but they were just a means to get me back to you."

Horror crept into Uraraka's bones, but when she tried to pull away, Deku's grip tightened on her without him even moving or changing his expression. It wasn't enough to hurt her, but she was afraid that if he went any further, he would leave bruises on her. She didn't understand. He kept saying "they" without explaining who "they" were, but she had a feeling that she already knew. And he'd killed villains? For her? For them?

"Where have you been?" Uraraka asked, trying her hardest to sound strong despite the fact that the ground underneath her was shaking. "Who are you talking about?"

Deku looked her over like he was checking for wounds, smoothing her hair down. "The League of Villains, silly. Well, two point O. We kind of crushed them before, didn't we?" He laughed brightly, tilting his head. "It's much better this time around, much stronger. They really know what they're doing. I finally feel like I belong. My power is mine."

This time, when Uraraka jerked away from him, he let her and she staggered into the countertop behind her, the marble digging into her lower back. The expression on his face was far too blank for comfort. It was like he was painting all those other emotions on his face when he deemed necessary and this was his true face. Nothing. Not a hint of who he was before.

"Who are you?" Uraraka demanded.

"You know who I am."

"The Deku I know and love wouldn't do anything like this," Uraraka told him.

Deku shrugged his shoulders. "That Deku drowned. This is who I was truly meant to be."

No, no, he was wrong. Uraraka shook her head violently, too shocked to cry anymore. Deku was meant to be a hero. He was meant to be a symbol of peace. He was going to become the greatest hero in the world. This Deku she couldn't understand or accept. When he reached out for her again, she slapped his hands away, but then he grabbed her by the wrists, this time hard enough to bruise, and jerked her against him even as she shouted at him to let her go.

He was stronger than her, always had been, but he'd never once used that against her before unless they were competing at school. The feeling of wrongness crept over her like inky black water, making her feel as if she was the one drowning now.

"I don't expect you to understand right away," Deku told her, his tender tone contrasting sharply with the way he was gripping her in a vise. "I'm not unreasonable. It took me time too." He smiled at her again, that smile that she had loved, the smile that made her tremble now. It wasn't him. "Just know that I love you and I will never leave you again. I won't let you get hurt."

She couldn't find it in her heart that he was hurting her now. She was lost in those eyes, threatened to be swallowed completely by how hollow they looked now that she was so close to his face. All she knew was that she had to say something or everything would go terribly wrong. She could feel herself standing on a precipice where if she took one wrong step she would be the one falling and she was scared that he'd be the one to push her over.

"I-I love you too," Uraraka whispered and she did. She had loved him and she did love him and she would always love him.

But this wasn't him.

His grip on her tightened for a second and then loosened, but instead of letting her go, Deku cupped her face again and pressed his lips against hers in a searing kiss. Even though she knew it was wrong and that everything was shattered into pieces, for a brief moment, she let herself revel in it. She let her hands rest lightly against his chest, the steady beat of his heart telling her that he was alive, and despite the tears on her face and lips, he clung to her like she was a breath of fresh air and she missed him something terrible.

When the moment was over and Deku pulled away from her, Uraraka could only stare at him in horror. He looked so unimaginably happy, just as he had been the day they'd first moved in here.

Deku stroked her cheek, focusing on the pink spots, and then reached past her to grab something on the counter, the length of his firm body pressed up against hers as he ignored her personal space. "I know the first person you're going to tell is Kacchan - and while I'm disappointed, I understand you'll need someone aggressively strong - so let me help you get the point across." She heard the scratching marks of pen on paper and watched Deku's face out of the corner of her eyes as he left his mark. When he was done, he set the pen down and fully pulled away from her, leaving her swaying on the spot.

"Where…?" Uraraka had to speak. Her mind was screaming at her to pull herself together, but she could barely move, much less talk. "Where are you going?"

"Back to work," Deku answered. "There's a lot to be done."

She wanted to throw up. Back to work. Back to the new League of Villains. Deku, her Deku… She clenched her fists at her side, but nothing happened. Part of her wanted to smack him and activate her quirk on him, but she had a feeling that whatever was holding him together would fall apart at the seams if she did. Then, despite his promise, he would hurt her. She didn't know. She couldn't risk it when she felt like everything she'd known was wrong.

"See you soon, Ochako," Deku promised before simply walking out the front door, like it was just another morning and he was off to the hero agency he worked at. Except he wasn't going to where heroes went. He was going back to villains and darkness and shadow.

Uraraka stood in place for a terribly long time, trembling and holding her hands over her mouth so that she either wouldn't cry or scream. She wasn't sure which one would come out. Finally, she dragged her eyes to look back at the counter and saw what Deku had written on the note Bakugou had left her earlier. It seemed like a lifetime ago, another world away, like she'd woken up and fallen into an alternate universe. But seeing Bakugou's scratchy writing next to Deku's careful one confirmed that this was her reality now.

Tears welled up in Uraraka's eyes again when she saw Deku's note and a muffled whimper of "No" tumbled out of her lips from behind her hands.

Deku was alive. He was alive. Her dream had come true - and it turned out to be a nightmare.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes:** I will admit that I think these next two chapters are on the slower side, but I couldn't skip over them. Bakugou's reaction is a lot more explosive than when I write (former) Class A's reaction in the next chapter, but I've still got some favorite parts of this. Like the compare/contrast between Bakugou and Deku in this chapter and Todoroki stealing the scene in the next one. Plus, they set up for some MAJOR confrontations chapters five, six, and seven. Oh yeah, I'm that far ahead already. Enjoy!

* * *

 _"I can be a hero and a villain all in one night."_  
 **― Chelsea Sedoti, As You Wish**

* * *

It took longer than Uraraka wanted to admit for her to pull herself up from the ground where she'd crumpled into a ball after Deku had walked out. She could still smell him, feel the warmth of his lips on hers and the tight grip on her wrists. When she finally stood up and looked down at them, she could see the bruises already forming on them, the marks that stood out noticeably as fingers. Once she started moving though, she couldn't stop and she almost forgot the note in her haste to rush out the door.

The first person she called, just as Deku had predicted, was Bakugou, but not for the reasons that Deku had said. He thought that she needed someone to hold her up, but she'd been doing just fine on her own. However, after realizing that she'd never even asked him how he was alive, she had come to conclusion that Deku was also fixated on Bakugou. It wasn't just her. He had come out of hiding - or the villains he was working for (being controlled by?) - after being confronted with hers and Bakugou's strange friendship.

Which was something that clearly displeased him on a furious level that she didn't know what to do with. She'd never had to deal with a jealous Deku before, much less one that seemed close to spiraling into violence at the drop of a pin. All of which made Uraraka think that while Deku proclaimed to not wanting to hurt her, Bakugou was in danger. No that he'd ever think that of himself, but they knew the extent of Deku's power.

It was not something Bakugou could shrug off.

As soon as she got in her car, Uraraka called Bakugou's cell. As she waited for him to pick up, she caught a glimpse of herself in her rearview mirror and winced. She looked terrible, like she'd gone on a bender. A part of her felt like she had. She was still shaking, even if her mind had stopped screaming.

Deku was alive. He was alive. And apparently he was killing villains in her area like some sort of twisted love letter to her and also to benefit his new companions.

Bakugou finally answered, sounding grouchy as ever. " _Uraraka, why the fuck are you-?"_

"Where are you?" Uraraka demanded, blazing right over him in what was normally his way.

Her explosive interruption took him off guard so much that he answered, " _At the agency,"_ without hesitation. Go figure he would go out day drinking and then go right back to work the next day like it was nothing. Then he seemed to gather himself. " _Why do you sound like you're a second away from losing your shit?"_

 _Because I_ am _losing my shit!_ Uraraka's mind screamed.

"I-I can't explain it over the phone," Uraraka told him. This was something that had to be said in person. Her mind was going a million miles per hour as she tried to match it with her car. She would say that she was driving like Bakugou, but Deku had always warned her about her bad speeding habit. "I'm coming there."

" _What-?"_

Uraraka hung on him. No sense in dragging it out over the phone. He'd get over it the second she told him what was going on. My god, who else did she have to call? Tsu for sure and then Todoroki next. She needed Tsu's straightforward mind and support and Todoroki deserved to know immediately as well. He'd seen Deku's fall into the ocean. He'd seen Deku die. He had to know that Deku was alive.

He had to know that Deku was a villain.

It took Uraraka twenty minutes too long to get to Bakugou's agency. She practically slammed into a parking spot and had barely pulled the key out of the ignition before she was bolting through the doors. The wait at the front desk to confirm her identity was unbearable, but at least Bakugou had had the foresight to warn them about her coming so they didn't have to call him. She'd been to the agency he worked at a few times, so she knew where she was going without thinking.

When she saw him, Uraraka came to a skidding halt, her entrance loud and surprising enough to catch more than a few eyes, including Bakugou's. The second his red eyes latched onto hers, she stomped towards him, giving him little time to narrow his eyes and say, "Ura-" before she grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him to the nearest room, which turned out to be a large supply closet.

"What the fuck, Uraraka?" Bakugou demanded, ripping his wrist out of her grip. He was only wearing half his hero costume, which probably meant that he wasn't actually scheduled to work but came in to do paperwork and provide backup if needed. "Do you have any idea what this looks like?" She did not - she didn't care - but all that running and panicking had caught up with her and she was trying to breathe. "For fuck's sake, you're gonna give everyone the wrong-"

"Deku is alive!" Uraraka exploded and then gasped for air again. She hadn't been ready, but she had needed to get the words out as fast as possible.

Bakugou blinked and then furrowed his brow into a deep scowl. "Are you still drunk?"

"What?" Uraraka returned his scowl. "No!"

"Well did you take something? I mean, if you're hallucinating, we should probably get you to a hospital. I can't believe that you'd be so-"

"I didn't take anything, Bakugou!" Uraraka exclaimed, absolutely furious by his assumption. Granted, it wasn't that unreasonable. She was the one spouting off that her dead boyfriend was alive. But said dead boyfriend had been in her living room a little over thirty minutes ago and she was starting to freak out. "Deku is alive! He was in my goddamn living room! He-he-"

He'd kissed her. And she'd kissed him back. Gods, she had thought she knew how much she'd missed him until that moment when he was right there, holding her, pressing his lips against hers. It had been so long that maybe she had started to forget, which ashamed her. He clearly hadn't. The passion hadn't left him one bit. If anything, the months apart where he had been very clearly not dead had intensified things for him.

Bakugou grabbed her by the arms, enough to snap her out of the daze she'd fallen into, but not hard enough to hurt her. Not hard enough to cause bruises like the ones on her wrists that she was hiding with a long sleeve shirt. She didn't even want to know how he would react to that. She didn't know how he would react to _this_. His eyes bore into hers with an intensity that she hadn't seen in Deku's. It made her feel sick again, Bakugou this close to her, just as Deku had been. He felt _warmer_. Maybe it was his quirk.

"You didn't just dream it?" Bakugou asked her, again in that uncharacteristically quiet voice from last night. "You said that you sometimes thought you saw him…"

Uraraka shook her head. "He was sitting in the chair, just waiting for me. I don't know how long he was even in my apartment. He…" Oh, great, the tears were staring to come back. Who could blame her though? It was one thing for Deku to come back from the dead; quite another for him to do that and also apparently be working for a new and improved League of Villains. "It was him, Bakugou, but it wasn't. There's something wrong with him - something wrong with his head." She forced herself to be still. "You have to believe me."

"You're not making any sense," Bakugou told her. "We saw him die almost a year ago."

"He's back and there's something wrong with him!" Uraraka exclaimed. "Fine, if you don't believe me" - she dug the note out of her pocket and held it out to him - "look at this."

It was the piece of paper that he'd written on this morning next to the breakfast he'd made her. He took it from her and looked down at it. At the top of the paper was his handwriting, _Eat this!_

And below it, in Deku's careful penmanship: _Thanks for making Ochako breakfast, Kacchan!_

There was a few seconds where Bakugou didn't react at all and she was afraid that he thought that she had faked the whole thing somehow, like she'd learned how to write like Deku and forged this note. But then he crumpled the note in his hand and she had to grab his fist to keep him from letting off an explosion and burning it. For some reason, she couldn't stand the idea of burning Deku's writing.

Bakugou raised his free hand and covered his eyes, a pained scowl on his face. "Deku - that fucking, little shit." After a while, he pulled his hand away and looked down at her. She was still holding onto his fist, leaning in close to him so that she had to tilt her head up to look at him. "He's been gone for months. Of course he's not himself. What the fuck? Where the fuck was he? What was he doing?"

Here was the kicker, the thing that Uraraka knew would amount to a kick and a punch to his gut. "He...he kept rambling on about how 'they' wouldn't let him see me." Bakugou gave her a look that said to continue and she swallowed despite her mouth being dry. "The League of Villains, Bakugou. They brought it back - and I don't know how, but they got a hold of him and...and he's a part of them."

"Are you fucking shitting me?" Bakugou snapped.

"You remember how I was telling you that it's been strangely quiet in my sector for a while?" Uraraka didn't even want to think about it. All the heroes thought that they'd just been doing a good job - that their hard work had paid off and was acting as a deterrent. Meanwhile, there had been even more violent crimes happening under their noses. Sharks eating sharks. Crimes being perpetrated to commit crimes. Her lips trembled. "He told me that he was killing villains to make me _happy_ \- to get them out of the way for me and the League."

Bakugou just stared at her like she had two heads and honestly she didn't blame him. She wasn't doing a good job at explaining things. A few minutes ago, Deku had been dead and gone and they'd gone out to mourn him on his birthday last night. Now he was alive and apparently a bad guy? Uraraka would've had trouble wrapping her head around it if not for the fact that he'd broken into her place to talk to her. Was it breaking in if he'd lived there before? His name wasn't on the lease anymore.

"Tell me everything," Bakugou said slowly, "from the beginning."

So Uraraka did, as carefully as she could. Every time she started to derail, Bakugou would stop her by either touching her hand or saying something. She told him how Deku had just said hello like it was nothing. She told him how upset Deku been over Bakugou being a part of her life, though she didn't mention how jealous he'd seemed. Maybe she had been reading into it too much. She told him everything that he'd said about the League and how he'd killed villains for her, like some twisted vigilante. She told him how Deku had said that he was never going to leave her and then-

Uraraka blushed. "And he, um, he kissed me."

"He what?" Bakugou clenched his fists.

"It's like to him nothing has changed," Uraraka said, "like he was never gone."

There was a beat where they just stared at each other and Bakugou said, "Like you're still his."

"Um, well…"

Bakugou leaned forward, putting a hand against the wall next to her head so that he towered over her and she pressed herself back against the wall. Despite him crowding her, she didn't feel threatened, not like she had when Deku had cupped her cheeks and looked her over. "Are you?"

Uraraka frowned and glared up at him. "My dead boyfriend came back to life, broke into my apartment, and told me that he's become a villain and killed people to get my attention. I don't know what the fuck I am."

That seemed to appease him or snap him out of whatever fog he was in. Bakugou pulled away from her and ran his fingers through his sandy blonde hair. It was already a mess, like usual, but him tugging at it made it worse. He didn't seem to know what to do with his hands though and he started to pace in the small space of the closet as his brain went into overdrive.

"Shit, this is… This is so fucked." Bakugou rubbed his face. "We've got to… Fuck!" He fist slammed into the door, putting a slight dent into it. Uraraka didn't flinch. "I don't know what we're supposed to do. We can't just sit on this." He turned to face her. "Have you told anyone else?"

"No," Uraraka said, "I came to you first."

Bakugou nodded. "Okay, well, we need to… Shit, should we just call everyone from our class? What's the fucking protocol for shit like this?" She didn't know, hence why she had come here to him. "We need to call Todoroki first. I'm sure you'll tell Tsuyu and Iida and I'll let Kirishima know. Fuck, this is going to be bad." He groaned. "Why couldn't Deku…?" That was a sentence he couldn't finish. "We'll get a hold of everyone - tell them we need to meet. I don't care if they're on their fucking deathbed; they better get healthy and show up. No excuses. This is some serious ass shit."

As Bakugou talked, Uraraka could only nod her head in agreement. She had known that she would be the one to call Todoroki. It was expected of her to talk to Tsuyu, but Bakugou hadn't spoken to Todoroki since Deku's funeral as far as she knew. There wasn't any need for them to stay in contact without Deku in the middle. Uraraka had tried her best, but had come to the conclusion that without Deku, there was nothing to bridge the two. Deku had been like that for a lot of people. Their group had never been the same without him. He'd been the glue.

"Uraraka, are you with me? Are you listening?"

She closed her eyes. "It was him. It was what I wanted and he…" No, she wouldn't cry again. She wouldn't. "He was so off and I was scared. I've never been scared of him before, but I knew that if I made one mistake, that would be the end of it." She brought her hands up to cover her face. "He promised he wouldn't hurt me, but-"

Without warning, Bakugou grabbed one of her hands and shoved back her sleeve. "What the fuck?" He did the same with her other wrist and then held them out so he could see the bruises as plain as day. "Did he do this?" She didn't want to admit it, but she bit her lip and he knew. "What do you call this then?" He gripped her hands tighter so she couldn't pull them away and hide the bruises again, but not tight enough where it hurt. "If this isn't hurting you-"

"He didn't mean it!" Uraraka exclaimed, knowing damn well how foolish she sounded. "It's not him!"

"He still did it!" Bakugou countered furiously.

Uraraka jerked her hands away from him and he let them slip out of his grip. Just as quickly though, despite glaring at him, she threw her arms around his middle and he pulled her into a hug. She wasn't going to cry, but she needed this. She was terrified. She didn't know what to think; she didn't know what to do. What was wrong with Deku? What had happened to him? She should have been able to save him. She should have been stronger. She should have been quicker.

"This is so fucked up," Bakugou sighed into her hair.

A mirthless laugh tumbled from Uraraka's lips. He didn't even know the half of it, but she couldn't tell him that he had to be there in order to know the full extent. She had a terrible feeling that Bakugou would find out soon enough. She didn't think this Deku was the kind to let sleeping dogs lie. That was what scared her even more.

After what was probably too long for hugging - but Uraraka had really needed it - Bakugou pulled away from her and said, "We're going to need more proof than this note."

Uraraka pondered it for a moment and then a light bulb went off in her head. "He left out the front door! I've got a security camera out there that takes pictures of everyone that gets in its view."

"You installed it like I suggested," Bakugou said, as if he hadn't actually believed she would.

She hadn't at first when he'd told her six months ago. She had thought it was stupid and pointless. But after Deku's death, all of her friends had wanted to take more precautions on protecting herself, as if Deku alone had been the deterrent for anyone to come after Uravity. She'd one it a few months ago on a whim, but so far it had only caught awkward pictures of her friends and an embarrassing amount of food delivery people.

Uraraka stared up at him. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do now."

"Shit, shit…" Bakugou pressed the heel of his palm against one of his eyes. "We need to take some time off. This shit is big. But we can't tell anyone outside our group yet. I...I don't know. Just send some messages out. I've gotta talk to my boss." He opened the supply closet door, ignoring the looks of everyone in the office, and dragged her out. He put his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "Stay here. Don't do something stupid."

To be honest, she couldn't move if she'd tried. An overwhelming sense of nothingness threatened to wash her away in the wake of her telling Bakugou what had happened. Outside of telling their friends, she didn't know what to do. She had a feeling that Deku would find her first and that both terrified and exhilarated her. Now that he wasn't in front of her, she was desperate to pull him back and try to make him see reason, but a small part of her knew that the second she saw him, she would do no such thing. She was too scared of breaking whatever piece of him remained sane.

 _I should've searched for you longer,_ Uraraka thought desperately, even though she knew it was futile. Tsuyu had been the one to pull her away when his body had never been found despite their best efforts. They hadn't even had a body for his funeral, which made perfect sense now since he hadn't been dead.

A loud noise from the head honcho's office startled Uraraka out of her thoughts. She heard Bakugou shout, "That's not the case at all!" and then some more muffled, angry noises. Every other hero and sidekick kept shooting glances at her and then the closed door until Bakugou practically kicked the door open and stormed out, forcing them to pretend as if they were busy working.

Bakugou wasted no time in leaving, grabbing her gently by the wrist despite the tension in his body, and dragging her into the elevator as he growled, "Let's go, Round Face." There was no time for Uraraka to respond, only follow him, as she staggered into the elevator and then watched the doors shut. As soon as they were alone, he let go of her and turned to face. "Did I hurt you?"

"Huh?" Oh, the bruises on her wrist. Uraraka shook her head. "No, it's...it's fine."

"I bought us some time." Bakugou looked away. "Did you call your agency?"

Of course he was on top of things. Uraraka was having trouble figuring out what was up and what was down. As they walked out of the building, she called her agency and made up an excuse that her grandma was dying and she needed some time out of the office. The fact that her grandparents had already passed was not something that they knew, so they told her to take the time that she needed. Bakugou seemed pleased with the outcome, but there was still a grim expression on his face.

The next step was sending a group message. The two of them stood in the parking lot, debating each other about what to say, until they finally settled on something. Uraraka noted that she had more people while Bakugou stuck with the main people in his crew at school.

 _Meet at Bakugou's tonight at 8. Extremely important. Dire situation._

Bakugou had wanted to add that they would be fucked up if they didn't show, but Uraraka had disagreed. Already the text was too short to give an idea of what was going on, but their class was smart. They'd had texts like this sent out to them before, like Deku's location ping concerning the Hero Killer back in their first year at U.A., so everyone knew that when a mass group text was sent out like this, it was serious, especially if Bakugou was part of it. He hadn't been happy about using his place as a meeting place, but considering hers had been broken into, it was the best option.

As expected, on the way back to her apartment, Tsu called. " _Ochako, what was that text about?"_

"I can't explain it over the phone," Uraraka told her, rattling with nerves. She could see Bakugou's car behind her. No way was he letting her go back to her place alone to check the surveillance camera. She didn't think Deku would be there - he'd told her that he was busy and needed to go to work - but the idea of her going alone had nearly sent Bakugou off the deep end. "I just need you to be there."

" _Does it...have something to do with you and Bakugou?"_ Tsu asked almost cautiously.

"What? No!" Well, it kind of did. Uraraka had gotten the impression that Deku wanted to make sure that Bakugou was out of the picture. How, she wasn't for sure. "Tsu, I can't talk about this right now." She closed her eyes. Weak, she was weak. She wanted to tell her best friend. "It's…it's more complicated than that."

" _It's okay. I understand, ribbit."_ Tsu had a way of getting to the point of things that Uraraka struggled with, this being one. She accepted what Uraraka said and would wait. " _I'll see you tonight."_

Uraraka desperately wished everyone else could be that easy. Because they had sent a group text and both of them had been stupid enough to put each other in their texts in case one couldn't respond, her phone was blowing up. People were demanding answers, sending shitposts that she knew would piss Bakugou off, freaking out, and making wild assumptions that somehow seemed more logical than the truth.

The only time that Uraraka paid attention to it was when Bakugou sent out a text, _URARAKA IS NOT PREGNANT!_ It had her raising her eyebrows, but no one texted after that, so it at least had the desired response. Gods, she hoped Deku couldn't get a hold of these messages. Judging from the way he'd reacted to Bakugou sleeping on her couch, the idea that she might be pregnant with his child would send Deku on a rampage.

Uraraka clenched her steering wheel tightly. She didn't know what would send Deku off the rail, but she had a bad feeling that if it had to do with Bakugou or her, it wouldn't be good. She thought to call Bakugou to tell him to hang back just in case they were being watched, but she knew that he wouldn't agree no matter what. She had a feeling that her alone time was going to be at an all time low. It would limit the chances of a hero turned villain popping up on her unannounced.

She parked reasonably slower at her apartment than she had at Bakugou's agency. He was not so slow. However, she noticed that when he got out, his eyes surveyed the area and he had his hands palm out like he was ready for a fight. Like he was waiting for Deku to pop up and to explode him. He was being cautious, she knew, but it made her feel only tired.

Deku wasn't around. He was off doing...villain work. Uraraka wouldn't have been able to say how she knew except that she did. He was a part of her, even now that she didn't wholly recognize him. She knew.

The walk up to her apartment to check on the computer that dealt with the surveillance was eerily silent. Bakugou spent the whole time looking out of the corner of her eyes while he made sure Uraraka was only one step ahead of him in case he had to grab her or something. She could tell that he was defending her and it irritated the hell out of her, but she said nothing. It was a stark difference from last night when he had carried her up the stars, his body tense but his touch soft. It was hard to believe that had been less than a day ago.

When she went to open the door, Bakugou swung an arm around her to pull her back and said, "Hold on. Let me check it first."

But Uraraka was too tired and worn thin to deal with that, so she shoved him off of her and exclaimed, "Would you stop it?" and then barrelled into her apartment with him sputtering angrily behind her. Of course there was no one in here. Deku was gone. There wasn't a single trace that he had been in here. She'd remembered to release the floating bowl right before she left, letting it fall into the sink. Sitting down at her desk, she opened up her laptop and pulled up the surveillance program.

Her heart leapt into her throat the second she found Deku's picture. Judging by the way he was looking directly in the camera, a big grin on his face and his hand held up in a friendly wave, he'd known about it and had gone out the front intentionally. It was almost a sweet picture, except for the fact that everything about it felt wrong. There was an off tilt about the way he held himself, leaning slightly to the left as if off-balance. She almost reached out to touch the screen, but then pulled her hand back.

Behind her, Bakugou stared hard at the screen. One of his hands was gripping the back of her chair so tight that his knuckles were white and he was leaning over her, his chest brushing against against her back. She felt when he growled low under his breath upon seeing the picture, but when she glanced back and up at him, there was an unreadable expression on his face. She couldn't tell what he was thinking and it made her shrink in her seat.

"He's still a damn nerd, even now," Bakugou grouched, reaching over her to print the picture. Uraraka flashed back to when Deku had done the same thing to write the note, like both had forgotten her personal space. It felt different though; her skin wasn't crawling. "It's like he's toying with us."

Even though the image felt wrong, Uraraka thought she could see hints of her Deku in him, like the real him was peeking out below the surface. It gave her hope that she could save him - or maybe she was just kidding herself. She couldn't stand the idea of giving up on him though. She felt as if she'd done it once already, accepting his death when she should've kept on looking for him. He'd been out there - who knows what being done to him in order to twist his mind - and she'd just lived her life. She'd done nothing to save him.

She wouldn't do it again. Uraraka swore that she'd go to the ends of the earth if it meant saving Deku. She didn't care what anyone else thought.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes:** When I started this fic, I had little idea where I was going. This doesn't start out as the most exciting of chapters, as it's Uraraka telling their friends about Deku, but then Todoroki stole the scene and I ran with it like I was going for a touchdown. This is setting up for some seriously epic chapters, IMO. The dynamic between Bakugou, Uraraka, and Todoroki has been a very unexpected but pleasant surprise while writing this.

* * *

 _"Great heroes need great sorrows and burdens, or half their greatness goes unnoticed. It is all part of the fairy tale."_  
 **― Peter S. Beagle, The Last Unicorn**

* * *

By the time eight rolled around, Bakugou's apartment was cramped and Uraraka was a bundle of nerves. It had taken everything in her not to explode multiple times throughout the day. While everyone else was in the living room or connected dining area, she hung out in his bedroom, sitting on the edge of his bed and bouncing her foot. She knew that she was hiding right now, but she couldn't help it. She felt guilty for wishing that she could rewind to this morning so that none of this had happened, but a small part of her was still happy that he was alive.

She'd lost count of how many times Bakugou had checked the perimeter to make sure that Deku wasn't around. Maybe he'd wanted Deku to show his face. Bakugou had never felt more like a ticking time bomb before. The once strange but easy flow between them was staticky and tense. He hadn't been in a talkative mood and she hadn't forced him, too lost in her own mind. She knew that it would be only a matter of time before he blew up; she just didn't know when or how bad it would be.

The door swung open and Bakugou stepped inside, shutting it behind him. "Now you're just trying to make things look bad." Uraraka gave him a frazzled look and he let out a huff before walking towards her. When he was standing right in front of her, he folded his arms across his chest and looked down at her. "Everyone's here. Well, everyone important at least." The fact that he'd admitted that other people were important definitely showed how serious this was.

"What am I supposed to say?" Uraraka asked him.

"The truth, duh," Bakugou told her. "Deku's alive masquerading as a villain and is obsessed with you."

Uraraka frowned at his description. She couldn't understand how he could sound so flippant about this while she felt like she was dying on the inside, but then she noticed how tense he was holding his arms and how he was straining to keep his expression passive. She wanted to tell him that he could talk to her - tell her how this was affecting him and not just her - but she had a feeling that he'd brush her off right now. Instead, she took a deep breath, stood up, and walked out of the bedroom.

Immediately she was assaulted by the distressed voices of her former classmates and friends. Kirishima and Iida were the loudest, the latter rushing up to ask her if she was okay. Then it was Ashido, pushing him aside so that she could hug Uraraka even though she hadn't said anything. Kaminari was in his hero costume, having come straight from work, while Momo was wearing a very nice gown, looking like she'd let an opera to come here. Everyone was shouting over each other with the exception of Todoroki, who was leaning against the threshold of the kitchen and eyeing her carefully.

"Everyone shut the fuck up!" Bakugou yelled, the loudest of them all as usual. It got their attention at least. "I've got one rule and one rule only: no interrupting until she's done saying what she's gotta say, no matter how much you feel like we need your opinion."

Uraraka stood in front of her friends and wrung her hands together as they looked at her with a mixture of confusion and wariness. How insane this must be to all of them, having received a terse and demanding message from both her and Bakugou. She wondered what they were thinking. She'd ignored the flood of text messages while Bakugou had sent a flurry of them back with barely contained fury. She didn't realize that she was trembling again until Tsu grabbed her hand and she stilled herself.

"I know this is going to sound like I've gone mad, but…" Uraraka closed her eyes. She pictured Deku standing in front of her, wearing that smile, the one that had sent chills down her spine. It pained her to think of him like that, like her memory of him had been tainted. She wanted the old one back. She didn't want to remember him like this. It wasn't him. She looked at all of her friends. They'd mourned him too. "Deku is alive."

As predicted, the room exploded, everyone so loud that she couldn't understand anything. Shock, confusion, and disbelief spread like wildfire through the room until Bakugou yelled, "What did I say!" It took an incredible amount of willpower for everyone to quiet themselves, but he glared at them so viciously that they finally did. Most of them outright gawked at her. Even Tsu had pulled her hand away, too stunned to say anything. When she caught Todoroki's eyes, he nodded his head for her to continue, but she saw the way his fingers twitched.

Everything spilled out of her in a flood of words. She felt as if she'd talked for hours, rehashing the story one more time draining her completely. It was like she'd been holding herself up for days and now all she wanted to do was collapse in bed and hide under her covers.

As she spoke, horror slowly crept onto everyone's faces. Momo with her hands to her mouth, Jirou painfully still, Ashido with tears in her eyes. Kirishima held his head in his hands, staring into the distance, while Kaminari's mouth was wide open and Sero was silently wording swears. Ojiro covered his eyes with his tail and looked away. Tsu placed a hand back on Uraraka's back. Tokoyami grew more tense every second that passed. And then there was Todoroki, whose expression had hardened and a shadow hung over his face.

When she finished, a heavy silence had fallen over the room. It didn't look like anyone could speak even if they tried. The shock was too raw. Bringing Deku back into their lives like this felt like him dying all over again. It reopened up their wounds. His death hadn't just affected her. It had hit all of them hard and they'd spent months grieving and then getting back in the game. Now it was like they had to mourn him in a different way.

Kirishima was finally the one who broke the silence. "What the hell?" His hands fell from his face, like he didn't have the strength to hold them up anymore. "How? We searched for him for weeks."

"I…" Uraraka bit her lip. "I don't know. I guess they found him first."

"It doesn't matter," Bakugou interjected with a tone that didn't allow room for arguments. "What matters is how we react." A few people nodded their heads, but most were still too stunned to do anything. "Our number one priority should be Uraraka's safety."

Uraraka whipped around on him. "Excuse me? I can take care of myself!"

"I'm not questioning that! But we're dealing with someone that is off his rocker and capable of destroying a building with a single punch," Bakugou countered heatedly, staring at her hard to get her to back down. Uraraka would do no such thing.

"I'm not going to hide while he's out there!" Uraraka said. "Besides, Deku said that he wouldn't hurt me."

Bakugou's eyes flickered to her wrists, the bruises hidden from sight once again, but she was relieved that he didn't bring them up out loud. She would tell Tsu, Iida, and Todoroki later, but not out here. There were some things that she wanted to keep private and for some reason she couldn't bear everyone knowing that he had harmed her, even if she wasn't for sure if it had been intentional. Now that she looked back on the moment, it had almost seemed like he hadn't known that he was gripping her too hard. The entire time, it had felt like he was holding himself back, like he wasn't used to it but was doing it for her.

"I'm not going to take that chance," Bakugou told her flatly.

"I agree with Bakugou," Tsu put in. Uraraka gazed down at her best friend with an incredulous look, feeling almost betrayed. Not her too. "You are a very capable hero and strong in your own right, but Midoriya is on another level. We all know that."

"And if he really is working for the League and...killing people, then I doubt that he'll have an aversion to hurting you if he deems it necessary," Iida added uneasily. "From what you described, he sounds like he's barely holding it together."

Uraraka didn't want to admit that they were right, but it was the truth. Deku had always told her how amazing of a hero she was and how strong she was too, but on a purely combat level, he was much more powerful than her. Even with no energy left in him, he had managed a punch that blew her away from the water and sent her flying in the air without her zero gravity quirk on her. Besides, what if he did snap? It felt like they were playing a tense game of chess where they had to find a way to both placate Deku and stop him at the same time.

"First things first, we need to get you into a safe house," Bakugou decided.

"I am _not_ hiding," Uraraka said flatly. "I'm not leaving my apartment."

It had been hers and Deku's home. While it had grown cold in his absence, now that he was back, even like this, she couldn't leave it empty. It was like a beacon at the top of a lighthouse, hopefully guiding Deku back to safety and home. Back to her.

"You can't stay there," Bakugou argued. "It's totally compromised. He probably came in through your window that you always leave open and watched you sleep."

The mental image was enough to make Uraraka shudder. How long had he been in her apartment before coming out into the open to surprise her? She dimly recalled Bakugou shutting the window last night, but it had been open this morning. It angered her to know that he was probably right, but this was one thing that she wasn't going to let go of.

"I'm not leaving."

Before Bakugou could yell anything back, Todoroki's cool voice sliced through the air. "She should stay." It was the first time he'd spoken since arriving and everyone turned to look at him.

"Are you shitting me, Icy Hot?" Bakugou growled.

"Midoriya is acting very possessive of Uraraka," Todoroki continued as if Bakugou wasn't glaring daggers at him. "If he gets the feeling that we're trying to keep her from him, I think he'll react very poorly and lash out. If he's killing villains just because he thinks it'll make her happy, who knows what he'll do if he's angry?"

It was a valid question, one that Uraraka did not want to think about. Deku thought that what he was doing was right. Yes, it was for the League, but he was also doing good by getting rid of other villains. He could still be a hero in Uraraka's eyes. But what if he dropped that? What if that smile turned into a frown? What would he do if he was upset or mad?

Todoroki focused his steady gaze on Bakugou, ignoring everyone staring at him. "It will be even worse if he believes you're the one trying to keep him away from her."

There was a small smattering of explosions around Bakugou's hands. He was itching to fight someone and Todoroki was pushing all the wrong buttons. If he wasn't careful, he'd take Deku's place right now. "What the hell are you implying?"

"I'm not implying anything," Todoroki replied, infuriatingly cool. "He clearly has a grudge against you and thinks you're trying to take Uraraka away from him."

"Yeah, I am!" Bakugou shouted. "I don't want him in a ten mile radius of her!"

"That's not what I mean and you know it," Todoroki said. When Bakugou didn't respond, Uraraka glanced back him. There was an angry look on his face, but his entire body screamed that he was more uncomfortable than mad, like he knew that Todoroki was right but would be damned before admitting it.

Kaminari looked at the two other guys. "Uh, are you saying that…?"

"Midoriya is jealous of Bakugou," Todoroki finished with a shrug of his shoulders. "Bakugou was the only other person Midoriya mentioned and it was only in reference to her. He thinks Bakugou is trying to take his place in her life as a romantic partner." The situation did not call for blushing and yet both Uraraka and Bakugou did. Her face burned like it had caught on fire. Bakugou was seconds away from blowing a gasket. Why did Todoroki have to say it like that? "Which, I believe, puts Bakugou in more danger than Uraraka. If we're going to guard Uraraka, you'll need to be as well."

Now that the tables had been turned on him, Bakugou wasn't having it. Everything was fine with him when he thought that Uraraka needed protecting, but now that everyone was looking at him like he was the one with the bigger target on his back, he looked absolutely enraged. "Don't you fucking dare. I don't need protecting from him. If he wants to come at me, then let him. I'll pummel that villain shit right out of his head."

"I think we should avoid a head-on fight with him as much as possible," Momo said. "The amount of destruction that he's capable of would be devastating."

"There's no avoiding that!" Bakugou snapped. "Like it or not, there will be a confrontation and I aim to blast the shit out of him for pulling this shit."

Again, Uraraka knew he was right, but she really wished he wasn't. Everyone knew it as well, glancing each other with unease and almost fear. None of them wanted to fight someone that they cared about, perhaps with the exception of Bakugou. She couldn't picture a scenario where they wouldn't have to confront Deku in combat at some point though and she had a terrible feeling that he was going to be the one to make the first move. Much like Bakugou, Deku had seemed ready for a fight. He wanted to come out of hiding and show not just her but the world who he was now. It broke her heart.

Kirishima sunk into the couch. "This is so messed up."

Everyone fell silent again as they continued to absorb how much their lives had changed in a matter of minutes. It had felt like this back then too. She'd yelled at Bakugou to throw her towards Deku so she could touch him with her quirk and he'd done it, but then she'd only managed to snag air. She'd released her quirk on herself so that she could fall with Deku, reaching out for him but always coming up short. The moment he'd knocked her back into the sky and he'd crashed into the ocean and went under, she had screamed. And nothing was ever the same again. A few minutes before he'd been standing at her side and then he was just gone and her whole world had shifted into something she couldn't recognize.

When Uraraka glanced back at Bakugou, she found him looking at her, a burning intensity in his red eyes that told her that he was going to protect her whether she wanted him to or not. Well, as long as he was good with her doing the same thing for him. She was going to save him and Deku. She would. She had to.

If only she'd known just how bad things were, she might have let them hide her.

* * *

Bakugou was fucking lit. He couldn't remember being so angry in his life and he really had calmed down since graduating from U.A. even if few believed it. He'd been so pissed that he'd just stood there as everyone else talked about who was going to guard who and how they were going to go about doing it. A steady rotation of guards between the two of them with one main person in charge of each.

All he could do was stare down Uraraka, like she had been the one to say that he needed protection. He didn't. He could protect himself. He wouldn't lose to Deku no matter what, especially not with what was at stake. They hoped that someone always standing guard would keep Deku away, but Bakugou didn't want that. He wanted Deku to come find him; he wanted Deku to confront him. That way he could ground Deku's face into the concrete for how he'd hurt Uraraka.

He'd gripped her so tight that he'd bruised her wrists. Bakugou couldn't get the image of those bruises out of his head. It was beginning to drive him mad.

Even worse was how Uraraka was brushing it off. He knew she was devastated and terrified. How she had held it together for everyone was nothing short of a miracle. There had been some crying here and there, but that was to be expected. He couldn't fault her for that. She was strong though and had no intentions of letting everyone else do the heavy lifting. He just wished that she'd see reason. They needed to get her out of Deku's reach.

Kirishima slapped him on the back. "Looks like you're stuck with me and Iida for a bit."

Bakugou groaned. "Fucking great." He had to figure out a way to ditch them somehow. He had a feeling that as soon as he did, Deku would show his stupid nerd face. The anticipation of seeing him again was almost too much for Bakugou to take. He didn't really know how he felt about it, except that it needed to happen soon. "Who's staying with Uraraka?"

"Todoroki and Tsu," Kirishima told him.

Good, good. As much as Bakugou thought Todoroki could be a pompous ass, he could admit that Todoroki was also incredibly strong. Besides himself, he would consider Todoroki to be the best person to watch over Uraraka and keep her safe and he knew that the other guy would do everything in his power to do so. She also undoubtedly needed the comfort that her best friend could give her. A small voice in the back of his mind yelled at him to do more for her, but he held himself back.

Almost everyone had left, all of them in a daze. Kirishima was saying something, but Bakugou watched Uraraka talking with Jirou and Yaoyozora in hushed tones from the corner of his eyes. The three girls hugged and then parted, leaving Uraraka standing alone for the first time since she'd told everyone what was going on. "Yeah, yeah," he said to Kirishima, not sure if it was even the right response, before walking over to her.

Uraraka immediately turned to look up at him, as if she'd known that he would be there. She gave him a tired smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Thank you, Bakugou, for everything."

"I'm not done yet," he told her gruffly. "We're gonna get him."

Bakugou was going to save the goddamn nerd. He didn't know if he wanted to and he didn't know what would happen if he did, but he knew that it had to be done. Deku as a villain was far too dangerous for the world. He had to be stopped. More importantly, it was wrong. Although he'd believed her after she had told him everything, it had been hard to picture Deku as a villain, much less a killer.

When Bakugou had seen the picture of Deku on her doorstep though, his heart had damn near stopped. It was that same annoying smile that had made him want to punch something when they were younger - but then it wasn't and he could see exactly what Uraraka had meant. It was Deku, but it wasn't. He couldn't put a finger on it, just that Deku looked off. The big smile hadn't reached his green eyes like normal.

Deku's eyes. Bakugou thought back to the picture. He'd never seen eyes so dead before. He had a feeling that when they did light up, it was nothing good.

For a moment, Bakugou half-raised his hand so that he could touch her cheek, but then thought better of it and put it in his pocket instead. She didn't seem to notice. "Be careful, got it? If you so much as see a glimpse of him, you better call me." She nodded. "We're going to fix this. We'll get him back."

Honestly, Bakugou didn't know what it would mean for him to get Deku back. They hadn't exactly been friends before he'd died, but they hadn't been enemies. Allies was probably the best way to describe them. They hadn't had quite the bitter rivalry that All Might and Endeavor had had, but it hadn't really been a friendly one either. They could work with each other and acknowledge their talent, but the competition had never died.

Well, until Deku did.

But what Bakugou couldn't think about - couldn't even let his mind go there - was what Deku's return would mean for him and _Uraraka_. He thought of her telling him last night that she would always love Deku. At the time it had been a sickeningly sweet sentiment, just like her. Now it just made him feel sick. He refused to think about it.

Uraraka was gone too soon, swept out of his apartment by Tsuyu. For a moment, Todoroki hung back. He sighed and turned to face Bakugou, that impossibly impassive expression that had driven him crazy since high school resting on his face. "I'm going to tell you this as nicely as possible, but I need you to stay away from Uraraka."

"Fucking what?" Bakugou snarled. "Are you her dad?"

"It's for her safety as much it is for yours," Todoroki said, totally unfazed. Using Uraraka's safety against him was a low blow, but it was more effective than Bakugou's scowl apparently. "The more you come around, the more Midoriya is likely to see you as a threat that needs to be eliminated. He might already be in that mindset, but maybe some distance will get him to lessen his fixation on you."

"I _am_ a threat," Bakugou pointed out, though he didn't mean it in the way that Todoroki was suggesting. Telling everyone that Bakugou was interested in Uraraka romantically… That half and half bastard. It was none of their business. Besides, Bakugou didn't think she was ready.

"Of course." Todoroki thought he knew how strong Bakugou was. He didn't know the half of it. Neither did Deku. They'd find out soon enough. "My main concern is Uraraka's safety. I'm worried his promise to not hurt her might get broken if he starts to believe that she's leaving him. If he feels betrayed by her, things could go downhill very quickly. I'd rather not risk it."

Bakugou gritted his teeth because of course Todoroki was making perfect sense. Right now, Deku was living this nice fantasy where he came back and was going to play house with Uraraka again. That she might not choose him or agree with his new villain identity hadn't occurred to him. And when it did… Bakugou didn't doubt for a second that this new Deku would not let it or her go. There were those bruises on her wrists, like they were his mark on her saying, _You're mine._

Taking a breath and forcing the rage to bleed out of him, Bakugou made a grunt in acknowledgement and turned away. He'd stay away from Uraraka - unless she called for him. If Deku tried anything shifty with her, there wasn't anything the others could do to stop Bakugou from showing up and kicking his ass.

"Keep her safe," Bakugou said, implying that he was actually trusting Todoroki with her. "If Deku comes around…"

"I won't let him even come close," Todoroki promised, a hard edge in his voice finally breaking through the cold. "And Tsuyu will make certain that Uraraka doesn't do anything foolish. She wants to believe the old Deku can come back."

Bakugou gave him a sideways glance. "Don't you?"

"I'll let you know after I face him." Todoroki looked down at his left hand. "It's going to happen sooner than later."

That was something Bakugou could understand and agree with. He could feel it too. The air was charged with a power that reminded him of Deku's quirk. He also knew things would change once he saw Deku in person. He needed to see just how far Deku was gone. No offense to Uraraka, but she was seeing him through some rose-colored glasses and they all knew it. Even Bakugou didn't want to believe that Deku was at the point of no return, but he had to be so far out to even get to where he was now.

After Todoroki left, the only other people with him were Kirishima and Iida. They all sort of stared at each other awkwardly, not knowing what to do or say, until Kirishima said, "So...movie?"

"I'm going to bed," Bakugou said instead, blowing past the two to go into his room. "You all can do whatever the hell you want."

He didn't wait for either of them to respond, slamming the door behind himself. Their muffled voices could be heard, but he ignored them. They weren't going to watch a movie. Deku floating around somewhere as a villain was too big of a thing to simply not talk about. He didn't think anyone was going to get a good night's rest tonight, least of all him or Uraraka.

The whole situation sat heavy in Bakugou's mind. He threw himself on his bed and stared up at the ceiling, trying to imagine what it must have been like for Uraraka. What had Deku been like? She'd done her best to explain it, to him and to everyone else, but it was hard to say. He'd sounded...excited. Cheerful. Very intense. Maybe even slightly manic. He went from disdainful to understanding in seconds flat. Oh, Deku was good at being caring. He was so damn compassionate. Or was he anymore? Was any of it real?

Bakugou didn't know. It was still hard for him to picture Deku acting as he looked in the security camera photo. He still couldn't tie a damn tie properly to save his life. That had stuck out to Bakugou in a painful way, like it was some shitty reminder that it really was Deku in there somewhere. A truly far gone villain Deku would know how to tie a tie, right?

He had to have been lying in bed for hours obsessing over it when he heard his phone vibrate briefly on the table, alerting him to a text message. He didn't bother getting it at first, but then he had nothing else to do, so he rolled over and grabbed it to see who it was.

 **Uraraka**  
 _I can't sleep. I keep thinking he's gonna crawl in my window and watch me. I feel so stupid._

Bakugou's fingers curled around his phone. He shouldn't have said that and put the image in her head, but it was true. He'd thought that he had locked her window up, but Deku being Deku had probably made sure that there was a way for him to still get in through it. Bakugou had a feeling that it hadn't been the first time Deku had snuck around her apartment. It made his stomach flip and his hands sweatier than normal.

 **Katsuki**  
 _Is Tsuyu in there with you?_

 **Uraraka**  
 _No, I don't want to bother her. I already feel like burden having people guard over me like I'm some helpless civilian._

 **Katsuki**  
 _Stupid. They're there because they care about you and want to help. Let them._

He wanted her to say that she wanted him there, not Todoroki or Tsuyu. He would be better at protecting her. He knew Deku better than anyone besides her, even more than Todoroki or Iida. Bakugou could admit that Todoroki was strong enough to take care of her, but it wasn't enough. He should be there with her. But he also knew that Todoroki was right. His presence around her would make things worse. His not being there makes him feel like shit though too.

 **Uraraka**  
 _Be nice to Kirishima and Iida. They're worried about you too._

 **Katsuki**  
 _There's nothing to worry about. Go to sleep._

Fucking understatement of the year. There was everything to worry about.

Freaking Deku had come back from the grave to announce to the world that he was now a super villain and gods knew what else. What was his endgame? What was his plan? Surely Uraraka wasn't the only thing motivating him. He'd told her that he had killed those villains to make her happy, but also because the League of Villains wanted them out of the way. Were they expanding their territory? Were they planning an attack on somewhere in the area? There was so much to consider that the idea of sleep was entirely lost on him.

However, sleep had other ideas for him. Bakugou was mid-thought when he drifted off, his cell still in his hand.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes:** I suppose I should say something that I guess I didn't make clear, which...is most likely. Some people have asked if this is going to end in IzuOcha or Kacchako and, to be honest, the answer is I don't have any clue HOW this going to end. I'm coming up with it as I go and just writing what feels right. I will say that the heart of this story is IzuOcha, so there's that. This is definitely a story about Ochako and Izuku.

Another thing is that I've had a few people more or less say it's sketchy of Bakugou to move in on Uraraka so soon after Deku's death. But he didn't. Bakugou has never once made any moves on her. As of right now, they're still very much strictly friends that got closer through mourning (both in their own way). Now, could there have been/is there potential for more? Yeah, there is. They're right on that precipice. But that's something that neither of them would've gotten into for months from now and, well, Deku's return kind of scratched that to hell. Bakugou respects Uraraka and if she was uncomfortable with anything he'd back off, even though neither one of them have really considered more yet. Until Deku came in PROJECTING the HELL out of his jealousy, which made the whole "oh shit could there have been more?" thing a lot more obvious.

Anyways, didn't think I'd be defending this asshole's honor. lmao THANK YOU ALL FOR READING STILL AND PUTTING UP WITH MY WAFFLING! Now we're getting to that good shit. Guess who's back! I had a ton of fun writing this scene. Man, Villain!Deku is wild. So starts the beginning of Bakugou's No Good, Very Bad Night.

* * *

 _"Maybe I am villain in your story, but I am hero in mine."_  
 **― Shon Mehta, The Timingila**

* * *

The first day was painful. The second day was almost unbearable. It was like he was on house arrest and Bakugou was going mad. The three of them circulated the apartment like it was a prison, trying to appear casual and like this was normal except it fucking wasn't. Every now and then Iida would do a quick check outside, but nothing ever happened. All conversations led back to Deku anyways. What they thought he was doing, what his game plan might be, how he'd survived, what had happened to make him turn his back on everything he believed in.

Eventually, they would have to tell All Might and the other teachers at U.A., but none of them seemed to have the heart or strength to do it. Bakugou didn't want to see the look on his hero's face when he found out that his protege was using the gift he'd given him to do evil. He had a feeling that Uraraka would be the one to tell him. She was better at stuff like that. It shouldn't have to be her, but she'd shoulder the burden.

They'd need all the help they could get though to deal with the shitstorm that was Deku now. Aizawa would be especially needed. If they could cancel Deku's quirk just for the few seconds needed to get him, then they would have a much better chance at stopping him. But how? What if they got a hold of him and couldn't snap him out of this villain mindset? What if this was just who he was now?

A video call on Bakugou's laptop jerked the three of them out of an intense argument about dinner. Noticing that it was Kaminari, they all crowded around the computer as Bakugou sat down and answered the call. "Checking in to make sure I haven't killed these two sorry asses yet?"

"Yeah, uh, sorry to disturb the fun, but, uh-" Kaminari looked anxious on the other end, squirming around in his seat and having trouble connecting eyes with them. "Have you seen the news?" They shook their heads. The tv had gone untouched the entire day. "There isn't much public information right now, but I was able to get a hold of some more details and video. This, uh…" He cringed. "This isn't going to be good."

He sent them a link, which Bakugou clicked on and immediately swore when he realized what he was seeing. A giant hole in the wall of a maximum security prison where the most violent villains were held. Had been held. Judging by the smoke coming out of the prison and the amount of pro heroes and cops surrounding it, there probably weren't that many left.

"How many escaped?" Iida questioned.

"Forty-two," Kaminari answered. "The exact number hasn't officially been made public, but I have my ways."

"Fucking hell," Bakugou swore. Forty-two highly dangerous villains loose on the street all at once? There was going to be pandamonium. More than anything, he felt the need to be out there - to do something - but he was locked up in his building. The agency would probably be calling him any second to come back in. Heroes were going to be in overtime for months.

Kirishima gripped Bakugou's chair tightly. "Do you…? Do you think it has something to do with Deku?" He clearly hadn't wanted to ask, but it had to be brought up. The four guys looked at each other.

"It's him," Bakugou said decisively.

"We can't know for certain," Iida hastily said.

Bakugou shook his head. "It's him. Look at the size of that hole. Look at the damage. This was a calculated attack. We all know how meticulous he is. And for the League of Villains, this is the cream of the crop. Some of the old crew was locked up in there."

Including one or two that had had a hand in Bakugou's kidnapping when he'd been a student at U.A. The fact that Deku had broken them out stung on a personal level. There were other prisons that they could have gone to, but they had chosen this one. It was like Deku was waving a hand at him shouting, _Look what I did, Kacchan!_ Like that stupid note he'd written below Bakugou's own. He'd put some of those criminals in there and Deku had busted them right back out.

"Do the others know?" Iida asked.

Kaminari shook his head. "I don't think so or I would've heard something." He fiddled with the headset of his hero costume. He'd gone to work like everything was normal, but he was definitely not feeling it. "I wasn't sure if I should tell Uraraka or not. It'll really upset her…"

"Not telling her will piss her off," Bakugou pointed out, "which I can ensure you is infinitely worse." There was an ill sort of look on Kaminari's face, but he nodded his head in agreement. "Besides, she'll find out anyways. It should be from one of us."

"You're right," Kaminari sighed. "I'll send you the details I have now and give you any further updates."

"And keep searching for any leads on Deku's whereabouts," Bakugou reminded him sharply. Kaminari bounced his head in a tired but dutiful nod. "I don't care if it's just a grainy picture of the back of his dumb green head. You better put those nights spent hacking into camera feeds with that little grape perv to good fucking use."

The way he jumped in his seat and turned red, it looked like Kaminari had shocked himself. "I did not-"

But Bakugou ended the call abruptly, leaning back in his chair and running his fingers through his hair. Kirishima pulled back slightly so that he could stand up straight while Iida was still staring at the video like he might be able to do some good just looking at it. Forty two villains. According to the most recent report from the police, there were nine confirmed dead, four villains and five guards. Innocent people were being killed and there was jack shit they could do right now. Bakugou wasn't going to get anywhere stuck in here.

Bakugou stood up. "I need some air. Alone."

Kirishima and Iida shot each other nervous glances and Kirishima began, "I don't think-"

"I don't care what you think," Bakugou interrupted. "I need some fucking air and I need you all to stop hovering over me so I can _think_." He pulled a hoodie out of the closet by the door and dragged it over his head while he slipped on a pair of shoes. "I'll just be two stories up on the roof. If I so much as catch a glimpse of one of you, I'm blowing you off it."

He left Kirishima and Iida standing awkwardly in his living room and made his way to the stairwell. True to his word, he was going up to the roof, but not for the fresh air. The prison break kept bouncing around in his head. It did feel like it had been pointed towards him somehow, like how Deku had been killing villains in Uraraka's sector in order to catch her attention. He couldn't figure out why, just that it did, and he knew that something was about to happen. Things were going to change.

The first step was the roof.

Bakugou sat on the rooftop until the sun went completely down and the stars and moon lit up the sky. He lived in a part of town where there was a decent amount of lights so he could still see well enough. So lost in his thoughts, he almost didn't hear a swish of air and the sound of someone walking behind him. Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself up to stand and flexed his fingers before turning around to face his new rooftop companion.

"Did you see the news?" Deku asked, a delighted smile on his face. "I knew you'd fight to be alone afterwards. You're deceptively intelligent. I've always admired that about you, Kacchan."

Out of all the times Bakugou had pictured seeing Deku again, he had thought that he would react quickly, leaping to attack Deku or blow him into the sky. Of course, the moment it did happen, he did neither of those things. The second he heard the use of his old nickname, Bakugou had frozen, just as Uraraka had. It was really him. It was Deku. He was wearing a similar suit to the one he'd worn at Uraraka's, except with a green shirt and black gloves, like he was a chauffeur for some rich person.

It made no fucking sense and Bakugou was suddenly hit by the overwhelming fact that he didn't know what he was supposed to do.

"The prison break was you," Bakugou managed to say.

"They really should do something about their security," Deku mused thoughtfully, almost to himself. It was a bit like how he would ramble his thoughts out loud under his breath. "One punch was all it took to break down the wall. I kind of expected more considering who all was in there."

This was surreal. After being gone for almost a year, Deku was acting like he'd only been gone for a week, like he hadn't died and they were just having a normal conversation. But this wasn't normal. This was anything but normal. Deku had been dead. Bakugou had watched him save them all and then plummet to his death before using the last of his strength to save Uraraka. Deku had been a _hero_.

Bakugou got into a fighting stance, preparing for the worst. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I felt like it was time we had a talk," Deku said, like everything was super normal. That sounded like something the old Deku had said. The first time they'd been forced to work together solo on a joint agency mission, Deku had tried to pull the same bullshit. They needed to talk. No, they just had to do their damn job.

Just like Bakugou needed to show Deku that he couldn't just fuck around with Uraraka like that.

However, when Bakugou moved to make an attack, an explosion at the ready in his hand, Deku lifted his right leg up like he was about to march and held it there. "I wouldn't do that if I were you." His head tilted in a curious manner. It was so off. Bakugou came to a halt though. He didn't have to see Deku's leg to know that he was channeling his quirk into it. "I wonder what would happen if I destroyed this building. Oh, I know, you'll use your quirk to blast up in the air. Kirishima's quirk will keep him safe. Iida can probably get out in time. But what about all the civilians? How many do you think will survive? Five? Ten? None?"

What the fuck? Bakugou gawked at Deku in horror. This was what Uraraka had dealt with on her own? This wasn't just a villain. This was a fucking nightmare. Deku looked genuinely curious about his estimate on how many people would live if he smashed down on the building with his quirk. There was also a hard glint in his eyes, that shine Bakugou had thought wouldn't speak of anything good, like he was daring Bakugou to make a move and force his hand into destroying the building. Like he wanted to do it and was just looking for an excuse.

Bakugou forced his hands to relax and Deku let out a sigh as he put his foot gently back on the ground. "How disappointing. You've grown more cautious this past year." He raised an eyebrow. "Not as confident perhaps? Did my death shake you up more than you've admitted?"

"I'm plenty fucking confident for the both of us," Bakugou snapped. The anger felt strangely hollow though. It was like he was playing some sort of role in Deku's game. The angry, explosive one to Deku's cool and clever. He was being toyed with again. "Your death didn't do shit to hinder me."

"Oh? Is that why Shoto is ahead of you in the pro hero ranking?" Deku asked.

Everything came to a halt in Bakugou's mind as he stared back at Deku, seeing him but not at the same time. If you had asked him, Bakugou would've said that he had begun to push himself somehow even harder after Deku's death, just as Uraraka had. However, despite doing an insanely impressive job, the numbers told a slightly different story. There were missteps here and there that shouldn't have happened and Bakugou couldn't explain them.

What really struck him though was Deku's knowledge of him. It appeared as if Deku had been keeping tabs on him. He'd been paying attention, watching Bakugou as well. Maybe even Todoroki too. Had the League been spying on all of them or had Deku done his own personal digging?

"You know, I could take care of that for you," Deku offered, one of those helpful looks on his face. Bakugou had hated that look. Once upon a time, it had made him believe that Deku thought him weak when apparently he was just being nice. Bakugou honestly couldn't tell if it was the same now or the very opposite. Deku looked so genuine that it made Bakugou hesitate.

But he didn't like where this was going. "What are you talking about, Deku?"

"I can get him out of the way!" Deku said excitedly, holding his hands out. "I'll kill Shoto - and Endeavor too, for good measure - and that'll open a path for you to the top."

The words coming out of his mouth were so terrible, so out of place, so wrong that Bakugou actually took an involuntary step backwards. He'd never done that with Deku before; he had always pushed himself forward. The only time he had even come close to this had been after the conclusion of their first fight during their combat training simulation at U.A. The shock of experiencing Deku's quirk and finding out that everything he'd thought he knew was wrong had thrown him off.

This new Deku and his flip between casual and excited threats of violence made Bakugou feel as if he'd been hit by Uraraka's zero gravity quirk and he was floating in space with no idea of when he would come down.

"All you have to do," Deku continued, a quiet intensity in his voice now as he stepped more into the light, "is leave Ochako alone."

That snapped Bakugou out of it and he glared furiously. "What?"

"Kacchan, don't play stupid with me now," Deku said, like he was scolding a child. He pulled something out from behind him and tossed it onto the ground in between them.

Bakugou dragged his eyes down to see what it was. A folder, splayed open, with dozens of pictures of him and Uraraka these past ten months. Them sitting at a cafe talking over coffee, getting drinks at a bar near his agency, a large group of them celebrating his birthday, the two of them in their hero outfits working together. There was even one of him holding the door open for her and glaring back at someone while he had a hand hovering over the small of her back. Someone had been keeping _very_ close tabs on them.

What was it that Uraraka had told him? That the League had shown Deku pictures of them together to prove to him that she was spending time with Bakugou? This had been their way to point Deku in his direction and turn Deku into their weapon. They'd used Uraraka to turn him against them. It felt like a violation. All this time they had been mourning him and trying to move on with their lives and someone had been following them. It made his skin crawl.

"While I appreciate you taking care of her while I was gone," Deku said, "you're not needed anymore. You've been a good friend to her, but that's my responsibility now. I want you to leave her alone."

"Like hell I am!" Bakugou snapped.

Any semblance of pleasantries vanished from Deku's face in a flash, replaced by a cold, dead look in his eyes. "I'm not going to tell you again nicely, Kacchan."

"Or what?" Bakugou countered.

When Deku simply replied, "Or I kill everyone you've ever remotely cared about," Bakugou knew that he was telling the damn truth. There was no hesitation in his voice, no trembling of his body, not a single blink or flinch. He didn't say it out of anger or desperation to get what he wanted. It just...was. He would not hold back out of uncertainty. It would just be simple retribution for Bakugou not listening.

Still, Bakugou wasn't the kind of person to back down even when threatened. He could hear that stupid half and half bastard warning him not to rile up Deku, but he didn't give a shit. If this was how Deku wanted to do it, then Bakugou was going to take him down first.

"Fucking try me," Bakugou snarled, "but I'm not letting you get near Uraraka." A few explosions burst around his hands in preparation. Deku didn't flinch, but a hard expression had fallen over his face. "You're out of your mind, Deku. If you try anything with her, I'll beat the ever loving shit out you. I'm not letting you hurt her."

This seemed to strike a chord. Deku's hands began to shake, even after he formed them into fists, the black gloves stretching over his knuckles. "Hurt her? You don't have to worry about that. I would never hurt her." His voice was starting to get a little hysterical, his green eyes bright in all the wrong ways. "I love her!" He pointed a shaky finger at Bakugou. "You're the one that's going to hurt her. Look at you. All you do is destroy things, Kacchan! That's all you're capable of! I love her! She loves me! _Me_!"

"Then what the hell do you call those bruises on her wrists, you bastard?" Bakugou shouted back.

Deku suddenly snapped, like a twig. One second he was ready to explode and then he froze, as if his brain had shut down. And then, slowly, like he was being rebooted, his entire body started trembling. "I...I didn't…" He blinked, seemingly stunned. "I wouldn't..." Had he really not known what he was doing when he'd grabbed her too hard? Had he lost control without realizing it? "I would never… She knows…"

Bakugou was struck by Deku's sudden shift and he knew. It was him. It was _Deku_.

He was still fucking in there somewhere.

Damnit, Uraraka was right. But Bakugou was probably the last person on earth capable of actually dragging the real Deku back into the light. If anything, he knew that he'd make things worse. Even now, as Deku stood shaking like a leaf in front of him, it had been Uraraka that had done it.

Then, Deku shoved his fingers into his green hair and bent over in half, staring at the ground. "No, no, no…" he kept muttering as he violently shook his head. "No, no, no!"

Bakugou saw it coming a mile away. Deku was spiraling, but even worse, he was activating his quirk. Torn between two identities, he was coming apart at the seams and the result would only end in destruction. He had to be stopped before that happened.

With Deku distracted, Bakugou took his chance, rushing forward to attack, but then Deku's eyes snapped to his at the last second. They were somehow wild and dead at the same time, practically glowing. It was too late to correct himself and Deku snatched him by his hoodie collar with the superhuman speed of his quirk and threw him hard into the ground, hard enough to crack the roof. Bakugou gasped in pain and shock, the wind knocked right of him.

Instead of finishing him off though, Deku stumbled backwards a few steps and ran his fingers through his hair, head tilted towards the night sky as he took deep breaths. "Oh, Kacchan, that was very rude." He didn't make a move towards Bakugou though, allowing him to drag himself to his feet. He could hear noise from behind the door and knew that Kirishima and Iida were on their way up. "Using Ochako like that to upset me. I didn't mean to hurt her, of course. I'll have to make it up to her somehow."

"You're not getting anywhere near her," Bakugou grit out through the pain, holding onto his right side. He felt like Deku had broken a rib or two. At least it wasn't his back. Shit, that had hurt and Deku hadn't even used half of his strength. "We won't let you."

Deku dropped his head back down to look at Bakugou. "Do you mean Shoto?" He let out a disappointed sigh. "I miss him too, but if he tries to keep Ochako away from me, I'll have to kill him and not to help you." He held out his hands palm up in a shrug, as if there was nothing to be done. "I'll probably have to anyways. It's a shame, but what can you do?"

Not kill him? Wasn't that an option? He was far too casual about it.

The door to the stairs burst open and Iida came to a skidding halt. He was too stunned at first to do or say anything until Kirishima showed up behind him. Bakugou could read their thoughts easily. They had believed Uraraka, of course, and had known that Deku was alive, but hearing about it and seeing him in the flesh was another thing. Kirishima took a hesitant step forward, hand slightly outreached, but then Iida stopped him with an arm held out against his chest like a bar.

Deku brightened up, beaming at them and even giving a cheerful wave. "Hi, guys!"

"Midoriya?" Iida called out.

"Sorry I can't stay to chat," Deku said in that same happy voice. "Catch!"

Once again, Bakugou was blindsided, but this time he hadn't even moved. In less than a blink of the eye, Deku was in front of him and grabbed Bakugou by the arm and launched him towards Kirishima and Iida. Bakugou shouted at them to move, unable to use his quirk to slow himself down without burning them, but they'd been so shocked by the contrast of Deku's sudden act of violence and cheerful demeanor that they stood stock still. He crashed into them like a truck, throwing them all back inside the stairwell and against a wall.

"Fuck!" Bakugou shouted, half in pain and half in anger. He shoved Iida off of him and dragged himself to his feet. He glanced back at the other two. Iida looked stunned still, his glasses having been knocked off his face. Kirishima had fared better; he'd used to his hardening quirk at the last minute to protect himself. Fuck, no wonder Bakugou felt as if he'd slammed through five layers of concrete.

Kirishima reached out to pull him back. "Bakugou, wai-"

It didn't matter. Bakugou knew before he ran back onto the roof that Deku would be gone. He'd probably leaped from the roof a second after throwing Bakugou like a frisbee. The only signs of him that he had been there - that he had been real and breathing and very much alive - were the broken concrete from where he'd slammed Bakugou and the folder containing the surveillance pictures. Bakugou watched as the photos skidded around and blew in the wind, one of them floating near his feet. He bent down to pick it up.

The photo had him and Uraraka in it. They were both wearing their hero costumes, looking a little scuffed up from a fight they'd just finished, destruction surrounding them. Uraraka was mid-yell, telling off another hero for some reason or another. She looked like a hot mess and she was clearly mad, but there was so much passion in her eyes. He stood to her right, arms folded across his chest, but he was gazing at her with a faint, proud smirk. If he had been someone else, he might've thought his expression was almost soft, but that didn't make sense.

None of this made sense.

"Bakugou?" Kirishima prompted, coming up from behind him and glancing at the picture.

"We have to warn Todoroki," Bakugou said, folding the picture and shoving it in his pocket. "Looks like he made it on Deku's shit list."

He thought about Deku's casual threat to kill everyone if Bakugou didn't get out of Uraraka's life and then back to Todoroki's words of warning to stay away from her. He might have put a target on everyone's backs, but he didn't think that Deku would hesitate to take out anyone that got in his way, regardless of what Bakugou said or did. It was a shitty thing to think about.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes:** I didn't want to really split this chapter up, but it was SO BIG - like the size of three chapters almost - so it just made sense to go ahead and do it. Still, as "quiet" as this chapter is, it sets up for the huge action that is the next chapter and also I think it sets the stage for other stuff that will happen in later chapters. Basically, this is an important one for both Uraraka and Todoroki, who has unwittingly become a big part of this fic, which I hadn't planned on so much originally.

* * *

 _"_ _Men have to have heroes, but no man can ever be as big as the need, and so a legend grows around a grain of truth, like a pearl."_ _ **  
**_ **―** **Peter S. Beagle, The Last Unicorn**

* * *

Uraraka was toweling her hair dry in her bedroom when she heard a phone ringing. The ringtone was some pop dance song, so she was caught off guard when Todoroki answered it. "Yes?" There was only time for a few words to be said on the other end before he exclaimed, "Are you kidding me? I told you to keep an eye on him at all times!"

Bakugou. Her heart leapt into her throat. Something had happened, something clearly not good.

Uraraka dropped the towel and burst into the living room to find Todoroki on the phone standing to the side of one of her windows, peering carefully out the blinds to look out into the street. Tsu was by the front door, having just come back from a perimeter check no doubt. Uraraka focused on Todoroki."What's going on? Is Bakugou okay?"

Todoroki connected eyes with her and nodded his head. Relief blossomed in Uraraka's chest, but she still felt tense. "How bad?" He sighed and pulled away from the blinds, letting them fall back into place. "Serves him right for pulling a stunt like that. He knew damn well what would happen."

It was hard for her to deal with simply listening to only one half of the conversation, especially since it was the half with no information. She could only attempt to piece together what was happening from Todoroki's responses. Tsu came to stand beside her, but Uraraka was so focused on him that she didn't notice or look away. What had Bakugou done? It had been something that irritated Todoroki, but he didn't appear super concerned. Then again, he was good at hiding how he felt. If it was really bad, he'd be doing more than talking on the phone.

"Just as I suspected, Midoriya's focus is on Uraraka. We're all targets in this. If anyone wants out…" Todoroki was passive and straightforward, turning his body from her slightly. Her heart skipped a beat. She didn't want anyone to get hurt because of her. If it came to that, she'd need to get away from everyone and try to deal with this on her own. She needed to get through to Deku. "I agree. We owe it to him. He wouldn't give up on any of us. And whether he thinks it or not now, he'd want us to protect her from him."

Deku. She knew that Todoroki was right. If it had been anyone else in his position, Deku would have gone to the ends of the earth to save them, no matter the cost. He'd given his life to save hers.

Just the thought of him out there, not being a hero, made breathing difficult. Uraraka pressed a hand to her chest while Tsu rubbed her back soothingly. Her best friend had been an exceptional source of comfort, but it made Uraraka feel guilty. She tried to be strong for Tsu as well, but she didn't feel like she'd done a good job. Todoroki accepted comfort with as much indifference as he did insults.

Todoroki suddenly tilted his head in thought. "Hm, that's...troubling, I suppose." Uraraka took an involuntary step forward, but he didn't notice. "Well, it's not entirely unexpected. I had a feeling it would happen. On a purely combat basis, I'm the biggest threat." Despite being on the phone, she could hear sudden shouting on the other end and knew right away that Bakugou was arguing against Todoroki's assessment. "He offered to do what? It's almost like he's trying to be...nice...in a way."

It was killing Uraraka not to know exactly what was being said. Next time, she'd force Todoroki to put the phone on speaker, although she had an inkling that he hadn't done it now so she wouldn't try to hijack the conversation or go into a panic before everything was explained. Her patience was wearing thin. While she loved Tsu and adored Todoroki, she couldn't stand being stuck in her apartment for much longer and no doubt Bakugou was faring worse. Kirishima was his best friend, but he and Iida were like oil and water and he liked his space.

"If I have to meet him head on, I will, but I really would prefer it to be outside of the city." Todoroki frowned and Uraraka's stomach did a flip.

The city. If Deku did come here and Todoroki had to defend them, the collateral damage would be immense. Who knew how many people would get caught up in it? Todoroki would be as careful as possible, but she knew that this new Deku wouldn't hesitate to bring a building down. After finding out about the prison break, she'd gone to hide in the shower. No one said anything, but they didn't have to. She'd seen Deku's quirk up close enough times to know what its outcome looked like.

How could she have been so foolish? So selfish? She couldn't stay here. Uraraka looked around her apartment, already mourning it even though she'd grown despondent over how empty it had felt before. There were so many memories of Deku here, so many bright points in her life that she was loathed to leave behind. Then she thought of the other morning when he appeared in her living room. She didn't want to taint the good with the bad.

"We will. Keep an eye out, though I don't think you'll need to be worried. He's coming here. I know him."

The second Todoroki hung up, Uraraka was on him, pulling away from Tsu. "We need to leave. Now."

Judging from the way Todoroki was gazing at her calmly, she figured that her response had been what he was expecting. "Are you certain?"

"I…" Uraraka bit her lip. "I don't want anyone else to get caught up in this." She looked down at her feet, suddenly ashamed that she hadn't considered civilians and that she was thinking so poorly of Deku. "We don't know what he's willing to do. We barely even know what he wants. I don't want to find out the hard way." She took a deep breath and gave Todoroki a determined look. "The fact is my being here puts innocent lives in harm's way. I hate it enough that you all are in jeopardy."

Todoroki pocketed his cell phone. "We're heroes. This is part of the job, just a little more personal." He was so calm about it, so straightforward. Both he and Tsu were, although Tsu was more open about how upset she was over everything. Still, when she looked him directly in the eyes, she saw the hint of uncertainty in them. The fear of the unknown.

"You can admit that you're afraid of what will happen when you see Deku," Uraraka told him quietly.

As if he'd been waiting for someone to call him out on it or maybe afraid that they would, Todoroki broke eye contact with her and rubbed his face, the first obvious sign that he'd given that this was deeply troubling him. "I don't… I don't want to hurt him. We're both capable of mass amounts of destruction, but I don't want to get to that level. I'm worried that he won't give me a choice." He looked down at his hands. "I'm worried that he'll push me to that brink on purpose."

"He did it once before, did he not?" Tsu put in. "At our first sports festival."

"Yeah, but that was to help me," Todoroki said. "This would be to hurt me. It's a twisted version of him, like how he's killing villains in order to please Uraraka and get her attention." It made her feel sick. She hated how there were so many hints of the old Deku in him, but they were distorted. "Midoriya showed up to confront Bakugou."

Uraraka gasped. "Is he-?"

"He's fine. Two broken ribs, but I think his ego is what's mostly damaged," Todoroki told her. That still didn't stop Uraraka's heart from feeling like it was going to beat right out of her chest. She had more or less figured it out, but hearing it upfront was still terrifying. He'd probably been much braver than her. A lot less crying, that was for certain. It was what he'd wanted, but it clearly hadn't turned out the way he would've liked. "As predicted, he told Bakugou to stay away from you."

"I bet Bakugou did not like that," Tsu said, shaking her head.

"He reacted about as well as we can expect, but Kirishima said that he didn't try to fight Midoriya immediately. I think actually seeing Midoriya in person took Bakugou off guard more than he anticipated." Todoroki was so analytical about it, but she could see that he was wondering if he would fall victim to the same reaction. Out of everyone, he and Tsu had spent the longest time with her searching for Deku. He'd ran himself past ragged. "He admitted to being behind the prison break, so it's clear that he has a goal for the League outside of you."

She had known it was him, but she didn't like hearing it. During his time as a hero, Deku had helped capture many of the villains locked up in that prison, as had some of the others. There were villains in there that had only ever known Deku as a hero and their enemy. Now he'd broken them out after putting them in there. She couldn't imagine the insanity right now. However, she recalled him mentioning how he'd killed the villains in her sector instead of recruiting them. If any of these newly freed villains acted out of line, she didn't think they'd last long.

Gods, what was she thinking? Two of Deku's best features were that he was so forgiving and kind. She had loved him for it so much. He had such a good heart.

A rather thoughtful look crossed Todoroki's face. "Deku offered to kill me and Endeavor to give Bakugou a clearer path to the top if he left you alone."

Uraraka paled and straightened up in shock. "Oh my god, that's… That's awful. Todoroki, I'm… I'm sorry."

The idea that Deku would even consider doing something like that was overwhelmingly painful. Todoroki had been Deku's best friend. They'd grown inseparable in their own way over the years. Deku had trusted him with everything, believed in and supported him, loved him even like a brother.

"He did say that he missed me and killing me would be a shame, so there's that, I suppose," Todoroki added, like it was no big deal when it clearly very much was. She watched the way he shifted on his feet and how he wouldn't meet her eyes again. Deku's offer and words had affected him. "It was going to come down to it anyways. If it's not Bakugou keeping you from him, it's one of us. I felt like I was the most logical choice. I'd...hoped that he might be more hesitant if it was me, but that doesn't seem to be the case. At any rate, if I'm not a threat with you, I would be for the League of Villains."

It was too much. Uraraka wasn't sure how much more she could take and yet she knew that it would have to be much more. This was just the beginning. All they could do was roll with every punch and fight back. They couldn't give up. It didn't make it any easier to accept though. "How can you talk so...practically about this?" she asked. He was just so clinical about the whole thing that it was beginning to drive her up a wall. Maybe it was just her nerves. Maybe she'd been around Bakugou too much.

Todoroki gave her a look that for the briefest of moments showed a pain in him that very much mirrored her own. "Because if I don't - if I allow myself to feel all of it - I don't know if I'll be able to fight him." He shut it away, hiding everything from her again, but she was grateful that he opened up to her even for a second. "Because I don't know if I'll be strong enough. And if I'm not…" He shook his head, like he was getting rid of those thoughts or at least hiding them. "That's not an option."

It sounded like something the old Deku would say: accept your fear and then move past it to save the day.

"C'mon, Ochako," Tsu said, tugging on her arm. "We need to pack if we're going to leave."

"Where are we going?" Uraraka asked.

"I'll figure that out while you're getting ready," Todoroki said decisively. "We need to alert the others to our move. And I think it's time we warned U.A. Perhaps it was wrong of us not to tell them earlier." He carefully glanced through the blinds again, but seemed appeased by what he saw - or what he didn't see. "I'm concerned that Midoriya's focus might swing to All Might at some point. He's focused on you, but he's also proven erratic and not opposed to killing any of us if it's necessary."

Tsu gulped. "You don't think-?"

"I don't know," Todoroki sighed, exhaustion evident in his voice again. Had he slept any in the past two days? To be honest, Uraraka couldn't be sure. She'd barely got sleep, but it was necessary to keep them in top shape in case a fight did come about. "I honestly don't know."

What made Uraraka feel even worse was that she didn't know either. She would swear up and down that Deku wouldn't hurt her (showing the bruises on her wrists to Tsu and Todoroki had caused a lot of hubris), but at the end of the day, she didn't know what he was capable of doing at all. She didn't know what he was willing to do or what he wanted to do. It didn't make any sense. She had always known what was in his heart and now… She couldn't even be sure what was going on in his mind. If it was even his thoughts to begin with.

 _Where are you, Deku?_ Uraraka thought aimlessly.

While Uraraka packed a bag with a separate one that included her Uravity gear, Tsu set about telling everyone that they were moving to a safer location. Everyone mostly replied back to Tsu in the affirmative and to contact them if they needed help with the transfer, except for Bakugou, who sent Uraraka a personal text that said, _Fucking finally._

It was the first time she'd spoken to him since his encounter with Deku and she was itching to call him, but knew that they didn't have the time for a chat on the phone. She'd have to either settle calling him on the way or sending him a flurry of texts if she wanted to remain more private. It bothered her that she thought that her conversation with Bakugou over Deku should be private, even though everyone likely knew most of the details already.

What had Deku done? What had he said exactly? She wished she could have been there though a small part of her was relieved that she hadn't. She didn't know what she would've done if she'd heard Deku say that he was willing to kill Todoroki. It would've shattered her heart into pieces. And then he'd broken two of Bakugou's ribs, although she wasn't certain how. The fight had clearly not gone in any way that Bakugou had planned.

She was scared. She was upset. She was _angry_.

It was like Deku was using her as an excuse to hurt other people and their friends and she hated it. Maybe if he'd just been a plain old evil villain, it wouldn't have wounded so much, but he'd dragged her into it and she didn't know how to stop him or if she even could. She was really afraid that the only way to get him to not hurt anyone she cared about was to go along with him, but she couldn't do that. She wasn't even sure what that would mean. He couldn't possibly be expecting her to join him in the League, could he?

"You ready?" Todoroki asked.

Uraraka nodded her head and slung her bags over her shoulders. It would've been easy to use her quirk on them, but she wanted to save her strength as much as possible just in case. No extra usage of her quirk unless absolutely necessary. She cast her apartment - her home with Deku - one last glance over.

Tsu laid a hand on her arm. "It's not goodbye."

"I know," Uraraka sighed. "I just hate feeling like I'm running away."

It was the logical choice. She knew it now. However, they all knew it would come with a new set of consequences. If Deku got it in his head that they were trying to steal Uraraka away from him, there was a very high possibility that he would go on a rampage. He had been capable of damage before when he was a hero; she did not want to think of what he would inflict now as a villain.

 _It's not him,_ Uraraka told herself. Deku was a hero in her heart and mind and always would be.

"We're going to U.A. first," Todoroki told them as they got in his car. It was _nice_. Uraraka offhandedly hoped to the gods that he had good insurance, just in case Deku decided to pop in for a visit. "I spoke with Aizawa. He has a safehouse that he used back in his pro hero days."

Uraraka swallowed. "Did you...tell them?"

Todoroki connected eyes with her in the rearview mirror. It was safer if she stayed in the backseat out of sight. His windows were tinted dark enough where she could hide there. "Yes, there wasn't the time to wait until we could do it face-to-face and I thought you might want a break from having to explain it again."

Relief and exhaustion threatened to swallow Uraraka whole, but all she could think was how much she appreciated her friends. The more she explained what had become of Deku, the more desolate she became, like every mention of that morning chipped away at the memory of who he'd been before. Telling their former teachers had been a burden that Todoroki had lifted from her shoulders.

"How did All Might take it?" Uraraka asked, her gaze falling on the buildings that they passed by.

"Devastated, shocked, ashamed," Todoroki said, like he was listing what was on a menu. "I don't think it's set in fully. He partially blames himself for Deku's death and now this. No one pushed Deku harder than he did."

Uraraka smiled sadly. "Not true. Deku did."

"Yeah," Todoroki agreed quietly, his eyes focused on the road. "He did."

"I'd never met anyone with such determination before," Tsu added. "He really made you want to become a better hero, right from the start."

They had all been determined to become heroes in their own way when they'd first joined U.A. For Uraraka, she had wanted to make enough money to give her parents a comfortable life and while she had done that, it wasn't the only reason she was a hero now. The idea that she had the ability to save lives meant so much to her. If she could save Deku now… If she could keep Bakugou, Todoroki, and all her friends safe…

"It's that determination I'm worried about now," Todoroki admitted, his white knuckles on the steering wheel betraying his collected voice. "He never once gave up, no matter what he was up against, no matter how many times he had to break himself. That's incredible in a hero, but dangerous in a villain."

It didn't help that they didn't know what Deku's exact plan was or what he wanted. They had some vague ideas, but beyond Uraraka and something that involved a lot of powerful villains, they couldn't be sure. Without that, they were having a hard time coming up with a plan. The three of them had spent the past two days coordinating and talking with the others, trying to figure out something beyond keeping out of Deku's reach. It wasn't just Bakugou that was getting antsy and reckless.

They were close to U.A., about ten minutes out, when Todoroki slammed on the breaks so hard that Uraraka jerked forward and hit the back of Tsu's seat despite wearing a seatbelt. His face was as pale as his knuckles now, lips pressed into a thin line, and his entire body was pulled like a tightly coiled spring. Uraraka rubbed her head and moved to follow his gaze as she reached out to touch him on the shoulder and then froze.

Standing in the middle of the road about thirty meters ahead of them was Deku. He was wearing a costume that was similar to his pro hero one, but not at the same time. The colors were wrong, black where it had been green and red or green instead of grey or white. It looked as if he had a hood that could be pulled over to cover his eyes and a mask that could cover the bottom half of his face, but he was letting himself be seen by them now. He wanted them to know who it was - that it was him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes:** This is probably the first fight scene that I've written that I have actually liked. It pretty much came out as I pictured it in my head. Still I'm worried that it won't live up to the hype. Also, I love writing Villain!Deku because I get to the melodramatic little shit that is my internal thought process. You know our boy and his rambling. Also this was when I realized that Todoroki was going to have an even bigger part in this than I'd originally envisioned. In the words of Bakugou: LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO!

* * *

 _"Haven't you learned yet? Someone has to be the villain so everyone else can stay alive."_  
 **― Josephine Angelini, Firewalker**

* * *

An unnatural fog or perhaps smoke rolled through the street, partially hiding Deku, but he simply stood in their way, his hands hanging at his side. Slowly, the fog began to fade away, only to reveal that Deku wasn't alone. Five other villains in equally horrifying costumes stood behind him, two on his left and three on his right. Knowing that they would have to face Deku sooner or later was one thing, but being confronted with six villains was something else.

It was the kind of thing villains did when they didn't want to leave anyone behind.

Todoroki gritted his teeth when he recognized one of them. "Dabi."

Uraraka's eyes latched onto the dark clad figure standing to the left of Deku. He was easily recognizable by the purple skin that hung from his jaw and below his eyes. There were more burns to him now, more scars, and he was thinner as well, probably from his time in prison, but it was him. The fact that Deku had brought him along was a direct slap to the face. After what he'd done to Bakugou, after what Todoroki had gone through to bring him down, and now he was back in their lives. She knew that he'd picked Dabi on purpose. Dabi was probably ecstatic that the boy who had desperately tried to save Bakugou from the League of Villains was now a part of them.

Tsu broke the tense silence and spoke what they were all thinking. "Todoroki, we cannot fight them."

"I don't think we have a choice," Todoroki responded, never once looking away from the five villains. Uraraka knew that he was trying to come up with a plan, calculate what he could possibly do to get them out of here. None of them wanted to just run away, but there was no way that they could get through them either. Todoroki was one of the strongest heroes she knew and she'd seen him take down multiple villains on his own even when they had been just students.

But so had Deku. He knew exactly how Todoroki worked and how to defeat him too.

As if he knew that Todoroki had come up with the same conclusion, Deku lifted a hand in the air and grinned.

Todoroki was gripping the steering wheel so tightly that he was almost shaking. "Tsu, call U.A. and alert them that we need reinforcements. They're the closest. Uraraka" - he eyes finally moved away from the villians and he caught hers in the rearview mirror - "call Bakugou. At least Iida might be able to arrive in time."

"In time for what?" Uraraka asked, even though she knew in her heart what his answer was.

"Before someone dies," Todoroki told her, focused on the villains again. He forced his body to relax, his arms going slack and his grip loosening. "I'll hold Deku and the others off for as long as I can."

"That's suicide!" Uraraka exclaimed, gripping the back of his seat.

"I'll go with you," Tsu said.

"No." Todoroki swung to look at Tsu. "I need you to stay with Uraraka. We don't know if they have backup. There could be more villains lurking."

He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. The villains were still waiting, giving them time to consider their situation. It wasn't good, no matter what way they looked at it. Todoroki was smart and strong, but there was only one of him and at least six of them, and they all knew how Deku worked. At least the Deku of old. She had a feeling this new Deku was different. He wouldn't be so cautious.

"I didn't want it to be this way…" Todoroki said under his breath. Tsu pulled out her phone and called U.A., her eyes flickering around them to get as much of an understanding of their situation as she could.

Uraraka sent their location to Bakugou's cell, but then leaned forward to put her hand on Todoroki's shoulder, causing him to open his eyes. "I know this is to protect me, but I'm here to protect you too. If it gets too much for you, I'm going in. Maybe… Maybe it'll stop Deku, if only for a moment." She hardened her resolve. "Don't forget; I'm a hero too."

A ghost of a smile crossed Todoroki's face, so faint and brief that she couldn't tell if it was there. "I know."

"Oy, Shoto!" Deku called out. "Are you going to come out to play or not?" He put his hands on his hips. "After all the trouble I went through to greet you properly too!"

Todoroki frowned. "At least he thinks highly of me still."

Right then, Bakugou called and Uraraka didn't get a single moment to say anything before he started in on her, anger lacing every single one of his words. _"What the fuck, Uraraka? Is it Deku already?"_

"And a few others, including Dabi," Uraraka told him, her eyes locked on Todoroki as he opened the door and slowly got out. She turned to watch Deku, who actually seemed happy. He even held his arms out like he was opening himself up for a hug. A wonderful reunion between two best friends.

Bakugou swore. _"That bastard. I'll fucking kill him."_ She wasn't sure if he was talking about Deku or Dabi, probably both. _"Hang tight. We're already on our way."_

"Hurry," Uraraka said, though it didn't need to be said. She didn't know how long Todoroki could last. She hoped the entire time and then some. He was strong, she kept reminding herself. She just didn't know if he was strong enough. It didn't matter. He had to be. That was it.

"Shoto!" Deku greeted. "I missed you!"

Todoroki shut the car door and then walked around to stand in front of it, the headlights causing an unearthly glow around him. "I missed you as well." The two stared each other down. "I don't want to do this."

Deku shrugged his shoulders. "You're not giving me much of an option." He held up a finger and wagged it, shaming Todoroki like a child. "Trying to take Ochako and hide her away from me. What kind of friend does that? You're supposed to be supportive of our relationship."

And Todoroki had been supportive, more than anything. She could see him struggling now. It was a battle in itself facing Deku when he was like this. Seeing him again made Uraraka want to scream. She both wanted to jump out of the car and run to him and also get into the driver's seat and drive away. The two desires clashed so painfully that she ended up doing neither one of them.

"I'm protecting her," Todoroki said. "It's what you would've wanted."

The smile was dashed away from Deku's face, replaced by a horrible shadow as he clenched his fists and prepared himself for a fight. She'd seen that stance more than a hundred times. Before it had inspired her and let her know that everything was going to be alright. Now it instilled fear in her heart. "What I want," Deku began in a growl before raising his voice into a shout, "is Ochako and for you to leave us the hell alone! I want us to be happy!"

"You think she's happy that you're like this now?" Todoroki countered angrily, fissures appearing in his composure.

"She will be, she will be," Deku promised. Uraraka sunk into the backseat. She would never be happy seeing Deku like this. She wanted him back to normal. She wanted him home. The thought that she would rather him be still dead than become this devastated her. "They promised me that they would let her live, but I've got to cover my bases. She won't be fully safe unless she's at my side. I'm being the logical one here, Shoto. You all are putting her in danger. I'm trying to keep her alive."

"You're not making any sense," Todoroki told him. "You think she'd be safe around villains?"

"Well she's not safe around you or Kacchan," Deku scoffed, like it was obvious. "You two have to be killed. Orders are orders."

Todoroki slid his feet into a fighting stance. The time for talking was coming to an end. He'd done what he could to keep Deku talking for as long as possible. An easier feat than expected, seeing as how Deku still had a habit of going off on tangents and getting lost in his head. "Do you do everything you're told?"

Deku grabbed part of his mask hanging around his neck and said, "Only when they line up with what I want and, well, I should at least thank you for bringing her to me. You were always a good friend." He put on only the bottom half of his mask, locking it into place over his mouth, jaw, and nose. It made him look demonic with the red and green stitching against the black like a terrible grin. It made it so that his eyes glowed like lights and his hair stuck out on end.

Green lightning glowed from Deku's position as he launched himself forward faster than the light itself. Todoroki countered with an explosion of flames as large as the surrounding buildings, which he fluidly followed with an immense wall of ice to his left that blocked but was destroyed by Dabi's blue flames just as big as his orange ones. The result left the whole area shaking like an earthquake, windows shattering and the car rumbling dangerously. Uraraka had never seen anything like it before and she'd seen Todoroki's fights up close multiple times. This was something different though. This was on a level that very few could understand.

When the smoke cleared, Todoroki was gone from the front of the car, using the ice half of his quirk to skate along the walls of a building and counter Dabi's flames with his own. Deku slammed into the ice just a hair behind Todoroki, but it knocked him off balance and he fell to the ground. He rolled when he landed to minimize damage and then popped up to engage with another villain she didn't recognize. He snatched the villain with his left hand and ignited his flames, while he shifted his right foot and ice burst from him, coating the street and shooting up a wall of ice spikes towards Deku, who was standing in the hole of a building he'd just created. The one villain couldn't avoid Todoroki's flames, but Deku smashed through the ice and leaped to attack Todoroki from behind.

It was too much. Todoroki could've handled Deku on his own perhaps, but not like this. The other villains weren't on their level by a long shot, with Dabi as the exception, but they were distractions and that was just enough to give Deku the upperhand.

Todoroki threw the villain he had a hold of like a sandbag at Deku. Despite being on the same team, Deku knocked the villain out of his way so hard that his body flew towards the car and smashed into it, nearly knocking them on the side. When Tsu glanced down at him, she shook her head. He wasn't moving; Uraraka didn't think he would any time soon or at all. It had given Todoroki enough time to dodge Deku, using his ice to skate away again. Dabi used his quirk to force Todoroki to change course, putting him right in the way of a villain who began to crackle with a wild amount of electricity. Todoroki clapped his hands together just as an electric shock surged towards him, the combination of his quirks resulting in an huge burst of steam and smoke that covered the entire area.

Uraraka watched as green and red lightning streaked through the smoke, Deku's quirk a beacon of light and fear. "Are you hiding, Shoto?" Deku's disembodied voice demanded. "That's not like you!"

It wasn't. Todoroki was being overwhelmed and they all knew it. If he was hit even once, it would spell only doom for him. He was also using his quirk at near maximum every single time. They were forcing him to, pushing him to the brink of his quirk. Dabi only used his flames at their maximum temperature and Deku wasn't fooling around with only fifteen or twenty percent of his power. They were going to bring Todoroki to the edge of his limit and force him to lose control.

A shadow caught Uraraka's attention and she latched onto it as the smoke cleared around them. It was Todoroki. He was breathing heavily and had a hand on his side. His shirt looked singed. He must have been struck by part of the villain's electricity before being able to create the steam and dodge. Still, he didn't look even close to giving up, the resolve etched onto his face. One villain was already down.

 _He's going to fight until they kill him,_ Uraraka realized.

Todoroki let off another explosion of fire so bright that it blinded everyone and followed it with a slick of ice that erupted from the ground like a volcanic explosion underneath two of the villains' feet. The ice threw them in the air and caught them midway, encasing them within a wall of ice that was almost three meters thick so that there was no way they could move or get out. It was incredible, but left him no time to properly dodge Dabi's attack. Todoroki threw up a smaller wall of ice as he fell backwards, but Dabi's fire broke through it so hard that it knocked Todoroki off his feet and into the side of a building with enough force to knock someone unconscious.

It didn't him though, but it came close. Todoroki crumpled onto his hands and knees, gasping for air, as Deku casually walked up to him and pulled his mark down to hang around his neck, red light crackling around his right arm. Todoroki swung up his left arm, fire coming out even as he struggled to breathe, but Deku knocked his arm away and the flames died, reminding Uraraka of that moment they had come head-to-head in the cavalry battle their first sports festival. Snatching Todoroki by the front of his shirt, Deku slammed him against the wall, hard enough to break bones and a pained shout slipped out of Todoroki.

"No!" Uraraka screamed in the car, jerking the handle to kick the car door open.

"Ochako, you can't!" Tsu shouted, using her tongue to wrap around Uraraka and jerk her back.

Without thinking, Uraraka touched Tsu's tongue and activated her quirk. Tsu floated to the ceiling and, taken off guard, loosened her grip on Uraraka enough so that she could slip out of it and throw herself out of the car. "Stop it, Deku!"

Everyone stilled in the wake of her scream, the only movement coming from the smoke of Dabi's fire and the steam created when it had hit Todoroki's ice. Uraraka was practically shaking, whether from anger or fear, she wasn't for sure. All she knew was that she couldn't stand to see Todoroki hurt anymore. She couldn't watch as Deku hurt his best friend. She couldn't take it. She was a hero, damnit. She wasn't going to just hide in a car while she watched one of her closest friends die by the hands of the boy she loved.

Deku spun towards her slowly, like he was in a daze. His eyes, so empty and dead as he had fought, began to light up again once they landed on her. A smile even appeared, so dazzling it was like he standing in front of the sun and couldn't look away. As if he didn't even realize what he was doing, he let go of Todoroki, who fell face first into the ground without trying to soften his landing, and turned to face her completely.

"Ochako," Deku said softly, as if seeing her had taken his breath away and not the fight. "I knew you would come to me. They didn't believe me. But I knew you wouldn't let Shoto die on his own."

"Please," Uraraka begged, unable to move towards him. She couldn't move, as if her ankles had been frozen in place by Todoroki's ice. Deku had to see reason - he had to - she couldn't believe that he would go through with killing someone he'd loved before. "Don't do this, Deku. He's your best friend! Please!"

Deku blinked at her innocently. "I'd really rather not." He glanced back down at Todoroki's prone body, a slight frown on his face, like he was disappointed but there was nothing to be done about it. He didn't want to kill Todoroki, but he would because it had been deemed necessary. "I know he thinks that he's doing what's best, but he's not. Even then, he's too big of a risk for the League. Better to take him out early."

Uraraka forced all her tension into her fists to the point where her fingers ached. "I can't let you do that."

"Oh, Ochako," Deku sighed with a sad smile on his face. "I admire your strength - I always have - but what can you do that Shoto can't?"

"I don't know," Uraraka admitted.

Before he could respond, she took off running, directly for electricity villain, who seemed startled that she had targeted him instead of Deku though not displeased. A nasty grin split across his face as he aimed a hand at her and shot off a lighting bolt. Distantly, she heard Deku scream and maybe even Tsu too, but Uraraka ignored them both. She activated her quirk on herself and jumped, clearing the lightning like it was nothing, and then released it so that she slammed her foot right into the villain's chest. It knocked him to the ground and she followed him down and grabbed his arm, reactivating her quirk, and launched him with all her might, quickly releasing it again so that he slammed into a building with all his weight.

Even though it pissed her off sometimes, it came in handy when villains underestimated her. She might not be as powerful as Todoroki, Bakugou, or Deku and she might not have a quirk best suited for combat, but she knew how to fight and she would do so until the bitter end. She would never give up, not until she was out for the count.

However, a large ball of Dabi's blue flames from behind caught her off guard and she reacted too late. She spun around, moving to activate her quirk on herself again and try to leap out of the way, when something wrapped around her waist and jerked her out of the way of the flames so fast that it took her breath away. One second she had been staring wide-eyed into the flames and the next she found herself underneath a streetlamp, dazed and confused. For a brief second, she thought that Tsu had pulled her out of the way, but then familiar strong arms pulled away from her and she turned back around to look at who had saved her.

It was _Deku_.

She could feel the power of his quirk surging through his body, red and green light crackling in the air around them both. He was breathing heavily, a bit of sweat on his forehead, and there was a bit of smoke seeping out of the back of his uniform where the flames must have grazed him. His hair hung in his face so that she couldn't see his eyes and while his grip had loosened on her he hadn't let go, as if he didn't dare in fear that she'd fade away.

"Don't," Deku panted low under his breath, "don't do that."

Tentatively, scared that he might react poorly, Uraraka went to touch his face, but he snatched her by the wrist, much more careful this time. It still stung because of the bruises and she flinched. His eyes moved to where he was holding onto her and his face twisted into a pained one when he saw the bruises that he'd left. He bit his lip and rubbed a gentle thumb over them, like he could wash them away.

"Kacchan wasn't lying," he murmured to himself. Uraraka didn't dare say anything, worried that if she so much as breathed Bakugou's name, that terrifying jealous Deku would replace this tender one. "I'm sorry, Ochako. I'm not used to having to hold back anymore." He looked her in the eyes, deadly serious and filled with regret. "I'll make it up to you."

"Then don't do this," Uraraka pleaded. "Don't hurt your friends."

"Come with me," Deku said, almost sounding just as desperate as her.

"I can't do that," Uraraka told him in barely a whisper.

Instead of getting angry like Uraraka had expected, Deku only nodded his head and let go of her completely. "You're not ready yet. I understand." It wasn't that. She would never be ready for what Deku wanted. Even if she told him that though, she didn't think he'd believe her right now. "But I can't do what you want either."

"Boss?" Dabi drawled, not bothering to hide his sarcasm.

Whatever softness that Deku was allowing to bleed out vanished in an instant. "Stay here," he told her, his voice so harsh that Uraraka could only nod her head. He jerked upright and snapped into the direction of Dabi, eyes glaring so viciously that they glowed. He looked and sounded like a completely different person from just seconds ago. "I'll deal with you later." The promise and heat in his voice made Uraraka want to shiver, even though it was directed at someone she loathed. "You try to hurt her again like that and I'll break you in half, Dabi, I swear."

Dabi shrugged his shoulders. "She was attacking. I responded out of instinct."

"You're lucky I don't kill you now," Deku snapped as he stomped in the direction of Todoroki, who was shakily pushing himself up with Tsu's help. Uraraka begged in her mind for them to get away. "I'm sorry you had to get involved in this, Tsu." There wasn't a hint of regret in his voice. There was nothing. He kept on walking towards them, getting stronger with every step he took. "If you step aside and return to Ochako, I'll spare you."

Tsu tightened her grip on Todoroki while he tried to push her away and grumbled, "G-Get out of here, Tsuyu." Despite the fear very evident on her face, Tsu shook her head and continued to help him. Uraraka felt paralyzed. She had to get up. She had to save them.

Deku tilted his head back and huffed. "You're making things much more difficult than they have to be." Even though he had told her to stay put (did he think he could scare her into listening?), Uraraka finally managed to convince her body to work and she scrambled to her feet. Deku must have heard her or expected her to disobey him because he snapped his fingers and pointed back at her without even looking. "Restrain her, please, anddo not harm her or you'll find out what it's like to have every single bone in your body broken."

Before she could react, a villain they hadn't seen phased out of the ground like the concrete was nothing but sand and snatched her by the arms so that she couldn't touch him. He knocked her legs out from underneath her before she could stomp on his foot and pressed her into the ground with a knee against her back. She would've been able to fight back if he hadn't activated his quirk and sunk her partially into the ground, leaving her to only watch in horror as Deku stopped in front of her friends.

"Dek-" Her shout was cut off short by the villain slapping a hand over her mouth.

Tsu held onto Todoroki and looked up into Deku's face. "Why are you doing this, Midoriya? This isn't you."

Deku bent down into a crouch so that he could gaze at them face-to-face and said, "You have no idea who I am. You never did. None of you."

"You were our friend," Tsu told him.

"Friends don't leave friends to die," Deku simply replied.

"W-we searched for y-you for weeks on end," Todoroki managed to ground out through the pain, his hands pressed against the sidewalk to hold himself up. How many bones had been broken? Fire licked the ground from his left hand while ice splintered from his right. "We did everything we could."

Deku considered them for a moment. "Maybe so. It wasn't good enough. You were too weak."

With a speed that they all knew wasn't even his top, he abruptly knocked Tsu to the side. She would've crashed into a parked car had she not been able to wrap her tongue around a pole and stop herself. Deku snagged Todoroki by his neck while Todoroki wrapped his hands around Deku's wrist and they both fell into a staring match.

Todoroki panted, as if he couldn't suck in enough air. "Don't make me do it, Izuku."

"Do what?" Deku asked, a smile curling onto his face. "I'm stronger than you - more than you'll ever know. It's sad. We made a great team, but you were never on my level."

Both of them moved to activate their quirks at the same time. Deku lifted Todoroki in the air by his neck with one hand while flames and ice wrapped around Deku's wrist, both ready to explode-

And then everything just went out like a light.

Deku blinked in surprise and squeezed Todoroki's neck almost experimentally, but whatever he'd wanted to happen didn't. He caught sight of the white bands shooting towards him at the last second, dropping Todoroki like a sack of potatoes and leaping out of the way just in time to avoid being caught. In the place where he'd stood just moments ago was Aizawa, his hair out of his face and his goggles on. With the pro hero Eraserhead now at his side, Todoroki pulled himself to his feet. He rubbed his throat with his right hand while flames appeared in his left.

"I figured you would call for backup," Deku said, "though I can't say that I'm not disappointed. I wanted this to stay between us."

"They're not the only ones," Todoroki told him.

Before Deku could respond, there was a series of loud explosions and Bakugou came barreling out of nowhere, using his quirk to fly at a high power speed, and screaming, "Get your hands off of her!" The villain holding onto her tried to escape, but one of Bakugou's outstretched hands grasped him by the face and he let out of a violent explosion that ripped both the villain and Uraraka out of the sand-like ground. All three of them went flying, but Uraraka activated her quirk on herself so that she didn't hit the ground and landed on her feet on the side of a building. Bakugou pushed through, still holding onto the villain and firing off explosions.

When they finally dropped to the ground, Bakugou landing on his feet and the villain with a thud, his red eyes swung from Uraraka to Deku, wild with rage. Uraraka kicked off from her spot on the wall and landed next to Bakugou, deactivating her quirk so that she'd stay on the ground.

Iida appeared at her side as well, skidding to a halt as he let his engines die. "Sorry it took us so long."

"You got here just in time," Uraraka told him. "That's all that matters."

Bakugou said nothing, just glared at Deku, who stared him down right back with an equally murderous gaze, both of them standing completely still. One thing Uraraka spotted though was that Deku's right fingers were beginning to twitch at his side, tapping against his leg in an erratic manner that he didn't seem to notice.

"Midoriya!" Dabi shouted warningly.

"I know!" Deku snapped, still not looking away from Bakugou. Finally, he took a deep breath and shook his head, his hair flopping in the wind. "This is a little too crowded for my taste." He glanced at Todoroki. "It was nice seeing you. I'm kind of glad you aren't dead yet." He turned back around and pointed a finger at Bakugou. It was shaking, as if it was taking everything in his power not to go ballistic and outright attack. His eyes kept flickering from Bakugou to Uraraka. "I'm stronger than you, Kacchan. Remember that. It'll be a pleasure killing you."

A warp gate appeared behind him, startling everyone.

"Kurogiri!" Iida shouted.

It had been so many years since he had been seen that everyone had thought he'd died. They all looked around, but only saw the gate and not his actual form. Aizawa had to see him and not just one of his warp gates in order to cancel out his quirk. Midnight, who had been hanging back, tore open the sleeve of her shirt to release her sleep inducing fumes, but then Dabi's flames blew them away. Bakugou shot forward with a roar, but it was too late. It was only a matter of seconds, but when the fire and fog cleared, the warp gate was gone, along with Deku and Dabi.

Bakugou's scream of "Damnit!" echoed through the streets, but other than that, no one moved, too shell-shocked over what had just transpired. It was only when Todoroki let his flames die and collapsed to one knee that people snapped out of it. Uraraka rushed over to him, even though Aizawa was already there to help him back up. She reached out to cup his face in her hands, feeling the ice splotches on his right side while his left was flushed and hot. It felt like she was the only thing holding him up.

"I told you to stay in the car," Todoroki huffed, clearly struggling to talk. He had one arm wrapped around his chest while the other hung limply at his side.

"And I told you that I wouldn't if things looked bad," Uraraka countered fiercely, tears forming in her eyes. He was standing, but he looked so rough. His feet shifted underneath him as he struggled to stay upright. "I'm a hero and I'm not going to let anyone else die for me. Got it?"

Todoroki hung his head, nodding it ever so slightly, and then slumped forward. He would've toppled on top of her had Aizawa not grabbed him from behind. "I've got him," Aizawa told her, looking more tired than she'd ever seen him despite the fact that he'd barely done any fighting. It was the type of exhaustion that came from grief. It was hard enough for Uraraka to see Deku like this; for Aizawa to know that his lessons were being put to use like this must have stung bitterly. "We'll take him to Recovery Girl."

With Present Mic's help, Aizawa all but carried Todoroki to their vehicle, leaving Uraraka standing by herself in the middle of the street. She looked around the area, taking in the damage. Almost all of it had been caused by Deku and Dabi, but there was still the large wall of ice that had captured two surviving villains, who Cementoss and Thirteen were slowly excavating. Midnight was taking care of the villain's body that was crumpled up against the side of Todoroki's car. Iida was checking over Tsu, who was bruised from Deku's hit but looked more annoyed by Iida's fussing than anything.

"What were you thinking, Round Face? Getting in the middle of the fight like that."

Uraraka turned and found Bakugou standing very close to her. The sleeve of his right shirt was torn and burnt from letting off multiple large explosions. She could ask him the same thing, considering she knew that he had two broken ribs and had still thought it was a good idea to launch himself like a missile at a villain. "I was thinking that I didn't want Todoroki to die."

"Deku could've hurt you," Bakugou said.

"He saved me," Uraraka shot back. Her words took Bakugou off guard for only a second, but it was enough to bleed the fight right out of her. She didn't have the energy to argue with Bakugou right now. She felt about as exhausted as Aizawa looked. Her head dropped and her shoulders slumped. "I would've been hit by Dabi's flames if Deku hadn't pulled me out of the way." She grimaced. "I wouldn't want to be Dabi right now. Deku was not happy."

Still, out of everyone that had been involved in the fight, Uraraka was the only one completely uninjured. When the one villain had restrained her, he hadn't actually hurt her, lest he wanted to suffer Deku's wrath. Turned out it hadn't mattered since he'd suffered Bakugou's in the end. Deku had even managed to get burned by Dabi when he had saved her. And the way he'd rubbed her wrist so gently, the regret in his voice so genuine… It reminded her painfully of those nights after a battle with a villain when Deku would count her bruises and kiss them.

He was in there. Her Deku was still in there.

It was way too much to take in for one night. Deku was still there, but he had tried to kill not one, but two of her friends, and he'd more or less declared war on Bakugou. Not to mention she'd barely slept these past two days. Uraraka's head fell forward against Bakugou's chest. She wasn't expecting him to do anything, but he wrapped a single arm around her loosely and pulled her against him. There were no tears from her this time. She only took a few deep shuddering breaths, taking in Bakugou's specific scent of nitroglycerin sweat and smoke.

"C'mon, let's get out of here," Bakugou said gruffly, pulling her towards his car where Kirishima was waiting. She glanced back at the destruction as others began to arrive. The police, reporters, a few civilians. Present Mic and Midnight were handling them now. A few turned to look her and Bakugou's way, but his scowl must have made them change their minds about approaching them. She was far too grateful. There was no way that she could face any questions right now. If the public found out that Deku had turned into a villain..

No, she couldn't think about that right now. It would happen eventually, especially since he'd admitted to being behind the prison break, but Uraraka wanted to keep the public's memory of Deku pure for just one more night.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes:** This is kind of like the eye of the storm chapter. Things are quiet, but only for a moment. Todoroki and Bakugou's interactions are so interesting to write in this.

* * *

Silence rested over everyone in the car like a heavy blanket as they drove the rest of the way to UA. Even the normally talkative Iida and cheerful Kirishima had either nothing to say or were too wary to say anything at all. Despite them being in Bakugou's car, Kirishima was driving with Iida in the passenger seat. That left Uraraka, Bakugou, and Tsu in the back. It wouldn't have been too uncomfortable if Bakugou hadn't been radiating anger, his entire body stiff, even his thigh pressed against hers, but honestly Uraraka was too worn down to let it bother her.

He was mad that Deku had gotten away from him not once but twice tonight and for all their careful planning Deku had still managed to get close to Uraraka. Very close. She could still remember the way it felt to be pressed back into him as he'd held her tightly and the way his thumb had caressed the bruise on her wrist. If they had been alone, he might have even gently kissed them as he had before. Her heart lurched at the thought. The kiss from the other morning still burned in her memory.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Uraraka murmured to Tsu.

Her friend nodded her head. "A little bruised, but nothing broken. He didn't use anywhere near his full strength to hit me."

"Do you think…?" Uraraka bit her lip. "Do you think he held back on purpose? So that you wouldn't be hurt as much?"

Tsu considered it for a moment and then shook her head. "I don't think I mattered much to him, at least in that moment, or that he didn't believe I was strong enough to require more than that." It was a sad thing to think, considering how Deku had always built them up and believed in their strength and abilities as heroes. Even worse considering how close he had been with Tsu. "Compared to how he fought with Todoroki, I was a fly."

Uraraka definitely didn't think that of Tsu, but fighting with Deku now that he had control over his quirk was so much different than how it had been when they were in school. He could destroy this entire city if he wanted. It was terrifying. If it came to that, she didn't know what they would do or if there was anything they could.

Well, there was one thing that might stop him, but Bakugou would spontaneously combust if someone so much as hinted at it. Uraraka herself didn't know how she would react in that case. But she couldn't allow innocent people to die, especially not for her or if she could stop it. Sacrifices had to be made every day, especially in a hero's life.

Upon reaching UA and sliding out of the car, Uraraka noticed Bakugou wince almost imperceptibly, but when she put a hand on his arm and gave him a look of concern, he shrugged her off. Hurt flashed across her face and he caught it before she could get rid of it. He let out an aggravated huff and his face didn't soften in the slightest, but he cupped her chin in one of his calloused hands and nodded his head, somehow letting her know with those two very brief actions that he was fine and appreciated her checking on him. All too quickly, the moment was over and he pulled his hand away, so fast it was like it never happened.

She might have questioned it more had she not spotted the skeletal frame of All Might walking towards them. As soon as they connected eyes and she saw the pure pain on his face, something inside of Uraraka shattered. Deku had been more than a protege or successor to All Might. In the end, he had very much become like a son. This was worse than losing a loved one. This was something that words could not truly capture.

Uraraka found herself running towards the former number one hero until she finally crashed into him, with a little too much force probably, but he latched onto her, his absurdly long, thin arms wrapping around her and his body folding over her like a piece of paper. He might have been much physically weaker than he had been before, but she wouldn't have known that he grew weaker by the day from the way he held onto her now. Just when she thought that she was fresh out, tears pricked at her eyes and began to rush down her face. She could feel splashes of water drip on top of her head as All Might allowed tears of his own to be shed. There was a time for strength and a time for grieving. They had thought it was the former, but they had been wrong.

Deku was still in there - she was certain - but watching him wrap a hand around Todoroki's throat sure made it seem like he was dead all over again.

"I'm so sorry, Uraraka, I'm so sorry," All Might mumbled against her, his body shaking so badly that she was surprised that she couldn't hear his bones rattling underneath his thin skin. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't any of their fault, she could hear Bakugou saying, but she recognised that All Might needed to get this out in the air. She was afraid that he believed that he might have had a hand in unleashing a monster; she didn't want him to think of Deku like that. It made the gaping wound in her heart weep further.

"We'll get him back," Uraraka promised as she clung to the back of his jacket.

There was so much left unsaid, so much that couldn't be said, but most of it didn't need to be. He didn't even know the half of it yet and she knew Deku's casual proclivity for violence towards his friends would cause a wound almost as damaging as the one that had taken him out of commission. He must have seen Todoroki being taken to see Recovery Girl. It was so much worse than it looked though. You had to see Deku in person to know just how horrific things were and she desperately did not want All Might to go through that.

Once they were guided inside, Uraraka found herself undeniably exhausted, but knew that the night wasn't over. She saw Aizawa watching her out of the corner of his eyes and knew that she would be questioned thoroughly before being allowed to sleep. Todoroki, Bakugou, and Tsu were being treated while Iida and Kirishima had only seen glimpses of Deku. She was the direct source, the centerpiece as far as Deku was concerned. They would have to hear it from her.

She wished Bakugou was here with her. Even if he had been over the top about her protection, he'd had her back. His solid presence had made her feel stronger. Now she felt sort of alone.

"Uraraka." Aizawa was at her side, a hand on her shoulder.

"I know." Uraraka wiped her face and lifted her head. They had to get this over with. Then she could get a bit of rest before they left for the safehouse. It was too dangerous to stay at UA, a place that Deku knew intimately and also housed students.

Despite this being the third time, it didn't make rehashing things any easier. Still, when she sat down to tell all her former teachers about Deku, none of them interrupted her. Midnight even held her hand in a calming manner. Uraraka couldn't feel anything though. She wasn't just running on empty; she was. It was like seeing Deku tonight had drained her of everything. Like he'd taken a part of her strength with him through that warp gate. It would come back eventually, but she was worn to the bone. After shedding tears with All Might, she couldn't manage any more to save her life.

When she was done, none of them spoke for a while. They seemed to realize that Uraraka was at the end of her rope and she was allowed to leave. They would talk it over amongst themselves. To be honest, she didn't think she could handle what they had to say right now. She didn't think they would be as...forgiving as her. Her only issue was that she didn't know where to go so she found herself walking to the nurse's office. It was all she could think to do. Her friends were probably there and she wanted to check on Todoroki.

Right before she opened the door, it swung open to reveal Bakugou. There were circles under his eyes, but he held himself straighter. Recovery Girl must have healed his broken ribs, but it had stolen whatever little adrenaline and stamina he had left after two confrontations with Deku. He didn't look surprised to see her here, but he didn't move either, as if he couldn't now that she was in his sight.

Seeing as how it didn't look like he was going to speak first, all Uraraka could think to say was, "I came to check on Todoroki."

Bakugou scoffed, but there was no heat in it. "Just him?"

Even though she could've sworn that she didn't have it in her, the tiniest of smiles found its way on her face and she gently punched him in the chest. He acted as if it hurt him, clutching at his sides, but she knew his ribs were healed. It made her feel a little better at least.

Without a word, Bakugou stepped to the side and allowed Uraraka the space to peek inside the room. She didn't go all the way in, keeping her spot in the doorway next to Bakugou. On one of the beds laid Todoroki, knocked out from his treatment by Recovery Girl. His wounds had been much more severe, especially since he'd pushed his quirk so hard. Likely he'd be out until the morning. It would aggravate him to no end.

"The idiot," Bakugou mumbled under his breath. "He held back."

Uraraka gave him a sharp look. "Are you kidding me?" Bakugou did not look like he was kidding even remotely. She couldn't believe him. "You weren't there. The fight was… It was massive."

But Bakugou simply shook his head. "There should have been a lot more destruction. He should have been able to last longer. He didn't land a single hit on either Deku or Dabi. Why? Because he held back."

The downright seriousness coming from Bakugou was what got her. She had expected him to be infuriated over something like this, steaming like a pot filled with boiling water, but there was only a hard edge to his tone and a begrudging expression on his face. No scowl, no glare.

"You held back too, didn't you?"

Now there was a scowl on his face, but it wasn't directed at her or Todoroki. It was towards himself. "I've never done that before." He held up his hands palms up and then formed them into fists. "I kept telling myself, the second I see him, I'm gonna blast him to high hell - and then he was right in front of me and I just…" He looked ready to punch a wall or blow something up. Maybe both. "He threatened to destroy my apartment building and kill everyone in it the second I went to make a move. He was so casual about it, but he wanted to do it. He was waiting for me to explode like usual."

"He knows us well," Uraraka murmured.

"He's one step ahead of us, just waiting for us to catch up to him and do what he wants," Bakugou growled, his fist now one of determination. "And next time I see him, I'm gonna give him exactly just that. He wants to kill me? He can go ahead and try. I'll show him strong."

Uraraka knew that trying to talk him out of something this mad right now was pointless. Instead she could only sigh and step back into the hallway so that he could shut the door. Todoroki was resting, so there was no sense in bothering him. Right now, all she could think about was rest. The last time she'd gotten a good night's sleep had been when she'd gone day drinking with Bakugou and he'd ended up carrying her to bed. Despite being stone cold sober, she felt just as out of it now.

"You look like hell," Bakugou told her.

Usually Uraraka snarked back at him when he said things like that, but at the moment, she kind of agreed with him. "I feel like it too."

"Let's get you to bed," Bakugou said, nudging her in the direction of where she guessed they were supposed to stay for the night. "I'm not carrying you again."

She thought one of the teachers might have told her, but she'd been so distracted by her mental and physical exhaustion that she couldn't remember. It was a good thing Bakugou had been paying more attention. All she could think about right now was a bed and the look on Deku's face when he'd saved her. It didn't match up at all with how Deku had looked when he'd told Bakugou that he was going to enjoy killing him.

Just the thought of Deku saying that in front of everyone stilled Uraraka's feet. "Bakugou." He stopped and turned around to face her, a faint questioning look on his face. "I'm scared."

Bakugou gazed at her and then simply said, "Then use that fear to fuel that fire because I can guarantee that you're gonna need it," before turning back and continuing down the hallway. All she could do was follow him and believe in her heart that she could do what he said. It was all any of them could do.

The room they finally entered had a few beds made up in it. Tsu, Iida, and Kirishima were already there. Tsu and Kirishima had been conversing quietly while Iida was on the phone with his back to them. As soon as Bakugou opened the door, the two facing towards the door waved them over and Bakugou and Uraraka made their way over to them.

"How's Todoroki?" Tsu immediately asked.

"Recovery Girl fixed him up," Uraraka told her.

Bakugou plopped down next to Kirishima. "He'll be fine by the morning. No need to worry over him."

The four of them fell into silence. Uraraka couldn't help but hear Iida talking on the phone. It sounded like he was on the phone with someone from their class, but she couldn't be for sure who. She figured it was either Momo or Kaminari, both who had the best resources at contacting people. One thing for sure was that he sounded like he was still carrying on well, powering through this whole thing, but she saw the way he kept clenching and unclenching his left hand. He'd had it fixed two years ago, but Uraraka remembered it as being the one that he'd injured while fighting Stain the Hero Killer alongside Deku and Todoroki.

Kirishima suddenly piped up. "I believed you, Uraraka, I did. But seeing Midoriya like that tonight…" He rubbed at his eyes. "What are we supposed to do?"

"He was scary," Tsu added. "It was like he was playing with Todoroki."

Bakugou folded his arms across his chest. "He wouldn't have been playing had Icy Hot gone all out like he was supposed to." Tsu shot Bakugou a look, which he ignored, but said nothing. She had seen the way Todoroki had fought against the villains. To them, it had looked like nothing short of a miracle that he was still alive. Then again, now that Uraraka thought about it, she had seen Todoroki cause much more damage before. Had he held back because he had been concerned about collateral damage or because it was Deku?

What was it that Todoroki had said right before Aizawa had shown up and cancelled both their quirks?

" _Don't make me do it, Izuku."_

What had they expected? None of them wanted to truly fight Deku and not just because he was insanely powerful. Just as he had been at school, he wasn't giving them a choice, forcing them to come at him with their all. She was afraid that it still wouldn't be good enough. This wasn't some lesson that would help better them as heroes in the future. It was a hard punch in the gut that made their knees buckles and took their breath away.

He used to do that for her before. In the morning as he left for work, the door open and the sun shining on him, his green hair an utter mess no matter what he did, the smattering of freckles on his face that would never leave, and that big beam on his face that told her everything was going to be alright. She had loved him so much in those little moments. A part of her still wanted to love him now. They all did, in their own way, even Bakugou, who might not have liked Deku, but had done everything he could to save her as Deku would have wanted.

They didn't want to do this. None of them. But they had to. He left them no choice.

* * *

Uraraka watched with thinly veiled frustration as Momo and Hatsume went about their business throughout the safehouse. As far as safehouses were concerned, it could've been cleaner, but Uraraka wasn't certain that Aizawa didn't use this place to hide off the grid and just sleep. It had little in the way of defenses or surveillance systems, which was where the two other girls came in handy. The sort of tech needed was Hatsume's style and Momo alone outside of Kaminari was able to help her.

All in all, it made Uraraka feel like she was being babysat, which she loathed.

Hatsume dropped down onto the couch next to her, ignoring the way it sank uncomfortably to the middle. It was probably older than them. "All done. I don't sell this kind tech very often, so it's good to be of service. Everyone is so focused on the offensive these days."

Though none of the same equipment, it reminded Uraraka of the tech they'd used during the cavalry battle at their first Sports Festival. They'd used defensive stuff then, like the jetpack and blasters on her boots. As a pro hero, those blasters were an integral part of her costume, allowing her to navigate the air whenever she used her quirk on herself. It had come in handy so many times. Hatsume always updated them for free, claiming that Uravity wearing her gear gave her enough commissions just from the publicity.

Still, it made Uraraka nervous, Hatsume leaving her obvious mark on the safehouse. If Deku found the place (and to be honest, she did not doubt he would somehow), he would know that Hatsume had had a hand in helping hide Uraraka away from him. It was a target on another friend's back, placed there because of her. All her friends were willing to risk their lives - that was what heroes did - but this was different and they all knew it. They would have had to fight Deku regardless if he was fixated on her or not, but this just made it worse.

"I'm sorry for dragging you into this, Hatsume," Uraraka said, staring down at her hands in her lap.

Hatsume smiled softly. "I would have dragged my own butt into it eventually. You know how nosy I am."

She wasn't flippant in the way that Todoroki had been. Uraraka knew that Hatsume was devastated by the news of what had become of Deku. He had done a lot to help her make a name for herself in the hero support world, always telling reporters about her new tech or pointing her tech out while on live television. That had been the kind of day-to-day hero that he was, the kind that went out of his way for his friends because he simply enjoyed it.

"I'm not sure how much good it will do," Hatsume sighed, "but it's better than nothing." She shook her head. "I can't believe that Aizawa used this as a _safe_ house. It's practically just bones."

"It has been a while since he's used it as one apparently," Uraraka pointed out, though why she felt the need to defend it or her former teacher, she had no idea. "It's pretty reclusive at least."

"It's shit," Bakugou interjected from his spot by the window.

Hatsume folded her arms across her chest. "Don't you go insulting my babies! I did what I could." Bakugou folded his arms and made a scoffing sound, but didn't say anything. They'd all seen her gear in action before and some of it was wild. Didn't mean he thought it would amount to much stacked up against Deku. "I bet you won't say that to Aizawa's face."

"I _did_ ," Bakugou threw back like a rock, "and I will again."

Before Uraraka could berate him for being so critical (she was certain that he would only be pleased if she was halfway across the world in a bunker), the door opened and Todoroki stepped inside. His movements seemed a tad more languid than usual, but other than that, he appeared absolutely normal, as if he hadn't been slammed hard into a wall twice or fought for his life.

Uraraka had only managed to say, "Todoroki, are you-?" before Bakugou cut in with, "He would be if he'd fucking done what he was told."

There wasn't a single reaction from Todoroki, as if he either hadn't heard Bakugou or it didn't affect him. He'd barely managed to shut the door before Bakugou rounded on him, grabbing him by the collar of his pro hero costume and slamming him against the door.

Both Hatsume and Uraraka jumped to their feet, the latter exclaiming, "Bakugou!"

But of course he didn't listen. Todoroki was freshly healed from his fight with Deku and here was Bakugou doing the same damn thing. It was slightly jarring. Even though the door made a banging sound, it wasn't anywhere near as hard as Deku had done to Todoroki. It wasn't enough to _hurt_ , just to get a point across and Bakugou looked like had a list of them.

"You fucking held back, you idiot," Bakugou snarled in his face. He was holding Todoroki against the door, but not pushing him into it. If Todoroki wanted, it wouldn't take much to knock Bakugou away, but he didn't. He stood there and took all of Bakugou's rage head on without so much as blinking. "You told me that you wouldn't let that bastard get close to her. He was close enough to where _he_ had to save her from getting deep-fried by Dabi!" His red eyes glared furiously into Todoroki's mismatched ones, but there wasn't hate in his eyes like there used to be. "I should've been there."

There was nothing but an impassive expression on Todoroki's face as he said, "Don't pretend that seeing him like that didn't affect you either."

Bakugou made a growling sound, but Uraraka knew that Todoroki was right since Bakugou had basically told her that he had froze as well. Seeing Deku like that had a polarizing effect on a person. It was so wrong that it almost seemed more reasonable to believe that he had an evil twin running around. She could see Deku in there, but then it wasn't, like she was looking at two people at the same time.

"I won't let that happen again," Bakugou swore.

"Neither will I," Todoroki said.

Bakugou narrowed his eyes. "You better make damn certain you don't because if Deku doesn't kill you I will." He let go of Todoroki's shirt and took a step back. "We can't afford to be weak or fight halfheartedly when he's going to come at us with everything."

"He hasn't already?" Momo asked as she stepped into the room, her worried gaze landing on Todoroki.

"Not by a longshot," Bakugou said. His eyes swept over them until they landed on Uraraka. For once, she couldn't read what was in them. Was it fear? Anticipation? She couldn't be for certain. He turned away from her and opened the front door to walk out. "We'll know when he does. It's going to be ugly. And I, for one, am not going to stand by and let him get away with it. I don't care what's wrong with his head. It'll still be done by his hands."

The door slamming shut echoed in Uraraka's ears for at least three seconds, matching the loud beat of her heart. None of them spoke, if only because they knew he was right. Momo and Hatsume looked a little less sure, but they hadn't seen Deku in action. Even Uraraka had questioned it before seeing Deku fight Todoroki. She'd thought that she knew what was happening, but a small part of her had kept whispering that it couldn't be that bad. Deku couldn't be evil. The second it came to fighting one of his best friends, surely he'd snap out of it.

But he hadn't. As he had done everything before, Deku went in with all his heart. A part of her was worried that he hadn't killed Todoroki because he _wanted_ to fight him again.

"Someone's got a stick up their ass," Hatsume grumbled.

"He's right," Todoroki sighed, looking down at his feet. "I did hesitate. I told myself I wouldn't - that I would use everything in me to keep Deku from Uraraka - but I couldn't do it."

Momo laid a hand on his arm. "That's not your fault. Any of us would have reacted that way."

"We can't do that anymore," Todoroki insisted. "We're not children. We're pro heroes and they do not hesitate in combat."

"I doubt pro heroes have to fight their formerly dead friends," Hatsume offered.

They were all valid points. Even now, if faced with Deku on her own, Uraraka wasn't sure if she could take him on full throttle. She didn't have the kind of quirk like Todoroki, Bakugou, or Deku did. Her quirk couldn't easily kill just as much as it could save. When they fought, they had to consider their quirk a little more carefully, so as to make sure that they didn't take a life. They had been taught to refrain alongside strengthening their quirk.

When Todoroki turned to Uraraka and gave her a brief bow, she blinked at him in surprise. But his words, "I'm sorry for failing you," had her raising both her eyebrows.

"Todoroki, you did nothing of the kind," Uraraka told him.

His eyes were tired and sad when he gazed at her, the eyes of someone who had lost a friend. She'd seen him wear them before; it upset her now just as much. "It was harder than I anticipated, seeing him, and I expect it will only get worse. If the League told him to take Bakugou and I out of the way, that means they're planning something. I let my personal feelings get in the way of our objective."

Knowing that this was a battle she could not win, Uraraka nodded her head. "Just don't let it happen again." She put on a brave smile. He needed it. They all did. Everyone was acting like she might break at any minute, but right now, she was tired of that. She had to take care of the others too. "I won't always be there to jump in and save you."

"A shame," Todoroki replied, "I expect such things of Uravity."

It wasn't nearly enough to bridge the pain they shared. Uraraka knew that it would be a long time before Todoroki admitted just how much he'd been hurt by Deku. Not by his fists, but by his words and behavior. His grief would turn to fuel later on, but for now, he was forcing himself to hang in the middle of a fog, as if he could block out everything he felt. She could understand that. Sometimes you had to push your emotions away to get the job done. Hadn't she done that back in the day about her feelings for Deku? They'd been such kids then, even if they had been forced to deal with horrific things.

She hadn't known that those feelings would eventually lead her to this. She wasn't quite sure what she would have done had she known. The mere thought of giving up the many beautiful memories she'd shared with Deku made her terribly sad. She didn't want to give those up or have them replaced by the Deku of now.


	9. Chapter 9

She wakes up to the sound of wood creaking and an aching back. The bed isn't that comfortable, which has led her to believe that Aizawa probably still slept in his sleeping bag out here if he used this as a place to nap. It's still night, but she's alert enough to know that she isn't going to fall back asleep any time soon. Instead, she stretches in the bed, raising her arms far enough to brush against the wall, and then sits up.

It's awfully silent. She assumes that at least one person is awake standing guard, but she can't hear anything. There has to be someone out there or she wouldn't have heard the wood. You couldn't step foot in this house without it making some sort of sound right back at you. Outside she can hear bugs chirping and the wind gently blowing through the trees, but that's it.

Throwing the blanket off, she swings her legs over to the side of the bed and stands up. The floor immediately protests her weight, but she ignores it as she pads over to the door. She's not quite sure why she's tiptoeing, seeing as how she was the only one supposed to be sleeping, but when she presses her ear against the door, she hears absolutely nothing. She pulls away and frowns. Maybe they're outside doing perimeter checks?

Then she hears it: the wood creaking and something else… A squelching sound? She can't make it out, not with a door in between her and the other room. Even if she doesn't know what it is, it makes her stomach twist uncomfortably.

Slowly, in an attempt to make as little noise as possible, she twists the doorknob and pushes the door open, only to find that it is completely dark in the rest of the house. The only light shining inside comes from the moon glowing through the windows. She blinks in confusion at the sight. Hadn't they made it a rule to keep the blinds closed? Besides, where is everyone? Why are they so quiet? Did they fall asleep? Did they leave?

"Hello?" she whispers.

The darkness seems to swallow her voice and no one answers her.

Stepping further outside of the bedroom, she makes her way through the house. Nothing else makes a sound. She's very much alone. Her heart begins to race wildly in her chest. Had they been called away? Had something so awful happened that they needed everyone to deal with it? That didn't make any sense though. No one had come to wake her up. Even if they didn't want her to come, they would've told her before leaving.

The first thing that she sees in the living room is Aizawa's bright yellow sleeping bag in the middle of the room. She lets out a sigh of relief. She's not alone. Her former homeroom teacher just fell asleep while on watch. Kind of odd, considering how serious he is about his job and protecting people, but this has been an exhausting few days. Even she passed out.

"Sir?" she calls out. Nothing. "Aizawa?" No response. Maybe because she used his real name. "Eraserhead?"

He doesn't stir, but then again, he is a heavy sleeper. She bends down to his level and reaches out to him, pulling on his shoulder to wake him up, but instead he rolls over easily towards her. A scream almost tears out of her throat, but she throws her hands up to her mouth at the last minute. Aizawa's eyes are wide open and unseeing, his goggles broken around his neck, which has turned red and purple. She staggers away from the body, scrambling to her feet even as her knees threaten to give out.

He's dead. She tries not to panic. He's dead. She's going to panic.

But that begs the question: what about the others?

Her head turns and she spots a figure slumped against the wall, their head resting against their chest and long green hair hiding their face. Tsu, it's Tsu. She rushes over to her friend, but when she gets close enough to check her pulse, she finds nothing. When she lifts Tsu's head, she finds blood covering half her face. She jerks her hands away, gasping for air as she struggles to make sense of everything. Tears burn her eyes and her body shakes. This can't be happening. It can't be.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she sees him. There, lying by the slightly ajar door, his left foot hanging out of it. It's Bakugou. She crawls over towards him, unable to pull herself to her feet, and tears are dripping onto the floor and her hands with every step she takes. "No, no, no," she keeps mumbling to herself, praying that she's wrong. Let him be alive. Let at least one of them be alive.

The second she touches Bakugou's body, she knows that nothing is alright. He always runs so hot, like his quirk is simmering just underneath his skin, but he's cold to the touch. It feels wrong. When she reaches for his hands, she finds them practically dry, which is not normal. Even worse they're bruised and broken, like someone stomped on them repeatedly.

"Please, no," she pleads, even though she knows in her heart that it's no use. She rolls Bakugou over and his head lolls against her knees. There's blood everywhere, pouring from various stab wounds all over him, sliding onto her hands and legs. She starts crying in earnest because she knows it's her fault. She did this. She let this happen. She allowed herself a moment of rest and they died. She let her guard down. She didn't fight back hard enough. She brought them into this when she should've taken care of it herself.

Somehow, she drags herself to her feet, away from Bakugou's body, but his blood is all over her hands. She's struggling for air and her body is wobbling, but she can't look away. It's only when she feels arms wrap around her, one right underneath her breasts and another around her neck, that she freezes and the crying comes to an abrupt halt. There is the familiar feel of soft hair brushing the side of her face as someone rests their chin on her shoulder and takes a deep breath.

"Do you like it?" Deku murmurs in her ear. "Now we can be together."

She feels herself breaking. "D-Deku…"

"Now there's nothing holding you back to be with me," Deku continues. "To join us."

He moves the arm around her neck to grab her hand, both of theirs slick with Bakugou's blood, and he presses the hilt of a knife into her palm. She knows that he was the one to kill them, but for a second, as she looks down at the knife in their hands, it's as if she was the one that stabbed Bakugou. Like she did it indirectly. He was only here because of her, wasn't he? If he'd been somewhere else, he would be alive.

Deku kisses her on the cheek, so chaste and innocent. "You were wasted on them. I know you. I love you." He pulls away so that he can turn her around to face him. She still has the knife in her hand, tilted towards him, but she can't make a move, not with the way he's staring her in the eyes right now. His smile is so full of warmth and love, but his eyes are cold and dead. "Come home with me, Ochako."

* * *

Uraraka bolted up right in her the bed so fast that she got vertigo, a scream in her throat. When she tried to swallow it though, she choked on it and then began to gasp for air so hard that tears leaked from her eyes. The bed was so flimsy that it made a loud squeaking noise when she woke up and the headboard slammed against the wall. Tsu was at her side in an instant, hands on Uraraka's arms, soothing her as best as she could while Uraraka tried not to sob or scream. She couldn't be for certain what would come out if she tried to talk.

When the door was suddenly kicked open, both Uraraka and Tsu jumped and nearly screamed again, but it was just Bakugou of all people, mini explosions already blasting at his fingertips, shouting, "Where the fuck is he?" He must have heard the loud noise and come running in to make sure nothing bad was happening. It couldn't have been that loud, but maybe he had been walking to the bathroom.

"He's not here, Bakugou," Tsu sighed irritably. "Calm down."

Wiping the sweat off her forehead, Uraraka added, "I'm sorry. I-I had a nightmare."

Bakugou looked no less tense, but he straightened up and flexed his fingers to loosen up his hands. He eyed Uraraka suspiciously, but she just looked down at her hands. She kept picturing him lying dead on the ground, his blood all over her hands. His red eyes sightless and unable to see her tears. The red in them had looked faded. They had looked so wrong, no passion in them at all. It was hard for her to look him in the eyes now.

"Do you...want to talk about it?" Tsu asked tentatively.

"No, no, it's fine, really," Uraraka said, a smile on her face. It probably didn't look right since she still looked like a hot mess, but she was going to push through this if it was the last thing she did. She didn't want to tell Tsu that she had dreamed that Deku had killed her. The nightmare was still too vivid.

Bakugou was still looking at her with narrowed red eyes and a frown on his face. "Take a break, Asui."

Tsu blinked at him. "Ribbit?"

"You've been in here for a while. You should get some rest."

"But-"

"I just woke up, so I'm not going to back sleep any time soon," Bakugou interrupted, his flat tone not changing whatsoever. "I'll take over." He shot Tsu a sharp glare. "We can't afford you to be tired and sluggish because you didn't get proper rest if Deku shows up. I'm not carrying your ass in a fight."

Uraraka folded her arms across chest and mumbled, "I don't need a babysitter," but both Bakugou and Tsu ignored her. It seemed to be one of the few things they agreed on. Having them both in this safehouse at the same time was a terrible idea, as Tsu spoke her mind and Bakugou got everything across through insults and yells, but neither one of them were willing to leave for long.

"Alright," Tsu finally agreed. Uraraka smiled encouragingly at her and and Tsu squeezed her hand before leaving the room. It might have been the wrong way to say it, but she did agree that Tsu needed to get some rest. Ever since they had confronted Deku, she had been pushing herself, like she was trying to make up for not doing enough.

With Tsu gone, it left Bakugou and Uraraka in silence alone. Now that she thought about it, they hadn't been alone in a few days, not since the night they'd arrived at UA. The safehouse was remote, but despite being in the middle of nowhere, it had little room to give any sort of privacy. Outside of the two bedrooms and the bathroom, you could practically see the whole place. Bakugou didn't like it for tactical reasons, but then Aizawa had pointed out that it never been made to be a stronghold. Not like that mattered against Deku, who could break through concrete and steel reinforced walls with a single punch.

Bakugou moved to the window, peering out of the curtain sideways, and harrumphed. He wasn't going ballistic so he must have been appeased with what he saw. "Was it the dream?"

"Huh?" Uraraka stared at the back of his head for a moment before it clicked. "Oh. No, it wasn't. It was…" She really didn't want to talk about it and Bakugou wouldn't press her for more information if she didn't. "It was something different."

She could tell that a part of him wanted to ask more questions, but the rest of him either didn't think it was all that important or didn't care. He stayed silent, continuing his examination of the outside world. It made Uraraka itch. Every time she got so much as near a window everyone freaked out. Didn't they see it was pointless? If Deku or any villain connected with the League was out here, then they already knew who was inside. Now she really felt like she was locked away in a prison. This was so much worse than her apartment.

Crossing her legs under her, Uraraka pressed the palms of her hand on the bed and straightened her back, trying to stretch out her arms, anything to break the tension in her body. "I hate this." She glowered at the blankets, like it was their fault that she was here. "I hate this hiding, not doing anything, not knowing anything. I should be out there doing something. I'm a hero, not some hapless victim." None of her friends were exactly treating her like that, but they were all so protective of her. It was endearing, but also smothering now that she couldn't escape it. "I feel so useless stuck here."

"You don't think I feel the same way?" Bakugou questioned, turning back to face her. His eyes were like molten lava, glaring holes into her, but she swatted the feeling away.

"I know you do," Uraraka replied. "It's driving you up a wall, isn't it?"

Bakugou tightened and then relaxed his fists. "Fucking mad."

"We don't know anything about what's going on," Uraraka said angrily. "We don't know what Deku is up to or what he's doing. We don't know what the League of Villains is planning. We don't even know how they did this to him." She rubbed at her eyes, not because she was about to cry, but because just thinking these things made her head hurt, the pain throbbing behind her eyes. "We're running blindly in the dark, trying to catch a break. Why can't we be the ones to find him? It's always him finding us."

"It pisses me off," Bakugou said, his voice low and gravelly.

"Has there been any news?" Uraraka asked, almost begged. "Anything?"

After a moment of consideration, Bakugou sighed and shook his head, but not in the way to tell her 'no'. It was more like he didn't want to tell her because he knew she wouldn't like it, but Bakugou didn't half ass things. He wouldn't keep things from her because he was worried that it might upset her. Oh no. He was upfront about every single thing, even if he knew it would break her heart. That was just who he was. He'd been like that for as long as she'd known him.

"Four of the escaped prisoners were found dead in the past two days," Bakugou told her.

Uraraka frowned. If they were going by Deku's MO, then that fit him, but it didn't make sense that he would break them out only to kill them. Maybe they had pissed him off or something. Maybe after failing to kill Todoroki and not being able to get rid of Bakugou, Deku had gone off the handle. She'd seen the way his fingers were twitching and she hadn't known what to make of him. Had he been struggling to hold back or struggling to break free of whatever or whoever had a grip on his mind?

"Who were they?" Uraraka asked.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Bakugou pulled up the email and walked over to her. "They were killed the same way that we now know was one of Deku's confirmed villain kills, but they aren't sure if it's him or not. Could be dissent among the ranks. You know how fickle villains can be."

She took the phone from him and flicked through the pictures. They weren't pretty by a long shot. There was blood everywhere, seeing as how they'd been beaten severely. The same cause of death, but far more intense. It looked...personal. Like the killer had lost control and kept going even after they were dead. It made the villains (well, victims) impossible to recognize. However, because of the blood evidence, the authorities had been able to figure out who they were.

As soon as Uraraka read the names, it clicked for her. "It's him."

"How do you know?" Bakugou questioned.

"They were all my collars," Uraraka told him. She set the phone down on the bed. "This one" - she swiped to the third victim - "he managed to get a hit on me. I had a black eye for two weeks."

Bakugou looked mildly disappointed that she'd allowed any villain to hit her, but didn't comment on it. Instead, he focused on the pictures. "And the other three?"

"All difficult and rough," Uraraka said. "You know, the kind of fight where you come out scraped but in one piece."

"I don't have those," Bakugou replied flatly. She was not going to point out that Deku had broken two of his ribs a few days ago. It would only cause his hackles to raise and he'd get shitty. Already he was in a foul mood from not being allowed to hunt Deku down. Still, the prison Deku had destroyed had held the worst of the worst, so it stood that anyone locked in there had been pretty strong. Uraraka was confident in her abilities, but she wasn't perfect. Besides, she'd gotten them in the end, hadn't she? Sure, they'd been broken out, but now they were…

"Oh." Uraraka's heart dropped into her stomach. "He's doing it for me again, isn't he?"

"Another one of his weird love letters?" Bakugou quierred. "These were the only people you collared that were sent to this prison?" She nodded her head. "I guess he didn't want Uravity's good work to go to waste." He made a disgruntled noise in the back of his throat and pocketed his phone. "You told him about them?"

Uraraka fiddled with her fingers in her lap. "Well, I mean, yeah, it was a hard to avoid topic, especially when I came home sporting bruises and scratches. He always got so worked up over when I was hurt."

He had been kind like that. If she didn't have time to tend to her wounds at work, he would help her with them at home. Once, when she'd broken a rib, he'd helped her with the bandages every day. It had been sweet. She could remember them lying down in bed together, her reading and him napping, and then he'd woken up and kissed her gently right above her injured rib. It had tickled and left her breathless at the same time, but they hadn't been able to do much before she'd started wincing in pain.

Her eyes darted away from Bakugou's when she caught him watching her with a guarded expression. No way was she going to sit here thinking about things like that and Deku while he was right next to her. It was awkward, even if he didn't know what she was remembering. No doubt he was picturing Deku fussing over her all annoying-like. They had two very different images of Deku in their minds.

Bakugou looked away from her and scratched the back of his head. "Deku definitely escalated in violence towards them." Yeah, he'd gone to Baku Rage levels, except he'd followed through on the threats that Bakugou used to make all the time while they were at school. Deku really had killed those villains. "He must have remembered them and how they hurt you. He wouldn't have stood for them to be in the League."

"But do you think the League is okay with Deku just killing potential members?" Uraraka wondered.

"I don't think they have much of a choice, not with Deku's strength," Bakugou said. It was strange hearing Bakugou more or less admit that Deku was very strong, but she knew better than to comment on that as well. It was just something they had to accept. "Besides, if they get killed just like that, they didn't have that much potential anyways." He snorted. "Quality over quantity."

There was a moment where neither of them had anything to say or they just couldn't figure out what it was they wanted to say. More and more, Uraraka was beginning to feel like something was missing from these moments, like there was something they weren't doing that should've been done, but she couldn't figure out if it was his or her doing. She'd only begun to notice it after Deku had returned and it didn't hit her fully until she'd realized that Bakugou had put up the wall she'd painstakingly broken through.

She knew exactly what he would say if she did question him on it. He would say that he couldn't afford to let himself get distracted by anything with Deku on the run as a villain. Distracted from what, she either couldn't say or didn't want to, but she also knew that he was right. They couldn't be distracted. Already it felt like they were running in last place of a race that ended in death if they didn't finish first.

Letting out a deep, frustrated sigh, Uraraka flopped back on the bed. "What are we doing, Bakugou?"

"Jack shit," Bakugou responded, as delicate as ever.

Uraraka swallowed, staring up at the ceiling. "Am I…? Am I naive or stupid for thinking I need to save him? Is that even possible after all that he's done?"

"You tell me," Bakugou said. "You've seen him more than any of us so far."

"It's not just that." Uraraka chewed on her bottom lip to the point where it would've started bleeding had Bakugou not nudged her harshly. "Say he's being - I don't know - mind controlled or something. What if we do snap him out of it? What if he does break free? What then? He still…" She didn't want to think about it, but she knew that such things would rest heavily on Deku's mind if it were to happen. "He still murdered people. Yeah, most of them were villains, but innocent people died during the prison break as well. Not to mention any people that might get hurt or killed because of the escaped villains."

Bakugou was silent for longer than Uraraka could ever remember him being. Sure, he didn't go on rambling tangents like Deku and he didn't blabber nervously like Uraraka or make admittedly dramatic speeches like Todoroki, but he was very rarely silent. He was never quite still unless it was deadly serious. Of course she knew that he could be quiet when it called for, but getting lost in thought was not one of his habits.

"I guess," Bakugou said, more thoughtful than usual, "that will depend on Deku." He twisted his lips into something that was not quite a sneer but not a frown either, as if he didn't know how he felt. "Stupid nerd will probably cry himself silly over it."

Every time Bakugou mentioned confronting Deku, it usually involved Bakugou threatening to kill him. Uraraka knew that he wouldn't really do that though. Maybe he wanted to or maybe he didn't, but he wouldn't. She could not say for sure why. Maybe he did feel a hint of guilt over not being able to save Deku. He'd only managed to keep her from falling into the ocean after her quirk had finally tapped out. Maybe he was just angry about how Deku was toying with him. This time though, he seemed to at least acknowledge that he wasn't going to outright blast Deku to another planet.

Forcing herself to get over whatever melancholy was threatening to swallow her whole, Uraraka pulled herself back up into the sitting position. Bakugou was close enough to the bed where she could reach out and grab his hand, like she had the night he'd put her drunk self to bed. He flinched at the contact, but didn't pull away. It wasn't so strange to do it without the alcohol dimming their defensive systems, but it still took some effort.

"Thank you, Bakugou, for being here."

"Don't really got much of a choice," Bakugou mumbled.

Uraraka smiled and said, "Of course," when she really meant, That's not what I mean. He appeared to be at the limit of his emotional comfort, even if it would've looked like to anyone else that he hadn't done anything, so she decided not to push it. He was in here with her when he didn't have to be. She could've stayed in here by herself, but he'd chosen to stay.

His eyes fell to their hands, a thunderous expression on his face. He liked to hide how he was feeling with anger, as if he could transform any emotion into that. She wasn't quite sure what that look was for now. Her heart jumped a little when he rubbed his thumb in a circle over the back of her hand. His fingertips were calloused from firing off multiple explosions. It didn't hurt him, but his skin still built up a tough resistance. She wondered if it affected how much he could feel things with his fingers, but right when she opened her mouth to ask, there was a knock on the door and he jerked his hand away.

"Guys?" Kirishima's voice called from the other side.

"What?" Bakugou barked. "It better be important."

"Thought you'd want to know Kaminari is calling in with an update."

That was important. Bakugou was barreling towards the door as Uraraka bolted out of bed and followed him. A testament to how much Kirishima knew his best friend, he was already standing a good distance away from the door when Bakugou ripped it open and stomped out. Uraraka at least thanked him for letting them know before taking the call. There were multiple screens set up in the living room showing feeds from multiple cameras around the area, but they went to the laptop set up on the coffee table.

In her dream, Aizawa had been lying next to it, dead, but she blinked the memory away as she sat down on the couch next to Tsu behind the boys and Kirishima pressed the button to answer the call.

"Hi, ladies and gents," Kaminari greeted when he appeared on the screen.

He was so pale, but then he had been working tirelessly for the past few days. She wondered how much time he'd gotten outside, how many breaks he'd taken, if he'd been properly resting or eating well. Bakugou had been riding him hard about getting as much info as possible. Since the end of his time at UA and after, Kaminari had really come into his own using computers and other technology to work as a hero. He often worked with Hatsume on testing her support gadgets, thinking it great fun unlike Iida. It helped that he was the best one at setting up communications between all of them.

"Are you feeling well?" Uraraka asked before Bakugou could barrel through the conversation like a bull.

Kaminari blinked. "Huh?" He only then seemed to notice what he looked like in his own camera and let off a shaky chuckle as he wiped the sweat off his forehead. "Oh, yeah, I'm-I'm fine. Too many energy drinks."

Tsu frowned. "Those are not healthy for you, ribbit. I told you that years ago."

"Ha, should have listened…" Kaminari chuckled again.

"Whatever. I approve of them if they're helping you work longer." Bakugou shoved Tsu out of the camera so that he could hog most of it. They could have moved the computer back so they could fit in it comfortably, but they ended up squashed together. "What have you got? Any new leads? I'm dying out here."

A twitchy grin appeared on Kaminari's face - he really needed to lay off those energy drinks - and he rubbed the back of his head. "Ah, yeah, well, you know how you told me to keep digging around looking for clues about Midoriya's whereabouts?"

"Did you find anything?" Bakugou demanded.

"Well, uh-" Kaminari was abruptly knocked out of the view of the camera.

Only to be replaced by Deku, causing them all to give a start and gape. "I kind of found him instead." He gave them a winning beam and waved his hand, like he was a classmate that they hadn't seen in a long time. "Surprise!"

Bakugou reached for the computer like he could physically jump through it and strangle him. "Deku, you little shit!" For a moment, Uraraka was worried that Bakugou might actually break the laptop, but then Kirishima jerked his hands away from the screen.

"He's gotten a lot better at this," Deku said conversationally as he clicked through a few files on Kaminari's computer, his eyes slightly unfocused as he looked away from the camera. "I'm not as tech savvy, but even our guy can't figure out where you all are. Impressive." His eyes jerked back to them. "You all are in the wind, but I figured someone would keep the communication up. Kaminari was always good at that, with or without his quirk."

"I swear to fucking god, Deku," Bakugou growled, gripping the coffee table so tightly that it looked like he was about to break it into pieces. Tsu had already jumped over the couch to alert Aizawa and a few key others.

Deku laughed. "Don't worry. I haven't hurt him." He held up his hands in a what can you do? manner. "Not yet at least." The humor bled away from his face, replaced by a cold expression. "I see you didn't follow my one rule, Kacchan. Still entirely selfish. I told you what would happen if you didn't stay away from Ochako."

At the mention of her name and the unspoken threat hanging in the air, Uraraka pulled a Bakugou and barrelled her way into the conversation. She dropped down on the ground in between Bakugou and Kirishima, knocking the latter to the side so that he was completely out of the camera's view. "Deku!"

A bright smile twitched onto his face, but he still looked angry, likely over the fact that the very two people he expressly did not want to see together were now the only two he could see. "Where are you? I want to see you."

"You know I can't tell you that," Uraraka told him, forcing her voice to be soft despite the fact that her heart was racing like a dog chasing after a rabbit. Or maybe it was like a rabbit running away from a dog. "Please, don't do anything rash."

"It's not rash at all," Deku pointed out. "I told Kacchan what would happen if he didn't listen to me. I told him nicely too. All he had to do was stay away from you. He's not good for you."

"And you are?" Bakugou snarled out of the corner of his mouth.

Uraraka elbowed him in the side, making him grunt but shutting him up at least for a moment. He glared at her furiously, but she ignored him, putting her entire focus on the man on the computer screen. Deku. It was Deku. Always worried about her. She knew he trusted her and believed she was strong, but that never stopped him from considering her safety and happiness.

"Listen to me, Deku; you don't want to do this," Uraraka told him.

His nodding emphatically only made them more anxious. "I don't - you're right - but Kacchan forced my hand and, well, Kaminari is not being particularly forthcoming." He turned his head to smile fondly at someone off camera. "Are you going to tell me where they are?"

"I don't know!" Kaminari's disembodied voice shouted from somewhere off camera. There was an audible crack or maybe a pop and then the sound of a scream muffled through a grunt, like the person was trying to hold their pain in and not let it show. They all knew what it was though: another villain breaking one of Kaminari's bones, most likely a finger.

Shock them, Uraraka pleaded in her mind, just shock them stupid.

But then it would leave Kaminari completely defenseless and they'd kill him. The ball was in Deku's court, but they had to steal it and Uraraka knew that she was the only one capable of doing so.

Right when Bakugou made to shout at Deku for hurting Kaminara, Uraraka completely shoved him out of the view of the camera, so hard that he went sprawling against the floor, and held up a hand to stop him from trying to shove his way back in. She relaxed her shoulders and put a soft expression on her face. "I saw what you did for me, Deku," she said in a shy voice.

That caught Deku's attention. His eyes darted to hers, unblinking, and they were so bright and alive. "You did?"

"You didn't let the villains I caught get away," Uraraka said, sounding oh so nervous, like she was on a first date or something. She fiddled with her fingers, glanced away from him briefly before bringing her eyes back to him. It wasn't all that hard to feign. She did feel nervous and scared. What if this ploy didn't work? She saw Bakugou gawking at her out of the corner of his eyes, like he didn't know who she was either.

The eagerness on Deku's face would've been cute if she didn't know that he'd killed people for her. "I couldn't just let them live after what they did to you. It was unacceptable. Besides, you worked so hard to get them off the street. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I let them work under me knowing how they hurt you? I'd be implicit."

"You're a little more than that," Bakugou muttered under his breath, not loud enough for computer mic to pick his voice up. "Some fucking boyfriend."

"You told me that you wouldn't let me get hurt," Uraraka continued.

"And I meant it," Deku replied in the most earnest tone. It twisted her gut. He sounded so much like he had before, so much like the boy she'd fallen in love with.

The tears that pooled in her eyes weren't fake. She wanted to let them loose. This was breaking her heart. "Then why are you hurting me, Deku?" A hurt expression flashed across Deku's face, like she'd just slapped him. He looked genuinely hurt by her words. "Kaminari is my friend. Your hurting him hurts me."

Deku considered her words, one of his fingers tapping thoughtfully on the keyboard. It was like he hadn't thought of this factor before. When he'd said that he wouldn't let her get hurt, he'd meant physically, but the emotional pain was getting worse with every passing day. Was he breaking his word to her by doing this? Was it worth it? She could see the gears turning in his head as he wondered if she would forgive him this.

"I'm sorry, Ochako," Deku settled on, a determined look on his face, "but it has to be done." Her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach. She'd failed. "If you come back to me though, I'll spare him. Kaminari's only doing what Kacchan told him and I understand him listening. Kacchan's very persuasive in his own brute force way."

Well that was better than nothing. Bakugou looked about as pleased by this development as he would be about chewing on gravel and seemed to be doing just that as he ground his teeth. He dragged himself to his feet and went to his bag so that he could rifle through it for his hero costume.

"I just want this to end," Uraraka said quietly, allowing her grief to seep into her voice.

"I know, I know," Deku replied soothingly. "And it will once we make things right." She didn't know what he meant by that, but she knew that whatever it was, it wouldn't be right at all. Not by a longshot. "I know you won't come alone. Tell Shoto I look forward to seeing him again. I'd like to finish what we started."

Bakugou ripped his t-shirt off so viciously that she was surprised he didn't tear it and snapped, "I'm going to be the one finishing him," before pulling his black and red tank top over his head.

"And remember," Deku said, pulling Kaminari back into view of the camera. Kaminari was somehow paler than before, but sweat was covering his face and he was breathing heavily, one of his fingers swollen and bent at an awkward angle. Still, he wore a determined look on his face, like he was ready to fight on. Deku had a tight grip on Kaminari's wrist, but when a few sparks crackled around him, Deku didn't even flinch. Uraraka only then noticed that he was wearing thick, rubber gloves. "If you all don't come, we'll see how Kaminari handles the pain that I suffered through when I was first learning my quirk." Tsu gasped behind them and Kirishima hissed, but Uraraka held on tight, staring Deku down. "You've got an hour."

The screen went black and Uraraka was left to look at her own reflection. She looked lost. She felt lost.

"What do we do?" Kirishima asked in the silence.

Bakugou snorted. "Obviously we go there and kick his ass."

"Doesn't fighting on his grounds sound like a bad idea?" Kirishima wondered out loud. "I mean, we have no idea what we're walking into. He's obviously not alone, but we don't know how many villains he has with him."

"It's a trap," Tsu added.

"You think I don't know that?" Bakugou rounded on them, his red eyes looking like they were on fire. They were all too used to him to flinch, but it would've sent anyone that didn't know him scrambling. "But what other choice do we have? Kaminari might be an idiot, but do you want him to suffer a very slow and painful death?"

That shut them all up. Deciding quickly with a few glances towards each other, the other three rushed to suit up as well. By the time they were ready, it was likely other pro heroes that were now involved in this situation would be on their way to the location. Uraraka wasn't certain what Deku would do if heroes showed up to Kaminari's residence and they didn't, but she thought it would be awful.

One thing she had noticed was that during their confrontations so far, Deku hadn't really been angry. He'd had flashes of fury, but then it would fade away by the time the fighting began. He hadn't fought in anger. She had a feeling that if he did, the devastation would be immense. They had to keep him from getting like that. How was another matter. They couldn't exactly make him happy without caving to his insane demands, which they were still unsure about.

Uraraka padded over to Bakugou, who was down on the ground lacing up his boots. "I don't think I'm the main target here."

"What do you mean?" Bakugou tied his boots so tight that it looked painful. "He all but demanded you hand yourself over to him."

Fiddling with her helmet in her hands, Uraraka chewed on her words carefully before continuing. "Well, he had Kaminari call you, not me. Maybe he thought he'd get a hold of me that way, but if you had done what he'd told you to do and stayed away from me-"

"Not likely," Bakugou rumbled.

"-then he wouldn't have been able to see me," Uraraka finished, ignoring his interjection. "He also brought up the fact that I wouldn't come alone and that Todoroki would be coming." Bakugou finally looked up at her, tilting his head back and watching her through narrowed but not disbelieving eyes. She stilled her hands. "I think you and Todoroki are the real targets. I'm just…"

Bakugou arched an eyebrow. "The cherry on top?"

As much as she liked sundaes, Uraraka wasn't a fan of this one. It made sense to her though. Deku had more or less said that the League of Villains wanted Todoroki and Bakugou dead. They were both strong enough with their quirks and rising fast in the hero ranks that they would prove to be an issue for any villainous activity. Besides, using Uraraka as the reason, they were pointing Deku like a missile at his former friends. Maybe he believed in what the League was doing and maybe he was just there for the ride, but his desires and theirs lined up for now with Bakugou and Todoroki acting as a barrier between him and Uraraka.

I just want this to end, she'd said. What she had really meant was, I want you to come home.

But Uraraka was starting to realize that it would never be possible. Even if the old Deku did come back, it wouldn't erase all the things that his new Deku had done.

Bakugou jumped to his feet. "Likely he's got a few villains handpicked to counteract our quirks." He wiped his sweaty hands off on his baggy pants. It seemed like a casually haphazard thing to do, considering that he was essentially rubbing explosives on himself. "But I'm not letting that stop me. I told you I'd get him and that's what I'm gonna do." He gave her a look. "Can't promise that he won't be more than a little busted up."

A little busted up was a grave understatement considering how much she knew Bakugou wanted to fight Deku. It wasn't just about blasting him to next Tuesday. This was a serious grudge match, a long time coming. She kind of thought that Bakugou believed Deku had held back some, at least a little, to ensure that no one was seriously hurt, but Deku wouldn't do that now. When he punched, he would be aiming to kill.

A sudden hand on her cheek startled Uraraka out of her thoughts and she peered up at him. The touch was a lot more intimate than the ones she was used to from him, but it had the effect of forcing her full attention on him and letting her know how deadly serious he was. There was that strange, unreadable look on his face again, like the one from their last quiet night. "Promise me," he said in a low voice, "if things go south, if we can't take him, you'll get out. Grab Kaminari, whoever you can, and go."

Uraraka bristled and hardened her expression. "I'm not just going to leave you two. This is my fight too."

"Promise me," Bakugou repeated. "Save who you can and get out."

She would've argued with him more if not for the way his voice cracked just a hair. It was almost unnoticeable. Maybe if she hadn't been staring at him, she would've missed it, but she didn't and it caused her to hesitate. His fingertips were as rough as hers on her cheek, but his was from multiple explosions and burns. "What if I want to save you?"

"Then it better not be at your expense," Bakugou told her, "or you'll have wasted my time and you know how much I hate it when people do that."

Taking a breath, she nodded her head, silently agreeing to his terms, even if she didn't like it. Only then did he pull his hand away. The main goal was to stop Deku, but obviously saving people and keeping them safe was a top priority as well. Being in the city, there was a chance for massive collateral damage. Tsu had told her while they were getting ready that the pro heroes were going to attempt to evacuate the area as much as possible. Deku's reaction to that worried her, but if his main focus was on Bakugou and Todoroki, then he might not care.

The thought that Deku didn't care about innocent lives was a very painful one.


	10. Chapter 10

**notes:** By sheer coincidence, this chapter was lined up to be posted right after yesterday's new episode. There are references to the events in that chapter and it sort of ties into it in a way. This is a _massive_ chapter. I couldn't find a spot that felt good to break it in half ans basically just said, "fuck it," and posted it as one. I'm talking an 8 pg fight scene here. It was insanity to write. I'm hoping it's a good one! When I first pictured this scene, the ending was different, but then the characters took on a life of their own and this felt so natural and so much better (or worse, depending who you are). Buckle up, ya'll. This is going to be a wild ride.

* * *

 _"History is moving pretty quickly these days and the heroes and villains keep on changing parts."_  
 **―** **Ian Fleming, Casino Royale**

* * *

The block was too quiet. Uraraka watched Kaminari's apartment building from what most would've considered a safe distance, but with Deku nearby, it was anything but safe. The light was still on in the apartment, but they weren't for sure if Deku was still inside with Kaminari. For all they knew, he'd transferred them somewhere else. She hated not knowing – hated wondering what was going on through Kaminari's mind as he waited to be tortured by his old friend – hated what Deku had turned into.

How could she possibly save him when he was like this? How could any of them forgive him? Uraraka knew that she was being soft, but she couldn't help it. She had loved Deku with everything in her and she still did, but seeing him like this was twisting a knife in her heart. It made the world seem wrong and she had to fix it.

Tsu came back down from her trip to the roof in the office building they were in, pulling her goggles off her eyes to rest of the top of her head. "Eight people confirmed in Kaminari's apartment." The heat signature goggles she typically wore for her hero costume these days came in handy while out on the ocean when it was hard to see, but it also helped them here tonight. "If Kaminari is in there, that's seven villains."

"That's assuming that all of them are hold up in that one spot," Kirishima pointed out. "He could have more stationed throughout or outside the apartment." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't like this. We shouldn't go in so blind."

"We don't have much of a choice," Bakugou said as he glared at the apartment heatedly. It was like he thought he could melt it down with his eyes alone. "We're out of time."

The end of the hour limit that Deku had given them was almost up. Uraraka glanced at the watch on her phone and chewed on her bottom lip. She kept picturing Kaminari tied up in his apartment, alone with a bunch of villains, watching the clock and counting down to a horrible death. They weren't going to let that happen – he had to know that – but it was still terrifying. What if they hadn't made it here in time? They'd managed to reach here with time to spare, but had then argued about whether to go in or not.

The truth was that they weren't enough to take on Deku and a handful of other villains. Bakugou could deny it all he wanted, but even he couldn't defeat seven high-powered villains at once. These weren't every day villains. Besides, if there was one person that knew his fighting style in and out, it was Deku. He knew all of them well. He'd spent years watching them and documenting them for his own analysis. He knew her. It was frightening to know that the one person who had believed in all their strengths could now revel in their weaknesses.

A knock on the door pulled all of them except Bakugou away from the window. Kirishima answered and stood to the side as other pro heroes poured inside. Aizawa was first, looking livelier than she'd ever seen him, though perhaps it was because he was about to battle a former student. He also was the voice of reason, seeing as how Midnight and Endeavor follow after. It was hard not to get slightly overwhelmed by their old teachers and highly ranked pro heroes. Iida, Jirou, and Todoroki strode in as well.

Even though the battle hadn't begun yet, relief bloomed in Uraraka's heart as she took in everyone. Surely with all of them now, they could save Kaminari. They had more people in their favor now. She was grateful that they'd managed to convince Bakugou to wait. With so many heroes with incredibly strong quirks, the scales had to be tipped in their direction.

"I can't believe that idiot got captured," Jirou complained, although there was real worry in her eyes. Uraraka was surprised to see her at first, but then she did live close by. Jirou looked awkward standing in between Todoroki and Iida, both of whom were incredibly serious, her arms folded and a tense frown on her face.

"Deku knows us too well," Uraraka told her. "He knew that Kaminari would be running point on communications."

"Are we that predictable?" Jirou asked sullenly.

Uraraka bit her lip. "To Deku, maybe so."

"Then I'll just have to blow his expectations out of the water," Bakugou growled, sounding like an attack dog.

"We can't just burst in there and fight him head on," Iida put in seriously. Bakugou rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath that was obviously an insult, but Iida didn't care. "We need to have a plan."

"That's what the adults are doing," Aizawa said, giving them a look that suggested they were still kids. It made all of them bristle, but it did the job of shutting them up. Bakugou looked like he was ready to launch himself out the window, but he clenched his fists and stayed quiet. Even after being out of school for a few years, Aizawa still had that effect on them.

"Is anyone else coming?" Kirishima asked.

Bakugou shook his head. "We don't have the time."

And he was right. They didn't. They had to make do with what they had; they had to work together with who they had. If Bakugou wasn't complaining about having to work with others, then it was clearly a dire situation. He considered Deku to be that much of a threat. Then again, he had witnessed power like Deku's up close before when he'd witnessed All Might battling All for One. If Deku was capable of that kind of power nowadays, they would need all the help they could get and more.

They moved through making a plan quick. When they were done, not wholly satisfied but unable to do much more, they all split up through the room.

Tsu rubbed her arms. "Do you really think we can do this, ribbit?"

"We have more people," Iida said. "We have the advantage."

"We don't know that," Todoroki pointed out. "More than likely there are other villains out there lying in wait. He did that when I fought him."

The not knowing made Uraraka incredibly anxious. Her former classmates huddled together one last time before the night would go to hell. None of them really knew what would happen. They could stick to the plan and still be defeated or they could go off script and do something amazing. Anything could happen.

Uraraka glanced up at the apartment. What was going on up there? What was Deku doing? She pictured him sitting in Kaminari's computer chair, looking out the window and waiting for them, but that wasn't right. She bet he was talking. But about what? Would he just talk with Kaminari about how his life had been for the past eleven months? That sounded right. It was unsettling. He shouldn't be able to do such casual things while hanging the threat of torture and death over a person.

When Uraraka's phone rang, she jumped, completely forgetting that she had it on her. She pulled it out of a pouch and looked at the ID.

"Who is it?" Aizawa demanded. She held it out to show Kaminari's caller ID. "It's Midoriya." He stared Uraraka down, making her question everything she had ever known about her life. "Answer it."

Taking a deep breath, Uraraka swiped to accept the call and put it on speaker before setting it down on the table. Everyone crowded around the table, except for Bakugou and Todoroki, both of whom hung off to the side on opposite ends of the room but watched out of the corner of their eyes. "Hello?"

"It's good to hear your voice, Ochako," Deku responded on the other end. He sounded like he genuinely meant it, like he would when they were together and he was gone for hero business outside of the city. The late night phone calls had always meant so much to her, if only to hear him, even if it meant listening to him ramble.

"You too, Deku," she replied softly.

"Kaminari says hi as well," Deku said before there was a shuffling sound. "Say hi!"

"Don't listen–"

There was a smack followed by a yelp and then Deku was sighing into the phone. "So much for being nice." Yeah, he was threatening to kill one of his old friends by breaking all his bones. That didn't sound like a nice thing to do. Uraraka didn't comment on that though, not wanting to push Deku's buttons any further. "Did you come like a good girl?"

Uraraka tried not to blush, as it wasn't the appropriate response given the situation, but it was weird with everyone listening. "You know I did. I don't want anything to happen to Kaminari."

"Such a good friend," Deku said. "I hope you didn't come alone."

"No, I–" Uraraka glanced up at the others, most of whom had their eyes on her. "Everyone you saw on the camera feed is here."

"No Shoto?" Deku asked, disappointment evidence in his voice. In his corner, Todoroki stiffened, but said nothing out loud. It was more than evident to Uraraka now that she wasn't the target for tonight. By him calling her, it made it appear as if he was focused on her, but his mentioning of Todoroki told her that they had wanted him to be here tonight. Maybe he should've stayed back, but no, Todoroki was as stubborn as she was and they needed him here besides. "I thought we were friends. Maybe he doesn't care as much as I thought he did."

Todoroki turned away from them completely, hiding his face in the shadows. She gazed at his back, reading all the tension in his body. He cared. He cared so much. This was tearing him apart. Everything that had brought Deku and Todoroki together was either gone or twisted into something awful. Just as Deku's love for Uraraka had been turned into some sort of obsession, his love for Todoroki had changed as well. Into what, none of them could be sure, except Deku seemed unable to decide whether or not he wanted to kill Todoroki.

"Maybe if you gave us more time–"

"No, I'm afraid I can't do that. I've probably been too accommodating as it stands." Deku chuckled lightly to himself. "Can't have the other guys thinking I'm going soft. After all I did to prove otherwise. I'd have to break a few things to prove my point again and, well, no one would enjoy that."

Uraraka fought the urge to shiver. To think that Deku had actually injured other villains in order to prove that he was not to be questioned was a strange thing. Actions would always speak louder than words. He could tell them that he was no longer a hero only so many times before it became repetitive. Or he could show them just how cruel and cold he could be. Deku had always been good at proving what he believed in and who he was.

"Ochako?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm a little disappointed that you don't think I still know you." He did sound disappointed, like when you wanted it to be sunny but opened the door to find it raining.

His words caused Uraraka to furrow her brow. "What–?"

"Tell Shoto I'm sorry."

Uraraka whipped her head around to look Todoroki, who had done the same to look at her. Their eyes met for a second, confusion written in both their gazes and their bodies equally tense, when a massive wall of blue fire exploded into the room and took Todoroki completely out of her sight. She didn't even get the chance to scream out for him. The explosion was so intense that it knocked all of them off their feet. Uraraka went sailing back, crashing into Bakugou and then through a window. He managed to grab her so that he took the brunt of their fall when they landed, but then let go as both of them rolled about on the ground.

She hadn't even come to a complete stop when she started scrambling to her feet and screamed, "Todoroki!" Her wide eyes took in the sight of half the building blown to pieces as blue flames ate greedily and flickered in the air. It didn't look like it would stand for much longer, certainly not if another explosion hit it. To their right, Iida was setting Tsu back on her feet. He must've grabbed her and leapt out the other window. Everyone else was still inside. Uraraka felt sick. The blast had been huge. Was anyone still alive?

"Oh, was that rude? Should I have knocked?"

The smoke cleared a bit, showing Dabi standing beside the hole of the building. Of course she had known it was him – those blue flames were as good as a signature – but to see him just standing there, jacket billowing in the wind, his eyes glowing as blue as his flames, Uraraka couldn't help but feel like she was on edge.

Before Uraraka could do anything though, Bakugou was flying himself toward Dabi with his explosive quirk at a rocket-like speed and screaming, "You bastard!" Both of them let off explosions at the same time, Bakugou's orange colliding with Dabi's blue, so strong that Uraraka was forced to throw an arm over her face and bend down to one knee to brace herself so that she wasn't thrown back again. When she pulled her arm away, she saw that Bakugou had launched himself in the air with one hand at the last second to avoid Dabi's flames while attacking with the other. He fell to the ground now, aiming like a bullet, directly towards Dabi, his eyes as red as fire.

"Uraraka, watch out!" Iida yelled.

So focused on Bakugou and Dabi and dazed from being thrown out the window, Uraraka had stopped paying attention to everything else. She spun around just in time to see a large chunk of the street flying towards her. She couldn't dodge it, so she threw a hand out in hopes that she could tag it with her quirk before it smashed into her, but at the last second a wall of ice erupted in between her and the concrete. Ice shattered around her, but it did the job of shielding her from the rubble.

Todoroki hopped out of the window of the burning building, panting heavily and staggering for a moment. His costume was singed and he was bleeding over his forehead, but he was alive. He must have used the ice half of his quirk to shield himself from most of Dabi's initial blast. Now he looked infuriated as he walked towards the villain who had appeared from the mouth of the alley.

Fire burst to life behind Todoroki as Endeavor joined Bakugou in fighting Dabi and she heard Dabi actually laugh, "Oh, you too!" So some of them had survived the initial attack. She shook her head. She couldn't worry about that. She couldn't be distracted during this fight. Their fears had been correct; the only villains in the area hadn't been in Kaminari's apartment. They hadn't even gotten inside the building.

Iida and Todoroki started towards the villain, who pressed his hands to the ground. The street started to quake under their feet, as if alive, and then break into pieces. It threw Iida off track, taking away his footing. Tsu was able to leap from each chunk of concrete like it was a maze while Todoroki used his ice quirk to skate over the broken ground. The villain threw up more of the street in Todoroki's way, forcing him to blast them with his fire, but it gave Uraraka an idea.

She ran forward, stumbling through the street as it shook and broke underneath her, slapping her hands on the large rubble as she did so. When she felt like she had enough, she rounded back to where she'd started and touched the large block of concrete that had been thrown at her initially. "Get out of the way!" she shouted. Todoroki slid to a halt and glanced back at her. He got the picture pretty quickly, throwing himself to the side right as she swung the debris like a bat so that she hit all the floating chunks of rabble as hard as she could. It rained on the villain like a hailstorm, too massive for him to dodge.

The victory was short-lived though as a shadow snaked its way through the cracked street and then wrapped itself around Uraraka's ankle. She let out a yelp as she was jerked into the air upside down and then slammed into the ground like she was nothing but a ragdoll. She gasped as the air was stolen from her lungs and her head felt like it had been cracked despite wearing her helmet. Then, before she could be thrown again, Tsu's tongue wrapped around her waist and pulled her to safety.

"Do you see him?" Iida questioned as they all looked around for the source of the shadows.

Instead of getting their questions answered, Dabi jumped back and said, "Your turn!" and shadows as black as ink burst onto the scene. They were so thick that they seemed to swallow Bakugou and Endeavor until nothing could be seen except pitch blackness. It was like they were gone, except that they could still be heard. Even one of Bakugou's explosions sounded out, but only the darkness could be seen and they all gaped at it, not knowing what to do.

After only a moment's hesitation, Iida shot forward, darting into the shadows and disappearing from sight. Seconds later, he appeared again, looking frazzled, but before he could get out of the mess completely, the shadows contracted, like water being sucked down a drain. The shadow caught hold of his leg like it had Uraraka's ankle. When it was done, they could see the shadows were tightly wound over Bakugou and Endeavor as well, holding them in an anaconda-like grip in the air so that neither of them could move their hands. Explosions rattled out of Bakugou's hands as he struggled in the painful grip, but they did nothing to hinder the shadows binding them.

When Uraraka and Todoroki took a step forward, Endeavor snapped, "Don't come closer!"

"Smart choice," Dabi mused before letting off another burst of fire. This time, it was aimed towards Tsu. She leaped out of the way as Todoroki shot a row of ice spikes at him.

With him distracted by counteracting Todoroki, Uraraka ran up behind Dabi. She was only a few inches away from slapping him on the back when a knife buried itself in the ground right at her feet. She gasped and pulled back, which caught Dabi's attention. He threw a hand in her face and started to activate his quirk. Both of them seemed to realize what was about to happen at the same time and their eyes widened in surprise. He was going to hit her right in the face with his flames. Deku had sworn that if Dabi hurt Uraraka, he'd break Dabi in half and she had a gut feeling that Dabi had seen firsthand what happened to people that Deku didn't like.

And then the fire winked out as if someone had blown on it so that she was left to gawk at Dabi's hand an inch away from her face.

They stared at each other for a second, interrupted by a yell and then someone crashing into Dabi. Uraraka gasped when she saw that it was Kirishima. He was a little burnt, but otherwise uninjured. When the explosion hit, he must have hardened himself. Dabi's flame had gone out suddenly too, which meant– Uraraka looked over to see Aizawa carrying Jirou out of the nearly destroyed building. They both looked worse for wear, Jirou especially, but they were alive. He must have cancelled Dabi's quirk right before Dabi let it off.

However, Uraraka didn't get to bask in the relief of her friends' lives when more knives started to rain down on her. She did her best to dodge them until one of them got her in the thigh and she went crashing to the ground.

"Not her, you idiot!" Dabi shouted as he jumped away of Kirishima's swing. His nose was bleeding from where he must have been hit by Kirishima, but he'd gotten out of the hero's grip.

"Stay still!" Kirishima growled.

Uraraka tried running in Aizawa's direction, but was forced to come to a halt when a villain dropped down in between her and them. It was a woman, wearing an absurdly revealing outfit that seemed almost entirely made out of knives. The woman smiled and practically purred, "Oh, you must be the one he talks about so much." Uraraka narrowed her eyes. "Strange. You don't look like much."

Once upon a time, talk about Deku might have gotten Uraraka's mind off track. She was terribly messed up over this whole scenario, but she wasn't about to let some villain knock her off her game and so she attacked. The woman was much more graceful than Uraraka and she pulled out a knife from around her leg, spinning it delicately on a finger before slashing at Uraraka with it. She managed to bend backwards out of its way, sliding under the woman's outstretched arm and slamming a palm into her chest. With her quirk activated, it sent the woman careening backwards until she hit a wall.

"We got this!" Uraraka exclaimed as the knife villain and Dabi squared up together. "Help the others!"

If Aizawa managed to find the villain with that strange shadow quirk, it would free Bakugou, Endeavor, and Iida from his grasp. She could hear Bakugou exploding behind her in rage, Iida's engines bursting at full speed to pull himself out, and Endeavor's flames attempting to cut through the shadows to no avail. She couldn't help them. She needed to get through these two villains so that she could get to Kaminari.

Todoroki seemed to be on the same page. "I'll distract them and you and Tsuyu go."

She knew that Todoroki could take them on, but she didn't like the idea of leaving him alone, especially since Jirou was nearby almost completely out of commission.

"Froppy will stay back to help," Midnight's voice came from behind. The three younger heroes looked back to her. Besides Jirou, she looked to have suffered the worst of the blast. Her costume had so many burnt patches, along with her skin, and pink smoke seemed to leak out of those holes. "I will come with you. With Eraserhead busy, we'll need my quirk if we have any hopes of subduing Midoriya."

After taking the two gas masks that Midnight was holding out to her, Uraraka nodded her head tightly. This was a disaster. She was frightened. She didn't want to confront Deku again, but knew that it was unavoidable. A part of her hoped that he wasn't in there. They couldn't fight him head on. It should've been Todoroki or Bakugou.

Using his vast power, Todoroki cut a line for them straight to the apartment building, blocking the two villains from attacking her or Midnight, and they bolted in that direction, Midnight slightly ahead. Once they reached the side of the building, she touched the other woman's arm and threw her up in the air. Uraraka did the same thing to herself, pushing off the ground, when she saw the streak of shadow out of the corner of her eyes. She was five feet off the ground when it burst up like an arm reaching out for her. Right before it could do so, it disappeared and she knew Aizawa must have found the villain controlling the shadows.

There was no time to consider it though, not when Uraraka grabbed hold of the railing on Kaminari's balcony and deactivated her quirk so she and Midnight could stand on it. Uraraka took her helmet off and slipped the gas mask over her face as a thick, pink fog began to seep from Midnight's exposed skin and they jerked open the door, the air happily sucking in the sedative smoke.

Except the apartment was empty.

Uraraka bolted through the apartment, but there was no one inside. There were obvious signs of a brief struggle and it looked like someone had raided Kaminari's fridge, but that was it. Her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach as she realized that they had been tricked and she ripped the mask off and ran back onto the balcony.

"Where is he?" Bakugou screamed from below, ready to blast himself up to her level. Uraraka could only shake her head. She didn't know.

"Up here, you guys!" came Deku's excited voice. Uraraka leaned over the railing and twisted her neck so that she could look up towards the roof. Sure enough, there was Deku, one foot propped up on the edge while he rested his folded arms across his knee and leaned half his body over it. "There you are, Ochako. Safe and sound. I knew you'd be the one to come up for Kaminari."

Uraraka's heart seized in her chest. "Deku–"

"Stay there," Deku told her as he straightened up. "I don't want you to get hurt."

Him ordering her around – like he had any right to do so now – angered her so much, but there was little she could do about it, especially when she realized what was about to happen. The others down below did as well and tried to brace for it, but when Deku jumped off the roof, they could only prepare so much for the impact. Using the strength of his quirk, Deku crash-landed in the middle of the fight like a meteor, smoke exploding everywhere, the impact so hard that it created a large crater and wrecked the street. The concrete shattered and more pieces of the building that Dabi had partially destroyed began to fall off in chunks. It created a shockwave that broke windows and set off car alarms. At the same time, Todoroki threw up a huge wall of ice and Bakugou let off a massive explosion to defend themselves and others.

It was way too much power. Uraraka had never seen Deku unleash so much unless it was to fight a villain, but now he was using it to just break things. Because he could. Because he was capable of such destruction and whoever was behind the scenes of this new League of Villains was just letting him go.

Uraraka didn't wait for the smoke to settle. She threw herself over the balcony and did a free fall before activating her quirk on herself a few feet from the ground. The ground was uneven, like from an awful earthquake, and she skidded down a chunk of concrete before getting her balance. She shoved her way through the smoke towards the ice until she saw red flames to her right and she came to a stop. Had they come from Todoroki or Endeavor?

Chains shot towards her and wrapped themselves around her before she could react, writhing around her like snakes, and she fell sideways onto the cracked street. She gasped as they tightened around her and she couldn't move her arms. A yelp slipped out of her as the chains began to drag her through the rubble towards whatever villain controlled them. She twisted her right wrist to a painful degree and stretched her fingers until she was able to brush her fingertips against the chains and then she tapped her thigh. The sudden change in gravity meant that she was jerked forward, but it must have startled the villain as well. She floated in the air and the chains loosened around her so that she was able to wiggle out of them.

Using an upturned part of the street as a base, Uraraka kicked off of it and floated through the fog like she was a part of it, shouts and explosions surrounding her, until she finally spotted two people. She released her quirk and landed next to Jirou and Iida, both of whom were covered in dust and blood. Iida was crouched down over Jirou, who was shoving him away so that she could sit up, even though it looked like she might tumble down again.

"Thank everything you're alive," Uraraka gasped.

Iida raised his eyes to her. "Uraraka, you came down here!" Of course she had. Had they expected her to listen to Deku's order? "Help me with Jirou. She's being stubborn. We need to get her out of here."

"I'm fine," Jirou snapped. She certainly didn't look it, but Uraraka understood how she felt. "We're blind right now anyways, so unless you want to walk right into a villain…" Iida gave them both uneasy looks. Taking a deep breath that looked uncomfortable, Jirou extended one of her earjacks into the ground and listened. Uraraka looked through the smoke. It was beginning to clear and she could see the telltale red streaks that came with Deku's quirk. "Okay, there's a clear path to our right, but we've gotta be quick."

Luckily, quick was what Iida did, so she activated her quirk on Jirou so that he could pick her up with no issues and then climbed onto his back herself. She didn't take away her own gravity, starting to feel the toll of using it on herself in the pit of her stomach. The last thing she needed to do was puke in the middle of a fight.

It was only when they stopped and Iida let them down did she notice that one of his engines was beginning to sputter. Iida caught her line of sight and admitted, "I had to overdo it in order to get Jirou away from the building when pieces started to fall off."

Jirou practically fell down in a sitting position. "And I used my heartbeat speakers to blast most of the rubble away from me, but broke my left one. I think…" She struggled to move her leg, gritting through the pain that she could no longer hide. "I think my leg is broken."

Behind them, Uraraka thought she heard Bakugou shouting something at Deku and she turned towards the sound of his voice, calling out like a beacon. With the smoke and dust mostly settled, the fight could be seen clearer now. Five villains, including Dabi, were on Aizawa and Endeavor while Todoroki and Bakugou were fighting with Deku. Tsu and Kirishima were nowhere to be seen. She couldn't think about that.

At first, it looked as if the five villains were struggling with the two older pro heroes. With Aizawa cancelling their quirks left and right, it gave for easy picking for Endeavor, who was even more talented with his hellfire quirk than Todoroki was. The shadow villain was the most difficult to deal with, considering the versatility of his quirk, so Azawa was mostly focused on him, but then Dabi would let off a large burst of flames that forced Endeavor to counter with one of his instead of paying attention to the shadow villain. Endeavor was also forced to deal with a water controlling villain that worked alongside Dabi, which left him little opportunity to help Aizawa or consider the other fight going on.

The realization struck Uraraka: the villains weren't fighting Aizawa and Endeavor; they were distracting them.

The real fight was between Deku, Todoroki, and Bakugou and the villains needed to ensure that the older heroes, especially Aizawa, were kept out of it. Deku's quirk was overpowering. Now that he'd mastered it, he could take on multiple people at once. If Aizawa were to join in that fight, Deku would immediately go from one hundred to zero and Bakugou and Todoroki would be able to subdue him.

As of right now, Todoroki and Bakugou were trying to close in on Deku and keep him in one spot, but while they were fast, Deku was faster. He could punch a hole in Bakugou's explosions and knock him back or shatter Todoroki's ice with a kick that sent sharp ice flying everywhere.

Deku bolted in zigzag directions, leaping out of the way of Bakugou's explosive reach to the side of a building, kicking off it to aim a punch at Todoroki. He managed to block Deku's hit by using his fire to blow himself out of the way, but then Deku corrected himself swiftly by grabbing onto a piece of rubble, swinging around it and then launching it towards Bakugou. He blasted the rock with such a strong explosion that it turned the rubble into dust and bits of debris. Unfortunately, the rubble hid Deku who was coming up right behind it. Bakugou didn't have time to let off a strong enough explosion to defend himself and he took a heavy hit from Deku, flying back at least fifteen feet and one of his grenade bracers breaking.

She couldn't wait any longer. She had to make a decision on what to do and she had to do it now. "I'm going in."

"Uraraka–" Iida started.

"Trust me, I'll be fine," she interrupted firmly. "I need you to look for Tsu and Kirishima."

Iida didn't look pleased, but he nodded his head in a determined fashion. He took off one way and Uraraka went off in the other in the direction of the fight between Aizawa and Endeavor and the five other villains. She activated her quirk on a large chunk of the street and then threw it like a frisbee in the direction of the shadow villain, whose back was to her. The ground villain saw her though and pulled up some more of the street to act as a shield. Still, it was enough to distract them and Aizawa was able to cancel the shadow villain's quirk long enough to wrap him up in bindings and slam him hard enough on the ground to knock him unconscious.

The female knife villain let out a snarl and sent five blades in Uraraka's direction, but then she was saved by Endeavor's flames. With the fire as her cover, she was able to reach the knife villain and grab her by the wrist. Without gravity, Uraraka threw the woman into the sky, sending her floating practically into space, and then released her quirk so the knife villain fell at least fifteen stories from the air, a scream tearing from her throat as she fell. The villain with chains was able to snatch her out of the air and bring her safely to the ground.

Gasping for air, the woman shouted, "You little–" and threw at least a dozen large daggers at Uraraka. This time there was no Aizawa or Endeavor to save her and she let out a shout of fear.

Just as Uraraka hoped, Deku came to her rescue, letting out a gasp of, "Ochako!" and then shooting away from his fight with Todoroki. He was quicker than lightning, practically invisible to the naked eye. He snatched her up bridal style and carried her out of the way of the knives so fast that it was like a gust of wind blew through. Her hair settled as she took in a breath of air. Even Deku was breathing heavily. "Why would you be so reckless?"

Uraraka turned to face him, tears in her eyes, as she cradled his face in her hands. "I'm sorry, Deku."

As soon as the words sunk in, Deku staggered as he began to float in the air and nearly dropped her. She peeled herself out of his arms and away from him, keeping his gaze as he clenched and unclenched his fists. His eyes flickered from her to his hands and then behind her. An awful, furious expression overcame his face when he realized that Aizawa had canceled his quirk and he had no hold on his gravity, leaving him to be an open target.

"DEKU!" Bakugou half growled/half roared as his explosions propelled him forward like a bat out of hell. He threw a hand out to snatch Deku, another explosion at the ready. Deku used a bit of debris to kick off the ground with his gravity zeroed out by Uraraka's quirk to escape his grasp. She cancelled it quickly as Todoroki created a wall of ice from behind Deku to keep him from escaping. They had him. My god, they had him.

And then pitch black shadows and blue flames exploded at the same time, the shadows swallowing Deku and Bakugou while the fire forced everyone else back. It was like a line was cut in between them, severing them from each other.

"ENOUGH!" Deku raged from inside the darkness. There was a series of explosions as Bakugou set some off at random in an attempt to hit Deku, but then Uraraka saw the telltale signs of Deku's power. It was like nothing she had ever seen before. The shadows shielding him didn't seem to matter as red and green lightning streaked through it and into the sky. "This would be easier if you _did your damn jobs_!"

"Bakugou, get out of there!" Uraraka screamed.

The shadows retreated and they were all left to watch in horror as Deku slammed a fist into the ground. Simply speaking, it blew everyone out of the water, heroes and villains alike, the ground rippling like a tidal wave. Uraraka was thrown backwards, but hit some rubble so that she didn't go far. It was still painful and hard. She hit her head and blacked out for who knew how long.

When she came to, Uraraka slowly opened her eyes and pushed herself up, her entire body screaming in pain, her ears ringing, and her head throbbing. She gingerly touched the back of her head and winced when she felt something sticky and wet, her fingers coming back with blood. No wonder her head hurt so much, but she couldn't think about it for too long. It was difficult to focus her vision, much less her thoughts. When she tried to sit up further, her body protested and she fell back down again, her hands scraping on the debris.

Lying there on the ground with her head turned to the side, Uraraka blinked her eyes and tried to focus. As far as she could tell, nearly everyone else was down as well. She caught sight of Aizawa's scarves, but he wasn't moving and they looked stained with blood. There seemed to be a flicker of Endeavor's flames near him, but they were barely there, as if he was coming in and out of consciousness. The whole place was destroyed, looking as if someone had dropped a bomb in the middle of the street. The building they'd been in earlier was gone, having collapsed in on itself. Where were the others? Had Iida been able to find Tsu and Kirishima? Had they been able to get out of the area?

Gods, where was Bakugou? He'd been so close to where Deku had exploded.

Movement to her left caught her eyes and she watched as Dabi and the ground villain appeared in the clearing of the smoke. The ground villain must have used his quirk to protect them both from the quake caused by Deku. Dabi was nudging something with his foot as he wiped blood from his mouth with the back of his hand, his blue eyes glowing dimly in the light of the fires and a hint of interest on his otherwise cold face. She managed to scoot a little to get a glimpse of what Dabi was looking at and felt her breath stolen away when she saw that it was an unconscious Todoroki, his right half patchy with ice and steam coming from his left.

"There, there, stay still," she heard Deku sigh in a calming but exhausted tone. With some difficulty, Uraraka pushed herself up so that she could get a better view of him. He was leaning over someone, a knee pressed deep into their back, an almost gentle look on his face. "I wouldn't struggle if I was you. After taking a hit like that, even indirectly, you must be in a lot of pain, Kacchan."

Bakugou. Deku was leaning over Bakugou. Uraraka's heart jumped. She tried to get up, but it was a struggle. She couldn't tell if she'd broken anything, but her head was so dizzy. His costume was burnt on his right leg, showing red and angry skin, where one of Bakugou's explosions must have hit him, but he was the one still standing while Bakugou was on the ground.

"I-I'll kill you, D-Deku," Bakugou said through gritted teeth.

Deku tossed his head back and let out another sigh. His right arm was shaking slightly, so he used his left to grab Bakugou by his hair. "I know." He slammed Bakugou's face into the ground and Uraraka twitched. "And I know. I really should just kill you now." He did it again, like that Nomu had done Aizawa during the USJ Incident their first year. "All those stories about how villains get caught because they couldn't stop talking or let a personal grudge get the best of them?"

Blood spilled out of Bakugou's nose and he spit out some more when Deku let go of his head. "Why d-don't you just sh-shut up then?"

"Oh, Kacchan, you didn't think this was just about Ochako, did you?" Deku asked in a voice that brought tears to Uraraka's eyes. It wasn't anger or disgust or anything like that. It was _hurt_. It was _pain_. It was all the awful things that Bakugou had done to Deku when they were kids before some sort of respect had been born. Even Bakugou stilled upon hearing that voice. "All those years, all those days, when I was just trying to be nice because I admired you and you were so strong. I wanted to be just like you – but you were a _monster_."

Uraraka clawed toward them, digging her way through the dirt and rubble, gathering more scrapes and bruises as she went along, the thin material of her outfit catching on rocks and tearing. She had to get to them. She wasn't sure what she could do, but she had to do something. "Deku…"

"It amazes me," Deku continued, his words taking on a disdainful tone, "the kind of trash they'll let become heroes these days. You were a nightmare, Kacchan. Do you know how many times I had to go to the nurse's office after getting a beating from you? How many burns I had to fix up on my own? How many outfits my mother had to either repair or just throw away because they were too destroyed?"

Bakugou was silent, as he should be. There was still anger in him, of course, but it bled into something else that she couldn't read from where she was on the ground. The left side of his face was pressed into the ground and he stared up at Deku with one red eye, blood seeping over it from a cut over his eyebrow. He was still, the only movement coming from his chest as he struggled to breathe with Deku leaning on top of him.

"That quirk of yours… So strong, so destructive… You never once used it for good until UA. All you knew how to do was hurt and so that's what you did. Now does sound like like a hero to you?" Deku leaned down closer to Bakugou and dug his knee further into Bakugou's back when he didn't answer. "Does it?"

"Screw you," Bakugou gasped.

Deku pulled upright, a rather smug expression on his face, like he'd expected that response. "You're only as strong as your quirk and I was nothing compared to you then. Look at us now!" He pulled something out of his boot and held it up in the air. Uraraka's eyes widened when she saw the knife gleaming in the light of the fire. "Your quirk comes from secreting sweat from your palms, right? Have you ever wondered if you'd still have a quirk if you didn't have hands?" He grinned in amusement. "I have. You know, I wondered how you'd feel if you were quirkless. Not so I could treat you as you did me, but so you could learn some humility. So you could understand what it truly means to be a hero."

 _Oh god, no, oh god, no!_ Panic flared in Uraraka's mind as she watched Deku spin the knife delicately between his fingers. Bakugou began to struggle again, but then Deku used his quirk to still him and Bakugou grunted in pain as he was shoved harder into the ground.

"I don't think I'll use my quirk for this. I _deserve_ to take my time."

"Deku!" Uraraka managed to cry out. "Deku, please!"

This was too much. She couldn't handle it. There would be no going back.

Deku paused, the knife right over Bakugou's right wrist. "You know what he did to me? You know what he said?" She didn't reply, knowing that it was his time to talk. This was his moment. "The day that sludge villain attacked him and I jumped in to help him despite being weak and afraid, Kacchan told me to throw myself off the roof. He told me to kill myself." His hand shook. "He probably would've laughed about it had I done it. What kind of hero does something like that?"

"They don't," Uraraka said. She pushed herself up, cringing as she did so, but then she grabbed onto some of the upturned street and got to her feet. "They don't do this either."

The knife was trembling a hair over Bakugou's wrist. "He doesn't deserve a quirk like this. He doesn't deserve to be called a hero. He isn't one." Tears appeared in his eyes. So emotional, her Deku, he felt everything. He felt so much. He never hid how he felt either. "Kacchan might have been the hero in his story, but he was the villain in mine."

He lifted the knife, ready to bring it back down, and Uraraka exclaimed, "You're right!" and Deku halted. He turned to look at her. She took a shaky step towards him. "You're right. He's…terrible. He's rude, selfish, and an arrogant bastard." She didn't look at Bakugou as she spoke, only at Deku, who stared back at her. She didn't want to see the look on Bakugou's face, whether it was shocked, confused, or nothing at all. She didn't want to know. "But I don't want to see you do this either." She held out a hand. "Take me with you."

Deku blinked. "What?"

"Take me with you," Uraraka repeated, stronger this time.

Bakugou jerked from his spot on the ground and this time Deku didn't push him down harder, just stayed in position. "Uraraka, don't–"

"Shut up, Bakugou, this doesn't concern you," Uraraka interrupted, not unkindly. He went silent though. A small, tremulous smile appeared on Deku's face. "I'm starting to get it now, I think. How can a society be good when they allow bad people to become heroes? It's not fair. I…I don't want that. But I don't want this either. I'm still a hero to you, aren't I?" He slowly nodded his head, almost mesmerized. Her hand started to shake the longer she held it out to him. "I'll do whatever you want, Deku. Just don't do this. Please, for me. Let's just go. Take me away from here. Take me with you."

 _It's you. It's always been you._

There was nothing but the crackle of fire around them and the wind until finally she watched as Deku sheathed the knife back in his boot and step up. Before Bakugou could attempt to get up, Deku hooked a foot underneath him and kicked him hard so that he flung to the side and smacked into a wall. He didn't get back up or even move. Uraraka flinched, but she said nothing, just continued to hold out her hand. When Deku told a hold of it, she tried to breathe steadily.

"We're done here," Deku decided. He tugged her closer to him. He didn't look just happy as he looked her in the eyes; he looked relieved. His eyes flickered behind her and he furrowed his brow. "What do you think you're doing?"

Uraraka turned around and brought a hand to cover her mouth when she saw a warp gate appear and then Dabi lift an unconscious Todoroki over his shoulder in front of it. Todoroki was by no means small. He'd been fairly tall when Uraraka had first met him back when they were fifteen. But despite being thin, Dabi carried him like a sack of flour. Todoroki hung limp, his feet and hands swaying as Dabi moved and his hair hanging over his grey and blue eyes.

"You get your toy," Dabi replied. "Why can't I have mine?"

Deku huffed. "That wasn't the plan. We're supposed to kill him." He didn't sound angry, just worn down.

"What if we find a better use for him?" Dabi countered, a sly grin on his face. It looked eerie on him. "What if he's better to us alive?" Deku tilted his head in thought. "You don't really want to kill him, do you?"

"He could…come in handy…" Deku murmured.

Dabi hoisted Todoroki further on his shoulder. "I think it could turn into a new opportunity." He jabbed a finger back where Endeavor was coming to. "Plus, it'll really stick it to that bastard if we've got his precious, little Shoto." He took a few steps back towards the warp gate. "C'mon, Midoriya, it'll be fun. We'll all be one big, happy family."

Uraraka didn't think that Todoroki would be happy about any of this. When he came to and found out that she had willingly gone with Deku, he was going to be infuriated. Still, she hadn't known what else to do. She couldn't let Deku freaking cut off Bakugou's hand. Uraraka suddenly felt as if she'd overused her quirk and maybe she had and the adrenaline was just now wearing off. My gods, would Deku have really gone through that? How horrible had Bakugou been? Deku had talked about it some, but he'd always brushed it off in the end before.

"What are you going to do with Todoroki?" Uraraka asked in a quiet voice as Deku guided her towards the warp gate. She was almost too afraid to ask, but knew she had to even if she didn't get an answer.

"It'll be for his own good," Deku insisted, though it wasn't much of an answer. "I mean, I won't lie. It's going to hurt – it did with me – but this will be for the best." He nodded his head enthusiastically, but his eyes were distant, like his mind was lost in thoughts again and she couldn't really reach him. "Yeah, this is much better. I wasn't really savoring the idea of killing him."

He swung an arm around her and kissed her on the temple. She was still dizzy and weak from his last attack, so he was very nearly supporting her. She didn't look back until the very end when they turned around. Bakugou was shoving himself to his feet with Kirishima's help, but Uraraka couldn't feel relief at the redhead's appearance from the way Bakugou was swaying dangerously and how damaged they both looked. When she and Bakugou connected eyes, the first thing she saw was rage – but then behind it, clear as day, fear. She couldn't remember seeing that in him ever before. She wondered if Deku could see the desperation in Bakugou as he tried to fire off a few pitiful explosions.

Maybe Deku had, but his warning goodbye, "Stay back, Kacchan," and the protective way he held Uraraka against him had Bakugou freezing. The last thing she saw was Bakugou's horrified face. Hopefully he saw her mouth the words and he believed her.

 _I'm sorry._

Gods, she was. She really was. She couldn't keep her promise to him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes:** So this chapter and the next two will be from Bakugou's POV. That's on purpose. I basically wanted everyone to feel the same as Bakugou in wondering what the hell is happening to Uraraka and Todoroki, where they are, and if they're okay. (Spoiler alert: uh, they're not.)

* * *

"Stay back, Kacchan."

Bakugou froze on the spot. Having his words from years ago thrown back at him by Deku made it feel like the whole world had been pulled out from underneath his feet. If it wasn't for Kirishima holding him up, he would've collapsed. He had one arm slung over Kirishima's shoulders while his other hung limp at his side. He could only watch as Deku pulled Uraraka against him possessively, as if proclaiming, _She's mine; you lose._

Uraraka mouthed the words that he'd never wanted to hear or see her say ( _I'm sorry_ ) and then they were all gone, disappearing through the warp gate.

No, no, no, this wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. His mind was screaming at him to move, to run to her, to do something, but he couldn't do anything. His body wouldn't cooperate. Even if it did, he wasn't sure if he could do more than limp forward. There was nothing to reach anymore, but he couldn't just stand here.

"Uraraka- we have to-" He didn't know what he had to do. He didn't know where to go. His mind was trying to jump through hoops in order to figure out the next step, but it felt like he was leaping into a black hole and there was no solid ground for him to land on. "We can't just stay here."

"There's nothing we can do right now," Kirishima told him, regret lacing every word.

Bakugou tried to rip himself out of his friend's grip and snarled, "Fuck that," but then he staggered and fell down to his knees, almost falling on his face when his right arm buckled underneath him. The muscles in his arms were strained beyond belief and the veins were bulging from overuse of his quirk. Both of his gauntlets had been broken in the fight. At least he could move his right arm, but his left hung limply and was beginning to go from throbbing to sending sharp pains all the way up it, which probably meant it was broken.

His gaze fell on his left hand. It had been the one that Deku had been prepared to hack off with a knife until Uraraka had stopped him.

Her words bounced around in his head in between the pain and anger. Rude, selfish, and an arrogant bastard. They hadn't hurt. He'd heard much worse. He knew that he was much worse at times. She wouldn't look at him and he'd known that she was just saying those things to placate Deku. It didn't mean she hadn't thought those things about him before, but they'd moved past that.

 _Take me with you._

An angry, desperate growl fought its way out of Bakugou as he pressed his forehead against the ground and then he screamed. Kirishima let him, saying nothing, as everything spilled out of him. Rage, humiliation, despair, and shame all poured out of him with that scream, tears pricking his eyes. He hadn't let that happen in a long time, but the smoke stung his eyes and his entire body ached and he was so furious that things had fallen apart so much.

Uraraka had sacrificed herself to save him.

She shouldn't have had to do that - it was the last thing he'd wanted - but he had been weak. He was too weak. And it killed him to admit that, but if he'd just been stronger, if he'd paid closer attention, if he had gone straight for Deku instead of fighting with Dabi and getting stuck in that shadow villain's grip, if he'd been smarter, if he'd protected her more… None of this should have happened. He'd promised to take care of this - to keep her safe and to get Deku - and instead he'd lost them both.

He'd failed her. It hit him as hard as one of Deku's punches. He had to stop screaming or stop breathing and he sucked in a gasp of air, still bent over, now from the pain. Not only had Deku escaped them again, but he and his villains had destroyed the street, collapsed a building, and taken hostages. Along with Uraraka, they had taken Todoroki, which was an even lower blow than Bakugou had expected. Todoroki would have been fine, but he'd thrown up that last wall of ice at the last second to protect the heroes behind him and the blast of Deku's punch to the ground had hit him hard.

Bakugou hadn't just failed. It had been a disaster. They didn't even know if Kaminari was alive. It looked as if someone had dropped a bomb on the street. It was nothing but rubble, metal bars sticking out of the debris from the broken building and glass littered everywhere like sand. Red and blue fire flickered around them, reminders of Todoroki and Dabi, and a fire hydrant was spewing water like a fountain. There was no hiding this. They had worried about Deku's ability to cause destruction and he'd more than confirmed their worst fears.

Bakugou tried to drag himself to his feet, but he stumbled again and Kirishima wrapped an arm around Bakugou's waist to keep him upright. The pressure on his chest hurt, like his ribs had been broken again. His vision swam, going blurry and dark before coming back, and he forced himself to stand up straight. It took him a second before he realized his right eye was so blurry because blood was falling into it and it had started to swell.

"I fucked up," Bakugou mumbled, his energy draining. He was coming down from his adrenaline rush, so his body and mind were letting him know just how bad in shape he was and he felt like he was crumbling. "I told her that I'd keep her safe and I lost her and Todoroki."

"It's not just on you," Kirishima told him, like that was some sort of comfort. He didn't care if they were all in this together. He had promised her. Bakugou fell against Kirishima, in too much pain to be embarrassed about leaning on him. "Hang in there, man."

Ambulances could be dimly heard in the distance, but Bakugou felt himself fading fast. He did his best to cling to consciousness, using his pain as a focal point, but it was hard to do when his entire body ached, as if he'd been hit by a train. Maybe fighting Deku at this level was equivalent to that. Next time though, he'd have to force that train off the track and destroy it.

"Uraraka…" Bakugou's head lolled against Kirishima's shoulder, smearing the boy's bruised skin with his blood.

"I know," Kirishima sighed. "She looked…"

Determined. Accepting. Terrified.

"We've gotta get them back," Bakugou said, trying to clench his good hand but unable to muster the strength. He couldn't remember feeling so drained in his life.

"We will," Kirishima replied, his voice sounding far away despite being right next to him. The world started to blur and dim around Bakugou and he felt himself slipping further into darkness. "Bakugou?"

There was someone else in front of him, large and bright, orange like fire, and Bakugou grumbled, "Turn off your quirk, Half and Half…" before remembering that Todoroki was gone and then he fell forward into nothing, sagging completely in Kirishima's hold as the last of the adrenaline left his body. The last thing he thought of was the look on Uraraka's brave face and scared eyes, as if she telling him that she had to do it. She had to save him.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

* * *

The first thing Bakugou noticed upon coming to was that his body felt like one big bruise. The second thing was that he was surrounded by softness, like he was enveloped in a cloud. The third thing, when he opened his eyes, was that everything was fucking bright. He scowled at the whiteness and went to throw his left arm over his face to shield his eyes from the light, but pain shot like lightning down his arm from his elbow to his fingertips, causing him to stiffen his whole body until the pain calmed down to a throb.

"Oh, you're awake already," a familiar woman's voice said.

Bakugou opened his eyes again and found himself glaring into the face of Recovery Girl. Judging from the room and the smell of antiseptic, he was in a hospital instead of UA. Their injuries must have been severe enough where they had to bring her to them after stabilizing them.

At least that was all Bakugou could manage to come up with. His brain felt muddled, like he was in a bog. Even though he hated them, they must've given him some sort of painkiller. The hospital bed wasn't super soft, but it was better than the concrete rubble he'd been shoved into multiple times. His light blue clothes were loose and gentle compared to his hero costume. Monitors beeped beside him and he could hear muffled voices from outside the room. All of it made him feel incredibly removed from reality.

Still, Bakugou was stubborn if nothing else, so he used his good arm to shove himself into an upright position. To her credit, Recovery Girl didn't try to stop him, just eyed him with displeasure. When he was finally sitting up, he looked down at himself. His left arm was in a white cast from his elbow down past his fingers. He had bandages around his chest all the way up to his neck and multiple patches on his right arm for burns and cuts. He could feel stitching over his right eyebrow, but what he really felt the most, besides his left arm, was how sore his face was.

"My main concern was your face," Recovery Girl explained when he gingerly touched his left cheek and nose. It felt as if he'd been punched in the face a few times, but it was more like he'd been slammed face first into the concrete. Deku had managed to pull some of his hair out of the back of his head too while doing that. "Not to keep you handsome, of course - you're arrogant as it is - but you had a broken nose, fractured left zygoma, and a small orbital fracture."

So basically his whole face had been fucked. No wonder he'd had trouble seeing straight and his brain had been pounding when Kirishima had tried to help him stand. "And my arm?"

"They operated on it, which will help the healing process of my quirk," Recovery Girl explained, "but we must wait before I can use it on you again."

Bakugou shook his head. "Bullshit. I need it fixed now."

"You cannot-"

"Fix it now," Bakugou repeated in a growl, awkwardly shoving it in her direction despite the pain.

Recovery Girl did no such thing, instead fixing a hard gaze on him. "If I were to use my quirk on you so soon to fix such a strenuous injury, you would spend another two days unconscious." He clenched his good hand into a fist, fighting the urge to let off an explosion. "Simply put, your body cannot handle it. Would you rather be healed now and unconscious or healed later and aware?"

Her logic was sound, which just pissed him off even more. Bakugou grit his teeth and sat back in the bed, turning away from her. He couldn't afford to be unconscious any longer than necessary and that included regular sleep. He had to be awake so that he could think, plan, and prepare. Not only did his body have to recover, but he needed to recover Uraraka and Todoroki as well.

Damn him for getting caught too. Bakugou didn't want to think about what Dabi had been thinking when he'd decided to take Todoroki, but it couldn't be helped. Torture? Ransom? Or something worse? Could whatever had been done to Deku be done to Todoroki? It was a very unpleasant thought, but one he needed to consider and could not if he was lying unconscious in a hospital bed from overexerting himself. Damn his body for not being strong enough.

His gaze fell to the left, away from Recovery Girl, and he halted when he realized that he wasn't the only one lying in a hospital bed in the room. Kirishima was knocked out in a bed two meters away from him, for once sleeping quietly when Bakugou knew for a fact that the other boy snored something fierce. It must have been a sleep either induced by Recovery Girl's quirk or medicine, maybe both. There were bandages on his arms as well and a patch on the side of his face, which struck Bakugou as unnatural. His hardening quirk kept him from injuries that required things like that.

"He pushed his quirk past his limit," Recovery Girl told him even though he hadn't asked. The confused look on Bakugou's face must have clued her in on what he was thinking. Of course he knew that Kirishima had a limit - every quirk had a limit - but he'd never seen it so obviously. "When the building partially collapsed, he sheltered Froppy from the debris, but he was trapped under there for a while and was forced to constantly use his quirk or the two of them would've been crushed."

So focused on fighting Deku alongside Todoroki the second the green-haired shit had jumped down into the fight, Bakugou hadn't noticed that Kirishima was missing. He'd just assumed that Kirishima was off fighting another villain and couldn't get away to help them. All Bakugou had been able to think about was getting Deku once he showed his stupid mug. By the time he'd gotten the first semblance of a breather when Uraraka convinced Deku to not mutilate him, Kirishima had been there at Bakugou's side like he'd never left it, so Bakugou hadn't thought to ask where he'd been.

"Ironically, the second blast caused by Midoriya is what saved him," Recovery Girl continued. "It collapsed the rest of the building, but the aftershock knocked the large rubble off him."

"Great, he's still a fucking hero somehow," Bakugou grumbled. Unable to rub his face, which was healed but still had a dull throb of pain to remind him of what had happened, he laid back in the bed, careful not to flop since it would only exacerbate what he figured were a few re-broken ribs, and stared up at the white ceiling. "Can I at least get out of this room for a while?"

"Of course, I'll get a wheelchair for you."

Bakugou jerked to snarl at her, "I don't need a damn-"

"Unless you want to fall flat on your face five steps outside of your room, I highly suggest using a wheelchair," Recovery Girl interrupted without batting an eyelash. Bakugou had to fight the urge to throw himself out of the bed or blow it up entirely. She was treating him like he was a student again and it was maddening. He was a pro hero, damnit, and he didn't have time for this shit.

He didn't have time for his body to not cooperate with him.

After Recovery Girl fetched him a wheelchair, Bakugou shooed her away. He didn't need her help getting in it. She gave him one last look as he threw the covers off and swung his legs over the side of the bed, but then let out a sigh and walked out the door, washing her hands of him.

With her out of the room, he shoved the wheelchair away from the bed. Like hell he was going to use that. The ground was cold when he was feet touched the floor and he slowly stood up, testing his strength. He grit his teeth when he felt just how much his legs wobbled and how weak his body was. It felt like he might crumple to the ground like that collapsed building. Still, he forced himself to take one step, then another, and another until he was at the door.

Then his right knee buckled and he fell. He would've fallen down completely had he not had a hold of the handle and he awkwardly caught himself, face smashed up against the door. He managed to pull himself up with a shaky arm, but was panting furiously and worn down by the time he was straight. Damnit. Recovery Girl's quirk really had done a number on him. His face must have been more jacked up than he'd realized.

Standing there and catching his breath, Bakugou eyed the wheelchair with disdain. He wanted to get out of this room and find everybody else. He needed to know what was going on. He had to do something. However, the idea of people seeing him use a wheelchair made Bakugou's stomach curl. He didn't want people to see him and know that he was feeling weak. He couldn't show that to anyone. He didn't need help. He didn't need anything.

His pride won out and Bakugou slunk back to the bed, nearly collapsing in it the second he was close. Just another hour of rest and then he'd be good to go. His body was screaming at him from the effort it had taken him to walk to the door and back. Even if his mind was raging, his body was quieting down. It still hurt like hell, but he could feel himself slipping back into sleep, his eyelids drooping heavily as his body sank into the bed.

He didn't want to sleep though. His mind was running wild. Thoughts of Uraraka and what she was going through - what Deku could be doing with her in his grasp now - surrounded by all those villains - not to mention whatever plans they had for Todoroki - and shit, he still didn't know if Kaminari was alive, if anyone else had survived, he needed to be awake-

* * *

When Bakugou woke up the next time, his body felt remarkably better, although he wasn't about to admit it. The downside was that his mind was nothing but rage. How dare his body fail him like this? He didn't have time for any of this. Only when all of this was over could he rest and recuperate. Of course, that wasn't how things worked, but it felt wrong to lie in a bed while Uraraka was who knew were. It made him sick to think that she had been gone for over a day already while he'd been stuck recovering.

Well the time for rest was over. Recovery Girl was going to fix the rest of him today and then he'd be good to go.

This time, when Bakugou got out of bed, his legs didn't shake. Kirishima was sitting up in his bed, watching warily as Bakugou tested his knees and swung his right arm in a circle to check his flexibility. Besides his left arm, he felt ready to go another round. Apparently he didn't look it, judging from Kirishima's expression, but Bakugou could not give less of a shit about that.

"Where's Kaminari?" Bakugou demanded.

"He came in earlier while you were still out of it," Kirishima told him, "so he's probably still around somewhere."

That didn't do a single thing to help him, but Bakugou said nothing as he strode out of the room. Kirishima had been awake and looking mostly healed by the time Bakugou had woken up and he'd explained everything that he had learned while Bakugou's body had been busy sucking.

It had been a great relief to find out that Kaminari was not only alive but barely hurt. Despite the fact that he had been the one kidnapped, his only injuries had been a broken finger, bruises on her wrists and ankles, and his right arm pulled out of socket. They'd popped it back in and healed his finger quick. He had been on the roof with Deku and Kurogiri when the fight had begun, bound too tightly and connected to a battery so that he would've only managed to shock himself stupid if he tried anything. It had been Tsuyu who had found him. Thanks to Kirishima protecting her, she had come out with minor injuries as well.

All in all, it could've been worse. No one had died, which was a miracle in itself, and they'd even managed to capture two of the villains, mostly because they had gotten caught in Deku's last powerful as hell blast. It appeared as if the League did not care about collateral damage on their side either. But Bakugou couldn't feel good about anything knowing that they had lost two of their own as well. It felt like a much bigger loss.

It _felt_ like there was a hole in Bakugou's chest and no amount of anger could fill it. Uraraka was _gone_.

By chance, Bakugou found Kaminari, Iida, and Tsuyu stepping out of Aizawa's room, chattering quietly amongst themselves. Besides Bakugou and Kirishima, Aizawa had taken some of the worst damage. He'd been trying to stop the shadow villain from shielding Deku from his sight and therefore his quirk when Deku had let off that punch that had blown everyone to high hell. Todoroki's ice wall hadn't reached Aizawa in time. Recovery Girl had not been able to see to all of them; luckily, some doctors had healing quirks in order to lend a hand.

Iida caught sight of Bakugou barrelling towards them first. "Oh, Bakugou, should you be up-?"

"I need to talk to you," Bakugou cut in, snatching Kaminari by the arm. He knew that he didn't look much with his left arm in a cast and sling and in light blue hospital pants, shirt, and slippers, but at least all his bandages had been taken off. Besides, he could still fire off huge as hell explosions with his right arm if he needed to be threatening. The look on his face must have been good enough though since Kaminari didn't fight him at all and allowed himself to be dragged to an empty waiting room. "Talk."

Kaminari shuffled on his feet. "I don't know what you want me to tell you."

"Everything," Bakugou stressed, like it was that simple. "What did Deku talk about? Did the villains say anything that might give us a clue about what they want or where their base is located? Anything about what they might want with Todoroki or what Deku planned to do if he got Uraraka?"

"I don't really…" Kaminari clenched his fists at his side and looked down at his feet, shame written all over his face. It was a wasted emotion in Bakugou's opinion, as it did absolutely nothing to help them, but it was eating away at his gut as well no matter how hard he tried to drown it. "Midoriya was so calm. It was like he was actually pleased to see me. He just wanted to chat about how everyone was doing. It was _weird_. But the whole time he kept a tight grip on me and when he _smiled_... I thought he was going to break my arm if I so much as sneezed out of line."

Kaminari's quirk was a lot stronger than a lot of people realized. Had he let off one of his huge shocks, he could have knocked everyone out, Deku included. But of course Deku had been smart enough to realize that, using those thick rubber gloves to ensure that he was safe while holding onto Kaminari. By neutralizing Kaminari's quirk, it had kept him from fighting back. He might have gotten all the other villains, but Deku would've still been able to kill him. By staying alive, he could at least try to get some information, but that wasn't exactly Kaminari's forte.

"What did you tell him?" Bakugou questioned.

"Just like every day, boring stuff," Kaminari said. "I kept worrying that I might say something important and he'd use it against us, but he didn't really seem to mind. He liked hearing all of it. Said he missed us sometimes."

Sometimes. Bakugou snorted. How fucking quaint.

"What about the other villains?"

"They didn't talk much," Kaminari admitted, "but when they did, it was mostly in the kitchen where I couldn't hear what they were saying exactly." He unclenched his hands and finally brought his gaze back up to Bakugou. "I think they were kind of scared of Midoriya. Like they were worried that they might say something to set him off. Dabi and Kurogiri were the only ones that really talked to him and Kurogiri was the only one to stay in the room with him the entire time."

Well that was interesting. When Todoroki had been squaring off alone with them, Deku had knocked another villain out of his way. The hit and his crash into Todoroki's car had been enough to kill him. He'd also threatened Dabi after the latter had almost hit her with his flames. Plus, he'd also killed villains for Uraraka. Was Deku so unstable that he was attacking and snapping at other League members? To think that he was this frightening to both heroes and villains…

Did that suggest Deku might be easier to turn back or that he was a lost cause?

"The villain with the knives," Kaminari continued, dragging Bakugou out of his thoughts, "she talked to me some. Nothing about where they were or anything. She was playing with one of her knives, going on about how long it took to skin a person, trying to scare me, but Midoriya shooed her away. Being saved from torture by the guy who was planning on torturing me later made things so much worse."

"So kind of him," Bakugou said dryly. Gods, what was wrong with Deku? It was like he couldn't decide what he wanted to do. He had a set of rules that had to be followed, but none of them made sense.

"She did mention that she wanted to, uh, play with Todoroki," Kaminari said uncomfortably, fidgeting again, "but Dabi told her that Todoroki wasn't hers. Midoriya didn't say anything, just watched them, and then went back to asking me about All Might like he hadn't heard them."

They had known that Todoroki was a target, alongside Bakugou himself, but it seemed as if the League had planned on who took who. Deku had known that Todoroki would come to face him again. They had needed the debilitating strength of his quirk. Dabi had also been the one to suggest taking Todoroki with them instead of killing him. Bakugou couldn't be for sure, seeing as how his memory of those last few minutes were foggy and dimmed from the pain, but Deku had almost seemed relieved at the idea.

Then the rest of Kaminari's statement hit Bakugou upside the head and he snapped back to attention. "Deku was asking about All Might?"

Kaminari nodded his head. "Yeah, he wanted to know how All Might was doing - if he was getting any weaker, how he had handled Deku's supposed death. Deku knew that he was still teaching, but that was about it." There was a genuinely sad look on Kaminari's face. "He seemed pretty...pleased when I told him that All Might had been crushed by his death. He even laughed with some of the other villains about it." He rubbed his face with his hands, as if trying to wipe the memory of the way. "It was so messed up, Bakugou, way more than I thought when Uraraka told us everything."

Deku's reaction towards All Might was troubling at the least. He, Todoroki, and Uraraka had talked over the idea that Deku's focus might switch over to All Might, but none of them had known what that focus might entail, if it would be (kind of) positive like Uraraka's or (very) negative like Bakugou's. He couldn't seem to decide what he wanted to do with Todoroki, as if whatever mental conditioning he'd gone through could only do so much.

It appeared as if they'd managed to twist Deku's view of All Might somehow though. Gone was the total admiration, respect, and love. Replaced by what though? It sounded like he'd enjoyed hearing that All Might was suffering. Was there anger towards his former mentor? Hatred even? What could they have done to turn Deku's adoration of All Might into that? Bakugou's real concern was if Deku planned on doing anything about it. Was All Might a target or an afterthought?

"I thought…" Kaminari's hands had started to shake and he shoved them into his pockets, probably hoping that Bakugou hadn't noticed. "I really thought he was going to kill me or Kurogiri was after Deku jumped into the fight. I'd served my purpose as bait, you know? What good was I alive?"

"Kurogiri didn't say anything or do anything?" Bakugou prompted, trying to pull him back on track. It wouldn't do him any good to dwell right now on what could've or should've happened. That was for later. He'd fallen into that pit a few times already and barely managed to pull himself out.

Kaminari scrunched up his face in thought. "Well, he was watching the fight, probably so he'd know when to make a warp gate. I think I heard him say something like, 'I hope he knows what he's doing,' but I'm not for sure. They'd already made me use my quirk while attached the battery so I was a little out of it."

What could that have meant? Did the League not have confidence in Deku? If not, then why were they practically letting him run lose and do whatever he wanted? Bakugou was certain that Deku's obsession with Uraraka could jeopardize the League of Villains' plans. It brought them all out into broad daylight. Not to mention that if anyone was going to snap Deku out of it, she had one of the best chances. Deku had loved her something silly. _Did_ love her. When Bakugou had told Deku of those bruises on her wrists, he'd freaked out and almost split in half.

There were so many questions, little to no answers, and not nearly enough time. A headache was starting to build and Bakugou couldn't rub it away.

"I'm sorry, Bakugou," Kaminari mumbled. "I should've done more. I should've fought back harder. You wouldn't have let them get you like that."

Bakugou couldn't say anything. He _had_ let them get him once, back during their first year at the camping trip when he'd been kidnapped by League and strapped to a chair so they could have a chat with him. He'd been in Kaminari's shoes before and he hated being reminded of it. Yeah, they were older and stronger now, but that didn't change the severity of Kaminari's situation. The fact that Deku had done something so similar with one of their friends when Deku himself had been part of the group to save Bakugou from those villains made this sting all the more.

"I let Uraraka and Todoroki down."

On some level, Bakugou knew that he should say something now. Give him some sort of comfort. Tell him that he was wrong. Remind him that they would get their friends back. Promise to smack some sense into Deku.

But then he thought of how Deku had forced him onto the ground with just his knee and the way the spots of fire around them had reflected off of the knife as Deku twirled it in his hand. He thought of how still he'd gone when Deku had begun to ramble about their childhood. The despair and rage in Deku's voice had cut him almost as deep as any knife. He couldn't move. Deku had been about to fucking cut his hand off and Bakugou couldn't move. In the end, Uraraka had been forced to save him.

And so he couldn't tell Kaminari that he was wrong, not when Bakugou thought the same thing about himself.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes:** Thank you to everyone who is reading, favoriting, and following! Comments give me life! Also many thanks to youseimanami on tumblr for collaborating with me on this chapter for a gorgeous piece of fanart. It's stunning and heartbreaking! Go check it out! (Links on here suck.) Also, something I wanted to say: I hope people aren't seeing Uraraka as a damsel in distress because that's not what she is at all! When she screamed in fear so that Deku had to "save" her, it was for strategic purposes to get him close to use her quirk on him and bring him into the fight where Aizawa could disable his quirk. Maybe this fic comes off as Bakugou and others needing to save her, but that's not the case. They want to help and protect her (along with Todoroki, my poor boy, and Bakugou, my idiot angry son). Sorry if it doesn't come off that way! Uraraka is definitely who I would say is the hero of this story.

* * *

Flexing the fingers of his now healed left hand, Bakugou tried to decide whether or not he wanted to deck the guy walking into the room. It had been almost three years since he'd last seen Shinsou Hitoshi and things hadn't gone well. Granted, that was how most of Bakugou's connections with people worked, but it was hard to get over with Shinsou in particular since Bakugou couldn't yell at him or anything. If he so much as opened his mouth to snarl back, the other guy would activate his quirk on Bakugou and make him look like an idiot.

"Do we really need him?" Bakugou asked Aizawa, turning his whole body to the side. He didn't want to even give Shinsou the idea that Bakugou was talking to him, just in case it enabled Shinsou to use his quirk.

Aizawa leveled Bakugou with a tired look that suggested he would rather do anything else in the world than explain things, but he had been the one to bring Shinsou into the fold. They were still in contact with one another after graduation. Made sense considering their quirks and perpetual look of exhaustion. "Out of everyone, Shinsou is the most experienced with brainwashing, as it is his quirk, and therefore would be best at spotting any anomalies in Midoriya's behavior that might suggest it has happened to him."

"Well, of course it's happened to him," Bakugou shot back. "All Deku has ever wanted was to be a hero, even when he-"

He bit his tongue, remembering that not everyone knew that Deku had been quirkless before he had come to U.A. Only a handful of people knew the truth about All Might passing on his One for All quirk to Deku. Bakugou shouldn't know, but Deku had half-assed confessed in a moment of weakness. It had taken him months to figure out he was telling the truth. Uraraka knew as well. To be honest, Bakugou wasn't sure who knew, so he just assumed that no one else did. Did Todoroki? Shit, did the League of Villains know now?

Great, as if there was something else they needed to worry about.

"Are you going to give me the video or not?" Shinsou asked in his bland tone.

Bakugou turned to glare at him and opened his mouth to snap back, but then shut it quickly before a word could slip out. A knowing grin worked its way onto Shinsou's face as he held out a hand. Bakugou snatched the disk out of Aizawa's hand and shoved it in Shinsou's direction. He took it with much less hostility and put it into the computer.

The footage was decent at best, but that was to be expected when a civilian was hiding in their apartment next to one of the most massive hero and villain fights. They had evacuated the area, but this stupid asshole had decided to ignore the warning signs. After Dabi had blown up the building across the street, he'd whipped out his phone and began recording the incident. The guy definitely wasn't going to be a director or cameraman for a movie any time soon, but he'd gotten the gist of it.

Luckily, Midnight had found him before he'd been able to do anything with the footage. He had been shaking life a leaf trying to escape the apartment complex and was knocked out by her fumes in an attempt to catch any other potential villains hiding inside. Naturally, when he'd come to, he had been terrified out of his mind, babbling about how he'd wanted to leave but he just couldn't leave his place. Midnight had confiscated his phone and found the video.

It was damning. Bakugou had watched it almost ten times now, unable to get it out of his head. On the video, it didn't look like he'd given it his all until he'd managed to escape the shadow villain. His fight with Deku alongside Todoroki had been more massive than he remembered, Todoroki's ice scaling up the walls of buildings and his own explosions lighting up the entire street. Uraraka's attacks had even looked larger than life. He could remember the rubble that she'd brought down on his head like a meteor shower, but she had been lifting huge pieces of concrete left and right like it was nothing.

That shadow villain's quirk had taken up an entire block and Bakugou watched again now in a removed way when the shadows blocked out Deku from Aizawa's view so he could activate his quirk. Nothing compared to the destruction that Deku had unleashed after that. The civilian's window had shattered in the explosion and even knocked him backwards. By the time he'd crawled back to the window to finish the video, Deku had been lording over Bakugou and twirling that knife around. It was jarring seeing himself in such a vulnerable state like that.

But it was even worse watching Uraraka get taken again. The way she held out her hand, like she was beckoning Deku to choose her over Bakugou. _Take me with you._ He'd replayed that part so many times, unable to look away from her. The determined set of her wounded body, the way her hand trembled in the air. She was scared, but she was strong too. She had known that she was making the biggest gamble of her life and the payoff was a lose/lose situation for her.

Deku should've killed him. Bakugou knew that in his heart. Deku could easily have killed him and taken her anyways, but he hadn't. He'd listened. He'd stopped. Yeah, he had sent Bakugou flying with a kick, but he hadn't chopped Bakugou's hand off and he hadn't stuck him with the knife. Even Todoroki had been spared, although they couldn't get their hopes up.

Everyone was so certain that Uraraka would be more or less okay, but they were deluding themselves. Deku's mind was so fickle right now. If she said or did anything that shattered his illusion of her, Bakugou was worried that something might really snap in Deku. Whatever Deku felt for her, it wasn't love anymore, not really, but a twisted version of it, an obsession. Uraraka might have known that, but it still hurt. It still played at the heart. Obsession could turn nasty very quickly though.

Once the video was done playing, Shinsou rewinded it to watch it again. Bakugou walked away, bile rising in the back of his throat along with his rage. He couldn't be here. He couldn't just stand here and watch her get taken away again. He had to do something, but he felt grounded and lost.

Being back in this stupid safe house was already starting to grate on Bakugou's nerves. With Uraraka gone, it didn't serve a purpose in his mind since there was no one to protect (with Todoroki gone, no one was going to lump him in that category, but he couldn't even revel in that), but they had decided to make it a base of operations. It made sense with all of Hatsume's equipment here, but he was wary since the League had a hold of two of their own and could find out the location of this place from them.

None of them were quite sure what would happen to either one of them. No sort of ransom had been given and things had been forebodingly quiet. What was going on? Had they killed Todoroki? Tortured him? Those weren't even the worst thought that had crossed Bakugou's mind. What if they would try to mess with Todoroki's mind like they had messed with Deku's? Taking on the two of them at once sounded like a nightmare.

Shit. All Might and Endeavor really had created the perfect weapons.

"Anything stand out?" Aizawa asked.

Shinsou leaned back in his seat and scratched his chin. "This is different from my quirk."

"So you believe that it is brainwashing?"

"Well, there are clear moments of hesitation," Shinsou put in. Bakugou snorted and then paused, wondering if that counted as a verbal response to activate his quirk or if he had to actually say a word. Shinsou glanced back at him, his expression as flat as his voice. "I'm not going to activate my quirk on you." Bakugou said nothing, just glared at him suspiciously. "This is a serious enough matter that I don't feel like humiliating you."

Bakugou worked his jaw, thinking it over, and begrudgingly said, "It sure as hell didn't seem like he hesitated. He was pretty excited to fight us." Nothing happened to him, so Shinsou had been telling the truth, at least for now. While he was much more willing to work with others, Uraraka had still pointed out that his natural instinct to distrust everyone was a weakness.

"He didn't cut your hand off," Shinsou pointed out, "and he didn't kill Todoroki. He hasn't killed anyone, besides a villain, in any of your confrontations with him so far."

"A moment of clarity?" Bakugou interjected.

"I don't think so. The emotional outbursts are what truly stand out."

Shinsou clicked to rewind the video to where Deku broke away from his fight with Bakugou and Todoroki to save Uraraka from the knife villain. Uraraka could've taken her on, but she'd allowed herself to get into a compromising situation to pull Deku into a position that would give Aizawa the chance to cancel out his quirk. It had worked. With just one terrified scream, she'd done more to take down Deku than Bakugou and Todoroki combined, playing him at his own game. At the time, he had thought she was in trouble and he'd almost moved to help her, but then Deku had beat him, switching gears so fast that it had taken Bakugou aback.

"He's a completely different person in this moment, like he breaks character," Shinsou said. "One second he's focused on fighting you two, the League's objective, but when Uraraka is in danger, a switch flips. You can see his entire body relaxing the second he's with her. It's hard to see because he's so fast, but he's so tensed up when he's talking and fighting."

He fast forwarded to the part where Deku had Bakugou pinned down to the ground with a knee. It made Bakugou uncomfortable to watch, seeing himself in a position like that. Though he would never admit it out loud, fear had cut through him in that moment where Deku had held the knife over his wrist. He'd never thought of what might happen to his quirk should something happen to his hands.

Now that Deku had brought it to the forefront of his mind, it was hard for him to not think about it. Those minutes, when Deku had dragged their past through the mud, all Bakugou had been able to think about was how he had been such a fucking child back then. He'd learned over time to not look down on others - that doing so only held him back - but back then, he had only thought of how much better he was than everyone else. He had instilled that thought in everyone, especially Deku, using fear and aggression.

No, that wasn't right. It had been with violence and the threat of more.

And fucking Deku had used the same damn tactic on him.

"This whole exchange confirmed it for me," Shinsou continued. "All that talking he does before moving to finish the job?"

"Yeah, he was trying to scare me," Bakugou said with a grunt. His words suggested that it hadn't worked, but they all knew that bravery was not the absence of fear and it was impossible to face this new Deku without feeling at least a hint of apprehension. "Or rambling like he did all the time. It was annoying then and it's annoying now."

Shinsou shook his head. "He was _stalling_."

The frown on Aizawa's face somehow deepened. "How so?"

"You don't see him obviously hesitating until Uraraka interrupts him, but you said that he talked about how villains get caught because they keep talking or let personal grudges get in the way." Shinsou tapped a finger on Deku on the screen. "I think some part of him knew what he was doing was wrong, but he couldn't override whatever he's been programmed to do, so he stalled until someone else could stop him."

"Sure didn't sound like it," Bakugou mumbled, folding his arms across his chest. "He was excited."

"Oh, I'm sure he was," Shinsou said, eyeing Bakugou like he might enjoy dissecting Bakugou as well. He responded with a sour expression. "The stalling was more of a subconscious decision. He probably wasn't even aware of it. You said it yourself: he's still in there, but it's been buried deep." Shinsou appeared thoughtful as he rewatched Deku threaten Bakugou on the screen. Did he have to watch it again? "With my quirk, a person is fully aware that they're being brainwashed, but there is nothing they can do. Midoriya is the only one to have been capable of breaking through it and I still don't know how."

"And this one?" Aizawa asked. "If he is under the influence of a brainwashing quirk. They're rare as is."

A grimace crossed Shinsou's features. "Judging from how unstable he is and how he switches back and forth, I would say that the quirk affects the person's emotions along with their mind. It would explain the extreme highs and lows, plus the switches. Some of his emotions and thoughts aren't exactly his own, but he feels them as such." He shook his head. "It must have been a painful process."

"Why do you say that?" Aizawa questioned.

"I just control a person's mind and body," Shinsou answered, shrugging his shoulders. "Midoriya looks as if he's had his mind _twisted_. He fought hard against my quirk, to the point of breaking his own finger. I can't imagine what he went through to struggle against his entire person being changed into something else. We all know Midoriya isn't a natural born villain. Quite the opposite. A lot must have been done to him in order to transform him into this...monstrosity."

They watched Uraraka talk Deku down from harming Bakugou any further. It didn't get easier with each watch, only making his stomach twist even further to the point where he felt sick with anger. Her hand trembling in the air as much as Deku's had been over Bakugou wrist. You could literally see the change in Deku. The rage turning to grief and then to joy. Even when he'd kicked Bakugou hard across the street, he had been calm. At ease. Peaceful. Like he could finally breathe.

It was almost a touching moment, if not for the violent air that surrounded him.

"You should have died," Shinsou told him, turning in the seat to look back at him. Bakugou didn't respond. "If Deku was truly evil now, he would have killed you and taken Uraraka with him anyways. He spared you."

"Shouldn't he have killed me if he was being controlled?" Bakugou countered.

"Not if he's not fully under control." Shinsou stood up and wiped his hands on his pants, as if washing himself of what he'd seen. "Either way, I suspect the next time you all cross paths with him will be much more unpleasant. He'll likely be forced to go under more conditioning to ensure that he doesn't let anyone survive."

"That look any pleasant to you?" Bakugou shot back.

Shinsou fixed him with an unsettling look that only he and maybe Aizawa could manage with their permanently exhausted expressions, like they were tired of how awful the world could be. "You're alive, aren't you?"

That shut Bakugou up, but it didn't make him any happier. If that had been Deku still holding himself back, he did not want to consider what it would look like when Deku finally didn't - or couldn't. He was still in there, clawing underneath whatever mask they had put over him, but it was clear that he was losing. Bakugou wanted to ask if Shinsou thought Uraraka would be safe, but didn't want an answer either. There could be no such thing as safe where she was. Even if Deku made sure none of the villains touched her, she was still in a den of snakes.

"With my quirk, a person can be snapped out of it if they're hurt or startled enough," Shinsou explained. "It used to be as small as a bump in the shoulder, but can now hold past a broken bone. It's still not fullproof from outside attacks though." He shook his head. "Midoriya took multiple hits from you and Todoroki that would've broken the hold of my quirk, but it doesn't phase him. This is an incredibly strong quirk on a mental level I haven't reached."

Aizawa fixed Shinsou with a critical look, one that Shinsou appeared to be rather familiar with judging from the frown on his face. "Could your quirk potentially stop him or cancel the other out?"

"Well, he's already broken it once before, but I am stronger now," Shinsou pointed out. "It could force both the twisted version of him and his real self to combat each other in order to break free of my quirk. Maybe it would cancel out the other brainwashing entirely." He held out his hands. "I don't know. Or it _could_ cause an actual psychological collapse. I don't think any of us want to see the outcome of that."

It reminded Bakugou of Deku on the rooftop the night of their first confrontation. How he had looked like he was being torn into two and he'd started to activate his quirk without realizing it like some sort of bomb ready to go off and bring everything down with it. If this destruction was Deku in control, then what was out of control?

Bakugou's phone ringing startled all of them out of their thoughts. Shinsou snorted at the ringtone itself - a rage-filled screaming song that Bakugou didn't think was that obvious but made Uraraka laugh every time she heard it - but then waved a hand, as if giving Bakugou permission to interrupt their conversation. Whatever. It better have been someone with good news or a lead.

It was Tsuyu, who was one of the last people he'd expected to call him. She had been shaken by Uraraka being taken. Before Bakugou could even say anything when he answered the call, Tsuyu said, "Turn on the news."

"Which channel?" Bakugou asked, a horrible feeling settling in his gut. Sometimes, her straightforwardness got on his damn nerves, but other times, he could appreciate it. He didn't know what he wanted right now, to be honest.

"Any of them."

That seemed to be the gist of the conversation, so Bakugou hung up the phone. A text would've sufficed. He strode forward to the computer, ignoring Aizawa's and Shinsou's questioning looks, and brought up the most popular news channel, only to get his world rocked by what he saw.

" **Symbol of Peace Turned Symbol of Terror?"**

The headline was in bold lettering on the bottom of the screen, which was currently playing clips from the very same video that they had just analyzed. There was Todoroki and Bakugou fighting Deku; Uraraka going up against that knife villain; Aizawa and Endeavor fighting five villains at once. Terrified, angry, and confused comments were flooding in so fast that it was almost impossible to read any of them. People were freaking out.

"I thought Midnight said that the footage was safe!" Bakugou exclaimed, rounding on Aizawa.

"She went through it," Aizawa insisted. "Nothing was sent."

"They could've simply deleted the sent messages," Bakugou snapped. "Idiots! This is the last thing we fucking need! It's gonna cause mass hysteria and push back against any heroes connected to him."

Aizawa shook his head. "The guy was delirious from fear. I don't think he was capable of sending someone a copy and covering his tracks."

"Unless it wasn't _his_ actions," Shinsou pointed out. "Why didn't he evacuate like everyone else?"

"He said he wanted to leave, but couldn't…" Aizawa trailed off and all three men looked at each other as a light bulb went off. The video had captured every damning thing. It showed off Deku at his best and the heroes at their worst. When they glanced back at the screen, they noticed that the news channel had zoomed in on the video as best as they could and were met of a grainy picture of Deku looking back directly into the camera, just as he had done with Uraraka's security camera that first day he'd resurfaced. "The civilian was being controlled as well."

Aizawa stepped away from him as he made a call to whoever was holding onto the guy that had taken the video. Bakugou's phone started going off repeatedly from calls and texts, but he ignored them all, unable to look away from the screen. It suddenly felt like the world was a different place. Everyone had loved Deku. It had been annoying as shit, but he had been adored by the public. He had taken his role in taking over for All Might with everything he had and, combined with that cheesy ass personality of his, he had made a splashy impact even before graduation.

However, the impossible strength that people had once revered him for now made them terrified of him. Seeing someone they had not only adored, but trusted and admired turned into a villain that would destroy a whole street and take down a building shook a lot of people. Some of the comments were about the video being faked. Others about how a villain with a transforming quirk must have been impersonating the dead hero. There were a few that proclaimed they had known all along that Deku was secretly no good - that he had been "too good to be true".

Those last ones made Bakugou laugh bitterly. They didn't know how good Deku was. They didn't know the boy who had taken on years of abuse from another boy whose strength he admired. They didn't know the boy who was still able to kind after all that - who had broken his body to save that same boy who had tortured him mercilessly over an inability to see kindness for what it was.

To think that Bakugou would actually miss Deku…

"I knew something was wrong with the video," Shinsou muttered to himself, his eyes locked on the screen but looking far away. "It was too still, barely any shaking or talking, and he went right back to taping after Deku took out the entire street instead of hiding. A direct contrast to how Midnight found him."

"He _what_?" Aizawa barked into the phone, sounding awake as hell and jerking both Bakugou and Shinsou out of their thoughts. "What do you mean by that?" Taking a deep breath and letting a guttural sound out of his chest that sounded both furious and exhausted, Aizawa pinched the bridge of his nose. "This is a disaster. As of right now, he's our only lead. We have reason to believe that he may have information on what's going on with Midoriya." He listened to whoever was on the phone, his entire body tense. "So we wait. We don't have the time. It's been three days and besides the video being leaked we've heard nothing. For all we know, they could be…"

Aizawa didn't finish the statement. He didn't have to for everyone to know what he meant. Three days of silence was a terrible thing. It left their imaginations to run wild and it turned out that Bakugou's imagination was a lot darker than he'd realized. Deku wouldn't hurt her. He'd promised to not hurt her. He'd told Todoroki that he wanted to keep her safe - that the League said they would let her live, but he wanted to be careful. She was alive. She was unharmed. She was safe. As for Todoroki, well, they had no clue. All they could say was that the League hadn't killed him when they'd the chance and that was that.

"Okay, we'll meet you at U.A." Aizawa hung up, not one for niceties, especially when he was in foul mood. Before Bakugou could launch a verbal inquiry like a missle, he held up a hand and Bakugou shut his mouth. "You were right. He's connected with the League somehow."

"Is he a villain?" Bakugou demanded.

"We don't know, but I think he might just be a civilian caught in the middle," Aizawa told him. He shoved his phone back into his pocket. "At any rate, we can't find out. The second the footage popped up on the television, he went into a fit and somehow ingested a poison capsule of some sort that he had on him."

Bakugou threw his hands up. "Did you fucking search him?"

"Of course we did," Aizawa snapped, his voice threatening Bakugou to not question him like that ever again. "They were able to stabilize him, but he's in a coma and it appears as if whatever he took is not only unrecognizable, but quirk-resistant, so Recovery Girl can do nothing to bring him out."

Discomfort flooded Bakugou's body and he blinked. "Quirk...resistant?"

"It would appear as if the League has someone with a quirk similar to mine," Aizawa said, frustration evident on his tired face. Well, that was great. So the League had their own evil versions of Shinsou and Aizawa. That was just what they needed to deal with. It would definitely make it easier for them to control Uraraka and Todoroki, both of whom had quirks that made them difficult to contain.

Shinsou hummed thoughtfully. "There must have been some sort of cue left in his brain that told him to take the poison when the footage was leaked or when he saw it again."

"Why not just have him end it before we found him?" Aizawa wondered out loud.

Bakugou looked back at the screen, which was showing Deku's face again, staring at the camera. It was blurry from being zoomed in so much, but Bakugou could still picture what Deku's eyes looked like. Dead, void of anything to suggest he was alive. He looked like that when he was fighting these days. It was only when he saw Uraraka or something truly upset him that those eyes light up like green orbs.

When Bakugou's phone went off again, he growled in frustration and was ready to rip it open to yell at whoever thought he was the best person to freak out with when he came to a halt. The contact name left him breathless and that punch to the gut feeling came over him again.

He must have been pale in the face or something because Aizawa put a hand on Bakugou's shoulder and snapped him out of it. "Who is it?"

Bakugou turned his phone for Aizawa to see. It was a number that he hadn't called in a very long time. Almost eleven months to be exact. Before that, it had been much, much longer, years, over a decade. He had kept the number plugged into his phone mostly because he'd forgotten that it was there and it was transferred every time he upgraded phones. When he'd needed it all those months ago, he had been surprised to find it already there.

The contact read just as it had all those years ago when he'd first put it in as a kid: _Deku's Home_.

It was his mom. It was Deku's mom, Inko Midoriya.

Bakugou's stomach dropped. She must have seen the video on the news. With Uraraka having been taken, he was the person that she would call next.

When he let the call go to voicemail, not knowing what to do, Aizawa sighed. "I'll go speak with her." They had kept her under a close surveillance since being alerted to Deku's presence in case he tried to contact her, but Deku had kept his distance, perhaps not wanting to involve his mother either. "We should have done it before, but I'd hoped to spare her this pain for as long as possible."

"No," Bakugou said flatly, "I'll do it." He swallowed. "It… It should be me."

"Are you sure?" Aizawa asked, his expression unreadable.

With that look in his eyes, Bakugou couldn't tell if Aizawa thought him capable of handling such a delicate matter. Truth be told, he didn't know either, seeing as how comfort and delicacy were not his fortes in the slightest. He couldn't treat Deku's mom like he had Uraraka. But he recalled letting the small woman hug and cry on him after she was told the news of Deku's death and then at his funeral. He hadn't said a word, but he hadn't had to. Uraraka had told him that he'd done what was needed most of him. To be strong, a pillar, a constant. He wasn't certain that was what Deku's mom would need now, but if he had to draw inspiration from Uraraka, then he'd do it.

 _You didn't think this was just about Ochako, did you?_

No, it had to be him. This was partly his responsibility, after all, and it was time he owned up to it.

* * *

Tsuyu was already waiting outside of the apartment complex when Bakugou showed up. Since Deku had made his reappearance, Bakugou felt like he'd been bolting out of cars and running for it, but this time, he took his time. He sat in his car for a moment before shoving the door open and dragging himself out. After he slammed the door and locked it, he slunk over in her direction. They didn't have time to do anything slow - not when it felt like there was a timer ticking away in Bakugou's head (ending in what, he didn't know) - but this had to be done.

"This is going to fucking suck," Bakugou decided.

"I'm surprised you chose to come," Tsuyu said, never one to mince her words.

Bakugou shoved his hands in his pockets, but said nothing as he watched another car pull in. As he'd left the safe house, he'd made two calls. They didn't have to come, but Bakugou knew for a fact that he couldn't do this alone. He was strong in a lot of ways and better than many in others, but even he could admit that he lacked when it came to emotional comfort. And he knew what Deku's mom was like. She was just as emotional as her son.

When All Might unfolded himself out of the car, Bakugou looked down at his feet. He had to be here, but he would need the other two to actually help with the comforting part. Admitting any sort of weakness was rough, but it was especially difficult after suffering such a painful defeat. Even worse was the fact that they hadn't been the first people that he'd thought of to do this with him.

"I'm glad you called," All Might said, somehow looking thinner and more worn down than ever before. "You should not have to do this alone."

"I…" Bakugou swallowed a lump in his throat. "I didn't know who to call at first." His gaze turned into a glower, as if his feet had offended him somehow. "My first thought was Uraraka. She'd be good at this, you know? She's kind and sweet and good at comforting shit. But she's _gone_ and I have to tell Deku's mom that her son _kidnapped_ her."

All Might put a hand on Bakugou's shoulder and he didn't flinch, but he tensed up underneath the touch of his still favorite hero. He'd lost more than Bakugou in this, hadn't he? Bakugou hated relying on All Might or anyone else. It shouldn't be like this. He shouldn't be so weak.

"You know what the real kicker is though?" Bakugou lifted his head and dropped it back so that he could look at the sky. Dark clouds were swelling above them, as if the mood was contagious to the weather. A storm was about to break. It was better than if it was shining. He didn't think he could handle a sunny day. "I can't believe I actually fucking thought that I'd want _Todoroki_ around." He laughed coldly and maybe a little bit hysterically. When that Half and Half Bastard had first crossed his mind, he'd almost wrecked the car in shock and irritation. "Deku's mom adored them both and I thought, ' _I wish Todoroki was here to do this.'_ What is wrong with me?"

"This is a very trying time for all of us," All Might told him gently. He hated being spoken to like that and shrugged out from underneath the former hero's hand. It didn't seem to offend him though. "We're all processing this as best as we can, but it's difficult. Midoriya meant a lot to all of us in different ways."

"That shitty Deku…" Bakugou growled and even worse was that he knew he didn't really mean it. He hadn't meant it for a long time, but old habits died hard.

"I'm proud of you for coming here," All Might said. Back in the day, those words might have meant something, but now they just made Bakugou feel hollow. What was there to be proud of?

A terrible feeling swelled up inside Bakugou to the point that he felt himself getting overwhelmed, like it might swallow him whole. "I had to come. I had to…" He rubbed his face with his hands. "We're only here because of me. Because of my weakness. If it wasn't for that, none of this would've happened."

All Might frowned. "Bakugou, you did everything you could to stop him-"

"That's not it!" Bakugou snapped. The dark shadow that rested in the back of his mind threatened to take over, as it always did when he thought back to that night eleven months ago. The one that whispered that he didn't deserve to be a hero, the one that was clawing its way back to the surface and breaking pieces from him. "Back when Deku jumped to stop that villain and Uraraka yelled at me to throw her to him, I hesitated. I fucking _hesitated_. Do you understand? She missed him by inches, by seconds - because I wasted time. I don't even remember why. She had to yell at me to snap out of it and then I threw her as hard as I could, but it was too late."

"Midoriya's...death was not your fault," All Might said, his face sad as he soaked in the shame radiating from Bakugou. They couldn't save everyone. As students, they had been told that right from the start. When they were heroes, they wouldn't be able to save everyone. And for Bakugou, that person had been Deku. When it counted the most, he didn't do it. He'd questioned everything and in the few seconds he'd held back all had been lost.

"Are you sure?" Bakugou threw back. "If I hadn't hesitated, chances are Deku would be alive. None of this shit would be happening. I bet he and Uraraka would be engaged, talking about kids, all that stupid domestic shit that they dreamed about." He felt sick. This was a bad idea. He never should've come. "We wouldn't be _here_ , off to tell a kind as hell woman that the only family she had left, her only son, has been alive this whole time and is now a villain who will destroy an entire block because he's jealous or just been told to."

His whole body sagged under the weight of everything. He had mentioned to Uraraka what felt like a lifetime ago that Deku's death might've been his fault for not aiming her right when he'd thrown her over the ocean to save Deku. It was like she didn't remember him staring back at her with wide eyes like he hadn't heard her yelling at him to throw her. When she had said it, all he could think was that she and Deku would both die and it was storming so violently and he couldn't think because Deku was falling and he-

"None of this is your fault," All Might told him fiercely.

He had lost someone again because of weakness or hesitation. It was a low blow. Bakugou expected that Deku knew that and was letting the bitter wound fester inside of Bakugou to weaken him further.

"Whatever." Bakugou jerked away from them and their too-kind eyes. He shoved the shame to the side, hiding behind his usual walls again. He'd gotten onto everyone about letting their guilt consume them and here he was doing it out in public. He turned and started for the building. "Let's just do this. I've got to get to UA to meet everyone else."

Even though he headed that way first, by the time they reached the Midoriya residence, Bakugou was hanging in the back behind All Might and Tsuyu. They would have much more soothing faces than the scowl that he was trying to wipe off his face. The second the door opened, they were all greeted with Ink Midoriya's red tear-stained face and she burst into a fresh set of tears, throwing her arms around All Might.

Somehow, they all made it inside with All Might guiding Deku's mom back to the couch. The television was on, the video playing in the background as multiple news people, hero fans, and villain experts debated over it. Thank everything the volume was turned off, most likely because she couldn't what was being said about her son, but Bakugou searched for the remote to turn it off while Tsuyu made them tea. She didn't need to watch it anymore. Already he could tell that it had been too much.

He had thought that All Might looked frail, but it was nothing compared to Deku's mom right now.

"Wh-what happened t-to m-my sweet boy?" she cried through the tears, her face pressed against All Might's bony shoulder as she clung to the material of his sleeve. Her whole body shook with sobs as the tears poured down her face, so much like Deku. It was a wonder that she had any tears left to cry or she hadn't completely dehydrated herself. The floor was littered with crumpled up tissues. "I-I thought h-he was d-dead!"

There was really nothing that they could be said. All Might looked as much at a loss as Bakugou felt, but at least All Might was holding onto her and giving her the physical support that she needed, even if it did look like she might break him if she held onto him too tightly. Tsuyu walked back in with tea and nudged it in the older woman's direction. It wasn't much, but it did provide a small distraction, if only for a second.

"It c-can't be him, can it?" Mrs. Midoriya whimpered, staring down at the tea. "It-It's not him. He wouldn't… He couldn't…"

The cup began to rattle so violently in her hands that Bakugou was certain it was going to spill tea all over her, so he reached over to take it from her and set it down on the table. She startled and stared up at him, as if suddenly realizing that he was there. It had been a long time since he'd seen her, but the last she'd seen him had been on that video where he had been fighting against her son with the clear intent to subdue him by any means necessary.

"It's him," Bakugou told her in a low voice, unable to lie to her. He should've been softer about it - should have been kinder somehow - be he didn't know how. Lying to her was too cruel besides. She deserved to know the truth. Maybe not all of it, but some at least. She didn't need to know that her son had killed people. Bakugou was an asshole, but he wasn't completely cold-hearted. That would destroy her. And Deku wouldn't want that.

"How?" she asked in a pained voice so similar to the one Deku had used on him days ago when talking about their history. "How could this have happened? He's… He was such a good boy..." She turned her gaze to All Might. "All he ever wanted to be was just like you. This… This isn't him." She looked back at Bakugou. "You knew him. You've known him all his life. He's kind. He's sweet. He's good. What happened? Why?"

 _Because I failed him,_ that voice in the back of his mind whispered.

He squashed it down viciously and admitted, "We don't know much. It looks like a group of villains found him before our search efforts could and…" His mouth was dry, but he didn't make a move to grab the one of the other teas that Tsuyu had brought. He glanced down, noting the way that Mrs. Midoriya was clinging to Tsuyu's hands with one of her own now. "They did something to his mind. A villain with some sort of brainwashing quirk. He still remembers us, so it's not amnesia or anything like that, but it's like everything is twisted around."

It was a piss poor explanation to a mother who probably felt like she'd lost her child all over again. A vicious streak of anger tore through Bakugou in that moment. How could Deku do this? He hadn't even mentioned his mother yet and they all knew how much Deku had loved and adored her. The only thing Bakugou could think was that Deku was trying to keep her out of it. There could be no ill feelings towards the woman that had raised him on her own, protected him, loved him, believed in him. It would be best to leave her alone. At least Bakugou hoped.

Mrs. Midoriya pulled her hands away from Tsuyu and All Might so she could fiddle with them. The tears had mostly dried, but Bakugou thought it was most likely because she had simply run out. "What about Ochako?" Her eyes dropped down to her hands. "I saw that he…" She chewed on her bottom lip. "Izuku wouldn't hurt her. He loved… He loves her. He wanted to marry her, you know? But they both had their hero careers and he was worried that they were too young…" She lifted her hands, shielding her face. "I can't believe this is happening. Izuku is a hero. Why would someone do this to him?"

All Might sighed next to her. "He carries an immense power within him. They must seek to exploit it through him and it appears as if they have used his love for Uraraka in some part to manipulate him."

Deku's mom must have known about One for All then. She pulled her hands away from her face and nodded her head in miserable understanding. What he didn't understand was the guilt on her face, as if she thought it was her fault that she'd let him get into a vulnerable position. Bakugou knew damn well that no one could tell Deku what to do in the end once he put his mind to something. The nerd had found a way to get a quirk and become a hero, something unheard of before.

"But you can get him back, can't you?" she asked, a fearful hope shining in her eyes that were so like Deku's. It was unnerving to look her in the eyes when all he could think about was the way Deku's eyes had looked before he had vanished into the warp gate with his arm around Uraraka's shoulder and then when he had been holding the knife. "You said he's being brainwashed by a quirk, so there be a way to save him." She picked up a photo frame that had been lying face on the table, gazing over it fondly before she lifted her eyes to Bakugou's. "You can save him, right? Him and Ochako and Todoroki… You can bring him back."

It felt like there was a rock in Bakugou's throat and it was slowly making its way down to the pit of his stomach. His eyes glimpsed the picture she was holding - her and a three year-old Deku smiling cheesily at the camera while he wore his favorite All Might costume pajamas, still happy and excited because he didn't know yet that he was quirkless - and his stomach dropped.

Nonetheless, Bakugou raised his eyes back to her and nodded his head jerkily. "I'll get them back - all of them - and I will save Deku." His voice was as firm as ever and he hoped his eyes looked the same, but a part of him felt jarred by this moment more than anything else. He knew that she wasn't placing all her hopes on his shoulders, but as someone that tried to outpace everyone on his own first, it certainly felt like it. "If it's the last thing I do, I'm bringing them home."

Deku's mom jumped to her feet and moved around the table so that she could throw her arms around him. She was small like Uraraka and he could feel her tears wet his shirt. At first, he stood there stiffly, letting her hug him and then he could've sworn that he heard Uraraka gently urging him forward, telling him what to do. His arms moved slowly of their own accord until finally he returned the hug.

"I'm sorry, Bakugou," she cried against his shirt. "I'm sorry I can't do more. I feel so weak. He's out there… My boy is out there and I keep wondering if there was something more I could've done, but I don't know what." She pulled away from him slightly and had to tilt her head to look him in the face. He honestly didn't know what he looked like right now. All he felt was slightly stunned and numb in this moment. "You are so brave that it's hard to see how much this is hurting you. I don't mean to put more on your shoulders, but if anyone can save them…"

In that moment, Bakugou couldn't speak if he tried. He wasn't used to this, not from his family or anyone else. The only ones that came close were Kirishima and Uraraka. This woman looked so much like Deku or he looked like her. In a way, they sounded like each other too, although Deku's mom was clearly more afraid and softer somehow. Had he inherited anything from his father?

Bakugou didn't understand how she could be so kind or so caring with someone she had to have known was cruel to her son for years. Their friendship had been one that so very clearly involved a power imbalance that Bakugou had taken glee out of whenever he thought Deku was looking down on him despite being quirkless. What was it that Deku had said? That his mother had been forced to mend clothes that Bakugou had destroyed with his quirk or sometimes throw them out altogether and buy him new ones? They hadn't been wealthy, especially not when his mom became a single parent.

It struck Bakugou suddenly that he didn't even know when Deku's dad had left, either unable and not wanting to deal with the embarrassment of having a quirkless child, something that Bakugou had often rubbed in Deku's face with his own. Surely his mother had known that he was being bullied, even if Deku had never talked about it outright. And yet she here she was, bleeding comfort into him, giving him a tremulous smile and looking at him like he was filled with hope and good.

That terrible wave of emotions that he'd been bottling up since Deku's death crashed over him and it was too much for him to deal with in front of other people.

"I have to go," Bakugou found himself saying, his voice thick with emotion, and he peeled out of her grip. She didn't look surprised or hurt, seeming to understand that he needed to get away. Without looking at All Might or Tsuyu, he turned on his heels and walked out of the apartment. The second the breeze from the oncoming storm hit him, a wave of nausea struck him and he put a hand over his eyes and took a few deep breaths to stop it.

How could she be so good? How could she believe in him so much? How could she be so loving when so much of the world had turned its back on her and her son? It was like dealing with Deku all over again. Bakugou knew that it was kindness now - that a smile was not a sneer - that a hug was not a belief of weakness. But it still stung.

He dropped his hand at his side and stared out into the cloudy sky. _I wish Uraraka was here,_ was the only clear thought in the tangled mess of his mind.

The door opened behind him and Bakugou wiped away any semblance of emotion from his face. He felt like he was trying to imitate Todoroki, but he had never been good at completely blank expressions. There was always something showing in his eyes. Tsuyu came out alone and shut the door behind herself, saying,. "All Might is going to stay here with her for a while longer. She needs it. There's a little more to explain and I think he wants her to come stay at UA."

"Good," Bakugou said flatly, "she shouldn't be alone."

Tsuyu eyed him carefully, which only made Bakugou scowl and start down the stairs. He didn't need her analyzing him or thinking that she knew how he felt. "You're allowed to show grief, you know," she told him as she followed him down. "You don't have to always be angry."

"I _am_ angry," Bakugou snapped like a whip. "I'm pissed."

"You're scared, too."

Bakugou rounded on her sharply. "I'm not fucking scared."

Of course Tsuyu didn't back down. She merely blinked, standing face-to face with him since she was three steps above him. "You're scared for Uraraka." And damn her if she wasn't right, but Bakugou didn't want to admit that. He didn't want to bring up the fact that he could barely sleep because he didn't even know how she was sleeping. Was she in a bed? A cot in a cell? A cold floor? Deku wouldn't allow that, would he? Out of his mind as he was, he wanted her to be happy as safe. Right? "You do a good job hiding it, but it's in your eyes. Every now and then, you'll glance around, like you're looking for her, and then you get this look when you start thinking about it."

"Would you _stop_?" Bakugou demanded, instantly hating how needy he sounded.

"Stop what?" Tsuyu asked, tilting her head.

Bakugou waved his hands in the air. "Stop analyzing me. I fucking hate it. I don't need you trying to get into my head, okay? I've got enough things to worry about."

"I'm just saying that you don't need to deal with this alone," Tsuyu responded, so infuriatingly nice. And this was why he didn't hang around her a ton. She had next to no filter and even worse was that she was right most of the time. It was annoying. "We're all trying to cope with this together. It's not healthy for you to do it on your own, especially when you have such a huge role in this."

"Yeah, apparently my role is to fail repeatedly so everyone gets hurt," Bakugou ground out bitterly. He didn't mean to admit any of this out loud and he was angry with himself for doing so earlier. He shouldn't have said any of that stuff about his hesitating and Deku's death, at least not in front of Tsuyu or All Might. It would've been better had he told Kirishima, but no, Bakugou had kept it to himself until he couldn't. He'd half-assed told Uraraka, but hadn't wanted to burden her more than she already had been with it being Deku's birthday.

"That's what I'm talking about," Tsuyu sighed. "If you'd talked with the others, you would know that isn't the case. No one sees you as a failure except yourself." She frowned at him, which was a look that a lot of people fixed him with but seemed particularly bad these days. "It's holding you back instead of pushing you forward."

Stomping down the rest of the way down the stairs, Bakugou grumbled, "Couldn't I say the same thing for you? I haven't seen you crying or anything. Uraraka was your best friend and you were close with Deku."

"I know better than to cry in front of you," Tsuyu said. "You'd just call it a waste of time."

Well she was right about that. It was a waste of time. The closest he'd come to doing it in a while had been when Uraraka and Todoroki had been taken. He'd settled for screaming it out, but tears had burned his eyes. Some of them might have fallen to the ground and down his cheeks, but it hadn't been full on crying. He wouldn't lie and say that he'd never cried before, but he was an angry crier. And as furious as he had been, sorrow and fear had been more prevalent once the warp gate closed.

"Whatever. Let's just get to UA." Bakugou pressed the button to unlock his car and then pulled the door open. Time to speed like hell out of here. Back to pedal to the metal mode. "Hopefully they've come up with something."

At this point, anything would be an improvement. He had to do something. It had been too long. He needed to find them more than anything.


	13. Chapter 13

**notes:** Some more familiar faces make an appearance! This was another unexpected thing that came about as I was writing. Someone actually guessed one character appearance like a day after I decided they were going to be in this story. How? I wasn't even aware of it? The next chapter will be back to Uraraka's POV starting right after they stepped through the warp gate, so buckle up!

* * *

" _Don't forget who your heroes are, what they mean to you, and why they mean that to you."_  
 **―** **Gale Harold**

* * *

When they got to UA, Bakugou straight up ignored Tsuyu as he stormed into the building. He knew that it was rude and he didn't care. She'd done exactly what he hadn't wanted her to do and now he was pissed. He didn't like the fact that he'd aired any of his shit. It made him feel open to attack, vulnerable in a way he rarely let himself be, but mostly it just made him feel unsettled that he was so easily read.

How could she have known so much? For the most part, whenever he and Uraraka had hung out, it had been just them. He'd liked it that way, preferring smaller groups anyways. Sometimes, they'd gone out with their groups of friends and happened to be there, but it had never been together, like a friend's birthday party at a bar or something like that. They'd had their separate group of friends, although she'd gotten closer to Ashido and Kaminari later on in school. Uraraka had always been like that though: friendly in a way that drew people in.

It had worked on him after all, hadn't it? Even if they hadn't grown close until after Deku's death. He didn't even know how it had come about. They had been sort of friends before, caught in a weird stage that all of Bakugou's friendships started, but it was like they'd been snapped together afterwards. He could remember Ashido talking about how down Uraraka was and how nothing seemed to bring her out of that dark cloud that had surrounded her and the next thing he knew he'd gone to her apartment and dragged her out into the sunlight.

 _I failed Deku; I'm not going to fail you._

Maybe it had been selfish of him. By the time he'd realized how much he liked being around her, how she had pulled him into the sun as well, it had been too late.

Those clouds were back though and this time the storm was more like a natural disaster waiting to happen.

The conference room was mostly filled by the time Bakugou and Tsuyu reached it. She broke away from him to explain why All Might had not come back with them while he headed directly for Aizawa, who was talking with a woman that he vaguely recognized. When he reached them, she turned around and Bakugou was met with a face that he hadn't seen in person in years. Her face smacked him with some unpleasant reminders even if she hadn't been the cause of them herself.

"Bakugou!" Mandalay exclaimed, a sympathetic expression on her face. "I'm devastated that we have to meet again under such circumstances."

He knew that he should at least try to be pleasant, but the trip to see Deku's mom had bled him dry of the ability and he felt so worn through that he couldn't be bothered. "What are you doing here?"

"Considering Midoriya's state and that Shinsou believes Midoriya is being brainwashed, we thought one strategy might be to bring in anyone with a quirk related to the mind," Aizawa explained in his usual matter-of-fact tone. Neither one of them looked put out by Bakugou's blunt nature and in fact appeared as if they'd expected it. Good. He wasn't planning on wasting any time or energy trying to be nice.

As for Aizawa's explanation, it might not have been a solid plan, but it was the best one they had so far. Mandalay's telepathy quirk could only go one way, but if she could get into Deku's mind, there was a chance that she might be able to unlock something. It would be a delicate procedure most likely done under extreme duress. There was no saying how Deku might react to another voice clanging around in his head.

Bakugou glanced around, taking note of other heroes in the room, along with Shinsou, who was clearly not excited at being roped into this battle but accepted it nonetheless. Everyone must have had mind-related quirks as well. Most of them he didn't recognize, but it looked like they had come from other countries. Aizawa must have been considering that Deku was brainwashed for a while now to have assembled them so quickly. Bakugou had right from the start. No way was Deku a villain just because they hadn't found him first. He wasn't that petty or he would've tried to kill Bakugou long ago.

"Any updates on the jackass that took the video of the fight?" Bakugou asked.

Aizawa shook his head. "He's still unconscious and in critical condition." He glanced back at Midnight, who was talking to two heroes that Bakugou didn't know. "Midnight questioned him thoroughly alongside the police and she's not one to miss something in interrogations. Whatever this villain's quirk is, it must be capable of erasing memories along with manipulating them. We checked the quirk registry, but there wasn't anyone that stood out. It's possible that he's from another country that isn't so strict about it."

Bakugou grunted and folded his arms across his chest. "How overpowered is this person? We don't even know who they are."

Without warning, the door that Bakugou had come through was kicked open. All the heroes went on high alert, including Bakugou, but the only person in the doorway was a young boy. Bakugou found himself flabbergasted. It was undeniably Kota, Mandalay's nephew, but Bakugou hadn't seen him since since the UA Camping Trip where he'd been kidnapped. Kota was older now, taller, with a sharper edge about him and Bakugou somehow knew instinctively that he'd developed his quirk more. He didn't know how he knew; he could just feel it.

The most jarring aspect about him was that he wasn't wearing a hat for once. Bakugou had never seen him without his trademark hat, but that had been years ago. Instead now, his dark hair stood up on end and he was tightly wringing a green, white, and red hat in his hands in front of himself. His eyes were wide with shock, but filled with tears that signified grief and Bakugou's stomach dropped. He couldn't handle this kind of disappointment again.

"Is it true?" Kota asked in a quivering voice, all the heroes hesitating in the room. "Is Deku really…?"

Mandalay was the first one to break free of the trance that had taken hold of everyone else, running towards him and grabbing him by the shoulders like she was afraid he wasn't real. Of course she would though. This was her nephew. Heroes were taught how to deal with emotional distress and how to handle victims, but this was something else entirely. Deku had single-handedly saved Kota from being killed by a villain at the UA training camp. Before that, Kota had despised heroes and the students wanting to become them after the death of his parents, unable to understand what it meant to be willing to give up a life to protect someone else's.

And now that hero was on the television acting like a hero. Kota's whole world was probably flipping on its end.

"I told you to stay in your room!"

"I got bored," Kota replied, sounding mechanical. He tilted his head up towards her. Give it a few more years and he would be as tall as her. He was still in middle school, but it wouldn't be long before he could decide what high school he wanted to apply to, whether or not he wanted to be a hero. The tears that had built up in his eyes began to spill down his cheeks. "And so I started walking around and it's summer break so most of the students are gone, but then I saw two of them staying at the dorms watching something on their phones and I got curious and I…"

"Oh, Kota, I was going to tell you," Mandalay said in a soft, pained voice.

"Don't lie to me! I'm not a little kid anymore." Kota twisted the hat in his hands. "Deku can't be a villain, can he? He's…"

 _He's my hero,_ were the unsaid words. Bakugou wanted to turn away, but he couldn't.

"It's him," Mandalay told him and Kota let out a whimper that would embarrass him later, "but it's not. He's under the control of a villain." She gave him a smile, the kind adults gave when they knew everything was wrong but they had to smile anyways. Bakugou had recognized it as a child and he saw it now. Judging from the way Kota looked at her, he knew it too, but he didn't fight it either. "We're going to save him."

The poor kid looked so crestfallen. His eyes dropped to that hat. "I tried calling Uraraka, but she didn't answer. The UA students said that he took her."

Mandalay took a sharp breath. Ah, he hadn't watched the entire video. Most likely he had seen enough of it to form a view and had come running to his aunt, who he would believe had the most information on the situation. After all, she had come here on such a short notice and brought him as well. The kid wasn't stupid. He could do simple addition and he knew that something was wrong.

"We're going to get her back too," Mandalay said with more conviction than Bakugou expected. She fondly ran a hand through Kota's messy hair and then took the hat from his hands. Bakugou found himself shaken when it hit him what exactly that hat was: it was a pro hero Deku hat. Kota had been wearing a hat that the news now considered a villain. The kid must have felt shaken to his core. "That's what heroes do."

"I want to help," Kota insisted. "I can help!"

As if knowing that he would say this, Mandalay sighed, "The best thing you can do is stay here."

"But-"

"No buts!" Mandalay said sharply. "You're still in middle school. This is a pro heroes job."

Kota swallowed. "Of course." But there was a look in his eyes that Bakugou recognized as very fucking dangerous and he went on high alert. All the warning bells went off in his head. He knew that look. It was the kind of one he made before he jumped headfirst into a fight, explosions blowing from his palms, the kind of look he made before he did something incredibly reckless. He narrowed his eyes at this kid. What was going on in his head? He couldn't be older than eleven now and yet he was already conspiring.

 _Don't do anything stupid, kid._

Mandalay guided Kota further into the room, knowing that he wouldn't just go back to his own. She sent him over to Shinsou, who he somehow knew, and then she returned to Aizawa and Bakugou, looking more exhausted than she had been seconds ago.

"You brought him with you?" Bakugou questioned hotly.

"I couldn't leave him alone," Mandalay shot back. She looked down at her hands, which were now being held in front of her. "Besides, his safety was a concern."

Bakugou stepped closer to her, forcing her to look up at him. "What does that mean?"

"Kota was in close contact with Midoriya before his…" Ah, yes, before his not-death. Mandalay's gaze turned to her young nephew, who was currently listening to whatever Shinsou had to say to him. "They emailed each other all the time. Midoriya didn't have to do it, but he was genuinely excited about Kota's progress with his quirk and he truly cared about Kota's wellbeing and how he was accepting his parents' death."

Aizawa put a hand on Mandalay's shoulder. She was clearly shaken up. "We're concerned about anyone that had a close relationship with Midoriya."

"I know he's under a villain's quirk control, but if he were to somehow contact Kota or get a hold of him…" It didn't need to be said. Mandalay tied her fingers together to make one fist and held it in front of her face. She was clearly more of a nervous wreck than she had let on, if only for her nephew. "Kota would've followed him to the ends of the earth. He was devastated by Midoriya's death, but he managed to persevere because it was what Deku would do, in his own words. I tried to hide the video from him, thinking it might protect him, but now I don't know."

It was never a smart idea to keep someone in the dark, but then, Kota was still a child. He might have been taller and stronger than he had been the last time Bakugou had seen him, but he wasn't even in high school yet where he could learn to protect himself better with his quirk should he want to. Back when Bakugou had seen him, Kota had hated heroes and what they stood for after the loss of his parents. If anyone understood the sacrifices heroes had to make - the sacrifice that Deku had made - it was him. Mandalay should've told Kota upfront about the situation, in Bakugou's opinion, mostly because Kota clearly idolized Deku so much.

But that Deku wasn't the Deku that was here now.

"I trust Kota," Mandalay said, "but I've still been monitoring him. I keep worrying that Midoriya will contact him and I'll be too late in finding it."

"Deku hasn't mentioned him, so there's that," Bakugou put in. That was about as close to comfort as he could give right now. Mandalay seemed to get it though as she nodded her head and allowed her hands to fall back down to rest against her stomach. "But then we still don't know his or the League of Villains plan." He turned to Aizawa, who was watching Kota and Shinsou with something akin to suspicion. Most likely he had noticed Kota's off reaction as well. He would seeing as how Bakugou's class had been chock full of those. "We can't go to them if we don't know where they are, so we'll have to bring them to us. I'm not waiting for him to kidnap someone again. This time, we need to take control."

Aizawa glanced back at him. "How do you propose that? Bait him?" Bakugou nodded his head. "How?"

"I've got an idea." Bakugou looked out the window to where various people, vans, and their equipment were camped outside the school, feeling a burning, uncomfortable sensation in his gut. This was one of the last things he wanted to do. They couldn't communicate with the League or Deku without them opening a line first - at least not directly. Leaking the video to the news had given Bakugou an idea though. The video hadn't been just to stir the pot; it had also been a smack in the face to every pro hero and UA, which had helped produce Deku.

So it was high time the heroes smacked them right back.

* * *

To be honest, Bakugou wasn't a huge fan of the whole getting a microphone shoved in his face thing, but it came with the package of being a pro hero. As soon as a fight was over, reporters would come rushing onto the scene almost as quick as first responders. They were so damn needy and overwhelming with their desire to report on the news immediately. Seriously, there was almost nothing more ruthless than a reporter trying to get a story. Some of them were manic.

There had been plenty of times when Bakugou had stepped out of a fight and right into what felt like another, except it was questions being lobbed at him instead of punches. It still took him off guard, especially when his first instinct was to always snarl and shove people out of his way. He wasn't that great on camera. He knew that it was something he had to improve, but he found it difficult to give a shit.

Kirishima got onto him about his bad attitude with reporters, probably because he was so beloved by them. He actually sent some of them small gift baskets and in turn they were always kind to him, giving him the space he might need after a fight or rescue. One of the last times Bakugou and Uraraka had hung out before this whole mess, they'd just finished eating dinner at his place when the news showed a clip of a reporter trying to interview Bakugou after he'd taken down a villain. Uraraka's wild burst of laughter had almost made Bakugou drop the plate he was cleaning. She always got such a kick out of seeing his sour, snarling face on the screen.

Willingly facing the reporters now sounded about as fantastic as getting socked in the face, but it was one of the few options that they had. They knew that the League was watching the news, seeing as how they had managed to leak the video of Deku's fight to the media. It was a classic fearmongering technique and it backed the pro heroes, UA, and the police into a corner. Not only did they have to admit that Deku was alive, but they couldn't deny that he was a villain now as well. People had already connected the prison break to Deku's reappearance and many had started to turn against well-respected hero agencies and the school.

After all, UA was supposed to produce heroes, not villains. They'd helped create a monster.

It grated on Bakugou's nerves to the point where he was probably grinding his teeth an unhealthy amount, all this blathering and questioning. Deku wasn't a monster. Sure, he was capable of monstrous things now (Bakugou flexed his left wrist and then fingers), but that wasn't who he truly was. Bakugou was going to drag the hero right out of him into the open for everyone to see again. He didn't know how and he didn't know when, but it would happen.

With his back to the blocked off entrance of UA, Aizawa at his side, and a mob of reporters just a foot away from him, Bakugou felt like he was in line to get shot by a firing squad. The questions and demands being thrown at him almost felt like bullets. He did his best to remain as impassive as Aizawa, who took it on another level compared to Todoroki, but knew that he couldn't hide the heat from his eyes no matter how hard he tried. Camera flashes nearly blinded him and he found himself glaring into each lens accusingly.

When Aizawa held up a hand, all of the questions finally stopped and he pointed at a female reporter at their ten o'clock. She practically jumped to ask, "Is the video true? Is that the formerly thought-to-be dead pro hero Deku or is it the work of a villain?"

Both, if they were being honest, but they couldn't just air everything right now, so Aizawa said, "It's him," and then pointed to another reporter directly in front of them.

"How can this be? He was pronounced dead almost a year ago! Is he a villain now or was he always one before?"

"Izuku Midoriya was a hero from the very beginning," Aizawa answered in a flat voice. "It's true that we have very little to go on about how or why he is consorting with a new League of Villains, but we have reason to believe that he's not entirely a lost cause." There was only so much they could say without showing their cards entirely, but they couldn't lie and they couldn't hold out too much. The public needed some sort of reassurance, even if it was a bland version of it. "Rest assured, we will get to the bottom of this."

A woman shoved her way forward, nearly knocking a cameraman over. "Does Deku's reappearance as a villain have any connection with the prison break?"

It was a question they had hoped to avoid, but knew that they would have to answer if it came about. Still, Aizawa did not look pleased when he said, "Yes." It sent a shock through the mob of news people. This opened up a whole new line of questions and fears. Were any of the other villain prisons a target? Had there been a specific person they had wanted to break out? Then why not break out All Might's nemesis or could they be building up to that?

"What about the string of villain murders?" the same reporter demanded before Aizawa could pick someone else. That created a ripple of confusion and many of the reporters began to mumble with their cameramen and at each other. Even Bakugou was slightly caught off guard. With Deku looking so much like a villain in that video, he hadn't thought that anyone would piece together the kills he'd done to impress Uraraka. "They were in Uravity's section, after all, and the ones done this past week after the prison break were all her collars."

Someone had done her homework apparently. Bakugou didn't like it. He hated it when people thought they knew something when they didn't know the half of it.

"It does appear as if he has a connection with those deaths," Aizawa admitted.

"If he's a villain, then why is he killing villains?" another reporter managed to edge in.

No way were they going to tell these news idiots that Deku had killed people to impress his girlfriend. It was bad enough when people began to idolize villains and twist their behavior into something to romanticize about. There was nothing romantic about killing people, even if they were bad. He knew that the conclusions would eventually be drawn online by people that had way too much time to think about such things, but he wasn't going to give Deku the satisfaction of saying it out loud.

"We're unsure of his exact motives at this point," Aizawa merely said, which wasn't exactly a lie. They knew part of the reason why he had killed those villains - to impress Uraraka - but he had implied that there was another reason as well that had made it simpler to carry out. They didn't know what that was. Aizawa was really good at this sort of thing. He was good at shutting people down. "Next question."

"How do you intend to protect the city when so many pro heroes, including the number one hero, Endeavor, could not stop him?"

"That is something we cannot discuss just yet."

"Do you even have a plan?"

Aizawa gave the reporter such an unimpressed glower that the man actually backed down. "Heroes are not in the business to air out their plans for everyone, including villains, to hear."

Bakugou folded his arms across his chest. A few of the reporters glanced at him nervously. In most of his hero costume, he knew how threatening he came across. It was purposeful. This wasn't just some interview for tv. This was a declaration of war.

"Has there been any updates on the two pro heroes kidnapped?" a reporter shouted from the crowd. Bakugou tensed up at the question. They'd lost two of their own and had no clue where they were or what was going on, but they couldn't admit that out loud. What little faith the people had in them was tenuous right now as it was.

"Are we even sure that both of them were kidnapped?" a guy at Bakugou's right asked. When Bakugou zeroed in on him with a furious gaze, the man hesitated, but didn't back down entirely. "The video made it look like Uravity went with the villains willingly. Her relationship with Deku was well-known. Could she be in on this?"

Fire flashed in Bakugou's eyes and he ripped the microphone away from the guy so violently that he actually stumbled backwards in shock. "Listen up because I'm only going to say this once," Bakugou snarled, staring right into one of the large cameras aimed at him. "Uravity is a damn hero. She saved our lives that night, as she has done countless of times before. She saved _my_ life." He hated admitting that he needed to be saved, but she had done it. He would not take her sacrifice away from her even at the expense of his pride. "I'm not going to tolerate any of you assholes speculating about her integrity. You don't know a damn thing about what she's gone through. She is stronger than any of you know and she has and will do everything in her power to save everyone."

No one moved for a few seconds. Maybe they didn't even breathe. The intensity with which Bakugou had growled into that microphone had everyone reeling. The second that asshole had accused Uraraka of being complicit, he had lost his cool and gone straight for the attack. It was unexpected, but helped set the trap in a way. He didn't think Deku would like anyone questioning Uraraka as a hero either, not when he'd helped her in his own messed up way and still seemed enamored of her quest to save people.

"As for the first question, no, there have been no updates," Aizawa said, setting the stage.

"Yeah, because they're scared," Bakugou snapped, shoving the microphone back at the guy. "We defeated them before and we'll defeat them again."

"How can you say that so confidently when you were beat just days ago?"

Bakugou snapped his eyes in the direction of that reporter, who visibly shrunk back. "We didn't know what we were dealing with then, but we know now. It's clear that the League is relying on Deku's strength, so what does that tell us? Besides him, they're weak. They're nothing but a bunch of cowards who barely have the ability to keep Deku completely on their side. Take him out and they'll crumble." He pointed directly into the camera, a fiery look filled with determination and promise. "And I'm _going_ to take him out. Mark my words. Your time is coming to an end and I _will_ get Uraraka and Todoroki back." He sneered. "Unless they're too afraid to come out of hiding."

With that, the gates opened and Bakugou turn on his heels and left them. Aizawa stayed back to answer a few more questions, but as far as Bakugou was concerned, his part was done. Sure, shoving a stick in a hornet's nest was one of the most dangerous things they could do, but he was made of all fire right now. Any hesitation in him was gone. There was nothing holding him back now. Uraraka was gone. Todoroki was gone. Deku was gone.

And all Bakugou felt was dangerous.


	14. Chapter 14

Notes: Alright, everyone, we're back to Uraraka's POV! This is going to be very weird. Tense, sad, uncomfortable. But now we finally get to see the other side and it's...not what Uraraka was expecting. It's kinda of worse, tbh.

* * *

 _"_ _You mean that it's not only what he does that makes him dangerous, but also what he feels justified in doing?"_  
 **― Terry Goodkind, Wizard's First Rule**

* * *

Uraraka had never been through a warp gate before, so she wasn't prepared for what it felt like. For some reason, she had thought it would be cold. It wasn't like that at all. The only way she could describe it was that it felt like walking through a waterfall, but not wet. Only the sensation was there. The world was black for a second and she closed her eyes instinctively, Deku's arm wrapped around her the only thing tethering her to Earth, and then they snapped open once she realized that they were on the other side.

Her entire world felt changed, like it had been flipped upside down, and she couldn't recognize anything.

"Thanks for the gate!" Deku said in an absurdly cheerful voice. There was even a big smile on his face, one that looked genuine and bright. "You did it at just the right moment."

"I should be complimenting you," Kurogiri responded in such a pleasant tone. Honestly it was making her mind spin. In a way, it reminded her of how All Might would talk to Deku, but she knew that Kurogiri wasn't the leader here. Deku clearly wasn't either, although he seemed somewhat in charge considering how the other villains deferred to him at times. Maybe it was just because of his quirk. "You did an excellent job. I'm proud."

Kurogiri had filtered back into the form of a man, wearing a suit like a normal person. It caught her off guard. She'd never seen him wear clothes before, only the metal case that contained his physical form, and it was jarring to see him look like this. Even stranger was that the suit reminded her of what Deku had been wearing the first time he appeared in her apartment.

The smile dropped from Deku's face, replaced by a tiny thoughtful frown. "I don't think I killed anyone though. That was one of the objectives."

"You made an impression," Kurogiri told him, "and that was what is important. The world will never be the same after tonight. You will be a reckoning for the future." Deku actually blushed a little, but waved a dismissive hand like he couldn't handle hearing anymore. Kurogiri's yellow eyes swung to Uraraka and she could feel his cold amusement washing over her with that gaze. "Besides, you got what you wanted, didn't you?"

Deku rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand and chuckled even as he tightened his grip on Uraraka. "I guess I did."

It was impossible to see Kurogiri smile and yet Uraraka could've sworn he was doing it now. "I'm glad you could finally join us, Uravity." He was having a field day with this. She bet anyone involved in the old crew was having a good laugh over what Deku had become. Even he seemed entertained at times. "Izuku is such an important part of our family. It was hard seeing him so despondent over the past few months, though he put up a good front. He missed you terribly. I confess that I've never seen him so happy before now that you're here."

Uraraka's mouth felt dry and her throat was constricted. She could remember the first time she'd seen Kurogiri, how he had threatened to kill all of them at USJ as a message to All Might. She had only been fifteen and had never faced a villain before, but when Kurogiri had gone after Iida, she had ran right up to him and thrown him into the air using her quirk. She could tell by the way the warp gate villain was gazing at her now that he remembered. How she itched to grab him and launch him again, but she kept her hands to herself.

Kurogiri chuckled to himself and reached out as if to ruffle Deku's wild, dust-filled hair, but then Deku shoved his arm away with a laugh. When Kurogiri's gaze swept back to Uraraka though, she could see the knowing in them, as if he sensed how unsettled this whole exchange made her feel. It was so playful, so light, truly like family. It was like Deku belonged. This wasn't some cold, dark dungeon or scary alleyway that people always associated with villains, but something else entirely. Something stronger with more foundation.

This was a show for her, but then it wasn't at the same time. For Deku, this had been his reality for months. The villains that had once tried to kill him were now kind.

Before she could even begin to look around and try to figure out where they were or if they were even in the same world after going through the gate, movement to her right caught her attention. She looked over to see Todoroki's eyes starting to flutter open, though just barely. He mumbled something so faint under his breath that she couldn't understand him.

Dabi, stilling holding onto him, glanced down at Todoroki and let out a hum. "Looks like he's coming to." There wasn't a single inflection in his voice. Uraraka stared at Todoroki, terrified about what would happen when he woke up more, but no one else seemed concerned.

"Well we can't have that," Kurogiri pointed out.

A man in plain clothes came from a room behind them, but what startled Uraraka was when he jabbed a needle in Todoroki's neck and injected him with something. His eyes flared open in surprise for a second, connecting with Uraraka's and he gasped something that sounded like her name, but then his eyes slowly closed and he went just as limp as before and his breathing evened out. With Todoroki unconscious once more, Dabi hoisted him up again and began to carry him away.

"Where are you taking him?" Uraraka demanded, her voice coming back to her with no warning. She took a few steps forward, pulling out from underneath Deku's arm, and reached out for Todoroki. Deku grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back to face him. "What did you do-?"

The needle in her neck caught her by surprise, even though she should've expected it, and she whipped her hand up to jerk it out, but Deku caught her by the wrist and stopped her. "I'm sorry, Uraraka, I really am." There was such a genuinely sympathetic expression on his face, but it was difficult for her to concentrate on. His green eyes shined with concern and love. Whatever they injected her with felt like ice flooding her veins. When the needle was pulled out, she let out a tiny gasp and stumbled forward right into Deku's chest.

"D-Deku…" Uraraka felt so weak and a wave of sleepiness washed over her. Her knees buckled underneath her and she grasped onto the front of Deku's uniform to keep from falling. Luckily, Deku wrapped a strong arm around her and put a hand to her cheek as she gazed up at him. "Wh-what was…?"

"I'm sorry," Deku repeated. She started to have trouble breathing as her vision began to swim and panic tried to take over her mind and keep her from going under. "It's okay, it's okay. Just breathe. You'll be fine." Her face fell against him. If it wasn't for Deku holding onto her, she would've been on the ground. "We just have to take extra precautions, you know? We have to be careful." She felt his lips press against the crown of her head as his voice faded in and out. Her mind screamed at her to stay awake, but she couldn't win. "Don't fight it. I'll be here when you wake up."

Uraraka didn't feel herself fall completely, but she knew that despite her fear of being surrounded by villains and totally vulnerable, Deku would catch her.

* * *

When Uraraka came to, it was slow and fuzzy. Whatever they'd injected her with had hit her hard and she felt like she was just barely managing to crawl out of whatever haze it put her in. She clawed weakly at the bed she was lying on, fingers digging into the blankets, and for a brief moment she thought she was back in the safety of her own bedroom. It had all been just a dream, a terrible and horrible dream concocted by the alcohol she'd drank the day before and Bakugou would be there in the other room, waiting to pull her out of it.

But when she opened her eyes, Uraraka found herself staring at an unfamiliar ceiling and the weight of everything dropped down onto her chest. Deku must have carried her to this bedroom as Bakugou had done over a week ago. It left her breathless as grief and fear fought dominance over each other inside of her. In the end, she only managed to feel numb.

As she tried to push herself up, she heard, "You're awake!" and then Deku was rushing over to her side, one hand on her back as he gently helped her sit up. A part of her almost jerked away from him, but she stopped herself at the last second. She was afraid of how he would react if she acted afraid of him, even if she was. Deku's touch was nothing but careful though. "Take it easy. If you try to move too fast, you might get sick. I did the first time."

"What…?" Uraraka took a deep breath. "What was that?"

Deku gave her a sheepish look. "A necessary precaution. You're still a hero, after all."

As Uraraka turned to look him at him, she caught the smile slowly lighting up Deku's face. It took her breath away for a moment. She knew that look. It was the kind he'd give her when he accidentally woke her up after getting out of bed for his ridiculously early morning run. Her first instinct was to touch his face and activate her quirk on him so that he'd float to the ceiling, a silly prank she pulled whenever he'd go to kiss her goodbye in bed.

But it didn't come to her. She was touching his face with all five pads of her fingers and nothing was happening.

Panic rose inside of her again and she pushed him away, struggling to breathe again. "What's wrong with me?" She could feel herself getting sick, but even as Deku tried to calm her down, reminding her that if she pushed herself too much that she'd throw up, she couldn't stop herself. Tears sprung to her eyes. "Where's my quirk? I can't feel it. I can't-"

"Just breathe, Ochako, nothing is wrong with you or your quirk," Deku told her soothingly, rubbing her arms as if trying to warm her up. She shivered despite his touch, perhaps because of it. "It's still there. You simply can't activate it." He sighed and sat down on the bed next to her as she tried to process his words. So whatever they had injected with had stopped her quirk, kind of like Aizawa. It was a terrifying thought, but at least it made sense. "I was scared too at first. I thought… I thought I was quirkless again. It terrified me. I'd forgotten, you know? How helpless I felt when I was quirkless - how much of a victim I was most of the time, a source of pity and shame."

Bile rose in the back of Uraraka's throat, much like it did when she used her quirk too much, which was ironic since she couldn't use her quirk at all right now. She held her hands out in front of her, palms up, and gazed down, opening and closing them. Nothing. She felt nothing. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she returned her focus back to Deku. He was gazing down at his hands in his lap, one normal and one scarred from breaking it repeatedly.

This was how he had felt for the first fifteen years of his life. She didn't know if she could handle a whole day of this. It was more than just a quirk; it was a part of her, like her soul.

"It'll have to be like this for now - until you're ready. Your quirk is more problematic than most people realize. It's not as flashy as Shoto's, but I know how clever you are."

If anyone knew her quirk, it was Deku. They had done so much together, using their quirks both to fight crime and at home. He'd loved everything about her quirk. It had fascinated him from the start, back when he'd been a kid that spent hours analyzing quirks and heroes, but it had evolved into adoration and then giddiness. There was nothing quite like dancing in the air or kissing upside down and giggling as his face turned red.

"I patched and cleaned you up as best as I could," Deku said shyly. Oh, just like old times. He would help her with that whenever she came home scraped and bruised. "That's why your hair is a bit wet. You had a nasty bump on your head that I..." It had been from his last attack. He hadn't meant to hurt her, but had anyways. He looked so ashamed of himself. Taking a deep breath, he continued, "I, um, I brought some clothes for you." He held out a folded outfit with shoes. "I didn't think you'd want to stay in your hero costume. It's a bit, um, torn."

Uraraka glanced down at herself. She was indeed still wearing most her costume. Her boots and gear had been taken off to make her more comfortable lying down. It was ripped and burned. Well, it had clearly seen better days. She took the clothes from him, but paused while unfolding them and looked back up at him. "These are mine."

"Yeah, we got them from your apartment," Deku explained, his face a little pink. "I thought it might make you more comfortable to be in your own clothes."

The fact that some villain had been rooting around in her closet and dresser made her more uncomfortable if anything, but she knew what he was trying to do, so she mumbled her appreciation. He gave her a nervous smile and then bounded out of the room, giving her privacy to change even though he'd definitely seen her in various states of undress in the year that they'd lived together. So he'd break into her place, kill people, break villains out of prison, and threaten her friends with torture, but he wouldn't watch her watch her change.

Uraraka sighed. She had expected things to be awful, but not so mind-boggling.

Once she was finished changing, she called out, "I'm done," and then sat back down on the bed. She felt better in clean clothes, even though the shirt and skirt didn't match the situation at all, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she was missing something without being unable to activate her quirk. It was scary. He peered inside as if to check if she was really done and then stepped back in. He took her folded costume, looking at it like he wasn't sure what it meant, and then set it on a chair before returning to sit down next to her.

Deku took a deep breath and smiled up at her, reaching out tug on the strand of hair framing her face, something he had done fondly before. "I'm really happy that you're here. Really, I am." His face was so soft and there was a light in his eyes that she had missed that first day. They still seemed off though. He was looking at her and yet looking at him was like looking through dirty glass. "I felt like… I don't know. Like there was something wrong and I couldn't figure out what it was."

"Did you…?" Uraraka knew that she had to be delicate about this. One wrong word and there was a chance that she wouldn't be able to recover. "Did you ever think that you being here was what felt wrong?"

"Of course I did. It's hard not to think that. I'm different from the others. I know that." There was a very thoughtful expression on Deku, another one that she was familiar with. It was his serious thinking face. "But I belong here. I know that too. I'm needed, wanted, protected, cared for. I'm respected and feared. I have a place here." He rolled his eyes playfully. "Sure, some of them are ridiculous and over the top, but they don't look down on me. They know their place as well."

He made it sound so wonderful. It really did sound like a great place with good people. He sounded so loved. It was like the villains knew what he'd been starved of his entire childhood outside of his mother. His father abandoning them, his friends turning on him, everyone either pitying or degrading him. If she hadn't known that he was talking about villains that regularly murdered people and committed other terrible crimes, even she would've wanted to be a part of it.

But it was fake. It had to be fake. He had to know that too. Something was wrong in his head though. He had begun to experience those things after being accepted into UA. Their classmates had grown to respect him and even admire him outside of his astounding quirk. He had been her hero right from the beginning. Had it not been enough? Had she not loved him enough? They had needed and wanted him, so had the world.

"Did you not have those things before?" Uraraka asked in a quiet, hurt voice.

"Sure," Deku told her, "but I had to really fight for them while it's handed to others that don't deserve it. I guess it makes them worth more, but still." He pulled away from her slightly, arching an eyebrow. "Do you think Bakugou deserved all the praise he was given while he broke down everyone in his way?" She wanted to tell him that Bakugou wasn't like that anymore - that he had come to respect the strength in others - but then she knew it wouldn't sit well with Deku if she defended Bakugou, so she stayed silent. "Do you think Endeavor does? I can guarantee you that Shoto doesn't think so." He shook his head. "And yet society continues to reward the strong, even when they so clearly abuse their power."

Uraraka's fingers curled on her legs. "I don't know what you want."

"I want to tear it all down," Deku said, "and begin anew."

It was so simple, but she couldn't possibly understand what that entailed. His words were all wrong. They were coming out of his mouth, but they sounded like someone else's, like someone had taken some of his darker thoughts and rearranged them to fit their narrative and desires. Was this was Deku truly wanted or was it something that someone wanted him to want?

"And I can do it now. I can burn it all to the ground and change the world." Deku took her hands in his. "Because you're here and everything feels right. It was you. It was always you. Something was wrong - something was missing - but the moment I saw you again, I knew what it was. How can I be Deku without Uravity? Izuku without Ochako? It was like a part of my soul wasn't here, but I can finally breathe again."

Honestly Uraraka felt like she couldn't even do that. His words were so sweet, but dipped in horror and it was hard for her to fathom that they could possibly come from the same person who had threatened to cut Bakugou's hand off. He stood up and she let him pull her to her feet, like she was weightless, and into the center of the room. In the corner was an old radio and he left her for a moment to turn it on before returning to her. Like it was nothing, he pulled her into his arms again and he pressed his forehead against hers, taking another breathe.

It really was like he hadn't breathed properly in so long.

Uraraka closed her eyes and gripped onto his shirt. When the music began to play, emotions strangled her heart in a vice-like grip. She knew this song - she'd loved this song - but she hadn't listened to it in a long time. The two of them slowly began to sway together. The whole thing felt wrong and right at the same time. They had done this very same thing before, the familiarity of it feeling like home, and yet she had no idea where they were and what had happened to her Deku. Because this was him, but she knew that the other half of him wasn't. It was like he was trying to recreate a moment in their life together to make things truly real.

"You remember it, don't you?" Deku asked her, his voice barely louder than a mumble.

"Of course," Uraraka replied over the lump in her throat. "This was the song playing the very first time we danced together. It's our song."

The last time she had heard it, Deku had been alive. Then, that wasn't quite right. He had never died; he had always been alive. If only for a moment, with her eyes closed, it felt no different dancing with him now, even though everything had changed.

"I was so scared to ask you to dance with me," Deku said with a light laugh. "I didn't think you'd say no, but I wasn't too sure how to dance and I didn't want to embarrass you."

They had been at some boring function for UA. To be honest, she couldn't even recall what it was for exactly, but there had been food, music, and a very occupied dancefloor that had looked daunting to Uraraka. She could remember Deku though, stammering his way through asking if she wanted to dance. He'd butchered it so badly that he had somehow made it sound like he wanted to dance with Todoroki. She had been so confused and even a little hurt until he'd taken a deep breath and explained himself better. Neither one of them had been able to dance well, but she had loved that moment nonetheless.

Which was why she hated this moment so much now. The longer they stayed like this, the more she knew that none of this was real. She couldn't give Deku what he wanted and she was terrified of what he would do once he realized that. She didn't feel safe. In truth, she hadn't felt safe in a while, not since that night with Bakugou when she had thought she could finally come up for air. She'd been under a shadow for so long that she hadn't known what it would feel like to breathe. She didn't know now.

"I was going to propose, you know, before I…"

Uraraka pulled her head away from his so that she could look him in the face, but he wasn't looking at her. "I didn't know."

"Shoto didn't tell you?" Deku peered at her and she shook her head. "I went looking at rings with him. I thought he could help. Turned out he had terrible taste." He gave her a sad smile. "No, I suppose he wouldn't. It would've only served to hurt you more, so he kept it to himself. Very noble."

It broke Uraraka's heart even further to think that Todoroki had kept it to himself. It would have hurt her to know that Deku had been close to proposing to her. Instead, Todoroki had told no one, carrying the burden of a future that would never be by himself. He was so good at that. Bearing the weight of shame, guilt, and grief on his shoulders like he alone needed to suffer if it meant sparing the rest. He was so quiet sometimes that it was easy to miss how much he was wounded. She wish she could've pulled more out of him as Bakugou had done with her. She would have gladly shared the pain with him.

"I'm glad you're here," Deku repeated again as the song came to an end. He cupped her face in his hands and she knew it was coming, but her heart stammered in her chest anyways. She both wanted it and didn't at the same time. She wanted to pull away and lean into him. Instead, she just stood there and let him kiss her again. It wasn't as bruising as before, this one more gentle and plaintive.

His fingers slid from her face and into her hair, urging her closer to him, and he deepened the kiss unexpectedly, turning it into something desperate and fierce and making her whimper, causing a rumble of wanting to come from his chest. It left her breathless, but in a terrible way and she found herself drowning again. His mouth on hers was claiming, as if to mark her as no one else's. When he moved to back her against the wall and one of his hands slid down to her neck, she panicked and pulled away from him and out of his grip, her eyes wide and lips burning.

Uraraka had reacted without thinking and was left staring at him and gasping for breath. "I'm- I'm sorry. I-I didn't-"

"No, no, you're fine." Deku turned away from her, running his fingers through his hair, as if unable to face her. He too was breathless and she noticed that he was trembling again. Was he holding himself back? She didn't know what she would do if he didn't. Or was it something else? Something fighting to take control? She didn't know if it was good or bad though. "I'm the one that should be- I apologize, Ochako. I shouldn't have presumed…" He took a deep shuddering breath and clenched his fists at his side. "I just… I've really missed you."

The words struck a chord in Uraraka, but the pang felt hollow. They were the words they said to one another when it had been a long time since they'd been able to be alone or intimate with one another. Hero work took a lot of time out of their schedules, especially Deku's, seeing as how he couldn't just be a hero in one place. He had had to fight to take All Might's place after all. Whenever they said those words, it meant that they missed every part of them. It didn't matter where they were. They could've been out with a group of friends and Deku would say that and they'd steal away from everyone for a moment alone.

But Uraraka couldn't give that to him.

"I still shouldn't have put that on you," Deku said, his back still to her. "I don't want you to think that I…." He was clearly struggling with something. Under normal circumstances, she would've come up behind him to put a hand on his shoulder or wrap her arms around his chest, as she had done so many times before, but she stayed frozen in place, keeping distance between them. "You need time. I know that. It just hurts when you're right here and things feel like they've finally fallen into place - and you're still not with me."

"I'm here," Uraraka said in a tiny voice. "I'm with you."

Deku pressed against his temple with the heel of his palm to the point where it looked painful, as if he could push something out of his head. "I _want_ you, Ochako, I do - gods, you can't possibly know how hard it was to stay away from you for so long - but I promised myself that I'd be patient. For you. It's what you deserve. I'm not Kacchan. I don't just take when I want something because I think I deserve it."

Uraraka bit her lip, willed all the emotional strength she had in her body, and stepped towards him. The second her hand touched his back, he jumped and his entire body tensed up. For a second, she was terrified that he would turn on her and do something, but then he slowly relaxed under her.

She couldn't possibly understand how Deku could be this shattered in half. How he could care about her so much that he respected her privacy and need for time when it came to intimacy - and yet he'd nearly tortured Bakugou and Kaminari and had condemned Todoroki to a terrible fate. He'd destroyed an entire street and killed villains with his bare hands and apologized for moving too fast and was gentle with her and allowed her to be drugged and let her sleep on his bed. She knew that the differences would only get worse. The split in his psyche was far deeper than any of them had imagined.

"Thank you," Uraraka told him softly and he actually flinched from her words. It was a strange position that she found herself in: comforting and placating Deku after essentially being kidnapped by him. In a way, she thought that he knew how absurd it was from the way his shoulders dropped. She had to do it though because there were still things that she needed from him and she couldn't get them if he was distraught. "It's hard when I feel alone here. You might belong" - he didn't, she swore he didn't - "but I don't. Not yet at least." Not ever, but she wasn't going to say that. "It would help if I wasn't by myself."

Deku turned to look back at her, blinking in a curious manner, but the light was gone from his eyes. She didn't know where it had fled to, but it made her anxious. She couldn't read him when he was like this. It was like another person had jumped into his body for a test drive and didn't know all the controls.

"I'm here, aren't I?" Deku said, sounding hurt that he wasn't enough.

"Yes, I know, but…" Uraraka bit her lip. If she kept doing that, she was going to draw blood. "Where's Todoroki? Is he at least…?"

"He's alive."

Uraraka couldn't even be relieved, knowing that some things were worse than death. "Can I see him?"

A frown crossed Deku's face and he shook his head. "Not yet. He's still being prepped." Her heart dropped into her stomach and it must've shown on her face. "I'll take you to see him soon, I promise, but… Fair warning, it won't be pretty. Shoto will no doubt fight against it and it will be rough on him. Not everyone survives, but he's strong." The smile that appeared on Deku this time was all sorts of wrong and had Uraraka pulling her hand away, although he didn't seem to notice. "I can't wait though. I missed him too! With you two back at my side, everything will be perfect. We'll all be together again. Doesn't that sound nice?"

Yes it did. No it didn't. Uraraka was too leery to say anything, so she merely nodded her head. It was good enough for Deku, who was in a cheerful mood again, like a switch had been flipped. She had a bad feeling that whatever happened to Todoroki, it would be brutal, and she had to do everything she could to save him. The only issue was that she had no clue how or what she could do.

Quite frankly, Uraraka was at the mercy of Deku and every villain here. It was not going to be fun or nice.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes:** This was a difficult chapter for me to write: one) we finally find out how Todoroki is (and it's not pleasant); two) we find out more about how Deku was turned into what he is now; and three) we meet the Big Bad. I usually try to stay away from writing OCs in fanfics, but short of breaking out All for One (which I know will probably happen eventually but I'm an anime watcher and catching up on the manga), it had to happen. I actually like them though. Also poor Todoroki.

* * *

 _"I'm right and wrong, moral and immoral, good and bad, a hero and a villain, and I've been just as capable of truth as I have been lies."_  
 **― Katie McGarry, Chasing Impossible**

* * *

It was only a matter of time before she left the false security of this room and was fully emerged into this house of horrors. Uraraka both wanted it and dreaded it at the same time. Every second she spent inside the room, safely kept away from the other villains, was a second that Todoroki was on the outside with them. She couldn't stop thinking about it. What was happening to him? It couldn't be good. All she could imagine was that door opening and Todoroki stepping inside with a faint, eerie smile on his face. It was enough to have her shaking.

Deku had left her alone again. She'd tried the door shortly after he left, but it was locked from the outside. Her quirk was still deactivated as well. She had wasted too much time trying to call it back, but it was a habit. She could not remember her life before her quirk. Her mother could cancel out the gravity of small things, so when a four year-old Uraraka had floated half the living room and then promptly puked, her parents had been surprised. Not being able to do a damn thing had shaken her more than she wanted to admit.

A search through the room proved both fruitless and sad. There was a shoebox under his bed that held pictures of her and some of their friends in the past few months. If Bakugou happened to be in one, his face was scratched out, even if he was nowhere near her in the picture. Todoroki's face had been circled in a few while there were question marks near Asui's and Iida's, as if he didn't know what he wanted to do with them. There was even a picture of her and Deku from two years ago. She wasn't sure how he'd gotten that, but didn't have time to question just how many times he'd been in her apartment over the past eleven months.

There was a rolled up poster of All Might back in his glory with multiple slits in it. She glanced back at the door and noticed grooves in it as well. It looked as if he had hung the poster up and thrown knives at it. She didn't know what that meant exactly, but it didn't feel good in her gut. What were Deku's feelings towards his mentor and the man that had given him All for One? He had been closed-lipped about All Might so far. Was he a target or was he considered useless because he could no longer physically fight?

In the closet were a handful of clothes, suits like the one he'd worn to break into her place, along with his villain costume. She'd almost thought of it as a hero costume at first, so used to the term, but no, that wasn't right. The one that he wore now was all wrong. It was dark and hid him in shadows, except for those red gloves and boots that reminded her of blood. In the very back of the closet was a mirror, hidden in the dark, but it was cracked in the center, like it had been punched and broken.

A small bathroom proved to be unremarkable as well. Besides a towel, a few toiletries, and a first aid kit that had clearly been used, it was empty, only there as a necessary function. She noted that there were two toothbrushes in there now. It was so normal that it felt abnormal and she shut the bathroom door feeling off-kilter.

The room was bland in a way that she did not associate with Deku. He had a terrible sense in decorating. His dorm at UA had been a hero fanboy's dream. When he'd gotten older, he had tried to be more adult, but tended to go for things that didn't match or fit any color theme. He had really liked hanging pictures in all sorts of different frames, but there was nothing hung up in this room. The only personal touch seemed to be the music player. There was an assortment of playlists, including a few that sounded just like someone talking.

And then with Uraraka's own voice over her home phone. She stumbled away, staring at it in shock. The villains had tapped her phone line and she hadn't even known. Had she ever been safe or alone? She could picture Deku lying alone in bed here, staring up at the ceiling, listening to her talk through everyday conversations, imagining that he was right there in the room with her. She knew he'd done it because she had pictured the same thing. She would be on the phone with Tsu and would close her eyes, seeing Deku taking a nap on the couch behind her, but when she opened her eyes, he wasn't there.

The discovery unsettled her and she staggered backwards until the back of her legs hit the bed and she fell back down in it.

Not longer after that, Uraraka heard the door being unlocked and warily watched it open. It was only Deku, the circles under his eyes darker than before, but she couldn't relax. He rubbed at his face as he shut the door. When he turned to face her, she saw that his green eyes were dim, as if the light had been drawn out of them, but he offered her a tired smile.

"Are you alright?" Uraraka found herself asking.

Deku waved a hand, but was either not capable of responding back out loud right now or didn't want to waste the energy. There was something jerky and sluggish about his movements as he shuffled around the room, her eyes never once leaving him, until finally he made his way over towards her. Even as her heart thumped fearfully in her chest, she opened her arms up to him. He fell on the bed next to her and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in the crook of her neck.

"'m tired," Deku mumbled, his breath hot as his lips brushed against her skin unintentionally.

Uraraka breathed deeply, willing her heart to calm down. "Okay."

Carefully, she leaned back on the bed, pulling Deku down with her. It took some maneuvering, but by the time they were situated, they were fit together in such a familiar way that it felt as if something was tightly clutching her heart. He had his arms around her middle, his head resting on her stomach, lying half on top of her with one of his legs over hers. She kept one hand resting on his arm and she threaded another through his hair. It was still so fluffy and wild.

The urge to cry welled up inside of her so painfully that she had to actually blink back some tears.

She couldn't say how long she stayed there. She certainly couldn't sleep. Whatever they'd given her to inhibit her quirk had knocked her out for a while and she was too on edge to fall back under if she tried, afraid that she would wake up and find everything burning down around her. That nightmare from the safe house came back to her, Bakugou's and Tsu's blood on her hands, and the thought that if she rested for even a second would end in disaster crept back into her mind.

She knew that eventually the adrenaline would wear off and she'd fall asleep, but for now, she was on high alert, even as Deku's breath evened out and she saw the telltale sign of fluttering under his eyelids telling her that he was dreaming. What did he dream about these days? Were they good dreams? Bad ones? So much had been done to twist his mind. She could only imagine what it had done to his subconscious that controlled his dreams.

When Deku came to some time later, Uraraka was still staring up at the ceiling, thoughts of the others on her mind. Had anyone died? Deku would've told her, right? She couldn't help but worry about Kaminari, who they had gone to save, or Tsu who she hadn't seen before Deku's last attack.

And Bakugou. Her heart seized at the thought of him. She could only imagine the fury and shame that was no doubt swirling around him now. Was he sleeping? Had he been healed? It wasn't his fault, but he took everything so personally. She couldn't let him get hurt. She couldn't let something like that happen to him. She cared too much. She would not fail him as she had failed Deku.

 _He's alive,_ she kept telling herself. _At least he's alive._

Some things were worse than death.

Deku shifted his head so that his chin was propped up on her stomach and his eyes were locked onto hers. There was so much that rested in between them that either she couldn't say or he couldn't get out of his mind. It was like there were words locked in his head and she was struggling to find the key.

"I wish we could just stay like this," Deku finally said.

She tried not to tense up underneath him, but it was hard when an alarm began to rattle in her head again. In here, safe, together, where they could both hide under the illusion that everything was normal and they could be happy. On the other side of that door was a world that she couldn't possibly understand and didn't want to know, but had to get immersed in if she was ever going to bring Deku back into the light. And it terrified her. It could kill her, no matter how much Deku proclaimed to want to her protect her.

The others would not be so kind.

Letting out a sigh, Deku pulled away from her and sat up, rubbing at his eyes again. When his hand fell down, he blinked a few times, but the light was gone from his eyes again. "There's someone you need to meet anyways." As he stood up and stretched, she swallowed thickly and then let herself be pulled up by Deku until she was on her feet next to him. He smoothed her hair down, cupping her face again, and then gave her a big smile. "It'll be fine. You're incredible."

"What about Todoroki?" Uraraka asked, the words coming out of her mouth before she could stop them. She had to know that he was okay - or at least in one piece.

"I'll take you to see him too," Deku reassured her, although she did not feel comforted at all. "I know you must be worried about him." He examined her curiously. "You two grew closer."

Uraraka fiddled with her fingers. "I wouldn't say closer. Maybe more understanding of each other." She bit her lip. "He tried to be so strong for me, you know, and it was hard for him to admit that he was broken up." It was one thing to know that they could not save everyone; it was another to reckon with the fact that they hadn't been able to save one of their own.

Looking back on that time after Deku's death was hard. Even harder to think about how everyone else had struggled with grief while she had felt swallowed by her own. That first week, she had pushed nearly everyone away, not wanting their pity, accepting calls from only Deku's mother, Tsu, and Todoroki. Bakugou had not come around until the second week. There had been a few nights where she and Todoroki would just sit on her fire escape and look into the street, tea long gone cold sitting next to them. It had been all either of them had been able to do for each other, but she knew that he'd appreciated it as much as she had.

Would that she could do something for him now. It would have to be more than sitting in silence. Uraraka was going to have to fight.

"Don't worry so much, okay?" Deku told her. Incredulous laughter almost slipped out of Uraraka's mouth, but she caught herself. Don't worry? She was with the League of Villains, all of whom knew her as a hero that had put people away. The only reason she wouldn't be confronted by the ones that she'd captured was because Deku had done away with them already. She was universally hated here. "Back here, they're more bark than bite." She had a hard time believing that. "Besides, they won't mess with you with me around. They know better."

That she could believe.

She had to get out of this room. What she really needed to do was see the layout of wherever they were at. She couldn't tell a damn thing from this room. There were no windows, no obvious smells or sounds, like the room was soundproofed. Honestly she wouldn't be surprised if it was. She hadn't heard much of anything when she had pressed her ear to the door and listened here and there.

Allowing him to take her hand again, Deku opened the door and guided her outside. The hallway looked much like the room they were in, same walls and floor, no windows or decor. It was dimmer out here and the doors were all shut. Were they other bedrooms? Was this a house? An underground bunker? The first known hideout for the original League of Villains had been a bar. It was hard to determine what this one was.

She flexed the fingers of her free hand, wishing she could feel her quirk returning to her fingertips, but nothing happened. How long would she be under the effects before they would have to dose her again? And how were they deactivating quirks? The more she thought about it, the more likely she thought that someone had a quirk similar to Aizawa's. That was how they had been able to keep Deku subdued before they'd forced him onto their side. If not, he would've been able to break out of their hold.

One door ahead of them was open, light from the room flooding into the hallway. Deku walked past it without even acknowledging it, but Uraraka glanced inside despite fear settling in her gut. The normalcy of the room shocked her. It looked like a small kitchen area. The only difference was that there were a handful of people inside, all of whom were villains, including Dabi, who raised an eyebrow in half-assed interest.

They were out of her sight as they continued on, but the villains weren't done with them, as a man's excited voice called out behind them, "Oi, Midoriya, is that your girl you've been hiding?"

Deku came to such a sudden halt that she almost bumped into his back. When he turned around, she took a step back into him, but he was already pulling her closer. In front of them were four people, three villains that she didn't recognize in regular clothes. Dabi was leaning against the threshold of the door, his arms folded across his ruined chest, and wearing a faint knowing grin that made her want to squirm. There was a man who looked about ten years older than them, peering at her too intently, and a young brunette woman with sharp facial features. Another man hung behind them in their shadows, but unlike the others, he was glowering in a sullen manner.

There was a bright look on Deku's face, a sheepish smile, but she also caught the tension in his body as he held himself tightly. "I guess I have been."

"I can see why," the woman cooed. "She's cute."

"Don't let that distract you," Dabi drawled, not looking away from her. She stared right back with a challenging gaze, even if her stomach was twisting. "I've seen her drop half a building on someone before."

"Strong _and_ cute," the woman said, nudging the villain that had first spoken. "No wonder Midoriya is so enamored with her." She stepped forward to inspect Uraraka closer. Uraraka didn't flinch away, but Deku tightened his grip on her ever so slightly. "Look at those cheeks." She took a long deep sniff, which finally made Uraraka pull back, considering how weird it was. "Oh she smells good too. Like strawberries, sweat, and…" Her smile turned as sharp as a knife. "Nitroglycerin."

Uraraka swat the woman's hand away as she reached out to tug on Uraraka's hair. The woman just giggled and stepped back in line with the others. Uraraka was almost positive that the woman had said that on purpose and that she didn't smell like that at all. The word was obviously a trigger for Deku, whose gaze went from shiny and nervous to blank and cold in a second. The woman glanced back at Dabi, who shook his head, as if to tell her not to push her luck. There were some buttons that should be ignored for their own good.

"On the way to see the boss man?" the first villain questioned. Deku simply nodded his head, but it took everything in Uraraka not to react. This was the first time someone had specifically mentioned whoever was in charge. This had to be the person that Deku wanted her to meet - maybe even the person that had screwed with his mind.

"Ask him when we can go out," the woman sighed. "I'm getting bored. It reeks in here."

"We're all getting restless," Deku responded, though there was little to no warmth in his voice, "but we have to be patient. We'll strike next when the time is right."

That didn't settle well in Uraraka's mind at all. Maybe she could pry some information about their next attack out of Deku. He still rambled like he used to apparently. If she could get him talking, she might be able to find out something. Not that it would help with her being stuck in here.

"Tell Shoto I said hi," Dabi said.

Deku nodded his head, but he was already turning around and pulling Uraraka with him. "Yes, yes."

Uraraka was too taken aback by the whole exchange to say anything at all. Dabi's familiarity with Todoroki made her deeply uncomfortable, but she couldn't tell if he was doing it on purpose for that very reason or if it was real. His eyes and those deep purple bags of skin under them gave nothing away. Before she completely turned back around, she caught eyes with the one villain that hadn't said anything and he glared at her so intensely that it made her blink in shock. That kind of glare always gave a promise of violence.

No, she couldn't rely on Deku to completely protect her. Some of the work she would have to do herself. After all, he wouldn't always be around to step in. He'd trusted her to be able to take care of herself when he wasn't around to give a helping hand. He'd had faith in her abilities. She had to do the same.

They stepped into a room near the end of the hallway. So far, she hadn't seen a single window and she didn't think she was likely to see one any time soon. It was hard to tell, but she had a feeling that they had gone further into whatever building they were in. The room they were in now looked almost cozy with plush furniture and even a fireplace. The soft ambience that attempted to placate only made Uraraka more anxious though. It was like she was in a movie but the only person that knew besides the director.

"Ah, Midoriya, I see you were able to get some rest. You look much better."

Uraraka whipped her head around to watch as an unfamiliar man stepped into the room through another door. The man was older than them, perhaps in his late thirties. He was tall with a medium build, white hair that was parted to the side and hung slightly in what she would've considered a moderately attractive face. He was wearing a nice long, black coat that reached his knees with a black button-up shirt and black slacks underneath. What really threw her off was the warm expression on his face. If she had seen him on the street, she never would have guessed that he was a villain.

However, the aura that he gave off was unmistakable. Even with that warm face, the second his dark brown eyes latched onto hers, she could feel the dangerous aura radiating from him, just as it did Deku now. It was the same kind, she realized, and her heart skipped a beat.

This was him. This was who had twisted her Deku into this broken copy.

His lips curled into a smile, as if he knew that Uraraka had come to the conclusion, but then he turned back to look at Deku. "I'm sorry it took so much out of you. It should be easier next time, don't you think?"

Deku nodded his head. "I think so." He had come back to the room looking thoroughly worn down. She wondered what this horrendous man could've done to take so much of the life out of Deku. It couldn't be good. Was his quirk somehow draining? "I thought it was time Ochako meet you." He pulled her forward, even though her feet were almost begging to stay glued to the spot behind him. "And she wants to see Shoto."

"You do as well, don't you?" the man said in a slightly teasing tone.

Deku's smile was sheepish, but he nodded his head. "I want to see how he's doing."

"We're in the beginning stages," the man told him. "You know how...ugly it can get. It might be upsetting."

"It's necessary," Deku said firmly.

It must have been the right thing to say because the man looked thoroughly pleased, like a parent when their child does something good. It didn't sound good to Uraraka at all. They were going to hurt Todoroki - or had hurt him already. Her mind screamed at her to do something, but she knew that there was next to nothing she could do right now She had to bid her time and wait for an opening.

"Would you mind if I speak to her alone first?" the man asked, though she highly doubted he had to ask.

"Of course not," Deku replied. "There's something I need to do besides." Uraraka tightened her grip on Deku's hand, opening her mouth to stop him from leaving, but he cut her off, "Don't worry. He won't hurt you."

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it before pulling his hand out of hers and slipping out of the room like a shadow, leaving her alone in the room with a man whose energy was electric with danger and power. He didn't look like much physically - she could probably take him - but there was something about him that made her want to keep as much distance from him as possible.

"You must have so many questions, Ochako Uraraka," the man began as he sat down in one of the chairs. If he expected her to sit across from him, he had another thing coming. As far as she was concerned, she wasn't going to get anywhere near him. She was trying to stay calm, but the blood rushing in her ears made her heartbeat sound as loud to her as Jirou's when she plugged her earjacks into her speakers.

Uraraka clenched her hands at her side and wished for the thousandth time that she could activate her quirk. She felt so open to attack without it. "Who are you?"

"I go by Kyōmu these days, but that's not really what you want to ask, now is it?" He fixed her with a knowing look, leaning back comfortably in the seat while she stood tersely by the door.

"What did you do to him?" Uraraka demanded. Her hands were starting to shake from clenching them so tightly. All she could think about doing was punching him in his stupid face, but that sounded more like something that Bakugou would do than her if he had been in her position. Maybe she should've done it, consequences be damned. "What did you do to Deku?"

"I merely freed his mind," Kyōmu replied, holding his hands out palm up.

Anger flared hotly in Uraraka's chest. "You call that free? You're controlling him! You...you're turning him into a shadow of who he was!" Tears sprung to her eyes, but she didn't let them fall. No way was she going to cry in front of this monster. "You're using him to fulfill whatever evil plans you have in mind."

"On the contrary, Midoriya does everything of his own accord and mostly what he feels like half the time," Kyōmu countered, threading his fingers together in front of himself. "Do you think I would've let him keep you if I was completely controlling him?" There was amusement in his gaze, not the coldness that she would have expected from a villain like him. "I would've had him kill you. Driven him into a corner with jealous rage. You being dead would have made things much easier for me."

It was a horrifying thing to consider, but instead of making her more afraid, it made her angrier. "Then why let me live?"

"Because, although it forces me to use my quirk more often, it makes Midoriya more cooperative," Kyōmu explained in a cut and dry tone that reminded her of Aizawa on some level. He was being totally upfront with her, which meant that he had no intentions of letting her out of the villain's grasp, at least not alive. She had a feeling that he would make sure Deku wouldn't let her. "And it's so _touching_ to see him this happy. We did what we could for him and I was wary to bring you into the fold, fearing you might break him, but I do believe your presence has given him some peace."

Uraraka did not like the sound of that. He made it seem like her being here was helping Deku stay a villain instead of bringing him back into the light. No, she wouldn't let that happen. She had to make sure that he didn't grow complacent now that she was here. If he fully accepted what he had become, who knew what he would be capable of? It already seemed so awful now.

"The periods in which I have to use my quirk on him are growing longer with time," Kyōmu told her, looking quite pleased with himself. "It's still him in there, the boy that you loved. Let's just say he that lives in a world with a few key differences from what he actually experienced."

"You altered his memories?" Uraraka questioned.

"Among other things," Kyōmu confirmed. "It's a trying, painful, exhausting process. I'm afraid I had to use it on him earlier to reinforce a few things. Dealing with his past tends to make things confusing for him." He smiled and straightened up, eyeing her carefully. "That young man is your Deku. These are his choices. He even came back to me willingly to be, ah, readjusted."

"No." Uraraka shook her head, pressing herself back against the door to get as far away from him as possible. "No, I don't believe it. Some of it might be him now, but not all of it."

Kyōmu sighed goodnaturedly. He wasn't even frustrated with her for calling him out, most likely because he had expected her disbelief. In fact, it looked like this was good fun for him, like it was some sort of game. He was toying with her, dangling just enough of Deku in front of her to upset her. "You got me there. I'll admit that I had to use extra force when it came to a few things." He tsked. "He really did not want to kill Shoto Todoroki. He was resistant about Teyna Iida and Tsuyu Asui as well, so I had to put them on the backburner in his mind, so to speak."

So there were more targets. The other two weren't rising quite as fast as Todoroki and Bakugou in the hero ranks, although Teyna was doing an excellent job taking on his older brother's name.

"You're taking out people that might break your control over him," Uraraka realized.

"You being the exception," Kyōmu confirmed, "so I'd feel special if I were you."

She didn't feel special at all; she could only feel sick to her stomach. Certain things did make sense now. Deku almost completely ignoring Iida and Tsu when they had been so close before. It was like his eyes practically slid over them or he didn't consider them as more than a nuisance while hyper-fixating on Todoroki and Bakugou.

"I did try in the beginning to force him to kill you, of course, but the process was so against his desire that it would actually snap him out of the control of my quirk," Kyōmu continued, thoughtfully tapping his chin. "It was difficult enough convincing him that killing Todoroki was a priority and even then I don't think it fully set in, judging by how easily swayed he was by Dabi. No matter though. It all worked out in the end."

Uraraka swallowed. "So you what? Morphed his refusal to kill me into something that would work for you?"

Kyōmu smiled and it actually looked genuine, his brown eyes shining in the light of the fireplace. "Ah, he did tell me that you were clever at understanding how people think."

This villain had turned Deku's love for her against him. He'd not only used Deku as a weapon in his schemes, but he had used her as well. It was one thing to twist his mind and quite another to twist one of the best things in their lives. She didn't know how exactly this man had done it and she doubted that he would go into more detail about his quirk after giving away so much already, but it broke her heart. To think that something so good could be transformed into something so awful devastated her. It would've been better had he forgotten her.

"You're only alive because of our dear Deku," Kyōmu told her. "He doesn't want you touched, but it's only a matter of time before he's completely on our side and, well, then you can be too. Unless the process kills you, of course. Not everyone can take it." He snapped his fingers loudly and the door shifted behind her so she had to step closer to him. Deku obediently slipped back inside and shut the door before turning to put a comforting hand on the small of her back. She didn't lean into his touch no matter how much she wanted to, standing ramrod straight and still. "Shall we see how Todoroki handles it?" He pressed a button on what looked like an intercom on the stand by his chair. "Bring him in."

Uraraka steeled herself to see Todoroki, terrified of what state he might be in. Had they hurt him any? Had Kyōmu already used his quirk on him? It sounded as if he needed to use it multiple times for it to work as thoroughly. Harder to put a person under control, but stronger and more effective than Shinsou's brainwashing quirk. The door that Kyōmu had come through earlier opened and the man that had put them under rolled Todoroki in a wheelchair-type seat.

Even though she had prepared herself for the worst, seeing Todoroki still made one of Uraraka's hands fly to her mouth to stifle any noise that might come out. Metal braces strapped his wrists and ankles to the chair. He was slumped forward, his head hanging so that his hair was hiding his face, as if he couldn't hold himself up. Either sweat or water dripped from his nose and hair onto his knees. Unlike her, he was still in his hero costume, torn and damaged as it was, minus the temperature control bracer around his neck. He was panting heavily, but she thought that he might be conscious this time at least.

"Todoroki?" Without thinking, Uraraka took a tentative step forward, but then Deku moved a foot in front of her, stopping her cold.

Slowly, Todoroki raised his head, bobbing a little as he did so, until his mismatched eyes found Uraraka's brown ones. They were foggy at first, but different from Deku's. It looked more like he was coming to after being unconscious for a while. That didn't mean Kyōmu hadn't used his quirk once already on him though, just not today. Whatever day it was. This place had a way of making time bleed together for anyone that wasn't let out.

Awareness crept into Todoroki's eyes and he gasped sharply as he jerked upright the entire way, the back of his slamming into the chair. "Uraraka." She could tell that he was struggling to breathe, just as she had when she'd come to after being dosed with that quirk inhibitor drug. It looked fresh on him though. She wondered if they had been forced to give him more because of his strength or if it simply affected quirks or people differently. "They got you too."

"Oh no," Deku interjected brightly as he wrapped an arm around her waist, "she came on her own."

Confusion swarmed Todoroki's face as he stared at Deku. She'd never seen him so open before; it was like he didn't have the energy to hide how he felt. "What?"

"She asked me to take her!" Deku shook his head. "See, I told you she would."

"I had to," Uraraka cut in, causing Todoroki's eyes to swing back to her. She hesitated to answer him despite his hurt and questioning gaze. If it sounded like she had only come to save Bakugou and not for Deku, she was afraid of what might happen. Maybe he wouldn't let her see Todoroki again as punishment. She just had to hope that Todoroki was able to figure it out himself for now. "It was the only thing I could think to do. There wasn't another choice."

Todoroki stared at her for what felt like a century. She watched as realization bloomed in his eyes, only to see it fade again as he attempted to slip on a mask. It was harder though with drug coursing through his veins and whatever had already been done to him by Kyōmu. He looked worn down to the bone, but they both knew that he wasn't done yet. This was just the beginning.

 _Not everyone can take it._

She wasn't sure that Todoroki would want to if given the option, but he had no choice in the matter.

Kyōmu stood up, pulling their focus to him. She was again struck by the dangerous aura that hung around him, but also the way her eyes had trouble resting on him for long. It was like something was tugging on her to look away, like he wasn't there even though she knew that she should pay attention to him. He moved around the room like a graceful shadow until he was standing behind Todoroki, who was starting to breathe heavily through his nose in anticipation.

Oh, he had gone through this before.

"Let's take another look inside," Kyōmu announced before digging his fingers into Todoroki's hair as if he was trying to shove his fingers directly into Todoroki's skull.

Immediately, Todoroki lunged forward in pain, gritting his teeth and squeezing his eyes shut, but Kyōmu kept a tight hold on him. He had closed his eyes as well, but she could see them moving behind his eyelids, like he was scrolling through a book. When Todoroki started to shake from the effort of trying to fight off Kyōmu's quirk, Uraraka jerked forward, but then Deku snatched her by the wrist to hold her back.

"Stop it!" she shrieked. "Stop it, you're hurting him!"

"It's only hurting because he's fighting it," Deku murmured, half to himself, as he watched the scene. Uraraka glanced back at him, half in horror and half in anger, but he wasn't looking at her, focused entirely on Todoroki. She did notice that he was tapping his fingers against his thighs again. It had to be an unconscious act.

"Oh," Kyōmu said, his eyes snapping open, " _there's_ something good."

And then Todoroki let out a long blood-curdling scream, his body seizing painfully and hanging forward, his fingers gripping the arms of the chair so tightly that she thought they might break.

"Stop!" Uraraka screamed, throwing a hand out to reach him and lunging as hard as she could. She tried to dig the balls of her feet into the ground for more traction, but then Deku had both arms around her middle and lifted her off the ground, pulling her back. Tears streamed down her face as they did Todoroki's, his sweat and tears falling in drops onto the ground. He was still screaming as he began to slam his head into the back of the chair repeatedly, Kyōmu never once letting go. "Let go of me, Deku! Let go of me!" She kicked and punched, flailing in his arms, and kept smacking his forearm with her hand, but her quirk wouldn't come to her no matter how much she begged for it. "You're killing him! He's killing him! Stop it!"

It lasted far longer than what seemed necessary. It lasted a lifetime. By the time Kyōmu lifted his hands, Todoroki's screams had turned raw and hoarse, as if he'd burned his throat. He slumped back in the chair, the side of his face resting against his right shoulder. His entire body was limp, even his hair, the only movement coming from his chest as he shallowly breathed.

Only then did Deku set her down and loosen his grip on her enough so that she was able to tear away from him and stumble towards Todoroki. She almost fell on her knees when she reached him, her hands grabbing his arms to steady herself. "I'm here, Todoroki, I'm here," she breathed, sliding a hand under his cheek and raising his head into a straight position, but he couldn't hold it up himself, leaving it to rest in her hand. Her lips trembled as she looked over his pale face. " _Shoto_ , please."

His eyelids dragged themselves open, but only halfway, and he gazed at her with such a distant look that she wasn't even sure if he recognized her or not. But then he hoarsely whispered, "U-Uraraka?" and she smiled through the tears and nodded her head, her heart skipping a beat.

"It's me," Uraraka told him quietly, only for him. "I've got you."

Todoroki closed his eyes again, but he let out a weak humming sound. "You gotta…" He took a shaky breath. "I can't…"

She didn't know what he was trying to tell her, but she could guess well enough. She had to get out of here. That last part had her worried though. He couldn't what? He couldn't fight this? No, she didn't believe it. Todoroki could fight anything. He was unconscious again before she could say anything else.

"Shoto?" She shook him. "Shoto?"

Someone pulled her away and then the other man grabbed hold of the chair and began to wheel Todoroki away. Uraraka yelled and fought back, stomping down on a foot and throwing back an elbow, but the person caught her elbow with the palm of their hand and their grip on her waist spun her around. She came face-to-face with Deku, who was wearing a guarded expression on his pale face.

"Why would you do this?" Uraraka demanded. "Why would you let them hurt him like they did you?"

"It's for the best," Deku said like an automated machine, but she thought she saw a hint of something else in his eyes. He tried to blink it away, but it was still there for her to see. "He can take it - he's strong - and he'll feel so much better afterwards." He cupped her face and gave her a shaky smile. "I know it hurts seeing him like that, but it's good for him. All you can do to help is be strong for him too."

Uraraka ripped herself out of his grip, too distraught to be touched by him right now. She couldn't take that gentle hold on her. It made her want to throw up. She was breathing heavily, close to hyperventilating, and she knew that she had to calm down, but she couldn't. She was just so damn furious. She wanted… Gods, she wanted so many things. She wanted to scream, cry, destroy every piece of furniture in this room. She wanted to shake some damn sense into Deku and punch Kyōmu right in his smug face. She wanted to chase after Todoroki and take him away from this place.

(She wanted Bakugou to hold her in that way that made her feel like she could be stronger.)

Unfortunately, Uraraka knew that she could have none of those things and she attempted to swallow down all the overwhelming feelings. The tears wouldn't leave her eyes though - they would spill any second no matter what she did - and so she turned to face Kyōmu with a shiny film of tears over her eyes anyways.

Kyōmu was standing before them, head tilted all the way back and hands on his face covering his eyes, his mouth held agape and his hair falling back in a mess. He looked like he'd either just run a mile or was the conductor of a very enthusiastic symphony. "That was better than I expected." He was breathing deeply, but she couldn't tell if it was from the work his quirk caused or excitement from what he'd seen. "Midoriya had plenty to work with, but Todoroki is a plethora of dark caverns just waiting to explore."

"You're a monster," Uraraka seethed. In the corner of her eyes, she saw Deku stiffen, but she didn't react.

After dropping one hand to his side, Kyōmu raked his fingers through his hair with the other hand and then dropped his head back down so that his focus could fall on her. There was something off about his eyes. It was like they weren't here in the room; they were back in Todoroki's mind, digging around in it. "Am I though? I don't think you've really seen a monster, not like your dear Todoroki has apparently." He took in a deep breath. "I'm honestly impressed. With a father like that, I'm shocked he didn't become a villain." He chuckled, as if something he'd just thought of amused him. "Luckily it's never too late to change one's mind."

Uraraka took a step toward him, but stopped herself and pulled her arm away before Deku could grab it again. He got the picture, retracting his hand and looking like she'd slapped him. "Todoroki is a hero."

"So was Midoriya," Kyōmu pointed out. "Do you want to be one now?"

Deku shook his head. "My place is here."

Kyōmu fixed his hair and then began to straighten out his jacket. "Do you see it now, Uraraka? It doesn't take much. A push here, a change there, a bit of goading, a careful touch - and you can be someone completely different." His eyes roved up and down her in a way that made her want to fold her arms across her chest. "I could show you, if you like. It's very enlightening."

This time, Deku stepped forward and placed an arm in front of her, effectively separating the two of them. "You're not touching her. You promised." It sounded like something a child would say, if that child was capable of radiating a threat that would send people running in the opposite direction.

Considering that he had been the one to create Deku, Kyōmu's reaction was interesting. He didn't rear back in anger or indignation at being spoken to so brusquely. Instead, he nodded his head and calmly replied, "Of course." It was definitely placating behavior, the same kind she had used with him back in his room. Was he concerned that Deku wasn't stable enough to not hurt him should he threaten Uraraka? Maybe it was a side effect of Kyōmu's quirk being used on Deku too much. "I was only offering if she wanted to share yours and Todoroki's release. I would never use my quirk on her without your permission."

"Just so we're clear." Deku stepped back, perhaps sensing how much she didn't want him to touch her, and opened the door.

Uraraka took one last look at Kyōmu, glaring at him with the heated promise that she would find a way to break his hold, and then stormed out of the room, brushing past Deku. Kyōmu had only gazed back at her coolly, although he still looked out of breath after using his quirk on Todoroki. Deku followed after her silently, probably to protect her from the other villains should they want to cause issues again, but Uraraka felt like she was at Bakugou level rage. She knew how to fight without her quirk. Part of her wished one of them would appear so she could throw them across a room. She couldn't remember feeling so angry and upset in her life.

The moment she burst into his room, Deku shut the door and started, "Ochako, wait-"

"Don't talk to me, Deku!" Uraraka snapped, rounding on him so viciously that he actually recoiled from her. Deku, the guy who had taken out an entire street a day or two ago and knocked out multiple heroes with one punch to the ground, flinched because of _her_. "Don't touch me! Don't do anything!"

Deku reached out for her. "Ochako, please-"

Uraraka smacked his hand away from her. "No!"

A part of her knew that she should be calmer - that she couldn't let her emotions get the best of her in case it caused Deku to let his emotions get the best of him - but there was nothing she could do about it. She could feel herself spiraling in everything she'd tried to bottle up in a faulty attempt to remain strong and put together. Seeing Todoroki tortured like that had shaken her up so much that she was trembling and the tears welling in her eyes made it difficult for her to see so she had to wipe them away with her arm.

Even though the tears had started to fall down her face, Uraraka aggressively rubbed them from her cheeks and then took a few deep breaths, trying to calm the rattled feeling in her chest. Deku had said that she was not to be touched, but then what if he eventually changed his mind? What would happen to Todoroki? How many more sessions of those could he handle before he was like Deku? What did he feel right now? Gods, he was alone, locked up in a cage somewhere, unable to call up his quirk for comfort.

Uraraka wanted to scream.

Instead, she stood up straight and let out a shaky breath.

"I know seeing him like that was hard and I knew it would hurt you," Deku said in a quiet but fervent voice, "but it's for the best, I swear."

"How can you say that after seeing him suffer so much?" Uraraka asked him. "So soon after you suffered?"

"It doesn't hurt much now," Deku murmured, as if that made the whole thing any better.

She could only stare back at him in horror and disbelief. His words were like a slap in the face. How could he say such things? Todoroki had been (was) his best friend and his mind was being picked apart and pieced back together differently. "I don't understand," she managed. "You have to know that this is wrong."

"It's not wrong, Ochako," Deku snapped, for the first time sounding angry with her. She almost flinched, but held her ground instead. She was not going to show him any fear, no matter how much her heart had jumped into her throat at that tone. He caught himself, wiping the frustrated look off his face and replacing it with a much softer pleading one. "You have to understand. Shoto will feel so much better afterwards. There is so much holding him back. He's been through a lot. This will be good for him. There won't be any chains tying him down to society's or anyone's expectations of him."

Did he not see that he was in a different set of chains now? Did he not recognize them wrapped around his wrists, ankles, and neck? Did he not feel them? Were they not choking him?

Uraraka swallowed and turned away from him. "I can't… I can't be around you right now." She knew that it might hurt both of them. Maybe it would anger him, but she couldn't do it. She couldn't handle seeing him right now after he had let that happen and defended it. "I don't care what you do with me. Throw me in the cells with Shoto. Lock me up anywhere. I just want to be alone."

Silence settled in the room between them. She could feel him wanting to come up behind her and wrap his arms around her, bleed comfort into her, give her strength. He could do none of that. She knew that if he tried, she would shove him away and she couldn't do that either. Not with how precarious things were. A part of her longed to be treated the same way as Shoto, so that she wouldn't feel so ashamed or guilty, but then she was afraid of that as well.

"I'll give you some time," Deku told her in a strange voice. He sounded a little sad, but mostly hollow.

She heard him walk away, the door open and shut, and the clicking sound that let her know she was being locked inside. This room might have had a bed, closet, bathroom, and dim lighting, but the comfort was false. None of it was real. This room was a cell - for her and Deku.

Falling into a crouch in the middle of the room, Uraraka huddled into a ball and hid her face in her hands. The tears slid down her cheeks unchecked, coating her palms, quiet sobs wracking her chest. She only allowed a minute or two of these before she pulled herself back up, sniffed a few times, and wiped her face. She took a deep, shuddering breath.

"I'm going to save you, Todoroki," Uraraka swore under her breath, even if she had no idea how right now. "I'm going to save us both."

It was either that or probably die trying at this point.


	16. Chapter 16

Notes: "I love Todoroki and Uraraka," I say, as I continue to put them through angst. Thank you all for reading!

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 _"_ _Trying to shatter peace, even if it's not one you agree with, is the work of the mad and the wicked."_  
 **― Drew Hayes, Forging Hephaestus**

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After a while, two things became increasingly apparent: that this bedroom was her cell and that Deku slept very little. No wonder the bags under his eyes never left. She didn't see him at all the next day. True to his word, he had given her space, but it made her feel so alone and desperate. She'd tried to break the door or knob to get out to no avail, but had only ended up frustrated and maybe a broken finger.

After taking a hasty shower out of necessity more than anything, Uraraka fell into a fitful sleep, too worn thin to stay awake. She woke up to a plate of food on the table next to the bed. Deku must have come in, found her asleep, and left the food for her. Some part of her wished that he would have woken her up so she could have seen him, but then her stomach flipped over at the idea of talking to him. She didn't know what she would say.

Despite not having eaten in who knew how long, the food was unappealing and she rolled back over in the bed with her back to the door. Her stomach was twisted into knots as she tried to think of what she could do, but the thing about being locked in a cell was that the person inside was stuck depending on the person with the key. Sure, she could bang on the door and hope that someone would hear her and let her out - but that someone would be another villain that likely wouldn't be nearly as gentle with her as Deku.

Waiting once again infuriated her, but she had to be patient. She thought that she could feel her quirk slowly coming back to her, which made her anxious. More likely than not, she'd be injected with that quirk inhibitor drug again before she could do anything with it. She was terrified that the door would burst open and she'd be held down while administered the drug again.

Flexing her fingers, Uraraka sighed and sat up. If she wanted to keep up her strength, then she needed to eat, no matter how sick to her stomach she felt. She forced the food on the side table down and drank the glass of water that accompanied it as fast as she could. It honestly probably would've tasted good had she not been too focused on getting it over with.

The door opened right when she was finished. She watched with a guarded expression as Deku stepped into the room, looking equally as guarded. Things felt uneven between them, like there was a crack in the ground and they were standing at two different levels. She didn't know what to do with it or how to fix it, but she knew that she had to do something. It was exhausting.

Deku's eyes flickered to the empty plate. "You ate."

Uraraka folded her hands in her lap. "Thank you for the food."

There was a beat of silence between them as they stared at one another, that crack threatening to turn into a chasm if she didn't reach out to him. She dropped her guarded expression, allowing him to see the fear in her eyes, and whatever was holding him back broke. Deku rushed forward and slid a hand around the back of her head, his fingers gliding through her hair. Closing his eyes, he pressed his forehead against hers, taking a deep breath, and she did the same.

"I'm sorry you had to see him like that," Deku told her in a genuinely hurt voice. "I was afraid you wouldn't forgive me. I didn't know what I would do."

"You were gone for eleven months," Uraraka murmured. "I don't want to waste time being angry with you."

It was true in a way. She didn't want to waste the time she had with him, but she also knew that she would never be able to recreate what they had. She didn't have time to let her emotions distract her. It was only a matter of time before Deku's illusion was shattered. She had to figure out a way to get out before then. Things were precarious as they were now.

Pulling away slightly, Uraraka touched his face and he opened his eyes. There was light in them today, a healthy glow that made him look almost totally normal. "Where did you go?"

"I had a few things that needed to be taken care of," Deku told her in the most evasive way possible. She didn't think he'd tell her if she tried to pry for more information and she was unsure if she even wanted to know. He smiled cheerily at her. "No rest for the wicked, as they say." It was a joke, but it stung her nonetheless. He seemed to catch on, his smile dropping, and he sighed. "I also had to get this."

Uraraka's face paled a little when she saw the capped syringe in his hand and she pulled away from him. "I don't-"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Deku rushed to say, "but we have to do it. I can't let you stay here if you have your quirk."

"I don't want to be cut off from it," Uraraka pleaded. Not when she was just starting to feel it again. It scared her not to feel it. She could barely remember what life had been like before her quirk had manifested. She didn't want to know how it felt now.

"It has to be done," Deku said, holding her arm. "I thought it wouldn't be so bad if I did it instead and not surprise you with it."

To be honest, Uraraka might have preferred it to have been a surprise, but she didn't want anyone else putting their hands on her. She bit her lip and nodded her head. He took another deep breath and loosened his grip on her arm, running a soothing thumb over the red mark he'd left on her skin. After taking off the cap, he lined it up and the needle bit into her skin. She hissed as the quirk inhibitor drug was administered and a cold chill ran all the way through her body.

The second he pulled it out, she felt woozy again and fell forward into Deku's waiting arms. She couldn't feel her quirk being blocked off, but she imagined it being walled away. Her heart began to thump in panic, but her body didn't respond to the adrenaline. Deku ran his fingers through her air, just the way she'd loved him to do in order to help her fall asleep after a rough day. This definitely counted as a rough day, in her opinion. She felt herself slipping and before she knew it she was out cold again.

When she woke up again, she was lying alone in the bed. She heard movement at the foot of the bed and looked down to see Deku in the middle of changing into his villain costume. There were a few more scars on his chest than she remembered and a patch of red skin where Bakugou must have landed a hit with one of his explosions. It was still jarring to see him where the black suit when she was so familiar with his green one. She wondered what had happened to it. If the villains had thrown it away after capturing him.

The bed squeaked as Uraraka struggled to push herself up. The nausea was there, but it wasn't as bad this time since she knew what to expect. No quirk. The sound alerted Deku to her waking up and he turned to her as he snatched up his red gloves. "Good, you're awake. I didn't want to you to wake up in an unfamiliar place."

"What's going on?" Uraraka asked, her stomach knotting up as she took him in.

"I have to pop out for a bit, but it'll be quick," Deku promised her as he slid on his gloves.

Uraraka didn't like the sound of that at all. If he was going out wearing his costume, then he was leaving to do actual villain work. "Where are you going?"

"It's nothing you need to worry about," Deku reassured her, leaning over to kiss her on the temple. She was still too out of it to react other than blinking, her mind trying to focus on what Deku might be leaving to do. He put on his boots and then his belt. Besides the colors, it looked so much like his hero costume that it hurt.

"You're not…" Uraraka tried to swallow, but her mouth was dry. "You're not going to hurt anyone, are you?"

"Only if they try to do something stupid," Deku replied in an offhand manner while he put on the last piece of his costume. "We're only supposed to scare them, but there's always that one person that tries to be a hero."

That person used to be Deku. He had told her the story about why All Might had chosen him as his successor: how, quirkless as he was, Deku had jumped onto the scene to save Bakugou from a sludge monster villain even though he had no hope of doing anything. And then there was him saving her from that zero point robot during the hero course exam. That was the kind of "something stupid" that Uraraka had admired him for.

Deku stood in front of her and held out his arms. "How do I look?"

Uraraka's eyes traveled up and down him. "Like you're ready to take on the world," she answered honestly.

"That's my girl," Deku quipped with a grin. Words that had once made her heart skip a beat now just made her want to hide. "Now, come on. You can't stay here while I'm out. I wish you could, but that's the orders. Besides, I don't trust these guys to stay away from you while I'm gone." He took her hand and pulled her to her feet. She slipped her shoes on and then followed him out the room, feeling like she was in a dream once again. "I really hate doing this - it's so uninviting - but you're not one of us yet, so we have to take extra precautions."

"Where are you taking me?" She'd noticed that they were going a different way this time.

This time, Deku didn't respond right away. His mind was distracted. When she caught sight of his face, she noticed that the light was gone from them again and she knew that wherever she was going wouldn't be pleasant. At the end of the hallway, a woman sat in a chair flipping through a magazine in front of a door. It was strange to see a villain read something so average as a girly magazine.

As they come up to her, she looked up and her heavy-lidded violet eyes landed on them. A languid smile appeared on her face as she stretched in the chair. "Off to have some fun, Midoriya?"

"It's a shame you can't join, Ikeda," Deku said in a light-hearted tone.

"My skills are put to better use here," Ikeda replied, holding a hand out towards the door. She leaned in the seat to gaze at Uraraka, who was half-hiding behind Deku, and let out a tired sigh. "Oh, you're bringing her here? Poor dear. Does Kyōmu not trust her in your room?"

"Afraid not." Deku shrugged his shoulders. "House rules for guests."

"Such a shame," Ikeda said. She had a slow way of talking, as if she was closer to falling asleep at any given moment than Aizawa. It was a bit mesmerizing. "At least she'll be able to keep your boy company. I feel sad for him, being cooped up all by himself. It's not healthy in his condition."

Her words lit a lightbulb in her mind. She knew where Deku had taken her: the cells. Behind that door was where Todoroki was being kept. It didn't scare her as much as one might've thought. She was only trading one cell for another. This one might not be as comfortable, but she wouldn't be alone. It would also give her a chance to speak with Todoroki. She was certain that they'd been kept apart for a reason. Now they were going to be locked in a room together. She was ready for it.

Ikeda stood up and opened the door, calling out in her low voice, "Todoroki, you've got company."

Sitting on a cot inside what looked like an old prison cell was Todoroki. He was hunched over with his forearms resting on his knees, his face cast in shadow until he slowly raised his head. Unlike her, he had not been given the chance to shower or change and he looked rough for it. Dark shadows hung under his eyes, similar to Deku's, and there was a haunted look about them that reminded her of right after Deku's death. Quite frankly, he looked as if he'd been wrung out too many times and had little left in him.

They connected eyes and he pulled himself up straight, although it looked like it took some effort. Her feet moved on their own accord until she was standing in front of his cell, even managing to ignore Ikeda as she unlocked the one connected to it. He had a massive wall put up right now. Besides the exhaustion and shadows, she couldn't read anything on his face. It looked like he was barely holding it up though.

"I'll be back soon," Deku told her, pulling her away from Todoroki. He turned her around so that she was facing him, putting a finger under her chin and kissing her sweetly. When he pulled away from her, she stepped back into the cell - one) to appear cooperative and two) to get space in between them. They stared at each other as Ikeda shut the door and locked her inside until finally he turned towards the other villain. "Make sure nothing happens to her while I'm gone. If there is so much as a hair out of place, there will be consequences."

Ikeda lazily saluted him. "No worries, boss, your girl is safe with me." Deku nodded his head and glanced back at her for only a second before turning on his heels and walking out the door, leaving the three of them alone in an uncomfortable silence. Ikeda strolled towards their cells and leaned against the bars. "How do you want to do this, hon?"

"Pardon me?" Uraraka furrowed her brow, not anticipating Ikeda's behavior. She wasn't antagonistic at all like Uraraka had come to expect from the other villains here.

"I mean, do you want to spend your time here asleep in la la land or do you want to be awake in this hell hole?" Ikeda wiggled the fingers of her left hand, drawing Uraraka's attention to them. Her quirk must originate in her hands like Uraraka's zero gravity. "You can have a nice dream and wake up when Midoriya gets back."

Uraraka gave her an unimpressed look. "I'll stay awake."

"Probably a good call." Ikeda leaned her head against one of the bars, looking all for the world like she could fall asleep right then and there. "The dreams are always touchy for first timers." She grinned at Todoroki. "Isn't that right? Kyōmu digging around in your head right before probably didn't help."

Chuckling to herself, Ikeda meandered out of the room like a bored cat and shut the door, finally leaving Uraraka and Todoroki alone for the first time in days. It was difficult for Uraraka to tell how long they'd been here, but it had to be at least two or three days. Deku had brought food to his room for her to eat, but without a phone, watch, or window, she didn't even know if it was day or night right now.

As soon as Uraraka was certain that Ikeda had gone back to her post, she bolted to the side of her cell that was connected to Todoroki's and wrapped her hands around the bars. "Thank everything you're alive!"

Todoroki looked like he was considering standing up, but then shook his head. Better to stay sitting and conserve what little energy he had. She let go of the bars, stepping back until she was sitting on her cot like him. "You look…" His voice was rough, probably from screaming. "You look well."

It was stupid, but Uraraka blushed. "I feel terrible. Deku has given me so much and you're-"

"No, I'm relieved," Todoroki cut in, looking her in the eyes. "When they wouldn't let me see you, I got worried, but then no one would even tell me where you were. 'You don't need to worry about her anymore.' That's all I was given to work with." He fingers twitched in the air, but then he stilled them. "When I saw you with Midoriya, I thought at least he was telling the truth. Have you been with him this whole time?"

Uraraka nodded her head. "For the most part. I've just been in his room. I feel like some sort of doll…"

"He's trying to live out your old life together as some sort of fantasy that he's built up while with the League." Todoroki's gaze dropped to the floor. "That's not going to last forever." She thought back to that moment when he had tried to deepen their kiss and push her against the wall. No, it was not. She would always love him, but she couldn't give him what he wanted right now. "Has he...tried anything with you?"

Damn Todoroki for being so painfully observant.

"Just once, but he stepped back when I asked him," Uraraka answered.

"At least he has some notion of boundaries," Todoroki said thoughtfully, "even if it doesn't extend to psychological torture. Maybe it's just me."

She chewed on her bottom lip. This was territory that she didn't want to chart, but she needed to figure out what was going on in his head. She didn't want to come in here one day and find that he wasn't himself anymore. She thought that he looked afraid of that as well. "How…?" How could she word this? "How are you holding up?" It was an inadequate question for what they both knew was a deadly serious matter, but she didn't know what else to say.

"It's… I don't know how to describe it, Uraraka," Todoroki said. "It feels like my mind is being split open like a melon and everything is spilling out." He pulled himself further back onto the cot with some effort and leaned against the wall, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. "There are things that I know happened and things that I know didn't, but then when he puts everything back in, it's hard to tell which one is which."

If they were going to figure out a way to save Deku, then they needed to find a way either around that villain's quirk or through it. Experiencing it firsthand was one way to get information on it, but that hadn't been in either of their plans. She watched the way Todoroki swallowed and how he was holding onto his knees. He was scared, but he couldn't admit it. He had to stay strong or admit that he would succumb the same way that Deku had.

"I can feel him in my head, like he's digging around through my memories, sifting through my emotions and thoughts." Todoroki forced himself to breathe steadily, but she could see him struggling. "You can't hide anything from him. I've never felt so exposed in my life. Every fear, every desire, everything I even hid from myself - it's all out in the open for him to take and _twist_."

Uraraka wanted to reach out and take his hands, but he was sitting just out of her reach. It was probably strategic, but neither one of them would acknowledge it. Physical comfort was not Todoroki's strong suit and he was showing too much weakness as it was. There was nothing she could say right now to make things better either. He could only work through this by getting it out of his head. At least he had her. Deku had had no one.

"He...pulls up memories and shows them, like a picture, and sometimes they're real and sometimes they aren't," Todoroki continued. "Sometimes he just changes little things about them. Maybe how you reacted or what a person said to you." A painful expression crossed his face as he thought back to them. "He doesn't have to change much about my childhood. Maybe that's what hurts the most."

"You can fight this," Uraraka insisted. "You can resist him."

Todoroki shook his head. "I don't know if I can, Uraraka."

"But-"

"You don't understand," Todoroki interrupted, opening his eyes and dropping his head so that he could fix her with a level stare. "I don't know if I _want_ to. That's how strong it is. I can already feel the change in me. It's small, but I can feel it and it's so…" He clenched his fists. "I'm so angry. There are flashes when I forget everything except how much I've gone through - how unjust it is and cruel it all was - and I want to burn it all to the ground. I could kill Endeavor. I want to, gods, I want to _so bad_." His fists had started to shake. She had no doubt right now that if he had not been injected with that quirk inhibitor drug, both ice and fire would be blooming right now. "And then I'm back to normal and I know what I felt is wrong and what I remember isn't real, but I can't forget how it felt to be…"

Uraraka looked down at her feet. "To be free."

A sigh that was more like a breath escaped Todoroki and he stopped trembling. "Yeah." There was shame laced in his voice, but mostly it was just exhaustion. "I know it's false. You don't have to tell me that. Everything's a lie and it's already getting difficult to tell the difference after two sessions."

"Only two?" Uraraka prompted.

Todoroki nodded his head grimly. "Apparently he can only use his quirk once a day on a person or there's a high chance of turning them into a useless vegetable."

She could only wonder how many times Kyōmu had used his quirk before figuring that out. Who knew how many people he had hurt while learning his abilities. Deku clearly hadn't been his first subject. "So we've been here for two days then."

"Coming up on number three soon, I imagine," Todoroki added. "It's about that time for another session."

This time, Uraraka stood up and walked over to the bars that separated them, sliding a hand through a gap and holding it out to him. Todoroki took a breath and stood up too, grabbing her hand and stepping forward until he was leaning against the cold metal rods. She squeezed his hand and he almost flinched, but then returned the gesture and laid the side of his head against the bars. They could pretend that she was the one that needed comforting.

"If you ever start to get too confused about what's real, I'm here for you," Uraraka told him. "Tell me what he showed and I'll tell you the truth." She would be his center as best as she could. It wasn't much, but for now, until they figured something else out, this was all they had. He nodded his head. "You're not alone."

"I wish I was," Todoroki replied. He stood up straight and looked her in the eyes. "It won't be long before Deku puts you in a situation that you can't fake - and then he'll figure out the truth." The open look in his eyes made Uraraka's heart skip a beat. He knew so much. Too much. There were too many memories and thoughts locked in Todoroki's mind for the taking right now and Kyōmu would use every single one to twist Deku further. "You didn't ask him to take you because you wanted to be with him, did you?"

She swallowed and stared back at Todoroki. He had been unconscious during the time that Deku had almost mauled Bakugou. He hadn't seen her throw her life in Deku's hands in order to save Bakugou. She had a feeling that someone had told him in between when she'd seen him being tortured and now, probably Dabi, who would use Todoroki's inability to protect her as a way to wound him. Todoroki would've understood the significance of her actions even if Deku was ignoring it.

No, she hadn't. Todoroki was right. It wouldn't be long before Deku knew that too.

Uraraka pulled her hand out of his grip and he let her, so she could fiddle with her fingers. There was no way she could possibly explain what Deku had been like in that moment. He had been broken. His history with Bakugou was a lot more complicated than any of them knew. She wondered how much Deku had told Todoroki, but she couldn't imagine that it was much more than her. It had to have been worse than he'd let on, although she believed that Kyōmu had messed with his memory to make things worse.

That story about Bakugou telling Deku to kill himself the morning before Bakugou had been attacked by that sludge monster though? As horrible as it sounded, as much as she didn't want to believe that he had said anything like that, she knew that it was true. It upset her, although she knew how much he had grown since then. They had all matured since middle school, but he had had to do a lot more growing than some.

"Did anyone die?" Todoroki asked point blank.

She shook her head. "Deku said they didn't. He was...disappointed in himself. I think you and Bakugou were supposed to be killed, maybe others too."

"But he didn't kill us." Todoroki paused to think about this and then rubbed his forehead with his thumb and forefinger like it might prompt an idea. "What changed his mind?"

"It was Dabi's idea to take you," Uraraka explained, even if she didn't understand it fully herself. "It sounded like it was meant to be a personal jab to Endeavor. He is your father and the number one hero right now, after all."

For the villains, taking Todoroki was a much better route than killing him, considering his power and connections to other pro heroes. Maybe it took more out of Kyōmu and weakened him or his quirk since he had to use it on two people. Any break would help.

"Uraraka," Todoroki began hesitantly, pulling her out of her thoughts, "why did you come with them?" Her heart skipped a beat. He sounded hurt. "Midoriya said you asked him to take you."

She dropped her gaze back to the ground, unable to look him in the eyes. After all that he had done to protect her and keep her from this very spot, she had willingly gone with Deku. It had to hurt. "I didn't have a choice. Deku… You didn't see what he was like. It was so awful. He was going to hurt Bakugou. He-" She put her hands to her mouth as tears welled in her eyes. "Deku was going to cut off one of Bakugou's hands."

It hadn't seemed possible that Todoroki could pale further, but he did. "He...what?"

"He kept talking about how awful Bakugou made his life with his explosion quirk and how terrible people become heroes even when they do bad things and he…" Uraraka closed her eyes. "I couldn't let him do it, so I told him that he was right and to take me with him. It was the only thing I could think to do. I couldn't let him maim Bakugou like that."

Todoroki stepped away from the bars and ran his fingers through his hair. "I thought Deku would just go for the kill with Bakugou. I didn't think he'd resort to torture."

"I didn't know what else to do," Uraraka repeated tearfully, as if pleading with Todoroki to understand her. Forgive her even. "It was so horrible. We thought we knew what we were doing, but we didn't." She collapsed back on the cot in her cell and Todoroki did the same. "I've never been so scared in my life."

"Judging by how much in love Deku is with you still, you've done an excellent job in hiding it," Todoroki said. It was supposed to be encouraging, but his words felt more like a knife twisting in her heart. She didn't want to use Deku's love for her to keep herself safe. She didn't want to use something so good like that. Todoroki must have caught the pained look on her face. "I know you still love him. It's obvious how much this is tearing you apart."

"I don't know if I can love him in the way he wants," Uraraka admitted, shame creeping inside her.

"I'd say you don't have to, but…" Todoroki sighed. "Things aren't so simple when your life depends on it."

Uraraka pulled her feet on the cot and drew her knees to her chest. "Kind of takes the romance out of it, huh?" She wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her chin on top of her knees. "He sure is trying though. He played our song and had us dance to it." That knife dug further in her chest. "He told me about how he was planning on proposing to me."

On his cot, Todoroki froze. "Uraraka…"

"It's okay," Uraraka said. "I understand why you didn't tell me. It would've only hurt me more." She took a breath. She had to let the pain go. It was the only way she could move past this and work on figuring a way out of here. She couldn't do that with a clouded mind and hurt heart. "I'm just upset that you've had to deal with so much of this on your own. I should've been there for you more."

"You were," Todoroki told her. "You are. More than you'll know."

She could hear him growing weaker and knew than he needed to rest if he was going to survive the next session. There would be more time for them to talk later. She laid down on the cot and, taking the signal, he did the same, sighing as he gave in. It wasn't long before Todoroki drifted off. The sleep that the quirk inhibitor drug gave them wasn't restful and he had been worn thin by the brainwashing sessions with Kyōmu. The combination left him weak, so he had to rest often in between if he was to keep up his strength.

Uraraka laid on her cot, watching his chest rise and fall as he slept quietly. There was an almost peaceful expression on his face, like this was the only time he could breathe. Hopefully his dreams were good ones. He looked like he hadn't slept properly in weeks, although they'd only been here for two days, but maybe he could rest easier knowing that he wasn't alone now. Despite being locked in a cage, she felt better with him in her sight.

It was perhaps that easiness that allowed her to drift off. There was little else for her to do and keeping an eye on Todoroki eventually lulled her to sleep as well. She didn't feel safe, but locked up and with Deku's threat looming over everyone, she felt okay enough to fall into a light doze.


	17. Chapter 17

**notes:** Well, this morning's episode thoroughly wrecked me. I cried a lot. How about I make things worse? I can promise you that things will...get a little better soon. We're about to come to a head, starting with this chapter. Deku's position with the villains is an interesting one and being protective isn't always a good thing. Warning for violence. Deku is not a happy camper.

* * *

 _"If you have not been a villain at a certain point in time, you will never be a hero. And the day you are a hero, you may become a villain the next day."_  
 **\- Carlos Ghosn**

* * *

Minutes or an hour later, when Uraraka woke up from hazy dreams, it was to hands around her throat. The second she recognized what was happening, her eyes snapped open and she immediately reached to grab the assailant's wrists that were pressed up against her chin. They only squeezed harder, tilting her head back harshly, and she wheezed, but then her eyes latched onto the person choking her.

Panicked as she was, it took her a moment to figure out who it was. She didn't recognize them at first and her brain was more focused on trying to fight and breathe than piece together information. It was the villain from the other day, the only one in the hallway that hadn't spoken when Deku first had brought her out of his room. He had only glared at her in the background. She remembered how furious he had looked, like he wanted to wring her neck.

"You think just because you belong to Midoriya that you're safe?" the villain hissed, squeezing harder. Uraraka clawed at the man's hands, her nails digging into his skin, but he didn't let go. He had a death grip on her. "You don't belong to him though, do you? Oh no, I remember you, Uravity, running around with another hero. That damn Ground Zero. You two ruined everything for me. Took away my entire life when you caught me."

Uraraka gasped desperately for air, wheezing out, "Stop," but of course he didn't listen. She kicked her legs up and down on the coat, her ankle banging painfully against the metal bar in the process.

The sound startled Todoroki awake. At first, he moved like he would to use his quirk, but nothing came. Less than a second later, he saw what was happening in Uraraka's cell and he jumped to his feet. "Hey, hey! Let go of her!" He reached through the bars, but couldn't reach them. All he could do was wave his hand uselessly in the air. "Stop it!" He banged on the cage bars loudly with his hands and feet, going absolutely wild. "Somebody! He's going to kill her! Let go!"

Just as her vision started to go black, Uraraka managed to pull one of her legs in between her and the villain choking her. She kicked out hard, her foot bending at an awkward and painful angle, but it had the desired effect of knocking the villain away from her. The second his hands left her throat, she sucked in a gasp of air that hurt so bad that she fell into a coughing fit. The villain came at her again, growling furiously, and she kicked again, her heel connecting with his nose, and he stumbled back against the bars of the cage.

Before he could attack her again, Todoroki slipped his arms through the bars and around the villain's neck, holding him back tightly. The man kicked and pulled on Todoroki's arms, screaming obscenities that would've had Bakugou raising his eyebrows, but Todoroki didn't let go, no matter how weak he'd felt before. Uraraka pulled herself up, gently touching her sore neck.

The door to outside the cells swung open and Ikeda hurried inside. Her heavy-lidded eyes flew wide open at the sight and she exclaimed, "Murai, you idiot!" She fumbled for the keys as the villain unsheathed a knife and slashed Todoroki's arm, forcing Todoroki to shout in pain and let go of him. Right as the villain came at Uraraka with the knife, screaming in rage, Ikeda unlocked the cell and bolted inside to smack him in the back of his head and he crumpled to the ground like a sack of rice.

A strange silence followed the man's fall into unconsciousness. Uraraka was pressed against the back of the cell in a stance ready to fight back and take control of the knife, her neck red and already starting to bruise. Her neck was aching, her lungs and throat burning, and her ankle throbbing. She was having trouble standing up, but didn't want to show it. Todoroki was holding onto his injured arm, blood slipping through his fingers and dripping onto the concrete floor.

Ikeda stood over the unconscious villain, Murai, breathing heavily and frowning down at him. Her fingers twitched as she touched her lips. "He's going to have some bad dreams." It was a cringing thought voiced out loud.

It occurred to Uraraka that this would be a good shot at trying to escape, but she didn't even know where they could go. Besides, without her quirk, she felt more anxious than she wanted to admit and her ankle was starting to really hurt. She didn't think it was broken, but after hitting it against the metal bar and bending it weirdly in that kick, she knew that she'd done something to it. Todoroki was standing, but holding Murai back had zapped the energy out of him.

Before Uraraka could say anything, the door opened and Dabi appeared. He took one look at the scene, swore tiredly, and stepped inside fully. "What the hell happened here?"

"This is bad," Ikeda mumbled to herself. "This is really bad. He's going to be very unpleasant to wake up."

Dabi snatched her by the shoulder and spun her around to face him. "What happened?"

"He said he just wanted to talk to her," Ikeda muttered, blinking groggily, like she was the one waking up from a dream. "I didn't think he would… I didn't think a little talking would harm anyone. We all know what Midoriya is like…"

"He did a little more than talk," Dabi said coldly, waving a hand in Uraraka's direction. "Look at her." He stepped back out of the cell, rubbing the bottom half of his jaw, the purple skin stretching in an ugly manner. "Remember the last time someone hurt her? They're _dead_. Hase was lucky that she was left behind for those damn heroes to take." He swung his right arm around and rubbed where it connected with his shoulder. "He nearly broke my arm for _almost_ burning her."

Uraraka was rendered speechless. The way they were talking about Deku - it almost sounded like they were afraid of him. Dabi had most likely referred to the villains that Deku had killed because they had hurt her while she was in the process of capturing them. Hase must've been that knife villain that had attacked her multiple times, striking her once in the thigh. Deku had cleaned and patched the wound when she'd first been knocked out by that quirk inhibitor drug.

After his eyes flickered over Todoroki, taking note of his injury, Dabi fixed a flat glare on her, as if telling her not to try anything, and then grabbed Murai by the back of his collar, brusquely dragging him out of the cell and throwing him on the floor. "Wake him up," he ordered.

As Ikeda stepped forward, Dabi reached back to slam the cell door shut again. Uraraka returned his glower and lowered herself down onto her cot. Bending down into a couch, Ikeda tapped Murai on the face a few times before he jumped awake with a scream, like he was coming out of a horrific nightmare. He scrambled to get away from Ikeda, who slowly stood back up, but couldn't seem to find his footing.

Murai's whole body shook. "Wh-what-?"

Dabi interrupted him, dragging him up by the front of his shirt onto his feet and shoving him into the wall. "What the hell were you thinking?" At first, Murai didn't answer. Whatever Ikeda's quirk was, it must have done a number on him. Blue flames appeared in Dabi's hand, flickering in the air like snakes. "Weren't you taught not to play with things that don't belong to you?"

When Uraraka squirmed on the cot, Murai's eyes locked onto her past Dabi and he snarled. "That hero - she ruined my life - her and that bastard Ground Zero."

Recognition struck her like lightning. She'd thought that the villain looked familiar, but she couldn't place his face. She and Bakugou had caught him a month back, working together by combining their quirks to bring him down, although he'd been officially labeled as Bakugou's collar. That was why he had slipped under Deku's radar. The fight had been fierce and the villain had gone out of his way to endanger civilians. After catching him, she had gotten into it with another pro hero for getting cocky and causing too much collateral damage.

"Midoriya thinks she belongs to him?" Murai snapped. "He's dead wrong. He didn't see the way she and Ground Zero worked together. That wasn't just friendliness. I'd be doing him a favor by getting rid of her!"

Dabi slammed his hand against the wall next to Murai's head, fire exploding and making Murai flinch. "No one here cares about your personal vendetta, not when it goes against the rules. I don't care what she did to you. Were you not warned of the consequences of touching her?"

"Since when do you listen to _Deku_ so much?" Murai mocked.

"Since I have a brain and he broke me out of prison," Dabi replied, smacking Murai upside the head like he was an annoying child. "Not to mention you cut the other one. You know what recent injuries does to Kyōmu's quirk. He won't be pleased either." Murai looked infuriated, his eyes swinging to all of them in the room, but he couldn't get an edge in. "Now I'd get as far away from her as possible before Midoriya returns."

"Pathetic," Murai spit out. "You're all so scared of him."

"Scared of who?"

Everyone in the room whipped their heads around to swatch as Deku walked into the room. His hair was a wavy mess and there was a curious look on his face, looking relatively normal minus wearing his villain outfit. There was no blood on his clothes at least. Whatever he had left to do, it was finished and it appeared as if no one had been killed, at least not by his hands. Uraraka couldn't even be relieved. That might not be the case soon.

Dabi stepped away from Murai, pulling himself out of the scene and the crossfire. Ikeda shrunk in on herself and stepped back as well, like she could hide. Only Murai stood his ground, but he wasn't nearly as confident as he was seconds ago. Maybe his words were coming back to haunt him. Deku eyed the three villains, waiting for an answer, when he finally turned his focus to Uraraka. The change in him was immediate. Any brightness in him fled as the light smile vanished from his face. He snapped his fingers and Ikeda unlocked the cell.

In a flash, Deku was kneeling in front of Uraraka, peeling her hands away from her neck. She didn't know why she'd tried to hide the growing bruises from him. All she could think was that it would be terrible for him to know. His hands hovered over neck, his fingers lining up with the bruises. "My gods, Ochako…" When his fingers touched her skin, she tried really hard not to flinch. It didn't hurt, not with how delicate he was touching her, but it still made her think of those hands wrapped around her neck, squeezing the life out of her. "Who did this to you?"

Uraraka couldn't answer. Honestly, she was afraid to talk because of how much her throat hurt, so she shook her head. She was afraid to tell him anything. He brushed her hair out of her face and stood up straight. She could see him changing before her eyes: going from soft and warm with her to hard and cold until it was like he was a completely different person. The others must've noticed it too. Todoroki's gaze turned wary while Dabi and Ikeda glanced at each other, like they were witnessing a car crash that they'd seen before.

First, Deku turned to Ikeda, who brought her hands up in front of herself in surrender. "He said he only wanted to talk! I didn't give him my keys. He must have copied them." Gone was her slow, deep way of talking. She was much more jittery now, reminding Uraraka of when someone got a burst of energy after being awake for so long.

"I told you to make sure nothing happened to her," Deku warned. "I entrusted her to you."

"I know, I know," Ikeda said in a soothing voice. It did nothing to placate Deku though and she knew it, shrinking back against the wall.

"I told you there would be consequences," Deku said coldly, his quirk glowing in his clenched fists and up his arms. Ikeda swallowed, but nodded her head, a sickly expression falling over her pale face. His eyes swung over to Dabi, who shook his head in disappointment, until they landed on Murai. "You did this?"

Murai licked his lips. "Midoriya, I did this for you." Uraraka was the closest to Deku, so perhaps she was the only one who saw him begin to visibly shake. It was so small, but it made a chill run up her spine. If Murai had noticed, then maybe he would've stopped there, but he didn't and they all had to watch him dig his own grave. "That witch is lying to you! She didn't come here for you. She's trying to trick you. I saw her when I was captured. I saw how she was with Ground Zero. She's manip-"

In less than a second, Deku held Murai by the neck, lifting him off the ground so that his feet were scrambling for purchase and he was gasping for air. He clawed at Deku's hand and wrist just as Uraraka had done with him when he'd been choking her. It was pointless though. With his quirk activated, no one was stronger than Deku. Blood flew out of Murai's mouth when Deku slammed him hard against the wall.

"Not another word!" Deku cut in viciously. "I won't have you talking about Ochako like that!"

It was like when that one villain that had commented that Uraraka smelled like nitroglycerin. Anything related to Bakugou was clearly a trigger for Deku. That villain had gotten away with it then, perhaps because it was such a mild comment and Deku had been distracted by what was about to happen. This villain, on the other hand, had done everything terribly wrong. He'd pressed every single button and Deku was vibrating with rage.

Murai kicked weakly in the air and could only manage to wheeze out, "Ground-" before Deku yelled in fury and threw Murai across the room, causing Uraraka to gasp and the others to flinch. Murai crashed into a table, breaking it into pieces, and practically bounced off the wall and fell to the ground in a thump. Somehow, he was still alive, but Deku stalked towards him and slammed a fist into the side of his face as he was trying to push himself up. There was an audible and terrible crack of bone breaking as Deku struck him again so that he wouldn't move.

"What did I say about Ochako? What did I say?" Deku raged. To be honest, Uraraka didn't think Murai would be able to talk if he tried. The two punches Deku had given him had broken his jaw and half of his face was a swollen, ugly mess. The bruises rising on her neck had nothing on his face. Deku slammed the heel of his left boot down on Murai's hand, his bones crackling like wood over a fire as they broke, and Murai let out a horrific, garbled scream. "She is not to be harmed in any way! She's under my protection. She's with me! She's mine!" He stomped down a few more times for good measure, as if to ensure that Murai could never touch her again. "But you didn't listen and I won't have some petty, weak villain hurting her ever again!"

Behind him, Dabi and Ikeda watched in silence as Deku beat their colleague to death. He was on one knee, striking Murai again and again, even after it was obvious that the villain was dead and blood was splattered everywhere. Ikeda wore an ill look, but was holding herself in a very still manner, as if terrified that Deku would turn on her if he saw her move and remembered how she had failed him in keeping Uraraka safe. Dabi was more passive, watching the scene with wary but mild interest. He looked like he enjoyed seeing Deku break like this, but also knew that he could be next if he wasn't careful.

Even Todoroki had gone deathly quiet. He must have been as horrified as she felt. While Ikeda and even Dabi turned their gazes at times and Uraraka had to close her eyes at some point, Todoroki never once looked away. He watched as Deku continued to strike, as bones broke, as blood sprayed, not even blinking. It was like he was committing this moment to memory. Maybe to remind himself of what he would become if he let Kyōmu's quirk win.

The whole scene devastated Uraraka on a level that she wasn't prepared. This wasn't her Deku. He had always been incredibly protective and passionate, but never this temperamental and violent. It was like he was breaking into jagged pieces and there was nothing she could do to piece him back together. This must have been how he was with the other villains he'd killed. She had seen the pictures and known how awful their deaths were, but it was nothing compared to seeing Deku destroy a person now.

Uraraka herself felt destroyed, her hopes and dreams crushed. This was a nightmare.

When Deku finally stopped, the villain that had attacked her was unrecognizable. It was almost impossible to look at what used to be his face without getting sick. Deku stood up, swaying slightly, and wiped his face with the back of his hand. With his back to everyone in the room, she couldn't see his face, but she saw enough blood on his hands and spatter around him to know that it wasn't a pretty sight. He swallowed and took deep breaths, head tilted back, his whole stance reminding her of Kyōmu after he had used his quirk on Todoroki.

"I don't understand," Deku sighed, sounding exhausted. "I'm doing all the heavy lifting here - I'm the one making most of he sacrifices and doing more than half the work - and I asked for one thing. Only one thing!" He finally turned around to face them and Uraraka cried out a little. "Not to touch or slander Ochako!"

It was like someone had thrown a bucket of red paint all over him. His green eyes eerily like lights, contrasting with the dark blood. He'd taken his red gloves off, but it was hard to tell with how covered they were now. It was like he'd dipped his hands in blood. His costume was mostly black, making it hard to see the red, but the glossiness of the wet blood stood out.

"Do you understand?" Deku demanded.

"You got it, boss," Dabi said, no mocking tone in his voice, just straightforward agreement.

Ikeda bowed her head. "Of course."

Deku pointed a warning finger at her. "And don't think I'm letting you off the hook." Ikeda actually winced and nodded. She had to be older and could've potentially knocked Deku unconscious with her quirk. Uraraka did not doubt it before, judging from the way she'd reacted to Murai attacking Uraraka. He shook his head like he was trying to get his bearings straight. "We're leaving."

When Deku stepped towards her cell though, Uraraka jumped to her feet and blurted out, "I want to stay with Todoroki." It proved to be too quick of a move and she stumbled a little when her ankle almost gave out. Deku furrowed his brow, but then his eyes went to the ankle that had bent too much when she'd stood up.

Dabi coughed. "You are a little…bloody." He shrugged his shoulders, as if it made no difference. She had to wonder if he had seen Deku like this before. Maybe when he'd killed those villains after the break out. He'd gone a lot more berzerk on them as well than his previous kills.

Deku glanced down at himself, as if he'd just now come to the realization that he was covered in blood. His eyebrows raised curiously as he looked at his front and then his hands, flipping them palm up and back. "Oh." He looked back at Uraraka and she couldn't even try to disguise the fear in her eyes. She'd never seen something so violent and personal before, not even in movies. It took her breath away, but in a terrible way.

"I'd get cleaned up first, if I were you," Dabi suggested.

"Right." Deku bit his lip thoughtfully, but then made a face when he tasted blood and spit it out. He tried to wipe off his face again, but he only managed to smear more blood. "Dabi, I'm leaving you in charge here since somebody" - he shot Ikeda a look and she shriveled - "can't handle simple orders." Dabi nodded his head. "I swear, if something happens to her…" He let out a breath, as if he'd been about to activate his quirk. "I don't even want to think about that."

Swinging a lazy gaze over Uraraka and Todoroki, Dabi considered them with those eerily bright blue eyes of his. "Not a hair out of order."

"Todoroki is hurt too," Uraraka pointed out.

Deku carefully examined Todoroki, who almost looked like he was trying to hide his wound. It made no matter what he did since blood was seeping through his fingers. He had to get it taken care of, unless he wanted it to get infected and make him even more delirious than the brainwashing quirk was already doing.

"Ikeda, find someone that can tend to Shoto's injury," Deku ordered. She jerked upright and nodded. "You'll have to alert Kyōmu and suffer his consequences as well."

Blue flames appeared in one of Dabi's hands. "I could always cauterize the wound."

Todoroki immediately tensed. The wound was on his right side, the half where his ice quirk resided. One burn was bad enough. He had been careful throughout the years to avoid getting another one.

"Forgive me for sounding rude," Deku sighed, "but you're not exactly a trusted source on medical treatment with those burn scars covering half your body." The blue flames went out and Dabi made a face as if to say that it was Deku's loss. "You'll also need to find someone to help you clean up this mess."

Ikeda made a noise that sounded close to throwing up when her eyes raked over the dead body. "Midoriya, please, I don't think I can-"

"I don't care," Deku interrupted hotly, shutting her right up. "You should've thought of that before you directly disobeyed an order." He scowled. "You're lucky that you're worth more alive."

It was so strange seeing Deku interact with these villains. Although he was ordering both of them around, Dabi seemed to be more on an even level with Deku, even if he did call him "boss". It was like a nickname, like how Bakugou had called him "Deku" instead of "Midoriya", except it wasn't exactly an insult. Maybe it had to do with the raw power of Dabi's quirk. Ikeda's was more passive and she seemed it as well. Instead of looking like she could fall asleep at any second, she looked like she'd never sleep again. Gone was the friendliness between her and Deku, replaced by sheer terror.

Uraraka couldn't say or do anything. It had taken a lot out of her to speak up about Todoroki. She stood still as Deku took a step towards her, hesitate when he seemed to consider his appearance again, and then turn to leave without another word. Even with him gone, the tension in the room didn't leave. It was impossible with the body lying in the corner of the room. Uraraka tried to avoid it, turning her back to it, but the whole scene kept replaying in her mind's eye.

Deku had been so angry . That had been the out of control they had all feared. She couldn't let him get like that, but then… It had been partly because of her. Kyōmu had been right. Her being here was actually helping Deku fall further into their clutches. It was confusing him, but also forcing him to dive deeper into the dark side of him that Kyōmu had dragged out into the forefront.

"That went better than expected," Dabi hummed. Ikeda let out a mirthless laugh. "Don't complain. You're alive. He practically turned Murai into a puddle of goo." He stepped closer to peer at the dead body, a slightly impressed look on his face. "It's still hard to believe that's the same kid I remember before going to prison."

"That's not him," Uraraka insisted, shaking her head.

Dabi's eyes flickered over to her. "Keep telling yourself that. You're in the most danger of us all. I'd hate to be the focus of that tsunami."

Of course she didn't want to believe it, but his words lit all of her nerves. She sat back down on the cot, looking away from him, and touched her neck again. Although there were no doubt bruises there, it didn't hurt nearly as much as it a few minutes ago. Breathing and talking were easier at least.

When she raised her head back up, she connected eyes with Todoroki, who was watching her through a guarded gaze. She could see Dabi's words ringing in his head. He couldn't protect her like he'd promised Bakugou that he would. He was failing, but she couldn't let him fall.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes:** A surprisingly...soft chapter after the mess of the last few ones, but I think that makes it sadder. I love Deku with all my heart, so it's hard writing him like this. I also love IzuOcha a lot, so doing this to them has been rough. Of course, you know what a quiet chapter means for the next one, right? I know the last chapter made people feel like Deku is beyond saving, but to be honest, that was nothing new. He's done stuff like that already. It's just the first time we (and Uraraka) have seen it firsthand. By that line, he would've been beyond saving before he even showed up in the beginning. As for whether this is Izuocha or Kacchako, it's both and neither at the same time. To be honest, ships are the last thing I'm concerned about endgame-wise. I know it's frustrating, but it is what it is. Thank you for sticking around and reading!

* * *

 _"Hard times don't create heroes. It is during the hard times when the 'hero' within us is revealed."  
_ **\- Bob Riley**

* * *

While they waited for Deku's return, Uraraka and Todoroki sat in a tense silence. Unlike when Ikeda had been the one guarding them, Dabi didn't leave the room, but he sat in the corner opposite of the dead body, paying them so little attention that it was almost like they weren't there. Ikeda came back before Deku with two other villains in tow, one of which she was surprised to recognize from their old days.

Nearly everyone from the old League of Villains had either been captured or killed while they had still been in school, but a few had escaped. Along with Kurogiri, Mr. Compress had vanished as well. The two of them had been the most difficult to capture because of the nature of their quirks and abilities. However, it appeared as if he was alive and well, looking slightly less theatrical wearing a simple half white and half black mask.

Uraraka watched with cautious eyes as Dabi lazily pulled himself back to his feet and conversed with the other three villains low enough to not be heard. They came to some agreement and split off in two groups. As Ikeda and the unknown villain slunk over to Murai's body, neither one of them happy with the job, Dabi and Compress walked over to the cells. Todoroki sat with a faint glower on his face, still holding onto his arm. The bleeding had slowed thanks to his keeping pressure on it, but there was still a chance for infection.

Dabi held the keys up. "Try anything and we'll find out if you're still fire resistant with that quirk inhibitor."

Todoroki didn't respond, which they seemed to take as understanding. Dabi unlocked the cell and Compress slipped inside. She'd forgotten how graceful he could be, something to do with his old life as an entertainer. He had the material necessary to take care of a wound in his hands.

The surprise on Uraraka's face must have been evident because Compress turned to her and pulled his mask off enough to display a wink. "You learn how to tend to wounds on your own when you perform a lot of dangerous stunts for the masses," he explained before sliding his mask back into place. Todoroki was clearly hesitant, but showed his arm when Compress held his hand out and tsked. "This is worse than when I was younger than you and playing with swords. Even worse, Murai wasn't known for cleaning his weapons well. A dreadful habit."

"He'll be fine though, right?" Uraraka prompted.

"It's a deep gash, but he didn't lose too much blood despite what it looks like," Compress said, eyeing the ground where Todoroki's blood had leaked everywhere. "Kyōmu might not be able to give Todoroki his session today."

Something that suspiciously felt like hope shined faintly in Uraraka's heart, but she couldn't let it overwhelm her. Interrupting use of Kyōmu's quirk had to weaken its effect. Consistent use had to be key, considering that Deku was still having it used on him to reinforce it.

"I offered to cauterize it," Dabi pointed out idly.

Compress sighed in an unimpressed manner. "You're just trying to make things worse for fun. As if we don't have to watch out for an infection already."

Dabi waved a hand and went back to sit down. "Just patch him up and be on your way. Ikeda has to inform Kyōmu of this anyways when she's done cleaning up that mess."

"I haven't seen Midoriya slip like that in a while," Compress mused. He must have been with this new League longer. Maybe he'd even seen Deku's transformation. "Not since we showed him those pictures." He hummed. "Young love is a powerful and beautiful thing."

Uraraka couldn't find it in herself to speak, not with the villains speaking so casually. She hoped that they might say something that could help her, but this sounded like everyday conversations. They didn't care if Uraraka and Todoroki were right there. Honestly, somehow, it made things worse. Deku was a part of their world, a member of their team. He had spoken to them about her, about his old friends, about Bakugou. They knew how Deku felt about her and their life together. It was an uncomfortable thought, one made even worse by the fact that Kyōmu had not only dug into Deku's mind and memories but was now doing the same to Todoroki.

Nothing was sacred. Nothing was secret. It made her feel exposed, like she was lying open on a surgery table and couldn't move.

"You know," Compress said in a conversational tone as he dressed Todoroki's wound, "this wouldn't be so difficult on either of you if you just gave in."

"That line didn't work on Bakugou back then," Uraraka said firmly. "It won't work on us." Todoroki's eyes flickered to her and away quickly, but then he nodded his head stiffly. "We're not villains."

Compress stood back up. "I've always found that term to be relative and easy to bend." He had such a polite way of talking and was known to be non-confrontational compared to the other villains in the League. It was sometimes easy to forget that he was a villain, one that had successfully kidnapped Bakugou as well back when they had been in their first year. "The same with heroes. Who's to say that you aren't the villains here?"

Uraraka bristled. "We don't-" She couldn't finish the sentence.

 _We don't murder people._

But Deku had.

She didn't have to finish for Compress to know what she meant. It was the easiest distinction to make between a hero and villain. With a quirk like hers, it would be deceptively easy to kill a person. Most people didn't consider her quirk to be made for combat, but it wouldn't take much for her to take a life. She didn't have to consciously hold back and watch herself like Bakugou, Todoroki, or Deku before all of this - she had always considered her quirk to be truly meant for rescuing people - but then neither did Compress.

"To tell the truth, I've actually never killed anyone," Compress told her. "Maimed, certainly, kidnapped and held someone captive - I'm certain you remember that - aided and abetted, but not killed by myself. It's best to leave that to other people." He walked out of Todoroki's cell and shut the gate. "By your standards, I suppose that would make me more innocent than Midoriya."

Uraraka didn't have a response to that, so she kept her mouth shut. She could've said that Deku was being mind-controlled - that he didn't have a choice - that it wasn't him - but Kyōmu had made it quite clear that some of it was up to him. Kyōmu had meddled with Deku's mind. He'd changed things around, pushed him to feel other things, planted thoughts and memories in his mind to guide Deku to make those decisions. Compress, Dabi, and the like hadn't needed a brainwashing quirk used on them to do the same.

Deku was different from them. She refused to believe any other way. She had to believe that she could bring him back, no matter what, even after what she'd just witnessed.

"Think about it, Uravity," Compress said. "You've seen what Midoriya is capable of. You could save a lot of people by joining us."

"I'll die first," Uraraka swore.

Compress shook his head. "I certainly hope not. Midoriya would be inconsolable and I don't want to know what he might do then. The world would be a dark place indeed." He turned his back to her, waving a hand to Dabi, and said, "I'll leave you to it then," before walking out the door.

Uraraka looked at Todoroki, who was examining his bandaged arm. He lifted his eyes to hers and nodded his head, allowing her to ease down on the cot. Compress' words sat uncomfortably in her mind. She could never join the League of Villains willingly, but she knew that Deku was hopeful that she would one day without being coerced by Kyōmu's quirk. It was a delusion, of course, one that the other villains surely knew, but it was like they were all committed to their roles of letting him continue that delusion, going so far as to even being kind to her.

 _You're still a hero, aren't you?_ That was what Deku had said to her first time waking up after getting injected by that quirk inhibitor drug. Maybe, on some level, he knew it was a delusion too, but he couldn't let it go just yet.

Deku returned shortly after that, wearing the same outfit he'd worn the morning he'd broken into her apartment and came back to life in her world. Considering he'd been drenched in blood and had manic light in his eyes not too long ago, his clean and crisp transformation was something of a shock. He looked put together and calm, as if he hadn't lost his temper so violently that he'd beat a villain into an unrecognizable pulp an hour ago.

"Let's get you out of here, Ochako. You've been in that cell for too long." Deku snapped his fingers and Dabi tossed him the keys, which he snatched out of the air without looking. Uraraka shot Todoroki a panicked look, but he shook his head slightly. Being separated made them more vulnerable, but fighting Deku on this would only make things worse and neither one of them could be sure of his mental state after what he'd done.

Uraraka moved to stand, but then her ankle stung sharply and she dropped back down on the cot with a hiss. Concern burned brightly in Deku's green eyes as rushed to her, dropping down to prop one hand on the mattress and the other on her arm. "Sorry. I'm fine. Must have bent it funny when I…"

"It's not fine," Deku replied. She was scared that he might fly into a rage again, but there was no one to direct his fury towards. Ikeda and the other villain had cleared out minutes before with Murai's remains. "I'll take a closer look at it and wrap it when we get back to my room."

Before she could insist that she was okay, he hooked an arm under her knees and slid the other under her, lifting her from the cot with ease. It caught her off guard and she wrapped her arms around his neck to keep from falling. Pressed so close to him, her face in the crook of his neck, he smelled so fresh, but she could've sworn that there was a hint of the metallic tang of blood underneath it.

Still, she couldn't help but be reminded of Bakugou carrying her up the stairs to her bed. His scent of alcohol and nitroglycerin. How long ago had that been now? It felt like a cross between another lifetime and a dream.

"Take care of her, Izuku," Todoroki called out before Deku carried her out the door.

Deku hesitated, but he didn't turn back. When she lifted her head to catch a glimpse of his face, he was wearing a strange look, as if for a moment, he didn't know where or who he was. He took a breath and that look faded away into a smile as he twisted his head to look back. The smile looked much more strained than normal. "Of course, Shoto! I won't let anything happen to her."

Without getting out of the chair, Dabi leaned over to open the door and Deku carried Uraraka out of the room. She kept her eyes on Todoroki until the door shut behind them and then leaned the side of her face against his Deku's shoulder. It was strangely comforting despite everything and she clung to him more than she should have, afraid that he'd change again if she let him go.

He walked to his room in silence, his muscles tense as he held onto her a little too tightly. There was a displeased air around him despite the smile and cheery voice he'd used moments before. He was still angry over what had happened, but was trying to hide it, maybe out of embarrassment for losing himself so thoroughly.

After entering his room, he carried her over to the bed and gently set her down on the edge. Before she could thank him, he said in a miserable voice, "I'm so sorry, Ochako." His head was hanging and he was looking at his feet, shame written in every line of his body. "I...I let you get hurt. I promised you I wouldn't. I even swore to Todoroki and Kacchan that you would be safer with me and I failed you."

Uraraka cupped his face and lifted his head so that he could look her in the eyes, but then Deku pulled away from her instead of leaning in like she'd come to expect. His rejection of her comfort strangely stung and worried her. If he grew distant with her, she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to reach him. His gaze landed on her neck and stayed there, as if he couldn't look away from the bruises that had formed. She saw a flicker of anger in his eyes again before it was replaced with guilt.

"Does it hurt?" Deku asked, reaching out to gently brush his fingertips over her neck.

"A little," Uraraka admitted.

The guilt poured over into his face and he stepped into her again, slipping his arms around her and burying his face against her shoulder. "I'm so sorry," Deku repeated, his voice muffled. "If I'd known he was a threat to you, I never would have let him get close to you in the first place." Meaning he would have killed Murai before he'd had the chance to hurt her. "I didn't protect you. You're supposed to _safe_ with me and now..." He lifted his head enough so that he could see the marks.

"The bruises will fade," Uraraka told him. "That's not what's bothering me though."

Deku pulled back, his brow furrowed as he gazed at her in confusion. "You were attacked. I failed you."

"I've been attacked before, Deku," Uraraka said. "I'm a hero." She dropped her hands in her lap and looked down, having trouble looking him in the eyes when she could see the ghost of the boy she remembered in them. "But I didn't feel like one today. You _scared_ me."

"I scared you?" Deku took a step back. She didn't want to admit that the space helped her breathe, but it did.

"Deku, you _murdered_ that man," Uraraka stressed in a pained voice.

He scoffed, suddenly very different. There was no more apparent shame. He didn't feel guilty for what he'd done, just for what he hadn't. "He _hurt_ you. Everyone was given specific instructions to not harm you and he didn't listen. He deserved to die." He shook his head. "Besides, he was a villain. What does it matter if he's dead?"

Uraraka formed fists on top of her thighs. "I've never seen you like that before." She closed her eyes, her thoughts flashing back to Deku repeatedly punching Murai over and over again and then to when Deku had been lording over Bakugou with a knife in his hands. Two extremes, but on different ends of the spectrum. There had been more pain than anger with Bakugou. "If I ever made you mad…"

Deku paled. "Ochako, you can't think that. I would _never_ do that to you. I would never hurt you. It would kill me."

"Would it?" Uraraka hid her face in her hands, trying to stop the tears. She was done crying. But witnessing him so out of control couldn't be anything but terrifying. No one could've stopped him in that moment. She had barely been able to stop him from hurting Bakugou any further, but if he was ever like that again, there was nothing that could be done short of…

Short of killing him.

"You have to believe me, Ochako," Deku pleaded, returning to her so that he could peel her hands away from her face and hold them in his. "I would never."

Despite his conviction, fear and grief bubbled their way to the surface and Uraraka couldn't hold them back. It was one thing to know that Deku had killed before for her; it was quite another to see it firsthand. He had been… Oh gods, he had been a monster. She hadn't recognized him in that moment. What if there came a time when she couldn't recognize him at all? What would she do then?

"I keep thinking that I'm not giving you what you want," Uraraka rambled in a panic, the words pouring out of her as her heart raced in her chest, "that I'm going too slow and you're going to get frustrated with me or won't believe that I love you. You're going to get mad. And I'm scared, Deku. I'm really scared. I don't want to see Todoroki like that. I don't want to see you like that ever again. I don't want to be afraid of you."

"Listen to me," Deku said. A whimper escaped Uraraka and she took a shaky breath to stop herself from crying. She was getting too worked up, but she couldn't get the image of Deku covered in blood out of her head. "Listen to me, Ochako." She bit her lip, brown eyes locked on green ones. "I would rather die than hurt you. I might not be the hero I once was - and I'm grateful to be released from that - but I will never be your villain. Do you understand?"

Uraraka nodded her head. She thought she did. It made her think of what Deku had said about Bakugou: how Bakugou had been the hero of his own story, but because he had terrorized Deku, Bakugou had been the villain in his. Deku wouldn't be that to her. But then her fight with Bakugou in their first year Sports Festival came to mind as well: how people, even pro heroes, had called Bakugou a villain for the way he'd fought her, but she had seen a hero in him for treating her with respect and not going weak on her.

Standing up straight, Deku pressed a kiss to her forehead and said, "Let me take care of you." He let go of one of her hands and smoothed a hand down her head. "There's not much I can do for the bruises around your neck. I'll get you a hot towel so we can keep the swelling down. Maybe a scarf to cover them up if you like." His hand fell down to her neck again, his touch so gentle and loving. "I can at least wrap your ankle. It looks swollen already."

"Thank you," Uraraka managed in a hoarse whisper.

As Deku set about taking care of her, Uraraka sat on the bed in a strange limbo. After witnessing and hearing so much in such a small amount of time, she was too mentally and emotionally exhausted to do anything else. Deku was careful with her as he wrapped her ankle, resting on his knees at her feet. She closed her eyes and let out a breath as he delicately ran a hand up her calf and rested it on her knee. Her heart skipped a beat. It reminded her all too much of those nights when he had helped with her wounds at home after a rough villain takedown. He was gentle with her then too, his touch comforting and kind, sometimes turning into something more.

At the thought and as if sensing he was thinking the same thing, Uraraka pulled her leg up at the same time as Deku sat back. Heat flooded her face as she turned away from him slightly. Deku sat with his eyes closed. He swallowed down anything he might've said to her and then tiredly rubbed his face. It must have been exhausting to constantly hold himself back with everything, not just his quirk, but with her, Todoroki, the other villains, whatever he felt for Bakugou and his old friends. It was no wonder he had exploded with the villain that had tried to kill her.

"Are you afraid of me now?" Deku asked, not looking at her.

Uraraka hugged her legs to her chest. "No, not when you're like this - when I know you."

"When you know me," Deku repeated to himself. He pulled himself to his feet, his eyes shining with the need to be understood, to be known. "But you _do_ know me. You saw me right from the start. You've always been intuitive and able to read people."

"Maybe," Uraraka replied, "but sometimes I don't know if it's you or if it's Kyōmu."

"It's me," Deku insisted, putting a hand over his heart. His tie was too short again, just as it had been the morning he'd broken into her apartment. He'd never outgrown the habit even after three years at U.A., something she'd always found cute. Not even Kyōmu's quirk could break him of it apparently or Kurogiri could teach him to tie them the right way. It was very him and it made Uraraka's heart drop into the pit of her stomach. "Kyōmu only opened the doors to a new life."

Uraraka stared back at him, too worn thin to hide from him. "I don't know if there's room for me in that life."

"I'll _make_ room," Deku told her. "Just...be patient with me too." His eyes were so pained. "I need you by my side."

All she could do was nod her head in response. She could tell that he wanted to come back to her, so she stretched out her legs, lowering her feet to the floor, and Deku stepped forward to wrap his arms around her again and lay his cheek on top of her head. It was a solid hug, one of safety and care. It was the kind of hug that said, _I'll take care of you._ She closed her eyes and tried to revel in it, tried to accept it, tried to believe it.

This was Deku.

But if that had been Deku too, she didn't know what he expected of her. Todoroki was right. No matter what Deku said, it wouldn't be long before he asked something of her that she couldn't give or do.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes:** And this chapter finally marks the return of Bakugou! Kind of. I missed writing him in this fic. He just demands attention. Also, I love writing jealous and possessive Deku, so this was a fun one. This chapter connects with Chapter 13, so we've officially caught up and are back on track with the timeline.

* * *

 _"Show me a hero and I'll write you a tragedy."_  
 **\- F. Scott Fitzgerald**

* * *

After taking a deep breath, Deku pulled away from her and asked, "Are you hungry?" Her immediate thought was of Murai's dead boy, so no, she wasn't, but there was a strange glow in Deku's eyes that she couldn't ignore, so she shrugged her shoulders in response. "I'm hungry. I'll get us something to eat - a snack. What do you want? Wait! I'll surprise you."

He was manic, similar to how he would get when he'd get an idea and start mumbling to himself. She missed those moments. When she'd first met him, it had thrown her off, but after a while, she had gotten used to it and the sound of him muttering to himself had comforted her. They could be at their apartment and she would hear him going at it while watching the news on tv while she was in another room. She'd always smile to herself. It was just so him. He couldn't help himself, even after all these years.

This though? His rambling threw her off and she couldn't keep up with him.

Before she could even say anything, Deku kissed her on the cheek and then practically ran out the door. He was buzzing with energy. It was like he'd been holding it all in while trying to be calm and soothing with her before, but he couldn't hide it any longer. He had been energetic before, somewhat high strung and always in motion in his fight to become the number one hero, but this was different.

While he was gone, Uraraka slid off the bed and carefully made her over to the closet so that he wouldn't aggravate her ankle. She opened it and slowly crouched down on one foot until she was sitting down so that she could see her reflection in the broken mirror. Tilting her head to the side, she took a closer look at her exposed neck, which she hadn't been able to see for herself. As soon as she saw the bruises, she hissed.

No wonder Deku had reacted so furiously. The bruises around her neck were ugly and noticeably shaped like fingers. It still ached some, but not nearly as bad as before. Hopefully they would fade soon. She had a feeling they would only serve as reminders and would aggravate Deku further.

Sighing tiredly, she pulled herself up and shut the closet door. Putting most of her weight on her good foot and ankle, she leaned her forehead against the wood and closed her eyes. It had only been about three days, but it felt as if a lifetime had passed. So much had happened. She'd spent half of it unconscious and yet she was still worn to the bone.

No, she had to push further. She had to reach deep inside herself and light the fire that spurned her forward. There was no way that she was going to give up. No until she died would she give in to despair. She wouldn't give in like Mr. Compress had said and she wouldn't simply accept that this was how things were. Life would never be able to go back to the way it was, not with all the things that Deku had done, but she couldn't let him go either. She loved him too much to do that.

The door opened and Deku stepped inside. The smile fled from his face when he saw her standing. "Hey, what are you doing up?" He rushed to set the tray of food down before hurrying over to her. "You could aggravate your ankle doing that."

"I'm fine, Deku, honest," Uraraka replied, although she let him guide her back to the bed. She could put pressure on her ankle well enough. It hurt, but it wasn't impossible to walk on. If she pushed herself through the pain, it wouldn't hurt anymore. That was what she did whenever she got hurt while on the job. It was what Deku had done. What Bakugou did. What Todoroki was doing now. It was what heroes did.

"I know, but I want you to be careful," Deku told her as she sat back down. "Look, I-I got a few things." He turned back to grab the tray and set it on the bed next to her. "I didn't know what you want so I…" His mind caught up with his mouth and he stopped to look at her, biting to his lip and breathing quickly. Hesitantly, he reached out to run his fingers through her hair. "Is this okay?"

"Yeah," Uraraka breathed, "it's okay."

A smile twitched back onto Deku's face. He sat down on the bed, the tray of food in between them, and she pulled legs up so that she could sit cross-legged and face him. They used to do this before, back when they lived with each other. On the days when he had some extra time in the morning, he'd make breakfast and bring it to her in bed. They could spend their morning together without getting out of bed, the comforter still warming her legs and pillows behind her back as the sun lit up the bedroom.

There was very rarely a special occasion for it; he just liked doing it for her. That was the one of the sweetest things about him. He didn't wait for it to be a certain day to do special things for her. There would just be flowers on a Tuesday or he'd make her lunch with a silly note attached on a Thursday or she'd come home to him drawing a bath for her just the way she liked it on a Monday or she'd wake up to him kissing her cheek and she'd turn to face him and open herself up to him and it was so sweet and good and she would miss all the sleep in the world for a moment like that on a Saturday.

He wanted that again. She could see it in his eyes, hear it in his words, feel it in his hands. He wanted their life.

But it didn't fit with the one he had now. He had to know that.

"Oh, watch this!" Deku said excitedly, snatching a few grapes from the plate. He practically jumped off the bed and got in a stance, picking one grape with his fingers out of his hand. "I'm better at it now. Lots of practiced." Tossing a grape up in the air, he leaned forward to catch it with his mouth and then grinned at her triumphantly. "Good, right? I used to miss all the time before."

Uraraka smiled at him and clasped her hands together. "Very good. But you still move too much."

"You think you can do better?" Deku teased playfully.

"I know I can," Uraraka responded. She picked a grape and tossed it in the air, catching it with her mouth without having to move from her spot on the bed. She swallowed it down and then stuck her tongue out at him. He had such good coordination thanks to training and his quirk, but for some reason, he could never master something as simple as catching food with his mouth. He'd always beamed himself in the face or threw it too off. "You need a little more control."

Deku shook his head, but there was a gentle smile on his face that made her heart yearn for more. "Show off." He picked another grape and threw it up in the air, this time spinning around and then leaning back to catch it with his mouth. He turned back to face her and held out his hands. "Tada!"

"You really have been practicing," Uraraka said.

There had been so many playful moments when they would take turns tossing small bits of food back and forth to each other on the couch or over the counter that separated the kitchen and the living room. Half the time, Deku would either miss or get hit in the face, but they would laugh every time, despite his mounting frustration. He never got angry over it though. Sometimes, as a joke, she would toss something to him, but her quirk would be activate. He'd go to catch it, but then it would never come down, so he'd look ridiculous and she would laugh herself silly.

Uraraka moved to do it, but then hesitated and set the food back down. She couldn't do it now since she didn't have access to her quirk.

Luckily, Deku missed her hesitation, so quick that it was almost like it hadn't happened. He was brimming with an excited energy, pleased to have captured this sweet moment of their old life with her. It was giving him a false sense of hope, but one that she didn't dare take away from him. To be honest, she was relieved to see him like this, even if it was such a stark and terrifying contrast to how he'd been hours ago. Despite her fears, she found herself relaxing and reveling in the brightness that surrounded him.

This was the Deku she loved, she told herself. This was the Deku she'd missed.

When he paused to gaze at her, she could feel his desire wash over her. It would've been the perfect moment for it too, just what they would've done before. Those little moments when he was laughing and smiling without a care in the world, as if he didn't have its weight on his shoulders at all times. It was too much. She'd feel herself swelling with the need for more and he'd sweep her in his arms and carry her to the bedroom or lean over her on the couch or even be silly and roll onto the floor.

How many times had he told himself to be patient? Even before he'd appeared back in her life. She'd had to mourn him; he'd been forced to bide his time. It left two different kinds of wanting in them.

A knock on the door cut the tension in the room, drawing both of their attention to it. "Hey, Midoriya?" an anxious voice on the other side called. She vaguely recognized it, knowing she'd heard that voice before, but couldn't connect a face to it. Whoever it was must have been told about Deku's explosion. They didn't sound too excited to be fetching him.

Deku huffed. "What is it now?"

"You're needed."

"I asked to not be disturbed," Deku sighed, like the job of being a villain was an inconvenience sometimes. "Can't you all do things without me for one minute?"

"Yeah, um, we would, but…" The discomfort could not be more obvious. "This is something you need to see. Kyōmu doesn't want you to feel blindsided."

Deku furrowed his brow and his body went slack. The mention of Kyōmu seemed to have some sort of effect on him, perhaps making him more submissive, but it was hard to tell. He might've just been confused and lost in thought about what they could possibly need him to see that was so important.

After casting a glance at Uraraka, Deku started for the door, but stopped when Uraraka said, "You can't keep doing this." He didn't move to face her at first, keeping his eyes locked ahead of him, but she knew that his focus lied on her and her words. He licked his lips and then opened his mouth to counter her, maybe question what she meant, but then he closed it again. He knew better. "Locking me up in here. Leaving me to wait for you to return. You can't. It's not…"

"I know," Deku said quietly to the door.

"I'm not some sort of doll," Uraraka told him.

Deku closed his eyes. "I know, but you have to be patient. We both have to be patient. It's the only way." And then he left her alone again, his body tense and sullen.

Maybe she shouldn't have reminded him that they couldn't keep this up. As much as it shamed her, it had been nice to live the illusion, if only for a little. She was so tired of having to put up a front with him. He had done so many horrific things, but then he'd do something as silly as try to do tricks while catching grapes with his mouth and she wanted it so desperately to be real. It cut away at her heart. It was all too easy to fall back into the thought that they were back in their home together, just the two of them enjoying a rare day off together.

Every time he left her though, the dream was shattered and she was left in a hollow state.

Not knowing how long she would be left alone this time, Uraraka was caught off guard when Deku throw the door open, so hard that the door knob banged against the wall and put a dent in it. She drew back on the bed. "That was quick-"

When Deku's eyes landed on her, Uraraka pulled herself further away unintentionally. There was anger in those bright green eyes and pain as well. He looked manic again, but in a different way. She had nowhere to go, but she still flinched away from him as he stormed over to her and grabbed her by the wrist. "Come with me." His tone was mostly flat with just a hint of something underneath it, something that made her resist briefly.

"What's going on?" Uraraka demanded, finding herself being pulled off the bed. She landed hard and stumbled when he pulled her across the room to the door, wincing before she could stop herself. Deku hesitated, his eyes flickering to her bandaged ankle, and he took a deep breath. He clearly had been prepared to drag her through the hallways, but if he did that, she'd hurt herself and he would be going back on his word again.

The walk to the room where they'd first appeared upon stepping through the warp gate was a slow and painful one, not just because of her sprained ankle. She halted and involuntarily pulled back a little when she saw that there were other villains in the room, but Deku pulled her forward and she had no choice but to move. Half their eyes were on her while the others were focused on a television.

Uraraka was busy glaring back at them when her eyes snagged a familiar voice saying, _"...unsure of his motives at this point,"_ and her attention snapped to the screen.

There, standing in front of the UA gates, were Aizawa and Bakugou, the latter of whom was wearing most of his hero costume sans his grenade gauntlets. Aizawa was as unreadable as ever, not even these hounds of reporters able to breach the wall he put up. As much as he hated the media, preferring to stay hidden, Aizawa was the perfect defense against them. Sure, he could get worked up about his students and colleagues, but it was hard to rile him up.

Bakugou, on the other hand, could not hide his fury, no matter how much impassive he tried to appear. He was doing his best to maintain a blank face, but there was so much heat in his red eyes that the cameras seemed to flinch away from him and tried to focus on Aizawa alone. He had his arms folded across his chest, a tightly coiled spring of barely contained anger, ready to explode at any moment. He did poorly with reporters as well, snapping at them and brushing off questions that he thought meaningless. In his mind, being liked had little to do with being a hero, despite what Kirishima and Uraraka had tried to impress on him.

The fact that he was out there willingly facing the reporters, who were no doubt acting ruthlessly, meant a lot. When his eyes caught the camera for the news station the television was tuned into, a breath hitched in Uraraka's throat and she had to bite back a gasp. It was as if he was looking directly into her eyes, like he knew she was watching and he could see her. She felt known and terrified at the same time.

 _I'm coming for you._ That was what those eyes said in her mind. She wondered if Deku saw the same.

As a reporter began to hammer them on their plans to protect civilians. video to the side popped up. Uraraka's eyes widened. It was a video clearly shot with a phone camera of their battle with the League and Deku to save Kaminari. Someone had captured it and the leaked the video to the public. It left Uraraka floundering. Now the public knew what Deku had turned into. The public must have been left floundering. He'd been in the top five at his death. Hero society was being rocked.

When questions turned to the topic of Uraraka's and Todoroki's kidnappings, Deku's grip on her wrist tightened to the point of being painful. She bit her lip, not wanting to make a sound, and jerked a little. When it didn't get his attention right away, she jerked harder and he let go of her wrist without looking back at her or apologizing. His entire focus was locked on the screen. No, it was on Bakugou.

The one reporter's question about whether or not Uraraka's decision to go with Deku willingly meant that she was a villain caught her off guard. Truth be told, she hadn't thought about what it might look like to outsiders when she had held out her hand and told Deku to take her with him. It had never crossed her mind that people would think she was a villain too. The only things on her mind had been stopping Deku and saving Bakugou. She couldn't afford to worry about anything else. There hadn't been the time. She hadn't known what else to do and if that would even work.

She knew that Bakugou was going to snap just from the way his eyes flashed and he ripped the microphone out of the offending reporter's hands. The camera zoomed in on him, the video of the fight falling to the wayside.

 _"_ _Listen up because I'm only going to say this once,"_ Bakugou snarled, righteous indignation on his face. _"Uravity is a damn hero. She saved our lives that night, as she has done countless of times before. She saved_ my _life."_ She could only stare at the screen as his words pierced her heart and bounced around in her head. He wasn't talking to the reporters. He was talking to them - to the villains, to her, to _Deku_. _"I'm not going to tolerate any of you assholes speculating about her integrity. You don't know a damn thing about what she's gone through. She is stronger than any of you know and she has and will do everything in her power to save everyone."_

There was a clear shift in the room, many of the villains casting looks her way. There was Ikeda in the corner by the door, seemingly hiding under a large shawl, glancing in her direction with dark shadows under her eyes that rivaled Aizawa's on the television. Mr. Compress was standing to her left at the wall, hands casually tucked into his pants pockets with a leg bent and foot propped up on the wall. Even with his mask on, he looked curious. Uraraka recognized the villain that had sniffed and teased her about smelling like nitroglycerin, a smug grin tugging at her lips as she breathed deeply and sighed. A few others were there, ones that she recognized and many that she didn't.

The one noticeable absence was Dabi, who must have still been in the cells with Todoroki. It made her anxious, knowing the two were probably alone, but she couldn't do anything about it. Kurogiri stood near the television, his vibrant yellow eyes focused on Deku instead of her. It was hard to gage what he was feeling, but he seemed almost...concerned. Even Kyōmu was in the room, his eyes sweeping from Deku to Uraraka.

She wanted to glare at him, but Bakugou's words had taken the breath right out of her chest. He was so livid about the reporter's accusation, so passionate in his defense of her, that it was almost blinding. He was squeezing the microphone so tightly that she was worried he might explode it.

Bakugou wasn't done though. Her mind was sent reeling when she said that the villains were scared because of how quiet they'd been since the drag out fight a few days ago. What was he talking about? Scared? Was he trying to piss them off? Deku was practically vibrating with rage beside her, back to where he'd fallen hours ago. No, no, she couldn't let him do that. She couldn't let him fall victim to that anger again, but she was terrified of touching him. The moment Bakugou had started talking about her, Deku had gone cold.

 _"_ _It's clear that the League is relying on Deku's strength, so what does that tell us? Besides him, they're weak. They're nothing but a bunch of cowards who barely have the ability to keep Deku completely on their side. Take him out and they'll crumble."_

When Bakugou pointed directly into the camera, Uraraka's heart skipped a beat. Oh. He was trying to piss them off. He was talking directly to them. The media was just a means to an end. Bakugou wanted to draw Deku back out into the light. Maybe they'd developed a plan in the last few days. Maybe he was just furious enough to do something absolutely crazy and stupid. She wanted to beg Bakugou to stop - to somehow reach out to him through the screen and shake some sense into him - but this was him making a stand. So far, Deku and the villains had set the court every single time. This was the heroes attempt to make the villains come to them.

 _"_ _And I'm_ going _to take him out. Mark my words. Your time is coming to an end and I will get Uraraka and Todoroki back."_ The sneer on Bakugou's face was reminiscent of their early days at UA, ugly and thick with smugness, the kind of look that would throw Deku back to when Bakugou had lorded over him with his strength. _"Unless they're too afraid to come out of hiding."_

Uraraka closed her eyes for a few seconds and tried to steady her breathing. What had Bakugou done? They had no idea what Deku was capable of. None of them did.

On screen, the camera panned to show Bakugou storming away while Aizawa continued to answer questions, but it was clear that Deku had checked out the second Bakugou had shoved the microphone back into the reporter's hands. A few of the villains eyed him edgily, Kyōmu with more than a hint of interest, but no one said anything. It wasn't until Kyōmu snapped his fingers that the villains began to move and file out of the room through various exits. Kyōmu was last, tapping his chin thoughtfully, but then he too left, so that Uraraka and Deku were alone.

Instead of feeling safer with the other villains gone though, Uraraka felt boxed in and trapped. They'd left her with Deku for a reason.

And that reason was that he was about to erupt.

"Is it true?" Deku asked, his eyes on the screen as the news station showed old footage of pro heroes Ground Zero and Deku together back in the day. There was Bakugou's muted aggravation but respect while Deku smiled and waved at the camera after a well-done villain takedown. Uraraka bit her lip. What could she say? She couldn't just lie to him. He would know the truth. "Is it true?"

"Deku, I-"

"Don't lie to me!" Deku snapped, his voice strained and hurt. Uraraka pressed her lips together. He turned his head to gaze at her, his face filled with anguish. It was a look that spoke of betrayal. "Did you come here for him? Did you just ask me to take you so you could save him? Was it about Kacchan this whole time?"

Never. Yes. No. Maybe. _No._

Uraraka closed her eyes and swallowed. "Please-"

"Is that who you want?" Deku pointed the screen which showed Bakugou snarling and practically threatening the reporters again. He looked dangerous on there, but Deku felt dangerous here. "Is that what you want?" She shook her head, lips trembling as she tried to come up with an answer. "Why? Why did you come here? Why did you ask me to take you if it was only for-?"

"It was the only way," Uraraka cut in.

"The only way for what?" Deku demanded, turning his body completely to face her. "Did you come here for me or for him?" He stepped closer to her and it took everything in her will not to step back. The power radiating from him was overwhelming and he hadn't even activated his quirk. "Answer me, Ochako! For him or for me?"

"I came here for you!" Uraraka shouted, clenching her fists at her side. "I came here to save you!"

Deku stared at her, light flickering in his eyes, like one second it was him and the next it wasn't. There was a hard edge to his expression, one that made her think that if she said the wrong word, it would be all over. He'd take her to Kyōmu. He'd have her twisted under Kyōmu's quirk. He would get what he wanted, but at a price and she was scared because then Deku really would be gone for good.

"Prove it," he said, the words sounding as if they had been scraped out of him.

Uraraka held up her hands and dropped them in defeat. "What do you want me to do, Deku? What can I possibly do to prove it to you? To show that I'm here for you?" Tears stung her eyes, angry and scared and devastated. She shook her head and took a shaky breath. "What? What do you expect of me?"

"I want to know that you didn't just come here for Kacchan!" Deku yelled back, catching her off guard with his anger and possessiveness. "That you belong with _me_ and you're _mine_ and you love me, not him!"

"I do love you!" Uraraka exclaimed, forcing herself toward him. She held his face in her hands, wishing against everything that she could activate her quirk, and pressed her lips against his in a searing kiss. She put everything she had into it: all her desperation, fear, rage, love, grief, hope, desires. She gave it all to him right then and there, not holding herself back.

Gods, she'd fucking _missed_ him. She wanted him to come back to her so badly.

Deku reacted instantly, taking hold of her arms and kissing her back just as fiercely. He pushed hard against her, forcing her backwards until her back slammed into the wall. One of his hands slid up her neck and into her hair, tugging on it almost painfully. He kissed her until she was gasping for air, like he was claiming her, as if he could mark her as his, and no one else would be able to touch her, least of all Bakugou.

He only stopped when he had to breathe and he pulled away only an inch, pressing his forehead against hers, his whole body vibrating with just barely contained wanting. He moved his hand from her hair to touch her cheek, rubbing his thumb over a pink circle, and pressed his other hand against the wall by her head.

"He wasn't lying though, was he?" Deku murmured. "You _did_ save him. You did it to save him."

"I did it to save you _both_ ," Uraraka replied, her voice cracking as her throat constricted. Her fingers dug into his hair, clinging onto him tightly and pulling him closer. "I couldn't… I couldn't let you hurt him like that." Deku took a shuddering breath, but he didn't pull away like she feared he would. "You never told me exactly what happened between you two when you were kids. You had every opportunity and I would have… I would have probably hated him for what he did to you."

Deku said nothing, only breathed, and she had to believe that was a good thing. Every word she said made her feel like she was digging her grave deeper, but they had to be said. It was bound to come out sooner or later, so it might as well be now. Of course, it didn't make her any less afraid. If she said the wrong word, there was a chance that Deku would snap, no matter what he'd told her earlier.

"But you didn't talk about it. You didn't want us to think he wasn't a hero. You knew he was, despite everything, and by believing in him, you gave him the ability to grow into who he is now." Uraraka pulled away from him, but forced him into look her in the eyes. She didn't care if she looked like a mess right now. She didn't care if he saw the pain and fear in her eyes as long as he saw how much she cared too. "I couldn't let you dash that away, one of your greatest abilities as a hero."

Deku scoffed halfheartedly. "And what's that?"

"To see the good in people and bring it to the light," Uraraka told him. "To forgive but never forget." She gave him a watery smile. "I wouldn't be the hero I am today without you. Neither would Bakugou or Todoroki, Tsu or Iida." Her lips trembled and her hands shook. "I had to save you both. It was the only way. I had to save Bakugou in order to take the first step in saving you."

"What happened?" Deku asked sadly, looking deflated. "What made you care about Kacchan so much?" His shoulders slumped. "If it wasn't just for me…"

"You were _gone_ , Deku," Uraraka told him. "For you, it was just biding time - you knew that you'd see me again - but you died for me and I was alone for an almost entire year."

It hurt to speak of it, not because this time had been her weakest and lowest point, but because he couldn't possibly understand how she felt. He'd missed her? At least he had known that he would hold her once again - a least he saw her from a distance or in pictures. She'd had nothing but memories and the ghost of his presence in their home.

"I didn't want to leave you alone for so long," Deku said.

"But you did," Uraraka cut in. "And I was alone. Tsu tried so hard to help me. Iida did what he could. They all attempted to be there for me. Even Todoroki…"

He'd had trouble opening up about his pain as much as her. It had been easiest with him sometimes, if only because she'd known that he wouldn't push her to talk. He didn't expect anything from her. He didn't worry about her falling apart. He was simply there for her. She could cry in front of him and he wouldn't try soothe her with platitudes or comforting words. Tsu, Iida, and Kirishima had been amazing sources of comfort, but sometimes they were too much. And sometimes none of them were enough and she still felt empty.

Uraraka took a breath. "But then there was Bakugou. You might not believe it, but your death devastated him and he couldn't admit it. He felt like he'd failed you. So he did what he believed you would want. I was so alone in that darkness - it was all I could do at times to do my job - and he threw everything he had into bringing me back into the light." Her eyes flickered to the television screen. This time they were showing old footage of pro heroes Ground Zero and Uravity. "He was a hero for me in the way that you were for him."

Silence overtook them. Uraraka couldn't be for certain if she had messed up or not. Deku had gone quiet, his eyes having fallen to the ground and his touch weak. His body was limp, as if all the fight had been sucked right out of him. She wanted to think that was a good thing, but she was too wary to feel any sort of hope.

She swallowed a lump in her throat. "Deku?"

Instead of responding to her, Deku squeezed his eyes shut. "He's not even here and I can feel him taking you away from me. I saw the way you responded when you saw him on the screen. You…" He opened his eyes to look at her, but this time, she didn't recognize the look in his eyes. "Are you even mine anymore?"

"I knew that I'd always love you." A fire sparked in Uraraka. "But you left me alone for eleven months with no hope of you returning. It wasn't like I was waiting for you to come back. I thought you were _dead_. Did you want me to be alone forever?"

"No, I-" His brow furrowed. "Do you miss him?" Of course she did, but she couldn't say that. "Are you thinking about him whenever I'm near you?" He ran a hand down her arm. "When I touch you?"

"It's not like that!" Uraraka insisted angrily.

"Then what is it?" Deku demanded. He pointed at the screen. "I should've killed him. Then you could've forgotten about him like you did me."

Uraraka reacted without thinking. She took her hands, placed them on his chest, and shoved him as hard as she could. Taken aback by her unexpected move, Deku stumbled back away from her. "I never forgot you! I spent countless nights crying just because our bed felt empty without you! I wished so many times that I'd fallen into the ocean with you! Don't you dare say that I forgot you when it would have been easier if I had!"

His eyes widened in shock and hers did the same once she realized what she'd done. She had put her hands on him; she'd pushed him away and yelled at him. That kind of act could send him into a tailspin. When he took a quick step towards her again, she flinched instinctively and he froze. Horror flooded his eyes and he took a few more steps away from her, his fingers twitching at his sides.

And Uraraka knew: something irreparable had been broken. The illusion that Deku had tried to build was cracking and she couldn't piece it back together once it shattered.

What came after when he pulled himself together was someone with a sharp and angry edge that made her wary.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes:** First of all, I can't believe I've made it to twenty chapters on this monstrosity. Yowzers. Also, I might have food poisoning (no wonder I felt like crap yesterday), but I managed to get this chapter up. If there are any typos or whatnot, it's because I wrote this after getting sick and then passing out for five hours. I'm feeling a little better now, but I wanted to get this up before I eat dinner in case I get sick again. Thank you for being patient with me! Next chapter will mark the return to Bakugou's POV, so yay to that.

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 _"Hard times don't create heroes. It is during the hard times when the 'hero' within us is revealed."_  
 **\- Bob Riley**

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Uraraka knew that there was no fixing this. There was no amount of soothing words and touches that could placate him or turn things back to normal. Whatever normal was these days. Even if there were, she wouldn't have done them. She wouldn't take them back even if she could. Despite the anxiety and fear that were washing over her as they stared at one another, there was a sense of relief.

It was out. The truth was out, as it always did in the end.

She couldn't keep lying to Deku - lying to herself. Todoroki had known that. She had thought by letting him live out his illusion with her that it would save him, protect him, bring him back to her. It hadn't. Instead, somehow, it had taken him further away from her. She had tried to give him what he wanted as much as she could handle without betraying herself, but she couldn't do it. She couldn't keep deceiving him like this. It hurt too much. He deserved better.

A part of her wanted to reach out to him, to call to him, but she couldn't do that. He had to come to her this time, but she was afraid that he wouldn't.

Instead of coming to her, Deku walked over to one of the doors and ripped it open to demand, "Where is Mizumi?" There was a mumbled answer that Uraraka couldn't hear. Apparently a few of the villains hadn't gone too far, probably so they could eavesdrop on her and Deku's argument. It was embarrassing on such a petty level. There were so many worse things to worry about. "I don't care Where is she? I need her here now!"

Uraraka tried once more to steady her breathing as her eyes frantically swept the room. Should she find a weapon to protect herself? Did she need one? Deku had promised not to hurt her - he had sworn that he would rather die than bring her to harm - but that was before she'd been completely honest with him. What would he do now? Who was he calling for?

Deku dragged a woman into the room with them, one that Uraraka recognized as the villain that had sniffed her and said she'd smelled like nitroglycerin. She had been smirking a little while ago during Bakugou's interview on tv; she wasn't smirking now. Her bright green-yellow eyes flickered from Uraraka to Deku and she was reluctant to step closer to Uraraka.

"Do it," Deku demanded.

The villain, Mizumi, hesitated and turned to Deku. "You might not like-"

" _Now_ ," Deku stressed coldly, shoving Mizumi forward.

Uraraka took a step back. "Stay away from me."

Mizumi glowered sullenly. "Trust me, I wish I could."

"She won't hurt you," Deku said. "I promise." That didn't put Uraraka's mind at ease one bit, especially when his voice was so devoid of emotion. There were a lot of things that Deku had said were good that clearly weren't. Todoroki's conditioning under Kyōmu's quirk being only one of them. Gods, she wanted to be with Todoroki right now. "She's just here to find out the truth."

Uraraka wrapped her arms around herself. "The truth?"

"My quirk helps me detect certain scents on people that I can...divine truths from, emotions, wants, fears," Mizumi explained, waving her hands in the air thoughtfully. "A weak quirk, all things considered, especially compared to Midoriya's or yours, but it comes in handy during interrogations." She stepped closer to Uraraka, who found herself backed into a corner and unable to move away any further. What truths did Deku want? She had told him everything. She had been honest with him. "Whether a person is telling a lie, where they've been recently, who they've been with, sometimes even what's on their mind or who their heart belongs to… It all depends on how strong each impression is."

Deku folded his arms across his chest. "Go on then."

After taking a quick glance back at Deku, Mizumi leaned forward and took a long sniff near Uraraka's cheek, her eyes closed in concentration. It put Uraraka wholly on edge and her entire body tensed up as she held in a breath. For a few moments, there was nothing but silence as Mizumi breathed deeply, as if she was sifting through all the scents on Uraraka that told her story. Deku tapped his fingers impatiently on his arm, but kept his mouth shut as he stared at the back of Mizumi's head. Uraraka could only gape at the villain.

Finally, Deku reached his limited patience. "Well?"

Mizumi slowly opened her eyes, locked onto Uraraka's, a little frown on her face that only Uraraka could see since her back was to Deku. "She smells like you."

Behind her Deku let out a breath and turned around, running his fingers through his hair and muttering under his breath to himself as he nodded his head. She couldn't tell exactly what he was saying, but it sounded like he was either comforting himself or confirming something. All she could tell was that he looked relieved, the tension from his body mostly gone. Immediately, the air in the room felt less dangerous, even though she knew that she wasn't out of hot water yet.

As if to confirm her fears, Mizumi leaned forward and hissed in her ears, "You do smell like him, but I'd wipe that stench of nitroglycerin if I were you. You reek of it. Get rid of the ice as well. Your only concern should be Midoriya. He's not the sharing type."

When she pulled away, knowing eyes that almost looked desperate locked on hers, Uraraka could only stare at her in horror. She didn't know what to say or if there was anything she could. How could she not be worried about Bakugou or Todoroki? Except she was afraid that wasn't what Mizumi had meant, at least not about Bakugou, and it made her stomach turn. Her main concern _was_ Deku.

"Is that all?" Mizumi asked, turning to face Deku. He didn't look back at her, just waved a dismissive hand. She gave Uraraka one last parting glance and then swept out of the room in a hurry, holding a hand over her face, as if the smell in the room was overwhelming and she couldn't stand to be in it a second longer.

Before Uraraka could react, Deku had turned back around and was on her in an instant, gripping her by the arms. He looked mostly pleased, which threw her off, considering that they had been fighting seconds ago. Mizumi's half lie had calmed him down tremendously. She must've have realized somehow that he was a hair trigger away from exploding something fierce and had done what she could to bring him back down. Still, there was something off about him now that made Uraraka even more uneasy. She didn't really smell like that, did she?

"You're good, Ochako," Deku murmured, smoothing down her hair with one hand. His grip on her arm tightened though despite his gentle words. "You're so good." It sounded more like he was reassuring himself than talking to her. "Of course you love me. I don't know why I doubted that. Sometimes, things just get so confusing that it's hard for me to think straight."

Uraraka cupped his cheek with one hand. "That's Kyōmu's doing. Can't you see that?"

"No, no, he just showed me the truth," Deku insisted, shaking his head. "You'll see once he's done with Shouto. He'll be so much happier."

"I don't believe that," Uraraka told him.

"It's a bit of stretch - I understand - but you'll see. We can't let anything hold us back. Kyōmu helps with that." Deku kissed her on the forehead and then pulled her close so that her chin was tucked on his shoulder, one of his hands on the back of her head and the other wrapped around her waist. "I just have to take care of one more thing and then we can move on. We can be happy again." He softly rested the side of his face against her head, but dug his fingers into her head and gripped her hip. "I've got to kill Kacchan."

Uraraka tried to jerk out of his grip, but he was unrelenting and didn't budge. "Deku, that's not-"

"It has to be done," Deku told her, refusing to let go no matter how much she squirmed. "He's holding you back and I won't have it. I should've killed him the first time, but you caught me off guard." His turned his head slightly so that his lips were at her ear and she froze. "You are a hero. Kacchan wasn't wrong about that - I suppose I'll have to teach that reporter a lesson as well - but he shouldn't have said the things he did. I have to kill him. I've put it off for too long, afraid it would upset you too much, but he's only hurting us."

Unable to escape his hold, Uraraka gripped the back of his vest tightly. "Please, don't do this. If you do, I don't know if I'll be able to forgive you."

Deku let out a sigh. "That's a bridge we can cross when we get there." He pulled back so that they could look each other in the eyes, their faces so close to one another. "Besides, you forgave Kacchan for everything he did. Even if you didn't know the details, you knew it was bad and it went on for years."

"I only did because you did," Uraraka said.

"I thought I did," Deku said, "but it's funny, when you look back, how much it still _hurts_." She could see the pain in his green eyes that he tried to keep hidden. Kyōmu must have dug up every heartache, every fear, every hurt - all that anger, desperation, sorrow - and made Deku feel it all over again. No wonder Deku was so twisted over the whole thing. "I have to do this not just for me and the League, but for us. No more wasting time." As the pain faded from his eyes, a determined look came over him, but it was dark and cold instead of passionate and warm like she remembered. "You heard him on there. Mocking us - mocking _me_. I can't allow that. I'll take care of him and show him once and for all who's better."

This was the opposite of what she wanted, but there was nothing she could do about it now without setting him off again. She could see the determination written in his body, the way he was holding himself upright as he stepped away from her, his fists clenched not in anger but readiness, the light back in his eyes. She couldn't reach out to him if she tried. This was something that he had to work through himself. This was something that he had to take care of. Bakugou was a hurdle, a brick wall, a red light. Deku couldn't - they couldn't - go any further until he was dealt with.

Even worse, Uraraka knew that it was exactly what Bakugou wanted. He'd intentionally goaded Deku in that interview. The pro heroes must have counted on the villains keeping a close eye on the news to glean any information on the enemy. Judging from the footage she had seen of their massive fight a few days ago, the villains had also used the media as a way to attack.

It was a delicate process. Bakugou had had to gamble that Deku would stick to his promise of not hurting her, but also say just enough to bring him out of the darkness. He had to have believed that Uraraka could hold Deku at bay. She had, but only by a hair and she still didn't feel like she was out of the water.

The only problem was that Bakugou didn't know just how bad things were. Those pictures of the murdered villains had been gruesome, but it was different seeing it happen in person. He also couldn't know how fractured Deku's mind was. She'd been here for what she could only guess was three days and she wasn't even sure if she knew. The only one close to knowing the full extent was Todoroki and it had been difficult to get a straight answer out of him no matter how hard he'd tried.

"You can come back in, Kurogiri!" Deku called out, watching her as if to make sure that she didn't try to run away or move. She couldn't. The aura radiating from him had her pinned in place.

The warp gate villain stepped back into the room, like normal through the door. It was strange to see him walk around like that, his black and purple mist contained in a suit in the shape of a person. "Yes?"

"Assemble the others," Midoriya told him. "We're striking back today." He turned to face the other villain. "We've given them enough respite, maybe too much."

It was hard to tell, seeing as how Kurogiri was made of mist, but she thought she could hear the frown in his voice when he asked, "Are you certain that's a good idea?"

Midoriya threw a hand at the television, which now had a few talking heads arguing about what was going on, Bakugou's snarling face in the corner. "Did you watch the same thing I did? They're getting bold again. The last thing we need to do is allow them time to rally. It could make them more foolhardy, but you and I both know what heroes are capable of when they're backed into a corner."

Yes, they all knew that. Just when there seemed like there was no hope, when everything was done, that was when a true hero could shine in the dark. Deku would understand full well that they were standing on the precipice where Bakugou would be at his strongest, most dangerous, and best. He knew this better than most, considering that he had seen what All Might had done and sacrificed in order to bring back the light.

How many times had Deku himself broken his body to save the day? How many times had he fallen apart and pieced himself back together again to keep fighting? It was so small compared to his other feats as a hero, but their first Sports Festival came to mind when he had fought against Todoroki. How he had broken his fingers to use his quirk before he could control it and then shattered them even further in his struggle. Deku knew what it was like to go beyond. He knew the heroes they were up against better than the villains who had spent years fighting them.

After all, he had been one of them once upon a time.

"Get the others, tell them to get ready," Deku demanded. "Tell Compress to take Ochako back to the cells. Get Dabi while he's at it. He won't want to miss out." He turned back to look at the television. "They want a war? I'll bring them one."

His expression settled into one that Uraraka had learned to recognize from their years at UA, a sign that said there would be no backing down or holding back. She had admired it back then, thinking that she wanted to be as strong as him. He had always been an inspiration.

Kurogiri held up his misty hands. "I'm not disagreeing with you. Their words should be countered and swiftly at that. I'm only suggesting that you take a step back and think before you act." Deku narrowed his eyes, looking as if he might lash out at Kurogi like he had the other villains, but he didn't say anything. Kurogiri was good at this and it was clear that Deku held some sort of trust towards him. "I heard what Eraserhead and Ground Zero said, but it also sounded like they were directly trying to provoke you."

"I'm not going to allow Kacchan to talk about us like that!" Deku exclaimed. "We're weak? Afraid? We've dealt them multiple devastating blows and he has the gall to say such things?" He scoffed irritably and folded his arms across his chest. "That's just like Kacchan. His ego is always bigger than him. He has to be taken out."

"You see? It worked. They're trying to draw you out. They're bringing you to them."

Deku glared. "You think they can take me out? You think you all will just fall apart without me?"

"I think we need to be aware that anything is possible," Kurogiri countered. It was surprising. The only one she'd seen talk to Deku like this so far was Kyōmu, but even he had been deferential at points, perhaps to ensure that Deku would come to him willingly. With Kurogiri, it was almost like...a father talking to his son. "You're smarter than this. You're letting him get to you. Stop, take a step back, and _think_."

Even though Deku didn't like it, he did as he was told. He relaxed his shoulders, closed his eyes, and took a breath. She could see his mind working through the scenarios, considering what both Bakugou and Aizawa had said, and what could happen if he did meet their challenge.

Bakugou wanted Deku to come out to fight, so it made sense to do the complete opposite. It would frustrate them, leave them floundering and at a loss, and also possibly make them look foolish in the eyes of the public. If they could do something else under the heroes' noses instead of directly fighting them, it could prevent the public from thinking that the League was weak or afraid. Remaining in the dark after such a public show had its advantages. It left people questioning and everyone's imagination could go south if they were left without answers.

Of course, if they were to meet Bakugou and the heroes head on and defeat them, it would be a decisive win and could possibly shatter the opposition, giving them an almost clear path to do whatever goals they had in mind. It would deal a devastating blow that would change the public's view of heroes forever. She didn't know how they would be able to come back from that one. Also, taking out some of the top heroes would weaken the opposition severely. Deku didn't just want Bakugou dead; he needed it if he was going to progress. If he truly believed that Bakugou was holding Uraraka back, he was done hesitating.

There was a chance that they could lose, if the heroes had figured out a plan that might work, but they didn't know the specifics of what was going on with Deku. To be honest, Uraraka didn't even know if they could be certain that Deku was under the control of a villain's quirk. Surely they had considered it and even believed it, unable to think that he could become a villain entirely of his own choice. She wondered if Shinsou had gotten involved. He was still in close contact with Aizawa, wasn't he?

So many things to consider and she knew that they were all rushing through Deku's mind.

"We meet Kacchan head on; we give them the advantage," Deku said, his eyes still closed. "We don't; we face looking weak and allowing them to gain momentum and strength." He slowly opened his eyes. The absolutely determined look had faded from his face, replaced by a disappointed frown. It made him look innocent, like he had wanted to do something fun outside but the rain had forced him to cancel his plans. "I don't like this."

"And the way around it?" Kurogiri prompted. That was where Deku excelled. Where some people saw dead ends and no way to win, Deku saw hidden opportunities, no matter how improbable they were. When others gave up, he dug deeper to find a way out. Uraraka hated that his mind was at the villain's mercy the most.

Deku sighed. "We bide our time and wait for the right opportunity to strike on our terms." No, he didn't like that at all, but it was better than falling into Bakugou's trap. Uraraka's heart sank, but she also couldn't help but feel relief as well. She didn't want Bakugou to fight Deku when he was out of control. The amount of destruction that he would be capable of was unimaginable. It would be like All Might's fight with All For One again, but worse. "We can't let them go completely unanswered for this though."

"Agreed," Kurogiri replied calmly. "I trust you to come up with a plan."

When Deku brought a hand to hold his chin thoughtfully, Uraraka felt as if the air had been taken out of her lungs. It was such a Deku action. She could see him do that from a distance and instinctively she would know that it was him. They all had their little habits and, much like his inability to properly tie a tie, this was one of his. "Something that leaves them questioning, something that will dig at them and leave a wound, something that will scare them."

Kurogiri placed a hand on Deku's shoulder. "That's more like you now."

He must have understood on some level that the consistent use of Kyōmu's quirk on Deku had caused him to fluctuate between stable and unstable. That had to be a side effect. It looked like he was getting better about it as time wore on and the state of his mind became normal. Everyone had filed out the room quickly after Kyōmu had snapped his fingers, but most had looked ready to leave before that. Still, as uneasy as they had been, there was a level of...comfort between them as well. When Deku wasn't mad or feeling confused, he was warm with them, familiar, and it was like they were with him.

"I still need you to do one thing for me," Deku admitted, sounding ashamed as he dropped his hand to anxiously pull at his short tie.

"Of course."

"Have someone escort Ochako back to the cells." When Deku refused to look at her when she started, she knew that there would be no changing his mind. The last time she'd gone there, she had almost been killed. After what he had done to that villain though, she doubted anyone would want to go near her. She could practically feel the barrier between her and the other villains. "Someone needs to replace Dabi as well. He gets antsy down there and might do something stupid. I think Mr. Compress would be the most ideal. He's at least more pleasant company."

Uraraka opened her mouth to protest, but then bit her lip. She half-expected him to walk back to her, take her hands in his, and reassure her that everything would be fine (at least, his idea of "fine"), but he did none of that. He didn't even look at her as Kurogiri left to fetch Compress. Neither one of them spoke, leaving Uraraka to hug herself and drop her gaze to the ground as the television continued to play in the background. The only word she could use to describe Deku in this moment was worn thin, as if this whole thing had wrung him dry. Any comfort she tried to give him now would ring false and they both knew it.

It left her feeling very sad.

At least he hadn't gone off the handle. She had been certain that he would. She hadn't thought that anyone would be able to talk him down from storming out of here and using his bare hands to kill Bakugou. He still wanted to, but he had set his personal desires aside for the League's goals. It was what he'd done during his time at UA and when he was a hero. Even if it hurt, he would put what he wanted on the backburner to save the world. It had put pressure and caused strain on their relationship at times, but she'd never begrudged him for it. He had inherited responsibilities long before they had gotten together and even before he'd met her.

When Kurogiri returned to the room with Compress, Deku straightened up and put on a bright face, hiding his exhaustion behind the mask. "Careful with her, mind you? I wrapped her ankle, but she still has to take it slow."

"Would you prefer me to use my quirk to transfer her there?" Compress asked, his eyes flickering to her and then back to Deku.

Before Deku could answer for her, Uraraka stepped forward. "I want to walk on my own."

Compress looked at Deku for confirmation again and he nodded his head, turning slightly so that she was out of his vision again. It stung. Compress held out an arm, which she ignored as she headed in the direction that she and Deku had come from. She stopped when she was at the door and turned back to face Deku, but he was looking at the ground.

"I need some time alone to consider things," Deku told her without looking up. It wasn't that his voice was devoid of emotion anymore; rather it sounded like he was doing his best to keep it out. "You'll have Shouto at least." His fingers twitched and he shoved them into his pockets. "I'm sure you'd rather be with him right now anyways."

There was nothing Uraraka could say to that and so, after a gentle nudge from Compress, she turned around and left, her heart beating slowly and sad. She truly had wounded him and it was one she didn't know how to repair.

"That boy loves you something terrible, you know," Compress said in the silence. "Sometimes I think it hurts him more than helps."

Uraraka swallowed a lump in her throat. She did know that, but she didn't know how she couldn't cause him pain. The one thing that had pulled them together was now tearing them apart.

"I was in love once, back in my youth," Compress continued wistfully.

"What happened?" Uraraka asked in a hollow voice.

"She died."

His words did not make Uraraka feel any better, but she doubted he had expected them to. There was more she could have asked, but they only made her wonder more. What would happen if she died? What would Deku do then? If it was a result of the villains, would he turn his back on them or would he give in completely? She didn't know and she didn't want to find out. There had to be a way to save him. She had to think. Like Deku, she had to find the path to victory.


	21. Chapter 21

Notes: Oh, Kacchan, how I missed writing you so. It's been a hot minute! Eight chapters later and our boy has returned. I can't believe it's been that long. Hopefully this is a good one. It starts out quietly, but that's only because the next two chapters are going to be intense - or at least I hope so. I did write half of this with a headache, so if it seems like I lost some steam, that's because my head was pounding.

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 _"I think all of us have a hero and villain in us."_  
 **\- Anson Mount**

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Almost a full day had passed since the mini press conference outside of UA and not a word from the other side had been heard. Bakugou was at his wit's end. He had been certain that it would provoke Deku into flying off the handle and trying to attack him, but it appeared as if he was holding back. Either that or someone else was holding him back. They couldn't be for certain. After all, someone had kept him from showing his face to Uraraka for eleven months. Maybe they'd convinced him to bide his time now.

A few of the heroes wondered if perhaps Deku might not have seen it, but that was impossible. The interview had been broadcasted on multiple media outlets and was posted online everywhere. News pundits were talking about it and analyzing every word with excruciating detail. Already his professional relationship with Uravity was being brought up, along with questions about his personal relationship with Uraraka. He knew that Deku was soaking it all in and getting worked up about it.

He hadn't said much, just enough to taunt him, but of course Bakugou had been worried about how his words might affect Deku's treatment of and behavior towards Uraraka. No one had a clue about what was going on: if she and Todoroki were being held in separate places or together, if one or both of them was being subjected to whatever Deku had had done to him, if they were even alive.

But no, Bakugou knew that they were alive. Deku hadn't just spared them. He hadn't wanted Todoroki to die and he had been adamant about wanting to protect Uraraka. He loved her. He wouldn't hurt her. He'd keep her safe - or as safe as one could keep a hero surrounded by villains. Where everyone else questioned Deku and worried that he might hurt Uraraka, Bakugou didn't. It wasn't that he trusted Deku. He just...knew him. Bakugou knew the measure of Deku's love for Uraraka. He wouldn't hurt her no matter what.

He had to believe that. He refused to believe anything else. To think any differently meant that there was no saving Deku and he would not accept that.

Bakugou stood in the conference room at UA, glaring out the window with his arms folded across his chest, as a news channel went over the footage and the press conference for the hundredth time on a television behind him. "Where the hell are you, Deku?" he grumbled under his breath.

The fact that Deku hadn't shown his face was driving Bakugou mad. His only consolation was that, if someone was holding Deku back (and they had to be), then it was likely making Deku go crazy too. It was like they were two opposites ends of a magnet being drawn to one another until one of them was broken for good. Bakugou's hand and face were healed now, but he could still feel the cracks under his skin, like Deku had marked him permanently. One of them had to shatter for this to end. The difference was that he would try to help piece Deku back together again; he knew that he wouldn't be given such mercy if he was the one to break.

"You need to rest," a worn down voice said behind him.

Bakugou turned his head back to see All Might standing there. He had spoken to him, but his sunken eyes were also fixed on the horizon as the sun began to set. He'd looked ragged before all of this, a skeleton of the hero that had inspired Bakugou to become one himself, but now it appeared as if the wind might knock him over. He was a shell of his former self, made even more so by the recent events.

Guilt must have run deep within All Might's veins. He'd opened up to the other heroes about Deku's quirk so that they would know the extent of his strength and abilities. Almost everyone had been shocked. Talking about One for All had been extraordinarily difficult. It was a quirk that had not only been passed down through several generations but had been one of the most guarded secrets in history. The only reason Bakugou knew about it was because of Deku's inability to be anything but earnest and passionate in helping others grow, along with Todoroki's suspicions about there being a connection between Deku and All Might. Only a handful of people knew the truth.

If the villains knew as well...

There was a wonder why they simply hadn't compelled Deku to pass his quirk on or forced him to do it. After all, it didn't take much in the end to transfer One for All. Bakugou had a feeling that part of their plans had to do with Deku himself. What better way to cause mass hysteria in the public than to use a former hero? What better way to turn the public against heroes themselves? How could anyone trust them when Deku was out there breaking villains out of prison, killing people, and kidnapping his closest loved ones?

Sure, it would've been easier to pass the quirk onto someone who was already a villain, but it would've have had nearly the same effect. It wouldn't have stricken fear, panic, and grief nearly as well into the masses. Seeing Deku like this was certainly breaking Bakugou down piece by piece. If it was affecting him this much, he didn't want to know how the others were handling it.

Bakugou turned his gaze back out the window, although All Might's reflection remained in the corner of his eyes. "I don't have time for that."

"How long has it been since you've had a proper night's sleep?" All Might asked.

 _The night I slept on Uraraka's couch,_ Bakugou thought immediately.

"It doesn't matter," was what he said out loud.

Things had felt so simple back then. Complicated, as usual when it came to navigating the emotions that came from the loss of Deku, but he had been able to understand it then. It wasn't just Uraraka that was slowly beginning to move on. It had been Bakugou as well. He'd come to some realizations the days before Deku's birthday that he was holding himself back. As much as he'd thrown himself into his work, he'd grown restless and temperamental, like he had been in the days of his youth.

But he couldn't shake the feeling that he'd failed so miserably that he would never be able to climb to the top. The spot that he'd sought after so hard… The number one hero position that he'd craved that Deku had taken from him… It could've been his. The hole needed to be filled after Deku's death.

Bakugou couldn't do it though. He sabotaged himself time and time again. He was supposed to open up his own pro hero agency this past year, but kept putting it off. All the reasons for it had been nothing but excuses to cover up his own shame for not being able to save Deku. How could he possibly become the number one hero when he hadn't even been able to save one person? When he'd been forced to stand on the sidelines as Deku sacrificed himself to save thousands of people and Uraraka had come mere seconds from death to save him?

Deku had saved so many people and then Uraraka and all Bakugou had been able to do in the end was drag her back to safety and keep her from throwing herself into the cold, black waters after him.

It was important. He knew that Uraraka's life was important. Deku could have possibly saved himself, but he had chosen to use his last bit of strength, his last moment as a hero, to save Uraraka instead.

That was why Bakugou had launched himself out there in the storm to pull her back to safety, even though his arms had screamed at him, even though he hadn't been able to use his quirk for two days without causing himself terrible pain from severely overexerting his quirk. It was why, when he had heard how Uraraka was shutting the world out, he trudged up to her apartment to drag her back out. The job wasn't done yet. There was still saving to be done, although Bakugou hadn't known what this kind would entail. All he'd known was that Deku had saved her so that she could continue to live and he owed it to the both of them to see it through.

The fact that, just maybe, he'd needed saving too in that respect… To think that she had saved him...

He had thought that they were out of the water. He'd thought they could both finally breathe. He had no idea what that might give them or where it would bring them, but he had been relieved. Making her breakfast that morning to help with her hangover, he'd found himself grinning almost the entire time. He'd forgotten that the world could be so light and easy.

All Might laid a hand on Bakugou's shoulder. "This does not rest solely on you."

He clenched his fists and said nothing. He knew that. It didn't make things any easier. But Bakugou couldn't fight the feeling that he was responsible. If he hadn't hesitated in throwing Uraraka in Deku's direction, if he hadn't overexerted himself in the fight, if he'd jumped to save Deku instead of letting his own weakness get the best of him - they wouldn't be in this position now. He should have taken care of Deku long before allowing Uraraka to sacrifice herself to save him.

Gods, he was so tired of being the one saved while everyone else around him tore themselves to the bone.

"Where is he?" Bakugou repeated, louder this time. "He should've shown his face by now. What are they hiding?"

"Perhaps he recognized what the interview was for," All Might said. "We can't anticipate their moves when we don't know their exact goals."

"But he can anticipate ours?" Bakugou countered, glaring at the older man's reflection.

All Might sighed and pulled his hand from Bakugou's shoulder. "It's not difficult to figure out what heroes want." He was right, of course. A villain's desires were more complex, especially when Deku was involved. "You want to save Uraraka and Todoroki, don't you?"

 _I want to save_ him _._

Bakugou turned around to face his former teacher. "The chances of Todoroki or Uraraka suffering the same fate as Deku is high and we all know it. If we have to face either of them as well, what are we going to do then?" The mere thought made him sick to his stomach. He thought of Deku's eyes, how dead they had looked, how wrong they had been when the light finally returned. It was him, but not him. If he had to look into Uraraka's eyes and saw the same thing, he didn't know what he'd do. He was afraid that he'd truly break. "We have to save them or we risk losing this whole thing."

"Are you afraid of failing to save them or being forced to face them and your failures?" All Might asked.

"I'm not afraid of anything," Bakugou huffed irritably. "There isn't the time."

"There is always time to reflect on your own fears," All Might told him. "That's a part of being a hero. There is no such thing as being entirely fearless. We must acknowledge them and use that to our advantage."

It sounded just like what Bakugou would've expected to hear from All Might and he let out a "tch" and ground his teeth in response. Gods knew the former Symbol of Peace understood this better than anyone. One for All falling into the hands of the villains was the most dangerous outcome. This was his worst fear imagined. Not only was his old quirk being used by a villain, but the villain was his protege.

So what was Bakugou's fear?

Failing? Losing? Those had long been the root of his insecurities. He couldn't avoid them any longer. But he knew that they were more focused now. What if he failed Deku? If he failed All Might? Uraraka? Todoroki? Deku's mom? He'd changed clothes twice since then, but he still felt stained by Inko Midoriya's tears. What if he lost more than just the battle? What would he do if Todoroki was turned? How could he handle anything happening to Uraraka?

There were so many things to be afraid of that it made him feel like he might drown. It was all he could do to ignore them so he could think straight.

"I can't fail them," Bakugou said in a strained voice, his throat constricting. "Not again." He unfolded his arms and clenched his fists at his side as he bowed his head. "If I do, then how can I consider myself a hero?"

All Might sighed. "Heroes fail all the time. It's how they respond to that failure that makes them a hero."

"That's good and all," Bakugou replied, turning to face All Might, "except if we fail now, chances are a lot of people are going to die - Uraraka and Todoroki being high on that list." He hardened his expression. "I can't let that happen. I won't."

Not wanting to deal with any more lessons on being a hero, seeing as how he wasn't All Might's student any longer, Bakugou walked away and out of the room. Old habits died hard, he supposed. All Might would always see them as the students he'd helped mold into heroes. They had been his first class and, though he never said it, his most important one as well. They'd gone through so much together and now they were going through this. He wasn't good at this warm comforting thing though. That hadn't been his approach with Uraraka.

Not being allowed to leave anywhere on his own was frustrating. Bakugou knew that he could technically slip out on his own if he really wanted to, but causing undue stress to everyone else involved wasn't worth it. For now, they needed to keep a close eye on one another until this was ended. He hated the whole buddy system thing, but close and constant contact meant that they would know quickly if Deku or any of the other villains were to pop up. If they were going to win, the first offense had to be a good defense.

It still sucked.

His first thought had been to find Kirishima. He'd been at UA for a full day and he wanted to go home, even if it was just to shower and change. All Might would want him to sleep, but he didn't know if he could manage it. Kirishima would probably try to force it on him as well. However, after sending a text to him while walking though UA, he found out that Kirishima was an hour away on patrol duty. He came to a halt, groaning and rubbing his stubbled face in frustration.

The sound of squeaking sneakers to his right pulled at his attention and Bakugou looked down a hallway just in time to see Kota freeze and stare back at him at being seen. The kid had been wandering around UA like some sort of ghost since finding out the truth about Deku, stuck in some sort of daze, refusing to talk to anyone, not even his aunt. At least he wasn't wearing his pro hero Deku hat anymore, although his sneakers were still bright red. Kota glared at him though, reminding him of his own middle school days, and Bakugou glared back half-heartedly until the kid stomped away.

"Bakugou?"

When he looked straight ahead, Bakugou's worst fears were confirmed when he found himself face-to-face with Iida. Dealing with Asui and her straightforward emotional nitpicking had been one thing, but he didn't think he could handle Iida without snapping. There would be no stopping him if he saw even a hint of a crack in Bakugou's armor and quite frankly…

He wasn't certain if he had it in him right now.

"Is everything okay?" Iida asked.

Bakugou raised his eyes to give him a flat glower. "What do you think?"

"I think you're running yourself ragged and refusing to accept any help," Iida told him, "and if you're not careful, you're going to be useless to us."

All Bakugou could do was gawk at Iida in shock. He was so used to everyone treating him with kid gloves in case he exploded or got too upset and lashed out that Iida's words caught him off guard. This was only half of what he had been afraid of. Iida was intelligent enough to know what needed to be done, but he completely disregarded any sort of tact necessary to deal with Bakugou. It wasn't that he didn't care. He was just honest.

Finally, Bakugou scowled and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Whatever." To be honest, he really was too tired to fight on an emotional level. Now, if Deku were to show up, he'd be rearing to go. This waiting game was starting to pick away at him. Deku probably knew that as well.

"Did you need a ride home?" Iida asked.

"Are you going to attempt to pry my emotions out of me the entire time?" Bakugou questioned.

"Are you going to keep ignoring them?"

Bakugou really didn't like the way he was so easy to read by his former classmates, even by the ones that he hadn't gotten along with. Still, he knew that when the time came to it, he and Iida could work well together to take an enemy down. He'd learned over the years at UA that he didn't have to like someone in order to work with them, but he didn't want to hang out them either.

Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Bakugou begrudgingly nodded his head and they started for the parking lot. Damn buddy system. He didn't want to hunt around for another ride, so he'd deal with Iida and get it over with as fast as possible. Iida was one of Uraraka's closest friends. She trusted him. She was probably concerned about him despite being held captive. The least Bakugou could do was not be a complete ass.

However, the second he sat in Iida's car and the doors slammed shut, Bakugou regretted the decision immediately. It was too small of a space to be stuck with Iida where he couldn't escape once they were moving. Iida had no intentions of letting him hide like everyone else did. Even Aizawa didn't try forcing his thoughts out of him, as if he knew that Bakugou needed the time to figure them out himself before he said anything. Except he didn't want to say anything. He didn't want to wait. He wanted to do something.

"I know this is very personal to you," Iida said as he pulled onto the road, "but it's not just affecting you." Bakugou didn't respond, hoping that he'd get the picture. He didn't. "I know that Uraraka is...important to you, but she is to me as well, along with Tsu, and Kirishima is worried about you." Of course he was. He'd probably been texting the others to make sure he wasn't off trying to hunt Deku down himself while he was gone. "We're all scared for Uraraka and Todoroki and want to bring them back home."

"I know that," Bakugou replied gruffly, staring out the window.

"Maybe you do," Iida continued, "but you're acting as if this entire thing rests of your shoulders alone and you're blocking us all out."

Bakugou snorted. "Deku's grudge seems pretty fucking focused on me." He flexed his left hand.

"It doesn't just hurt you though," Iida pointed out. "You weren't the only one that promised to keep Uraraka safe because it's what the Midoriya we remembered would've wanted." His grip on the steering wheel tightened, but his driving didn't become any more reckless. It was why Bakugou had allowed Iida to drive him home. He had known that his own driving would've concerned him even more. "I failed Uraraka and Todoroki. I wasn't around when they were taken. By the time I got Jirou to safety and returned, it was over and everything was destroyed."

"You did your job." Bakugou swallowed the anger and disappointment. "You saved the people you could and were able to arrest the villains left behind."

"You don't think I don't believe I could've done more?" Iida questioned him, looking over at him as the car sat still at a red light. "I wasn't even there when Midoriya…" He dropped his gaze. "Do you know what the last thing I said to him was?"

"No." Not that Bakugou cared, but this conversation wasn't going to stop any time soon.

Iida turned back to look ahead and drive when the light turned green. "I don't either. The last time I saw him was a month before he died on his birthday. A whole month in between and all we did was text. A few days before he died, I deleted all my texts to save some space on my phone. I considered him one of my closest friends and I didn't even take the time to see him more."

"We're pro heroes," Bakugou told him, feeling like his world was turning on its end. Was he actually trying to say something that would comfort Iida? Gods, maybe he had spent too much time with Uraraka. It was either that or Kirishima had finally rubbed off on him. "We don't have the same time as everyone else."

"I could've tried more," Iida said, the pain far too evident in his voice for Bakugou's comfort. "I could've reached out to him more often. Maybe then, I'd be able to do more now."

"Trust me; you don't want his focus."

They spent the next few minutes in silence as Iida drove and Bakugou watched the scenery pass them by. He'd driven this roads a hundred times. If he made a left here, he'd go to the pro hero agency that he should've left months ago. If he made a right up the road, he'd go to Uraraka's. He almost told Iida to turn, but he stayed silent. They'd been staking out her place in case Deku got any ideas about recreating their relationship in a more realistic setting. It had remained dark and silent.

"You're not in this alone, Bakugou," Iida told him as his apartment complex came into view. How long had it been since he had confronted Deku on the roof? "I want to save them just as much as you do, whether you believe it or not - we all do - so let us help you." He parked the car and turned to face him again. "You can't defeat him on your own."

Bakugou glowered at him sideways, but didn't snap. "You think I'm too weak?"

"I think we need to work as a team in order to end this," Iida said gently. It was much too gentle and it made Bakugou pull away from him further in the car. For his part, Iida didn't seem bothered by his reaction. He must have expected it. "Midoriya is stronger than us when we're alone, but together, maybe we can save him."

Closing his eyes, Bakugou took a breath and tried to steady himself. It was hard not to storm "You really we can save him?"

"I have to hope that we can," Iida said, half to himself. "Because if we can't…"

Then what kind of heroes were they? It was the same fear that Bakugou had voiced to All Might an hour ago. Luckily, for once, the two of them were on the same page and he didn't have to say it out loud for Iida to know that he understood what he hadn't said.

Iida leaned back in his seat. "Did you want to stay here or…?"

"No, just shower and change."

"You know," Iida said with a frown, "you really should get some rest." Bakugou rolled his eyes as he got out of the car. He'd known this was coming. "You'll be weaker in the long run if you keep burning the candle at both ends."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Bakugou slammed the door shut and then paused, which Iida took as a sign to roll down his window. "Come back in like four hours."

It wasn't much, but it was just enough to get Iida off his back. No doubt he would report to Kirishima and anyone else who was keeping tabs on him (like All Might and Aizawa). Bakugou had to take what he could get. They were working this way because it was safer and smarter. He couldn't afford to be a lone wolf in this. As much as he hated it, Iida was right. He couldn't keep fighting and going after Deku like it was all up to him. It hadn't worked. Hadn't that been one of his first lessons learned alongside Deku when they'd been in learning to become heroes?

Once he was in his apartment, Bakugou took to washing away the day. He took a steaming hot shower until the water went cold, changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top, and then rummaged around his kitchen for something to eat. He'd needed to go grocery shopping before this whole mess started and now it was just pathetic. The idea of doing something as simple and inane as grocery shop though made him sick. He couldn't do something like that while knowing that Uraraka and Todoroki were locked up somewhere.

After eating enough to settle his stomach, he shuffled into his bedroom and collapsed on his bed without bothering to pull down the blanket. When he picked up his phone from the charger, he found a text from Kirishima telling him to get some shut eye and a notification from his social media account. Without thinking, he clicked on it and found a picture from their summer camp before their third year popped up on his screen. It was one of him, Uraraka, Kirishima, Mina, and Asui. The latter three were laughing, arms thrown around each other, while Asui held one of Uraraka's hands. Bakugou stood behind Uraraka with a smirk on his face, squishing her pink cheeks together while she had her head tilted back so she could glare up at him, though she was smiling.

Bakugou dropped his phone screen first on the bed and wrapped his arms around a pillow, burying his face in it. Shit like that was the last thing he wanted to see right now. Feeling worked up all over again, he didn't think that he'd ever be able to get to sleep, but his body had other ideas and, before he knew it, he was out.

* * *

"Wake up, Kacchan," a voice sings in his ear. "Did you miss me?"

Bakugou snaps his eyes open, but finds himself pushed down into his bed by multiple people. He bucks as hard as he can when he feels someone sit on top of his back, their knees pressed onto the mattress at his sides, pinning him in place. Before he can fire off a multitude of explosions, his hands and the whole front of his body go ice cold, effectively riding his palms of sweat. He twists his head to the right, only to connect eyes with a pair of mismatched ones, and his breath hitches in his chest.

"I can freeze your hand if you like," Todoroki offers in his typical mild tone. "It won't hurt as much that way."

"What the hell are you doing?" Bakugou demands, his breath turning into fog. His bed is so cold.

"What's it look like he's doing?" the person straddling him asks in a cheerful voice. Bakugou doesn't have to look up to know that it's Deku. He would recognize that voice anywhere. It sends a chill down his spine or maybe it's the ice that Todoroki has created. "He's helping me out, like any best friend would."

Bakugou swallows. "No, no, he wouldn't break that easily. He wouldn't turn so quickly."

Deku laughs. "It's not that hard to turn people against you, Kacchan. You're not exactly friendly." Something glints out of the corner of Bakugou's eye. His heart starts to race again. The knife in Deku's hand glimmers whenever it catches the glow of the moonlight coming in through his open window. "You didn't think I'd stay in hiding, did you? C'mon, you should've known that I'd come for you the second you let your guard down." He grins in the dark and leans down to get close to Bakugou's ear again. "Shall we finish what we started? I even brought an audience."

Using the knife, Deku points and Bakugou twists his head in the other direction to follow, landing on Uraraka, bound and gagged in a chair. There are tears streaming down her face as she jerks on the ropes and he can hear her muffled cries. Immediately, he begins to fight, thrashing and shoving, but Deku holds him down and the blanket is so cold that the ice causes his skin to stick and burn when he tries to pull away.

"She misses you and I just couldn't have that," Deku informs him, sitting upright and digging his fingers into Bakugou's hair to jerk on it hard. "I've gotta take you out of the equation, Kacchan. I have to show her that I'm serious about how much I want to be with her. You understand that, right?" He levels the knife against Bakugou's wrist. Uraraka's eyes are wide with terror as she fights against her bonds. Bakugou gnashes his teeth together so hard that it feels like his molars might break. "Let's see how you handle being quirkless."

When the knife starts digging into his skin, a buzzing sound erupts in Bakugou's ears and he's only able to bite back a scream for a few seconds before one is ripped out of him.

* * *

Bakugou bolted upright so fast in his bed that he flung his cell onto the ground. In between his heavy breathing, he could hear his phone vibrating on the floor. After wiping the sweat off his forehead, he leaned over the side of the bed to pick up his phone, only for it to stop vibrating the second he did. He must've missed the call then.

However, he never got the chance to see who is was when a piercing shriek echoed through his head, **"GET TO UA NOW!"**

Slamming a hand to the side of his head, Bakugou dropped back onto his bed and yelled out, "Fuck!" It had been a long time since he'd experienced Mandalay's telepathy quirk, but either she'd gotten stronger or that nightmare he'd had while sleeping restlessly had really done a number on him. He hadn't known that she could reach this far, but maybe it had something to do with the desperation in her voice. It sounded different from when he'd heard it during the attack on the summer training camp all those years ago.

He didn't need to be told twice though and he shot Iida a text before diving into getting changed into his hero costume. With a warning call like that, he knew better than to put on his civilian clothes. By the time he was out the door, Iida was pulling into the parking lot, driving a lot like he used his quirk.

As soon as he got in the car and Iida gunned it, Bakugou demanded, "Do you know what's going on?"

Iida shook his head. "I just heard the message and knew to come here first."

That wasn't comforting. It meant that she'd broadcasted it to everyone involved that she could reach. Everyone else would have to be contacted via phone. Who knew how many others had received her immediate call for back-up? Was U.A. being attacked? No, she would've said something about it. Had there been an important update on Deku or the League? Had they shown their faces finally? Was it something about Uraraka or Todoroki?

 **"** **Bakugou,"** Mandalay's voice rang out again in his head. He glanced over at Iida, who was tersely driving in silence. He hadn't heard. This was just for him. **"Something went wrong. Something went really wrong."** It was frustrating not to be able to talk back, so he stared out the window as the streetlamps flashed over them, trying not to show any reactions to the panicked hero's voice in his head. **"I don't know where he is. I know he can hear me, but he's not responding. You have to save him."**

Her words caused Bakugou's stomach to churn and he gripped the handle to open the door tightly. He had a feeling that he knew what she was talking about, a flash of something from earlier popping into his head, but he had to hope that it was something else. If it was what he thought it was, things were about to get really ugly on both ends and he didn't know what to do.

 **"** **You have to save Kota."**

And Bakugou's heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. _Fuck._

Once they were at UA, Bakugou and Iida hopped out of the car, immediately joined by Aizawa and Mandalay, the latter of whom looked even more frazzled than she had sounded in his mind. "What's the status?" Bakugou demanded as they rushed inside to meet up with everyone else gathered.

Mandalay answered, her words slipping out of her like she was falling down a muddy slope. "He was out of it all day - you saw him earlier - and he wouldn't open up to anyone. He couldn't even eat lunch or dinner. When he said he was going to bed early, I didn't think anything of it. He looked so worn down and lost. I didn't know what to say so I let him go without a fight." She stopped when they were outside the conference room door and held out a crumpled piece of paper that she'd clearly been clutching onto for dear life. "But when I went to check on him, he wasn't there and this was lying on the bed."

Bakugou took the paper from her and looked down to examine it. Torn from a notebook, there were two precise sentences written on it in a kid's scrawl so forceful that it looked like he might've broken his pencil writing it: _I have to try to save him like he saved me. I can't let him be a villain._

"Damnit, kid," Bakugou growled. He should've known Kota would do something like this. The kid idolized Deku more than anything and, to be honest, for good reason. It was only because of Deku that Kota was alive and only because of Ddeku that Kota had begun to believe in heroes and use his quirk again. From what Mandalay had said earlier today, he'd gotten pretty damn strong with it too, considering that he'd ignored his quirk for a while.

But the idea that he could do anything to stop Deku or shake him out of whatever hold the villains hold on him was insane and impossible. It sounded just like something they would've done when they'd been at UA.

"What can we do?" Mandalay asked.

"I can start searching for him," Iida said. "How long since he said he was laying down?"

"He can't have more than three hours on us," Mandalay told him.

Bakugou waved the paper in his hand. "It's not like he can just walk around the city in hopes of bumping into Deku. He must have a destination in mind." He looked back up to Mandalay. "You said that you were monitoring him, right? In case Deku tried to contact him?"

Mandalay nodded and pulled out her phone. "Yes, but I didn't see anything suspicious." She pulled up the app that linked to Kota's emails and texts. "I know it's a complete invasion of privacy, but I told him in advance and I've never done this before. All I could think of was how to protect him and I…" Aizawa put a hand on her shoulder as Bakugou took the phone from her.

She was right. Nothing looked suspicious. This was all regular stuff from a preteen's phone.

And then Bakugou noticed something curious. It appeared as if Kota had responded a few times to junk mail, but there was nothing in his sent box connected to that mail in particular. He clicked on the junk mail. Nothing seemed off at first, just some dumb email about winning a prize from a hero magazine and where it could be picked up if the winner was interested. That was when Bakugou recognized the address.

"This is it," Bakugou said, pointing it out to them. "This is how he slipped past you."

"A contest?" Mandalay asked, taking her phone back.

"One that Kota signed up for a few hours after that press conference," Bakugou explained. He groaned and shook his head. "I should've fucking seen it. Deku was such a nerd about secret codes when we were kids. We did provoke them, but they struck right under our noses. Shit!"

"Do you know where he's going?" Aizawa asked.

Bakugou clenched his jaw. "Get everyone ready. We're going to the park." Their old childhood park by their primary school to be exact. From what he recalled, there was a lot of construction there now surrounding it as the neighborhood began to develop more. Of course Deku would bring Kota there. It made some sort of sick sense.

He would be the one to finish what they started. There was no question in Bakugou's mind about it.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes:** I wrote this in between combating a very clingy one year-old. What can I say? I've got a mama's girl. However, that also means if she sees me, I better damn well be holding her or I'm a human jungle gym. The amount of times she tried playing with my laptop and messed with the document is unreal. But I love her to bits. OKAY SO, I know this isn't the chapter that everyone was expecting, but it's been on my mind for a while. The next chapter is all action so I needed one more bit of an emotional punch to the gut before we go on the ride of a lifetime.

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" _There weren't any villains though. The world was just complicated in various ways, and there weren't any obvious villains to be found. It was excruciating."_  
― **Tatsuhiko Takimoto**

* * *

When the door to the cells opened and Mr. Compress guided Uraraka back inside, Todoroki stood up, his face unreadable but his eyes flashing with concern. It had only been a few hours since she'd last been in here, but he already looked stronger and more energized. He must have been surprised to see her considering what had occurred in here not too long ago. Whatever the reason, it couldn't be good and she could tell that he was running through every scenario.

All of them led to the possibility of Deku losing trust in her.

"Back again so soon?" Dabi drawled from his seat in the corner. He had the magazine that Ikeda had been leafing through in one hand, lounging as if this was the most comfortable place in the world. Uraraka's eyes flickered from him to Todoroki. He didn't seem to be hurt any more than he already was, just the cut on his arm and the bruises under his dirty and sweaty costume that he still hadn't been able to change out of. She had been worried that Dabi might do something, but it appeared as if he'd let Todoroki be.

"There's trouble afoot, to say the least," Mr. Compress responded. "Midoriya requested that I replace you."

"Does he not trust me to be on my best behavior?" Dabi asked.

Mr. Compress tsked. "Since when have you ever been on that?" He shook his head. "You're needed out there. The other side has made their move. It's time to figure out our next one."

Dabi pulled himself to his feet and stretched his arms and back. "Oh, good, it's been days." He swept his gaze from Todoroki to Uraraka, both of whom stood their ground. "I was beginning to wonder if they'd given up on their friends. And they say we're the cruel ones."

"Tread lightly," Mr. Compress warned him as Dabi started for the door. "Midoriya is fired up."

The grin that slid onto Dabi's face pulled on his staples. "Even better."

As he stepped out of the room, Mr. Compress guided her back into the cell she'd been in earlier. The mess from Deku's kill had been cleaned up, though there were some stains that couldn't be taken out without even more extensive cleaning. He sat down in the chair that Dabi had been occupying, although he didn't pick up the magazine, pulling a small book from one of his pockets. So no privacy then. It meant that they were safer, but Uraraka would've liked some time alone to discuss what she had seen on the television. She didn't like any of the villains being privy to how she felt, scared that they would use it against her with Deku.

After suspiciously eyeing Mr. Compress, who was doing his best impression of eavesdropping, Todoroki turned to Uraraka. "What happened? Why are you back so soon?" He frowned. "Midoriya acted like he was never going to bring you back here again, but he didn't even escort you."

Uraraka bit her lip. "There was a press conference of sorts on the news - with Bakugou and Aizawa."

In another world where he hadn't been kidnapped and mentally tortured for days, Todoroki would've been able to hide how he felt instead of groaning as he did now. "Bakugou said enough to antagonize Midoriya, didn't he?"

"More than enough, I'd say," Uraraka replied, rubbing her right arm. "Deku...wasn't happy." She glanced at Compress, who did little more than turn a page, not reacting at all to her understatement. He'd been an entertainer before becoming a villain. He was good at hiding things. "Bakugou basically made a declaration of war, like he was looking to pick a fight."

"That sounds like something he'd do," Todoroki sighed, running his fingers through the ice side of his hair. He paused, fingers halfway through the tangled mess, and his eyes darted back to hers. "Did Midoriya-?"

"No," Uraraka cut in quickly, maybe too fast. Todoroki's mismatched eyes narrowed marginally. "I swear, he didn't." She brought her other hand up to grip her arm, so that she was hugging herself. "He was upset and angry, thinking that I had only asked him to take me with him for Bakugou's sake. We had an argument and he…" She closed her eyes, picturing the anger on his face but also the pain and fear in his eyes, both angry with Bakugou for supposedly taking her away from him and afraid that he'd lost her. Maybe he was afraid of being alone. "But he swore that he would never hurt me, no matter what."

Todoroki looked at her, completely unforgiving as he said, "I'm sure there were a lot of things he swore that he would never do that he's done now."

Uraraka flinched back, but it was the truth. How could she say that she was so different when Deku had done much worse things that hurt her? He'd killed people. Sure, they had been villains, but they had still been people. They had still probably had families, people that cared about them, someone that would miss them. Seeing him in person - where he could sweep her into his arms, toss grapes in the air to catch with his mouth, dance with her to their favorite song - unfortunately made it easy for her to forget that every awful thing she'd seen him do was something that he had already done.

Feeling the weight of her carefully balanced act falling on her shoulders, Uraraka slumped onto the cot while Todoroki kept standing, like he was watching over her. "He knows the truth now though." Todoroki nodded his head. "But I didn't just come to stop him from hurting Bakugou. I came here for him - to save him. All I can think about is how close I was to grabbing his hand and then the look on his face right before he went under the waves. I can't let him fall again. I can't."

"I know. I understand." Todoroki had been there too. She could still remember the way he was shivering violently in the rain, the right side his face covered in ice while fire sputtered at his fingertips and smoke rose around his left side. Unable to use his ice, he couldn't reach Deku falling to his death. It could only be Uraraka. And she'd failed. "But you're running the risk of going under with him. That's where he wants you."

"I'm not afraid of falling," Uraraka told him. She gave him a humorless smile. "Not when I can cancel out gravity."

Or she used to be able to do that. She spread her fingers over the pillow on the cot, touching it with all five pads on her fingertips, but nothing happened. It hurt not to be able to use her quirk. This must have terrified Deku, back when he'd been in Todoroki's shoes. He would have felt like he had before inheriting One for All, back when he had been quirkless...and a punching bag for Bakugou.

Uraraka fell forward and put her face in her hands. "How did we get here? Fighting for our lives because my dead boyfriend came back to life and is upset because his childhood bully and I…" She laughed mirthlessly, too tired to do anything else, but then tears began to leak from her eyes and she stopped. "Maybe I did betray him - or his memory or….something. I didn't mean to. I never would've done that on purpose. I loved him - I love him. You know that. Now he's going to kill Bakugou - he said that he had to do it for _us_ \- and I'm scared. I should've..."

"He was dead, Uraraka," Todoroki said in that flat tone of his that left no room for arguing. "Did you betray him by living your life? Should you have put it on hold indefinitely? Would that have made you more loyal to him? Would that have made him happier - less of a villain? Should you have waited on a person who wasn't coming back? Should you have just died?"

Slowly, she pulled her hands away from her face and dropped them in her lap, although she didn't look up. "I don't know what he expected of me. Maybe he did think I would hold out for him to return or that it would just take me longer to move on. I didn't-" Her throat constricted painfully and a few tears slipped out, dripping onto the floor. She hated showing this much emotion with Compress right there, but he didn't react in the slightest. Would he tell Deku what she and Todoroki had talked about? "I didn't want to move on. I told myself time and time again that he was it. Deku was the only one for me. How could anyone compete with him? How could anyone compare with what we had? I was so happy with him. I didn't want anyone else…"

"Eleven months had passed. That's more than enough time. We were scared that you'd do all of those things, even Bakugou. Midoriya has no right to be angry or upset when Bakugou didn't do anything more than Iida, Asui, or I did." Todoroki frowned and shook his head. "Would he have reacted the same way if it had been me instead of Bakugou? Would he be so hellbent on killing me instead of turning me to the villains' side?"

"I was just…" Uraraka sat up and took a deep breath. "I was just trying to live a life where I wouldn't be miserable."

"And you did a lot," Todoroki told her firmly. "You shot up an unprecedented amount in the hero ranks. You saved so many people on rescue missions around the world. You took down villains. You were there for all of us when we needed you, never once hesitating to give a helping hand to lift us up even when you were down."

Uraraka flopped down on the cot, staring up at the ceiling. "Try telling Deku that."

"Love makes you do crazy things," Mr. Compress offered from his position, his eyes still focused on his book. Both Todoroki and Uraraka glared at him. They had known that he was listening in on them, but they still didn't like him jumping into their conversation. "It's blinding and all-consuming."

"Deku wasn't like that before," Uraraka said scathingly as she sat up. "He was kind and understanding."

Compress flicked the book so that it rested against his chest. "He still is. That's the heart of him, isn't it? Kyōmu's quirk could never erase that. He's...got a good heart."

"You all twisted his mind," Uraraka snapped.

A chuckle poured like liquid out from behind Compress' mask. "The mind is a terribly fragile thing and easy to break, considering how important it is." He tilted his head. "Isn't that right, Shouto?"

It was his hero name. He'd never changed his desire to simply use his first name, like it was a slap in the face to the Todoroki name. So many other names had come up, but he had refused to budge. Still, it was his given name as well and hearing it come from a villain made her furious. On the other hand, Todoroki had frozen and then turned away in either shame or humiliation. She saw the way his adam's apple bobbed as he gulped and tried to put on a mask of indifference.

Uraraka gazed at him with worry - and a nagging feeling of fear. How much of this was him? How much of it was the residue of Kyōmu's quirk? No. She shook her head. This was him. She'd know if he was different. She would be able to tell, just as she had been with Deku.

Todoroki sat down on his cot and stared down at his hands. "Uraraka?"

"Yeah?" Her eyes were still on him.

"Do you remember our first Sports Festival?"

The question was so innocent that at first Uraraka didn't hesitate to respond, "Of course," but then she realized that the whole point of Kyōmu's quirk was that it affected memories. Could Todoroki not remember it? That had been such an important turning point in his path to becoming a hero. "Can you?"

"Yeah, I can still remember it, but…" Todoroki hung his head. "It's foggy. I know Kyōmu has started to play around with it and it's frustrating." He turned his head to look at her. "Did they really muzzle Bakugou?"

Uraraka's lips twisted into what could've been a smile but felt like a frown. "Yeah, on the podium." It had been partly because of that moment that the League of Villains had thought that Bakugou would make a good addition to their ranks and had kidnapped him. "He was furious about the way he won - because you wouldn't use your fire side against him. He felt like it was unfair and it wasn't a true win since you held back."

"I wouldn't use my fire side," Todoroki repeated, completely monotone.

"Yeah, like you did against Deku," Uraraka continued carefully, feeling like she was now walking on a fault line. She frowned in earnest now. "You remember that, don't you? During your match against Deku, you kept only using the ice half of your quirk, but then he called you out and you… You beat him by using both sides."

Todoroki closed his eyes and swallowed again. "Yeah…" His voice was hoarse. "Yeah, I remember that now."

" _It's your power too, isn't it?"_ Deku had screamed at him.

Had he not remembered it fully?

"Shouto?" Uraraka prompted.

"Can you…?" Todoroki clasped his hands together. "Can you just talk about it? The whole thing?"

Uraraka sat back, shaken by his quiet and pleading tone, but replied, "Okay," and did as she'd been asked. She told him everything - how he had stunned everyone at the beginning of the race, how Deku had overcome the obstacle of having the most points after beating him and Bakugou, how he won in the end despite almost using his fire quirk during the cavalry battle. She even talked about how she had faired: how crossing that canyon would be cake to her now that she could use her quirk on herself more, those stupid cheerleader uniforms that had him smiling in thought, and her fight with Bakugou that had inspired her.

It didn't matter if he remembered it already; she talked about it all. Every little detail that she could remember, even if it had nothing to do with either of them, she told him. It ate up hours of their time, her telling him something like it happened yesterday and him interjecting with his own thoughts. This was something Mr. Compress would never be able to understand. It was theirs alone.

"I didn't know half of this," Todoroki admitted by the end of her story. "I guess I wasn't paying attention."

"You had a lot going on," Uraraka said gently. He'd told her years later that their first Sports Festival had been the first time that he'd confronted his father in a while. Like many of their classmates, she had been curious about why he didn't use the fire half of his quirk the first part of their year together. It had taken time, but he had opened up to her while she and Deku had been dating. They'd gotten closer in those years. "I barely remember Kirishima's match. I was so worked up about having to fight Bakugou."

"So much happened that first year set the tone for our careers and lives," Todoroki murmured, halfway to himself. He sounded sad. Uraraka dropped her gaze. Kyōmu must have been fiddling around with it. Changing a few things here and there, making Todoroki think other things… Their first year had been a defining one. Many were, but not like theirs. Who knew how he would have come out had things been different?

When the door opened, Uraraka and Todoroki froze. She narrowed her eyes when she realized who it was: the man who had stuck them both with needles and injected them with something that canceled out their quirks. His eyes flickered anxiously from them to Mr. Compress, who had closed the book and set it on his knee. His back was hunkered over and he was fiddling with his hands as he said, "Kyōmu wants him now."

It was impossible to tell, but it sounded as if Mr. Compress was frowning when he replied, "But the injury-"

"It's been long enough," the man interrupted. "He says we haven't the time to delay progress."

"We don't." Taking a breath, Mr. Compress stood up and produced the keys to the cells seemingly out of nowhere, like some sort of magic trick. He walked to the front of Todoroki cell while Todoroki took a step back. "Your presence has been requested."

"The girl's too," the man added.

Mr. Compress turned to face him, somehow causing the man to shrink even without his eyes being visible. "Does Midoriya know about this?" When the man hesitated, Compress held up a hand. "If this comes back to haunt us, it's on you and Kyōmu. Midoriya is in a fragile state as it is." Somehow, Uraraka knew that his eyes were on her and she glowered at him. It wasn't her fault.

"He assured me that it was fine," the man replied. "You know he is with Midoriya."

"It's a thin wire," Compress said. "I hope he knows how to walk it, if he's going to do this again."

Before he opened the cell, a handful of other villains stepped into the room and Todoroki readied himself, getting into a fighting position and clenching his fists in his hands. It didn't matter how good he was in hand-to-hand combat though; as soon as the cell was opened, he was overwhelmed and dragged out.

"Stop it! Let him go!" Uraraka shouted as she bolted to her feet. She clung to the bars of her cell and watched helplessly as the man injected him in the neck again. Todoroki went limp quickly after that, sagging in the villains' grip, and she let go of the bars to cover her mouth to keep from whimpering. When they turned to her, she held up her hands, not wanting to go through the same thing. "Deku already gave me another dose earlier."

"I know," the man told her. "It would do little good to do it again."

"Except to make you more…" Compress turned to Todoroki, who was being hauled into a chair and strapped in so that he couldn't move. "Pliable."

Uraraka didn't want to be under the influence of anything. Not having her quirk was bad enough, but to be half out of it like Todoroki looked right now made her stomach turn. No, she had to have her full wits about her. "I won't fight. I promise." She didn't drop her hands. "I'll be compliant."

When Mr. Compress opened the door of her cell, Uraraka stepped out of it slowly. She made no moves to attack. Five against one wasn't good odds for her, especially when she couldn't reach her quirk. She stepped up so that she was next to Todoroki, although he wasn't all there. His head was bobbing up and down as he tried to fight whatever had been injected into his bloodstream and he was strapped in over his wrists and ankles. She touched his cheek and he stopped, raising his head up long enough to catch eyes with her and then dropping it again.

As soon as she felt a prod in her back, she started forward and followed the man out and down the hall until they reached the room where she had first met Kyōmu. The entire walk had been quiet and filled with tension. She could tell that no one wanted to be here, except for Mr. Compress, who remained unaffected. Uraraka looked around, waiting for Deku to appear, but he didn't. He really had wanted to be alone. Without warning, rough hands pulled on her and shoved her into a chair. She'd started to fight out of habit, but then metal braces slid over her wrists, locking her in place and directly facing Todoroki, who was coming to again.

Once he realized what was going on, Todoroki pulled against his restraints, hard enough to where Uraraka knew the metal would dig into his skin, and she straightened up. "Calm down!" she called out to him. Foggy as they were, his eyes latched onto hers. He blinked a few times, trying to regain his composure, but it was difficult with the drugs running through his veins. "I'm here. I'm with you. It's okay."

"No," Todoroki croaked, his voice little more than whimper, "no, no, no, you need to get out of here." He shook his head, slow at first but then it turned violent. "No, no! Get her out of here! Take her away!"

"Stop!" Uraraka shouted over him. "It's okay! I'm fine, I promise."

"No, you can't be here," Todoroki cried weakly. "You can't see me like this. I can't… You…"

He didn't want her to see what he was like under Kyōmu's quirk. She'd seen it once before. It had been horrific. She would never be able to forget that moment, how Deku had held her back, how much he had shook as he'd held her, and Todoroki's screams. Restrained as she was, she couldn't get to him now. It had to be worse alone and yet still he wanted her gone.

"I'd rather be with you than you suffer alone through this," Uraraka told him.

Todoroki hung his head, ashamed of himself, his whole body shaking. "Don't let me believe it. Whatever he does, don't let me believe it."

"I won't," Uraraka promised, although she had no idea what she was saying. It didn't matter. Her response seemed to soothe him, to the point where he didn't even react when Kyōmu stepped inside. She did though, jerking upright in her seat and glaring at him as he crossed the room. Their eyes were locked on each other's and a grin slowly appeared on his face. He had the upper hand, but she could tell that he was irritated with not being able to get his hands on her. If he did, Deku would be furious. He had to bide his time and he wasn't used to that.

"Good," Kyōmu said, "you're both here."

"Does Deku know?" Uraraka demanded.

Kyōmu smiled. "Of course, he thought it'd be a good idea. You've been far too bold."

"I don't believe it." Uraraka scowled and sank back in the chair.

"You don't have to," Kyōmu replied, tapping his head. "He just has to believe it."

Everything in Uraraka screamed to fight and yell, but she knew that there was nothing she could do right now. She watched with bated breath as Kyōmu carefully rolled up the sleeves of his blazer and walked to stand behind a now heavily breathing Todoroki. He was preparing himself to go under Kyōmu's quirk. It made her feel even worse, knowing that the only thing she could do was watch and call out to him. She wanted to touch him - hold his hands, his face, anything - but she could do was kick uselessly and jerk on her restraints.

Kyōmu rested his hands on Todoroki's shoulders and leaned down until he was level with his ears. "Are you ready to learn more about yourself?"

Todoroki took a breath and then went completely limp, his gaze and face entirely emotionless. "I don't need you to do that."

"That's what Izuku said," Kyōmu said as he stood up straight. When he dug his fingers into Todoroki's hair and connected his fingertips to his skull, Todoroki flinched, but he didn't change his facial expression. Uraraka couldn't look away from him, horror filling every inch of her. There was nothing she could do to stop this. "He learned well enough."

Closing his eyes, Todoroki swallowed down the terror that must've been lodged in his throat and then opened his eyes to look at her. She tried to look calm and never once looked away from him. He was trying so hard to be strong - to act like this wasn't tearing him apart - but she could see the fear in his eyes. " _You're not alone,"_ she mouthed, trying to convey some comfort to him. As much as he'd stressed that he didn't want her to be here, she could tell that he was grateful for her presence now.

It twisted her heart to know that Deku had gone through all of this alone.

As soon as Kyōmu activated his quirk, Todoroki's entire body tensed up. He back went ramrod straight, his jaw clenched so hard that his teeth must've hurt, and he was gripping the ends of the chair tight enough to look like he might break his fingers.

"Let's see," Kyōmu hummed thoughtfully to himself. His eyes were closed, but she could see movement behind his lids. Todoroki started to blink, but didn't look away from her yet. "What shall we get into today?" As Kyōmu dug deeper into his mind, Todoroki began to shake and he squeezed his eyes shut, like he was trying to lock down whatever memory was playing in his mind. "The Sports Festival again? Oh, those look more vivid today. Was it on your mind? How about the Provisional License Exam?"

Uraraka felt disgusted, She hated the way Kyōmu dug around in his head. It felt like a complete violation and it made her want to throw up. She pulled on her restraints again, but they didn't budge. Her ankles weren't tied down like Todoroki's, but the most she could do was kick her legs and stomp on the ground.

"I know," Kyōmu drawled. "How about hero training with your father? Such good bonding times."

Todoroki began to pant, his head pressed against the chair. "Get out of my head." It sounded like it was a struggle to force the words out. The effort to talk was almost too much.

"Get out?" Kyōmu smiled. "I'm just getting into the good stuff."

Whatever he did next with his quirk made Todoroki start convulsing. He was trying so hard not to scream or make any sort of noise, but he was biting down on his lip so hard that it started to bleed. He was going to bite right through it at this point.

"You're going to kill him!" Uraraka exclaimed, jerking in the chair so that the legs scratched the floor. Kyōmu ignored her as a deeply pained whimper began to pour out from Todoroki unbidden despite his best efforts. Tears leaked from underneath his eyelids and blood down his chin. "Shouto, listen to me! Focus on me! Whatever he's showing you, it's a lie! It's just his quirk! He's messing with you!"

Kyōmu opened one eye to peer at her. "I'm not lying to him about anything. That's the beauty with him. I don't have to change much of anything, just help him remember. He's blocked out so much."

Uraraka stared at him, unable to understand how someone could be so monstrous, but also terrified that he was right. She knew more than others about Todoroki's history, but she also knew that there were some things that he kept hidden even from himself. They all had their secrets. He glazed over his: how he got his scar, his training with his father, being kept from his siblings. He talked about those things without any emotion and little detail. They weren't important to them anymore, as far as he was concerned.

What had Deku said about his past with Bakugou? " _It's funny, when you look back, how much it still hurts."_

"There's the first time your father hurt your mother," Kyōmu said in a voice that was somehow a cross between soothing and mocking. A low groan came from the back of Todoroki's throat and he shook his head desperately, trying to fight the memory off. "You were so small, so young, so weak. Pathetic really. He threw her to the side and you did nothing but cry. Did you even try to help her? Were you too afraid?" Todoroki's face was covered in sweat now and his chest was heaving as he struggled to breathe. "And he did it again and again and again. He hurt you. He hurt your mother, your sister, your brothers. He's a hero. He's your father. Shouldn't he have protected you from monsters instead of being one?"

It was too much. Uraraka couldn't bear to hear more. She knew that Kyōmu was partly talking out loud for her benefit, forcing her to listen to what Todoroki was being forced to see.

"You still hate him, don't you?" Kyōmu said regretfully, a frown on his face to match his tone. "Oh, sure, he did what he could to change his ways. He tried to become a better father and a good person, but you could never fully forgive him for how he twisted your mother against you - how he hurt her so much that the mere sight of you made her crazy with hate and forget herself."

"Stop it," Todoroki ground out through gritted teeth.

Kyōmu leaned down over him, like a dark cloud. "Heroes are supposed to be kind. They're supposed to be good. But what did he do to you? He broke you down, he beat you, he forced you to use your quirk again and again until you couldn't move." He sounded truly sad, like it pained him to witness what Todoroki had gone through. She knew that he didn't actually care, but tears had formed in her eyes, welling in them until her vision was blurry. He was right: he didn't have to change much in order to break Todoroki down. He'd been through a lot. "Do you remember how it felt? How much it burned? How else could he build up your tolerance? How hot did it get? How much did you _burn_?"

A scream was ripped out of Todoroki as he fell forward, pulling at the braces and tearing the skin around his wrists, writhing painfully in the seat. It sounded and looked like he was being burned all over again, as if the mere memory could physically make him feel what his father had put him through. Tears and sweat mixed together and dripped onto the floor and his feet.

Uraraka couldn't take it anymore. She was crying in earnest, tears sliding down her face, as she begged, "Stop it, please! You've done enough!" How could she help him if this was the truth? Maybe Kyōmu was making the memories worse than they were - maybe he was twisting them just enough to make the pain even more brutal - but she couldn't be sure. She had an awful feeling in the pit of her stomach that this was the truth. Sometimes, the truth was worse than a lie. "Please, stop." Her voice wobbled and weakened as she cried. She didn't even know if either of them could hear her over Todoroki's screams. "Please…"

Kyōmu jerked his hands away from Todoroki and took a deep breath, stumbling backwards a little. He had to put his hand on the wall to steady himself. His quirk must've taken a lot out of him, depending on how deep he went into someone's memories. Meanwhile Todoroki gasped, like he was choking for air, and then slumped forward in his seat, going still.

At first, Uraraka was terrified that he wasn't breathing and she gently called out for him, "Shouto? Shouto, can you hear me?"

When he didn't respond, a ball of terror dropped into the pit of her stomach. However, when she looked at her closer, she could see his chest barely moving. He was breathing, just unconscious. His hair was hanging in his face and shielding him from her and she still couldn't reach him, but he was alive. She tried to stop the tears, angry with herself for allowing to show so much emotion in front of Kyōmu, but she couldn't help it. Her heart was in so much pain.

Having gathered himself, Kyōmu stepped back over to Todoroki and reached out to him again, making Uraraka jerk upright and viciously snap, "Don't you dare hurt him again."

Kyōmu quirked an eyebrow and then laid a gentle hand over top Todoroki's hair. He twitched awake, trying to get away, but then Kyōmu smoothed his hair down. It was such a kind touch, like that of a parent. Like a father. As Todoroki gasped through a panic attack, he whispered soothingly, "Just breathe. It's okay. Breathe." For some reason, this was even more horrifying than when he'd been using his quirk. It made her feel even worse when Todoroki began to react positively to it, his breathing slowing down and the tears stopping. "He can't hurt you here. You're safe."

"Liar," Uraraka hissed, horrified when Todoroki groggily nodded his head. "You're a liar!" She kicked and bucked in her chair, her wrists straining from the effort. "Don't listen to him!"

"When will you figure it out, Uraraka?" Kyōmu asked as he stood up straight. Still out of it, Todoroki's head lolled until his chin dropped against his chest again. She glared furiously at Kyōmu. "I control the narrative. I control what's true and what isn't. You're just a prop." He walked to the door and banged on it with his fist twice. "Take them back to the cells!"

The villains that had brought them here came back inside and Kyōmu slipped out in the blink of an eye. She watched as Todoroki was unstrapped from the chair and pulled out. They had to hold him up underneath his arms again, his toes dragging on the ground. He was being carried out of the room when Mr. Compress appeared in front of her and undid her restraints. As soon as they were loose enough, she jerked her hands out of them and stood up. She could tell he was eyeing her face from behind the mask and turned away from him to wipe off her tear-stained cheeks.

Whatever he had to say, she didn't care. She strode out of the room in haste to catch up with the villains carrying Todoroki. One of them reared to shove her away, but then Compress cleared his throat from behind them and shook his head. It wasn't like she could escape with Todoroki in this condition anyways and she wasn't about to leave him behind.

By the time they reached the cells, Todoroki was half on his feet again, though his movements were sluggish and weak. Not only had he been injected with that serum that knocked them out and took away their quirks, but he had suffered through Kyōmu's quirk as well. He shouldn't have been standing. Instead of carefully laying him on his cot, they shoved him into his cell and he staggered and staggered, unable to bear his full weight on his own. He would've fallen on the floor in a heap had she not rushed to catch him, allowing him to fall on her back and shoulder, though it knocked her down on one knee. He was taller and heavier than her, with more muscle, on top of basically being dead weight.

"Come back out and into your cell," Mr. Compress sighed once she carried Todoroki over to his cot. She tried to put him down slowly, but he was so heavy and he fell onto it harder than she would've liked.

Breathing heavily, Uraraka stood up and wiped the sweat from her face. "I'm staying in here."

Mr. Compress eyed her for a moment and then flicked his hands in a gesture of surrender. "Suit yourself, but I would be careful. Midoriya hasn't seemed jealous of Todoroki, but I'm not sure he knows exactly how he feels about him yet." He shut the cell door and locked it, waving the other villains away before returning to the chair and pulling out the book he had been reading before, like nothing had happened.

"Uraraka?" Todoroki's voice was so weak that she almost hadn't heard him, but then she whipped around and rushed to his side, sitting down on her legs at the cot's side.

"Hey, I'm here," Uraraka replied quietly, wiping his hair out of his face. It was covered in sweat and sticking to his skin. She felt a sickly guilty feeling crawling in the back of her mind over the fact that she'd been able to do something as normal and simple as take a shower. Maybe, the next time Deku visited, she could convince him to allow Todoroki to clean up or at least give her a wash rag and some water. This couldn't be good for Todoroki's mental state. Then again, that was the point, wasn't it?

Todoroki rolled onto his side, straining as he did so, and then opened his eyes, blinking them muzzily. She gave him a tremulous smile, one that he couldn't return. "You have to get out of here - before Midoriya begins to believe that the only way to fully have you is to give you to Kyōmu."

"It's not going to happen," Uraraka told him firmly, "and I'm not leaving you." She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm a little low on escape routes as it is."

"I'm serious." Todoroki lifted a shaky hand and grasped her by the collar of her shirt. It was a limp hold at best. If she so much as moved, his hand would fall away. "The second they have you, it's over. He'll be under their control completely. You can't let that happen. If you find a chance to escape, you take it."

"And what about you?" Uraraka asked.

He didn't have an answer for that and they both knew it. He would hold out for as long as he could, but eventually, if he wasn't saved, he would either fall victim to what had happened to Deku or Kyōmu's quirk would kill him. She knew which one he preferred.

"If I can't-" Todoroki swallowed and tightened his grip on her shirt. "Midoriya is too powerful as it is to be under their control. If I turn-"

"You won't," Uraraka reassured him.

Todoroki's voice was low and gravelly as he said, "I'm sure Midoriya thought that too." He let go of her shirt and grabbed her hand that was resting on his head. "I won't work for them. I won't. If you're still here and it looks like I've lost, you have to make sure I don't."

Uraraka tensed up under his touch and her expression hardened. "You can't ask me to do that." Her voice broke a little, but she didn't care. She didn't know how Todoroki could be so cold about this. "I'm not losing you. I'm not losing Bakugou either or Deku. But you can't ask me to do that, not after everything we've gone through."

"I suppose it is cruel of me, isn't it?" Todoroki breathed out and closed his eyes. "I'm scared. I don't think I've ever been this scared in my life. I'm scared and I'm _furious_." His facial expression changed, molding into one filled with pain. "The memories were so vivid. It was like I was five all over again, watching my father intimidate my mother with his flames and toss her across the room when she wouldn't back down. She hit a vase of flowers and it shattered. Water and flowers went everywhere. All I could did was stand there and cry. I was so scared. And the fire… It doesn't now really, but it hurt. It hurt so much. I was in pain every day. I was just a kid and he was supposed to be one of the greatest heroes."

There was nothing Uraraka could say but gently ask, "Are you sure what you saw really happened?"

"Yeah." Todoroki's face went impassive and he slowly opened his eyes. There was a glimmer of grief in them, so vibrant in his blue eye. "It really happened. It all did. Some things can't be faked." That sadness turned to anger, just as bright. "I keep thinking about how much I want to make him pay - how he needs to suffer - what I'd do to bring him to his knees and make him beg the way my mother did, the way I did and maybe my siblings too. A part of me just wants to give in and do just that. Forget proving him wrong. Forget being better. I want to _end_ him."

"The moment you give into those thoughts-"

"Then I've lost. I know." Todoroki let go of her hand and rubbed his face tiredly. "Unfortunately for them, I spent a lot of my youth being more than furious with him. I'm practiced at pushing those thoughts aside for what's best."

Uraraka chewed on her bottom lip. "Maybe if you talked about it more…"

"Maybe," Todoroki said. "I don't know." He pulled his hands away from his face and pushed himself up into the sitting position. Uraraka got on her feet as well and sat down next to him on the cot. "What's the point of a hero if they've done monstrous things? Can they even be considered a hero?"

"Can we consider Deku a hero back then after all that he's done now?" Uraraka picked at the hem of her shorts where the thread was fraying, anything that might distract her. "I'm not defending Endeavor for what he did. He's saved so many people, but he hurt the ones that should've meant the most to him. And whatever Deku thinks, I'm not forgetting what Bakugou did to him, just like I know that Bakugou hasn't forgotten. We all do things that we can't take back. All we can do is live with them and try to do better."

Would she have changed anything about the months that she'd spent after Deku's death? Even without knowing that Deku was alive, would she have done something different? She would've spent more time with her friends and been more present. She would have listened to them more. Todoroki assured her that she'd done enough, but she would always feel like she could've done more. Would she have turned away Bakugou?

No, not when he'd needed help too. Uraraka had to live with her choices and make the best of them. It was what she had been forced to do when Deku had died.

The door was thrown open, much more forcefully than before. Uraraka's throat constricted as Deku strode inside, Dabi and Kurogiri coming in behind him. What really made her mouth dry was the fact that he was wearing his villain costume again. It couldn't have been a day since he'd killed a villain in this very room while wearing it. There was no smile on his face. When his eyes landed on her, she couldn't find any warmth in them and the light was completely gone.

"Get her out." Even his voice was emotionless, although she noted a strain in his words. Mr. Compress didn't need to be told twice. He was on his feet and opening the cell door in a flash. "Come out."

"Where are we going?" Uraraka asked, not moving from her seat on the cot. She gripped it tighter, like she might be able to hold on and never let go. When Deku didn't answer, she hardened herself. "What's going on?"

Instead of telling her again, Deku walked into the cell and grabbed her by the arm. She pulled away from him and his grip slid down to her wrist. He hesitated and furrowed his brow when he saw the red marks on her skin, which she'd gotten from jerking on the restraints, but then tightened his grip and pulled her to her feet. She dug her heels into the ground, but he pulled on her harder.

Deku huffed in frustration. "Ochako-"

"Just tell me what's going on!" she demanded.

Despite his exhaustion, Todoroki stood up and put a hand on her shoulder. "Midoriya, you can't-"

"You need to rest," Deku interrupted, putting a hand on Todoroki's chest and shoving him. It wasn't hard, but it was enough to knock him back onto the cot. "And don't tell me what I can and can't do with her." He took a breath. "I appreciate all that you've done for her. I know you did it for me too. You're a good friend. But I don't need you meddling in our business. It's time for you to step down."

Todoroki's eyes went cold. "If you hurt her…"

"Relax," Deku replied, squaring his shoulders. "I've said it before and I'll say it again. I will never hurt her." His eyes flickered to hers briefly. "But we have some business to settle."

Dread settled in the pit of Uraraka's stomach. "Deku?"

"Tell Shouto goodbye." The way Deku spoke made it sound so final that the dread turned into outright fear.

Uraraka stepped away from him as much as she could with him still holding onto her. "I don't want to go."

"You don't have a choice," Deku said. "I'm sorry." In a way, he did sound sorry, but that only made it worse. What was he planning? Whatever it was, she wouldn't like it and he knew that. "Tell him goodbye."

"No, I'm not going with you."

Deku sighed frustratedly. "Ochako, please."

"Just leave her be, Midoriya," Todoroki cut in. "She doesn't want to go."

"Stay out of-"

"You're scaring her-"

"Shut up!" Deku shouted, silencing Todoroki and stilling Uraraka. "I tried to play nice - I did - but we don't have time for this."

Instead of pulling on her, he picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder. The action was so sudden that she didn't fight at first, only squeaking as her world turned upside down, but then she started to kick and reached out for Todoroki. His hand was a few inches from hers when blue flames cut in between them and both of them were forced to pull back or get burned. The cell was slammed shut in Todoroki's face and Uraraka was dropped on the ground, stumbling so her back hit the wall.

Uraraka clenched her hands into fists and then quickly forced them to relax. "Don't touch me like that again."

"I'm sorry." Deku ran a hand down her hair and then cupped her face. "Now will you please stop fighting? I don't want to do this the hard way."

"Will you just tell me where we're going?" Uraraka asked him quietly, willing her heart to calm down.

Deku shook his head. "Not yet. I'll tell you more when we get there." He finally gave her a smile. "Don't worry; it'll all be over soon."

That only made her worry more. The second Deku turned away to speak with Mr. Compress, Uraraka caught eyes with Todoroki, who wasn't bothering to hide the anger and concern from his face. Dabi was leaning against the cell bars now, but he ignored him, continuing to watch her and Deku. He was trying so hard to be strong. It was clear that Deku didn't trust her as much anymore. He was using force, keeping things from her, and, while it had bothered him, he hadn't made any comments on the marks on her wrist.

Wherever they were going, whatever they would be doing, Uraraka had to find a way to fight against it.

I'll be fine, she tried to convey to Todoroki, but she could tell that he didn't believe it. Maybe it was because, for the first time, she didn't fully believe it either and that was what truly frightened her.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes:** So this was...not the chapter I promised you all. It doesn't have the action like I said. If I put the action scene in here, the chapter would've ended up being like 14k. It also would've taken me a few more days to write it. In the end, I decided to cut it in half so I could give myself some respite to focus on my other works for a few days before coming back to this and writing what will be an exhausting action scene for me. I'm still planning it out in my end, although I have the end of the chapter fully in mind and I am freaking excited about it. I know we're all hyped about Bakugou vs Deku 2.0, but this chapter involved an equally important confrontation. Also, there are some things that Deku has been avoiding and I'm not letting him do that anymore. Also, if it sounds like Deku's not making complete sense, well, he's had someone digging around in his head for almost a year. I wouldn't either.

* * *

 _"A mentor enables a person to achieve. A hero shows what achievement looks like."_  
 **\- John C. Mathers**

* * *

When they stepped out of the warp gate, the first thing to strike Uraraka was how fresh the air smelled. She'd been locked in a building for at least three or four days without seeing the sun. Being out in the open, feeling the light breeze on her skin, and the heat of the summer air, was almost like a shock to the system. She was caught off guard to find that it was dusk, the sun setting behind the buildings. With dark clouds on the horizon, soaking up the last remaining rays of the sunlight, it was growing dark, but there were streetlights that kept the darkness at bay.

Upon walking to the mouth of the alley, Uraraka surveyed the area. It looked vaguely familiar. Uraraka could've sworn that she'd been here at least once, but it was hard to tell. She wasn't as strong as she should've been. In between getting dosed with that quirk inhibitor drug, the emotional turmoil, and not eating properly, she knew that she wasn't at the top of her game. Adrenaline had been building in her veins up until they'd crossed through the gate, but now, with the sounds of a sleepy city and lively bugs as background noise, she felt as if it had been sucked out of her.

What were they doing here? It was so...peaceful.

Deku was watching her with a pensive expression on his face as she looked around. "Do you know where we are?"

"I…" Uraraka's eyes landed on a medium height square building. It was tucked away behind some trees and there were a few other smaller buildings blocking its lower half, but a jolt of recognition shot through her. She paled and spun around to Deku. "You're not-"

"No, you don't need to worry about that," Deku interrupted softly, shaking his head. She thought he looked a little sad, but it was hard to tell. He didn't look pleased or upset or angry, but he wasn't entirely blank either. His face was smooth, maybe even a little tired, but all she could think was that it looked as soft as his voice sounded. "I'm not about to bring her into this."

Even if he couldn't feel sadness over this, Uraraka did and it threatened to swallow her whole. "Deku…"

"Besides, they moved her out of the city three days ago," Deku continued, injecting a little more strength in his voice and stance. He was trying to put on an act that none of this bothered him, but she could tell that it did by the way his eyes seemed to bounce off the building if he came close to looking at it. "I'm a little irritated that they didn't think to do it right away, but she's safe now and that's all that matters."

Safe. Uraraka bit her lip. Deku had once said that she would be safer with him, but that hadn't completely been the case. A villain had attacked her and Kyōmu had used Todoroki to threaten her. She'd been locked away like a doll, but now here she was on the outside with him, like they were going out for an evening stroll. They had done plenty of those before, especially after moving in together. When they got off work together and were tired, but didn't want to just stay home. She'd loved those little moments with him.

It almost felt like that now, but when she looked over at him again and saw his villain costume, her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach.

"Your mother…" Uraraka knew that she was walking on shaky ground right now. "It would devastate her to see you like this."

Deku turned away from her. This was the first time he had brought up his mother and she could tell that it was a very difficult and confusing subject. It had to have been a trigger for him, perhaps even one more difficult for Kyōmu to deal with than her. There was no way he could have managed to turn Deku against the one person who had always loved and encouraged him no matter what. She'd raised a sweet, loving, and loyal son who would do anything to protect everyone he could.

What would she think of him now? Uraraka could only imagine her heartbreak upon finding out what had happened to her kind boy. It had hurt her not to call Deku's mom right away and tell her what was going on, but they had hoped to put an end to it before that had to be done. Instead, things had spiraled out of control. Deku closed his eyes and flexed his fingers at his sides. He looked as if he might break down as well.

Instead, he took a breath and opened his eyes. "It… It really wounds me to know that I've hurt her - that I've upset her. How alone she must have felt when she thought I'd died. My dad…" He twisted his lips in a frown. "He only stayed for two weeks after my funeral, you know?" She did know that. In all the time that she had known Deku, she had only heard him mention his father twice and both had been offhand comments. Meeting him after his son's death had been uncomfortable. "He couldn't handle…" Deku shook his head. "She's always taken care of everything on her own, including herself."

"I should've been there for her more," Uraraka admitted, shame filling her heart. Of course, she had kept in close contact with Inko Midoriya. They had lunch often and Uraraka took her to the mall, among other things. All Might stayed close with her as well. Neither one of them had wanted her to be alone, but just as no one could truly fill the void that Deku had left behind in Uraraka's life, she had known that, at the end of the day, there was very little they could do to help her mourn the loss of her only child. "I should've…"

"No." Deku turned back around and grabbed her hand. "You did everything you could. It wasn't on you to shoulder everyone's pain, not when you were suffering as well."

This was perhaps the closest Deku had gotten to admitting that his death had changed everything. He'd glossed over it before, as if him seemingly coming back to life erased all the pain they'd gone through in the eleven months that he'd been gone, but now he was confronting it. Why? Had it been because of their argument? Had he finally come to realize that some things had been irrevocably changed?

She could love him all she wanted, but she also couldn't forget that sense of freedom she'd felt the night before he'd come back. The feeling that she could breathe and it was okay to take that next step forward in moving on with her life. She hadn't known what it might entail, but she had been ready to find out.

It was gone though, all dashed away, and just as she had been left to wonder for eleven months what might have happened if Deku hadn't died, she couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if he hadn't come back. It made her feel sick, guilty, angry, and confused and she didn't even know where to direct those emotions.

In a way, right now, it looked like Deku was thinking the same thing. What if he hadn't popped back in her life that morning? Where would she be now? Where would he be? Her stomach twisted. He would be in a far worse place than he was now if that was possible. She had to believe that him seeking her meant something good and not just a part of Kyōmu's mind games.

"What are we doing here, Deku?" Uraraka finally asked.

Deku's gaze swung from their position at the mouth of the alley and he pointed at the park to the left. "I used to go there all the time after school to play with Kacchan and the others - except, after their quirks manifested, it wasn't really playing." His voice was strange, sounding cut off from him. The only way she could explain it was that it sounded like he wasn't here or there. "I was stupid for a long time - I still thought we could be friends - but after a while, I knew the most I could hope for was for him to ignore me. Even though I loved the park, especially around this time, I started to avoid it, just so I could have a peaceful day, but it just got worse at school instead."

Uraraka tentatively put a hand on his arm. "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell any of us?"

"I don't know," Deku admitted. "Maybe I thought it would make me look weak."

"The first time you two confronted each other, you gave it your all," Uraraka pointed out. "How could I have ever thought you weak?"

"I guess…" Deku's face was impossible to read. Was he sad? Angry? Disappointed? Accepting? His eyes stayed locked on the park. "I guess I thought it didn't matter. He was going to become a hero, no matter what, and so was I. What did it matter if he used to terrorize me and so many other kids just because he was strong and he could? That wasn't going to change anything. It didn't matter. I didn't matter. At the end of the day, hero society doesn't care if you're a terrible person deep down if you're strong. The end will always justify the means."

"You can't think that."

"I know that." Deku turned to look at her. "And I bet you know a little more of that now after what you heard during Todoroki's sessions with Kyōmu."

She winced and pulled her hand away. To be honest, she'd known some about it already. After Deku's death, she and Todoroki had spent a lot of time together slowly opening up about things. She'd once thought that he had it all, having been raised by the number two hero. That position had earned him a lot of money. However, when he'd haltingly talked about what his childhood had been like… She might not have been rich, but she'd had more than him as well in so many ways.

Deku leaned against the brick wall, just out of the reach of the streetlamp and keeping him in the shadows. With his face plastered all over the news, he couldn't stroll around as easily as he had before, especially not when he was in his villain costume. He was too recognizable and there were still a few people out and about despite it being close to night. If someone noticed him, a lot of trouble would come about. It felt like they were waiting for someone or something, but she didn't know who with his mom having been taken to a safe place.

It was getting close to that time where the park would be deserted. Besides a handful of kids and a few parents, it was beginning to empty out. It was getting close to when families would eat dinner and kids would go to bed. Once that happened, Deku could show his face. He'd been in public quite a few times after his death, but no one had paid attention to him then. He went back to being the average-looking boy everyone had remembered him by before he'd become a hero.

"Why did you bring me here?" Uraraka asked again.

Deku pointed to an area of the park at their two o'clock where a few benches sat next to the playground. Parents could sit down and watch their children play. There were no parents there now and there was only one child with a mother and father on the other side of the playground, but the benches weren't empty. A young dark-haired boy sat on one, anxiously looking around and then glancing down at his cell phone in his hands. Just as the area had, he looked familiar as well, but the distance made it difficult to tell who it was immediately.

When he looked around again, his head turning in their direction but not seeing them, Uraraka gasped and jerked around. "Deku, you can't!" He just looked at her, his eyes considering and dim. "You can't bring him into this. He's innocent. He's just a kid!"

Instead of arguing with her, Deku held his ups hands. "He contacted me, not the other way around."

Uraraka swallowed and looked back out to Kota. He was obviously waiting for someone - for Deku - and it made her stomach lurch. _Why? Why did you come here?_

That was a dumb question though, wasn't it? She knew why. It was because this was Deku, the new Symbol of Peace and Kota's personal hero. Deku had meant more to him than any other fan could say. He was the first person that Deku had saved on his own as nothing more than a first year U.A. student. Deku had shattered his arms to save him from Muscular, going further than any of them could've imagined. Uraraka could still remember how utterly destroyed he had looked in the forest, but that hadn't stopped him in the slightest until the very end when his body simply gave out.

Deku had become a hero that day, not when he'd received his license.

Kota's life had not only been saved but irrevocably changed. Gone was his loathing of heroes and rejection of quirks. He would still mourn the death of his parents, dead at the hands of the villain who had nearly claimed his own life, but he understood them better. He'd received closure that he had never expected nor wanted. The moment Deku had saved him, his whole world had turned on its end and he was able to step through a door that he'd locked.

A person's quirk could become weak without use and it was likely, if he had lived somehow but Deku had sacrificed so much to save him, Kota's quirk would have eventually rotted away. Instead, he had begun to use it again, bringing it back to life, and she knew, from Deku talking about him a year ago, that it had come back full force, renewed with the potential to be stronger than his parents' water quirks.

And now, here he was, sitting on a bench alone in a park as the sun set, waiting for his hero to return. Except that hero was gone, replaced by someone who hunted in the shadows that she knew would only horrify him.

She couldn't handle the idea of his world crumbling around him. He'd built so much around Deku and with his help. They'd stayed in close contact and Kota had even stayed in the city a few times with him, like a little brother or nephew. He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't have to see Deku like this. It had been excruciating for her, devastating for All Might, terrible for Bakugou, painful for Todoroki, and tragic and so many other things for everyone else. She didn't want to think about how much this would break Kota. Even though he was only a few years younger than when they'd gone to U.A., he was still just a boy.

"Let me send him back to U.A.," Uraraka pleaded. "I don't know what your plan is, but please, let him go."

Deku eyed Uraraka sideways. "I'm not planning on kidnapping him, if that's what you're worried about, or hurting him to get back at Kacchan or the others." He frowned. "Do you think I'd kill a child so thoughtlessly?"

Uraraka's mouth was dry, so she didn't say anything. To be honest, she didn't know what he was capable of at this point and she was afraid to find out. He was still upset over the newscast and Bakugou's announcement. Getting Kota involved somehow would be an excellent dig at them, a hit right under their noses. Kota glanced at his cell again, tapped perhaps a message on it, hesitated, and then set his phone down. Yes, he was definitely waiting on them. Were they running late? Was Deku waiting on purpose to see if Kota had someone waiting to attack should they show their faces?

"He reached out to me and I answered," Deku said, watching who could've been considered his number one fan. "I told him that I would always do so when he called. I'd never let him down, at least in that regard. I couldn't always be the perfect hero, but I'd do whatever I could to help him." He tilted his head in thought. "How could I say no? What kind of person would that make me? He was so frantic and upset. I couldn't say no."

"What are you going to do then?" Uraraka questioned.

"I don't know," Deku replied and he sounded completely honest. "Talk, I suppose. He deserves the truth."

Almost subconsciously, he kept clenching and unclenching his right first. It was his right arm that he'd broken so severely while protecting Kota that not even Recovery Girl could heal the vicious scar left behind. It didn't hurt him anymore, but every now and then, she thought there might be some phantom pains. He hadn't talked about it much before, not wanting to dwell on the damage that he'd done to his body in order to learn control over his quirk. It had pushed him to his very limits, nearly killing him so many times.

"If I can help him understand, if only a little, then maybe I won't have failed him entirely." Deku hung his head. Was it shame? Guilt? There was still so much resting on his shoulders. Everyone put so much on him, thinking he could handle it. How long had it been since he could just breathe? Had he ever been like that or had he always been pushing himself since deciding he wanted to become a hero like All Might? "Kids are so impressionable, you know? We all have our heroes and sometimes… Well, sometimes they're not quite who we thought they were and it hurts."

His words struck a chord in Uraraka's chest, making her realize that he wasn't just talking about himself. "If you're referring to All Might, he-"

"I don't care about him," Deku interrupted coldly.

Uraraka pressed on anyway. "He's extremely worried for you. Seeing you like this is killing him."

Deku folded his arms across his chest and mumbled, "I wish it would kill him a little faster."

An arrow of pain struck Uraraka directly in the chest, sucking the air right out of her lungs. "You can't mean that. He was… All Might was everything to you. He's the reason you wanted to become a hero - the reason you were able to become one."

"By that definition, then he's the reason I became a villain too," Deku put in, holding up a lofty hand. "And worried about me? Of course he's worried. I've got his precious One for All. That's all that he's ever worried about. If he was capable of more than a half-hearted punch, he'd try to take that away. He'd probably be forced to kill me." When he laughed, there was no humor in it, nothing but coldness, and it made her cringe. He looked at his hand. "In the end, I'm nothing but a vessel to him. I'm nothing."

"How can you say that?" Uraraka demanded, utterly stricken. "You mean the world to him! I saw him the night you first attacked Bakugou and then Todoroki. This is breaking him to pieces."

"I broke myself to pieces!" Deku snapped, turning on her so quickly that she reared back. There was a vicious look on his face, but anguish in his eyes. "Over and over and over again! It was all I could do to appease him. Even then, I was never quite good enough. I felt like I was crawling just to do something right. I could breathe under the weight of that pressure. And the lies… All the lies…"

Uraraka stared at him. This must have been the work of Kyōmu again, twisting things here and there in Deku's memory, tainting his view of the hero who had shaped his whole world. It was a devastating but effective blow. All Might was such a massive part of Deku's life, even more so than her. A few tweaks of his memories of All Might - be it by erasing certain memories, altering them, or maybe adding a few fake ones - Deku's entire worldview could be changed. He could be made into a different person.

"I'm not going to lie to Kota," Deku finished. "He's strong though If he can move past it…"

"He won't," Uraraka told him. "You were- You _are_ a hero to him."

"I hate to disappoint you both, Ochako, but that isn't me anymore." Deku shook his head. That boy had to be in there somewhere. He had to be locked away, just waiting to be brought back to the light. He couldn't be gone. He couldn't. Kota had to have seen the footage that had been leaked to the news, but he'd still believed that Deku was good. He still trusted Deku. It was a child's blind trust, of course, but then what did that make hers?

Feeling tired but not ready to give up, Uraraka dropped her hands to her side. "Is that why you brought me here? So I could see my last bit of hope taken away?"

"You needed some fresh air, didn't you?" Deku responded, but she knew that wasn't the truth. He glanced at her, seeing the disbelieving look on her face, and moved his gaze back to the park. "I bought you here for him. He asked for you. He's a clever kid. Besides, there might not be many people out here right now, but you can blend in better than I can these days."

"No, I'm not helping you," Uraraka said firmly.

"Then don't think of it that way," Deku replied, sounding as if he couldn't care less what she decided to do. "Think of it as helping Kota. Because without you here, it's just him and at least three villains."

A sense of dread settled in the pit of her stomach and she stepped away from him. That was all he'd needed to say to convince her. She couldn't leave Kota out on her own. After putting it that way, Uraraka felt almost grateful that Deku had brought her. Even without access to her quirk, she would protect Kota. It would've made more sense for him to leave her behind if he really wanted to sway Kota. He had to know that she would keep him away. Then again, she had thought that being with Deku might help break him away from the villains, but it felt as if she had only pushed him deeper into the illusion.

"Go on then," Deku said, inclining his head forward. "Go to him. I know you're itching to tell him how much I've changed."

It cut Uraraka to the quick. "Deku, that's not-"

But Deku turned away from her. "I wouldn't try to alert anyone to call the police if I were you. Dabi's on standby and he'd love an excuse to cause a scene."

As much as she wanted Deku to look at her again, Uraraka knew that he wouldn't. Instead of letting her heart sink, she pressed on, stepping out of the dark alley and into the dim light of dusk. Kota didn't notice her walking up to him, his feet bouncing on the ground as he gazed down at his phone again. She opened her mouth to call out to him, but then bit her lip, her mind going back to what Deku had said to her last. Taking a deep breath, she kept on walking until she was only a few meters from the bench.

Before Uraraka could say anything to announce her presence, Kota looked up right at her, as if sensing she was there, and he jumped to his feet as if the bench had shocked him. "Uraraka!" He gave her no time to react, bolting towards her and wrapping his arms around her. She clung to him tightly as he pressed his face into his shoulder. He'd grown so much since she had first seen him at the UA Training Camp. Gods, he was getting so tall. "You're here. You came."

 _I didn't have much of a choice,_ she thought.

She couldn't say that to him though. If given the choice, she would still be here. There was no way she was going to leave him alone with Deku, especially not when she couldn't figure out his current mental state. "Kota." She kept her voice no louder than a whisper, despite the fact that there was no way that Deku, Dabi, or anyone else but him could hear her. "You shouldn't have come him. You shouldn't have contacted him."

"I don't understand." Kota began to pull away, but she held onto him tighter and kept him in place.

"Please." Uraraka closed her eyes. "I don't know if it'll do any good, but run away. Run as fast as you can. You need to get out of here. I can't protect you. My quirk - they've done something to me so I can't use it."

Kota went still in her arms. He'd lifted his head enough that he could look over her shoulders, the alley directly in his line of sight. "He's really gone, isn't he?" She slowly opened her eyes. His voice was low and she could tell that he was shoving away as much emotion as he could. "The news and everyone said he was a villain now, but I didn't believe it. He couldn't be one. He couldn't be…"

"It's not him," Uraraka promised. "It's not him."

She could hear Kyōmu's words ricocheting in her mind: _"It's still him in there, the boy you loved."_ Did it make things worse if he wasn't there or if it was him? She didn't know anymore.

"I had to do something," Kota insisted, his voice cracking like any preteen's would. She knew it was for a different reason though. "I watched the video repeatedly and all I could think about how alone he was - how he fought all by himself. I kept thinking-" He clutched her shirt. "He wouldn't give up. He'd jump in to save the day. Everyone was only talking about how they could defeat him, not save him and I couldn't let it go."

Uraraka could understand that. She felt it - that inability to let him go, to stop fighting for him, to give in to this reality. Every second with the villains had clawed away at that determination to the point where she now felt like she was faltering, especially with Kota having been pulled in the crosshairs. If she believed that Deku wasn't capable of hurting Kota, then why was she so afraid for him? It wasn't her fault. The last few days had dragged her to a level she hadn't thought existed.

Pulling away from him, Uraraka put her hands on his shoulders and fixed him with a firm look. "Go - now - as fast as you can."

He didn't run though and shook his head. It was only then that she noticed his body trembling underneath her palms. He was afraid. "I can't."

She furrowed her brow. "Why not?"

"Because I'm here."

Uraraka ripped her hands from Kota's shoulders and spun around. Night had almost completely overtaken them and, in this spot under the trees, the streetlights that dotted the park didn't reach them well. With his dark villain costume, Deku blended in well in the dark, except for his red gloves. She stood her ground in front of Kota, splaying her arms out, as if she could do anything to shield him from his idol. With the shadows over his face, it was hard to read Deku's expression, except for maybe disappointment.

"Stay back," Uraraka told him, not bothering to be gentle anymore. It was different with a child around. She would not bend to him.

Deku only held up his hands. "Relax, I'm not going to do anything." He leaned to the side, peering around Uraraka and Kota shuffled further behind her as if he could hide. "You contacted me, didn't you? If you ever needed me, I told you to call and I would come as soon as possible. And I did." He held out his hand and tapped his foot. "First things first: you know the rule."

Even though she could sense his fear and feel his hesitancy, Kota stepped to the side into view. Bending down, he set his phone on the ground and slid it over to Deku, who picked it up and pocketed it. That way Kota couldn't alert anyone either. "It's true then?" he asked. "You're a villain?"

"That depends on your definition of a villain," Deku prompted.

A fire sparked in Kota and he took a step forward. Only Uraraka putting her am against him held him back. "Aizawa said in the interview that you killed people."

"They were villains and causing a lot of problems for Uravity and the agency she works at," Deku pointed out, his voice mild, like a teacher's.

"You helped kidnap Uraraka and Shouto!" Kota exclaimed heatedly.

Deku didn't even blink. "She asked me to take her with me. Besides, does she look kidnapped to you now?"

At this, Kota hesitated and Uraraka flinched. She had asked him to do that. Plus, in her current outfit, she could honestly say that no, she didn't look as if she'd been kidnapped. She looked like she'd come here for a nighttime stroll in the park. When she had walked towards Kota, the few people left had paid her no mind. She didn't look like missing in action pro hero Uravity.

Instead of backing down though, Kota clenched his hands into fists. "You were fighting your best friends. You tried to kill them."

"There would've been no trying if that was the case," Deku said. "If I wanted them dead, they would be. I have the power for that."

Kota's face paled, but Uraraka knew that Deku was only being honest. He hadn't wanted to kill Todoroki - he'd even admitted as such multiple times - and so when given the choice he had opted to spare him. He could've killed Bakugou right away, but he'd chosen a method that, while terribly cruel, would let him live. Even Kaminari, who Deku had finally told her was alive, hadn't been hurt directly by him. Deku could've easily killed him right after ending the video chat and they would've been none the wiser.

Had he...deliberately spared their lives? Even Bakugou's?

"You-you broke those other villains out of prison," Kota finished, this time in a much quieter and hurt tone.

This time, Deku sighed and nodded his head. "I did do that, didn't I? Well, there really isn't a good answer for that one. We needed more manpower and to shake things up. That was the best way to do it."

"You mean the villains?"

"Yes," Deku said flatly, "I mean the villains. I mean us."

Kota burst like a dam, tears filling up his eyes. "You can't be one though. You're a hero! You're Deku!"

"I'm not that person anymore, Kota," Deku told him. "I'm sorry."

"You saved my life," Kota proclaimed. Any other person would've taken a step back, but he stayed rooted in his spot. It was an admirable if not terrifying trait at the moment. "I would've died. You...you sacrificed so much to save me. You changed everything."

When Deku stepped forward, Uraraka moved to get in his way, but Kota put a hand on her arm and she stopped. She couldn't have said why she did. No, she wasn't a match for Deku, not even in the slightest right now, but she refused to let him get close enough to touch Kota. Still, the second she felt his hand on her arm, she hesitated and so did Deku, keeping himself at an arm's length.

"And I would do it again," Deku insisted. "I'd save you again - right here, right now."

"You said it yourself though," Kota replied. "You're not that person. You're a villain."

"That doesn't mean I can't do heroic things," Deku said. His words only made Kota's frown deepen. "The world isn't black and white like so many heroes make it out to be. Good and evil - they're two made up words. No one is wholly good or evil. We're a mixture of both and so much more." He scoffed. "Heroes are quick to label all villains as evil, but I've witnessed behavior from heroes that could be labeled even more villainous. Who are they to decide what is right and wrong?"

"Who are you?" Kota countered. Uraraka felt a burst of pride towards him. Any other civilian would have been shaking under the weight of Deku's gaze. It was heavy, no light in his eyes, and considering in a way that made her skin crawl. For however afraid he was, Kota didn't look away.

"You know, if I'd followed the rules that night during the camping trip," Deku drawled, "if I'd done as I was told by the pro heroes in charge, you'd be dead." Kota didn't flinch, but she could tell that he was stung by Deku's words. Even worse, Uraraka knew that he was telling the truth. They'd been given strict orders not to fight the villains or suffer possible expulsion and Deku had done it anyways. "If I'd listened, I would have stood by and watched as Muscular tore you apart. I wouldn't have intervened. I wouldn't have saved you. And I would've been considered a good and obedient student. I wouldn't have gotten in trouble for protecting you."

Kota struggled, shuffling on his feet again. "That's not…"

"Now tell me: what kind of hero just lets a child die?" Deku asked. "Where's the good in that?" Kota didn't have an answer and the truth was that Uraraka didn't either. The only reason they'd been able to fight to attempt to save Bakugou and Tokoyami from getting kidnapped was because Aizawa had given them permission and even he had been scolded for it by the press and his superiors. "There isn't and I'll tell you why. Because the people that hold all the power, the ones in control, they don't want heroes. They want obedient dogs that will bark when told to speak, heel on command, and bite when ordered. That's not good. That's not heroic."

When Kota went silent and stared hard at the ground, Uraraka could sense the shift in the air. Deku stood up straight, a faint look of accomplishment on his face. The fact that she wasn't denying it meant that it was true. By all accounts, Kota should be dead right now. Deku never should've gone to look for him and he definitely shouldn't have stepped in to fight a villain to save him. He shouldn't have been a hero when he was only a student.

It was one of the most defining moments of Deku's life, one of his biggest motivators to become the number one hero, and he'd been scolded for it. He'd shattered his body to save a child and had been forced to worry about getting expelled from school. She thought it was partly why he had been so quick to save Bakugou from the League. The chance of him losing his dream had already been hanging over his head. Even more shaming to UA, he didn't regret it. He would've done it again if it meant Kota would be alive. What was more important? The life of an innocent or becoming a hero?

The fact that he had been placed in the position to make that call spoke a lot about what it meant to be a hero. Not even Uraraka could deny that.

"Maybe you're right," Kota finally said, still looking at the ground. Uraraka's heart skipped a beat. "But it doesn't matter. The Deku I knew didn't care about things like that. The only thing he wanted to do you - the only thing you wanted to do was save people." He wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand and lifted his head so that he could glare at Deku. "Even if sometimes that just meant talking to a kid who was learning to accept his quirk again. If you don't believe that being a hero means saving people and none of that other bullshit, then Deku really did die."

"And a heroic death it was too!" Deku shot back. "How much praise did they smother on me for my sacrifice? How much did the media hound Ochako for her reactions?" She turned her head away slightly. They had come after her a lot in that first month, especially when she'd gone back to work. Some had accused her of being heartless since she'd gone back after only two weeks, others brave and inspirational. Bakugou had scared off a lot of paparazzi looking for that perfect sound bite or picture of her in mourning. "Remind you of anything? That's all heroes are, Kota. Nothing but cardboard cutouts for the public. How long before I was erased in the ranks like I wasn't even there? Such a heroic death, one to be proud of and admire, and it meant nothing."

"That's not true," Uraraka cut in. "You saved so many lives that day."

"I wonder how many of those people are now convinced I wasn't truly a hero," Deku said. "You're only a hero until someone decides you aren't. It doesn't matter who or how many people you save. I could've easily been stopped after I saved Kota - or even after I saved you in the entrance exams."

Uraraka shook her head. "But you weren't. That was the reason why they accepted you: because you chose to save someone instead of helping yourself."

"Yet the moment when I was put in that position in the real world, it was the wrong one," Deku countered hotly. It wasn't just saving Kota either. There was also the Hero Killer Incident where he and Todoroki had run off to save Iida. And then when he had chosen to save Bakugou, putting his entire future on the line, it had happened again. Scolded for trying to save another. It was all such a mess. Kyōmu had used so many important moments in Deku's life that molded him into a hero to turn him into a villain. It was hard to understand. "The whole thing is messed up and corrupt! It can't be good. It can't!"

"But you can be and that's what being a hero really is," Kota said.

"You're only a hero if you conform to the system," Deku declared emphatically. "That's why it has to be destroyed."

"I don't believe it," Kota replied. "I don't believe you."

Deku reared back slightly, but he didn't look angry, only disappointed. "You're young. It's easy to be idealistic now. I didn't help that. One day though, you'll understand that I'm right." He held out a hand and turned on his heels in the direction of the alley. "C'mon, Ochako, we're leaving. I told you that I wouldn't do anything to harm him. It's time he went home."

Before Uraraka could even think whether to listen to him or not, Kota moved so that he was standing in front of her and Uraraka realized with a shock that he was meaning to protect her. She'd told him that she couldn't use her quirk, but he could use his. He was putting her life above his safety.

Putting a hand on Kota's shoulder, she quietly said, "We can't win right now, but I'll be okay."

"No." Kota flexed his fingers at his sides, but she could see them shaking again. "I won't let you take her."

Deku paused to look back at him. "I wasn't asking." His eyes flickered to hers. "You remember what I said?"

Biting her lip, Uraraka nodded and squeezed Kota's shoulder. "This isn't your battle."

Kota stared up at her in the eyes and she could tell exactly what he was thinking through that angry and crestfallen gaze. If it had to do with Deku, then of course it was his battle. She'd been afraid of that. She worried that he might do something rash, like she had done to save Bakugou, but then a familiar sound echoed in the air.

All three of them jerked in the direction of the sound, Deku tensing in preparation and Uraraka's heart soaring with hope. She knew that sound. It was similar to a noise that she heard on a daily basis, but not quite the same. It was personal and reminded her of so many good things in her life. It could've been anything else, but she knew that sound instinctively. Not an explosion, but the comforting sound of an engine.

Deku activated his quirk at the last second and leaped out of the way before Iida slid into their line of sight, an engine-powered kick just barely missing Deku by an inch. Uraraka's hair whipped in the wind caused by Iida's speed, but despite being overwhelmed with emotion over seeing a close friend, she grabbed Kota and pulled him out of the way.

"Uraraka!" Iida turned to look at her, his eyes wide with shock behind his glasses.

"There's no time to explain!" Uraraka shouted. "He's not alone!"

As if on cue, blue flames exploded towards Iida, who was fortunately quick enough to dodge them. Uraraka bent over Kota, protecting him as much as she could. As close as they had been, the flames didn't touch her, but the intense heat from them licked at her back and made her sweat.

"We're not alone either," Iida prepared, turning his gaze to Deku, who was standing on top of a slide and glaring down at them. Upon hearing the sound of vehicles and the telltale sound of an explosion, Uraraka almost collapsed with relief. Back-up had arrived and the real battle was about to begin.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes:** One) I'm sorry that this chapter took so long. It's one huge action scene with a lot of players involved and that takes a lot out of me. I kept procrastinating because I couldn't picture things and it was really frustrating. Writing characters with different fighting styles and quirks is no joke. Hori, you cray cray for writing this. I'm not really happy with how this chapter turned out, but I'm not terribly disappointed by it either. So there's that.

Two) This chapter has two of my favorite scenes in it, one of which has been in my head since the very beginning before I even started writing this fic. I had this scene in my head, but literally no context for it, so I didn't know how it was going to get featured in the story. I've pretty much been writing to get here and it feels like such a relief to finally build a bridge to it and get there. Twenty-four chapters later.

Three) I'm only going to say this one more time and I'm done. Another reason why I've taken so long for this update is because I've been getting a lot of nasty messages over ships. I get it: you don't like Kacchako or Izuocha isn't your thing. You'll hate me and feel like you wasted your time if this ends in Kacchako. I'm a bad writer if it doesn't end in Izuocha. Cool, awesome, whatever. Don't read this then. I love both ships and Izuocha was my first one in the BNHA fandom, but it's getting to the point where I don't want to write for it and that has severely affected how I write and view this fic in particular. Everyone is entitled to their ships - whether the ones they love or the ones they hate - but at the end of the day, I started writing this story for myself alone. I'm fucking FLOORED and SO GRATEFUL for everyone that has read, reviewed, and liked this fic, even when it's a total hot mess, but please, no ship hate. The ships are not my priority for this fic at all. What I'm looking forward is to seeing how the characters end up individually at the end of this story - if they're alive. Also Uraraka is NOT a whore. That's all.

ENJOY AND THANK YOU!

* * *

 _"A hero has faced it all: he need not be undefeated, but he must be undaunted."_  
 **\- Andrew Bernstein**

* * *

As the sound of Bakugou's explosion echoed throughout the park, Deku scowled and his eyes swung to the left to look over the horizon. He clenched his fists at his side, preparing for the fight that he knew was on the way. Judging by the sound, Bakugou wasn't too far off and the look on Deku's face suggested that he was ready for it. No doubt Bakugou was as well.

Iida, on the other hand, was not, judging from how he called out, "You don't want to do this!"

Uraraka's heart sank. There was no reasoning with Deku when he was like this, lost in his own muddled head, but she could understand the sentiment of what Iida was trying to do. He didn't want to fight one of his closest friends. So far, he had been on the outskirts of this battle - Kyomu had said that he'd pushed Iida's and Tsu's importance back to deal with later - but now they were coming to a head. Try as he might, Iida wouldn't be able to avoid a fight.

"Oh, don't I?" Deku countered, wearing a sneer that looked so wrong on his face. She couldn't remember him ever doing anything like that. "You don't know what I want."

"Then tell me!" Iida exclaimed.

"You wouldn't understand," Deku replied.

"Help me understand!" Iida practically pleaded. He tore off his helmet so that they could look at each other face-to-face. Deku shakily relaxed his fists so that his fingers could twitch against his legs. "We have always been there for each other. It's because of you that I was able to become the hero I am today. We kept each other on the path to our future. Let me be here for you now."

For a moment, Deku didn't say anything. Despite knowing better, Uraraka couldn't help but feel a kernel of hope. Out of all of them, Iida had been Deku's first friend at UA. Years later, he'd confessed that he hadn't really had friends growing up, being quirkless and all. It was impossible, but some people were afraid that a person's quirkless nature could rub off on them or they were just plain not liked. Iida was one of the first true friendships Deku had formed. They'd spurred each other on right from the start.

A dark cloud fell over Deku as he stared down at them. "What was it that Asui said when I decided to save Kacchan? That our actions would be no different from a villain's?" That hope vanished as quickly as it had appeared. Tsu had apologized for that. She'd cried as they hugged her and began anew. Did he not remember that? Had Kyomu taken that memory away from him? "My actions aren't so different from a hero's. Society, especially hero society, is built on a foundation of lies and manipulation."

"How can you say that?" Iida demanded.

"Because I lived it - because I died for it," Deku retorted. "A person is only as good as their quirk. A hero isn't truly a hero in the eye's of society unless they sacrifice again and again, but they're just as quick to condemn a hero if they fall short of the pedestal. Even then, a hero dies, a nice memorial occurs, and then they're immediately replaced by someone more people like. It's a sham."

Iida actually flinched. "Are you saying that I'm a sham? That I'm a false hero?"

"I'm saying that society forced you to conform to their idealized version of what they want," Deku told him, "when you could be so much more."

"How?" Iida questioned. "By following you?"

Deku smiled. "I appreciate the vote of confidence, but I'm not leading the revolution." He gestured around him, but when Uraraka looked around, she didn't see anything. Dabi wasn't in view and Kurogiri was nowhere to be found, even though she knew they were around here somewhere. "This can't be done by one person. We all have a stake in this and everyone involved has their own part. Sure, I might be more recognizable and a little more polarizing, but that's the point. We've turned these hero worshippers on themselves. We have to burn this whole mess to the ground to remake it."

Uraraka was unsure if Deku thought he was capable of convincing Iida or if it even mattered, but it clearly didn't work. Iida shook his head and took a few steps back, his grip on his helmet tightening. "Can you even hear yourself? You're not making any sense. This isn't you, Izuku."

"You're right, it isn't," Deku replied. "You're smart, Tenya, so you'd be wise to remember that."

The moment Deku activated his quirk, lightning crackling around him, Uraraka knew that the time to talk was over. Iida knew he'd lost his friend as well and, after anguish flashed in his eyes, he hardened his expression and put his helmet back on. It wasn't Iida against Izuku anymore; they were no longer two old friends. This was Ingenium and whatever villain Deku had become, both of them putting everything else behind them.

Iida threw out an arm. "Uraraka, get Kota out of here!"

"You don't get to tell her what to do!" Deku shouted.

In a flash, he leaped from the slide, but instead of going for her and Kota like she'd feared, he directly attacked Iida. Dust was kicked up in the air as Iida used his quirk to dodge the attack and Uraraka used the sudden cloud to tug on Kota and push him towards the trees where they could hide. Without access to her quirk, she felt pitiful. She knew how to fight, but she wouldn't be able to come close to Deku's strength or Iida's speed and she didn't want Kota to get dragged into it.

As Deku skidded to a halt, Iida came back around in a half circle, using his momentum to kick hard. Deku was forced to bend backward, his top half nearly horizontal to the ground, as Iida's leg swiped over him and missed him by a hair. It was so close that his green hair was ruffled by the wind. However, when he popped back up, he miscalculated Iida's next move and was struck in the gut by a engine powered roundhouse kick. It didn't knock him down, but he doubled over and slid three meters back.

After coughing and spitting, Deku straightened up. Instead of looking angry at being hit though, he wore a rather pleased expression. "You've gotten faster."

"Your death made us all realize how weak we were," Iida said. "If you could fall… I could not take the idea of losing anyone else. I had to be better. I had to be stronger."

"In that case" - Deku got into a running fighting stance - "I'll stop holding back."

When he kicked off, his foot cracked the ground, forming a crater, and he shot off towards Iida like a rocket. This time, it took a lot more effort for Iida to dodge and he jumped back with only half a second to spare. It didn't give him enough time to recover, his feet having barely touched the ground when Deku spun on his right foot and kicked him hard enough to send him crashing against a slide and denting it behind repair.

Deku was already back in position when he declared, "Not fast enough." It had been a painful hit and an even worse landing, but not one to be stopped, Iida got back to his feet. "Oh, c'mon now. I don't really want to hurt you. Just back down."

"I'm not giving up on you," Iida said, although his breath was notably labored. Uraraka wouldn't be surprised if Deku hadn't broken a rib or two. He shot off again, this time to the left. Deku twisted on his feet and ran in his direction, but then Iida abruptly changed directions, using a powerful burst of his engines to launch him directly at Deku. Having used his quirk, Deku had built up too much speed to stop or change angles and took a direct hit by Iida, who used his body to slam into him. His bulky hero costume worked to his advantage, taking the brunt of the collision while Deku was knocked back hard.

This time, Deku didn't stay on his feet. He landed on his back and rolled a few times before getting back on his feet and using his hands on the ground to steady himself. When he raised his head, there was a deadness in his eyes that took Uraraka's breath away. That wasn't a good sign. It was like he wasn't there and she didn't know where he went. When he was like this, he was unpredictable, dangerous, someone else entirely. The light had gone off in his head and he was swallowed up by the dark.

When they charged at each other again, Deku leaped to the side, kicking off the side of a building, and attacked from the right with a kick. Iida managed to block it with his arm, but let out a shout when the kick broke the forearm piece of his costume. It caused him to halt, a terrible mistake which Deku took advantage of, unleashing another kick straight into Iida's back and sending him crashing front first on the ground and go prone.

Kota ripped out of Uraraka's grip and took a step forward to worriedly shout, "Ingenium!"

When Deku glanced back at them, Kota flinched back and Deku scolded, "Stay out of this," like Kota was a child butting into a simple argument between adults.

Another explosion rang in the air, this one much closer, and echoed throughout the park. Deku jerked his head around, but his brow furrowed when he couldn't see where it was coming from. Uraraka was confused as well until it suddenly hit her and her eyes flickered up to the sky. Her heart skipped a beat and jumped into her throat the second she saw Bakugou, dropping to the ground like a missile.

It was him. It was really him. Tears sprung in her eyes, grateful at his arrival to help Iida, just happy to see that he was okay and strong enough to fight. He'd looked half dead the last time she had seen him before being pulled into Kurogiri's warp gate days ago, half his face broken and his left arm immobile. Now he looked like he was capable of taking on an army and Uraraka sucked in a gasp of air, as if trying to get all the oxygen she could before his explosions used it all.

Even as he was dropping, Bakugou aimed with his right hand and forced a circle against it with his left before shooting off an AP Shot that looked strong enough to obliterate a small building. Deku's head snapped up and caught sight of him just in time to jump back and avoid getting hit by it, but the shot caused the ground to explode as well, knocking Deku off balance and hitting him with rubble. Having been propelled upward again, Bakugou used his explosions to turn himself into a fiery tornado and landed a powerful explosion on Deku right as he swung a right uppercut. The whole park glowed as if a bomb had gone off, smoke and dust clouding the area.

Uraraka brought a hand to her mouth and even Kota froze in shock. She'd seen Bakugou use that move before and it was always devastating when it hit. She had also been on the other end of a hit from Deku, although it had been to save her from crashing into the ocean waves with him. The punch hadn't connected with Bakugou, but had hit his massive explosion, causing the flames to whip around wildly. Deku couldn't have possibly dodged all of it.

Within the smoke, she saw the signs of Deku's activated quirk and then shadows created by its light. Her hand fell away as things became clearer. Bakugou was on one knee with a hand on the ground, his mask blown off and looking somewhat winded but otherwise unhurt. Meanwhile, Deku had been forced to defend himself. The force of his punch had saved him from the worst of Bakugou's explosion, but there were burns on his costume and smoke was coming from him. He was breathing heavily, but slowly lowered his arms and shakily stood up straight.

Bakugou practically snarled. "Managed to counteract most of that, did you?"

"It's an incredibly destructive move," Deku pointed out through gritted teeth, "but it's not your fastest, Kacchan."

Instead of moving to attack Bakugou stayed still, making Uraraka's heart skip a beat. What was he doing? Right when Deku took a step forward, he came to a sudden halt and doubled over, grabbing his head and letting out a pained shout. For some reason, it made Uraraka want to run to him to see if he was alright, but the feeling was misplaced and she didn't move.

"Get out of my head!" Deku shouted, squeezing his head in a way that looked painful.

Mandalay stepped into view, glaring daggers at Deku. Of course she was here. In the back of Uraraka's mind, she had realized that Kota's presence meant that she was also in town, but she'd been so focused on him that she hadn't thought about the implications. Mandalay's telepathy quirk allowed her to get directly into Deku's head. He couldn't talk back to her and she wouldn't be able to find out exactly what had happened to his mind, but maybe she could disrupt him somehow.

Tears leaked out of Kota's eyes. "Be careful!"

Obviously he was terrified. He'd lost his parents to a villain already - and the one that had saved him from the same fate with that same villain could now potentially cost him his aunt.

With Deku distracted, Bakugou got back on both feet and launched himself forward. Before he could snatch him though, Deku grabbed him by the wrist and jerked hard, turning on his heels. However, this time, Bakugou was ready for it and shot off another explosion behind him with his free hand to keep from getting thrown and another large one with the hand that Deku was holding. It blew them apart, sending Deku crashing against a large tree and Bakugou in the air. He was able to use his explosions to steady himself before dropping down to his feet.

A shadow in the alley behind him moved caught Uraraka's attention and then her eyes widened. "Behind you!"

Bakugou spun around and raised a hand at the same time when a ball of blue flames enveloped him entirely and Uraraka screamed. She found herself running forward without thinking, even though she could do very little in the fight without her quirk, but skidded to a halt when the flames cleared and Bakugou wasn't there. It was like the air in her lungs was stuck as she scanned the area. Dabi's flames were hotter than anything, but there was no way they could've incinerated someone so thoroughly, at least not that quickly.

"Hey, you Frankenshit bastard!"

Both Dabi and Uraraka looked up to see Bakugou on a fire escape. He must have used an explosion to launch himself in the air. His boots were smoking though and the soles even looked a little melted and sweat was covering his face. What they noticed the most though was that he was already aiming at Dabi.

"I don't have time for you, asshole!" Instead of shooting off one large AP Shot, Bakugou shot what looked like a hundred smaller ones. They weren't as strong, but they were impossible to dodge completely. A hiss on his face as the explosions rained down on him and everything began to pop with explosions, Dabi threw up a cover of flames in an attempt to vanish. When the flames died down, he was gone. Putting a hand on the rail, Bakugou threw himself over the fire escape and dropped to the ground, using his explosions to soften his landing. He pressed a finger to his ear and barked into what was probably a com. "Find that shit and deal with him! The warp gate villain too! We can't give them an escape route!"

With that taken care of, Bakugou returned his focus to Deku, who was half doubled over with a hand pressed to his head and a pained expression on his face. Mandalay's telepathy didn't hurt, but it was jarring, especially if she kept it up relentlessly. He already had so much going on in his head. Adding another voice to it had to be disorienting for him.

Bakugou took advantage of his mental struggle, aiming one of his gauntlets at his back, an intense expression on his face that made it look like he was ready to set the world on fire. As his palm began to glow, Uraraka ran back to grab Kota by the arm and pulled him to the playground for cover. The charged up explosion shook the whole area. She threw herself over Kota, shielding him from the heat of the flames. There was no chance of him dodging it, but Deku, still not letting go of his head, lifted his right leg and swung it in a downward kick. The powerful wind created by the kick sliced right through the explosion, parting it like waves. A tree burst into flames and it came dangerously close to the playground, hot enough to make Uraraka sweat.

"Enough!" Deku shouted before he bolted in Mandalay's direction instead of Bakugou's.

Mandalay didn't have the speed capable of getting out of the way. Kota screamed wordlessly as he scrambled out from underneath her and the slide, Uraraka clumsily following him to keep him from running into the fight. Deku snatched her by arm, but before he could do anything else, Iida came down with a strong kick, having used his recipro burst to strengthen it. The kick to Deku's side forced him to let go of Mandalay, who dropped to the ground and clung to her throat, and he let out a pained cry as he was knocked back. Without any chance to recuperate, Bakugou, having used his explosions to catch up, shot off another explosion with an outstretched hand that struck Deku and sent him flying and rolling on the ground when he landed on his back.

If there was one thing that Deku was exceptional at, it was tolerating severe pain. He had been doing it for years even before getting One for All and repeatedly breaking his bones. Uraraka would never truly be able to comprehend how much he'd suffered that first year at UA - maybe no one could - and she'd seen him so horribly hurt that it had made her want to cry, but her heart still climbed into her throat when Deku stood up again, ready to take on even more. He swiped at the blood coming out of his busted lip and glared those dead eyes.

However, Deku only took one step before coming to a sudden halt, as if he'd been frozen still. A cringing snarl slid onto his face as he lifted his head to look up. Uraraka followed his gaze until her eyes landed on Aizawa, who was standing on top of a streetlight. No wonder Deku had abruptly stopped. He didn't have access to his quirk. "Took you long enough," he said in a strained voice.

Aizawa didn't respond to the taunt, using his scarf in an attempt to bind Deku still. He managed to dodge the first one, but then had to duck and roll to avoid one of Bakugou's explosions and was caught by the wrist with Aizawa's capturing weapon. Aizawa leaped back off the streetlamp, using his weight and fall to the ground to jerk Deku up into the air when the scarf caught on the metal pole like a pulley. He had to use his momentum to swing up onto the light where Aizawa had just been, but it tied him further down, the scarf now wrapped around it.

With Deku effectively stuck and tugging on the scarf. Iida started to run to attack, but was once more deterred by Dabi, who had appeared out of nowhere. It must have been with Kurogiri's help. Uraraka hadn't seen him at all a second ago. Dabi's flames wrapped around him, blocking both him and Mandalay from the others. Aizawa had to stay on Deku to keep him from being able to use his quirk, so they would have to deal with Dabi on their own.

As Bakugou launched himself in the air for another vicious attack, a warp gate appeared next to Deku like a door. With what little tension he had with the scarf, he jumped through the gate and it snapped shut right before Bakugou to reach him, cutting the extra strong material of Aizawa's weapon in half as well.

"Fuck!" Bakugou screamed as he dropped to the ground. "He's gone again!"

But then another warp gate appeared right above Aizawa's head and Deku dropped down through it, landing on Aizawa's shoulders and using his legs and body to throw him onto the ground. With his quirk back since Aizawa had been forced to deactivate his for a moment, Deku pinned him on his stomach with one hand and tightened his grip on a knife in the other. He stabbed down, but was caught by Aizawa's weapon at the last second so the knife sliced his cheek instead of his neck. Deku rolled away, jumping through another portal and appearing again to escape the binding.

When he reappeared again, it was on the opposite side of the park away from where Iida and Mandalay were currently fighting Dabi. His flames kept attacking them from all sides, using little warp gates like windows. It looked like they were getting overwhelmed. Bakugou's eyes flickered from them to Deku and she could see him tearing himself in half. He couldn't defeat Deku and help them at the same time. He had to choose.

Aizawa pulled himself to his feet as he touched the cut on his cheek. It was right under the old scar he'd got during the USJ Incident. When he turned his gaze to Deku though, Deku actually smiled. A confused frown appeared on Aizawa's face and he was the one to freeze this time as his eyes darted side-to-side. As Deku activated his quirk even with Aizawa looking at him, he began to laugh.

"It's not so fun, is it?" Deku jeered. "Having your quirk erased."

Uraraka could not remember ever seeing Aizawa panicked before, but the warning look flashing in his eyes put her totally on edge. "The knife-"

"It's a boring old knife," Deku told him, sounding utterly pleased with the results as he gracefully spun the knife between his fingers, "but we coated it in something cooked up especially for you. Probably won't last as long as an injection, but it'll do."

The knife must have been coated with the same stuff that had blocked Uraraka and Todoroki from their quirks. With Aizawa affected now the same as her, Deku didn't have to worry about his quirk being erased.

His confidence bolstered and his quirk activated, he shot forward and Bakugou countered him. The two of them went at each other hard in close combat. They punched, blocked, kicked, and dodged in a flurry, almost like some sort of dance. Bakugou backed all of his punches with an explosion, which Deku had to block or knock away, but then had to raise a leg to block a kick that would've broken more than a few ribs had it landed. Bakugou managed to knock the knife out of his hand at least and it fell clattering on the asphalt.

Knowing that nothing could interrupt them, Uraraka tried to think of what she could do to help. The flames were proving to be tough for Iida, who couldn't get close to Dabi even with his speed. Aizawa certainly wasn't helpless without his quirk, judging from the way he jumped in to help, and neither was Uraraka. She spotted a fire hydrant nearby and then turned to Kota, who was watching Bakugou and Deku fight, pale-faced and eyes wide.

"Kota," Uraraka said, standing in his way and blocking the fight from his sight, "I need your help."

The young boy blinked. "My help? What can I do against this?"

"We need to help Mandalay, Ingenium, and Eraserhead," Uraraka explained. "Those flames are too much. They can't get close to him to take him out and Ground Zero needs help with Deku."

Even if he wouldn't admit it.

There was an obvious fear in Kota's eyes as he swung his gaze over to the secondary fight. "That villain's fire is blue. He attacked the training camp, didn't he?" After everything had calmed down and scared as he was, Kota had been the one who had helped put out the fire most before the fire department was able to reach them. With the use of his quirk, as small as it was, it was thanks to him that the fire hadn't reached any of the buildings.

"Yes, it's him," Uraraka told him. She put her hands on his shoulders. "I know you're scared and that's okay - I'm scared too - but if we can give them an opening, they can take him out for good this time."

Maybe she should've just run for the flames. All she had to do was put herself in danger to distract Deku, but when she looked at them fighting again, she wasn't sure that anything could distract him. There was so much rage and resolve in his eyes, everything in the world gone except for his goal to kill Bakugou. Only then would he feel like he was free from his past and able to take back his future with her. Besides, she didn't want to leave Kota by himself. He was safer by her since she was essentially untouchable.

She had to do everything. Help the others. Try to distract Deku. Keep Kota safe. She had to do it all, even if she was afraid without the use of her quirk. Just because she didn't have it did not mean she was no longer a hero. Her quirk didn't make her a hero. _She_ made herself one.

"What do I have to do?" Kota asked, a shaky determination in his voice.

"Can you only manipulate the water you create or any water?" Uraraka questioned.

"I started being able to control other water sources two years ago," Kota answered, though he sounded somewhat uncomfortable with it for some reason. "It took a lot of practice, but Deku said if I just kept working on it, I could unlock new abilities of my quirk…"

"Okay, that's good." Uraraka pointed a finger to an area in between both fights. "Do you see that fire hydrant?" He nodded. "Can you force the water to come out?"

An unsure look crossed Kota's face. "I can try."

"That's all I'm asking. Just get the water out and then get away from here as far as you can." Uraraka hated asking him of anything, but she needed an opening, however small of one she could get. "How close do you have to be?"

Kota thought it over for a moment and then rushed forward without answering. Uraraka hastily followed, stopping when he did. He stretched out his arms like he was trying to reach for the water and pull it out with his fingers. There was a slight rumble underneath them and Uraraka watched as the hydrant began to tremble. Sweat beaded Kota's flushed face and his hands began to tremble, but he didn't stop pushing his quirk. Maybe it was too much. She shouldn't have involved him.

But then Kota gasped, seemingly shocked with himself. "It's happening!"

The side cap on the fire hydrant popped off with a _crack_ and then water was gushing out. Kota dropped his hands and heaved out a heavy sigh. He didn't need to use his quirk for the rushing water splash over Dabi and his flames. There was so much water, smothering everything, almost immediately killing his fire.

That was when Uraraka rushed in. He must have heard her feet splashing in the water puddles and spun around in time to avoid her grabbing him. As powerful as his quirk was, the second Uraraka started in on him, using the hand-to-hand combat skills that she'd learned over the years, she could tell that he had little experience in this area of fighting, but he had to avoid using his quirk against her.

"Fucking stop it!" Dabi snapped.

"Scared I'll beat you?" Uraraka countered as she landed a blow to his gut that sent him stumbling. She had to subdue him somehow. Every time he tried to edge away from the water, she'd move to push him back into it and towards the others.

Dabi sneered. "Scared I'll have to hurt you and deal with Midoriya is more like it."

"Must suck having to hold back all the time for someone that you spent years fighting against," Uraraka said as she readied her stance again. "You take orders from him, don't you? And he's not even a real villain. He had to be forced to become one. You went to prison for your beliefs. His are fake and now you're below him."

"You're dancing on a thin line," Dabi warned coldly.

"Oh yeah?" Uraraka leaped forward to strike him again. He knocked her hand away, but he couldn't avoid her follow up punch. Flames sparked at his fingertips when she hit him. "I can't even use my quirk and I'm still beating you. Just how weak are you, huh? Especially compared to Deku. He's stronger than all those puny villains back at your base! Everyone just walks on eggshells around him. He doesn't even need you, not really. You're a second class villain at best, stuck doing whatever he tells you to do because you're afraid of him."

She didn't just toe the line; she'd leaped over it completely. Dabi's face contorted into a furious scowl that pulled on the staples and burnt skin. He jumped back and raised his arm so that flames covered it, even though the water put a dent in how much he could keep alight. Before he could shoot the fire at her though, she ducked and Iida jumped over her in an explosive burst. So worked up and focused on her, just as Deku was with Bakugou, Dabi hadn't heard Iida coming up from behind her, but she had. It hadn't been her original idea, but it worked, as Iida landed a solid kick against his chest that threw him into the side of a van.

Dabi staggered, barely staying on his feet and holding his chest. Growling at them and a glare that promised retribution, he called out, "A little help here?" and a portal appeared. He was too far for them to do anything, so all they could do was watch as Dabi stepped through the gate and vanished. Unlike Deku, he did not reappear, but Uraraka was still worried that he wasn't gone entirely. His flames were just as dangerous at a distance as they were up close.

"I have to stop Deku," Uraraka said, turning to Iida. "Maybe if I can get in the middle of their fight, get hurt or almost hurt, it'll be enough to get him to hesitate."

Iida shook his head and put a hand on her arm. "You can't just throw yourself recklessly into things!"

"It's the quickest and easiest solution," Uraraka insisted. "Deku won't purposely hurt me and every time I'm in danger he gets distracted. That'll give you and Bakugou an opening to subdue him."

But what if Deku thought that she was only trying to save Bakugou again? It would infuriate him even further. She couldn't forget how dangerous he had felt when he'd demanded answers from her. He had been so upset and angry over the idea that she had only asked Deku to take her with him in order to keep Bakugou alive. She was afraid that if she tried it again he would really snap - against Bakugou, against Iida, against her. How could she keep him appeased enough so he wouldn't break and they could beat him? The moment he lost control, like he had on that villain that had hurt her, they would all lose.

In the end, Uraraka ran, slipping out of Iida's loose grip. Both Bakugou and Deku were in bad shape. Their fight had crossed the entire area, the playground damaged and the street broken up and scorched. Bakugou shot off an explosion that Deku rolled to dodge. When he popped back up, instead of attacking, his head turned to see where the knife had fallen.

When he bolted in that direction, Bakugou shouted, "No you don't!" and launched himself forward. Just as Deku snatched the knife, Bakugou got a hold of his foot and pulled hard so that he crashed to the ground. Deku kicked out, his leg connecting with Bakugou's shins and knocking him down. It was a scramble as the two of them grappled with each other on the ground until finally, Deku had Bakugou pinned on his back on the ground, one hand strangling him as he picked up the knife with the other.

"Deku, don't!" Uraraka screamed, running to catch up with them.

"It's the only way, Ochako!" Deku exclaimed, a wild light in his eyes, sweat and blood dripping from his face. "I have to end this now! I have to kill him - for _us_!"

The knife descended down, forcing Bakugou to stop pulling at Deku's fingers around his neck to grab his wrist, stopping the tip of the knife just shy of his chest. His arms were shaking as he tried to shove the knife away, but then Deku bore down on him harder. As light twisted around his arms, signaling the activation of his quirk, Uraraka screamed again and she could hear the burst of Iida's engines as he rushed to reach them.

Everything came to an abrupt halt when a wall of water smashed into Deku and knocked him off of Bakugou. Uraraka swung her head around had caught sight of Kota, who was shaking and close to crying, but had water dripping from his outstretched hands and a tornado of water rising and twisting behind him. "Stop it!" he cried out. "Just stop it!"

Deku froze on the spot with one knee and the hand gripping the knife on the ground. His eyes were wide and bright, his mouth parted, and his eyebrows raised. The only way she could describe his expression was stunned. He looked as if he had been blown away and couldn't even think, much less move. All he could do was stare back at Kota, who was sniffling but refusing to back down.

Finally, Deku blinked. "Kota?"

Uraraka's heart skipped a beat. She couldn't have said how, but he sounded so different in that moment. Soft, gentle, scared, confused - all of it at once. He sounded like _Deku_ and even more so… Everything that had been off about him before was gone. There was an innocence about his face that reminded her of what he'd been like during their first year and all the hardness in his body was gone. And his eyes….

Those were Deku's eyes, not the eyes of the person Kyōmu had twisted him to become.

Deku blinked a few more times and smacked his head twice. When he raised his head again and opened his eyes, the light that she'd recognized flickered until it was out and just like that he was gone. It was something though. Judging from the look on Bakugou's face as he stared at Deku, no heat in his red eyes, he had seen it too. He shook his head and then his expression hardened again. The two of them caught eyes and jumped to their feet at the same time, Bakugou letting off an explosion as he did so.

Instead of counteracting it, Deku dodged it by leaping up in the air, landing some distance away. He glanced behind him at the tall building and then started to climb by making multiple leaps on the balconies. His body must have been worn down if he wasn't making it in one jump. Bakugou swore and did the same, using his explosions to get to the top. It took the fight off the ground, but the building felt even worse. There were people in there still, no doubt watching the battle in fear and shock.

"Iida, can you get Kota out of here?" Uraraka asked.

"I can't run away from a fight again," Iida protested.

"Please," Uraraka persisted. "It's what Deku would want." She could tell that he hated being put in the position of being taken out of the fight again. "If they're going to fight up there, we need to try to evacuate the building too. If Deku were to damage it in any way…" Hadn't he threatened to destroy Bakugou's apartment building during their first confrontation? Considering his fragile state of mind, Uraraka was wary to guess on what Deku was capable of right now. "Mandalay can use her telepathy to broadcast a message, but if there are people that can't get out on their own, we need your speed."

"And what are you going to do?" Iida questioned.

Uraraka turned to the building and looked up at the roof where Bakugou had landed. "Whatever I have to do to save them both and keep them from destroying each other."

It felt like she'd been running since this whole mess had started. Running to Deku, running to Bakugou, running to help the others, running away with Kota. What was she running to now? An end? She didn't know. It was hard to see. As she reached the building, she tried to call up her quirk, desperate to reach the top quickly, but no matter how much she strained, it wouldn't come. The drugs from earlier were still smothering it. How long had it been?

Reduced to being quirkless, Uraraka burst into the building and found the stairwell as people began to rush out in a flurry. Mandalay's message must have gotten to them. She was the only one running up, her legs and lungs burning as she rushed up the stairs. There was a loud rumble and the building shook, causing people to halt and scream in terror. Uraraka had to grip the railing of the stairs to keep from falling over. What if she was too late? What if she didn't make it in time because her cardio wasn't up to speed?

No, no, she'd worked on that this past year. Going on runs with Bakugou had really helped her improve both her endurance and speed. She could do this. She would reach them. She would save them.

Angry tears in her eyes, Uraraka pushed on, panting and sweating. By the time she reached the top floor, she was so out of breath that her lips felt blue. Running fifteen flights of stairs was too much even for a pro hero. She had to stop to catch her breath as much as possible, but then shoved the door open and stepped onto the roof, only to witness Bakugou and Deku collide with one another, their quirks meeting head-on. The explosion that occurred rattled the entire building and forced her to her knees. Both of them were blown back, Bakugou into the brick wall next to her and Deku to the edge.

"No!" Uraraka shrieked when she realized what would happen and darted in his direction.

Deku hit the ground and rolled right over the edge, his hand grasping at the concrete. Uraraka threw herself on the ground and snatched him by the wrist. He was heavier than her, his momentum and weight nearly dragging her completely over the edge with him, but she snagged onto the building. There was no way she could pull him up on her own, especially not with one hand, and she was already exhausted from the run up here. If she could only use her quirk, this would be nothing. He'd be lighter than air.

"You have to help me," Uraraka said through gritted teeth. "I can't pull you up."

All Deku did was stare up at her though. He looked more tired than she felt, as if he was worn down to the bone and had nothing left to give, his body limply swaying in the air. Uraraka's hand and fingers began to strain and her arm and shoulder ache as she held onto him. It felt like he was pulling her arm out of socket. Her grip on the building slipped as her nails broke against the concrete and she could feel his wrist slipping from her too. His red gloves were too slick.

"Deku, please!" Uraraka cried out.

"It's okay," Deku finally, his voice so soft. Even his face was soft. He was so tired. The tears pooling in her eyes slipped out and began to drip down on his face. "It's okay, Ochako, just let go."

"No, no, no," Uraraka pleaded. "I can't let you fall again. Please, try to pull yourself back up."

Deku didn't move to try to save himself at all though. "Listen to me, Ochako. Let go of me. If you don't, you'll fall with me and I can't have that." He swallowed, but didn't take his eyes away from hers. She could feel his body trembling. He was exhausted, afraid, and so devastatingly sad, his eyes dimmed by pain. "You have to let go."

"I don't want to," Uraraka told him, even as her grip on him began to slip.

"Then I'll do it for you," Deku said, "like I did before."

And then he reached up with his other hand to pry her fingers from his wrist and fell, just as he'd done the day he died, just as he'd done in all her nightmares in the months after.

"NO!" Uraraka scrambled to grab him again, throwing herself over the edge to reach him. She would've fallen to the ground too, so used to having her quirk to keep herself afloat, had a hand not wrapped around her ankle and stopped her fall short. She hung upside down, reaching out to Deku, who wore the calmest expression on his face that she'd seen since he had come back. He closed his eyes. She couldn't look away.

Right before he hit the ground, a warp gate appeared beneath him and Deku fell into it. The second it closed, Uraraka started screaming again and flailing. It couldn't have made it easy for the person holding onto her, but she was slowly dragged up, her fingers digging against the building like she could crawl to Deku.

"He's gone!" a voice told her from behind once she was back on the roof. "Uraraka, he's gone!"

"No, no!" Uraraka sobbed. "He can't be gone!"

Strong arms had to be wrapped around her to keep her from going back to the edge. In the back of her mind, she knew that Deku wasn't there and she couldn't get to him, but she couldn't think straight. All she could think about was the look on his face when he'd told her to let go. Accepting. Understanding. So damn sad. It was what a broken heart looked like.

"Uraraka, he's gone," the voice repeated, voice gruff and raspy. The distinct scents of nitroglycerin and smoke overwhelmed her senses. Bakugou. It was Bakugou holding her. It was happening all over again. She couldn't take it. She couldn't breathe. "You're safe. You're alive and you…" He was breathing heavily as well and his body was shaking from the effort of staying standing after what he'd put it through. "Just breathe, Uraraka."

Everything had gone so wrong. She was safe, but at what cost? She couldn't be here.

"I have to go back. I have to go with him." Uraraka struggled in Bakugou's grip and he let her go. She ran to the edge again. "Deku! Deku, please! Don't leave me! Deku!"

There was no answer though, only the echo of her screams. He was gone.

As Uraraka held her head in her hands and stumbled back, Bakugou came up from behind her. When he put a hand on her shoulder to steady her, she spun around and buried her face in his chest. She didn't care if she was sobbing so hard that it shook her entire body. She didn't care if she looked weak in front of him. He wouldn't think it was a sign of weakness.

"I can't be here," Uraraka cried into his shirt. "I can't leave him."

"Uraraka…" Bakugou clearly didn't know what to say. He probably hadn't expected her to want to stay with Deku and the villains. It wasn't that though, not entirely. Now that she'd seen the real Deku underneath all of what he'd been turned into, she was more determined than ever to fight for him. But he wasn't the only one that she had to be there for.

"Shouto." Just saying his name made her chest hurt. "I promised I wouldn't leave him. I promised that I'd keep him from being turned like Deku and now he's alone." He would be relieved. She could picture him even thanking Deku when he was told that Uraraka was out of the villains' hands. Somehow, she knew that Deku would be the one to talk to him. He would take her place, except instead of helping him keep his mind, he would only push Todoroki further down that dark path. "I left him behind… I left him with that monster."

Bakugou wrapped his arms around her and pressed his face to the top of her head. "We'll get him back."

What if it wasn't in time though? What if Todoroki was turned before they could reach him? She thought of him asking her to kill him if he gave in to the mental conditioning. What would he be like? What twisted version of him would come out? He was truly alone now, just as he'd been growing up, at the mercy of a man using him for his own means.

And all Uraraka to do was scream.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes:** I decided to do something different for the 25th chapter. I was kind of stuck on what I wanted to do, but this idea wouldn't let me go. The plan was to only write from Uraraka's and Bakugou's POV's, but I really wanted to do this. It just felt right. Like I said, I come up with a lot of this as I go. And this chapter sets up the next few chapters. I'm calling it an Interlude of sorts. A little bit of respite, except, uh, not. The only reason I was afraid to write this chapter was because I was worried people would criticize me for the POV change. But then I wanted to do this. Enjoy!

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" _It has shown me that everything is illuminated in the light of the past. It is always along the side of us...on the inside, looking out."_  
 **―** **Jonathan Safran Foer**

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Time passed strangely for Todoroki. Unlike Uraraka, he was only in one of three places and spent most of his time in the small cell. He'd never been bothered by small, confined spaces, so it wasn't the imprisonment that bothered him so much as his inability to do anything. The cell was a decent enough size to stretch out and even pace. Not that he did much walking, seeing as how he had to conserve his energy. It wasn't nearly as big as his bedroom in his apartment, but it wasn't like he had any room to complain.

He would rather be in this cell than in Uraraka's position, out in the open with the villains. Just thinking of her with Midoriya and the rest of those villains made his skin crawl.

Kyōmu's quirk took a lot out of him so that he could only use it once a day, a blessing in disguise, but it ravaged Todoroki's mind. He'd thought that he knew exhaustion. The combination of that memory altering quirk with the quirk suppression drugs and the lack of proper food had left him feeling like he wasn't even here sometimes. He spent half the time in his cell trying to piece his mind back together and the other half in and out of sleep. It wasn't a pleasant time. Unfortunately for them, he was practiced in sifting through bad memories.

The upside of having gone through what he had in his childhood was that the punishment meant very little to him. He could hear Uraraka telling him that that wasn't a good thing - that he shouldn't have felt like that - but there was nothing to be done. His father had locked him in his room sometimes if he acted up too much during training. He'd lie on his bed, staring at the ceiling, too tired to move. It felt strangely reminiscent of this. He didn't know if that was a good thing or not. Probably not, considering how much Kyōmu was tapping into his memories of his father.

One time, he'd spent an entire hour thinking that his dad had locked him in here. He'd fully believed it, thinking of how much of a horrible person the man was. He'd only snapped out of it because he'd heard that dream villain whispering about Uraraka to the villain that Midoriya had eventually killed. Hearing her name had reminded him of where he was and what he was doing here. He'd latched onto it and refused to let it go until his mind was at peace again. Whenever he started to question everything, he focused on her and it brought him back.

 _You were supposed to protect her. Some hero you are. Endeavor is probably humiliated._

And he knew what his father did to those that humiliated him. He got rid of them, tossed them aside like trash, pretend they never existed.

No, he was working on being better. He'd spent the past five years trying to become the father that Todoroki and the others could accept. It would never make up for what he'd done. It would never change the past. He had to remember that things were different. They weren't great, but they were better. Todoroki wasn't a forgiving person by nature, but he wasn't hateful either. He wasn't filled with rage.

 _Aren't you angry though? Don't you deserve to be?_ that same voice whispered in the back of his mind. _Think of what he did to you - to all of you. He stole your childhood, your family, your life away from you. He forced your mother to have you. Does she love you? Did she even want you? He created you and then he tore you apart to make what he wanted and burned away the rest. Why shouldn't you be furious? Why shouldn't you want to destroy him the way he ruined you? It's practically your birthright._

Todoroki doubled over on the cot and held his hands in his head. "No, no, no."

His stomach rolled, like he was going to throw up. He hated when his mind got like this, splintered into two where he couldn't tell the difference between his thoughts and Kyōmu's. He didn't know who to trust when he had always had at least himself to trust. Now he didn't even have that. It was easier when Uraraka was here, but Midoriya had taken her away after that last session and she hadn't returned. Without her to steer his straight, he couldn't focus on what was real and what wasn't.

Maybe they were _his_ thoughts though. Maybe they'd been there all along, buried under layers of denial and hurt, and they'd only just now been unearthed. It wasn't fair that he'd had to do that. He shouldn't have been forced to compartmentalize his feelings or dissociate from the pain just so that he could survive. It had been akin to torture. No child should've gone through that. No mother should've screamed and fought to keep her children safe. That fury, that pain, that grief - it could've been his. Had been. Was. Wasn't. It wasn't his.

"This isn't you," Todoroki growled under his breath. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to get rid of the hurt in his chest that took his breath away. "This isn't what you want."

But he did. He wanted his father to burn as much as he had. No, more. He deserved worse than that.

 _He hurt your mom so much that she couldn't even stand the sight of you. He took your mother's love away from you. He never gave you even a chance to have your own life._

No, his mother loved him. They'd...made amends. Yes, he remembered that now. He went to visit her and they talked and she apologized to him. She'd cried, her tears so cold. After the Sports Festival where he… What had Uraraka told him that he'd done? He'd used the fire half of his quirk to defeat Midoriya but not Bakugou? Yes, that was it. He wrote letters to her in the hospital. And she was out now, wasn't she? He'd gotten her out after he had graduated. He'd saved her…

Hours of this could've passed. He felt lost in his own mind, fighting to make sense of things. This was real. That was fake. Wasn't it? His father had started to change. No, he hadn't. It had been a lie, but he'd escaped. He had a relationship with Natsuo and Fuyumi now. But did they really know him? Could they ever understand? Maybe they even resented him, hated what he reminded them of. They might smile and laugh with him, but was it for him or was it only to please their mom? They thought they had suffered? No, they were weak. They wouldn't have been able to handle what he'd gone through. No, no, he was glad that they hadn't.

"Things are better, things are better, things are better," Todoroki mumbled frantically.

His father's glaring blue eyes flashed in his mind, blurry through tears. The horrified look in his mother's grey eyes that scared him. Scarred and rough hands changing the bandages over the left side of his face. Fuyumi turning away in shame. Natsuo walking out the door. They left him alone with a monster. He'd just been a kid.

Todoroki smacked himself in the head a few times. "Snap out of it!"

He needed Uraraka, which made him feel white hot with guilt. He shouldn't have to rely on her, not when she had so much going on right now. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to let all the tension out of his body, but it was hard with how sore he was from holding everything inside. He was supposed to be protecting her and yet here he was wishing that she was here to still his mind. He wasn't her responsibility. He'd promised to protect her. If he got out of here alive, Bakugou was going to kill him and he didn't think he'd fight back much.

 _We both failed her and Izuku._ At least he knew that was his own thought.

Ever since Midoriya had taken her - minutes, hours, a day ago - Todoroki had been nothing but a frayed wire ready to short-circuit and burn a house down. Where was she? Was she safe? Was she _alive_? She had to be. He had to believe Midoriya that he'd never hurt her. He wanted to believe that, but it was hard. Those bruises on her wrists from that first confrontation came to mind. He hadn't even known what he'd done and that had been when he had been deeply entrenched in his dream for their future. Now that the truth was out and that illusion was beginning to show cracks, Todoroki was worried about what might slip through.

When the door to the room creaked open, Todoroki jerked his head out of his hands, his mouth open already forming Uraraka's name, when he stopped cold and clamped his mouth shut. It wasn't Uraraka. His eyes went cold and his lips pressed into a thin line as he watched Dabi slink into the room, looking much worse for wear than he had before he'd left. He waved a dismissive hand to relieve Compress of his guard duties. A look was passed between them - an irritable grimace from Dabi and impossible to describe from Compress - as the latter stood up and the former took his place in the wooden chair.

"Be good, Todoroki," Compress said in a voice far too cheerful.

Todoroki didn't respond and Dabi stayed silent as he massaged his forehead with his fingers. He watched as the masked villain slipped out of the room and then dragged his eyes over to his new guard. Dabi had a hand against the side of his face while he idly held his left side with the other. Although he wasn't squirming uncomfortably in the chair, he was sitting stiffly. And it was hard to tell with all those burn scars on his face, especially the ones under his eyes, but it looked like a black eye was forming around his right along with some dried blood that he'd not washed off entirely.

"You look like shit," Todoroki said.

Dabi's bored eyes flickered over to him. "At least I've had a shower in the past week."

Had it been that long since he'd been kidnapped? It was possible. He thought that he'd perhaps been here for six days, but he couldn't be for sure. Eight tops, that was all he knew. He should've been able to keep track by his sessions going under Kyōmu's quirk, but they were starting to bleed together. The only ones that truly stood out were the ones that Uraraka had been there for and that had been the second and the last one. Midoriya had been to the second one as well. He'd not seen much of him unless he was bringing or taking Uraraka from the cells.

Was he avoiding him? And for what? Shame? Anger? Excitement? It was hard to say when Midoriya didn't seem to know how he felt half the time.

Todoroki eyed Dabi, trying to distance his mind from himself and also get more information. He'd gone with Midoriya to wherever they'd taken Uraraka. Maybe he had information on her too that would put him at ease. Her not being here had to be a good thing, but he didn't know how or why. "Did things not go according to plan?"

Dabi rolled his eyes. "Wouldn't you like to know. Must suck being stuck in that cage."

Bakugou would've snapped, but Todoroki ignored the jab. He was especially talented at ignoring things. "You're injured and look displeased." If he thought about something outside of him, he could usually bring his mind back into focus. This was as good as he could get for now, although he would have much preferred a friend over a villain. He was sorely lacking on that front at the moment. "I'm guessing something went wrong."

Instead of flinching or glaring in irritation, Dabi leaned back and stretched in the chair. "Your little friend is a lot tougher than she looks. Clever too." He stretched his neck, using the hand on his head to crack it. "I can see why Midoriya and that explosive little shit are so fond of her."

"Uraraka did that to you?" Despite his usual ability to remain impassive, Todoroki knew that he wasn't at his best and he let his interest show too much. If Dabi had been involved in a fight with Uraraka, there was a possibility that she was hurt or worse. No, Midoriya wouldn't let her get hurt. He wouldn't let Dabi hurt her. What had happened for things to go so far south that she and Dabi had gotten into it?

"Don't worry," Dabi replied dismissively. "She's safe - probably safer than all of us"

Todoroki narrowed his eyes. "Safe?"

"For now at least," Dabi added with a dry laugh. "Things are changing."

"What are you talking about?" Todoroki demanded, feeling on edge. His heart thumped faster in his chest like a warning. Things were changing? That didn't sound good. Did something happen to her to change things? Had something happened to Midoriya?

"I think Midoriya would rather tell you himself," Dabi said as he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Some guard he was, but it wasn't like Todoroki hadn't already tried every trick in the book to break out of here. He laid a hand over his chest. "What's worse than a broken heart?"

"A broken mind," Todoroki said in a hollow voice.

Dabi opened his eyes and tapped his temple. "Now you're getting it. Not much longer now before he's completely cracked and then no one will be safe." When he grinned, it pulled at the staples on his face, making it look more like a grimace than a smile. "Not even her. Midoriya is a ticking time bomb. I wouldn't want to be any of you when time runs out."

"What do you mean?" Todoroki demanded, trying to sound stronger than he felt.

"Think of Midoriya like a tamed wolf," Dabi explained. "He might listen most of the time, but underneath that he's ready to hunt and kill and bite the hand that feeds him." He shook his head. "You all thought she was safe - even he did - but I can guarantee you that she'll be the first one that gets hurt when all of this is over."

No, Todoroki wouldn't allow it. He refused to let it happen. He'd… He'd pretend to have fallen under Kyōmu's quirk control. He'd act like he was on the villain's side. If it meant gaining Midoriya's trust again, he'd do it. But he had to protect her - for Midoriya, for Bakugou, for _her_. He hadn't done nearly enough after Midoriya's death. She always told him that he did exactly what she'd needed, but it had never felt like he'd done any good. In the end, Bakugou had probably done more for her than him, although he'd received plenty of texts from him during those dark days when Uraraka had been at her worst.

He couldn't fail again. It'd drive him mad. Losing Midoriya had been hard enough. He'd thought that he knew what grief was after his childhood - he'd thought that losing someone wouldn't hurt as much after being torn away from his family - but he'd been wrong. It had devastated him in a way that he still couldn't comprehend. And seeing Midoriya come back to life but so very wrong… It was like a nightmare that would never end and there was very little he could do to shield himself from how much it had affected him, especially not now with all his walls getting torn down.

"You must be exhausted," Dabi said abruptly, folding his hands together on his chest. "You know, it'd be easier on you if you just gave in."

"That's not going to happen," Todoroki said flatly.

"I heard Midoriya lasted out two months before he completely buckled." Dabi shrugged his shoulders. "Do you really think you can manage any better? You're on week one and you're shaking."

Todoroki glanced down at his bouncing foot and stilled it. He hadn't even realized that he was doing it, but it must have begun to bounce when he'd started getting worked up over thoughts of Midoriya's death. Anger burned in his chest, making him want to use his ice quirk to lash out, but he knew that if he tried calling it up, nothing would happen. They'd upped his dosage of the quirk suppressant drug after a little had come back to him earlier than expected and he'd nearly frozen a villain's arm. He burned through it quicker than Uraraka had. Of course, it made him feel woozy, which he thought might have affected the use of Kyōmu's quirk on him. A blessing or a curse, he couldn't be sure.

But still. Two _months_. It had taken a full two months before Midoriya had succumbed to the mental torture and started to turn into what he was now. To be honest, Todoroki was dreading what he would be like at the two weeks mark. He knew that he was strong, but he also knew his history. His desire to become a hero to be better than his father could easily go the other way. If not for people like his mother and All Might to influence him as well, his path could have taken a very different turn.

One that a small part of him was now itching to travel.

"The quicker you accept it, the more you give in, the less it will hurt," Dabi continued in an idle tone. "It probably feels like someone is drilling in your head. Stop fighting and you won't be in pain anymore. Everything will make sense and you feel better. You'll be stronger than ever before instead of this weak, shaky mess."

Todoroki stared at the villain, his mouth parted and his dirty hair hanging limply in his eyes. "You've been under the quirk too."

"Ah, ha." Dabi let out a huff of breath that sounded like a half-hearted attempt at another laugh. "Just to get my head straight. Prison is bound to mess you up a little and I'd been in there for three years thanks to you. It does things to you, gets you in your own head and confuses things. Start thinking things that you wouldn't if you weren't locked up in a tiny cell without access to your quirk." He made another half-assed laugh. "I needed a refresher to remind me what I'm doing here."

"You're being manipulated, the same as me," Todoroki emphasized, standing up on legs that were too wobbly for his liking. He didn't think that he could connect with a villain as far off mentally as Dabi, but if he could maybe get under his skin, he might find some sort of advantage. That was more Uraraka's style, intuitive as she was, or even Midoriya's, whose empathy (had) stretched for miles.

Dabi snorted. "Sure, that's what villains do. We all have our own goals. Midoriya is playing along, but even he has ulterior motives or we wouldn't be in this position right now."

"If you know that, then why go along with it?" Todoroki asked. "Why follow him?"

"Have you seen that power?" Dabi waved a hand to the corner of the room where they had tried to clean and bleach the blood of the villain that Midoriya had killed. The stain was still there though. As disturbing as it had been to watch Midoriya devolve like that, Todoroki couldn't say that he was sorry. He'd preferred not to kill villains from the start, but one of the first things that Kyōmu had tampered with was his emotions. It had been hard not to show Uraraka how _pleased_ he'd been that Midoriya had done away with that villain. He'd felt guilty afterward, but he couldn't ignore that he'd felt it.

Dabi was right: for the brief minute that Todoroki had accepted the change - or perhaps thoughts that had always been in him and just buried - despite the bleeding wound on his arm, the exhaustion, and his stuttering heart over almost losing Uraraka, he'd felt _great_. Like he'd found a missing piece in his life.

And things made sense.

Which didn't make sense at all, as he'd come to realize later.

"You know, high and mighty as you can be, we're not so different," Dabi sighed, sounding half asleep as he shifted on the chair and grimaced. Clearly being here wasn't that big of a deal to him, but someone had to be here. They couldn't afford another incident and Ikeda no longer seemed to be trusted even if she was best suited to watch prisoners with her quirk.

Todoroki scoffed and dropped back down onto the cot. As tired as he was, he wasn't going to fall into thinking that. "Is that why you convinced Midoriya to spare me? Because we're so alike?"

"Nah," Dabi said, "I figured it'd piss off your old man." He let out a slow sigh. "The Number One Hero's son gets kidnapped so close to his retirement right in front of him? Any faith in him has been shaken thanks to what we did. Some people are demanding that he step down. It's rather nice."

Dabi's voice was utterly careless, as if everything that had happened was mildly entertaining but of no real importance. His facial expression and body language even said that he was bored, but his eyes were far too sharp and it felt like an act. If he was trying to go for completely impassive, he was failing. Todoroki would know, seeing as how he was struggling with that as well. He wasn't used to his emotions being on display so much. He wasn't used to being easily read.

"But I was supposed to be killed," Todoroki insisted.

Dabi shrugged his shoulders. "You're worth more alive than dead. Midoriya knew that. He didn't really want to kill you. The kid's still soft."

"I wouldn't call what he's done 'soft' while under Kyōmu's quirk," Todoroki said.

"Call it 'romantic' then," Dabi replied with a snort. "He did it for her. And they say romance is dead."

He was good at detouring the conversation. Under normal circumstances, Todoroki would've been able to direct it back, but his mind kept following those detours like he couldn't help himself. It didn't help that he was worried about Uraraka and thinking about Deku made him uncomfortable. It was only a matter of time before he was in the same position as Deku if he didn't get out of here. Instead of committing atrocities out of love though, it would be out of rage. It felt like that anger was building and the moment it started to overflow…

 _I'm not going to break,_ Todoroki swore, clenching his hands into fists.

 _Is it really breaking if this is what you wanted all along?_ another voice asked. He hesitated to answer that.

Dabi sighed. "Give it up, Todoroki. No one beats that quirk. It'll either get you eventually or kill you if you fight it hard enough." If he had to die, then so be it. He would rather die than be turned against his friends and everything that he believed. (Surely, Midoriya must have thought the same thing though and he'd fallen.) "You can fight it all you want, but I think we both know that you're not the hero that Midoriya was. Kyōmu sure knew how to tap into his pain, but he doesn't have your rage."

Afraid to question him any further, Todoroki went silent. Dabi was right. He wasn't nearly the hero that Midoriya had been and that burned him too. Despite his close friendship with him, their rivalry had never ended. It hadn't been as aggressive as the one between him and Bakugou, but one created on a mutual foundation of respect. Their hero rankings had switched often and always been close, but Todoroki had known that Midoriya was close to taking the number one ranking away from Endeavor. It was only a matter of months, maybe weeks.

And then he'd died.

After that, Todoroki had faltered. His ranking stalled, only to go up one spot when Deku had officially been taken out of the ranking. Bakugou had suffered the same fate. They were their own worst enemies. Neither one of them were comfortable enough with each other to talk about it and so he'd opened up to Uraraka. He'd felt defeated. On one hand, he knew that he could become more - he knew that he could be better - yet he didn't want to. It felt wrong to move up when the one person who pushed him to be his very best was gone. It was like he'd hit a wall and struggled to find the desire to climb it. He couldn't justify going any higher after such a failure.

When his ranking had started to fall, he hadn't cared. It had only been a few spaces and had nothing to do with his ability as a hero. No, he'd saved more people and taken down more villains than ever before. At the end of the day, it was just a popularity contest, one that had started to make him sick. Endeavor had the skills to be the number one hero, but he didn't deserve it. So many of those heroes up there he knew were selfish trash on the inside and he couldn't stand to stand by them.

The door swung open. Midoriya dragged himself inside, looking haunted and worn to the bone, with Mizumi following behind him anxiously. Over his time in the cells, Todoroki had gotten familiar with the villains that took turns guarding the cells. Mizumi didn't come often, if only because the effects of Kyoma's quirk seemed to have a negative effect on hers and she actively avoided Dabi.

Indeed, when caught sight of Dabi in the corner, her nose wrinkled and she turned to Midoriya again. "You need to rest. After what you went through, I'd even suggest talking to Ikeda-"

"So you can put me under?" Midoriya questioned in a blank tone. "Are you that scared?"

Mizumi flushed. "We're not scared; we're _concerned_."

Midoriya rolled his eyes. "I don't need your quirk to sniff out that lie."

Although she stiffened in apprehension, Mizumi said, "After what you went through-"

"I'm fine."

"-Maybe you should see Kyōmu," Mizumi continued.

"I said I'm fine!" Midoriya snapped, rounding on her so quick that she actually jumped back as if she was afraid that he'd snatch her by the throat. He did no such thing, didn't even lift his or clench hands, but his raised voice was enough to startle her. "You're all so worried about me, but I'm thinking clearer than ever. I know what has to be done. I know what I did was the right choice. I'm hurt, not confused."

Playing with her fingers nervously in a way that reminded him of Uraraka, Mizumi teetered on her feet. "I just think that it would do you some good. After all that you went through and now this-"

"Oh, do you think I need some readjustment?" Midoriya tapped his head. "Some fine tuning? Think perhaps I'm not dedicated to this cause when I've got more blood on my hands than half of you combined!" She flinched, but then he turned away from her and ran his fingers through his messy hair. "Go ahead and run along to Kyōmu with your concerns. I did what I had to do for us. She was holding me back. I had to let go."

Todoroki's heart skipped a beat, but he remained expressionless. Let go? What did that mean?

"I know what she means to you," Mizumi said delicately.

"You don't know half of what she means to me," Midoriya retorted, but there was more bark than bite in his words. He was exhausted. He didn't have the energy to explain things to someone he clearly didn't care about right now. No, the second Midoriya raised his eyes and connected with his, Todoroki knew that the only one he was going to attempt to explain himself to was him. No one else mattered. Which meant that Uraraka…

"What did you do to her?" Todoroki demanded.

Midoriya didn't look away from him, but didn't respond to his question either. "You two, get out."

"You sure you're good, boss?" Dabi asked.

"I don't even know what you're doing here," Midoriya snapped, ripping his gaze away to glare at the villain seated behind him.

Dabi held out his hands. "You told me to check on him."

"Ah." Midoriya blinked a few times and then shook his head. "You're right. I forgot." He waved a dismissive hand and looked back to the cells. "Well, you've done your job. Now go get checked out. You took a few hits and we don't need you half-assing your job because of a broken rib or two."

"So thoughtful," Dabi hummed flatly as he stood up. Mizumi hesitated, but then Dabi pointed at the door and she glowered and skulked out of the room without any further arguing. After mockingly saluting Todoroki, Dabi took his leave as well and disappeared, leaving Todoroki and Midoriya alone together for the first time since…

Since before he died.

It made him feel sick and yearning at the same time. He'd missed Midoriya a lot.

"What did you do?" Todoroki repeated.

"I did what you wanted me to do." Midoriya grabbed the chair that Dabi had been sitting in moments ago and dragged it over to the front of the cell. He all but collapsed in it and hunched over with his elbows on his knees, folded up as if to protect himself. "I let her go."

The air around them crackled with tension. "Uraraka…"

"She's with Kacchan and the others," Midoriya sighed, rubbing his temples with a thumb and middle finger. "She's safe and unharmed. It's only a matter of time before she'll be able to use her quirk again, if not already."

Todoroki didn't know what to say. Uraraka was with the heroes. She was free from the villain's clutches. A tidal wave of relief washed over him, so strong that it forced a shuddering breath out of him. She was safe. She'd been able to escape from this nightmare. He had been terrified that Midoriya would force her to go under Kyōmu's quirk if she didn't give into the fantasy that he'd concocted. Seeing her anywhere near the villain had made his skin crawl and want to panic.

Uraraka was safe. She was free.

And he was alone, left without an anchor to keep his mind from drifting.

"You're scared, aren't you?" Midoriya asked. "Now that she's gone."

He was, but he didn't want to admit it. Acknowledging his own fears had never been easy. They were impossible to ignore here when so many had been brought to the forefront of his mind. Could he make it alone? Could he survive with his mind intact? He had to or die trying. He had prepared himself to make this sacrifice, especially if Uraraka managed to escape. Then again, he was positive that Midoriya had thought the same thing in his position. He'd been alone too.

Todoroki swallowed, but his mouth was dry, making it a struggle. "Why? After everything you did…"

"I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was doing what was best - for her, for us." Midoriya didn't look up as he spoke in a quiet and pained voice. Judging from the state of his villain costume and the way he held himself, he was physically injured, but it was the emotional hurt that was taking its toll on him. "I wanted to keep her safe. I wanted her to be happy. She had to know how much I still love her - how much I still need her. She's always been that light in the dark, you know? From the very beginning."

"Yeah, she is," Todoroki breathed out, thinking back on those long nights spent together after Midoriya's death. He'd get off a seventy-two-hour shift and know that he couldn't bear the idea of going back to his apartment. It wasn't empty, not with his mother there, but he couldn't do it. He hated the idea of relying on someone, especially Uraraka, who needed his support, but he knew that he could go over to hers (and Deku's) apartment and there would be a pot of tea ready for him no matter the time. They could spend hours sitting on her fire escape, talking or not, the tea gone cold, until his mind was quiet enough for him to go home and sleep.

Then he thought of her here. Her screams dragging him back as Kyōmu dug through his mind. Her eyes bright and shiny, fear and determination mixing together, as she promised to keep him from losing his mind. She'd guide him, the lighthouse to his boat in a dark, stormy ocean. She was out of his reach though and for good reason. He had to make his own way home or sink, as Midoriya had done.

"I just wanted us to be together again," Midoriya said. "I wanted her to see that we could still have our dream. It was different, but it was better. She'd see. I'd be able to make her understand."

It was hard watching Midoriya's heart break right in front of him, but he didn't look away. He owed his friend that much after letting him down.

"But I couldn't…" Midoriya hid his face in his gloved hands. "I thought she'd be safer here with me - I thought she'd be happy - but I was being selfish. I was so foolish. How could she be happy when I put her on the shelf like she was a doll?" He shook his head again as if trying to get rid of the grief and disappointment. "We couldn't have a home here, not when I made this her prison."

"She didn't think of it like that," Todoroki told him. "She wanted to be here for you."

Midoriya pulled his face out of his hands, a film of tears covering his bright green eyes. "I locked her in here and left her to nearly get killed. I just thought that she'd get over it or accept it in time, but who was I kidding? The Ochako I love would never do that. The only way she would have was if I let Kyōmu use his quirk on her and I knew that I couldn't do that."

"Am I so different?" Todoroki asked, trying not to feel like he'd been stabbed in the back.

"Yes, you are," Midoriya replied firmly. "I couldn't let him do that to her and I knew… I knew that I'd get desperate for her to be happy. I knew I'd start thinking that it was a good idea. He'd help her understand in a way that I kept failing. But I couldn't let her fall with me, not like that."

Todoroki sat up, his back stiff. "But it's okay for me?"

"You don't understand, Shouto," Midoriya shot back. "We're different. She couldn't have handled it. That kind of understanding - mind-opening realizations - comes at a cost."

"She's stronger than you think," Todoroki told him. She was one of the strongest people he knew. Even Bakugou had admitted that in many ways she was stronger than him. While they had faltered, she had risen in the ranks. She had kept their group together when so many of them had started to fall away from each other. At first, they'd told themselves that they were doing it for her sake, only to realize months later that she'd been supporting them.

"Don't you get it?" Midoriya said, almost pleading with him to be understood. Uraraka had told him that the villains had become like a family for him, but he knew that he was different. "I know she's strong. Gods, she's stronger in ways that I can only imagine. I don't know how I would've managed had our positions been switched. I see that now. My death changed so much. Kyōmu's quirk has nothing to do with strength though. That's why it'll get you in the end. You'll accept it. You'll see that he's right, but Ochako…"

Todoroki could feel his struggle as he wrestled with something he'd had trouble accepting. "Izuku…"

"It would have killed her, Shoto," Midoriya said, "or her mind would've completely broken and I couldn't let that happen. She would have _died_." He dropped his hands into his lap. "Kyōmu's quirk doesn't work on everyone. Some people can't take it, like their minds won't accept the truth." No, it wouldn't accept the lies. All of this was built on a lie. Why couldn't he see that when he was so close to it? "We're different. We're more accepting."

No, they were more vulnerable. It was why Todoroki made such an easy target, especially for Kyōmu. There wasn't much that had to be changed about his past for him to take a different path. He'd already been twisted and hurt enough for his mind to latch onto the changes made in his memories. And Midoriya - the boy who had always dreamed of becoming a hero, the one who had inspired so many of them, the hero that Todoroki had known would shine brighter than them all - had also suffered at the hands of those that should've helped him. He too had realized that the hero society and the way people viewed quirks was flawed and Kyōmu had been able to take advantage of that. They had weaknesses that could make them doubt everything and believe something else.

"Did Ochako every tell you why she applied for U.A.?" Midoriya asked. Todoroki shook his head. She'd not. By the time they had become better friends in school, so much had changed since the beginning. Even his reasoning had evolved, although he was struggling to remember it now. The bitterness felt back then so raw and real, as if Kyōmu had reopened a scar somehow and made it bleed anew. "It was about money." He smiled softly. "You wouldn't think of that looking at the hero she's become now. But it wasn't about that at the same time. It was about taking care of her parents. It was about helping people that struggled to help themselves and still smiled and did all they could for others."

That wasn't something that Kyōmu could easily change. Maybe he could turn it into greed, but despite her silliness over things like money and expenses, she was never petty over it. Even as she'd risen in the ranks, she never tried to live above her means, living more modestly than she had to with her salary. If he had managed to turn her like that, she wouldn't have been the Uraraka that Midoriya had loved. He loved the hero, not the villain. Changing her, if she had survived, would've destroyed them.

"You had to let her go to save her," Todoroki affirmed gently.

Midoriya laughed weakly. "All this time I thought that I was doing what was best for her, but I wasn't thinking about what she wanted or needed. I could only think about myself and it wasn't fair to her. I thought Kacchan was trying to steal her from me, but I was the one pushing her away." He looked down at his hands. "I scared her. How could she possibly love me if she was afraid of me?"

"She's not scared of you; she's scared for you," Todoroki said. Midoriya cast him a doubtful look that was so pitiful that it reminded him of a wounded puppy. "And she does love you, but… You were gone. Like it or not, you were dead to all of us and it was either move on or give up. I almost did and even Bakugou struggled. She could have easily done the same. Would you have truly wanted that for her?"

"No," Midoriya admitted, "I never wanted her to be miserable."

"And yet you're angry over the idea that she might have moved on with her life?" Todoroki questioned coldly. The irritation was misplaced, a phantom feeling from going under that quirk. Locked in a cell with only his old friend to keep him company, he had to lash out or let it consume him. And he was angry with the way Midoriya had treated Uraraka - angry over the position he'd put her in when she had just started to live her life for herself again. "That's selfish and petty. If you truly loved her, you'd see that."

Midoriya frowned. "I _do_ love her. That's why I let her go. I can't give her what she needs like this, not right now, not until this is over. When we're rebuilding it, things will be better. I'm sure of it."

"What makes you think that what you want will match up with what she needs?" Todoroki asked. "What will you do if she doesn't want the same things as you?"

"Oh what?" Midoriya reared back in the chair like Todoroki had slapped him. "You think Kacchan is better for her?"

"This has nothing to do with Bakugou and everything to do with you," Todoroki countered. " Yeah, he's an ass and I used to look at him and think of all the awful things that made up my father. All I know though is that he's still willing to give his life to save you even though you want to take his." He stared at Midoriya hard as he glared back at him. "He's not fighting you over Uraraka. He's fighting you for _you_."

"Are you all on his side now?" Midoriya scoffed. "I die and suddenly Kacchan is the best?"

"You were the best out of all of us and he knew that!" Todoroki snapped. "We all did. Why do you think he's fighting you so much now? Because he wants Uraraka? He wants you back."

Midoriya jumped to his feet. "Don't pretend like he cares about me! He tortured me for years. I'm surprised that I had the strength to go to U.A. after all that he did."

"What do you want him to do? Go back in time and fix it? He can't do that, the same as my father can't."

"If he's so willing to sacrifice himself for me, I wish he'd go ahead and do it. I want him to _die_."

The vehemence was so strong in Midoriya's voice that Todoroki had to close his eyes to steady himself. He felt that rage deep in his bones. He understood where he was coming from, even though the feeling was misplaced. The Midoriya of before didn't hold onto hate like this. He was better than Todoroki, who had to be careful not to drown in hate. He hadn't felt like this since high school.

"You feel it too, don't you?" When Todoroki opened his eyes, he found Midoriya sitting back down, inches away from the cell bars and an eager expression on his face. It was almost...innocent. "That pain, the betrayal, the anger. He should've protected you, loved you, guided you. Instead, he abused his power and strength. He used you. He hurt you. And no one did anything. You think no one knew what he was like behind closed doors?"

"No," Todoroki croaked, suddenly choking on the memories. He remembered people looking at him askance, other heroes and Endeavor's sidekicks, especially after his mother had thrown that boiling water on his face. How could no one even question it? The dark circles under his eyes, the soreness of his limbs, the bandages that had to be replaced. He'd been a kid. He could only do so much, but his father had expected so much more from him. Fuyumi and Natsuo never suffered under their father's torment. They could look away. He'd never been given that chance.

 _Get your shit together, Todoroki,_ a voice that sounded suspiciously like Bakugou snarled in his mind. _You're better than this. You're stronger than this. Don't let this be your defeat. What would Uraraka say?_

That he'd learned acceptance, if not forgiveness. That he had learned to use that pain in order to be better, not worse. He was a hero. It had been his father's dream, but he'd made it his own. He wouldn't let Kyomu, Midoriya, or any of these villains turn into a nightmare. He didn't care what Midoriya and Dabi said: he would not give into the mental conditioning. He wouldn't become a villain. He wouldn't become something for others to fear.

Not like Endeavor had been.

Todoroki held his head in his hands again, flinching a little when he felt Midoriya lay a soothing hand on his shoulder. It wasn't like Uraraka, but he didn't shrug it away either. In the beginning, it had been Midoriya who had slowly helped him adjust to physical contact again. He didn't know whether accepting it from him now was a good thing. On one hand, it reminded him of all the good that had happened in his life; on the other hand, it made him want to trust Midoriya more.

"It won't be like that here, I promise," Midoriya told him earnestly, his tone burning with excitement. "We'll have each other's backs, like we used. I missed that. They're all fine here and sometimes they can be great, but they aren't you or Iida. They aren't family. We can be that again, a real one, like you should've had, like I could've had with Kacchan had he not been so cruel."

"Izuku, we can't…" But why couldn't they be? If anyone understood what he had gone through, it was Midoriya. He loved his friends, but they would never know the real depth of what he'd gone through, just because he'd had the misfortune of being born with the right quirk. He sucked in a breath and sat up straight. "It's not real. It's all a lie and you know it. Otherwise, you wouldn't have let Uraraka out of the League's clutches. Somewhere in your mind, you know things aren't right here."

"Maybe," Midoriya admitted as he sat up slowly, "but things aren't right out there either and you know _that_."

Todoroki had nothing to say to that. Because Midoriya was right, but he didn't know how to fix it. He didn't even know how to fix himself right now. He felt like he was missing a few pieces to a puzzle. Stuck in this cell, without access to his quirk, he could do very little himself. Having to rely on others frustrated him, but if there was one thing that he'd learned while at U.A., it was that accepting help wasn't bad. Heroes had each other's backs all the time and he had to trust that they would do their jobs.

 _You better get_ your _shit together, Bakugou,_ he thought as he and Midoriya sized each other up. Because like it or not, if he fell victim to the quirk, Midoriya wouldn't be his only problem. They had a history too and he had a bad feeling that Kyomu would use that as well. His mind felt like a minefield and he didn't know when he'd blow.


	26. Chapter 26

Notes: This is a quiet chapter, I would say. Uraraka has gone through a veritable shit ton and has not been given the time to process any of it. Does she do that in this chapter? Uh, not really, but I felt like a few things were important to bring up considering her time in captivity. Maybe this chapter didn't get as emotional as I'd planned in my head, but when you write as it comes to you - I don't know - things take certain turns. The next one definitely will. At any rate, wow, Bakugou and Uraraka are finally given a small chance to talk after like sixteen chapters. Has it really been that long? Yeesh.

* * *

 _"A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom."_  
 **\- Bob Dylan**

* * *

The first thing they did was take Uraraka to the hospital. She had assured them that she was unharmed, but they had wanted to be careful, especially considering that she'd been in the not-so-pleasant care of the villains for the past week. Beside her arm hurting from when she'd been dangling off the side of the building holding onto Deku, her body was fine. She was fine. When Bakugou spotted the restraint marks on her wrist that she'd gotten while Todoroki had gone under Kyomu's quirk, it had looked like he had to visibly hold himself back from reacting. He didn't say anything about them though.

Not that she could explain to him where they had come from. Uraraka didn't know if she had the strength to talk about what had happened.

By the time the first responders arrived at the scene, Bakugou and Uraraka had descended from building that Deku had dropped from. The paramedics looked her over, but Aizawa had told them to take her. Protesting had been the first time she spoke since the rooftop, but one flat look from him and she'd gone silent. She had panicked, sitting in the back of the ambulance and looking around, until she connected eyes with Bakugou. Seeing as how he was more injured than her, he huffed and clambered inside, saying that he'd go with her to the hospital to save Aizawa the trouble of bothering him.

The ride to the hospital had been silent. Neither one of them had known what to say. It hadn't even been two weeks since she had asked Deku to take her with him in order to spare Bakugou's life, but it had felt like a lifetime as well. So much had happened since then, likely for the both of them, and that time stretched between them like a canyon that she was terrified to cross. She wanted to reach over and take his hand - to comfort him, as she knew that he was beating himself up, and herself, because she was afraid - but she didn't. She was afraid of how he would receive the gesture.

Funny how she was with the heroes now and she'd never been more terrified in her life.

Once at the hospital, she and Bakugou were separated. So out of it, she could only remember reaching for him so that he would stay with her before the curtain was pulled around to give her privacy. When she had asked about him, the nurses had pointed out that Ground Zero's injuries were much more extensive than hers and he needed a closer look. And so Uraraka sat silently on the bed as she was examined, knowing full well that she was just fine. Her shoulder and arm hurt and the marks on her wrists burned a little, but her ankle was fine.

She was sore and so exhausted that she didn't even know if she could manage to cry. Whenever the nurses asked her questions, she mumbled one-worded answers, unable to truly focus as the clinical white surroundings of the hospital bore down on her. Half the time, she wasn't even aware of what they were saying, not when Deku's words were echoing in her head.

" _You have to let me go."_

Uraraka clenched her hands into fists on top of her thighs. She should've been stronger. She should have held onto him and never let him go. Deku had been the one to peel her fingers off of his hand. He had been to one to let her go, not the other way around, and it hurt worse than she could imagine. She had sworn that she wouldn't let him fall again, but she had done just that. It happened just like in all her nightmares, the ones she would sweep away come morning and pretend that she never had them.

Why had he done that after everything he'd done to get her back?

"Uravity?" a doctor asked. "Or...would you rather go by Miss Uraraka?"

"I'm not here as a hero," Uraraka responded, her stomach twisting uncomfortably. She had been taken by the villains because she was Deku's Ochako. She'd thought she was acting in the hero capacity, but maybe she'd been wrong this whole time.

She could have done so much more, but the truth was that she didn't feel like a hero now. She'd failed Deku, but even worse, she'd broken her promise to Todoroki. She wanted to lash out, but there was only the doctor standing in front of her, wearing a patient expression on her face that made Uraraka want to scream. She needed to be discharged. She needed to get out of here so she could explain what was going on and then do something about it.

"I just have one more question for you," the doctor said.

 _Get it over with them,_ Uraraka thought as she raised her eyes to the doctor. She was holding a clipboard tightly to her chest, but what she noticed the most was that delicate look on her face. It immediately made Uraraka tense up.

"Did anything...happen to you during your captivity?" the doctor asked.

Uraraka snorted, too worn down to hide how done she was with this whole thing. "Besides my imprisonment, witnessing the man I loved go into rages that prompted him to commit murder, a villain trying to strangle me to death, and watching one of my closest friends get tortured? No, it was a blast."

The doctor cleared her throat. "I meant, did anyone harm you inappropriately?" She gestured towards Uraraka's wrists. The bruises from where Deku had gripped her too tightly the first day of his return had just faded away before her capture. "The binding marks on your wrist suggest that you were tied down."

The moment realization struck her, Uraraka's face flooded red. "No! No, nothing like that happened."

"Don't feel like you have to protect anyone," the doctor continued hastily. "It's not a mark against you as a hero if anything did happen." Uraraka couldn't even respond to that. She had never once in her life had something like this suggested to her. Any unwanted advances made towards her had been dealt with immediately. "I was made aware of your...captor's infatuation with you and so I need to make sure-"

"Deku would never do something like that!" Uraraka protested furiously, jumping to her feet. "He would've gotten rid of anyone that tried. He never forced himself on me. I can't believe you'd even think that."

Her mortification quickly turned into rage and all she could see was red. How dare anyone suggest such a thing? Maybe Kyomu had twisted Deku's love for her into more of an obsession, but he could never have manipulated him so much that he was capable of that. She'd gotten scared when he'd first kissed her, but not because she was afraid he would take more than she wanted to give. She had known that he would pull back. She had known that he wouldn't hurt her like that. It disgusted him too much.

No, he wouldn't do something like that.

He just murdered people, broke villains out of prison, and attacked his friends. That was it.

"I'm sorry," the doctor said, a truly apologetic expression on her face. "I didn't mean to upset you. It was something that I had to ask considering your wounds and the circumstances."

"I…" The fight fled from Uraraka as quickly as it had appeared and she sank back on the bed. "No, you're just doing your job. I shouldn't have…"

The doctor laid a hand on her shoulder. "You're under an incredible amount of stress. I would be more concerned if you didn't react at all." She pulled her hand back to write a few notes on her clipboard. "You have one more person that would like to speak to you before I can discharge you."

Uraraka tried not to sigh. This was only the beginning. There would so many people that she would need to speak with before she could finally rest. When was the last time she slept? Had it been when Deku had given her that last dose of the quirk inhibitor drug? That hadn't even been a proper sleep since it had been drug-induced. So much had happened since then. She was not only worn down physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. She didn't know how much more she could handle before she broke down, but she didn't have the time or luxury of getting a break.

The doctor slipped through the curtain, replaced by someone that Uraraka honestly hadn't expected to visit her, making her sit up straight out of habit. "Recovery Girl." She furrowed her brow. "I'm not hurt enough to need use of your quirk. I hope you didn't waste your time coming here. Ground Zero, Mandalay, and Eraserhead were the ones that were hurt."

"I've already seen to their wounds, so no need to fret about them," Recovery Girl told her with a faint smile as she pulled a chair over to sit next to the bed. "I was just with Ground Zero. He's very worried over you and it made me realize that we've been neglecting a few serious things."

Uraraka folded her hands in her lap. "I'm fine honestly - at least as much as I can be."

"No, you're not," Recovery Girl said firmly yet gently at the same time, "and you don't have to be." She laid a hand over top Uraraka's. The gesture was genuine enough to bring tears to Uraraka's eyes, but she tried to hold them at bay. "No one expects you to be fine with everything that's happened. No one expects you to be constantly strong."

Uraraka's hands turned into fists. "I _should_ be."

"No, because then you would be heartless," Recovery Girl pointed out. "You're doing it again, aren't you? Acting like you have to take care of everyone, can never show your grief, and like everything is your fault. He said that was what you did when Midoriya died. You can't do that again."

"That's not…" Uraraka swallowed thickly. It was exactly what she had done. Recovery Girl might not have seen her then, but Bakugou had. He must have mentioned his concerns that she was falling back into the old habit. While she was frustrated with him for saying anything to someone else, she couldn't say that he was wrong. She could easily point out that he was doing the same thing - pushing himself far past his limit to his own detriment and closing in on himself - but likely it was already known.

Recovery Girl sighed and pulled her cane into her lap. "My quirk focuses so much on physical wounds and the body that I often forget the other side. Mental care is an important part of healthcare that is so often neglected in heroes. They see such awful things and jump headfirst into travesties to save the day, but we shouldn't expect them to remain unaffected."

It was unfortunately true. Uraraka could count the number of times she'd seen mental healthcare professional on two hands. Considering all of what she'd gone through when she had been a U.A. student, it should have been much more than that. Her boss had forced her to see someone after Deku's death before returning to work two weeks later. She'd said just enough to get a pass to come back. She had to work. The idea of being grounded would have made her feel so much worse about failing to save Deku. Still, in all likelihood, she should have gone to a series of appointments to get into a better headspace.

She knew for a fact that neither Bakugou nor Todoroki had gone to see or talk to someone. Either their pride couldn't handle it or they were certain that they didn't need it. Mostly, she thought it was their guilt that hindered them from seeking out help. It was humiliating to admit, especially as a pro-hero.

"You've been through so much and, while everyone has been concerned about your safety, it's easy to put your mental health on the backburner," Recovery Girl continued. "I have suffered loss as well. There have been times when the damage was too severe for even my quirk to help. I've seen people I care about die." It was difficult to imagine such because of how powerful her quirk was, but even she had tasted failure before. It should not have been comforting, but it was, knowing that she wasn't alone. "But I've never had to watch those people come back to life as someone very different set on destroying all the things they once loved. Uraraka, that is something no one should go through. I can't even begin to imagine what it was like when you were taken."

There was a moment when Uraraka couldn't get any words out. They all felt lodged in her constricted throat, refusing to come out. Was it because she was afraid or something else? Ashamed? Embarrassed?

"You can't keep all that in," Recovery Girl told her. "It's not healthy and it will only hinder you in the end."

"I'm not going to," Uraraka managed to mumble. "I'll have to explain what happened this past week a hundred times to so many people."

Recovery Girl fixed her with a serious look. "That's not what I mean and you know it. You can tell what happened a hundred times without ever mentioning what it meant to you." Uraraka turned her face away to look at the white wall behind the bed. It meant everything to her. "Like it or not, but you will never be the same after this, just as you weren't after Midoriya's death. It will change who you are - it will shape you into someone you never expected - it will make you a different person and hero. You can't keep going on like it didn't - not again."

Uraraka tilted her head upward and closed her eyes. "How? How do I do that?" A mirthless laugh started to tumble out of her before it turned into a short choking sob. She stopped it cold by biting her lip. "I don't have time for that. I don't have time for healing or recovery. Deku won't stop until he's stopped and Shouto…" She shook her head, pushing away the tears, and opened her eyes. She didn't have time to cry. "My well-being will have to wait until this is over."

 _Or I'm dead._ Best not to say that out loud if she was trying to convince Recovery Girl that she wasn't one step away from having a breakdown. It'd be nice if she wasn't afraid of that being the case.

"Once this is over - and it _will_ be over - I'm going to suggest that your agency put you on leave and not let you return to full capacity until a medical professional clears you for active duty," Recovery Girl said, not sounding apologetic in the slightest.

It felt as if Uraraka had been punched in the gut as she stared at the older hero. "My agency?" How long had it been since she'd been at work? Did she even have a job? What about her bills? Such stupid, normal things and she had totally forgotten about all of them. What did they matter now that Deku was back as a villain? Now that Todoroki's very being hung in a delicate balance? Now that Bakugou was a target? What did any of that matter? "You can't… I need that. It's who I am. I'm a hero."

Was she though? All this failing to save people was making her triple guess herself.

"And you always be a hero, Uravity," Recovery Girl said as she stood up, "but if you do not take care of yourself, you will crash and burn regardless of how much you can float." She wasn't much taller standing up as when she was sitting in the chair, but her height did nothing to take away from her strength and authority. "Maybe, if we had taken the time to take better care of Midoriya - of Todoroki and Bakugou - they would not have been the targets of such a malicious villain who can turn people against their loved ones."

She didn't even know half of the truth. It wasn't just his loved ones that Deku had been turned against; it was like he was against the whole world. He wanted to burn all of hero society to the ground. He wanted to change the way that people looked at quirks. He wanted to destroy everything that he'd once believed in. It was a nightmare that Uraraka felt like she couldn't escape.

"I don't know what to do," Uraraka admitted hoarsely.

"You take a step forward and then another," Recovery Girl told her. "That's all you can do some days."

It wasn't nearly enough to help her, but she was right in that there was nothing she could do right now. She'd probably spend the next few days in debriefings, giving descriptions, writing and talking about details of her kidnapping. There was a lot of information in her head, but she was so exhausted that she was worried it wouldn't come out straight. She felt like she could both sleep for days and never sleep again.

"Thank you," Uraraka said, unable to think of the right words for this moment.

"I don't want any thanks until I see that you're taking care of yourself." Recovery Girl turned back to face her, one hand on the curtain. "I'm serious about this. If you're not careful, you are going to get yourself hurt or, even worse, put other people at risk. You're in the thick of this and I can't expect you to come out of this unscathed, but this kind of trauma can lead to reckless behavior and decisions that won't just affect yourself."

Uraraka bit her lip and then nodded, feeling properly scolded. When Recovery Girl vanished behind the curtain, a lonely feeling threatened to swallow Uraraka whole. She knew that what she had told her and warned about was true. She could feel herself breaking down, piece by piece, as more pressure was weighed down on her shoulders. It had been difficult enough when tasked with the goal to save Deku and bring him back to the side of the heroes. Now she had to worry about Todoroki as well? It was hard to think straight when she was so emotional, much less stressed out.

A part of her was angry that she could let herself get this emotional, afraid that people would think she was just because of her love for Deku or being a woman. As if no one else involved had a high emotional stake in this. Would someone accuse Bakugou of getting over-emotional over this? Because he was. Had he been thinking straight the other day? He certainly hadn't been the night that Deku had attacked Kaminari. He had been out of control and foolish, allowing himself to get caught and nearly killed. He'd been more brutal today, but filled with more precision as well judging from how he'd worked with the other pros.

She bet Aizawa had said something to him, also hence why he had done the press conference with him. He was the best option to keep a level head. Maybe he was just a U.A. teacher, but he had been theirs. Deku probably recognized the significance as well once he got over how much Bakugou had infuriated him. It wouldn't have surprised her if Iida or Kirishima had talked to him too. Someone needed to get through that stubborn head of his, especially when she knew that he thought all of this was his fault.

The curtain was pulled back once more and, lo and behold, it was the man himself.

A tired smile twitched onto Uraraka's face as Bakugou stared her down with an unreadable expression. She was entirely too grateful to see him, but she could hear Deku's voice bouncing around in her head. All that pain, all that rage, all that grief - all of it pointing directly at Bakugou. It wasn't him. It wasn't Deku. It wasn't Bakugou. Yet she couldn't simply forget it either. Kyomu had used him as a focal point to bring out the hate that would twist Deku into something else for a reason.

"Come to tell me off as well?" Uraraka asked.

Bakugou shook his head. "Nah, I figure Recovery Girl either got through to you or she didn't. Nothing that I say is going to change your mind." He'd be surprised how much he influenced her. It had been like that from the very beginning. She hadn't wanted to just be strong like Deku. It had been Bakugou too - and Todoroki and Momo. All of them had helped shape her into the hero she was today. She just hadn't been strong enough. "I'm here to escort you out of here. You've got the all clear to go and, well, you know what comes next."

She was going to have a lot of explaining to do. That was what came next. She wasn't looking forward to it. There was likely to be a hundred questions at least and she didn't even know where to begin. Did she start with Kyomu and his quirk? With Deku and his mental state? What was happening to Todoroki? Their goals, as loose as they were? She'd been with them for days and still couldn't figure out everything. She had overheard too much, but not enough that it made sense. There didn't seem to be a set goal in mind besides chaos.

"What about you? Are you…?" Uraraka lifted a hand to him, but then dropped it back onto the bed when he didn't step closer or reach out in return. He was closing himself off again. It hurt more than she wanted to admit. This was what Deku would've wanted him to do, right? What he wanted her to do? For them to pull away from each other, for them to keep apart, a safe distance from one another.

Bakugou must have caught on to her sudden insecurity and she watched him loosen his shoulders and take a deep breath. It was impossible for him to get rid of all the tension in his body, but he forced as much out as he could and took a step toward her. He wasn't in her space, but he let the curtain fall back into place so that it was just them, if only for a moment.

"I'm fine," he mumbled, his gaze dropping down to her hand. "Recovery Girl took care of the worse off wounds."

Indeed he didn't look too bad. He was stripped of most of his hero costume, which had been damaged anyways, down to his baggy pants, boots, and black tank top. The bandages and band-aids that covered him made her think of the aftermath of his and Deku's huge fight after the provisional license exam in their first year. Both of them had looked worse for wear, but it should have been much worse considering the damage that they'd caused. She remembered going out to look at Ground Beta the next day and being shocked by what she saw. It wasn't unlike what the playground had looked like after their fight earlier.

The carnage they could incur just by fighting each other was massive and horrific.

Deku knew that. He also knew that Bakugou had to play by a set of rules while he didn't. Maybe Bakugou didn't see himself as holding back, but he would have to unless he wanted to cause as collateral damage and endanger as many innocent lives as Deku. They couldn't afford to hold back anymore, definitely not if Kyomu managed to turn Todoroki to their side. He'd held himself back when fighting Deku so that he wouldn't cause as much destruction. She doubted he would be so considerate of his power if he was turned.

"How are you feeling?" Uraraka asked carefully.

Bakugou ran a hand through his hair and let out a huff. "Like I'm the world's worst hero. Deku's got a real talent at making me feel like I've been dragged through the mud." He stilled, like he was just now realizing who he was talking to and how insensitive his comment had come off, but Uraraka didn't tell him off. It was unfiltered honesty and she could appreciate that more than anything right now. She'd been swimming in lies since being taken, fighting to break the surface to find the truth

Tears pricked at Uraraka's eyes again. "Everything is so muddy right now."

There was nothing he could say that would make her feel better and he knew that. All he could do was look down at her while she refrained from crying again. She couldn't afford to waste any energy on that. Later, when she was by herself and could finally lay down, she'd cry her heart out. She'd held so much in while being held captive, even with a few outbursts, that she felt filled to the brim with unchecked emotions.

On the flip side, there was so much he could say. There were a hundred things that she wanted to say and another hundred that she felt but couldn't put into words, neither of which came out. All her thoughts sat on the tip of her tongue as she sat in front of him. He wouldn't shame her for being afraid and he wouldn't scoff at her devastation, but he couldn't understand all of it. The pathetic truth was that, after all that Deku had said and as much as she had missed him, she felt somewhat awkward in front of Bakugou now and she didn't know why.

"Uraraka…" His voice was low, rough, her name scraped out of him. It was desperate.

It was enough to force the tears out of her eyes.

"I don't even know how I'm supposed to explain what happened," Uraraka cried, bending over and hiding her hands in her face. She curled in on herself protectively. She knew that Bakugou wouldn't scoff at her for getting emotional, but she was embarrassed. She didn't want him to see her like this. She hadn't been this bad since right after Deku's death and she'd hid herself away from everyone. She'd cried in front of Bakugou and Todoroki, but the only time they had seen her truly break down had been right after Deku had gone under the water.

She could add this week onto it. Todoroki had seen her screaming and crying while he was being tortured and Bakugou again on the rooftop.

"It was… It was surreal, like some sort of weird nightmare."

It didn't help that parts of it were foggy due to being injected with that quirk inhibitor drug multiple times. Her quirk should be coming back to her any minute now. It would be a powerful relief when she could use it again, one she knew would make her cry all over again. She had never had to imagine her life without it. Gods, she hadn't even asked Todoroki how he was taking not being able to use his quirk. He'd gone from one of the most powerful heroes to all but helpless.

That was what the whole situation made her feel like now. Weak. Powerless. Useless. As relieved as she would be to have her quirk returned to her, she would still feel all those things.

Bakugou peeling Uraraka's hands away from her face stopped her cold, causing her to hiccup and lift her head up to look at him. His attention wasn't on her face but on her wrists as he held them between a finger and his thumb. He was careful not to touch the raw skin. His grip was surprisingly gentle and delicate, so warm and soothing that it made her want to pull away. She didn't deserve this from him.

"He swore that you would be safe with him," Bakugou grumbled in a raspy growl. "I don't know why I believed him after all the shit he pulled. Maybe I just wanted to hope that he wasn't lying about something."

"I think he honestly believed I was," Uraraka replied. She wiped the tears from her cheeks with her free hand. "It wasn't Deku, if that's what you're worried about."

She had only been afraid of Deku once and that had been after he had seen Bakugou's press conference on the news. Even when he had kissed her that first time and she'd panicked, she hadn't been scared. She had to believe that he wouldn't hurt her or she would have fallen into despair. As a hero, she couldn't allow herself to do that in order to do her job. As Ochako, she couldn't in order to save them.

Bakugou's red eyes narrowed like a missile locking onto its target. "And that?" he asked, pointing at her neck.

Uraraka's hand flew to cover it up. Truth be told, she'd forgotten about the bruises on her neck, even though it had only been a few days ago. They hadn't disappeared yet, turning into a light purple and yellow color. She hadn't seen her reflection in a while to know if they still held the shape of the hands that had been wrapped around her throat. No wonder the doctor had asked her that awful question about Deku. She might not have been injured badly, but she looked like she had been through hell.

"Like you said, I wasn't as safe as he thought I was," Uraraka told him, her hand drifting away. "There was a villain there with a grudge against both you and me." Bakugou frowned. It wouldn't be the first time that someone held a grudge against him, but to take it out on her clearly pissed him off. "We put him away and Deku broke him out, but he had a score to settle. He thought this was a good opportunity."

"Stupid bastard," Bakugou snarled. There was so much fire in his voice, but his grip on her wrist remained soft. "I'll kill that asshole."

"Too late," Uraraka replied with a sad, weak smile. "Deku beat you to it. He…" She took a breath. "It was awful. I've never seen someone react so _violently_. He was entirely unhinged."

"But he never hurt you?"

Uraraka shook her head. "He cleaned and bandaged me up. He wouldn't even let me walk on my sprained ankle."

"Sweet, considerate Deku." Bakugou snorted, letting go of her wrist. There wasn't a single drop of bitterness in his tone, not like Deku would've expected. It just...was. He'd known that Deku was a thoughtful and caring person. If anything, he sounded wounded that he was still capable of being so hand-in-hand with capable of murdering villains. There was something worse about him retaining parts of his old self along with this new version. "What about Todoroki?"

Hearing his name almost stopped Uraraka's heart. It took everything in her to keep from trembling and breaking down again. She couldn't look at Bakugou, the shame eating away at her. She'd left him. It hadn't been her choice and he had wanted her to escape if given the chance, but it still cut her to the bone. "He...he wasn't so lucky. Deku never touched him. None of the villains were allowed to hurt us, except for… He didn't consider it hurting. He thinks that he's doing Shouto a favor."

He was _lonely_. The villains had done what they could to become a makeshift found family for him, even the three members of the original League that had fought him the most, but it wasn't the same, not when he knew that they were wary of him on some level and didn't fully trust him. It was for a good reason too since he didn't seem to mind erasing them if they got in his way or displeased him. He'd tried to fill that void with Uraraka, but it hadn't worked entirely since she couldn't be on his side. If Todoroki were to be turned, things would be different. He'd have an old friend and a true ally.

"You said that you'd promised to keep him from being turned." Bakugou was trying to remain calm, but she could sense his frustration. It was one thing trying to bring back Deku; it was another to know that he'd let Todoroki fall victim to the same trap. He hadn't - it wasn't his fault - but she was smart enough to know that he wouldn't believe her no matter what she said, mostly because she felt the same way. "You know what happened to Deku to turn him this way?"

"Know it?" Anger flared in Uraraka's chest again and she latched onto it. She would take anything to keep that spark alive in her so that she didn't collapse. "I _saw_ it, Bakugou. I saw what they did to him and who did it. That…that _fucking monster_." She was shaking again, at least not from the grief. Bakugou put a hand on her shoulder, but it didn't stop her. The urge to rip the hospital bed sheets to shreds or throw the pillows across the room came to mind. She was so angry and hurt. "I kept asking to see Shouto. I was so worried and scared that he was dead. It was… It was so much _worse_ than we imagined. Deku had me watch as Shouto was mentally tortured so I'd know how serious they were. And he keeps going through it every day and I can't… I'm not…"

"Breathe, Uraraka," Bakugou said evenly, his voice drifting into her ears like he was far away. "You're no good if you get lost."

It wasn't a cruel comment by any means; it was just what she needed to focus. He was right. Recovery Girl was right. She was going to lose it if she kept trying to bottle this all up. Uraraka sucked in a gasp of air and then slowed down to take steadier breaths. Finally, when she felt like she had a handle on herself again, she peered up at Bakugou and her heart skipped a beat. He was trying to go for impassive, but couldn't quite manage it, not with that fiery determination and anger in his eyes that she knew so well. She wouldn't have been surprised if his hand on her shoulder heated up, but he kept his quirk down.

"Seeing him like that - in so much pain, so weak, so frightened, so needy…" Uraraka took a few more steady breaths. This time, her heart didn't start to go erratic and the tears didn't burn her eyes. "It was horrific. It made me sick to my stomach. Knowing that Deku went through that as well, completely alone while we thought he was dead almost killed me."

Bakugou didn't respond at first. She could tell that he was thinking about what she said, trying to both process it and figure out what to say at the same time. He could tell her that they were going to get him back - he could tell her that they weren't going to let Todoroki get turned as Deku had been - but the fact was that they both knew those words were mere platitudes that they could no longer stomach. In the beginning, they had been a relief and a sign of comfort. Now she just wanted the cold hard truth.

And that truth was that there was a possibility that they wouldn't save Todoroki in time and that Deku would get exactly what he wanted and have a true partner-in-crime. Uraraka couldn't give that to him, not with the way things were. He could at least have someone by his side with Todoroki. She knew, as sick as it made her feel, that he would become a stronger villain with that. It wouldn't be the same, but she had a feeling that his dream didn't solely focus on a life with her, not if it was still him deep down. He'd want others to rise with him - and he wanted Bakugou to fall.

Maybe Deku thought that he would have to complete his goals with the League first before he could focus on her. It made her think of his role as a hero. Becoming number one and the next symbol of peace had been all he could focus on sometimes. Being a second priority to that was something that she'd had to accept, as that goal had been created before he met her. They were heroes though. That was what they did. They put their job and the lives of others before their own. Apparently, that was something villains did as well.

"How long?" Bakugou asked flatly.

"I don't know," Uraraka admitted with a helpless shrug. "Weeks, days, months? I don't think it matters how strong he is. This isn't something you can just say no to. I'll explain it as best as I can, but the quirk that was used on them - is still being used on Deku - warps a person's view reality."

Bakugou scratched his chin and muttered to himself, "Maybe we should call in Illusion then. Combine her and Shinso's quirks..."

Uraraka perked up. "Shinso is here too?"

"You've got a lot of catching up to do." Bakugou held out a hand and Uraraka took it, allowing him to pull her to her feet even though she didn't necessarily need the help. She didn't let go right away, not until his eyes flickered down and she pulled her hand back like she'd been scalded. He was much smoother, pocketing both hands like he planned to do it all along. Maybe he had. "C'mon, let's get this over with. I wish you could get some rest, but there's a lot of questions that need answering and you're our only lead. We don't have the time for piddling around."

"We never do as heroes, do we?" Uraraka sighed.

"Not since we decided it'd be a good idea to attend U.A. at fifteen," Bakugou added. He pushed the curtain aside so that she could walk through and started down the hallway at her side. She wasn't sure where they were going, but judging from the way he didn't immediately follow the exit signs, he did. "The authorities figured it would be best to interview you altogether, although they'll probably record it too for evidence. That's what they've been doing to save time. So you'll be facing a lovely panel of judges made up of police and pro heroes. They created a special task force for this and even brought in the top five pros."

"Not all of them," Uraraka said quietly. Bakugou glanced at her sharply. "The ranks for the first half of the year came up two weeks ago. Shouto was fifth."

Bakugou halted in front of the elevator, staring at the metal doors as if he thought that they'd open to reveal Todoroki himself. It was hard for her to picture Bakugou's reaction to Todoroki's kidnapping as well. He had been so focused on defeating Deku and keeping her safe that he pushed everything else away. It was obvious now to her that he was furious and humiliated. He always shut off when he got like that, as if the two emotions competing to take precedence broke him a little.

When he punched the button to go up instead of down, it was vicious enough to almost break it. "He better keep his head on straight."

After all the years of knowing him, Uraraka knew that it wasn't a threat to Todoroki or an insult to his strength. It was concern. Bakugou, try as he might hide it, was worried and he was probably too tired from the fight and being healed by Recovery Girl to keep it under wraps, so he transformed it into anger instead. Unfortunately for him, she had become fluent in Bakugou. She also knew not to bring it up. They both had stuff to deal with on their own. It didn't make Uraraka feel any less guilty for wanting to keep things from him though, things that had happened that felt like they were just hers and Deku's.

Once in the elevator, Uraraka leaned back against the wall and sighed as she rubbed her face. She didn't care if Bakugou was watching her and analyzing her every move. This whole day was a mess and it was far from over. She had to do one more thing after this extensive interview before she could rest. He might not like it, but he wouldn't argue with her either. The authorities weren't the only ones that deserved answers. She owed Todoroki that much to do what he couldn't.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes:** I honestly didn't realize that it had been almost three weeks since I updated this. I thought it had only been a week? Wow, I can't believe I lost track of time that much. Oops. Anyway, this is a slow chapter - I'll admit it - but try as I might, I couldn't work to where I could just skip it. The reactions of the heroes and police felt too important. I didn't do an entire recap at least. Using the sprint bot on discord, I was able to whip this up really quick! I'm lowkey proud. I've skimmed through it once for editing, but I'm sure I missed quite a lot. Uh, I didn't get to the see that I originally planned on writing, but I still brought in some new characters.

* * *

After being held captive by a group of villains and her ex-boyfriend for a little over a week, Uraraka felt as if shouldn't have been intimidated by anything. However, when she walked into the conference room for her interview and caught sight of just how many people were in there, she hesitated. She had known that there would be a mixture of both police and heroes, but facing them all at once suddenly felt daunting.

What had happened to her this past week had been one of the most difficult and upsetting times of her life on a deeply intimate level. How would they judge her for it? The last thing she felt like doing was telling a bunch of strangers that Deku had kissed her. Leaving anything out wasn't on the table though. She had to be upfront about everything just in case it helped. She'd watched too many films where someone left out a piece of information out of embarrassment or because they thought it was unimportant, only for it to bite them in the butt.

This wasn't a movie or a tv show where the good guys defeated the bad guys and things were neatly wrapped up in the end and they would all go back to living their normal lives. To be honest, nothing had been normal since Deku had sacrificed himself for her almost a year ago, but she'd been close to rebuilding a new normal. If they somehow won, if they got Deku back, if they saved Todoroki, how long would it take her to do that again?

Honestly, Uraraka wasn't sure she had the strength. Bakugou would scoff and said she did if he knew what she was thinking. He had a lot more faith in her abilities. Having been at Deku's mercy and unable to help Todoroki had shaken her resolve in herself though. That had probably been a part of Kyōmu's plan in breaking her. If Deku wouldn't allow him to use his quirk on her, then he'd get in her head another way.

She couldn't deny that it had worked.

"Uraraka?"

Blinking out of her thoughts, she glanced up at Bakugou, who was staring down at her with what looked like an annoyed look on his face. She knew it wasn't the case. That was a look that said he would tell off every single of these assholes if she wasn't ready to do this.

Taking a deep breath, Uraraka nodded her head, letting him know that she was okay, and pushed on into the room. She took the seat that had her facing everyone. When Bakugou moved to sit down against the wall where he would no doubt glower at everyone, she blurted, "Wait," and he hesitated. His eyes flickered from her to the empty chair next to her and he walked back over to sit in it without saying a word. He didn't even question her need. If he thought her weak for needing support, he didn't voice it, only leaning back and folding his arms across his chest that told everyone that he dared them to fight him on this.

Luckily, no one did. Maybe a few people glanced at each other curiously, but most people didn't even blink. Whatever it took to help her explain her story.

"I, um…" Uraraka dropped her hands into her lap and began to wring them nervously under the table. "I'm not quite sure where you want me to start."

"Wherever you're most comfortable," a man she recognized as Detective Tsukauchi told her. She hadn't seen him since Deku's funeral, but she'd heard that he had been promoted. It made sense that he was here. They had to be sure that she was telling the truth. She wondered if his quirk, Human Lie Detector, would work if she had gone under Kyōmu's quirk. Deku truly believed what he had told him and tricked him into thinking it was reality. It wouldn't be lies to him. "Would you like a glass of water or…?"

Uraraka shook her head. "No, I'm fine, thank you."

Water would've probably been a good idea, considering how dry her mouth would get when discussing certain topics, but for some reason, she hesitated on asking for anything. She couldn't have said why. Maybe she didn't want to add to the problem more than she already felt like she had. Once she started, it would be easier, but with everyone staring and waiting for her to say something, she felt herself closing up. Couldn't she have maybe been interviewed by one or two people and had them record it for the others to review?

When he noticed that she was struggling, Tsukauchi offered, "Why don't you start right after you were taken through the warp gate?"

The decision having been made for her, relief washed over Uraraka and she visibly relaxed in the chair. She hadn't even noticed how tense she had become. "Of course." It made sense. Talk about things in chronological order. If anything of interest came up, they could pause her story and ask questions. "The first person I saw was Kurogiri, but we already know of his involvement. The weird thing was how...fond he seemed to be of Deku and vice versa. They joked around with one another. He said that they had become something of a family. It's all part of this illusion that they built up for Deku."

At her side, Bakugou scoffed, but he didn't say anything. She shrugged her shoulders. Some of the heroes looked troubled while many of the police officers appeared confused. She knew that it sounded incredibly weird. How could the villains be anything other than villains? It was easy for pro heroes to forget that they were people too, some of whom were capable of living normal lives outside of the crimes they committed. They had friends and friends, ate breakfast and dinner, slept like the rest of them. They could do every day things like have people in their life close enough to be like family.

But that was what Deku needed. He'd created a family in the friends he had come to cherish upon attending UA. He had made sure to keep in contact with everyone, even if it was just an email once a month. It was important to him - they all were. He admitted that he hadn't had many friends before UA, most of them not wanting anything to do with a quirkless kid. The person he'd considered himself closest with had been Bakugou - and well, look where that had gotten them. Close had nothing to do with actual friendliness.

It was hard to see past his cheery smile and innate warmth, but Deku had been a pretty lonely kid. For most of his childhood, after he was left in the dust when everyone's quirks manifested, it had just been him and his mom. He never dismissed all that she had done for him and how close they were, but Uraraka had been able to read between the lines that not even Deku seemed to notice. His friends from UA meant the world to him because he'd never had any friends like that before. Of course they became like a second family. He thrived on having close bonds with other people.

The League, in their bid to keep the illusion up, had become just that for him. She had a feeling that, despite their wariness of him and the sometimes fickle nature of the quirk he was under, that even they had come to accept him. It was hard not to when it came to Deku. Even with Kyōmu's quirk messing with his head, it was still him on some level. He liked the same things, craved the same contact, pulled people in with his natural gravity. It pained her to remember feeling his warmth and how his smile was still the same, a little anxious and full of hope.

"Shouto started to wake up, but before he could fully return to consciousness, one of the villains came up from behind and injected him with something," Uraraka continued, touching her neck to show the injection site. "I was as well right after. It's some kind of quirk inhibiting drug. I don't know how it's created, but it was the same stuff that was on the knife Deku attacked Aizawa with."

Aizawa, who was sitting in the background, leaned forward in his chair. "How long does the effect last?"

"I don't know," Uraraka admitted. She brought her right hand out from underneath the table and touched the microphone recording her words with all five of her fingers. It didn't lift. She had a feeling that it would come back soon. The relief when her quirk returned to her would shake her. "A day? Sometimes more, sometimes less? I think it depends on the quirk, but I'm not sure. I know they had to dose Shouto more than me, but that might have been because of the stress he was under."

At the end of the table, Endeavor glared at her, although she didn't think he was necessarily angry with her. It just seemed to be his permanent expression. His eyes narrowed behind his mask of flames when they connected eyes and she looked away. It was not going to be easy for either of them when she went into more detail about what Shouto was going through. Everyone's dirty laundry was getting thrown in the streets. As the recently ranked number five hero, Shouto was already more adored by fans than his father. She couldn't help but wonder what the public would say if they knew what the number one hero had put his family through.

What would the public say if they knew how Bakugou had treated Deku for so long?

Uraraka turned her gaze back to her former homeroom teacher. "Is your quirk…?"

"It's returned," Aizawa confirmed. "Midoriya did say that the effects wouldn't last as long."

"I think, instead of the body becoming resistant to the drug, the effects strengthen with more use," Uraraka said. Being left alone without the use of her quirk had left her a lot of time to think it over. It had embarrassed her to think of how scared she'd been without it, especially when she thought of how Deku had been quirkless for over the first fifteen years of his life. "The time in between getting dosed grew longer each time. It's been almost two days now." She frowned. "It's a sedative too. Each time I was knocked out for at least an hour after being injected."

Aizawa nodded and leaned back in his seat. "I felt my energy drained almost immediately." That explained why he hadn't been involved in the fight with Dabi as much after being cut by the knife.

Gripping her left arm, Uraraka rubbed a thumb over the skin next to the band-aid a nurse had put on after they'd taken a few samples of her blood. With her quirk still being inhibited, it stood that the drug was still in her veins. The idea was that they could isolate it and perhaps create something to counter it, but she knew something like that would take time. Even then, it might not work if the drug was somehow created using someone's quirk.

"So you passed out after being injected," Tsukauchi said, pulling them back on course. "What happened after that?"

Even though it was a very serious situation, Uraraka blushed. She had not been looking forward to this part. To be honest, any part of the story that involved hers and Deku's relationship was humiliating, but she couldn't afford to hide anything. This was not the time for embarrassment. Yes, it would be awkward, but Deku's relationships with the people in his life and how he viewed them now could provide some sort of key to helping him. Judging from the way Kota had been able to snap him out of it for a moment when he'd unintentionally recreated an important moment in Deku's life, it wasn't too far-fetched.

Still, it would be easier to talk about how a villain had nearly killed her than how Deku had turned on their song and slow-danced with her before kissing her sweetly.

Beside her, Bakugou stiffened in his seat, as if he somehow knew what she was about to say. He had reacted in a similar way when she'd told him about how Deku had kissed her in her apartment. He was uncomfortable, to say the least, but not in a combative way. When she peered at him, he huffed lightly, displeased with things already but not angry.

Slowly, Uraraka talked through the first day with them. She still wasn't sure how long she had been out, the drug and the exhaustion from the fight combining, but she did her best to fill in the gaps. It was uncomfortable to the point where she had to look at the ground as she talked about Deku's behavior. It was one thing to tell Bakugou about it or even their friends, although she had admittedly skipped the kiss when telling the group in Bakugou's apartment, but quite another to sit in front of a bunch of professionals and glaze over the fact that Deku had _missed_ her. She didn't specify what that meant exactly, but she had a feeling they got the picture and it made her feel sick.

This was her life with Deku. She told them everything, not holding a single thing back, even how he had brought up the fact that he'd planned on proposing to her. She could sense Bakugou getting tenser by the second and they were only at the beginning. How was he going to handle it when she went into deal about watching Todoroki being forced under Kyōmu's quirk for the first time and being held back by Deku who thought he was doing good? What would he do when she explained just how brutal Deku had become or his volatile reaction to Bakugou's interview on the news with Aizawa?

She didn't know. None of them knew. She could talk about every single, little detail and it would still not fully encapsulate what she and Todoroki had gone through.

By the time she reached the part where Deku had taken her to see Todoroki, everyone in the room sat with the distinct air of discomfort around them. It was nothing like they had expected. All Might sat next to Aizawa, his head in his hands. It would've been easier if Deku had acted like a pure villain, evil and full of contempt, but there were too many bits of his real self to reconcile his actions. It was him but it wasn't. The conversation about him looking at rings had been so normal that she'd almost let herself forget that she was being held captive in the League of Villains' stronghold.

"How many villains outside of the ones that we know of did you see?" Tsukauchi questioned.

Uraraka brought her hand to her mouth, biting on a fingernail but not chewing as she thought back. "Well, only two of the villains besides Deku and Dabi came back from the fight outside Kaminari's apartment. I never saw them after that. Um, there was Ikeda and Mizumi, the one that…" Her hand moved to her neck where the bruises were still apparent. "Compress is back out of hiding, at least three that I didn't get names for, and… Kyōmu. There was Kyōmu."

Tsukauchi zeroed in on that last name. Even if he didn't know who he was, the detective could sense the significance in the way that Uraraka talked about him and began to tremble. "Kyōmu." He snapped his fingers and a detective behind him began to look up the name. She highly doubted anything would come up, seeing as how she didn't think it was his real name. "Is he…?"

"He's the one that made Deku what he is," Uraraka confirmed, her throat constricting painfully. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Bakugou squirm in his seat and then her eyes dropped down. Underneath the table, so that no one could see him, he was holding his hand out. To everyone else, he'd leaned over the table with an elbow propped on top and a cheek resting against his fist. To her, he was doing so much more. She placed her hand in his and he grasped it tightly, giving her the grounding that she needed.

When Tsukauchi glanced back at the detective doing research, she shook her head. "Nothing, sir."

Tsukauchi frowned and turned back to Uraraka. "Is he the leader?"

"To be honest, I'm not entirely sure," Uraraka confessed sheepishly. "The other villains deferred to him and one of them did call him the boss, but he didn't come off the leader type to me. He seemed like he had his own agenda or did things on his own. Maybe he's just using them; I wouldn't put it past him. I didn't see anyone else in charge exactly, so he probably is."

"If Compress is back as well, do we have confirmation on other past League members' whereabouts?" Tsukauchi asked the detective behind him.

She did a quick search on her laptop. "Shigaraki is serving his sentence prison. Luckily he was placed in a different prison than the others. Bubaigawara is still in the hospital where he's been undergoing therapy since his capture. Spinner is out on parole, but has been checking in regularly with no incidents. The others appear to be clean too. There hasn't been any suspicious contact."

A young woman who looked similar to Tsukauchi added, "I questioned Shigaraki after we became aware of Kurogiri's involvement and then the prison break, but he didn't want anything to do with this new League and proclaimed to have no knowledge."

"You said that Kyōmu turned Deku into a villain," Tsukauchi continued, threading his fingers together on top of the table. "Do you know how his quirk works?"

"Yes." Uraraka swallowed, but it was suddenly difficult. Without looking at her, Bakugou squeezed her hand, his unwavering strength bleeding into her. "The second day, after asking him again, Deku took me to see Shouto, but it was actually so I could meet Kyōmu and understand what was going on. I think it was mostly to intimidate me and put me in my place, although Deku didn't see it that way. He's started going back to him willingly for reconditioning when he starts getting confused or maybe the illusion wears off. He thinks he's doing Shouto a favor - that Kyōmu's quirk will help him understand things clearer."

That was what got to her the most about the whole thing. She had no doubt that Deku had gone to Kyōmu after falling through the warp gate. Maybe it wasn't right away, but he had done it. The confusion scared him. He didn't know what to do when his actions and thoughts started to clash with one another. If the reality that he lived in wasn't real, then what was he doing? Kyōmu had to keep using his quirk on him. Deku had been tired, but looked so relieved after he'd gone under reconditioning and then come back to nap on her.

"Get to it," Endeavor snapped, impatient as ever. This was his son she was talking about. Of course he wanted to get to the bottom of things as fast as possible in order to save him.

However, instead of being cowed, Uraraka shot him a glare. Shouto wouldn't be so vulnerable to Kyōmu's quirk if not for that man. If it wasn't for the fact that he was the number one hero and they would need all the power they had in order to stop whatever Kyōmu and Deku had planned, she would've requested that he leave. Either way, he wasn't going to like what she had to say, which she took a sick sort of satisfaction in.

"As best as Shouto explained it to me, the quirk works by manipulating memories," Uraraka began carefully, thinking back to what both Kyōmu and Shouto had told her on top of what she'd witnessed. It stung to remember how scared Shouto had been. He'd tried to hide it, but she could tell that the quirk was unsettling him, unraveling him and stitching him back up into someone else. "He can add something or take something away or tweak things about it - emotions, reactions, anything involved in the person's memory. It's like…" How had Shouto described it?" "It's like he can sort through a person's memories, pick one specifically, and show it to them like a picture, except everything is heightened. He can even bring up repressed memories."

"So it's not a brainwashing quirk?" Tsukauchi asked. "He's not being told to do anything?"

Uraraka bit her lip and shook her head. "Maybe he's followed certain orders, but not out of force. Everything he's done so far has been his own decision. It's still him in a sense, but then it's not. It's him if...certain things hadn't happened or others did. The quirk can essentially change a person's reality and have them follow a different path, one they might've take under different circumstances."

Shinso, who had spent most of his time here looking uncomfortable at being in the room, frowned. He must have been brought here because of his quirk. "That's much worse than I thought. It sounds more difficult to get a person under their control, but what's it's done, they don't even realize what they're doing is wrong and stop fighting. Deku was able to break free from my quirk, but he wasn't in control. How are you supposed to snap a person back to reality when this is his reality?"

"How long before the changes in memory fully set in?" All Might questioned in a quiet voice.

Uraraka shrugged her shoulders helplessly. "I imagine it varies since it's a slow process of changing specific details. When was the first villain kill that we confirmed was done by Deku?"

"Approximately six months ago," Tsukauchi answered. "That doesn't mean it took that long though. There's a chance we missed things before he escalated to murder."

In order to impress her, to make her happy, to help her. _I killed them for you!_ He had been so excited to unveil that surprise that he'd missed the horror on her face. She'd thought it was bad then.

"I don't know how long it took for Deku to give in, but he's been going under it again since resurfacing, probably because seeing people from his life brings things up," Uraraka continued. "The quirk is a really painful process if you fight it and apparently not everyone can take it. Some people have died. I don't know why. Shouto looked and sounded like he was in excruciating pain the two times I witnessed the quirk being used on him and it was physically draining to the point where he passed out. All I could do was watch. Deku was holding me back. It was like something out of a nightmare."

"Shouto is strong," Endeavor said, although he looked stiff as he crossed his arms over his chest. "He can take it."

"The thing is, I don't think resisting the change is about strength," Uraraka said. If that was the case, then surely the quirk would've killed Deku instead. He was the strongest person she knew and Shouto had to be strong in order to have survived what he had in his life and still come out kind and good. "It all depends on the person's past. Some are easier to manipulate than others" - her eyes flickered back to the number one hero - "especially if there is already something bad in their history."

She could see the exact moment when Endeavor realized that she knew. The two of them held each other's gaze, excluding everyone else in the room for just a moment. Shouto was vulnerable due to his history of Endeavor's abuse. He'd had Shouto with the intentions of creating the strongest hero to take the number one spot, but he had also paved a path for one of the strongest villains ever if the League had their way or if he had simply gone to the other side in the first place.

This was not something that Endeavor needed or wanted to be aired to the public. Uraraka didn't want to either. It wasn't her place to tell others. It was Shouto's past, one that he should be free to tell if he wanted, but she knew that he would not want people to know. It wasn't about protecting Endeavor. She wasn't sure what it was, but it was important to her. Endeavor knew what he'd done and how that might affect Shouto and the outcome of going through this quirk. He could tell the others.

Uraraka turned back to face Tsukauchi. He was easier to talk to than a man she wanted to punch in the face. "After only two sessions, Shouto said that he could feel the change and that part of him didn't even mind it. He was...angrier, more prone to violence, upset, and scared. He'd forgotten things and was confused about others. It's hard to fight because you honestly don't know what's real and what isn't, so you either stop trusting everything you remember or you accept it all as the truth. He knew that, but the quirk gave him a sense of relief too."

"So what you're saying is that you have no idea how long we've got before we're stuck fighting two people ranked in the top five heroes," Hawks, the number two hero, drawled. He had kept his number two position since being announced years ago, except for the year he'd been number three. The drop in rank hadn't seemed to bother him at all. Besides, he got his position back when Deku was officially announced dead and they had to do another tally. He hadn't seemed to care about that either. "Well that's fantastic. This is gonna be a blast."

"It's not like I had the chance to get all specifics while being forced to watch my friend get tortured in between being trying not to set Deku off," Uraraka retorted, a burst of anger energizing her. They had no idea what it had been like. They could sit there and question and judge her all they wanted, but none of them would know what it had been like to watch Shouto getting mentally torn apart or tread the delicate line of placating Deku and trying to figure out if she cold help him. "Sorry for not doing a better job of getting information while being held captive."

Ryuku held up a hand. "No one is suggesting that." She spared a glance at Hawks, who shrugged his shoulders, but didn't apologize either. "None of us can imagine how terrible of an ordeal you went through. The fact that you're able to sit here and speak with us is nothing short of amazing." She laid his hand over top her other on top of the table, a picture of compassion and strength. She was the number four hero now, which was why she was here, but Uraraka was grateful to see her old mentor. "We're just trying to get a feel of how we should prepare."

"Anyone Shouto might target in particular if he's turned so we can anticipate his moves?" Hawks asked. "You know, like how Midoriya has locked in on Ground Zero."

His tone was flippant, like he honestly didn't care, but his eyes were too sharp behind his glasses. He kept his gaze on her, but she had a feeling that the question wasn't solely directed toward her either. The top two heroes had worked together on several occasions, but there was a cold air between them right now. What with his carefree personality, Hawks had a way of bringing people in like Deku that Endeavor did not possess, but he hid a sharp cleverness behind that attitude.

She highly doubted that he knew about Shouto's history with his father, but it was obvious to everyone in the hero circle that the two of them were not close. Things had gotten better between them over the years, but it would never be good or completely end the tension. Even Bakugou shifted in his seat. She wasn't sure how much he knew of Shouto's history, if any, but there was no way he'd missed the cold treatment she was giving Endeavor. In retrospect, she would be embarrassed over acting out like that, but right now, she was laid bear and it was too tiring to hide how she felt.

They wouldn't be in this position if Endeavor had been a decent human being from the start.

"He'll probably focus on me," Endeavor suddenly said, not sounding so arrogant or tough. She wasn't sure what he sounded like. Guilty? Ashamed? She couldn't reconcile those emotions with him. Like Shouto, he was the kind of person who accepted things. He'd done what he had done and now he had to face the consequences. All he could do was move forward.

Instead of questioning him further, Hawks sighed. "Well, it's a start."

"Let's get back to where we left off," Tsukauchi piped up, reigning them all back in. Uraraka didn't know whether to be relieved or not. She was on day two of her story and it only went downhill from there. She didn't know if Bakugou would want to keep holding her hand or not, but as long as he didn't let go, she wasn't going to either. Without her quirk, she may not have been able to float, but she still needed something to ground her. "I'd like to learn more about how this quirk has affected Midoriya's behavior and anything you can give us on the League members you encountered or their goals."

How the quirk had affected Deku. She thought of him tossing grapes in the air and catching them with his mouth in his bid to show her that he'd been thinking about her. How he'd snuggled against her in bed to sleep in search of comfort that the other villains couldn't give him. The way he'd carried her to his room and carefully wrapped her ankle, which was still sore and had bruised. She hadn't needed Recovery Girl for a simple injury like that. And then she thought of how he'd brutally murdered that villain for hurting her and the way Ikeda had shriveled and trembled with fear when he blamed her.

It was a mess.

Throughout the rest of the interview, Bakugou stayed silent except for a few scoffs and trademark "tch"s, but he shockingly didn't say a word. She couldn't remember a time when he'd been so quiet and still. Sure, she knew that he was capable of him, but it was in his nature to always be loud and on the go. It was like he'd taken a page out of Todoroki's book. She was fond of him the way he was, but she couldn't deny that she had needed this kind of support right now.

Near the end, when Uraraka could feel herself losing steam and drifting, something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. Still holding onto her hand like his life depended on it, Bakugou had started to float. She noticed it before he did, as it was only a little, but when she ripped her hand out of his grip to cover her mouth to stifle a cry, he jolted and grabbed the table to keep himself from floating to the ceiling. A few people in the room were startled by the sudden shift, but didn't say anything when she pressed her fingers together and said, "Release," so that he could plop back in his seat.

Both of their cheeks were dusted with blush since the implication of what had happened was obvious. Her quirk was activated by touch. Thankfully, no one said anything to question it. In fact, once settled again, Tsukauchi appeared as if he'd forgotten it already. She mumbled an apology, but with her quirk back, she found herself struggling even more to think straight. The urge to cry in relief was so strong that her throat kept closing up and she had to take a few breaths to stop the tears spilling from her eyes. It took every last bit of her strength to hold herself back, but she was at her limit and knew it.

The last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of everyone. She'd had to combat it so many times during this interview, but she was beyond tired and she wasn't even done with what she had to do today.

She knew what Bakugou would say when she told him her plan for after this ( _You need to fucking rest or you're gonna lose your shit and be worthless_ ), but it had to be done. If she hadn't been sure before, staring down Endeavor had strengthened her resolve. Besides, she wouldn't be able to rest until everything was off her chest. There were a lot of things she'd never said before, but she'd started to realize that keeping them to herself wasn't worth the fight.

Having noticed the way she kept tapering off and losing focus, Detective Tsukauchi set his pen down and closed his notebook and said, "Why don't we end it here? We know what happens next."

Even though it was unprofessional, Uraraka slumped in her seat in relief. She'd reached the end of her story more or less, leaving off right after Deku had taken her through the portal to meet Kota. She wanted to talk with All Might about her discussion with Deku centering around him and hero society. It was private and she wasn't sure if he'd told people the truth about One for All. It was such a highly kept secret, but with Deku using the quirk to wreak havoc, he might have been forced to tell the truth.

Tsukauchi waved a hand and an officer turned off the camera recording her. "I'd like to revisit this though, see if we can pry out any specific details that might help."

"Of course," Uraraka replied immediately, "anything I can do."

She had known that it wouldn't end with this. They'd only gone over the basics. Uraraka had told them everything that had happened, but there were details that could be drawn out of her memory with the right questions. Right now though, she was becoming more useless by the second as her exhaustion won over.

As everyone began to file out of the room, Uraraka caught eyes with Bakugou. Although he looked as resilient as ever, she could see the question in the way he held himself back. What did she want to do? Uraraka sighed. There were a lot of things that she wanted to do, very few that she could actually do. She pushed the chair away from the table and then eased herself up to her feet. How much longer did she have before she could rest? How much more did she have in her before her body couldn't take it anymore?

Uraraka supposed that she was about to find out. Emotional exhaustion was different from physical and she was going to go past her limit today.

Before she could say or do anything, a hand on her shoulder and someone saying, "Uravity," in a low rumble stopped her short. She didn't need to turn around to see who had held her back, but she was still a little surprised to find Endeavor standing before her. He was so massive and tall, imposing with the strength that he radiated, especially with his quirk activated for his hero costume.

How terrifying he must have been to a child. Kyōmu was having a field day with Todoroki's memories.

"Hands off," Bakugou snapped, stepping up next to her and scowling so furiously that it looked like he might actually fight the number one hero in the hospital.

Endeavor didn't look scared in the slightest, not even bothering to soften his expression, but he pulled his hand away. "I meant no disrespect." He had gotten a lot better over the years. Before, he had been known for his callous behavior and even indifferent treatment of his own fans. He was an incredible hero, but he didn't have the same idolized presence as a hero like All Might or even the inspirational aura that Deku had exuded. As far as popularity came, even Bakugou was liked more.

None of that seemed to matter to Endeavor, but Todoroki had told her of how his father had started to cool down and make the actual effort to be a better person. Despite his fire quirk, he wasn't the kind or warm type and he never would be. He wouldn't be comforting or gentle. He could be professional though and he could admit when he was in the wrong. Todoroki said that he wasn't letting his pride run everything.

" _He even got me something for my last birthday and it wasn't just money like usual,"_ Todoroki had mumbled in the cells just two days ago. They had been talking about his past so that he could remember the effort his father had made to be better. It wasn't enough to make up for what he'd done, but Kyōmu had been slowly erasing or scribbling over them. If he didn't talk about it with someone, he would eventually forget the past few years. " _It was weird."_

"What do you want?" Bakugou demanded coldly, folding his arms across his chest, his arm muscles strained with tension. "Haven't you done enough?"

Uraraka blinked in surprise. How much did he know and how? She couldn't picture Todoroki opening up to Bakugou of all people about his past. It had taken him a while to tell Deku the whole truth and her even longer. She had figured out that his childhood was rough and different from hers, but she hadn't known the extent until their late night discussions after Deku's death. Bakugou was smart though. There was a chance that he didn't know the specifics but had been able to put two and two together after overhearing or witnessing things.

"What you said about Shouto…" Something besides anger or pride burst through. Endeavor was uncomfortable. She couldn't imagine much was capable of making him feel like that. He might have been working on repairing things with his family, but having an outsider know the truth was different. "About how some people are more vulnerable to the quirk… I want to know what exactly is happening to my son."

On one hand, Uraraka didn't want to tell him anything. What right did he have to act like he cared about Todoroki now? On the other, she thought that he was concerned, even if he didn't know how to show it. His son was a pro hero, one of the strongest and would surely pass him, but he was still his son.

"From what I gathered, bad memories are easier to exploit," Uraraka explained, "and we both know that Shouto had more than a few. Kyōmu said that he had a lot to work with and barely had to change anything about his past." She bit her lip. "Like I said, I don't think resisting the quirk has much to do with strength. I know that Shouto is strong. Even though he was severely weakened and didn't have his quirk, he tried to protect me." He'd been slashed at, threatened, and most likely struck a few times when he put up a fight. "But I think he'll be easier to turn than Deku - because of you."

"Are you saying this is my fault?" Endeavor asked. He didn't sound angry. He didn't sound like anything, just a man assessing the damages.

Uraraka looked him in the eyes. "I'm saying that in your bid to make him strong you also made him weak."

Endeavor clenched his jaw, almost reacting as if she had smacked him. She had been waiting for him to get furious over her being presumptuous or thinking she understood what had happened between them. Honestly, she didn't. When Todoroki had opened up to her about his past, she had been shocked and horrified. She didn't know how anyone could treat their child like that. It had been her dream to become a hero in order to help her parents, but he had forced his goals on Todoroki's shoulders.

"I promised that I would be there to help him keep his head straight. He was scared - he was tired - but more importantly, he was angry. That quirk is capable of turning him into a weapon more than you ever could. You need to watch your back and that is not a threat." Uraraka hated talking about Todoroki this way. Of course she wanted to believe that he could withstand the mental torture, but she'd seen what he was like after a handful of times under the quirk's influence, her hopes were admittedly low. "He talked about wanting to kill you for what you did and I don't think Kyōmu changed much about his history with you to make him feel that way."

Despite the fact that she had just told him that his son potentially wanted to kill him, Endeavor didn't blink or pale. All he did was nod his head in understanding. He must have figured this was coming. Judging from what she had talked about concerning Deku's violent and powerful grudge against Bakugou and his indifferent behavior towards the rest of his friends, he had probably come to the conclusion that something similar would happen with Todoroki.

He held himself back. Todoroki had the sort of power that could destroy and easily kill even at a young age. When the USJ had been attacked by the League, he'd captured a handful of villains on his own. She remembered gawking when Hagakure had talked about how Todoroki had casually threatened their lives in order to get information. He had only been fifteen then. What kind of destruction was he capable of now if he didn't hold back? He'd done so when fighting Deku the first time.

If he was turned, Todoroki would not have the same reservations. He would be free to go all out and do whatever he pleased, just as Deku promised the quirk would let him.

"What of the rest of my family?" Endeavor asked.

Uraraka shook her head. "I don't know, but I don't think it'll be good." She was worried about that. Todoroki hadn't talked about them much, but that could prove to be an issue later. Kyōmu had started to work on changing Deku's view of Iida, All Might, and the others. "You spent years abusing your son, but the truth is you just made it easier for a villain to take advantage of him and corrupt a good person into something he fears the most."

Bakugou shifted on his feet. He wasn't used to seeing her so confrontational. The contempt and anger that had risen in her tone probably caught him off guard. It sort of surprised her as well, but she was upset. Todoroki was scared and alone, but it wouldn't be long before the quirk gave him the illusion of freedom with Deku at his side goading him along. Kyōmu was right. Keeping Todoroki alive would help them better in the long-run. No longer feeling alone, Deku would only fall further into the dark.

"Unfortunately for you, Deku has also built up a grudge about false heroes. He doesn't have a high opinion of you. I wouldn't be surprised if they target you together." It was her duty to warn him. She'd begrudgingly realized that she would have to tell Endeavor one way or another that his life was in danger. She had to protect even him. Plus, no matter what the quirk did to change Todoroki, deep down, he would not want to kill his father. She didn't want that guilt to be laid at his feet. "Deku said a lot of things that didn't make sense, but I think he was right that there is something wrong with hero society - and it starts with people like you."

With that said, Uraraka turned on her heels and walked out of the room, not even bothering to fully end the conversation. She'd done what needed to be done. Endeavor had been warned and given a piece of her mind. It wasn't nearly what he deserved, but, as much as she wanted, she couldn't go off on him in public. She thought she had been furious with him before when Todoroki had told her the truth, but seeing Endeavor in person, listening to him question her judgement or decisions, she wanted to float him to space and never release her quirk.

"Oi, Uraraka!"

She glanced back to see Bakugou rushing to follow her, but she didn't fully stop. He didn't need her to slow down in order to catch up with her. She'd kind of forgotten about him at the end there and left him in her rush to get away from Endeavor before she said or did anything she might regret.

"Sorry, I just-" Uraraka rubbed her temple, trying to smooth out the headache that had started to build. "I had to get out of there."

"You really did a number on Half and Half's old man," Bakugou noted. "You ripped him a new one. I'm sure he'd be proud."

"Maybe," Uraraka mumbled. She was pretty sure that it wouldn't be long before Todoroki would want to do more than just tell of his dad. "To be honest, I'm kind of embarrassed. I shouldn't have talked about it so upfront. It's not my…"

It wasn't her story to tell. It wasn't her history or her memories being messed with. She had to bring it up in order for the others to know how the quirk worked, but she should've showed more discretion. Instead of going off on Endeavor with Bakugou right beside her, she should've told him to wait for her outside. There were so many things that she "should have" done and the list was only growing.

"I knew enough already to piece things together," Bakugou told her, like he'd somehow read her mind. That used to be a comforting thought, making her think they were on the same page, but now it reminded her of Kyōmu and her stomach flipped. "I remember seeing him in action for the first time and realizing he was _stronger_ than me. I hated it. And then the Sports Festival, I knew I was going to lose, but then that dipshit only used half his power. No way he could be that strong without some training. I just didn't know how much until later."

Uraraka dropped her hand from her temple so that she could punch the down button for the elevator. "It was awful, Bakugou. There's no sugarcoating what he went through and Kyōmu is making him relive it all over again in excruciating detail and making it _worse_." The doors opened and she stepped inside, slumping against the wall even before they shut. Bakugou followed and pressed the appropriate button for her. "If he's turned, 'horrible' is going to be an understatement."

"Worse than Deku coming after me?" Bakugou asked, somewhat dryly. He was trying to give her comfort with his confidence.

As much as she appreciated it, the sentiment felt flat when she replied, "I think it might be. Deku was still… I don't know - he was still light and playful."

"Threatening to cut off my hand didn't sound so playful to me."

Uraraka's cheeks reddened. "I know, but he… He still acted familiar with you. Even when he talked about how much he hated you for what you'd done to him or had to kill you for getting in between us, it was… I don't know. It's hard to describe. He held back though. He didn't kill you outright."

Bakugou leaned back against the wall next to her. "Endeavor's not gonna get a harsh warning, huh?"

"I don't think we're going to get warnings anymore," Uraraka said, turning to gaze up as the numbers counted down to the first floor. "Todoroki isn't going to hold back and neither will Deku. The next time we see him, he's not going to leave when it gets inconvenient."

"Tch," Bakugou scoffed, sounding like his old self-assured self, like he could just say something and make it so out of sheer stubbornness and willpower. "I'm not going to let anyone die. Not again."

 _Oh you say that, but do you really believe it?_ Uraraka wanted to ask, but she didn't. Her silence was probably telling as it was. It wasn't that she didn't believe in him - he was one of the few people she trusted in this - but this had grown out of their control. She didn't know what it would take to get Deku back and make him believe in the truth or if it would do any good if they did.

The doors opened and they stepped out into the reception hall. "C'mon, let's get you home." Bakugou buried his hands in his pockets and hunched over, as if he could hide. He couldn't. Even when subdued like this, his presence was too explosive, like he was one second away from blowing up. Maybe he was. "Your place was cleared for you to stay tonight until they set you up at the safe house again. Don't bother arguing. I'm stuck too."

"I won't," Uraraka said, "but I've got one more thing to do before I can rest. Is your car here?"

Bakugou huffed. "You're gonna run yourself ragged, Uraraka.."

"Please, it's important."

She stopped to face him and look him in the eyes. He wore that unreadable expression again, the one that made her feel like a thousand walls had been put up between them again. She didn't like it, but then she knew that she was doing the same thing. Every time she got close to him alone, her mind would jump to Deku and how hurt he'd been when she had told him the truth about why he'd gone with her. Why was everything so messed up and confusing right now? It _hurt_. She was supposed to be safe now, but all she felt was alone.

"Alright," Bakugou said, pulling his keys out of his pocket. "Where to?"

Uraraka anticipated the grimace flickering on Bakugou's face when she said, "Todoroki's apartment."

"Great," Bakugou muttered, although he didn't argue even as he stomped out of the hospital with her trailing a step after him. "I get to do this shit again."

Suddenly, he looked as exhausted as she felt, but she was grateful that he didn't fight with her on this. She didn't know what to expect when she got there, but she owed it to Todoroki to take care of his family. It was the only thing she could do right now to help him.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes:** Tfw you're writing about three Todorokis talking about Todoroki so you just have to use their given names and say fuck it. What's it say about writing a chapter kind of about accepting the past, your regrets, and your failures in the middle of a fic when it normally is the end? I dunno, ya'll, but these people got some shit they have to deal with - all of them. Uraraka gets her own in the next chapter because she's got a lot going on, but she's there finally.

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Uraraka had been to Todoroki's apartment more than a few times over the past year. He had moved here after graduation, but hadn't done anything like a housewarming party like some of the others in their class. She thought he was a little self-conscious about it, considering that it was his first time being on his own. It was sparsely decorated, a bit like Bakugou's, lacking the warmth and homeliness she and Deku had infused in their apartment, but it was his own space and she knew it meant a lot to him.

It wasn't until Deku's death that she had ever stepped foot in it. A week after the search for his body had ended, everything had come crashing down on her all at once. The apartment she had shared with him had become too much and she'd thought she was going to drown in all the emotions she kept bundled up inside. Honestly, she had called Todoroki on accident, meaning to hit Tsu's contact, but the second he answered the phone and she heard his steady voice on the other end, she had broken like a dam.

" _Come over."_

Todoroki hadn't hesitated that moment he realized what was going on. He was by no means the best of their friends at handling someone else's grief and comforting them, especially when he was trying to deal with his own, but he hadn't balked at her choking sobs. He'd called a cab for her since he recognized that she was in no state to drive, told her to pack a bag, and that was that. He would have hot tea waiting for her when she got there. She had tried to back out, apologize for waking him up, but he had simply said that some company would be nice and she couldn't say no to him.

Maybe he wasn't the best at comforting people, but he had caught her when she stumbled at his apartment door, catching her in his arms, and he had led her to the couch so she could cry hysterically. She had cried since Deku's death, of course, but nothing like this since that actual moment when he'd gone under the stormy waves and Bakugou had managed to save her with the last of his strength. Todoroki had said nothing as she ruined his t-shirt with her tears. He kept his warm, left hand on his back to soothe her as she cried and then put his cool, right hand against her forehead once she stopped to cool her red face down and help her puffy eyes and cheeks.

It was exactly what she had needed that night.

If things ever became too overwhelming at home, Uraraka knew she was welcome to crash at Todoroki's apartment. She could've gone to Tsu's or Iida's, but she also knew they would try to talk with her about how she felt. There was nothing wrong with that - perhaps she, Todoroki, and Bakugou could have done so more - but she couldn't take it. She wasn't ready. She was unsure of when she would be. She'd experienced grief before, but never on this level. It was hard to handle.

It was only until the next morning did she find out that Todoroki didn't live alone. He could've stayed living at his father's house. The two of them had repaired their relationship as much as it could be over the past few years, but it would never be truly good. One of the major reasons he had moved out as soon as he graduated was so his mother could leave the hospital and move in with him. Estranged from her family, she'd had nowhere to go and it had been Todoroki's main goal to get her out so she could live her life.

When Uraraka had woken the next morning looking rough for wear but feeling somewhat better, it had been to the smell of breakfast and humming from the kitchen that made her ache for home. She had been startled to see his mother there, but Todoroki explained the situation in a monotone voice. Rei Todoroki was a lot more positive about it, smiling as she spoke about what her youngest son had done for her, but the worry in her eyes said that she knew he was also hurting terribly over the loss of his friend.

Uraraka didn't ask questions - she knew better than that - but she'd gleamed bits and pieces of Todoroki's history over the six years she'd known him. The nights they spent picking up the pieces Deku's death had shattered were when he finally opened up, haltingly at first. During those moments, Rei had given them space, keeping to her bedroom, but many times his eyes were drawn to her door. There was so much pain and regret in his past, more than she thought right for him to carry, and Deku's death only added to it more. It wasn't his fault, but failure was something that stung him deeply in particular.

It turned out that only Deku had really known the truth. He'd told him a little of it in their first year at the Sports Festival, but it had been out of anger and spite towards his father. As the years went on, he had opened up more until he had someone to confide in. It was good. All those years he'd kept everything inside - he'd kept everything a secret, even the smallest details about his life that weren't even bad - and he finally learned that there were people out there that would accept all of him, even the darkest parts.

Deku had never told her anything, as it was not his story to tell, but with him gone, Todoroki had fallen into that lonely pit again. Iida knew a little, as they'd gotten closer by their third year and both shouldered the weight of being in a family of heroes, but nothing to this extent. Those nights where she had cried the tears out and then they sat in silence until he forced himself to talk meant the world to her. She should've done more - there was so much more she could've done, even if Todoroki had insisted that she'd done everything - but she'd seen him holding out a branch and she'd leaped to take it.

Maybe it was to distract herself from her own pain and suffering. Maybe it was because she wanted to feel closer to Deku since Todoroki was his best friend. Maybe it really was to help both of them heal. Uraraka hadn't thought about it then and she wasn't certain now. All she knew was that there was a chance it was all for naught. Everything she had done to build that bridge between them - everything she had done to comfort him - everything he had done to move on from his past and build a better future, create a happier life, become more…

Going under that villain's quirk could take all of that away. He'd have every little success ripped away from him, those bright memories shredded to pieces, and it would leave him broken and hollow for them to piece back together and fill up with whatever the villains' wanted. It devastated her, but left her furious too. Todoroki had done so much to heal and now there were tearing open old wounds, pouring salt in them, and forcing him to bleed out and burn again.

It pissed her off so much.

But now was not the time for anger. That would be for later. And this time, there would be no Todoroki to call. She would have to figure something else out.

"You sure you want to do this?" Bakugou asked as they sat in the car.

Uraraka stared at Todoroki's apartment building. It was nicer than the one she'd lived in, even though Deku had actually made more money in the end. No, she wasn't sure, but it had to be done. "They deserve to know," was all she could say.

Bakugou huffed out a breath, but he didn't argue with her on this. He must have understood it too. After all, he had told her how he'd gone with Tsu and All Might to speak with Inko. Uraraka's heart went out to the woman, who must have been grieving, confused, and terrified at the same time. As soon as she was ready, Uraraka would have to visit her as well. After all, Inko had almost been her mother-in-law and she loved her dearly.

After taking a deep breath, Uraraka got out of the car and Bakugou followed. He said nothing, keeping one step behind her, as they walked into the building and got in the elevator. She almost took the stairs so she could prolong the inevitable, but no, she had to get this taken care of. She pressed the button for the tenth floor while Bakugou leaned against the back wall and shoved his hands in his pockets. The ride was oddly silent, but it wasn't awkward. It kind of… Well, it kind of reminded her of how things had been between her and Todoroki in those dark days.

It was strange coming from Bakugou now. She'd expected him to be much more emotional, maybe irritated that she wasn't taking time to herself yet, but he was being almost impassive. She knew that he didn't rage all the time or fight through the pain, but she had come to associate him with a different type of comforting. Whereas others had tried to scale the walls that she built in her grief, he normally blew right through them. It was very effective and sometimes it could frustrate her, but it was what she needed too.

Things were so messed up right now, it was hard to figure out what exactly she needed. A break maybe, but it didn't look like she was going to get that any time soon. To be honest, she hadn't been looking forward to fighting with Bakugou on this, so it was a relief that he wasn't.

Once the elevator doors opened, she took a left and didn't stop until she reached the fifth door on the left. Many of the doors around them were decorated in some way or had a doormat, but Todoroki's was plain. It looked so average, but she couldn't help but be scared of it. As exhausted and emotionally spent as she was though, Uraraka raised a hand and knocked on the door.

There was a moment where nothing happened and then there was sound on the other side, like someone had walked up to the door and peered through the peephole. After another few seconds of silence, she heard the door being unlocked and then it slowly swung open to reveal a young woman with red-streaked white hair and grey eyes behind a pair of glasses.

Uraraka tried to keep her voice even as she started, "Hi, um-"

"I don't think is a good time," the woman said quickly, not unkindly. Her eyes flickered from Uraraka to Bakugou, who was hunkered down behind her perhaps in an attempt to look less threatening. It was difficult for him to not pass off that vibe. "Or a good idea."

"Let her in, Fuyumi," a woman's light voice called from further inside the apartment.

Fuyumi, who Uraraka now recognized as Todoroki's oldest sister, closed her eyes and sighed, her grip on the edge of the door tight, but then she pulled it open further and allowed them to step inside. Uraraka knew that she was only trying to protect her mother. How worried they must have been about her. Even Todoroki had expressed his concern when they had talked about their families and how they might be coping with their kidnapping. He kept repeating to himself that his mother was fine - she was mentally fit - but it had sounded more like eh was trying to convince himself of that truth.

Nothing had changed in Todoroki's apartment except for the extra blankets and pillow on the couch, suggesting that someone had been sleeping there. It had to be either Fuyumi or Natsuo. The moment he'd found out that Deku was back and acting as a villain, he had called his siblings to come stay with their mom. He was wary of going back home, especially if he became a target.

With two known members of the family in the top five heroes, there was the concern that their family was in danger, but especially with Deku involved. He knew all the intricate details about Todoroki's life. He knew what would hurt him the most. Todoroki hadn't thought that Deku would go after his family, but it was easier to stay away from them so he didn't bring danger to his doorstep. Plus, what with him working on the clock to protect Uraraka and prep for a fight with the new League and Deku, he hadn't much time to go home anyway. He didn't want his mom to be alone though, so he'd called his siblings.

Rei was sitting on a cushion at the kitchen table, a cup of tea in her hands. Judging by the way she was able to hold it and no steam came from the top, it had gone cold a while ago. Uraraka was once again struck by how beautiful his mom was. She was so bright and soft, but there was an obvious sadness in her now whereas there had only been a vague hint of it before. Dark circles hung under her grey eyes, but… When she lifted her gaze to Uraraka, there was no anger in them.

The relief was so strong that Uraraka's knees almost buckled right then and there, but she managed to catch herself so that only her breath stuttered in her chest a little.

"Natsu, could you get two more cups of tea?" Rei asked, her focus not leaving Uraraka, making her feel frozen on the spot.

The other young man in the room eyed the two newcomers for a moment before nodding his head and walking out to do as his mother asked. He had the same build and facial features of his father, but his mother's eyes and hair. Not knowing what else to do, Uraraka managed to shakily sit down on one of the cushions at the table across from her. She could feel Bakugou's unease burning through him, his body hot even from a distance, but he did the same without complaint. She wondered if keeping silent for this long was a struggle.

Uraraka had no clue where to start, but luckily, Rei did it for her. "I saw on the news how you managed to escape."

Swallowing a lump in her throat, Uraraka looked down at her hands. "I don't know if it was an escape. It was more like I was…" _Let me go, Ochako._ "It was more like I was released." She gripped her shorts tightly. Iida had gone to her place to get her a change of clothes, which was ironic, considering that Deku had had a villain do the same thing after her capture. "I don't know if that's any better, to be honest."

"You're alive, safe, and out of the villains' hands," Rei responded. How could someone be so direct and so gentle at the same time? It must have come from learning how to live with Todoroki. That was the best approach with him when he was upset. "It's what Shouto would have wanted."

Hearing her speak of her son so plainly made Uraraka's heart ache even more. From the way Fuyumi held herself in the corner, an arm across her chest so she could hold her arm, to the way Natsuo hesitantly stepped back into the room and set down two cups in tea in front of them, she could see that they were all doing their best to keep themselves together. It was much harder than it looked. The uncertainty that the kidnapping brought on them must have been near unbearable. And then to have Uraraka come back safely and not a word about their brother…

Uraraka wouldn't have blamed any of them if they resented her even a little.

It was understandable. It was human. Sure, they were glad that Uravity, their brother's friend, was safe, but she wasn't who they wanted. It was like when people told her she was lucky to be alive after nearly dying to save Deku, but the words only angered her. Lucky? Her being alive had nothing to do with what she wanted. She wanted the love of her life back. She wanted the cold, drab nightmare to end. Nothing else mattered.

Every time she saw a happy couple holding hands as they walked down the street or were having together, she resented them. When she saved people and watched as they clung to each other, so relieved that they were both alive, she resented them. It made her feel disgusting and petty, but it was entirely human. She wasn't angry with them in particular. She was simply angry with the world and in pain.

She'd once confessed feeling like this to Bakugou, if only because she'd been suffering from guilt over it, and he had shrugged his shoulders and said, " _Then fucking hate them. Be pissed. Be upset. You've got every right and don't owe them your happiness too."_ It was blunt and had taken her back, but it had stopped her from getting so worked up over feelings she couldn't entirely control. She had known that Tsu would point out that it was only natural for her to feel like that and Iida would tell her that those feeling, painful as they were, would eventually fade from her - and they were two perfectly good things to say - but it wasn't what she'd needed to hear.

What did Todoroki's mother and siblings need to hear now? She'd given his father the cold hard truth, although she was torn between thinking that she should've ripped into him more or not brought up things that were very personal and not hers to talk about. She wasn't sure it was what he'd needed to hear, but she thought maybe it was. She did not doubt that he would be a target and he needed to know that other people knew why. It made her think of what Deku had said at the park about hero society - how it was broken.

He had a point.

"I'm sorry," Uraraka said, her voice strained. "I-"

She choked on any words she could think to say. Why couldn't she just speak? Even worse, she had to be the one to do it. Bakugou had nothing to say.

"Just tell us he's alive," Natsuo burst, unable to stay silent any longer.

When Uraraka nodded her head, the three of them all dropped their shoulders. There was that at least. She didn't know how much of a relief it was, considering Todoroki's request she could no longer follow. Not unless they met again, but there was really only one way they would and it would be too late by then.

"Do you…?" Fuyumi glanced at her mother and brother and then back to Uraraka. "Do you think they'll keep him alive? There wasn't a ransom or anything like that. It was just...nothing."

"They won't kill him," Uraraka said. She couldn't be for sure, but she was positive. Deku was no longer the same, but, as Kyomu had said - as Deku had told her - it was still him. He'd been ordered to kill Todoroki, but he hadn't done it when given the chance. He hadn't wanted to do it. Kyomu had known that and also knew that Deku was pretending on some level to get what he wanted. Todoroki living worked for their advantage and Deku's too. After all, he didn't want to be alone and he felt so lonely. Such a human emotion, one that Uraraka knew very well. She didn't want to be lonely either.

"How can you be certain?" Natsuo asked anxiously.

Uraraka released her grip on her shorts and relaxed her hands against her thighs, tears burning her eyes. "Because the villains have something much worse in store for him and I'm not there to help him like I promised."

A little honesty could go a long way and they deserved to know the truth. Todoroki was made up of secrets. He was made up of walls he'd built to protect himself. He'd gotten better at letting people in, at opening the door, and being honest instead of silent. She knew that the authorities would not explain to his family what was going on. They were trying to keep a tight lid on things. It made sense, but it harmed people as well. She couldn't do that. His mother was scared for her youngest son, confused about what was going on, terrified of what might happen. She deserved to know that they were being used against him to manipulate him. It would hurt, but they needed to know the truth.

Rei pulled her hands away from the tea cup, which, when Uraraka glanced at it, had frozen over. "I apologize. I didn't…" She smiled sadly at the cup. "You were so kind to Shouto and were there for him in a way I couldn't be. Midoriya's death hurt him deeply, but he never wanted to talk about it. He's always tried so hard to be strong and he didn't want to worry me. He was so lost though. And he was worried he wasn't doing enough to help you."

"He did everything he could and more," Uraraka reassured her.

"I know. I told him that as well, but he was so stubborn," Rei continued, the smile fading from her face. "It's never easy - seeing your child in pain - especially when you know there isn't anything you can do about it. I thought… I thought the worst was behind us. We'd survived. He had survived - all my children had and they were flourishing. We could leave all that pain in the past."

But they couldn't. It would follow them for as long as they lived. Maybe it wouldn't affect them as much and it might not even hurt anymore, but it would always be there, like a shadow. For Todoroki, it was much more than that. The past wasn't the past anymore. It was being brought back to the forefront and his pain and torment was being shoved in his face. If anyone knew what he was suffering through right now, it would be his mother. After all, she had been there. She was one of the nightmares he would be forced to face too.

"To see him hurting again, clear as day when he thought he was hiding it…" Rei sighed. "I didn't know what to do. He closed himself off again. He shut people out." She shook her head. "And then there you were and he couldn't. He had to open that door back up to help you because, well, that's what friends do and it was what his best friend would want him to do and- He needed it. He needed you." Her eyes lifted from the cup and landed on Uraraka. They were so sad. "You were- You are a good friend. I appreciate what you did for him."

Such words stung her. A good friend. She could've been better. She could have done more. Maybe if she had gone with Deku earlier, none of this would've happened. If she'd been a better liar, if she had loved more, if she hadn't tried to save everyone, if she had been stronger - so much stronger - maybe Todoroki wouldn't be where he was now. She'd broken her promise to him.

"Now, I have a favor to ask of you," Rei said, her voice trembling like a snowflake in the winter air. "What's going to my baby boy? What's happening to my Shouto?"

Uraraka took a breath and held herself tightly. And then she began.

It hurt like hell to tell them what they were doing to Todoroki. She didn't have all the pieces, but she told them what she could. It was harsh and maybe she kept some of the worse things to herself, telling herself that lying by omission wasn't really lying when it would mean a little less pain, but she told them the truth. As she told the story, a wave of anger steadily built where Bakugou sat. She didn't know what that meant, but it wasn't pretty. Both Deku and Todoroki were having the pain of their past used to turn them into villains when it had made them heroes before. It was twisted.

Meanwhile, Todoroki's family took it as well as could be expected. Their faces were pale, bodies tense, eyes wide and glossy, but they listened silently as Uraraka laid out the details like a path until she finally reached the end where they could reach their own conclusions. Tears slipped out of Rei's eyes while Fuyumi held a hand over her mouth to stifle any cries and Natsuo had gone completely stiff.

"So what you're saying," Natsuo began slowly, "is that Shouto is gonna end up like Midoriya."

"If they succeed and Shouto gives in to the quirk, then yes," Uraraka answered plainly.

"That would make our old man the top of his list," Natsuo said. He ran a hand through his hair and let out a shaky, aggravated breath. "Can't say I blame him. He must be so _angry_. I know I was for the longest time. Maybe I still am. I don't know."

Uraraka bit her lip and admitted, "It's not just Endeavor that I'm worried about."

Natsuo furrowed his brow and reared back. "You don't think-?"

"He wouldn't," Fuyumi insisted, catching eyes with her brother. There was real concern in them though. They didn't want to believe that their little brother would come after them, but after everything that Uraraka had told them, no matter how much they loved and believed in him, they couldn't be for certain. They only thing they could be sure about was that everything was up in the air. "Would he?"

"But we didn't do anything," Natsuo said.

"I did," Rei spoke up in a quietly pained voice, her eyes startlingly dry. "I hurt him."

Natsuo shook his head. "That wasn't you."

"But it was," Rei insisted. She was upset and hurt, but accepting as well. She would not hide away from the role she played in her son's life. "There are plenty of memories of me that this villain can use to turn Shouto against me without changing anything and more that he can." She folded her hands in her lap. "When he came to visit me that first time, I was so… I was so scared. I thought he would hate me forever, but then he forgave me. He hadn't been upset. He missed me. I could only think, _Why? Why are you forgiving me when I betrayed your trust and hurt you?_ I was afraid I didn't deserve it."

Manipulating and bringing back memories of the abuse he suffered under his father would be one thing, but Uraraka had a feeling the memories of his mother would be the most telling when it came to Todoroki. His feelings on his past were conflicted as they were. She did not think anyone could come out of that and not feel even a little resentful of the other people involved. Shouto had been a kid. Who knew what he had bottled up in order to become stronger? Who knew what he had let go of in order to forgive and move on?

"Maybe it wasn't entirely my fault, but by the time I hurt him, he was afraid of me too," Rei finished. "If what she's saying about the quirk is true, then that's all that matters. He'll use whatever he can to turn Shouto against the world and Enji and I gave him a lot to work with." She looked up at her two children, resolute in her words but grieving too. They'd all thought this was behind them and now it was being dragged to the forefront once again. How many times would he have to move on in order to finally heal? "But you two were innocent. You did nothing."

Bakugou suddenly scoffed, his arms folded across his chest. "That's the point, isn't it?"

The two Todoroki siblings stared at him, angry at first, but then their eyes went back to each other and that anger was replaced with shame. Rei even flinched. It wasn't their fault. From what Todoroki had told her, their father separated them the moment his quirk manifested and he realized he had the heir that he had been trying to have for years. While Todoroki had suffered under his father's hands with brutal and harsh training, Natsuo and Fuyumi had been left alone. They had remained untouched.

It would be a painfully simple thing for Kyomu to twist in Todoroki's mind with his quirk.

"At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter what you did or didn't do," Uraraka pointed out. "You were just kids and it wasn't your fault, but he can make it seem like you willfully ignored his suffering, maybe make it seem like you were relieved it was him and not you, make you jealous of his quirk and hateful."

Fuyumi rubbed at her wet eyes. "And I was there. You left, Natsuo, but I stayed. I thought it was so I could help him, but I didn't do anything. I knew what our father was doing and I…" She sniffed and turned away from them, holding herself protectively. "Maybe I was complicit."

"Like you were going to fight against Dad," Natsuo said.

"I could have done something!" Fuyumi exclaimed, distraught and panicky as tears slipped from her eyes. "He was so little and I knew… We both knew..." She hugged herself. "After what happened with Touya, I knew exactly what would happen to Shouto. I kept telling myself it would be different. Shouto was different. His quirk was what Dad wanted. He'd survive." She closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears. "I'd bandage up wounds, clean cuts, tend to bruises, but I never said anything. I didn't want to embarrass him or upset him more. I was so stupid."

"You were a kid," Uraraka said gently.

"I was old enough to know better," Fuyumi replied in a flat tone that reminded her of Todoroki. She was closing in on herself as a coping mechanism. It must have run in the family. "Do you really think he'll come after us?"

All Uraraka could do was shake her head and admit, "I don't know."

The three of them looked down at the ground, unable to look at each other. They all had their own fears and worries. Uraraka could see them in their eyes and on their faces. They weren't quite as good as Todoroki at hiding how they felt.

When she looked back at Bakugou, she could tell he was thinking the same thing as her. He wasn't all that good at hiding how he felt either and he'd always been honest except when it came to fear and grief. There was a stormy look on his face, one that he couldn't have hid no matter how hard he tried. She understood why. Not only did they have to worry about what the villains' would do with Todoroki's memories of his family, but there was a possibility his memories of them would be affected as well.

To be honest, Uraraka didn't think she was in much danger. Turning Todoroki against her would conflict with Deku's feelings for her and it would be best for the villains (and devastating for the heroes) if those two worked together as a team. They had fought together as heroes a few times and it had always been overwhelming for any villains involved. Bakugou, on the other hand… Their rivalry had been rocky in the beginning, smoothing out near the end, but it had never fully ended. Their relationship had stayed undefined.

Perhaps not for much longer. And with both Deku and Todoroki coming after him and out for blood, Bakugou, strong as he was, would have twice the work cut out for him.

Sighing irritably, Bakugou pulled himself to his feet. "I think it would be for the best if you took some time away."

"What?" Natsuo asked. "You're telling us to run? To leave him behind?"

"Yeah, because that's better than the alternative where he comes back messed up in the head and hurts you," Bakugou shot back with all the bluntness of a bullet shot at point blank range. Natsuo clenched his jaw and formed his hands into fists, but he didn't argue either. "He'd never forgive himself for that. So yeah, run, get out of the city - hell, get out of the country - to save him from doing something he'll regret."

Fuyumi collapsed into a chair. "So we do nothing - again."

"You let us do our jobs," Bakugou told her.

"We'll bring him back," Uraraka swore, even though she knew making a promise was a mistake. They nodded their heads, but they had to know it the same as her. "We'll save him."

No matter how much conviction she put into them, the words felt somewhat hollow when faced with the fact that she had been saying the same thing about Deku and had yet to produce any results. If anything, her time with him had somehow made him worse and pushed him further into villainy. That was what really hurt her, wasn't it? She had been right there - she had been with him, held him, kissed him - and he'd gone further away. It was a harsh truth to face, but one that she had to acknowledge if she was going to help Todoroki. She had to figure out where she went wrong.

It wasn't all on her. It couldn't be all on her - the weight of it was far too much to bear alone - but even though she had struggled to come to terms with the fact that her best hadn't been able to save Deku from dying, she still had to believe that she could do this. That was what being a hero meant. Continuing to fight when all hope was lost. It was what she had done after Deku's death and it was what she would do now. She would not stop fighting until they either won or she was dead and she knew that Bakugou felt the same way. That was it.

After discussing some of their options of where they could go, Fuyumi had bowed out near the end so she could alert their father. Natsuo hadn't seemed to like it much, but he had agreed it was a good idea. Communication was key in situations like this and, what his relationship was with his family now, the number one hero would have to feel better knowing that they were safe.

The fact that they would be safe from one of their own was best not to dwell on. Endeavor's greatest masterpiece could turn into his worst nightmare.

With that taken care of, Uraraka and Bakugou took their leave. Bakugou left first, walking out so he could check to make sure the coast was clear. She didn't think anyone would be there waiting for them - not so soon after that battle - but he wasn't taking any chances and she hadn't the energy to argue with him.

Before she could leave when she got the confirmation text from Bakugou, Rei touched Uraraka's shoulder and the younger woman allowed herself to get pulled into a light, cool hug. "Take care of yourself." She pulled back far enough so they could look each other in the eyes. There was serious concern in Rei's, the concern of a mother that made Uraraka ache for her own. "I know what it's like to hold everything in until you break."

"I'm fine," Uraraka mumbled, dropping her gaze and pulling out of her grip fully.

Rei sighed. "No, you're not. And you don't have to be. It took me far too long to realize that." She stepped back. Her tone was patient, understanding, and sad, but her words reminded her of her son. "You're so busy trying to save everyone you stand to lose yourself. Take care, please, if not for yourself, then so you will be stronger for them."

Uraraka's throat constricted as she painfully forced out the words, "Thank you," and then left.

The moment she got into the elevator, she collapsed against the wall. She had to throw one hand back to grab the railing to keep herself from falling to the ground and held another over her mouth to muffle a cry that threatened to escape. _Not now,_ she willed herself, squeezing her eyes shut to stop the tears. _Not here, not yet._ She didn't want to do this in public. She didn't want to do this at all. It was coming though, whether she liked it or not. The clumsily constructed floodgates were breaking and she had no idea what would come pouring through once they finally did or if she'd be able to stop.

She rushed out of the elevator as soon as the doors opened, bursting out of the building and storming to the car where Bakugou was waiting for her outside. "Hey," he started, but took one look at her and cut himself off. In another world, she would've reflected on how much self-control he had. However, right now, it was taking all of her willpower not to break down on the spot.

Not yet, not yet, Uraraka kept telling herself as she got in the car and hugged her legs to her chest.

Bakugou still said nothing when he got in the car and she told him in a choked up voice, "Home, please."

It was perhaps the last place she wanted to go right now. Trapped with all her memories of Deku and her old life with him, the good and the bad being used to twist him into a shadowed imitation of himself. It was the only place she could go. Her fallback was gone and her other friends… She didn't know. She was afraid of breaking down around any of them, even though she knew they would help her pick of the pieces. As lonely as she felt, a part of her felt like she should be alone.

Halfway to her apartment, Bakugou asked in a low voice, "Did you want me to stay?" When she didn't answer him and continued to stare out the window, having lulled herself into a false sense of piece using the scenery to clear her mind for the time being, he continued, "Did you want me to call someone?"

Uraraka chewed on her bottom lip, mulling over the two questions. It all came down to one thing: did she want him around or not. He would do either one without complaint. Even if it hurt him - even if it pained him to be close to her and unable to do anything to help her - even if it stung him if she wanted someone else - he would do it. The thought twisted her stomach until it made her feel sick all over again. If only Deku could see this side of Bakugou. He was rough around the edges, still blunt, but he was caring and determined and understanding. He might not like it, but he did what was necessary.

No, Deku could only see a monster. He could only remember Bakugou as he had been and probably worse. The truth was she didn't know entirely. She'd learned more about their history in the past few weeks than ever before, but she still didn't know because neither one of them talked about it. Just as Todoroki's past was coming back to haunt him, so was theirs.

"Can you call Iida?" Uraraka asked in a quiet voice. "If he's busy, it's fine-"

"Nah, he'll come," Bakugou interrupted her, not meanly.

She chanced a glass at his reflection in the window, but it was hard to read him as he sent Iida a quick text. Had she hurt his feelings? It wasn't that she didn't want him around. She did. Gods, she wanted him to stay more than anything. That was why he couldn't. That was why she needed him to stay away. It was for his own good. It was better that way. She'd put him in danger even more. She wanted him there for entirely selfish reasons - she wanted him to pull her into his arms and fight her fears and grief alongside her - but she couldn't do that.

To either him or Deku.

This wasn't fair at all. Why couldn't she simply live without having to worry about everything and everyone? It was making it harder to breathe every day. There were things that she couldn't get out of her head, things she knew came from her time with Deku and the villains. Maybe Recovery Girl was right. Maybe Rei Todoroki was as well. There was so much swirling around in her mind, demanding attention, and they were suffocating her.

"How bad was it?" Uraraka suddenly asked, still keeping her face turned away from him. Bakugou didn't answer right away. At first, she thought it was because her question was too vague. She could've been referring to how bad things had gotten while she was with Deku - how the media had turned against him and the heroes - but that wasn't what she meant. She started again in an attempt to make herself clearer, "With Deku-"

"I know what you were asking." Bakugou's tone was final, but what caught her off guard was how resigned it was too. He'd been waiting for this question and not looking forward to answering it. But he would. He would be honest with her - and himself.

His tone was what finally made her turn to look at him. His eyes remained on the road ahead of them as he drove, but his grip on the wheel was so tight that his knuckles were white and the muscles in his neck and face strained as he clenched his jaw. He might have been paying attention to the road, but his mind was elsewhere, somewhere in the past, and he didn't look like he was enjoying the trip down memory lane.

"It was bad, really fucking bad," Bakugou told her in that same tone. It was unforgiving in a way. He would not shy away from what he had done and what it had been like. "It was… I was awful - for no damn reason. I was a bastard to everyone, but with Deku, it was personal. I didn't hate him. I wasn't disgusted by him because he was quirkless. I was needlessly cruel to him for years and he never resented me for it, which made me angrier and treat him even worse. I was a nightmare to him. He should've hated me for it."

"Why?" Uraraka asked hollowly.

"Does it matter?" Bakugou responded. No, she supposed it didn't. Deku wouldn't take any excuses. "I bullied him for years. I pushed him aside. I knocked him down. I hurt him using my quirk because he didn't have one and I had to show him that I would always be better, stronger, more important than him." His eyes hardened into a glare, the anger now directed at himself. "I had everyone praising me all the time, even Deku. I was an idiot. It went to my head, but I could never shake the feeling that he was mocking me, like he would surpass me one day, and all that praise would be unfounded."

"That's silly," Uraraka said.

Bakugou barked a cold laugh. "It's fucking stupid. I was so insecure that I had to rub Deku's face in the mud. I had to keep breaking him down to make sure he could never become something more than me." He flexed his fingers on the steering wheel and then wiped his palms off on his pants. It was a hot August day, unforgiving as he was, but it wasn't only the heat that was generating his explosive sweat. "You know what's even worse. I was so afraid I made sure no one else would become friends with him either. I turned other kids against him, made it so they would laugh and bully him when I didn't feel like it, even though we'd been childhood friends. How much more of an asshole could I have been?"

The loneliness that Deku must have felt with the villains had been a part of him for longer than she'd known. Outside of Bakugou, he had not had true friends until UA, which was sad to think about considering how kind and supportive he was. He'd been such a great friend to all of them. Anyone that needed someone, he was there for them, no matter what. To think that Bakugou had purposely made sure Deku was alone…

Uraraka bit her lip. "The story… The one that Deku told right before I went with him…"

"It happened," Bakugou answered. "I know you want me to say that villain bastard put it in his head, but no, that was a real memory. It was the day I was attacked by the sludge villain and Deku ran out to save me despite being useless and quirkless. I destroyed one of his precious hero notebooks and told him the only way he could get a quirk was to throw himself off the building and kill himself in hopes of being born with one in the next life. He was so wounded and I laughed at him. I thought I was so clever. I put him in his place. I was the monster for Deku. Maybe not then, but Kyomu certainly brought it to life."

The reality was so harsh and cold that all Uraraka could do was hold a hand over her mouth and look at him with wide, watery eyes. Bakugou was pissed and wounded and scared. He'd done it. He'd done all of it. She wondered if he had ever forgiven himself even if Deku had. Maybe he'd never outright thought he was the awful things people made him out to be, but after years in the hero world, he came to learn the difference between right and wrong. He knew what he'd done and he knew it was bad and wrong. He knew it was almost villainous in kid standards.

"So yeah, Kyomu's got a lot of material with Todoroki and his history," Bakugou said, "but he's got a lot to work with Deku and me too. I did not make his life easy. I don't…" He furrowed his brow. "At that time, I don't know how I would've felt if he had jumped off that building."

Uraraka wanted to reach out and lay a hand over top one of his so he would relax his grip on the wheel, but she dropped her hand from her mouth to wring her hands together. She knew he would only flinch away from her touch right now and that would hurt her too. "You know what you felt when he fell off the roof."

"Yeah, fucking rage," Bakugou shot back, but then he immediately tensed up. "And shame. It was like watching him die all over again and being able to do jack shit to save him. It fucking sucked."

"I know the feeling," Uraraka told him. Taking a shaky breath, he slowly eased his grip and parked in a spot outside her building. After he put the car in park and turned it off, he looked over at her. He would never say it out loud, but she knew what that look in his eyes meant. He was asking for her forgiveness even if he didn't think he necessarily deserved it. "This isn't your fault."

Bakugou snorted. "Easy for you to say. He's not gunning to kill you."

"Yeah, he's gunning to kill you because he loves me," Uraraka retorted dryly. "So much better." He didn't respond to that, but she hadn't expected him to. There were some things that neither one of them were ready to talk about. Some of the stuff that Deku had said to her was still painfully fresh on her mind. "Hate, love, pain, joy - they're using it all to turn him against us. It doesn't matter."

After a moment of consideration, Bakugou said, "Maybe you should do the same as Todoroki's family. Get out of dodge. Take yourself out of the equation."

"I'm not leaving them behind," Uraraka told him flatly, "or you."

Judging by the way a mirthless smile twitched at his lips, Bakugou had expected as much. "Yeah, I didn't think so. You're a better hero than I am anyway."

In a way, Uraraka felt as if he'd slapped her in the face even though it was a compliment. "Don't say that. Don't even think that. You're an incredible hero. You're an inspiration."

"It's pretty hard to think that when I'm face-to-face with Deku." Bakugou's hands fell from the steering wheel and into his lap. He turned them over so they were palm up, looking down at them like they might give him some sort of answers. "I can't help but think… No, I don't have to think about it. I know it." She wanted to prompt him, but knew that this was something he needed to work out himself. "If it wasn't for me - if it wasn't for all the years I essentially tortured him because I was an insecure little shit - would they have been able to turn him into a villain? Would the quirk have worked on him?"

Uraraka knew better than to sugarcoat things in an attempt to soothe him. He had never done it for her, so she wouldn't for him either. "Probably not." He flinched slightly, but nodded his head. "But then he wouldn't have become the hero he did either. Despite what you did to him, he admired you. He respected your strength and considered you two equals at the end."

"But we weren't," Bakugou stressed angrily. "We were never equals. He was better than me then when he was quirkless and he was better than me when he was a hero and he's fucking better than me now as a villain and I-" He clenched his hands into fists, smoke smoldering out of them as he smothered tiny explosions. "And I have to beat him or he'll kill me. I can't let him do that. It's not that I don't want to die, but I fucking know that if he does succeed and he does kill me and you get him back, it'll just be one more thing I've done to hurt him and I can't do that. I can't fail him again."

This time, Uraraka did not hesitate to lay a hand over one of his fists. It was devastatingly hot from holding in his explosions, but he immediately deactivated his quirk at her soft touch. "I can't say that you won't. I honestly don't know what's going to happen if they manage to turn Shouto too. All I know is that you're not alone in this. We're in this fight together."

Bakugou peered at her sideways. "You better fucking know that too then. No more holding in shit." When she opened her mouth to protest, he cut her off. "I saw you when you walked out of Todoroki's place. You look like you've cracked and you're about to shatter. You wanna do that in the heat of battle?" She closed her mouth. No, no, she did not. "Iida is almost here. Talk to him. Cry your heart out. Do something. It's not gonna help you feel better, but you need it. You're strong, Uraraka, but you don't have to be a fucking fortress like me or Todoroki."

"And what about you?" Uraraka asked.

"Oh, me?" Bakugou snorted. "I'm gonna hit Kirishima up and pour my heart out to him." She knew he was lying. Maybe he would call Kirishima and she hoped that he did, but he wouldn't share his feelings to their fullest extent. "I should've talked about this a long time ago and it should've been with Deku, but I was a coward, okay? And it's biting me in the ass and punching me in the face. That's on me. My issues, his, Todoroki's, everyone else's - that is not on you, got it? You've got your own shit to deal with and you need to deal with it. No more hiding."

Uraraka nodded once decisively. No more hiding. She didn't feel any less scared to open up, but she knew that it had to be done. Too long she had been bottling things up, something she wasn't used to doing. She'd just wanted to be strong like everyone else, but no one had experienced the things she had. Glossing over it was only going to make things worse. If only the idea of talking about what had happened to her and how she felt didn't make her feel so sick.

Staring at Bakugou now, there were a hundred things she wanted to say, half of them she couldn't explain or didn't know how to, but the moment she started with, "I-" movement out of the corner of her eyes caught her attention. A nice car pulling up next to them that she immediately recognized as Iida's when she glanced at it. "I'll call you later, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Bakugou replied gruffly, turning his car back on.

Feeling him shut down, Uraraka reached out and touched his face, jerking his attention back to her. "I missed you."

It wasn't what she meant to say and it didn't even touch the peak of what she wanted to say, but there was really nothing else she could say. She _had_ missed him. It had only been a week, but with Deku and the villains, she'd felt like she was in a nightmare she couldn't wake from. _Let me go._ She pulled her hand away and sighed. Bakugou nodded distantly. She didn't know what else to do, but like he'd said, she had her own shit to deal with. She didn't need to take on his as well.

And so, without another word, Uraraka got out of the car and greeted Iida with a hug, burying her face in her friend's chest and clinging to him tightly as he returned the gesture. As they started up the stairs to her apartment, she heard Bakugou's car pulling away and turned to look back in time to see him turning into the street. This had been the longest day of her life and she was exhausted and stretched thin beyond her means, but at least she had Iida with her. She was afraid that Bakugou would not be so kind to himself after what he'd admitted to her.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes:** You know how characters just do their own thing? Yeah this is a result of that. I wanted a chapter where Uraraka could finally talk about her feelings and, to be honest, I thought there was going to be a lot more tears involved. I mean, there are - but this ended up being more about accepting the past and moving forward. Which is probably healthier for her in the long run. I blame Iida because he's such a good, compassionate friend. Thank you everyone for reading! I hope you enjoy this emotional ride of a chapter.

* * *

The first thing Uraraka did when she got into her place was change into pajamas. She needed a shower, but didn't have the energy for it. Iida was understanding. By the time she finished getting ready, he had a hot cup of tea made for her and had found a snack for her to eat. There wasn't much. She hadn't been around for a week and some of her food had gone bad in the process. He took care of it for her while she sat at the kitchen table, hands wrapped around the warm cup as steam rose, and watched him work silently.

Most people assumed Iida talked non-stop (which, in their defense, he did talk a lot, although she'd never minded it), but he knew the value of silence as well. She didn't want to talk about her feelings or how things had felt, not right now at least. She'd promised Bakugou that she wouldn't hide anymore and she intended on keeping that promise, but she didn't have to do it right away. She needed to rest. It had been over a week since she'd had a proper sleep and so much had happened.

Even if she was afraid of having a nightmare and her mind was running a thousand miles per hour trying to figure out what she could do and how worried she was, she knew that the second her head hit the pillow, she was going to be out like a light. She couldn't remember there ever being a time when she had been so worn thin. She didn't just feel exhausted; she felt utterly gutted, like every last drop of energy had been scraped out of her with a spoon.

"You should lay down," Iida told her as he sat down in the chair on her right. "I'll pick up around here."

Looking down at her reflection in the tea, Uraraka sighed. She looked awful. "You don't have to do that."

"I know," Iida replied, "but I want to. It's the least I can do." He frowned. "I haven't really been able to do anything."

Uraraka reached out to lay a hand over one of his. "Don't say that. You've done a lot."

"Have I though?" Iida shook his head and gave her a smile. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to push my insecurities on you. There's enough on your mind as it is. You don't need to worry about me too."

She was going to worry about him no matter what and vice versa. He'd been one of her staunchest supporters after Deku's death. He had never shaken the responsibility his role as class president had placed on his shoulders. Even now, he considered himself responsible for watching over them. He was like the big brother she never had, which was ironic since he was the youngest in his family. It was sweet. Sometimes he got a little overbearing, but he knew when to dial back as well.

"Get some rest," Iida said. "You need it."

That was an understatement. Uraraka didn't even have the energy to finish her tea. She mutely nodded her head and shuffled off to her bedroom. After shutting the door, she crawled into her bed and curled underneath the blanket until only her head was visible. The blanket was thick and soft, enveloping her like a warm cloud. She had always liked soft things and it turned out Deku did as well. His bed with the League had been smaller than this one and not nearly as soft. She couldn't imagine he slept comfortably. She certainly hadn't.

She could've told Iida he could leave, but she knew he wouldn't. They didn't want to leave her alone. How could she possibly explain that Deku wouldn't come? She didn't know where he was or what he was doing, but she felt like she knew what was thinking. Maybe it was self-centered of her to believe he was thinking about her, He could picture him lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering what she was doing and if she was thinking of him. She didn't know how she knew; she could just feel it.

The pro heroes had questioned why Deku had let go of her or if maybe he was moving on from his obsession. She knew it wasn't the case. They didn't understand him the same way they did - the way she did. Even Bakugou knew that wasn't the case. Deku had realized he couldn't win her over like this. He wasn't the giving up type though; he would find another way.

One way could be through Todoroki. Only time would tell.

Even though her mind was distracted with thoughts of Deku, within a minute, Uraraka was asleep. Her breathing evened out, her eyes closed, and she fell into a dreamless sleep. It seemed as if she was too tired have nightmares. She could be grateful for that. The time for nightmares would come later, but she needed to be well-rested if she was going to finally open up. She was going to need all the rest she could get if she was going to help come up with a plan.

Everyone had always known Deku was the planner, but she'd been with him long enough for it to have rubbed off on her too. He needed to watch his back. She was out for blood.

* * *

Uraraka hadn't seen Bakugou in almost two days. It hurt more than she wanted to admit. After over a week with Deku and villains, she had missed him, but also realized she needed space - from everyone. Iida and Tsu weren't typically people used to giving others space, but they were also her closest friends and seemed to catch onto it quickly, considering that she wasn't the type of person that usually wanted space. She knew that the time to open up was coming soon, but she needed to be alone to gather herself first.

And she was exhausted - beyond exhausted. If plus ultra could go the opposite way, that was how she felt. It wasn't a physical exhaustion so much as a mental one. She needed a damn break. The League's silence both discomforted her and gave her that. Both sides seemed to be regrouping and making plans. It was a time of unease and she knew, as much as hated it, she needed to take that time as well.

Bakugou must have sensed it. He'd called her shortly after she'd woken up. How he had known she was awake had confused her at first until she realized he must have been keeping in contact with Iida to check on her. Tsuyu did the same. It had been a brief conversation, him asking if she'd slept and letting her know they would be moving back to the safe house that had been set up as a base of operations by the end of the day. It had been devoid of the fierce warmth she had come to associate with him.

He was holding back. He was pulling away.

She idly thought Deku would be pleased with that development.

When Tsu and Tokoyami showed up to escort her and Iida to the safehouse, Uraraka had kind of expected to see Bakugou there, but he wasn't. She wanted to ask, but thought better of it. He must have been doing something other than running and hiding like she was. Iida had got her a new phone to make up for the one she'd lost during the attack over a week ago, luckily with the same number. She'd pay him back when she could. Normal things like repayment seemed so far away.

At the safe house, she instinctively kept checking her phone for new messages, half expecting Todoroki, only to remember he couldn't message her. She'd gotten used to being in consistent contact with him after Deku's death and even more so after his return. He hadn't come to the safehouse often, but had checked in more than Bakugou was doing now. Bakugou's check-ins had always been more sporadic. Still, she didn't feel like she was hearing from him as much either.

Maybe it only felt that way after being kept from contacting the outside world while with Deku or because he had been so focused on Bakugou's behavior with her that she couldn't help but overthink it now.

Either way it was frustrating and left her feeling bereft on the second day at the safehouse. Where was he? She didn't want to sound needy, but asking also made her feel like she was confirming Deku's fears, which was a mess in itself. He had really managed to get into her head. It was such a mess.

With two other pro heroes and Tokoyama with Dark Shadow patrolling the area outside, Uraraka sat curled up on the couch. For what felt like the hundredth time, she watched the cell phone footage of Deku's attack outside of Kaminari's apartment. Nothing of what they were saying outside could be heard except for when someone yelled. The man who filmed it was unconscious after taking some sort of poison developed by a quirk. They knew now he had been under Kyomu's quirk in order to film it so they could leak the footage to the press and taint the public's view of Deku.

There really was no going back for him now, was there? Not in the same way at least. It wasn't just the attack, but also the villain murders and the prison break on his hands too. No one would be able to look at Deku the same, even if he snapped out of Kyomu's hold and saved the day. It would essentially be him saving the day from himself if he did.

 _I know you'd say I didn't fail you,_ Uraraka thought as she watched herself plead with Deku on the cell screen, _but I can't help but feel like I made things worse._

She had enabled him and played along with his fantasy just long enough to give him a taste. He had let her go on that roof, but she felt as if he'd tied her to him even further. If he was going down, she was going down with him and she felt like she was drowning.

"Uraraka," Iida sighed when he spotted her on the couch, "you need to stop torturing yourself."

"Kind of hard not to," Uraraka mumbled. "All this time, he was out there, being tortured and molded into a villain, and we were here doing nothing."

"We did everything we could to find him," Iida told her gently as he sat down next to her. "You did that and more."

Uraraka pulled her legs up on the couch, wrapping an arm around them to hug them against her chest. "I know. I thought I was close to accepting that. Bakugou told me enough times to beat it into my thick skull."

"You're a little more hard-headed than we give you credit for," Iida replied.

"He said the same thing," Uraraka said with a tiny smile, "Deku too the few times we had disagreements, although I don't think anyone could be more stubborn than those two."

It wasn't a time to smile, especially with the footage looping again, but she was trying to remember what it felt like. The way the two of them could look at her the same but so different as well. How to smile. It was easier said than done. It wasn't to hide like someone might assume. In order to feel the bad, she had to feel the good too. She had been so afraid of spiraling into an emotional mess she had shut everything out. Now it was time to let it all back in and allow herself to feel everything.

There was no sense in lying: it wasn't going to be pretty.

Taking a deep breath, Uraraka leaned over and set her phone down on the coffee table. It had been the same one they'd placed Bakugou's laptop on in order to watch the video call from Deku at Kaminari's place. Sitting here now made that night feel like a nightmare. She was so relieved Kaminari was alive. Despite asking about his fate, Deku had avoided answering her every single time. She didn't know why he couldn't just tell her he'd spared Kaminari. It would have saved her a lot of stress and worrying.

Maybe he was a little ashamed - of hurting Kaminari or not following through with killing him. So far, he hadn't killed any one of their friends. It was perhaps her greatest fear. She could keep telling herself that she could bring him back, but if he did something like that, there was no way he would come out of this okay. He'd never forgive himself for hurting one of their own. She wasn't so sure he would now, even if he'd mostly killed villains. His moral compass had always been one of the strongest things about him.

"I thought I was okay, you know? I thought…" She wrapped her arms around her legs tighter and propped her chin on top of her knees. "It wasn't like I was ready to fully move on. I just thought maybe it was time I didn't let his death hold me back anymore. Stop using it as an excuse. He'd want me to do that." She hid her face in her knees, honestly embarrassed. "I guess I was wrong about that."

Iida shook his head. "No, you weren't. I know the villains told you this was Midoriya, but it's not. He would not have wanted you to put your life on hold forever because he was gone. He would not have told you who you could and couldn't spend your time with." His voice was firm and confident. She needed it, but she didn't lift her head just yet. "The last thing Midoriya was in your relationship was controlling. He let you flourish and live your life. It was important to him."

She had been a jealous person growing up, so a part of her understood where Deku was coming from. It made her blush whenever she thought back on it now. When Hatsume got too close to him or when she thought Utsushimi was interested in him, she had let her jealousy get the better of her and turn her into something pitiful and embarrassing. She didn't like being the focus of his jealousy made her uncomfortable and humiliated. Why had she been like that? It had distracted her from her goals. She wasn't like that anymore.

So of course it made perfect sense that Deku was consumed with jealousy now. Maybe he had realized his jealousy over her about Bakugou was distracting him from his goals with the League and that was why he had let her go. He had to set aside his feelings (his love) for her until he could complete that. Then he would be able to focus on her and their relationship. She could understand that too. He couldn't do what the League wanted and have her too. It was dividing him.

It was dividing them.

Deku had always been attentive with their relationship, even when he'd done hero work outside of the country for weeks at a time.

"I knew I wasn't his number one priority," Uraraka admitted, finally lifting her head, "but he never made me feel like I was second best. He made it so obvious that he loved me. His goals as a hero had come before me and they always would be - they made up who he was - but I loved that about him. It gave me the strength to do the same. We were heroes and a part of us would always belong to the public and our duties first. I didn't mind it. I didn't."

"Midoriya was fully committed to being a hero until the very end," Iida agreed. "When I heard what he'd done, I was so shocked I nearly collapsed. I felt like I couldn't breathe. There was no way… Out of everyone in our class, I honestly never he would be the first to give his life in the line of duty. I suppose it's foolish to think that now when I look back on our time at school. There were a number of times he could've died and he never hesitated when I would have."

"He was a hero right from the start," Uraraka said. "I mean, I know I wouldn't have been killed during the entrance exam, but at the time… He saved my life. No hesitation, no regard to himself."

Iida gave her a smile. "You saved him too."

Uraraka laughed softly. "Yeah, I did. It feels like we were always saving each other, even after graduation, like that time a villain interrupted our date." She gripped her legs tightly to the point where her fingers hurt. "Until I didn't."

"You never told me what happened," Iida said. "I know what happened - Todoroki told me - but we never talked about it together." He frowned deeply. "I hoped you would open up, but I didn't want to push you and then you never did. I still don't know if what I did was the right decision."

Giving a shrug of her shoulders, Uraraka said, "I couldn't tell you."

She chewed on her bottom lip in thought. The last time she had talked about that night, it had been with Bakugou on Deku's birthday, but they hadn't explored it in depth, just their regrets about if they could've done more to save him. She couldn't have said when she'd really talked about it - Todoroki didn't like talking about it either - so she just...didn't.

Iida watched her, patiently awaiting her decision. Uraraka let out a breath.

"You know, I can barely remember the villain," she started. "Every time I look back on that night, the first thing I remember was how much it was raining. It kept messing with Bakugou's and Todoroki's quirks. The villain's attack would've taken out an entire city - it was nuclear. I can't remember the details. All I remember is thinking none of us could reach him and he was going to kill so many people - and then Deku jumped. The strength of it knocked me over."

It hadn't been the first time his quirk had overpowered her in some way. They'd worked together often enough as heroes. He always apologized after. After years of using it, he knew his own strength. Normally it didn't bother her, but she had been so worn out that night, stretched to her limit. It was surprising the storm hadn't blown her over. He hadn't had the chance to apologize and he didn't upon taking her with him to the villains' lair.

"His attack took out the villain, but we had little time to celebrate when we realized he was falling fast and would land in the ocean. The waters were so bad. If he didn't drown, he'd be crushed against the cliffside. I told Bakugou to throw me as hard as he could with my quirk activated. If I could reach Deku and touch him - like I did during the entrance exam - he'd be okay. The rockets in my boots were shot so I figured one of Bakugou's explosions, even a small one, would get me there."

She hadn't been wrong. Bakugou had hesitated, looking at her like she was crazy (looking at her like he was _scared_ ), but then he had grabbed her in one hand and used his quirk in the other to propel himself around and throw her as hard as he could. She could still remember how _hot_ it had been. She'd been in close range of his quirk before and on the receiving end too when they were at U.A., but never like that. One second she'd been shivering from the cold rain and the next heat had burst behind her. It was only thanks to her skill with the rockets in her boots that she'd been able to navigate herself through the air to reach Deku.

"I didn't." Uraraka stared at the coffee table, although she wasn't really seeing it. "I was so close - centimeters away. I thought I was going to get him. I was so sure. I was so certain I'd save him because there was no other option. I would save him and then we'd go home together and curl up in bed and we'd talk about it until we fell asleep in each other's arms. But when I went to grab him, I only snatched air and he kept falling."

She could tell that Iida wanted to say something - probably that it wasn't her fault - but he stayed quiet. He'd grown up a lot over the years too, but he'd never lost his desire to take care of the people around him. It could be a friend or a total stranger. He would offer a hand to help them and do everything in his power to do so.

"My heart dropped and I released my quirk so I could too, but I-" Uraraka closed her eyes, but tears seeped out from underneath her eyelids anyway. "I was supposed to save him, but he saved me instead. He knew I wasn't going to make it to him in time, no matter what I did, and he used the last of his strength to push me back into the air away from the water." She put a hand over her face in an attempt to hide the way her lips twisted. "I was supposed to save him. Why couldn't I save him? And now…" She choked on a sob. "What kind of hero am I if I fail to save him again?"

Iida reached over to put a steadying hand on her shoulder. "You're an incredible hero, one of the best. I think he knows that even now."

Uraraka shook her head. "I just made things _worse_ for him." It hurt to admit it out loud, but that was what it felt like now that she had the time to look back on those days. "The more confused he got about what was real and what wasn't - the more confused about what he wanted - the more he relied on the villain's quirk to set things right and the more he dove into the fantasy created around him." Tears spilled down her cheeks. "He was so lost, Iida, and I was always supposed to be a guiding light to help lead him back home, but I couldn't. He didn't want to come back. He couldn't."

"That's not true," Iida insisted. "I saw the change in him during the last confrontation. When Kota used his quirk to stop him from killing Bakugou, there was something in his eyes that looked like the Midoriya I remembered."

Pulling her hand away from her face, Uraraka looked at him and precariously asked, "You saw that too? I thought, maybe, but I didn't want to look into things that weren't there." It was terrifying to cling onto anything that resembled hope, but Uraraka had always been a hopeful person and she held onto Iida's words with a desperate grip. "I saw it in his eyes - in his face - it was him. It was Deku. Then, on the rooftop, he told me I had to let him go. He left me and I don't know what to think. It was like watching him die and losing him all over again. How am I supposed to do that? Why would he say that to me? I thought…"

"It was him," Iida said. "I don't know how and I don't know why, but if only for a moment, Deku realized that what he was asking of you was wrong. If he truly loves you, he knows what he's doing will only tear you apart." He took his hand off her shoulder and fixed his glasses. "You know that saying? If you love someone, you'll let them go; and if they come back, then it'll prove they love you too. Yes, you might have asked him to take you, but that was it: he took you. He needs you to come back to him willingly."

Shame flared in Uraraka's mind as she quietly asked, "What if I don't want to? At least not in the way he wants?"

"Then that's your decision and it's one he has to accept," Iida told her. "If he loves you, he will. If he doesn't accept it, that's not love."

"It's just so hard to tell," Uraraka burst. She felt like she was a blank canvas and her emotions were being splattered against it. They were a mess, all over the place and mixed up, and hard to describe. "Kyomu's quirk messed with his mind and feelings so much. It's like he took Deku's love for me and made it ten times worse. You should've seen him when he thought I wanted to be with Bakugou. He was so hurt, but even worse, he was terrifying. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, but I'd never seen him like that before. It was _wrong._ "

Iida nodded. "I understand. Midoriya was ever a jealous person before."

"It wasn't in his nature," Uraraka said. "I don't know if it was just Bakugou or something else. For a moment, he seemed to not know how he felt about Shouto and I becoming closer friends after his death, but then he was always so…" She sank back in the couch. "He decided that Shouto was taking care of me as a friend, but his help was no longer necessary. It was weird. I think he missed him too." A strange look flickered across Iida's face, quick enough for her to miss it if she hadn't been looking at him, and she sat up. "The quirk forced him to stop thinking about you and Tsu as much. It's not that he didn't care or miss you at all. You just...weren't his focus."

"I'm not upset about that," Iida told her. She gave him a soft look of disbelief and he sighed. "I would consider him to be one of my closest friends. Some of my fondest memories are of him, Todoroki, and me. They became like brothers to me in their own way." She saw him move his hands and could tell he was actively stilling them. Some old habits died hard. "To have him not even look my way or consider me… I will admit it hurt. At first, I thought he believed I wasn't a threat, but then I realized he didn't even take note of me. It was like I wasn't even there."

This time it was Uraraka who laid a hand on top of his. "It's not like that. The quirk made him focus on me, Bakugou, Shouto."

"I know that now," Iida replied, "but it made me also realize the main villain doesn't consider me a threat to Midoriya."

"Then he's wrong," Uraraka insisted fiercely. "Deku loved you like a brother and best friend. Kyomu couldn't turn him against you, so he made it so that he didn't think of you much. You're a threat just as much as me, if not more because you're not fighting against his hate for Bakugou."

Iida took a deep breath and relaxed under her touch, accepting what she was saying, but she could tell that he was still struggling. "The last confrontation was different. He actually acknowledged me, but it was...almost formal? He didn't even go all out. I could tell right from the start. He wasn't toying with us, but he wasn't fighting to his full potential either."

"Neither was Bakugou," Uraraka added, "although he won't admit it."

"No, he wasn't," Iida agreed. "I've seen him go all out numerous times against Midoriya and this wasn't it."

Uraraka put her hands in her lap. "I think he's ashamed. We talked about what happened between them. He knows what he did was wrong and it humiliates him. He's afraid he's the reason Deku is like this." The problem was that she didn't think Deku would've become a hero in the first place if not for him either. Their relationship and history was complicated and messy. It had been a playground for someone like Kyomu, but she knew that the real Deku would've been heartbroken over his behavior towards Bakugou.

And she knew that Bakugou didn't want to hurt him, not truly, not again.

"I'm scared," Uraraka admitted. "I'm scared and confused and so…" She clenched her hands into fists. "I'm so angry. What they did to him - you have no idea. One second he was just as I remembered, so kind and sweet, and the next he was violent, volatile, and furious. He bounced from one extreme to the next."

"I can't imagine how painful it was seeing him like that," Iida murmured.

"They used me against him." Uraraka had to steady her breathing. "I thought I could bring him back, but it sent him further down." She held her face in her hands and let out a hot, heavy breath before pulling her hands away again and tilting her head back, her eyes wet with tears. "I don't know if he can come back from this and if he does it will never be the same. I think that's part of why he keeps running back to the villains. He knows his life with us is gone, but he can't fully accept it or he'll be totally adrift."

"We have to give him something to hold onto." Iida seemed so sure of himself. Uraraka didn't know how he did it, but she needed it more than he realized. Maybe she wasn't having the crying session Bakugou had imagined for her, but this was exactly what she had needed. Iida's hope, faith, and determination. He never stopped, even when it seemed like all was lost.

Still, he'd not seen what she had. He hadn't seen Deku murder a villain in cold blood. He hadn't seen the way the other villains deferred to him out of both fear and respect - and maybe even fondness. It couldn't all be fake, could it? They couldn't all be pretending to like him so he would stay on their side and not turn on them. She thought of the way Kurogiri had ruffled Deku's hair upon their return to the hideout, how Ikeda had teased him, and how Dabi had called him "boss" in that amused sort of way friends did.

The way Kyomu had calmed both him and Shouto down, like a father. Some of it had to be real, whether they had expected it or not. Deku drew people in, heroes and civilians and villains alike. He captured attention when he had spent his entire childhood quirkless and ignored. Uraraka didn't understand it at all. It wasn't his quirk that made him a hero.

It was simply who he was.

Except now he wasn't. He was a villain. Who did that make him now? Uraraka didn't know. He wasn't the only one who was being changed either. She didn't want to think about him, but she knew she would face him soon enough. There would be no escaping that fight.

"And then there's Shouto…" Her heart shot into her throat. "Deku was already under the quirk, but watching Shouto suffer through it and not being able to do anything killed me. Knowing he's there now with Deku probably watching on the sidelines…" She was so mad at him. How could Deku think this was okay? Was he really that lonely? Did he truly think Todoroki would be better off once it took him over? "I could see the change in him already." She peered at Iida sideways. "How much do you know about his history?"

Iida wore a somewhat ashamed look. "Enough. He never went into details, but we both come from families with strong hero legacies, so we eventually talked about it." He looked down at his hands. "I didn't know… After we started to become friends, I knew something was wrong. His behavior towards his father was much different from the way I am with mine and Tensei. I thought maybe it was just him, but I could feel something wrong. The weight he carried was much heavier than mine."

"I think he was ready to give into the quirk when I was there," Uraraka admitted. "It was like he was only holding out because I was there and he couldn't let me down, but it tricks you into thinking you need it - that everything Kyomu says is the truth and you need it to be happy. I don't know how else to explain it, but it's quite possibly the worst thing to happen for Shouto because he _will_ feel better. He won't want to go back to the way things were before. It was a lot of hard work to heal. Sometimes it's easier to leave the wound open and that quirk tore him right back up."

"We'll get them back," Iida reassured her. He meant it with everything in him. She saw the determination in his eyes behind his glasses and the way his jaw was set. It was either get them back or die trying. It was what Deku would do in their shoes. "I wasn't there to save him the first time, not that I would've been able to do much, and every time there's a confrontation, it's like he's avoiding me. I don't know if it's the quirk or something else."

Uraraka thought back to the times she met Kyomu. "I know he couldn't force Deku to kill you or Tsu. Neither one of you did anything awful he could manipulate that severely."

"I know a few things he could twist," Iida said. She furrowed her brow at him. "Our first Sports Festival when I wouldn't work with him and" - he looked away from her - "the Stain incident."

Ah, yes, that was complicated. "Deku told me about it."

Iida grimaced. "Not one of my finer points."

"It seems like the Deku now would get along with Stain," Uraraka sighed. "You should've heard what he was saying about hero society. I hate admitting it, but he made sense at times." She looked down at her hands. "I guess that's what really shakes me up: that he was still making sense even when he was acting wildly out of character - that he still wants to do good while committing horrific crimes - that he's still him when he isn't."

Sitting up straight, Iida proclaimed, "The real Midoriya is still in there and we'll get him back. We'll save Todoroki too - from the villains, his past, and himself. We're heroes. It's what we do."

"What if it's not enough?" Uraraka asked.

"Then we try again until it is." Iida made it sound so simple, although they both knew it wasn't. There also wasn't another option. Either they kept fighting or they gave up - and heroes did not give up. Villains had the option of retreating, but heroes did not. Uraraka knew that she would not rest fully until this was finished. She was scaling a wall of epic proportions with no rope or anything to protect her should she fall.

She was used to falling. She dreamed about it often enough.

Before she could thank Iida for giving her exactly what she'd needed - what she'd denied herself - a phone rang in the air, startling the both of them. Uraraka's first instinct was to grab her phone off the coffee table, but when it lied dormant in her hand, they realized it was his phone ringing. Iida pulled it from his pocket, but then hesitated and furrowed his brow when he looked at the caller ID.

"Who is it?" Uraraka asked.

"I...don't know," Iida said carefully.

Uraraka's heart skipped a beat. "Deku."

Iida looked up at her, an alarmed expression on his face. "Why would he be calling me? Why now? You said it yourself: the quirk is pushing me to the side in his mind."

"Maybe not for much longer after that last fight," Uraraka said. Her eyes dropped down to the phone. She couldn't know it was him and yet she did. It was Deku. It couldn't be anyone else. "You were bound to become a problem eventually. It might be easier if you were dealt with sooner than later."

Swallowing his anxieties, his Adam's apple bobbing, Iida answered the phone call near its last ring and pressed the speaker button, hold it out between them. "Hello?"

"Why do you sound so unsure? You know it's me."

Uraraka closed her eyes. It was Deku, just as she'd suspected. She couldn't breathe. Just hearing his voice made her want to tremble. She snatched her phone from the table and sent a text to Tokoyami, Aizawa, and Naomasa letting them know he was in contact with them.

"Why are you calling me, Midoriya?" Iida asked in a tone much stronger than she felt - and he looked.

"I can't call an old friend?"

Iida stiffened. "No, you can't. What do you want?"

There was a pause on the other end that lasted almost thirty seconds, but before Iida could prompt him, Deku abruptly continued, "I just wanted to thank you." His voice was much more subdued now, like he was trying to stay quiet and calm.

Her mind raced. Did the other villains know he was calling Iida? She had a feeling that Deku sometimes did things they weren't aware of, things that tied him back to his old life. Had they known about him watching her from a distance? They'd given him photos to look at and motivate him and his hatred for Bakugou, but it hadn't been enough for him. His love ( his obsession) had become too great for them to completely control.

"Thank me for what?" Iida asked.

"For reminding me what a true hero is," Deku said. The stunned look on Iida's face said it all: Deku's words were like a punch to the gut. They should've been good, but they still hurt considering the situation. "I'd kind of lost hope that there were still any out there, but I should've known… I should've remembered you would be one. I don't know why I forgot."

 _Because you're being manipulated!_ Uraraka wanted to scream, but her mouth was dry and her throat constricted.

Iida's grip on his phone tightened even as his voice softened: "It was all thanks to you. After all, you helped inspire me to become the hero I am today."

"You're gonna make me blush," Deku laughed. He didn't sound amused though. He sounded...sad.

Iida must have heard it too. He looked sad as well. This was his friend. "Izuku."

"I've really messed up with her, haven't I, Tenya?" Deku said, suddenly switching gears. This wasn't sadness. No, it was pain. "I don't know what to do. Shouto says… Shouto says a lot of stuff right now. Well, not a lot - he's never been talkative, as you know. He's a bit confused right now. I guess I am too." He chuckled, but there was no humor in it. "Ochako would say it was the quirk talking. Maybe she's right! I just… I miss her. I miss her smile and her laugh. I thought I'd be okay once she was here, but it didn't feel the way I pictured. She wasn't happy and I want her to be happy. I want her-"

"Stop," Iida interrupted. "You need to breathe. You're spiraling."

Deku laughed nervously. "You're right. I am."

"If you truly want Ochako to be happy, you'd turn yourself in," Iida told him.

"You know it's not that simple."

"Isn't it?" Iida closed his eyes. "Just come back. She misses you too. We all do."

There was another pause and then Deku sighed. "You're terrible at this, you know?"

Iida frowned down at the phone. "What-?"

"Trying to convince me to come back when you know damn well I can't," Deku interrupted, his voice suddenly cold. It sent chills down Uraraka's spine. "I wasn't lying about what I said. I want Ochako to be happy and I want her to be with me. I can't lose sight of my other goals too. She understands that." It wasn't that she was second best or not his first priority. There was always something larger in Deku's life, bigger than her and him. "See, I told you he'd try again to convince me to stop."

"Who are-?"

"Oh, I'm with Shouto," Deku cut in casually. "Say hi, Shouto. I'm sure Ochako is worried and wants to hear your voice to make sure you're okay."

Her heart shot into her throat. Of course he knew she was here. Of course he knew she was listening in on the conversation. What didn't he know? What did he not anticipate? He'd known them for years and had gathered information on all their skills and habits.

She almost whimpered and even the phone began to shake in Iida's hand when Shouto's voice was heard on the other end, "Uraraka. Iida." It was terribly even. Once upon a time, she would've believed that meant he was doing good and holding out - he was strong - but right now she knew it was a sign that something was horribly wrong. He shouldn't sound like that. He shouldn't sound like he wasn't struggling. The last time she'd seen him, his voice had been wavering.

"We miss you, Ochako," Deku said when he took the phone back, "but we'll see you soon. We've just got some business we have to take care of first. I have to work on this and then we can work on us. We'll be happy again. I promise." She should say something - he wanted her to say something - but she pressed her lips together and stayed quiet. "You're not going to say anything? I know you're there. That safehouse isn't as comfortable as our apartment, is it?"

Uraraka's blood chilled in her veins and her mouth dried. Iida flinched and began to look around as if Deku was going to walk into the living room like a ghost.

"Don't worry," Deku said dismissively, which only made her worry more. "We're not going to mess with it. I'd rather you stay there. I don't want you to get hurt anymore." That didn't make her feel better. If anything it scared her more to know he'd known she was here and hadn't done anything. It made her feel like a caged animal. "This has been hard for all of us. I understand. Leaving you with Kacchan was… It was difficult. Painful. I didn't want to let you go, but I have to for now. You're better not in the middle. I love you - maybe too much. I don't know."

"If you loved her," Iida said, "then you wouldn't be torturing her like this."

Silence hung heavy over them. She could feel Deku thinking on the other side. She held her breath and waited.

"I know."

And then Deku hung up.

Iida and Uraraka looked at each other. Less than a minute later, there was a knock on the door, the rapping a certain beat, and then it opened to reveal Bakugou walking inside. He looked irritated and frazzled, but not as much as he would have been had he shown upon a few minutes ago. He froze when they turned to look at him, catching sight of their matching faces.

"What?" he demanded.

"Where have you been?" Uraraka blurted out. It wasn't what she'd meant to say, but the question bubbled to the surface without a thought. It was what she wanted to know.

Bakugou ran his fingers through his messy blonde hair. "We had to relocate Kota on top of Todoroki's family. You should've seen the stink Endeavor put up. He's being taken off as a lead." An ugly sneer crossed Bakugou's face. "It's not a lot of fun when people think you're a target. He's pissed. Dealing with him is worse than-" His eyes finally landed on the phone Iida was still holding out between him and Uraraka and he narrowed his gaze. It didn't take him long to come up with an idea about what just happened.

Uraraka confirmed it for him anyway. "It was him. We alerted the others, but he knows about this place."

"Fuck!" Bakugou swore, slamming the door shut hard enough to make the old house rattle. "Where is he?"

"I...think I might have an idea," Uraraka said hesitantly. She held out her hand to Iida. "May I?" Iida gave her a confused look, but then caught on to what she was asking and gave her his cellphone. She pulled up the info on the most recent call on it and then her contact list on her phone. "I thought it looked familiar."

"What?" Bakugou questioned.

Uraraka turned her attention back to him. "The phone number Deku used to call Iida. He didn't recognize it, but I knew I'd seen it before." She gave her phone to Iida for him to look at. "It's Kota's number. Deku took his phone when we met him in the park. He still has it on him - and it's turned on."


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes:** I finished this chapter and posted it with just two minutes before I boarded a plane, so I'm sure there are typos. I'll get around to fixing them eventually.

* * *

"It's true this is our first lead in this case," Naomasa said after everything had been explained to him, "but there's one glaring problem we have to consider before we do anything."

Bakugou crossed his arms over his chest. "It's obviously a trap."

Naomasa nodded. "It does appear to be one, yes."

Uraraka chewed on her bottom lip, but she didn't argue with the conclusion. She hadn't wanted to believe it at first, but during the time it took for the others to reach the (not-so) safehouse, she had started to believe it too. There was no way Deku would make a mistake like that. Even if Uraraka hadn't been there to confirm the number was Kota's, it would've taken a simple search in the phone database for the police to link it.

He could've hid it somehow by changing it to a private number or use an untraceable phone, but he'd used Kota's, knowing full well that they were using all their resources to search for him - to search for Todoroki. They could use Kota's phone to do just that, which he would know. He was counting on them to do it. Once again, he was in control of the situation and they could either play to it, as they had done when they'd rushed to save Kaminari, or they could ignore it.

If only there was some way they could work around it - use the information to help them, but not in the way Deku wanted or expected…

A frown had been on Iida's face since the phone call ended. "Does that mean the information is worthless?"

"We can't fucking use it, so what do you think?" Bakugou bit back.

"I'm not suggesting we walk up to the front door of the phone's location," Iida replied, not raising his voice. He would not be pushed by Bakugou. "We could still potentially check out the area, couldn't we?"

Stroking his chin thoughtfully, Naomasa added, "Depending on the location, it could work to our advantage to send a small incognito team in to scout the area, especially if it's populated." Iida nodded while Bakugou pressed his lips into a thin line, his silence one of approval.

It was Uraraka that came to the unfortunate realization first. "It can't be any of us then." Bakugou opened his mouth to argue (he had to be a part of everything), but she cut in before he could speak, "They'll recognize us a mile away even with disguises and you know it. Plus, you're a target. They'll be on the lookout for you. Deku is probably counting on you to shove your way in like usual."

Todoroki as well, although none of them said it. If he was changed - if he had been turned - there was no saying what his feelings about Bakugou would be now. Considering that Deku was his best friend, she didn't think they would be very positive.

"The team would have to consist of people that Deku isn't familiar with," Naomasa pointed out. "We can pull from some lesser known heroes or maybe side kicks. The whole point would be to do this without confrontation."

"Tooru would be a great addition," Uraraka piped up. "I don't know any hero better at stealth than her."

"Well, she's invisible, so I'd hope so," Bakugou grumbled under his breath. Uraraka knew that he wasn't insulting one of her friends and their old classmate, but she still shot him a glare. He shrugged his shoulders. Some might have taken it as a sign of dismissiveness, but that gesture combined with a lack of a glare was his version of an apology. He didn't mean to come off as insulting. It was simply a blunt thought spoken out loud.

Naomasa nodded once in confirmation, ignoring Bakugou's comment. "That's a good idea. If we do this, I'd like to a team with quirks focused on surveillance instead of combat. Heroes aren't typically known for that, but I've got a few people on my side worth looking into."

No, heroes were more of the brash type that jumped into a fight when necessary - the ones that faced off with the villains and saved the day. It was hard to be a hero without a flashy quirk. For Uraraka, it had taken her at least two years before she'd really started to grow into her quirk and be able to use it while fighting. Deku had been forced to learn a whole new style in order to use his their first year.

However, there was so much more work into being a hero than throwing a punch. They'd learned that while at U.A., having been taught by Aizawa well. His erasing quirk was incredible, but he had to be clever and quick on his feet and mind in order to do real damage. He'd had to learn other techniques in order to be a hero that were more than just punching, exploding, and fighting - and techniques in order to do those things.

Stealth, observing, taking in the scene - these were things a hero needed to be capable of doing as well. Out of everyone in their class, no one had come close to Tooru and Jirou in those areas. Their quirks enabled them to get a better picture of scenes before a fight and get the upper hand with more information. Uraraka knew thanks to a brief visit that Jirou was itching to get involved again. Her broken leg had taken her out of commission for almost the entirety of the fight outside of Kaminari's apartment and she was angry over it.

Uraraka glanced at Iida, who was staring determinedly down at his phone, and then Bakugou, who was heatedly talking with Naomasa over their situation of the compromised safehouse.

They were all angry about this.

After putting his hat back on, Naomasa shook Bakugou's hand. "I'll discuss other options with the others when I get back to the station." He furrowed his brow. "I'm curious about how long the villains have known about this place. If it's been a while, it makes me wonder if they really don't plan on attacking it."

"Not until he's ready," Bakugou answered darkly. "Deku won't make a move until he thinks he's won completely."

Until Bakugou was dead, was what he meant and they all knew it.

After Naomasa left, Tokoyami, who had been silent the entire time, unfolded himself from his place in the dark corner of the cabin near the window. "I should get back out there."

Bakugou nodded, too lost in thought to say much else. Dark Shadow had been keeping an eye out for them while he had been inside. It seemed somewhat pointless if Deku had said they didn't plan on attacking them, but then Tokoyami had pointed out that might mean the other side had someone doing doing surveillance on them. It was point that left them all sitting with unease filling their guts.

"Thank you, Tokoyami," Uraraka said in Bakugou's place. "We really appreciate your help out here."

"Of course," he replied, as if being here was the only option. "Midoriya made a huge impression as a hero. The fact that he is being forced to do so under the guise of being a villain is a travesty we must fix. His legacy, whatever it may be after this is over, will shape the course of hero history."

Another heavy notion that none of them had truly considered. Even Iida looked disappointed in himself. Uraraka pat his hand. He was taking this whole thing with Deku very personally, but it was difficult not to do so. As Tokoyami had pointed out, Deku was a fixture on all their lives. It was obvious in Uraraka's case, but Deku had been like a brother to Iida and a force of nature that helped shape Bakugou's life whether he wanted it or not.

With such a deep acknowledgement hanging over them, Bakugou was eyeing Tokoyami now, a distant look of disdain on his face, but he didn't disagree. Deku had helped all of them in some way during key moments in their lives, none more so than him. No one would bring it up, but Uraraka didn't they need to anymore. He had brought up how much Deku's change had affected him. No, he hadn't completely opened up to her - she knew there were things he was holding back, things only meant for him and Deku - but it was something.

She just hoped Deku gave Bakugou the chance to say those things to him. She hoped Bakugou was strong enough to admit everything to Deku when the time came. At the end of the day, Uraraka wasn't sure if this whole thing was about her so much as about them, as it had always been in the very beginning. The fated battle between men. It had become something of an inside joke in high school, but now it felt real.

And dangerous. Very dangerous. This fated battle could bring cities to its knees. It had dragged so many of them in too deep already as it was. She'd never planned on getting in the middle of whatever was Deku and Bakugou, but she would throw herself between them if it meant saving them and everyone else. It was the last place anyone wanted her to be and the one most likely to get her killed, but she knew it was where she had to go.

Besides, Deku had brought her into this. If he was so determined to pin the change between them on Bakugou, she had to show him the truth. She had done it herself. In order to save herself, in order to move on, in order to become the hero Deku, Bakugou, her parents knew she could be. In order to be the person she wanted to be. This was her move. Her decision.

It was her life - and she'd be damned if she was just a damsel or a side player in it.

"I agree that we should find a new location," Tokoyami added as he grabbed the doorknob. "I'm not fond of the idea that we're being watched."

"It puts us at another disadvantage," Iida agreed.

"It pisses me the hell off," Bakugou grumbled.

Iida stood up from the couch and looked out the window Tokoyami had been standing by earlier. "I have been wondering who it might be watching us. Do you recall that shadow villain? It seems like surveillance would be in his skillset."

Bakugou rolled his head to pop his neck. "How could I forget? His fucking quirk almost got us killed twice." He wore a very disgruntled look. "There's the dark and there was that dark. It was weird. It was like…" The fact that he was struggling to come up with words meant that it had troubled him more than he was trying to let on. He darted his gaze away from her when he caught her watching him. "It was like not existing."

"Kuroiri would be a perfect foil for him," Tokoyami pointed out.

"Maybe we should call him up because that guy is annoying as hell," Bakugou said, huffing in irritation. Short of Aizawa using his quirk, it was hard to counter him. Uraraka had only dealt with him a little during their fight while Bakugou and the others had been in the thick of it. While the villain's shadows could grab them, none of them had been able to physically attack them in return. It would also give him an edge on hiding. Wherever it was dark, he would be able to blend in.

A villain could be anywhere out there, watching them, biding his time until he was given the signal to attack.

So much for this being a safehouse. She certainly didn't feel safe even with Deku's reassurances - perhaps because of them.

"Last I heard, he was working in China," Tokoyami said as he opened the door and looked out.

Dark Shadow returned to him and promptly reported, "It's all quiet, same as before." Somehow, the bird-shaped shadow seemed to frown. He was large at the moment, the night giving him strength. Tokoyami had gotten much more capable and stronger as well in handling the sentient being that made up his quirk. If that shadow villain was out there, for now, Tokoyami was their best bet. "I don't like it."

"Neither do I," Tokoyami admitted. He nodded to the three of them in the cabin and then stepped fully outside, shutting the door behind him and leaving the three to consider their options.

Iida turned away from the window. "You should get some rest, Uraraka." She bit her lip. "You've been watching that video on repeat and I know for a fact that you didn't sleep last time you said you did."

Well, he got her there. She must not have been quiet enough in the bedroom. Either that or the dark circles that had seemingly formed a permanent residence under her eyes since Deku's return had grown more prominent. She knew he was right. If they were to encounter the League at any point, she needed to be in tip top shape. That meant being well-rested, even if she didn't feel like she ever wanted to sleep again.

It had been...strange - coming back and not sleeping next to Deku. After almost eleven months without him, she had finally grown used to sleeping alone. It had been difficult for the longest time to get any proper rest. Even though his hero work took him out of the country and away for extended periods of time, she always knew he would be back home to sleep next to her.

And, oh, how well she slept when he did. Deku loved cuddling as much as she did. Most of the time he wrapped himself around her and held her tightly against him. No matter what, they always woke up in a tangle of limbs anyway. On the nights he came back, she loved to hold him and he never minded being the little spoon even if he was bigger than her now. There was something so sweet about the way he would let her wrap her arms around him and press his chest against his back. It was such a vulnerable and open position. He trusted her to do that.

When he'd taken her with him to the League's hideout and locked her away for safekeeping in his bedroom, Deku had done much the same. He'd held onto her like he was afraid she would disappear if he let go, resting his head on her stomach so she could run her fingers through his hair and soothe him to sleep. She used to do that on those rough nights when he couldn't save everyone - when he dragged himself home, a hero to many but feeling like a failure to himself. He needed her to protect him from himself. He needed her to hold him, like everything was going to be okay and the world would right itself.

Coming back from her time with the League threw her off. Sure, there had been a few times when she'd dozed off on the cot in that cell, but she'd spent a lot of time in that bedroom alone or with Deku. The few times they'd slept in the same bed had brought all those old memories of them together back to the forefront of her mind. It was like he'd never gone. He smelled the same, molded against her body the same, wrapped himself around her the same, trusted her the same.

Now she was alone again and she was forced to face reality the same as Deku: they couldn't be with each other again, not with the way things were now.

He thought that meant taking care of his business with the League and then working on their relationship after. He'd be able to focus more on her. It was like when they'd been together all over again. She hadn't minded that his role as a hero was his number one focus. She did mind that his role as a villain took priority. Was it hypocritical of her? He'd probably think so with the way his mind worked (or didn't work) at the moment.

"I'll check it first," Bakugou muttered, sounding like it was more out of habit than actual want.

Uraraka bristled at his tone as she got up from the couch. "No need. I can do it myself."

"I know you can," Bakugou replied without looking back as he walked into the hallway. The way he said it made her hesitate. He wasn't trying to argue with her; he was just stating a fact. He knew she could take care of herself. He knew she could fight back if, by some wild and absurd chance, there was a villain waiting to pounce on her in the bedroom. He knew she didn't need him.

He wanted to do it anyway.

"I'll be out here if you need me," Iida told her, laying a hand on her shoulder as she passed him. "I need to make a few calls to update the others."

"Thanks," Uraraka said, hoping he knew she meant it for more than just the way he was coordinating things. There was a lot on his shoulders right now, some of them placed there himself, but like the rest of them, he would carry that weight until this was seen through. For some of them, that weight would never leave entirely. She glanced at Bakugou's back before he disappeared around the corner. His shoulder seemed slumped more than usual. He had even been mostly subdued when Detective Naomasa showed up.

This was taking much more of a toll on him than he wanted to admit.

When Uraraka entered the bedroom, Bakugou was standing at the window, peering through the blinds with one hand and massaging his temple with the other. Iida had called her out on failing to sleep properly when he should have said the same thing to Bakugou. He was clearly burning the candle at both ends despite telling her not to do the same. He must've heard the door open because he turned to glance at her and then quickly looked away. Her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach. As busy as he might have been getting stuff done, he was avoiding her and it stung bitterly.

"So are we back at this stage again?" Uraraka asked, shutting the door.

"What stage?" Bakugou asked flatly, still not looking at her.

Uraraka put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "You know, where you have this huge wall built up around you covered with landmines that might set off an explosive reaction and knock me down, forcing me to start climbing all over again." She was not going to look away until he faced her. She was tired, worn thin, emotionally all over the place, and simply done. At least Deku was honest about how he felt, even if it confused her and might not entirely been him. "Because I can't do it right now. I don't have it in me and I'm sorry, but it's bullshit. I don't know what I did to make you clam up on me again, but I don't need it."

"You didn't-" Bakugou jerked around to face her. He averted his gaze one before taking a begrudging breath and lifting his eyes to hers. There was so much fire in them that she almost had to blink. "You didn't do anything."

"Great." Uraraka threw her hands in the air and stomped toward the bed. "That tells me a whole lot."

Bakugou narrowed his eyes. "Look, it's not-" He ran a hand through his hair. "It's not easy dealing with this shit. It's frustrating as hell knowing that half of what's happened is because I- Because I gave a damn about you." He didn't look away from her, even though she could tell that he wanted to, but he wasn't the type of person that looked away from his problems. No, he faced them head on. "I didn't do it the way Deku would have - and I don't- I don't know. I'm not him. It's different and I didn't plan on any of this shit. All I knew was that he didn't want you to drown with him and I had to make sure you didn't. Everything else… I don't know what the hell happened."

"Not everything can go according to plan or how we think it should," Uraraka told him gently. "I think Deku's death - at least what we thought was his death - taught us that."

"It wasn't supposed to be like that," Bakugou mumbled furiously, rubbing his head again. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. He wasn't supposed to fall at all and he just keeps falling and I can't- I told him-" He clenched his hands into fists, like he might strike something. Uraraka didn't move. He wouldn't hurt her. Instead of exploding though, he took a deep breath and relaxed his hands. He'd grown up too since high school. "It should've been me."

For some reason, that simple comment made Uraraka wince. "Bakugou-"

"I mean, I always figured I'd have a hero's death, you know?" he continued, moving his left hand to shield his eyes and half his face. She could still see his mouth - the way his lips twisted into a pained sneer. "When I was older, of course. I couldn't imagine going out any other way. Then there was Deku, sacrificing himself so fucking young. What a goddamn waste. Of course he would though. Of course he'd do that without hesitating. I should have done the same, but I wasn't ready."

"You were at your quirk's limit," Uraraka reminded him. "Saving me put you out of commission for days even with medical attention."

Bakugou started to laugh, but there was no sound. "I should have done it anyways, but that fucking nerd knew no one else would or could step up to the plate to die in order to save everyone." There were no tears streaming down his face from underneath his hands, but she thought there should have been. Even now, he was holding himself back. It appeared as if his mind was as fractured as hers. "You know what Todoroki told me at the funeral? That he felt guilty for doing so little to help me. As if I would've made it after getting you without that bit of ice to land on. He passed out on his face after and he apologized to me. When will I ever be that fucking strong?"

"You _are_ strong!" Uraraka insisted, genuinely devastated that he was still struggling with this. They had all worked so hard on fighting the issues they'd suffered with during high school. She had thought Bakugou had worked through his own issues, but maybe this fight with Deku and now potentially Todoroki was bringing all of that to the forefront again. After all, he'd be fighting them once more, except this time, it was real life. It wouldn't be for the Sports Festival.

"I have to be stronger," Bakugou declared, half to himself. "I have to be better. I have to-" He stopped. There was a slight tremble to the hand covering his face. She wasn't sure what that meant. Was it anger? Grief? Fear? He would never admit to any of them, which made her think it was a terrible combination. His hand fell to his side. The look on his face was startling in that there wasn't one. It was simply resignation. "I have to fix this."

"You didn't cause this to happen," Uraraka reminded him gently. She moved to lay a hand on his arm and hesitated for a moment, wondering if it was the right move - if she should - before deciding it didn't matter. Who was there to hold her back? What was there in between them? Deku's jealousy and anger? Was she supposed to dictate the rest of her life based around the wants and desires of other people?

The moment she touched his arm, Bakugou looked down at her hand, looking at it like she'd never been so close to him before and he didn't know what to do. Neither one of them said anything, soaking in the moment and the feeling of the tension slowly bleeding out of the air. She could practically feel it leaving Bakugou's body, the muscles in his arm becoming more lax as the seconds ticked by until finally there was nothing left. He was always so tense, even when he seemed relaxed. It was going to hurt him one of these days.

"It's stupid," Bakugou abruptly said, his voice little more than a rasp. "It's stupid and I hate it." She wasn't quite sure what he was talking about, but then, in her heart, she did. There was nothing she could say that would make him feel better and the same went for him. "I wasn't ready - and I knew you weren't. The timing is so piss poor. I could punch Deku in the face for doing this, but then he'd be right, wouldn't he?"

Uraraka dropped her eyes from his face, moving down to his free hand. He was holding it out slightly, palm up, and she knew what he was asking of her. He wouldn't push it further. It was her choice. In his mind, it would always be her choice. That was what Deku was missing in this whole picture. Bakugou wasn't trying to take her away from him. She had to decide whether or not she wanted to move on. She hadn't known. Bakugou was right: she wasn't ready. Deku had forced all of their hands.

She took Bakugou's free hand and he closed his eyes, a pained look flashing across his face for a second and then it was gone. Like this hurt him. She didn't know how to make it better - any of this - but she knew what he would say if she asked what she could do. It wasn't on her. This one was on him.

"Did you…?" Uraraka didn't know what she was asking. She didn't know why she was asking anything. She didn't have to: she knew. As much as she'd denied it to Deku, it was hard to ignore that warm, consuming feeling in her chest now.

"It doesn't really matter now, does it?" Bakugou said, his thumb swirling over of the back of her hand, the texture on his fingertip rough and calloused from years of quirk use. He opened his eyes, keeping them trained away from her face. "This isn't like the movies where two people come together through some traumatic event and live happily ever after. I never understood that. It was stupid. Wouldn't they just be reminded of that shitty time every time they looked at each other?"

Wouldn't the relationship be tainted? Every time Uraraka looked at Bakugou, would she think about what Deku had put them through? The pain in Deku's eyes, the betrayal in his voice, the wanting in his touch, the rage in his actions? Would she look at Bakugou and think of Deku's accusations?

He wasn't right - but he wasn't wrong either. Uraraka swore she only saw him, but it was hard not to think of those things either.

"At the end of the day, it's always gonna come back to this," Bakugou said, the anger finally evident in his voice. "He ruined everything and I can't even be mad about it because then he'll be right. He won and he knows it. He's always one step ahead of me."

Uraraka wasn't sure who Bakugou was angry with right now: himself, Deku, or the villain behind it all. It was hard to say. He was always the hardest on himself. Everyone assumed he was so confident and never doubted himself, but that wasn't the case at all. He pushed himself to his very limit every day because he had to be more and he had to be better or he was a failure. Absolutely no one was a harsher critic of Bakugou than he was - and that was saying something since Deku was out there trying to kill him.

"It's like he killed something before it even started and I'm pissed, but it's not even his fault," Bakugou sighed. He shook his head. "Some bastard is manipulating memories involving me - probably some of you too. The real Deku - the hero, the person, the...friend - he wouldn't do this and I know it, so I can't hate him. I can't be upset with him, not really."

"I thought you'd say he should be stronger," Uraraka murmured, "that you wouldn't be so weak."

Bakugou's gaze hardened. "Todoroki is strong. I know that. I hate saying it, but he's strong as fuck. Maybe stronger than me on some days." He took a measured breath, but it looked like it pained him to breath, much more so to speak. "We don't know how long Deku lasted before he completely broke, but it wasn't until eight months after his...disappearance when the first murder happened. It's been - what? - ten days since you and Todoroki were taken? And you already think he might've fallen victim to it?" There was a troubled almost confused look on his face. "I don't know how long I would've lasted."

"It's not…" Uraraka struggled to find the words. There were a lot of implications, most of them only vague concepts since she wasn't sure exactly how the quirk worked, only the basics. "Like I said, I think some people are more susceptible to the quirk than others. You might not have been able to take it at all. After all, the first League tried to turn you and it didn't work."

"Well, I'm better at one thing than Deku," Bakugou replied with a snort. "I'm more of a stubborn bastard."

Uraraka jerked her hand out of Bakugou's gentle hold and sharply snapped, "Stop it." He flicked his eyes up to hers, locking in on them with the same intensity she had in her voice. "Stop comparing yourself to him. That's not doing you any good."

He opened his mouth, but then stopped whatever he was going to say, pressing his lips into a thin, critical line. Good. It was high time he listened. He was a stubborn bastard, but she liked him that way.

"He wasn't perfect, you know," Uraraka continued. "I know it seems like it - especially after he was gone and all we had left were memories - but Deku and I had our ups and downs like everyone else. We got into fights. There were days when he was gone and I didn't hear from him. He had a habit of forgetting important dates or being stupidly late - not because he didn't care, but other stuff came first. For the most part, I was okay with being the second most important thing in his life - being a hero was his true dream - but some days it really, really hurt and I was upset. Even worse, I felt selfish for getting upset about it."

Bakugou frowned deeply. "That's stupid."

"I know." Uraraka looked up at him and he looked down at her. He was so tired. Why did he insist on trying to do everything on his own? They were all working together. They were a team. He'd learned how to work with others so well by the end of their time at U.A., but it was like being forced to face Deku and confront his past was making him revert back to his old ways of shutting everyone out. She didn't have time for that. "The point is: you aren't perfect, but neither was Deku. He's got strengths and weaknesses the same as you do."

"It doesn't feel like it right now," Bakugou admitted. "He keeps winning every time. Even when we got you back, it felt like I lost."

"This isn't about winning or losing," Uraraka told him firmly. "This whole comparison thing is bullshit and it's only going to bring you down. You're getting in your own head and it will only make you hesitate again. That's what Deku is counting on. He knows you're one of the strongest people out there and he knows you're a threat to him in every way - he's always treated you as a goal - but he also knows you're your own worst enemy."

When she reached up to lay a hand on his cheek, she saw the hesitation in his eyes and he muttered, "You don't need to placate me," but then he leaned into her touch.

"I'm not." And she wasn't. Uraraka was telling the truth. This wasn't like dealing with Deku, who she had been afraid would turn on her or flip a switch if she said the wrong word or did the wrong thing that broke the illusion he had carefully constructed in his mind. Bakugou wasn't the ticking time bomb in this situation anymore. The tables truly had turned. "Don't prove him right. You're a hero. The Katsuki Bakugou I know - the one that inspired me, believed in me, and pushed me in ways I didn't think I was capable of - that's the one that is going to bring Deku and Shouto home."

Bakugou closed his eyes. "You've got a lot of faith in someone who used to beat up a defenseless kid because he couldn't tell the difference between kindness and disdain."

"Deku was never defenseless," Uraraka said, slowly pulling her hand away. "I think you know that now. He always had his heart."

"That's what's shitty about this whole thing, isn't it?" Bakugou muttered. "He still has it - he still uses it. He's a damn villain and he's so passionate about everything. It'd be easier if he didn't care." He flexed his hands, clenching them into fists like he was smothering any potential explosions and then relaxing them again. "It wouldn't be Deku if it was easy though. Nothing is ever simple with him."

"No, it isn't." Uraraka gave him a faint smile. "Are you good?"

Bakugou snorted. "No." There was the straightforward and brutally honest but confident Bakugou she knew. It was comforting in a strange way. "I'll be good when I take care of this shit and that villain asshole that fucked with Deku and Todoroki is dead."

"Agreed." There was more on Uraraka's mind, of course, but she wasn't sure how to go about it or if she should. She chewed on her bottom lip as she thought it over, warring with herself over it, if only because she didn't know how she felt either. Deku had brought things up that she had either not been prepared to consider or had been lying to herself about. Maybe she hadn't been lying - maybe she truly hadn't known yet - but it was impossible to keep lying when she knew she was now.

It must've taken her too long to decide whether or not to bring it up because Bakugou sighed, already turning away from her. "It's okay. You don't have to say anything. It's not the right time anyways. It might not ever be the right time."

"No, I-" Uraraka cut herself off, her hands dropping down to her sides. "I guess you're right."

Bakugou shoved his hands into his pockets, his shoulders hunched in a defensive posture. Who was he protecting himself from though? Her? Himself? "Contrary to what Deku thinks, I didn't plan on stealing you away from him the second he was gone as one big 'fuck you' gesture. I didn't plan on anything." He glanced back at her. "I had my whole life planned out. This...wasn't in the picture. It's frustrating and inconvenient and it pisses me off."

"Gee, thanks," Uraraka replied dryly, but she wasn't mad at him. She knew what he meant. It was inconvenient and it was frustrating and a small part of her knew it would make things so much easier if Deku was completely wrong.

But he wasn't. And they couldn't pretend that anymore.

"It doesn't matter what I want or what Deku thinks I want," Bakugou finished in a decisive tone. "It doesn't really matter what any of us wants. We just have to do what we need. I'll die before I let Deku fully become the monster that asshole made him. Todoroki too. We're coming for them and they better watch out." She nodded. That was better. He was sounding more like himself. "We're gonna have to move out of here first thing in the morning. Aizawa is gonna be mad as hell about his place being compromised. Get some rest."

Uraraka saluted. "Yes, sir."

"I still think your attempts at alleviating the mood are lame," Bakugou told her before he walked out of the room.

She rolled her eyes, but plopped down on the bed. It was lonely and quiet in here. For a moment, Uraraka thought to call him back in, but then she really didn't know what she would say. She was going to lay down and there was really only one thing she had in mind. She didn't want to confuse either of them anymore than they already were. Deku had not given them the option or time to sort out their own feelings, not when he'd dragged them to the forefront and forced them to admit things they hadn't yet figured out.

It wasn't fair. She shouldn't feel guilty and selfish for wanting something as simple as physical comfort. He had been dead and gone for eleven months, but after being back for two weeks, the idea of Bakugou hugging her made her feel like the worst person on the planet. Just wanting him to hold her made her feel like she was betraying Deku. It wasn't right. Deku shouldn't make her feel like simply not wanting to be alone was wrong. It was what affirmed it in her head that it wasn't him, no matter what Kyomu had said.

The Deku she loved would not want her to turn herself into an island in order to save his ego. He would have wanted her to move on with her life, even if she didn't want to, because he loved her and knew that holding on wasn't healthy.

 _You have to let me go._

That was her Deku. He wasn't selfish. He didn't only care about what he wanted. He thought of others first, even to the detriment of himself. That was the hero who inspired everyone - all the way down to Bakugou, who had set aside his own discomforts and need to distance himself in order to help her survive.

And so she would do the same in order to help them see this through to the other side.

"Are you certain he's ready for this? It feels too soon."

"Shouto is ready. He's been wanting to do this for a long time. It'll be good for him."

"You're sure? He doesn't seem angry enough."

"Not angry enough? I took one whiff of him using my quirk and almost choked on the stench of it. He's more than angry. I'd be careful around him, if I were you."

"It comes out differently with him. It's always been like that. Best way to protect himself."

"And how would you know, Dabi? You don't give a shit about anyone outside of your goals."

"Are you all just going to stand here and talk about me or are we going to do this?"

When Todoroki opened his eyes, everyone was looking at him. He was still in the cell they'd put him in what felt like a lifetime ago. He understood why now. He hadn't been ready to accept the truth. Too resistant. Too proud. Too weak. He wanted out. He wanted to use his damn quirk. He wanted to burn and destroy. He wanted to rebuild. There were things he needed to erase from the world before he could do that.

Deku smiled at him. "I knew you'd see the light."

"Yes, but you should know I don't really care about that," Todoroki pointed out bluntly. "I most likely won't want anything to do with this group once we finish this."

In the corner of the room, Dabi snorted and nodded as if he'd already expected this answer. Next to him, Ikeda, his first guard here, glowered and smacked him on the arm. When she looked back at him, they connected eyes and she quickly looked away, folding her arms across her chest. Was she scared of him hurting her because of what she'd done to him? In truth, she hadn't done much. He'd reacted poorly to her quirk, but she had been trying to give him some relief in a way. He was more sore about her failing to keep Uraraka safe from the other villains that had a grudge against her. She should've done her job. He didn't have time for weak links.

Deku's smile didn't fade in the slightest. "Of course. I'm just happy to have you on my side again. I missed you. Isn't this much better than us fighting?"

Todoroki hesitated. "It is...nice. The idea of working together."

Stroking his chin in thought, Deku stood up straight. "We do need to do something about your outfit."

At the door, Kyomu fixe the tie of his suit. "We weren't planning on having a new member to our group." He cast a pointed look in the direction of Dabi, who shrugged it off like it wasn't a threat. It was, but he didn't seem to care either way. "Your hero costume, I'm afraid, is shot. It would've been a nice touch to use it."

"Like mine," Deku added.

Kyomu smiled. "Like yours. That was a clever idea."

"I'll need a temperature regulator if you want me to go all out," Todoroki said, "and something flame retardant."

Dabi sighed and pushed away from the wall. "I suppose I could spare a jacket." Todoroki spared him a suspicious look. It wasn't an act of kindness. He wasn't sure that Dabi was capable of being kind or if he knew what that might entail. A ugly grin cut across his face, pulling at his skin. "The braces might actually allow your flames to get as strong as mine."

"Unfortunate they're so ugly," Todoroki sighed.

Deku laughed. "I told you to change up your style."

"It works," Dabi said, completely unoffended. He peeled his jacket off and held it out to Todoroki in between the bars of the cage. Todoroki eyed it with a hint of disdain, but then took it from the villain. There was a strange look in Dabi's eyes as he watched Todoroki try on the jacket. He had been concerned it wouldn't fit, considering that he had more muscle and Dabi was so thin and lanky, but it was made bigger to hang loose on him, so it fit Todoroki almost perfectly. It wasn't an attractive look, but that mattered very little to him. "Some of your clothes are flame retardant, aren't they, Midoriya?"

"To deal with Kacchan, yes," Deku confirmed. He looked somewhat disappointed with that frown on his face. "It won't be much of an outfit."

"It doesn't matter," Todoroki said. "I don't need a look. I'll let my actions speak for me."

He hadn't before as a hero and he didn't need one now. All that flashiness was just a way to cover up the ugly truths about the people underneath it anyway.

"Are we doing this or what?" Todoroki demanded, tired of playing the waiting game. He was tired of so many things. He just wanted to put an end to them so he could rest without the threat of a nightmare looming over his shoulders the second he closed his eyes.

Deku nodded and Dabi stepped forward to unlock the cell. For the first time since being here, Todoroki stepped forward out of the cell without anyone holding onto him or putting him in cuffs. He was free. It felt incredible. Now if only he could use his quirk again. _Soon,_ Kyomu's eyes promised him, _soon._

"Welcome to the family," Dabi said, swinging the keys around his finger.

Todoroki's eyes flickered to him. Once upon a time, he might've allowed a faint smile to cross his face. Now, he could only look the other villain in his bright blue eyes. "It's good to see you again, Touya."

Dabi grinned again.

Excitement flashed in Deku's green eyes. "Oh, this is much better. Things make much more sense." He turned to Kyomu, who almost wore a proud look on his face. "You knew?" He nodded. "You really are bringing everything to light." Deku smiled brightly. "This will be so good. Don't you agree, Shouto?"

"You were right," Todoroki agreed, "but then you usually are. I should've listened to you earlier."

"You're here now," Deku said. "That's all that matters." He held his hands up in that familiar excited manner that he had never quite outgrown. "We're coming for them - together. I just wish Ochako were here to see this - how so much better you are now. She'd understand then." He took a deep breath. "No matter. She'll see for herself."

Todoroki nodded, but he kept his face blank. He couldn't help but feel like something was wrong. His stomach twisted in an uncomfortable manner at the mention of Uraraka. Would she be happy? He could've sworn… No, she told him to give in - to accept the truth. It was killing him and she had been so worried for him. She hadn't wanted him to hurt any longer. Yes, she would be happy. She would be. And she'd be better off with Bakugou out of her life too. Deku was right.

He was always right. The world would find that out soon enough.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes:** I'm sorry about this size of this chapter. Of course, at 6.5k, which was closer to the length of the chapters at the beginning of the fic, it's perfectly reasonable. I just worry about disappointing. I reached a spot where I could end this chapter and the next scene is going to be massive and take a lot of time, thinking, and coordination, so I decided to make that a chapter on its own. It makes sense, but I still feel guilty for this being..."short". I want to thank everyone on the sarcasm and sobbing discord for being such an inspiration and encouraging me as I write this hot mess.

* * *

 _"Name one hero who was happy."_  
 _I considered. Heracles went mad and killed his family; Theseus lost his bride and father; Jason's children and new wife were murdered by his old; Bellerophon killed the Chimera but was crippled by the fall from Pegasus' back._  
 _"You can't." He was sitting up now, leaning forward._  
 _"I can't."  
_ **\- Madeline Miller, "The Song of Achilles"**

* * *

Old feelings crept over Uraraka again: the shame of not doing anything, the fear that she was wrong, the regret over not doing more. It was just like when Bakugou had been kidnapped. While Kirishima had made up his mind to save Bakugou no matter what, she had chosen not to do anything, believing that he would feel ashamed if they tried to save him. She hadn't thought it would be wrong so much as it would hurt him too.

Looking back on that now, her reasoning felt more like an excuse than anything else.

When Deku and this new League had taken her and Todoroki, Bakugou had done everything in his power to bring them back home. He had intentionally provoked Deku on national television to drag him out of hiding. Bakugou had faced him head-on. She could tell herself that the circumstances were different (they were adults, they had their pro hero licenses, it was _Deku_ ), but sitting here now in a new safehouse made her feel like she was waiting to find out whether her friends would make it out alive again.

She could remember sitting alone on her couch in her tiny apartment, flipping through multiple news channels and continuously checking her phone for any updates. Left in the dark, she had no way of knowing if Deku and the others were even alive, much less safe. The League could've taken them out before the authorities found and saved Bakugou. She sat there for hours, knees pulled against her chest, questioning her decision to stay out of it, wondering if she made the choice. Had she been right to consider his feelings before his well-being? After all, it wasn't like Bakugou could feel humiliated or ashamed if he was dead.

That was what she felt like now. She wasn't _doing_ anything. Once again, she was sitting back and letting others do the saving. They had told her to stay out of it and she had listened. It didn't make her feel good. She was a hero, for heaven's sake, not some damsel in distress. She should be out there, feet on the ground, clenched fists at her side, fierce determination in her heart. She should be looking for them. She shouldn't be hiding behind orders, letting others put themselves at risk for her.

Logically, of course, Uraraka knew that she was better off here. Deku would be able to spot her a mile away. Later, when the confrontation happened, she would be necessary. If she could act as some sort of stop gate, she would do it, even though she knew Bakugou would have a conniption. Deku would as well. If both of them had their way, she would stay as far away from this as possible, even if it meant leaving the area like Todoroki's family. Deku was afraid of her getting hurt; Bakugou knew she would throw herself headfirst into the fight.

Not that she wanted to get hurt, but maybe - just maybe - if she did due to Deku's actions, it would help him snap out of it a little. According to Bakugou, he'd lost control when he had found out that he'd bruised her wrists. If something worse were to happen, maybe he would suffer a greater break from the quirk. They could not leave any stone unturned. If they could get through to him even a little, it might help. If they could crack the illusion, maybe he would be able to find his way back home on his own.

After all, he wasn't alone anymore. Uraraka was there for him, along with Bakugou, and so many others. If he could fall back on them instead of Kyomu and the villains, maybe he could break free and the Deku she had known and loved would resurface.

It was hard to hope for such things right now. Once again neglected to a couch, Uraraka was reduced to listening through the comms as the surveillance team checked out the area. It was made up of Tooru, a hero she wasn't familiar with, and a few officers under Naomasa had borrowed from another department for their job. Dressed like average citizens, they were checking out the area where Kota's phone had pinged.

The location had ended up being a residential area on the outskirts of town with construction surrounding it. Completely inconspicuous, she could've sworn she'd driven through there a handful of times without ever knowing what it was. Had he been there the whole time? Had he been living right under her nose? He'd seen her around at a distance, keeping an eye on her without her ever knowing he was there, so it was possible. It made her skin crawl, thinking of all the times Deku had been around her without her realizing it. Maybe a few times she'd had the feeling that someone was watching her, but she'd never once thought it could be him. He was _dead_.

It made her feel ignorant and foolish. Incompetent. Weak. All the things she felt now as she listened to the chatter over the comms and did nothing.

Bakugou sat across from her, eyes burning with intensity as he stared the communication device down, like he could jump in it and be on the scene with them. He knew how she felt. A part of her felt like she should apologize to him now for not joining Deku and the rest in order to save him at Kamino, but she also knew he would only dismiss her. She'd done the right thing, in his mind. Jumping the gun to do their own thing had nearly cost Deku, Kirishima, Todoroki, Momo, and Iida their chance at becoming heroes and, even if he had appreciated it on some level, it had humiliated him, just as she'd suspected it would.

"So far, nothing suspicious," Tooru's voice came over the comms. "Everything looks normal from my end."

"Same here," an officer responded. "I asked someone about the area - if it was a good place to move to - and they said it was quiet. It certainly feels like that."

"You sure this is where the phone's location pinged?" another undercover officer asked.

"Yes," Naomasa confirmed. "Invisible Girl is about thirty meters from its exact spot the phone's signal was triangulated. Are you certain there's nothing?"

"It's just a construction site," Tooru answered. "Looks like for an apartment complex. It's only half done."

Uraraka shook her head. "The place I was in was fully constructed. I think it was large and had multiple levels. It's hard to say. It felt like I was in the basement."

They couldn't hear her, of course. With multiple sides and different people involved in the operation, she knew they weren't the only ones listening. It might have been more of a courtesy that Naomasa had given them the ability to listen in considering how little information Uraraka had about where she'd been held captive, but she could call him if something stood out. The key thing right now was communication. So far there had been nothing, which made her more anxious than if there had been a gang of villains waiting to spring an attack.

A thought crossed her mind and she sent a text to Naomasa immediately. Bakugou tore his eyes away from the radio to look at her, but said nothing.

Within thirty seconds, Naomasa's voice came over the comms: "Don't get any closer to the location, Invisible Girl. One of the villains has a quirk related to smell, so there's a chance she might be able to catch your presence even if she can't see you."

"Yes, sir," Tooru responded. "That's annoying."

Uraraka sank back in her seat. "She has no idea." Bakugou gave her a questioning look. She wrapped her arms around herself and continued, "The villain - Mizumi was the name she went by - could sense what a person was feeling, what they desired, maybe even what they were thinking just by smell. Deku used her to find out if I still cared about him. I passed the test, but..." She blushed and looked away before admitting, "She said I smelled like nitroglycerin too."

"That's creepy as fuck," Bakugou pointed out.

She laughed a little, humorless and tired. "It was. I thought it was a joke. She teased me about it at first, but after Deku had that freak out, she covered for me the second time. She was afraid of him and she was terrified of his reaction if she told him the full truth."

Bakugou snorted derisively, but again, there was no humor in it. "They can't control him. That bastard created the world's most powerful landmine."

Deku had managed to keep some semblance of control, but who knew what had become of Todoroki. What would he be like under Kyomu's quirk? She thought of his steady tone on the phone when he'd greeted them as Deku had instructed and then the way he'd described how the quirk made him feel. He was so deeply enraged and hurt. It hadn't been a fiery rage though. He'd been so cold. That had been scary. He was capable of anything.

Bakugou's gaze went back to the radio as more chatter declared the area safe. Something was wrong, but neither one of them could put a finger on it. Again, she thought of when Bakugou had been kidnapped. The group that went to save him had followed Momo's tracker, but instead of leading them to Bakugou and the League, it had taken them to the Nomu storage warehouse.

"Something feels off," Uraraka said.

"It's some sort of trap," Bakugou replied. "I know it is."

Uraraka frowned. "Maybe it's not the kind of trap we were thinking of."

Bakugou focused on her. She thought to talk through it, but she could already see the gears in his mind turning, so she waited. If anyone knew Deku better than her, it was him. "A distraction. Some sort of sleight of hand trick."

"It feels like it, doesn't it?" Uraraka said anxiously. She chewed on her bottom lip. "We thought for sure he was trying to lead us to somewhere. We were certain he wanted to dictate the field, so we'd have to come to him again like we've been doing this entire time."

"But what if he was leading us away?" Bakugou finished, a scowl on his face as he came to the same conclusion as her. "If that's the case, then we played right into his fucking hand." He clenched his hands into fists and slammed one down on the table, rattling the radio as they heard Naomasa call the team back. "He's not there. He might have only been there to make that call. Even if we didn't go on the offensive to launch an attack, we're looking for him there. We're distracted."

"It does feel like a ruse," Uraraka admitted, a wave of defeat coming over her again. "We didn't even consider it, but now it's so obvious." Like the Nomu warehouse. Todoroki would've remembered that - unless Kyomu had messed with his memory of that night. His thoughts on his father were clear from what Uraraka had heard and seen, but everyone else was up in the air. She didn't know what Kyomu had changed with him. "I feel so stupid."

"It's likely Naomasa felt the same way since he called off the surveillance early," Bakugou pointed out. He had fallen for it too and she could tell it aggravated the hell out of him. She could hear him mentally berating himself even if he was silent: he should've known better; he should've anticipated this move; he should've called Deku's plan out right from the start.

She reached out to touch his hand to end his spiralling, making him freeze up and look her in the eyes. Ever since last night, he'd made sure to keep his hands to himself and almost always out of her reach. The difference now was that she knew he wasn't avoiding her. He was trying to protect both of them. It was easier to deal with Deku as long as he shut out whatever feelings that lingered between them. It was unhealthy and she didn't like it, but he was right. Her mind was already distracted by her fears for Todoroki and concern about Deku and the rage that encapsulated it all. She didn't need something else clouding her judgement.

The defeated feeling was swept away by an uneasy one as that opened the door for another thought to trickle in. If Deku wasn't there - if the League had never been there to begin with - then where was he? If he'd led them on a wild goose chase, it had to be for a reason. He wouldn't do something like that for fun. Maybe in the beginning, back when he had been in a more playful mood, but not now after everything that had happened. It wouldn't be as easy for him, Todoroki, or the others to walk around in public. He wanted their eyes there so they could slip out undetected.

"If they're planning another attack, what's their goal?" Uraraka asked. "Where would they go?"

Bakugou rubbed his mouth with his hand as he thought. She knew most people still believed he was only capable of flying off the handle and not thinking straight, but he was a lot smarter and more strategic than people gave him credit for. She could still remember being shocked when she found out he was third in the class after their written exams, one place above Deku, who she'd thought was one of the brightest kids she'd met. No, ranked just below their class reps was Bakugou, who turned out studied and strategized a lot. She had laughed when she realized he was secretly a huge nerd like Deku.

It had taken him time to learn that all the strategy, natural born abilities and intelligence, and power amounted to very little if he couldn't work with a team, but once he had, he managed to surpass Todoroki, who struggled with it longer than him.

She watched him think now. It wasn't a matter of being smart; it was a matter of outhinking Deku, who so far had been running circles around them. He knew how they thought and worked though; under the effects of Kyomu's quirk, it was difficult to tell what he planned on doing. Just when Uraraka thought she had an understanding of where his mind was, he did a complete one-eighty. It was a constant battle. Bakugou had to think like Deku and then jump to the left and ahead.

"It depends on what lead they're following," Bakugou surmised. "It could be UA if it's Deku or maybe the hero agency I work at. You said you weren't sure about his feelings for All Might, but they weren't good. I still think he's a target. We haven't been paying as close attention to him since he's been so focused on me and you and he could want that. Taking All Might out would hurt a lot of people and break Deku further away from the heroes. Even if he snapped out of the quirk's hold, he might feel too guilty to come back to our side."

He might truly believe he belonged with the villains even without the quirk if All Might was killed.

It would also devastate Bakugou, who still very much admired the retired hero above anyone else. All Might was the connection that would always tie the two of them together. He was their hero and shining example. He was the reason for the heroes they had become. All Might's guilt and shame over Deku's supposed death had made his health decline even further, but Deku didn't care about that. In fact, it only seemed to make him angry. She hadn't had the time to find out how his memories of his idol had changed, but she knew they hurt him.

"Then again, Deku might not entirely be in charge since he's also the one being manipulated," Bakugou pointed out, dropping his hand from his mouth. She could tell he wanted to explode, but he was holding himself back as he thought this through. "If they're following another member of the League, maybe even that Kyomu guy, it could be something that would severely cripple hero society, but I don't know what exactly. We don't even know their goals. For all we know, the truth is they just want to watch the world burn and he tricked Deku into thinking they have a cause. It could be anything."

Uraraka was frustrated beyond belief. She should know more than this. After being with the villains for around a week, she should have been able to tell Bakugou and the authorities more. She'd spent vital time with them, but when it came down to it, Deku had kept her away when the important conversations were being held. How was she supposed to help them come up with a plan of attack when they didn't even know the goals of this new League beyond destruction? Yes, she knew about Kyomu's quirk, but she was unsure about how to break its hold. She had done what she could to remind Deku of all the good in their life, but it hadn't helped.

Maybe she should've brought up the bad. The late nights where she was left to eat dinner alone after he promised he would be there, the petty arguments that all couples got into, the forgotten important dates, the guilt, all the little things that cropped up in relationships between two heroes. After all, he'd snapped out of it a little when Bakugou had told him he'd bruised her wrists. It was hard to say. With Todoroki, she didn't know. Would the good hurt him too or would the bad break him further down?

What was going on in his head now? How was he going to justify his actions like Deku was doing? Would Todoroki even bother with justifications? He didn't like to make excuses.

Uraraka worried at her bottom lip. Anymore and it would bleed. "If it's Shouto… Well, I guess we know his main target."

"Do you really think they'll just go after Endeavor like that?" Bakugou asked, a deep and suspicious frown etched onto his face. "It's obvious."

"I don't think he'll care at this point, but maybe that's why they'll do it too," Uraraka pointed out. "We keep trying to figure out their plans - we keep assuming everything is a trap because it's Deku - but they could just go with the obvious route." She thought about what Deku had told her that first day in his room and then at the park, Todoroki talking about his father and past, and then her conversation with Endeavor. It unsettled her all over again. "His dad is the number one hero right now and Deku's grudge isn't just against you. It's also against hero society itself. I think he would gladly help Shouto take Endeavor out. It would work with whatever goals they put in his head."

Bakugou huffed, pulled himself to his feet, and began to stomp back and forth, unable to sit down any longer. This place was smaller than the cabin they'd been in before. He hated it. Before, he could leave whenever someone new came in to replace him, but now he was one of the occupants here. There had been talk of keeping them in separate places, but both Bakugou and Uraraka had been adamantly against it. Maybe being together would anger Deku more - maybe it would make things worse - but she was tired of allowing someone else dictate how she lived her life.

She couldn't go home. She couldn't do her job. She was sick of it.

"We have people watching Endeavor's house and Todoroki's apartment, so we should be alerted if he makes an appearance," Bakugou said. He snorted derisively. "It's not like he can easily hide like Deku. Todoroki is pretty fucking easy to spot."

"What about Endeavor's hero agency?" Uraraka suggested.

Bakugou paused his aggressive pacing to think it over. "It's filled with a shit ton of heroes and sidekicks and civilians are everywhere. You think they'd be that bold? I mean, they haven't been so far. Every attack has been in either a non-populated or evacuated area." He furrowed his brow, suddenly troubled over something that should've been a relief. No doubt he'd been thinking about this beforehand, but the kidnapping and direct attacks had distracted him from fully considering the depth of Deku's behavior and actions.. "Has that been on purpose? Deku gave us time to empty out Kaminari's apartment and the surrounding area, but it was also so we would rush right over. He attacked you all the way to U.A. near warehouse, but it was strategically the best spot to stage an attack. At the park, he waited until it was dusk and empty, but maybe it was so no one spotted him and alerted the authorities."

"I think Deku was doing it on purpose," Uraraka said. She couldn't be sure, of course, but she got the sense that some part of him was still avoiding the death of innocents. She had to believe it - that there was still good in him. What was it that Compress had said about Deku - that he had a good heart? He should have killed Kaminari, but he hadn't. So far, he had only directly been involved in the deaths of villains. Outside of injuries that Recovery Girl and doctors easily patched up, none of them had died. "Besides destruction, it feels like he's subconsciously trying to avoid collateral. His grudge is against hero society and maybe quirks - I don't know - but it sounded like he considered civilians to be affected by it too. That's what I got from what he said to Kota."

There was something different though - something in the equation that hadn't been there before.

The red in Bakugou's eyes was like a dark fire. "You don't think Todoroki will be so thoughtful."

"I'm afraid," Uraraka said carefully, "they turned him into a loose cannon and they're just going to set him free."

That was what the quirk made them feel, right? It made them feel free, unchained by society and expectations, free to break and burn all the things that held them down. How welcoming and warm that must've felt after resisting that quirk for so long - how wonderful it must have been to give in and wonder why they were fighting in the first place when it was only trying to help them, save them.

It wasn't real though. It wasn't freedom. It was only more chains. She had to show them that.

A loud alert from the television behind them made Uraraka jump. They'd had the news playing in the background just in case. Bakugou had already snatched the remote and was turning the volume up when she turned around to see what was going on. Immediately, her hands flew up to her mouth and her eyes widened. All she could do was stare in horror at the scene being shown on the television. Her heart dropped into her stomach, making her sick, and the urge to puke crawled up her throat, which painfully constricted. Tears pricked at her eyes and she managed to choke out, "Oh my god, no, _no-_ "

Standing stock still next to her, Bakugou gripped the remote so tightly it was a shock the thing didn't shatter into pieces, his glare burning holes into the screen. Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see the remote and his hand begin to shake. It was only when she saw smoke did she peel one of her hands from her mouth and reach out to grab his hand, snapping him out of the implosion. It didn't take him out of it completely, but it was enough to keep him from blowing the remote up in his hand.

Before she could say anything, both of their phones began to ring. They didn't have to answer it to know what the calls were about.

They didn't even need to say anything out loud to know what they would do: if this was really happening, there was no sense in hiding. Everyone had to fight this fight. They were needed out there. They were heroes, for fuck's sake. People needed them. Their friends needed them. Deku and Todoroki needed them. They needed each other.

And both of them would rather die than sit back and do nothing, especially after witnessing that.

* * *

The building was somehow both larger and smaller than he remembered. Todoroki stared up at it idly, like some sort of tourist, and examined it with a distant eye. Seeing as how he worked in a different city and spent time doing jobs in rougher climates both in and out of the country, it had been a while since he had come here. Endeavor had wanted him to take over the agency when he retired, but he had admittedly been waffling on the decision. He wasn't working under the man so he could make his own choices. Why should he do anything Endeavor wanted? He'd controlled his entire life; he would not control his future too. He didn't want to continue the bastard's legacy. That had been the whole problem.

This...place was more than just a building. It was a monster he could never defeat and a mountain he couldn't climb. It represented so many things to him. His father, his past, every burn and bruise he'd suffered, every puddle of tears and puke he'd slipped in. It was disappointment, shame, anger, pain, and failure. It was dreams, success, wanting, and more. His father had begun to build his agency before Todoroki was even born, only a distant goal. Endeavor had worked a lot during his childhood, a blessing in disguise. While he'd known he would never be able to surpass All Might to become the number one hero, he still worked relentlessly to keep his position. It was all about rank and power for him. Even the wealth didn't matter on some level, although he indulged in it too.

It was strange. Endeavor cared so little for appearances, considering he had always been known to be much rougher around the edges than the endearing All Might, but he had been very careful in making sure no one knew what went on at the Todoroki household. Not even any of his sidekicks or the other heroes at the agency were aware of any...neglect at home. Until their mother was institutionalized for burning him with scalding water, most people believed they were the picture perfect family.

Before his quirk manifested, Todoroki could almost believe such a thing. It wasn't until Kyomu had brought back old memories to the forefront that he realized things had been wrong even back then. He was able to remember so many things he'd not paid attention to because of his age.

The fury that always simmered underneath Touya, who he'd almost entirely blocked out of his memory, and the painful and sluggish way he dragged himself around the house after training with their father. Fuyumi's fretful and strained smiles and the cries he heard from her in the bathroom, sometimes mixed with Touya's harsh, argumentative voice. How Natsuo taught him how to play games, but would freeze up and hide in his room whenever their dad came home. His mother had started to fade away even then. She wouldn't look at Touya, turning him away when his arms were wrapped up in bandages, and she foisted so many responsibilities on Fuyumi despite her being a kid herself.

" _You won't be like them,"_ his mother would whisper as she smoothed down his hair. " _I know you won't."_

Had she known even then what he would become? Had she seen what he looked like and realized he would be the means to Endeavor's goals? Had she seen his father in him already? Had she hated him even then?

("All Might's my favorite hero," Shouto said one time. He was thinking about the All Might toy dolls he had seen other kids playing with at the park. He wanted one, but Dad wouldn't let him have one. He'd been furious over the innocent question and might have hit him if Touya hadn't jumped in the middle and said he put Shouto up to it as a bad joke.

Touya got hit instead. He'd laughed about it while laying on the ground holding his jaw.

Even now, Shouto could see his big brother running a tongue along his teeth, like he was searching for something. He had spit blood in his hand earlier, careful not to get any on the nice floor. Would he do it again? "Not Dad?"

"No, he's…" Shouto shuffled his feet uncomfortably. "Scary. Heroes aren't supposed to be scary."

A laugh was scraped out of Touya, like his throat was raw. "Mm, no, they aren't. Dad can be pretty scary, can't he?"

"I don't want a quirk!" Shouto burst, unable to contain himself any longer. He'd been thinking about it, but the longer he did - the more time that passed before it manifested - he didn't want it. He knew he was weird for thinking it. Lots of other kids probably couldn't wait for their quirks to show up. He had vague memories of Natsuo's appearing and he could still remember the look of utter disgust and contempt on their father's face.

Anything but that. He would take anything but that. And he didn't know what their father did with Touya, the only other one of his siblings to inherit a fire quirk, but it wasn't nice. Their father was his scariest when he dragged Touya away for training. He wasn't allowed to be around Fuyumi and Natsuo for the most part. The only reason he got away with being around Shouto was because his quirk might be good. It might be what their father was looking for instead of what he had with his oldest son.

"Oh, kid," Touya sighed, shaking his head, "pretty sure you don't got a choice."

"I might not have one," Shouto replied stubbornly.

Touya put a hand on his head. "I hope you don't."

But he did. He did have one, resting inside of him, and it appeared a week later. It should've been something he loved and was excited about. He should've been happy. Instead he had cried in his mother's lap, Touya nearly burned the training room down, and Fuyumi and Natsuo looked away from him in shame and fear. He was five. It wasn't fair. He didn't want this power. He didn't want this gift. His father could take it back. He could stop. He could- He could-)

"Shouto?" a voice called, bringing him back to the present.

Todoroki blinked, the vivid memory fading back into the recesses of his mind. Kyomu's quirk had that effect on him. He wasn't sure if it was just him or if Deku felt the same way. A part of him wanted to ask, but another part of him liked remaining in the dark. It was easier that way, less exhausting, less confusing.

When he looked to his right, there was Deku, looking at him carefully. He was wearing a jacket, hiding his more obvious costume. It should've made them stand out - two young men wearing jackets in the middle of summer - but it was an extremely busy day with people rushing to and from work. There were enough civilians in suits to ignore them. Even now people shoulder checked him a few times without so much as an apology. It was rude, but he couldn't care less. They'd stop in time.

"Are you sure about this?" Deku asked.

"I thought you said I was ready yesterday," Todoroki said.

Deku smiled softly at him. "I did, but I want to make sure again. We don't have to do this."

"No, I…" Todoroki turned back to look up at the agency building. "I don't care if he's not here. I'm not going to be able to rest until every last bit of him is brought crashing to the ground."

He didn't want Endeavor to just die. He wanted to erase every last bit of him, take away his legacy, run his face through the mud. Burn him to the ground until there was nothing but ashes left for the wind to carry away. Only then would he be content. Somewhere around here, Dabi was lying in wait. Touya. His big brother had been here all along and he'd never known. He had given Todoroki the time to figure it out on his own and come to his own conclusions about what to do with what they'd both suffered through. It was an easy choice after everything was made so clear to him.

"This is a good place to start," Deku proclaimed, laying a hand on his shoulder. "He's the perfect example of what a hero isn't."

Todoroki gave his best friend a sideways look under the rim of the baseball cap he was wearing to hide his hair. Deku had all these ideas in his head. A lot of them made sense, but some of them didn't. He couldn't put a finger on it, but something wasn't entirely right. He would've thought about it longer if he cared, but he had his own priorities and goals to meet.

And he was relieved. He was happy. Deku was back. He'd fucking missed him more than words could say. It had him hit like a punch in the gut the first time he laid eyes on Deku standing in the road. Behind the wheel of his car, seeing his best friend back from the dead had pulled at every string in his heart. No one had known him quite like Deku did. They shared so much history together that couldn't be matched by anyone, not even Iida. To see him again had hurt. Fighting him had been even worse. He'd been confused then. He hadn't known yet that Deku was in the right. Everyone had tricked him into thinking he was doing what was best for Uraraka and maybe, at the time, it had been best for her.

What would she think if she knew he was here now? She'd probably be worried for him. Opening up to her about her history, even a little, had been painful. He might not have told her as much as he had Deku, but he had told her more than enough. She'd listened to him struggling through talking about things all over again. She had not once mocked him or belittled him for his admittance that he'd stopped giving a shit about ranks. A part of him had struggled with the idea of whether he wanted to be a hero after Deku's death.

Uraraka had told him to do what made him feel best - that she would support him in anything he chose. Well, he certainly wasn't a hero anymore.

"Someone else could take lead," Deku offered.

"No, this is mine." Todoroki took a deep breath and pulled his hands out of the pockets of Dabi's jacket.

Despite looking clumsily stitched, the second his quirk had returned to him, he had realized just how carefully the jacket was made. The man with the quirk suppression serum had been on standby with a syringe made, along with Deku, just in case Todoroki tried to fight them, but he'd been under no such illusions. The temperature regulator helped him balance his quirk, but it was the braces on the sleeves that caught his attention. With a higher resistance to fire, his flames might be able to reach Dabi's levels without him pushing himself to dangerous levels. He could be like Touya. Their father would be proud.

It almost made him want to laugh, but he wasn't sure if he had that in him anymore.

"No more wasting time," Todoroki declared in a hard tone, glaring at the building now.

Deku pulled his hand back. "What should I tell the others?"

"That, until the time is right, I highly suggest staying as far away from the agency," Todoroki told him. "You'll know when."

"Got it." Deku turned on his feet, but then hesitated, glancing back at him. "Hey." The bright look in his green eyes with enough to pull Todoroki's attention away from the building for just a few seconds. He'd missed that light. "I'm really glad you're with me. I think maybe I was afraid and holding myself back, but now that you're here, well… It's just like old times, isn't it? I'm glad you've got my back."

"I'm just glad you're back," Todoroki replied honestly.

Deku grinned. "Let 'em have it, Shouto."

Todoroki nodded his head and watched Deku slip through the crowd of civilians and disappear before turning his back to Endeavor's agency. He let out a breath, the air in front of his mouth fogging like it was cold, and lifted his right foot, slamming it on the ground as he fully activated the ice half of his quirk to its strongest ability.

He didn't know if it was a good or a bad thing that he didn't feel anything when a massive iceberg penetrated the hero agency building, putting a huge hole in it and practically cutting it in half.

Standing there, still as could be, he didn't hear any of the terrified screams or the crashing of rubble and chunks of ice around him. It was just the sound of the ice slicing through the air and his breathing and steady heartbeat. The sight of the iceberg destroying the first part of his father's legacy quieted the memories and thoughts in his mind for the first time. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath. Somewhere, he could hear the telltale sounds of heroes bursting onto the scene - no doubt those who had survived the initial attack - and he opened his eyes.

Todoroki took the hat off and tossed it to the ground. Holding his hands out at his side, he let both ice and fire flicker to life in his palms. A cold gleam burned in his eyes. The hero agency was only the first step in destroying his father's legacy.

He was the next.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes:** So when I was planning this chapter, I had an idea of where I wanted it to go and what I wanted to do with it, but I didn't know how. This fight has been a long time coming and I couldn't figure out how to write it like I've done in the past. I've written a few largescale actions scenes, but always struggled with them. That was when I believe Saviour on the discord for this fic and others brought up the movie Avengers - and it just sort of clicked for me. Multiple POVs to show multiple scenes in the battle, sometimes completely separate and sometimes with them intersecting. It just made sense to do it that way since there is so much going on in this, to the point where I decided to divide it into three 8k or so chapters instead of one massive one or two 12k ones, because yeah, it's gonna be that big. I couldn't have one POV describe everything happening like I've done before when way too much is going on and there are too many people involved. Such a relief! Anyway, there's some action in this, but it mostly sets up the next two chapters which will basically be all action and ya'll know how much I love that. I've been trying to work on it though. The last scene went completely different from how I planned, including the last two paragraphs. That's just how writing is sometimes.

* * *

 _"That is why embittered people find heroes and madmen a perennial source of fascination, for they have no fear of life or death. Both heroes and madmen are indifferent to danger and will forge ahead regardless of what other people say."_  
 **\- Paulo Coelho**

* * *

They were too late.

That was the first thing Bakugou realized when they arrived to the scene. Technically, they weren't even on the scene yet, but the chaos had spread from the original attack and spilled into other streets and buildings. If it wasn't put to an end soon, the entire city would be taken over. An attack like this hadn't happened since they had crushed the first League of Villains and brought them to a final defeat. Before that there had been the Kamino Incident and then the Hosu Nomu Incident. It wouldn't be long before the fight would be on that level.

Back then, Todoroki had been careful to make sure his quirk did more help than good. He had only used it to help the others rescue him (he could admit that now) and he'd been off doing his own thing with Deku and Iida while nomus had rampaged the city. The villains had done most of the damage back then. He knew very well just how dangerous his quirk could be if he didn't use it properly. In the hands of a villain, that half hot/half cold quirk could be devastating.

Judging from the ice dripping from broken buildings and on bent street lamps and lights and the patches of fire everywhere, they were about to find out how much havoc he could truly wreak if let loose.

Beside him, Uraraka stood in her hero costume, frozen in horror, as she stared at the damage. The fight was still going on, the pro heroes that had survived the initial attack fighting with a handful of villains and trying to save innocent civilians at the same time, but the main fight was still another street over.

"Uraraka," Bakugou snapped. She didn't move, her eyes transfixed on a side of the building covered in ice. He knew what was drawing her attention so much. The red staining it popped against the white and it was an ugly reminder of how sharp ice was as well. How cutting and cold hate and rage could be. It could stab someone just as much as it could freeze them. "Uraraka!"

She only snapped out of it when a car exploded near them, the fire reaching the gas that had leaked out of the tank after apparently being damaged in the fight. She tapped him and jumped, pulling him out of the range of the blast, and then let him use his quirk to launch them forward. He didn't have time to be concerned over her lack of a verbal response, not when they rounded the corner and stepped into the real shit.

It was a fucking mess.

Uraraka brought them to the roof of building overlooking the fight and released her quirk on them. It was still standing, at least. They didn't have much time to assess the situation. The first thing Bakugou sought out was Deku and, yes, there he was, zigzagging around five pro heroes and making them look like fools. He snarled at the sight. Back in their first year, even after he found out that Deku had been given All Might's power, he wouldn't have been able to understand the magnitude of that gift. One for All didn't just give him extreme strength and speed. It was a cultivated power built up throughout use and years and Deku was the strongest of them all.

(Bakugou didn't just mean that in the sense of One for All holders. Deku had been the number one hero for a reason. He had been forced to face the gravity of his difference in power when Deku got to that spot while he was still only in the top ten - and when he'd been taken out of the ranks after being declared dead. Now that he was set loose like a wild animal off a leash, he really was the strongest. Bakugou hated it - he hated that he believed it - but he had to be both logical and wildly ambitious. Deku might've been stronger, but Bakugou would still win. That was what a hero did.)

"I'll take him," Bakugou told her.

Uraraka gave him an alarmed look. "Bakugou, you can't-"

"We don't have any other options right now," he interrupted, shaking his head. "He's playing with those pros - I can tell and for what, I don't know - but he's gonna get bored eventually." She didn't argue with him, but he saw the pain in her eyes when they landed on Deku below them. They'd come in from behind, but it wouldn't be long before they were spotted. "And we've got even bigger problems than them."

Bakugou dragged his sharp glare from Deku, her gaze following his, to the massive glacier piercing straight through what had once been Endeavor's pro hero agency. It went all the way through, extending out the back. No doubt the only thing keeping the building standing, trembling and crumbling as it was due to the intense fighting below, was that ice. However, today was not a day meant for ice. It was a hot summer day and it was melting fast. Not to mention every time someone was thrown against it, the whole thing shook and cracked, which made the building it had destroyed slip and break apart even more. The top would come crashing down soon.

Not counting the civilians and heroes fighting below, who knew how many people were trapped inside, either injured or fighting?

(How many were dead?)

Uraraka's face hardened behind the vizor of her helmet. "Got it."

"You've gotta be quick in there," Bakugou told her in a serious tone. "No taking your time, turning over every stone. It sucks, but you don't have that kind of time. That thing is going down soon and it's gonna take anyone in there down with it."

"Then quit talking and trust me to do my job," Uraraka shot back at him, stepping up to the edge of the roof, the tips of her toes hanging over the side. She hadn't even looked at him when she said it, her mind already focused on the task at him.

Bakugou almost grinned - there was that fire he admired so much about her - but he didn't. Now wasn't the time. He could show off his confidence all he wanted, but it felt wrong right now. He didn't envy her task. Some people might have thought it the easier one (the safer route), but he didn't agree. They had no idea what kind of mess was inside that building right now, how many people were hurt or worse. It would be horrific. Yeah, he was going to throw himself in the thick of the battle, but he more or less knew what he was going into. Deku would gun for him the second he showed his face and Todoroki…

Ah, fuck, who knew what Todoroki would do? Considering the state of this area, it could be anything. Where was he? It didn't matter. He'd likely found out when he got down there.

"Uraraka-" He cut himself off. He didn't know what to say or what he even wanted to say.

She turned back to give him a weak smile. "Be the hero Deku knew you are." And then she dropped off the roof, activating her quirk on herself and using the rockets in her boots to launch herself toward the agency.

Bakugou took a deep breath. Deku might not agree with that statement right now, but he was going to do it anyone. Fuck whatever was going on in his head. Fuck whatever that bastard had done to him. Bakugou was going to be a goddamn hero and he was going to fix this. He'd never be able to take back what he'd done (and, to be honest, he wasn't sure if the real Deku would want him to try if he could), but he had to do what he could now. He had to make the best out of the present or there wouldn't be a future.

He hated thinking it, but goddamn, he wanted one - for himself, Uraraka, Todoroki, even Deku. Maybe especially him. Because, now that Bakugou looked on it now, he wouldn't be the hero he became without Deku. He almost laughed, but grit his teeth instead. Wasn't that just how life went?

* * *

Uraraka wasn't sure what Bakugou had wanted to tell her, but she didn't think he knew either. Besides, they didn't have the time and both of them at least knew that.

She'd had boosters to her boots in her third year at UA in order to give herself more maneuverability in the air. It had taken nearly the entire year to get used to them. Not having any gravity wasn't the same as being weightless, but it came with its own set of issues. Years later, it was like she'd had them right from the start.

After dropping off the building, she activated her quirk and used the boosters to shoot towards the building Todoroki's glacier had pierced. There were multiple entryways into the building besides the actual hole itself. Windows had been shattered in the process. As she got closer, she felt as if she could hear the building creaking and aching beneath the sounds of the fight below. Her gaze fell down there once, spotting Deku shatter a metal box a hero had created to cage him, but she jerked it back to the building.

As much as it hurt, she couldn't be distracted, not even by him. She felt herself being pulled to him. Maybe that was part of the problem. She could fight, but she always kept going back to him, thinking she had to save him. She had to break him of Kyomu's hold. Maybe she couldn't though. There was a chance her presence only enforced it even more. She couldn't be sure, but she had to trust that others could save him while she did her own job. She wasn't acting at hundred percent when her only thoughts were of him.

When she was near the building, Uraraka deactivated her quirk, but kept her rocket boosters on. She decided to make her entrance through a hole near the glacier, figuring that was where the worst of the damage had been done. With her gravity returned to her, she had started to fall, using the momentum the rockets had given her to keep her going. It wasn't a smooth landing, considering she had to go through a window, but she made it, turning off the boosters and ducking into a roll to land in the middle of the destruction. She nearly skidded right into a large hole in the floor, but activated her quirk on herself again at the last second before she could drop.

Floating above the hole, which looked like it went down multiple floors, Uraraka was met with a horrific sight.

The ice hadn't just penetrated the building. There had been people in this building, on the multiple floors struck, by the windows that had now been obliterated. Some floors didn't even seem to exist anymore, completely taken over by the ice. The only reason she could see through them was because the ice was melting and parts of the floor and ceilings on several levels had started to fall and break apart. That, along with chunks of ice falling off, must have accounted for the huge hole in the floor. She used the cold ice to guide herself back to the ground, the pure white stained with streaks of red and black.

Above the sounds of the building trembling and the fight outside were screams and shouts. They echoed around her, making her disoriented, but she shook her head and forced herself to concentrate. Now was not the time to get overwhelmed. She dropped to the ground and got to work.

Uraraka rushed to the aid of a hero attempting to lift a fallen beam off an unconscious woman. "Here, let me."

The hero was younger than her, looking more than frazzled, blood matting the side of their head, startled when she tapped his shoulder and she realized he hadn't heard her. The blood wasn't just a head wound. His left ear was practically gone. "Uravity?" he shouted in confusion.

She held up her hands, telling him to wait, and he caught sight of the pink pads on her fingertips. With a single touch, she could lift the beam without any effort and set it to the side, releasing her quirk. The woman was in a light pink suit, now stained and torn. She was either a civilian or a regular employee. Everyone thought about the pro heroes and sidekicks, but few considered the other employees that made up an agency. It was a business too. This woman had just been typing away when Todoroki had nearly killed her.

Moving to his other side, Uraraka loudly asked, "Can you hear me?" The sidekick, cradling the woman in his lap, nodded his head. "This building is going to collapse! We need to get as many people out of here as we can! I can use my quirk on them to make it easier, but I need help. Anyone not fighting or able to walk! If it looks like there is a possible back or neck injury, you need to be careful, but we also don't have the luxury of going slow!"

"How many people can you use your quirk on?" the sidekick questioned in a shout.

Uraraka gently touched the woman, who became little more than air in the sidekick's arms. "Well, as long as they don't reach over a few tons, quite a few!"

There was no way she would reach her limit using her quirk on people, but even if she had, she would push it further. The only issue with this was that she wouldn't be able to release her quirk until she was absolutely sure everyone gathered was safe. If a villain showed up, she would be at a severe disadvantage. She could only hope they would stay out of the building and remain focused on the actual fight. The was a different battle.

"I don't-" The sidekick looked dazed. It was no wonder with that head wound. Maybe she was asking too much of him, but it didn't matter.

"Call out when you find someone you need me to help with!" Uraraka told him. He had barely started to nod his head when she stood up and began to run through the debris to find other survivors. Luckily, having been struck with ice, there was no fire. Todoroki had kept that half of his quirk down below. Every time her mind inched its way over to him, she had to drag it away. She couldn't get distracted by him either, but it was harder to do that with cold air seemingly radiating from the melting ice in the building.

(He could've taken the whole thing out. She knew that. She'd seen the size and width of the glaciers he could produce. A part of her wondered if he had held back, in hopes that there would be more survivors. Another part of her wondered if it had been deliberate, to cause the maximum amount of mayhem and distract heroes from the fight. To rescue or to fight - it was a dilemma many heroes faced and Todoroki had thrown them in the thick of it.)

With the sidekick's and another somewhat injured person's help, she cleared the floor, only finding six more survivors. she guided them and the people too injured to move on their own to the opposite side of the building. The windows were busted out there as well. When she looked down onto the street, she didn't see any fighting, only rubble and probably more civilians in need of help. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose. It was too much for one person, but she would have to do for now. Other heroes who weren't too hurt were no doubt doing the same as her.

Snatching a piece of paper off the floor without looking, she handed it to the sidekick, who had three injured or unconscious people floating around him. The stairs might not have been an option to get down anymore. Gravity worked very simply. She needed something that would still go down, but would float gently instead of free falling. That was the last thing these people needed. Luckily, he understood, taking the paper with the tips of his fingers. The other walking survivor grabbed hold of him and she activated her quirk on them. Even though they were nervous about the next step, when they walked out of the window, the group merely floated down. It was excruciatingly slow, but she waited until they were on the ground before deactivating her quirk on them.

Again, using her quirk on herself, she jumped to the next floor, squeezing through the hole made by the ice and where part of the ceiling had broken off. This scene was much more chaotic with people frantically trying to help others and some panicking over lack of responses. That wasn't the worst part of it. The ice hadn't just cut through the building. People had been in its way as well. There was blood and broken bodies, some of them unidentifiable. Todoroki had been born with the strongest quirk his father had sought out in an heir and it showed now just how horrifying that strength could be. In a matter of seconds, he'd created a nightmare.

Uraraka breathed heavily, her vizor fogging up as she began to struggle. She spun around in a circle, trying to latch onto something she could do, but everything she landed on was worse than before. Her eyes glazed over people clutching at wounds, heroes trying to free people from the ice, a woman crying over a wrecked body. It was awful. Her stomach turned. She had to swallow down the urge to vomit.

 _Shouto, what happened to you?_ her mind cried out. _I don't know if I can fix this. I don't know if you would want me to try._

"Uravity!"

She snapped out of the panicked haze, ripping her eyes to a large hero carrying two people each on both of his shoulders. "Yes, I-" Uraraka swallowed again. She wasn't sure if it was what he'd called out to her for, but she used her quirk on the people he was holding. His eyes widened at the sudden relief of their weight. Even if he had easily been carrying them, if he could handle more with his two extra arms, it would help. "Get as many people as you can. Anyone that isn't too injured needs to help. If you find someone that doesn't have a pulse…"

"I know," the hero responded grimly. "We don't have time."

"Is this the worst of it?"

"Of the levels still somewhat intact, maybe, but I'm not sure," the hero told her. "A few of the floors were totally obliterated in the attack." There was a hollow sound to his voice and a haunted gleam in his bright yellow eyes. It made him come off as confused, as if he didn't know whether to feel horrified or be too shell-shocked to feel anything at all. "They're just...gone, nothing but ice."

Todoroki could've frozen the entire building. She'd seen him do it more than once, like during their very first combat training session at UA. Instead, he'd rammed a mountain of ice through it like a spear. He had wanted people to suffer (like he had), not become immobilized. He would show the world what he was capable of.

Uraraka motioned for the hero to continue his search for survivors and alert anyone else capable of moving to come to her if they needed help. She ended up using her quirk on multiple people with varying wounds, some as simple but problematic as a broken leg and others as devastating as a missing limb. She had to tie more than a few tourniquets as she passed through multiple floors. Sometimes, she found survivors and brought them to others so she could continue her search. People were pinned down by rubble, desks, chunks of ice, and even bodies.

It was honestly a nightmare.

By the time she had done what she could for three levels, she used her quirk on those standing and watched them float to the ground. Blood dripped from each group. Some, she knew, probably wouldn't make it to the hospital. First responders might not show up on the scene until the actual battle was over, lest they get dragged into it. The police would show up, but any ambulances or fire trucks were probably forced back to avoid even more civilian casualties. She lifted her helmet to wipe the sweat off her face despite the chill from the ice and then released her quirk the second they touched the ground.

More. There had to be more people that she could save. More floors she had to clear. The ice had either destroyed the stairwell or blocked it off. No doubt there were heroes and sidekicks that were capable of flight, maybe even some of the civilian workers too, but they couldn't do everything. She could carry everyone with her quirk. She would carry the weight of everything if she had to, even shouldering Todoroki's guilt when the time came.

And it would. She swore it would. A part of her was terrified this would break him if (when) he snapped out of the grip of Kyomu's quirk - and that devastated her - but there wasn't another option. They couldn't leave him under to assuage his guilt.

There were only two more floors above her before she started to work her way down. She squeezed her way through a smaller hole in the ceiling and released her quirk, dropping onto the floor. The ice hadn't reached up here, but it had still done quite a bit of damage shaking this up. However, multiple people were still down and seemingly unconscious, even though most of them were relatively unhurt.

Uraraka furrowed her brow in confusion and bent down to inspect a man with a bug-related quirk. He still had a pule and he was breathing and there didn't seem to be much in the way of wounds. It was almost like… She stood up, looking around the room at the other still people. It was almost like they were sleeping. Now that she thought about it, a few of the unconscious survivors on the other floors had been like that as well. No visible head wounds, but still knocked out cold.

She gathered everyone that she could, but there was no one to take the survivors down with them. She could tie them together somehow, but that would take time and she didn't have anything to tie them with besides maybe zip ties or handcuffs. It would be better if she found others to hold onto them. It seemed unreasonable for there to be no one on this floor that could help. Had they all run off? Gone to join the fight?

As irritating as it was, she had to take the stairs to the last floor. Again, she found more unconscious people, but then her eyes caught movement in the corner. A graceful, lithe figure crouching over a man slumped at a desk. Whoever it was still walking around was wearing some sort of costume. It must've been one of the heroes or sidekicks that worked here.

Uraraka sighed in relief and started forward out of the stairwell. "Thank everything. I need your help. I've got a bunch of survivors, but I need someone conscious to hold onto them so I can get them out-" She cut herself off when the figure stood up and turned to face her. They didn't say anything and most of their face was covered with a hood and a cloth mask over the bottom half of their face, but their violet eyes glittered. She'd seen those eyes before and very recently.

Those weren't the eyes of a hero.

"Oh, Uraraka," a familiar woman's voice sighed behind the mask, "I should've expected to see you here."

When she tugged the bottom half of her mask off and pulled back her hood, Uraraka growled out, "Ikeda," who languidly waved in response. It was the villain who had been in charge of guarding the cells at first, the one who had failed and let in the other villain who had strangled her. Judging from what she remembered of her, Ikeda's quirk could render people unconscious and maybe give them dreams. The survivors she'd found were asleep, put under the effects of the villain's quirk.

It was strange. Back with the villains, Ikeda had almost seemed...pleasant. Yes, she'd made some poor jokes and had guarded their cells, but she hadn't been cruel. She hadn't even been cold. She had smiled, read trashy magazines, and teased Deku fondly. Hell, she had even saved Uraraka's life, although that had mostly been because she had known the repercussions she would've received. There were dark shadows under her eyes, as if she hadn't been sleeping. Maybe that was a drawback of her quirk.

"I see they sent you in to do rescue work while they fight down below," Ikeda noted idly. "Let the big boys do all the fighting." A grin, tired as it was, cut across her face. It reminded Uraraka oddly of Aizawa. "But we both know this is much worse. How many people were beyond saving? I bet you've kept a tally." She shook her head. "Either they fail or succeed down there, but you're fighting a losing battle up here. That ice did one hell of a number. I thought Deku bloodied up people, but Shouto eviscerated this building and the people in it like a skewer."

Her words rattled Uraraka, but she refused to let it show. Ikeda was only trying to rile her up. Still, it was unusual seeing her here too. She had pointed out that she didn't go on missions like this. "I thought you weren't a fighter."

"I'm not," Ikeda replied, "hence why I'm up here, far above it all."

"You're making sure more heroes can't join in the fight," Uraraka surmised.

Ikeda shrugged. "It's all about containment. The others are strong - seeing Shouto's power up close like this is enough to give even me nightmares - but every bit counts, as you know." She eyed the handful of unconscious sidekicks and heroes with an uncaring air. "At least they'll die having fond dreams. I thought I'd be nice to them in that respect. They won't even know it happened."

Uraraka clenched her hands into fists. "I'm not going to let these people die. I won't let you do this."

The building suddenly shifted beneath them, causing them both to stumble and reach out to hold onto something to keep themselves standing. Ikeda let out a soft laugh. "I don't think you have much of an option, Uravity. This place is going to drop like the rain."

"That depends," Uraraka managed, pushing herself away from the wall. "You probably need to remain conscious in order to keep people under, don't you? Nothing I did could wake them up. They weren't just asleep."

Ikeda gripped a desk tighter. "My, you are a clever girl. No wonder Midoriya adores you so much." The comment about Deku didn't sting nearly as much as Uraraka thought it would. Ikeda stood up straight. "I'll have to end that. He'll feel better once you're out of the way - he won't be so conflicted - and he'll be happier and we can all sleep easier at night."

"I thought you all were under orders not to hurt me," Uraraka shot back.

"We're standing on the top floor of a building about to collapse," Ikeda pointed out, holding out her arms. "That's the beauty of this place. It's less predictable than a fight." She mock-pouted. "He'll just assume you got caught up saving people and went down with it. He'll be devastated, but then he can finally move on from you and really start his life. What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

Fury burned hotly in Uraraka's gut and she snarled, "I'm so sick of you all using him and acting like it's for his own good or you care about him."

"Oh, darling, we do care," Ikeda teased. "You're the one that moved on with the bastard that used to torture him. Some loving girlfriend you are."

Maybe a few days ago that would've stung and she would've paused to deny it, but Uraraka didn't give a shit about that right now. How she felt - what had happened between her and Deku or Bakugou - did not matter at all. What she really cared about at this moment was kicking this villain's ass and saving people. She was a hero, so that was she was going to be.

* * *

In truth, they could've left after the initial attack. They didn't have to stick around and actually fight. Most of them probably would've preferred that line of action, seeing as how skewering the building was flashy enough. Why stay when any surviving heroes were likely to pour out to fight them? Why risk being captured or worse? He had done more damage than most of them combined with a single hit. They didn't need to stay.

Too bad Todoroki didn't care about them.

They could leave if they wanted, for all he cared. Those villains might not need to stay, but he did. Everything in him screamed to stay rooted in this area. He wasn't leaving until he got what he came here for. The main goal for the attack had been to destroy the agency, everything his old man had built up, but to be honest, Todoroki would not feel settled until Endeavor was here to witness his ruin. How could he possibly be the number one hero when he couldn't even keep his own hero agency safe?

Todoroki wanted his father to see the destruction of everything he'd built, the thing he had put over his family time and time again. He wanted his father to see what had become of his precious masterpiece, right before he snuffed the life out of him.

When he was younger, Todoroki had relied on the raw strength of his quirk. It left his technique for wanting. He had learned that lesson when fighting Stain, along with a few others. He hadn't been acting like a true hero then, still too locked up by his own rage and conflicting feelings. Stain had made him realize that he was severely lacking in his fighting skills - and also that a hero's behavior should not be excused because of all the good they'd done.

So what if Endeavor was a hero? Yes, he'd saved so many lives, but he had also destroyed them too. His crimes were not erased because of all the good deeds required of him as a hero? Saving people was the bare minimum of his job. It didn't make what he'd done as good. It was just a part of the job. Now being a father? A husband? That wasn't a job. It was who he was and he'd done more than fail at it.

These heroes and sidekicks working for him knew what Endeavor was like. Maybe not the extent, but Todoroki could remember the sideways looks he received whenever he came to the agency with his father. The pity in their eyes, the wariness - but they would always look away when Todoroki caught them staring. They knew something was wrong. It hadn't been long before that Touya had been the one dragged to the agency, but suddenly he was gone and never spoken of again. It wasn't right and they'd known it and they hadn't cared. Their jobs were more important than actually being a damn hero.

So excuse him for not caring about them either anymore.

Considering that he'd used the ice half of his quirk for his initial attack, Todoroki mainly used it for defense and maneuverability as he fought. He could freeze a person to the ground and then attack them with his fire, which he knew was overwhelming. Many of the sidekicks and heroes that worked for his father were used to working with fire, but fighting against it was different. His father really had created an almost perfect weapon and it showed in the way he was able to fight against multiple people at once. It wasn't easy, but he had known they would try to contain him quickly considering the brute force of his quirk.

Sliding his right foot in front of him, he created a wall of ice to block three attacks. The heroes collided with the ice, knocked back. One got his foot caught in it and Todoroki used to opportunity to use another chunk of ice to strike him the chest. The attack was hard enough to break his foot free of the ice, throwing him against a building across the street, but it hadn't been a clean break judging from the pained howl he let out. There was movement all around him, multiple fights going on, but something caught his eye. He didn't bother to turn around. He simply lifted his left hand and shot off a spiral of fire at what he assumed was an attacker.

Another step with his right foot and more ice shot up in defense. Another twist of his left hand and fire spiraled around him like a tornado, pushing everyone back. If the ice could be broken through, very few could get through the fire without severely hurting themselves. If not for the thermoregulator in Dabi's jacket, he would've sweat or maybe become overwhelmed by his own flames, but instead, he rose them to a higher degree. Thanks to the braces added meant to protect from the fire, he could go to dangerous levels.

Why not?

"You don't have to do this!" someone cried out.

Yes, he did. He aimed a fireball in the direction of the voice.

"This isn't you!" someone else shouted.

They didn't know him. A blast of ice burst out from the ground, encasing them fully.

"You're a hero!"

He wasn't. He really wasn't.

And if he had to show them by burning them alive and listening to their screams when they failed to completely dodge his flames, then he guessed that was a price he had to pay.

He was so tired of living up to other people's expectations. Had he ever wanted to be a hero? It had always been his father's dream, his father's goals, his father's legacy and life. It had never been his own. He'd had the whole hero bit drilled into him from the very beginning. What if he had wanted to be something else? A lawyer? A teacher? A doctor? Anything?

He could be a villain. That was what Touya had done.

"Shouto, please!" a hero pleaded while simultaneously throwing a large chunk of debris at him to stop him.

And then there was an echoing cry in his memory, Uraraka's voice, a hand tightly gripping one of his arms and another holding his cheek, the pads of her fingertips somehow rough and soft against his skin. _Shouto, please._

"Shut _up_!" Todoroki shouted, an explosion of fire and ice bursting from him, like he was a bomb. The rubble got caught in his ice while his fire burned everything in sight. It caused a blinding burst of light as well, blinding many of the people around and freezing the fight on his part of the street momentarily.

He was smoking from the combination of using both sides of his quirk at the same time so violently, panting heavily from the memory more than the fight. He couldn't remember what it had been for. Had it been...the first time she saw Kyomu use his quirk on him? In the cells? When she had told him it was okay to give in? Before all of that, when it was just them on the fire escape and two cups of cold tea and their grief? _Shouto, please._ He started to shake, his eyes closed and his hands holding his head and digging into his temples.

"Hey, Icy Hot!" a familiar voice yelled. "You done with your temper tantrum yet?"

Todoroki opened his eyes and pulled his hands away from his head, digging his blunt and dirty nails into the palms of his hands. _Bakugou._

The hot rage turned into something ice cold. He would be a much better distraction than these petty heroes until Endeavor showed up. He wasn't supposed to kill Bakugou (that was for Deku), but that didn't mean he couldn't maim him for the way he'd forced himself into Uraraka's life after Deku's death and for just being a plain bastard. He wasn't a hero either.

"I don't know," Todoroki said, turning around and moving to slam his right foot on the ground. He caught the familiar flash of Bakugou in the air - the knowing smirk on his face as he prepared to explode through his blockade of ice. "Are you?"

And Todoroki raised his left hand and let loose his fire instead.

* * *

Bakugou couldn't lie: his original intent upon launching himself in the middle of this whole mess was to aim directly for Deku. That was his main focus, after all: bring Deku down, eliminate him as a threat, and either knock him out cold or knock some fucking sense into him. This entire thing had been leading up to Deku and he knew that he had to concentrate on that if he was going to do something.

But then Todoroki exploded like some sort of temperamental bomb and Bakugou had paused.

They were all expecting him to aim for Deku. He'd done it every single time, like some predictable asshole. It couldn't be helped. The thought of not dropping in to kick his ass and save the heroes he was practically cutting through made his stomach roll and it pissed him off even more. All that power and he was going to do this? Deku was a fucking hero. It was wrong on every level. He had to stop him.

Was Deku just toying with those other heroes until he showed up? Was he biding his time for the bigger fish?

It made a sick sort of sense. Bakugou knew he could've killed those heroes easily if he wanted. Pro or sidekick, they just weren't a match for Deku at one hundred percent unless they all banded together, but they weren't working like a team. He had figured Todoroki was doing the same since he obviously wasn't using his quirk at its maximum power - playing along until Endeavor showed up - but then he'd cracked and let off a powerful explosion using both halves of his quirk at once.

Deku was a ticking time bomb, but Todoroki was already going off. Putting that massive glacier aside, he was the bigger threat.

Even though it made him growl in frustration, Bakugou changed his trajectory, throwing his right hand out and letting out an explosion that sent him careening to the left in Todoroki's direction. He was currently having what looked like the cross between a meltdown and a panic attack, which were probably two things an unhinged and powerful hero-turned-villain shouldn't have in the middle of a fight. If they weren't careful, he could snap again and he'd actually go full blast with his quirk again.

He remembered witnessing Todoroki finally fight Deku at his near full strength when he was only fifteen at their first Sports Festival. It had been shocking and he'd only gotten stronger since then.

"Hey, Icy Hot!" Bakugou shouted, hoping to snap him out of his meltdown or whatever. "You done with your temper tantrum yet?"

The change in Todoroki was immediate and sharp. He went from looking like he was going to blow up again at any second to absolutely stone fucking cold. When he turned around, if Bakugou had been anyone else, the look in his mismatched eyes might've made him falter. There wasn't anything in them like Deku's occasionally did whenever the light was out in his eyes. No, there was fire in Todoroki's, but it was cold enough to make a person's blood freeze.

"I don't know," Todoroki called out in return, lifting his right foot. An ice attack. Probably a massive one to ward him off. He could make them thick enough now for Bakugou's explosions to not break through them completely on the first try. Still, Bakugou wanted to scoff. How expected. He lifted an outstretched hand, preparing to let off multiple concentrated explosions instead of a single large one. "Are you?"

Todoroki's left hand came out of nowhere, a shockingly powerful blast of fire aimed right at him.

"Shit!" Bakugou dropped both of his hands and let off two explosions instead of the one he'd planned on. The sudden change in the angle of his explosions propelled him up and fast, launching him further into the sky in a clumsy manner. He hadn't had the time to angle his body properly, but he barely missed getting struck by the fire even with his quick thinking. His hands might've been somewhat fireproof thanks to his quirk, but the rest of his body was not. His boots caught the tail end of it and he hissed in pain, the metal in them heating up and burning his skin somewhat. The soles even melted some.

There wasn't any time to think about that when another column of fire was shot in his direction. He threw himself to the left, doing a quick roll, only to have to raise his hands again to shoot off an explosion that he would stop spinning when a large sheet of ice cut through the air. His boots landed on the ice with a solid thud at the sudden sideways landing. He didn't have Uraraka's quirk where he could remain on the spot. Gravity would eventually pull him down without her help.

(He couldn't think of Uraraka right now. That insane glacier kept catching attention in the corner of his eyes and then he'd look at the building and he'd think of her. She was in there right now, trying to save as many people as possible, in the middle of what was probably a massacre. There was no telling what nightmares she was seeing in there. On top of that, the building was going to collapse at any second. She had to get out of there. She had to-)

"That's fucking it!" Bakugou snapped, shaking his head clear. Instead of shooting down at him, he used his quirk to create multiple explosions so that he shot like a fiery wheel down the ice controlled by a speed demon from hell. It was much faster than Todoroki had anticipated, judging by the way he threw up a wall of ice to protect himself. Bakugou blasted through it anyway, shards of ice exploding everywhere like glass.

When he threw a well-aimed punch at his face, Todoroki used a fiery arm to block it. The hit hurt him still, judging by the way he threw his arm back and waved it, and Bakugou bit on his tongue to keep from swearing again. It was fucking hot. Of course fire was hot and he didn't go about sticking his hands in open flames (not like the boiling water he used to up the strength of his explosions), but this was different. He'd been around Todoroki when he was using his flames. This was way hotter than normal. At this rate, he'd burn himself out if he didn't stop. Did he not care? He didn't have his hero costume off with all the bells and whistles to protect himself from his own quirk.

"You're gonna fucking kill yourself," Bakugou snapped.

Todoroki eyed him with those cold eyes. "Like you care."

"Maybe I don't," Bakugou countered, "but Uraraka sure as shit does."

She would be devastated if something were to happen to Todoroki too. Seeing his handiwork while under that bastard's control had shaken her up as it was. He'd seen the terrified and guilty look in her eyes. It was impossible to forget. She thought this was her fault for not being able to protect him - for not being there for him.

"And you care about her so much, don't you?" Todoroki shot back, a ghost of a sneer on his face. It didn't fit him at all, but it reminded Bakugou of someone. He couldn't figure out who with so much going on around him. "It's all about her well-being, her wants, needs. You're completely selfless in this."

Bakugou's fingers twitched and tensed up. It was. He swore it was. Todoroki had known Bakugou wasn't trying to force himself onto Uraraka after Deku was gone. That had never been his intentions at all. Everything that came after, just a month or two ago, had been completely unexpected. He hadn't meant for anything to happen. He hadn't wanted to do that to her. She deserved better; she deserved more than he could give her. Todoroki fucking knew that, even if he had called him out when she had told their old classmates about Deku's return.

"That's not-"

"All you give a shit about is yourself," Todoroki cut in. "No one else matters. Just you and your goals to be the best, to get everything you want, even if it means stepping on others." Flames flickered in his hands again, but this time, the color began to change. Bakugou could've sworn he saw blue for a second. "Stop kidding yourself. You didn't start sniffing around her to be helpful. You don't have a compassionate bone in your body."

Having all of his insecurities thrown into his face threw Bakugou off for a moment, making him hesitate just like he'd done the night Deku died. Had he really done what he had to help her or had he wanted to make himself feel better? For failing to defeat that villain, for failing to save Deku, for failing to be the one to sacrifice instead of him.

No, he didn't have time for this. He had to snap the fuck out of it so Todoroki could too.

"What fucking horse shit did they shove into your head?" Bakugou demanded, a tiny hint of pain creeping in. He kind of wanted to laugh. At least now he knew what Todoroki's feelings were towards him. Cold, utter contempt. Great, as if he needed someone else gunning for his head. Fucking go figure.

By no means were he and Todoroki close. They never would be. It just wasn't who they were and they were fine with that. He didn't think even Todoroki would've considered them friends, but they had developed an understanding beneath their adversarial relationship. Deku's death had affected them in similar ways for both similar and different reasons. It was hard to be the hero he'd become without the person who had fought him tooth and nail and alongside him every step of the way.

As much as it had hurt to admit, Bakugou had to come to terms with the fact that he never would've become this great of a hero without Deku. He would've been a hero - there was nothing that could've stopped him from that goal short of death - but he wouldn't have made it this far. Even if he had, Bakugou wasn't sure if he would've deserved it. Maybe he would've turned out more like Endeavor. Todoroki would've loved that. Shit, knowing what Kyomu had put in Deku's head, it wouldn't surprise him to think that Todoroki did view him like that.

"You're not a hero, Bakugou," Todoroki told him.

"Just watch me be one," Bakugou growled, lowering himself into a fighting stance and firing off multiple mini-explosions to ready himself. Todoroki did the same, letting out a deep cold breath that fogged the air. He hadn't planned on fighting Todoroki, but plans changed all the time. That was a part of being a hero. As much as he wanted to get back to Deku, he had to deal with this first until stronger reinforcements arrived or he was able to take him down.

Once upon a time, Deku had believed he was one - had even looked up to him when he honestly hadn't deserved it. Now Bakugou had to prove that he was worthy of that admiration, starting with this messed up bastard.

"Oh, hey!" Deku shouted gleefully over the sounds of the fight. It was hard not to look away from Todoroki upon hearing his voice, but Bakugou knew he couldn't be distracted, not when Todoroki could attack at a moment's notice with either ice or fire. "Nice of you to arrive, Endeavor! I think your sons wanted to speak with you about something!"

Blue flames shot up from the corner of Bakugou's eyes and Todoroki jerked his head to the left in the direction of Deku's voice. It was only a second. Before Bakugou could throw himself at Todoroki, something in him snapped. And everything predictably went sideways and to utter shit.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes:** So my plan was to get this chapter up last week. And then my daughter got the flu. And then I got the flu. So all in all, not a lot got done at the end of the week. I've also been trying to work on being less passive in my writing, so that meant I took longer doing it. Granted, it's not perfect since I only went back and lightly edited, but I tried more than usual. Uh, moral of this chapter is: let the characters do what they want and don't try to force them. I've learned my lesson. I wish ffn allowed links so you can see the incredible Villain Shouto and Villain Deku art people have done recently, but alas, it does not.

* * *

All Uraraka needed to do was incapacitate Ikeda. The villain wasn't a fighter. Even the way she held herself gave her away. No, she did her job by sneaking around. With the heroes too distracted by Todoroki's initial attack, she slipped right through them, probably thinking she was a civilian or non-hero employee. Uraraka didn't even know the names of everyone that worked her agency. It was easier than anyone wanted to admit for someone to sneak in unnoticed and ignored.

However, that meant it wouldn't take much to take Ikeda down. Ever since being inspired by Bakugou to intern at Gunhead's agency in her first year, Uraraka had continued to learn how to fight. She spent years honing in her hand-to-hand combat skills until even she could admit that she was one of the best fighters she knew. It helped that she had also spent time fiercely training with her friends. Deku had been excellent at sparring, along with Bakugou, Kirishima, and Tsu. Fighting against so many different opponents had taught her a thing or two.

Looking back on it, she didn't know why she had never considered it before then. Her quirk was touch-based, which meant that she would be in close quarters most of the time with any villain she fought. She was capable of using her quirk in more creative, long-range ways now, but rendering a villain's gravity useless was the easiest and fastest way to finish them off. Without gravity, most people were rendered useless. Very few understood how to navigate themselves without that familiar tug to the ground, unlike her. Gravity was hers to manipulate.

With the clock ticking, Uraraka darted forward. The ground literally shifted underneath them, making it awkward to run. She took away the gravity of some of her gear as she ran, making her body lighter and therefore easier to stay upright. Ikeda didn't have the same luck, wobbling on her feet and pressing her hand against a wall to remain standing.

Something else to consider when fighting someone was that every opponent approached a fight differently. If a person lacked in combat skills, they had a few options. One of them was to run. Ikeda had decided to take Uraraka down and blame her death on the building's collapse, so that was currently off the table. Another option was to bring a weapon of some kind. For some people, their quirk depended on a weapon. Toga's knives came to mind, along with Stain's swords. They had needed those weapons to make easier use of their quirks.

Weapons were also great for people that couldn't fight. A hero could be incredibly strong, fast, and capable, but they could die by a gun or sword or anything just the same as a civilian.

When Ikeda smiled lazily, Uraraka's blood ran cold and she slowed down. Something was wrong. The moment the villain pulled a handgun out from behind her back, Uraraka came to a screeching halt. She dove behind a desk as gunshots rang in the air, piercing a pillar and shattering a window.

"How are you going to explain away gunshots in my body?" Uraraka demanded. She pressed her back against the desk and considered the options in front of her. A long-range attack first was her best shot. Lucky for her, she was surrounded by plenty of things she could float and turn into projectiles.

"Midoriya doesn't have to find your body to know you're dead." Ikeda giggled like a delicate windchime. "Isn't that what you all did to him? You all couldn't find him and left him behind while you moved on with your petty lives."

Uraraka clenched her hands into fists. No, it wasn't. They had searched for him for weeks until Todoroki and Tsu had pulled her away from it. By then, her only choices were to either lock herself in their empty apartment or go back to work. She couldn't face their home alone. She had to go back to work. She had to keep moving. If she stopped for even a moment, she would look back, and if she looked back…

If she had looked back for even a moment, thought to search for him again, she would lose herself. She never would have come out of that darkness.

She had to look forward - for herself, for Todoroki, Bakugou, Deku's mom, their friends, her family. So many people counted on her. She could only look ahead. But she had never left Deku behind. She couldn't possibly forget him, not for a moment. Ikeda was wrong. They hadn't left him behind. None of them had. They had all continued to carry him with them in their own, personal ways. For some, it had held them back; for others, it had pushed them forward; and for some, it had kept them together.

Uraraka couldn't leave Deku behind, not when he would always be such an important piece of her heart.

"Are you just going to hide?" Ikeda taunted before letting off another shot. A bullet pierced the ground next to the desk Uraraka hid behind, just a few inches away from her hand. She snatched it against her chest and leaned her head back against the metal. "I don't think you have the time for that."

"Neither do you," Uraraka pointed out. "If the building drops, I can probably save myself with my quirk. You can't. You'll drop with the building."

She moved to stand in a crouched position, hands on the ground. However, she didn't make a move right away. She stood still, wincing when Ikeda shot the desk a few more times. The villain swore to herself and Uraraka heard the telltale signs of the magazine clip being replaced. Only then did she launch herself out from her hiding spot and rolled behind another desk. Ikeda hastily shot at her, but wildly missed again, not fully prepared. Honestly, if she had planned on using a gun before coming here, she really should've practiced more.

"Not a good shot, are you?" Uraraka said.

"All it takes is one hit to bring you down," Ikeda responded, the frustration now evident in her voice. She wanted to get out of this building as fast as possible. Uraraka needed to take her down before she decided to give up and flee, her more typical MO. "Of course, if you just came out, we could end this nicely. You don't have to die in an ugly manner. Everyone else here is going to go out so peacefully."

"You know getting close to me in a fight is a mistake," Uraraka said.

"What are you going to do? Float me?" Ikeda scoffed and shot the desk indifferently. "You touch me; you'll take away my gravity. I touch you; it's lights out, darling. You won't be alive for the bed bugs to bite."

Uraraka nodded. "Good point."

Without waiting any longer, she activated her quirk on the desk and lifted it into the air. Pressing her palms against it, she pushed it forward and began to run, using it as a massive shield against the bullets. Caught off guard and too close to dodge, Ikeda grunted when the desk collided with her, but Uraraka didn't stop shoving until she slammed her into the wall as hard as possible. Ikeda cried out in pain and dropped the gun. It clattered on top of the desk and fell off the side when the desk dropped back to the ground after Uraraka released her quirk.

Pinned against the wall, Ikeda groaned as she tried to shove the desk away, but all Uraraka had to do was kick it back in place. She reached over the desk, grabbing a handful of Ikeda's hair in her hands, and slammed her face-first into the desk. It was a brutal move, one she might not have considered a month ago, but she didn't care. It knocked the villain out cold.

"Good fucking night," Uraraka muttered, grim satisfaction streaking through her. Quick as it was, it hadn't been much of a fight, after all. Good.

With the villain slumped over the top of the desk, blood pouring out her broken nose, her quirk's hold on the unconscious heroes ended abruptly. All around her, heroes stirred awake, confused and in a panic over what had happened. Uraraka had to hand it to her: even if Ikeda wasn't a fighter, she had managed to take out ten heroes on her own without any of them realizing what was going on.

"What's happening?" one hero asked as he pulled himself to his feet. His eyes landed on her, then Ikeda, and he frowned. "Uravity? What are you doing here?"

"There's no time to explain," Uraraka said. "This building is going to collapse at any second. We need to get out of here. Anyone that can move on their own, go now and I'll take care of the rest."

"What about her?" another hero asked.

Uraraka glanced back at Ikeda. She was still breathing. Even though she had planned on either killing Uraraka or knocking her out and leaving her here to die, it didn't feel right to do the same to her. If put in the position, she would not show any mercy to a villain. It was an ugly truth about hero work, but some villains did not leave them any other choice.

( _Please, Shouto, don't do this to me. You're not a villain. Give us a chance to save you._ )

However, Ikeda was unconscious. If Uraraka left her here, it would be akin to killing her in cold blood when she could have easily rescued her from the building. There was that hero complex so many villains hated, rearing its ugly head at the worst time.

"Does anyone have a pair of handcuffs?" Uraraka asked. The second hero handed her a pair. She pulled the desk away with ease, catching Ikeda before she could fall. Lying her on her stomach, she cuffed the villain behind her back and then stood back up. "Her quirk is touch-based. It knocks you out, gives you dreams. I don't know. Be careful not to let her touch you though. She is slippery and quick."

A short hero stood at the window, teetering anxiously as he stared outside with wide eyes. "That ice…"

"It's Shouto," Uraraka confirmed, as much as she hated to say it out loud. She didn't want these heroes to become disillusioned by Todoroki - he was a hero, damnit - but she couldn't sugarcoat the situation either without putting them in more danger. "Long story short: he was taken by the same villains as Deku and now he's… It's not him - he is being manipulated - but he's not on our side." She took a deep breath and stood in the face of their wary, grim expressions. "We have to go - now."

The sad truth was that no one was probably more disillusioned with himself than Todoroki at this moment. She would have to shed some light on him somehow. She just didn't know what that light would do to him.

* * *

Todoroki readied himself to beat some bloody sense into Bakugou for Uraraka's and Deku's sakes when the latter called out, "Oh, hey!" in a tone that radiated vicious glee. Normally, that tone was reserved for when talking about All Might and sometimes other heroes like Eraserhead or Present Mic. He ignored it, too focused on Bakugou when Deku continued, "Nice of you to arrive, Endeavor! I think your sons wanted to speak to you about something."

Out of the corner of his eyes, Dabi reacted about as positively as he could. Blue flames erupted in a massive wall that cut off the heroes he had been fighting, his own attention now focused on a new victim. Todoroki felt like he was moving in slow motion, swinging his head around to follow the direction of Dabi's flames until his gaze landed on their father.

(" _It hurts! I can't breathe! Please, dad, I can't- I can't-"_

" _Get up, don't be so weak, no successor of mine will be pathetic, get up-"_ )

Fire exploded from his left side without him even blinking, a raging inferno to match his pain. Endeavor only had a moment to react, cutting through the flames with his own fire, but it wasn't enough to save him completely, not when they were hotter than his own. Todoroki had been able to make his fire stronger than his father's before. He didn't have to watch his temperature nearly as much with the ice half of his quirk. With the braces from Dabi's jacket, he could go even hotter without having to worry.

It didn't matter. Even without them, Todoroki would've pushed himself past his breaking point. What did holding back matter? His father was the weak one now. An old man past his prime. He should've stepped down years ago, but he was too stubborn and kept holding onto his rank since everything else in his life was gone. It was pitiful. Sad. Pathetic.

Weak. So utterly weak that it disgusted Todoroki.

"Shouto!" Endeavor called out to him. "Stop! This is not you!"

"Not me?" Todoroki lashed out with another wave of fire. This time, the color flickered to something more akin to white. He needed to go higher. Stronger. Hotter. It was what his father had wanted, wasn't it? That ultimate move he had pressed upon Todoroki to learn, but he never had out of the last remaining bit of spite in him. It was his quirk and his quirk. That was what Midoriya had said once, a long time ago. He would use it how _he_ wanted.

Besides, Endeavor already had a son who had perfected the move to burn as bright as the sun.

" _Not me_?" Todoroki exclaimed, louder this time, angrier. He slammed his right foot on the ground and attacked with a thick wall of ice. His father countered with a highly concentrated form of his fire, creating a spear to slice through it. "This is what you wanted, wasn't it? A kid with the strongest quirk possible? To fill in the gaps where you fail?" His fire flickered to white around him again. If he got hotter, not even his father's fire resistance would be able to keep up with him for long. He'd burn from the inside out. "I'm just trying to take out the number one hero! Isn't that what you wanted?"

His father sliced his flames with another powerful blast, forcing him to create a wall of ice to shield himself. It wasn't anything he wasn't familiar with already. Endeavor had trained him every day until he could no longer stand some nights. They might never have gone at each other with their full strength, but this wasn't the first time they had fought each other. It would, however, be the last. And then he could finally let out the breath he'd been holding for what felt like forever.

"You're a hero!" Endeavor insisted angrily.

"I'm what you made me!" Todoroki shouted, ice and fire exploding from him at the same time. His father wasn't able to block or dodge it completely. The ice partially hit him in the side, knocking him across the street. His back slammed into the wall, but he stayed standing despite the pain. Todoroki advanced on him, ice and fire coating the road with every step he took. "You wanted the strongest? You got the strongest! The best! The most advanced!" He pointed an accusing and flame-covered finger at him. "You want the best? You get the worst too."

Endeavor pushed away from the wall, holding in a grunt of pain. "What are you talking about, Shouto?"

"He's talking about me," Dabi drawled, stepping up next to him. Todoroki didn't need to look over to his oldest brother to feel the flames he was holding in his hands. "Isn't this a fun family reunion?"

"You," Endeavor snarled. The flames of his costume burning brighter in his rage. "You kidnapped him. He's had his mind twisted because of you! This is your fault."

"I _saved_ him," Dabi retorted coldly. "They wanted to kill him. If not for me, your precious masterpiece would be dead right now. I protected him." He snorted, wearing a disgusted look on his face. The scars and staples made it so much worse. "That's more than you've ever done, Mr. Number One Hero."

Dabi lashed out with his flames. The blue fire was a brilliant contrast against Endeavor's orange and red ones. When the two fires collided, there was an incredible explosion strong enough to melt bits of the asphalt between them. No one would want to get close to this fight. Not even someone fire resistant would be able to escape this without getting hurt. That was the point.

The fire died, smoking rising in its place. Endeavor stared Dabi down hard, concentrating on him with a conflicted look on his face. There was rage, but also confusion. His eyes were glaring, but his brows furrowed.

"He still doesn't get it." Dabi laughed somewhat hysterically. A hint of pain tinged his voice, something Todoroki would've missed before. Always so focused on the fact that Dabi was a villain, he never considered the underlying cause for his actions. It had never seemed important.

"I told you he wouldn't," Todoroki said. "Once he deems something not worth his time, he cuts them out of his life and forgets them altogether. Nothing else matters except what he wants."

Understanding bloomed in Endeavor's eyes, quickly transforming into horror and anger. That familiar anger would always be associated with his father. It was a part of him. Anger lived in his fire, his fists, his eyes. Todoroki would never be able to escape it, if only because it was a part of him now too. Dabi understood that. It was what fueled him as well.

"Ah. It finally hit him." Dabi sounded off for a moment, distant and shaky. How long had he been waiting for this moment? Years and years. And now it was here and he didn't know what to do. At least he wasn't alone. Todoroki didn't want to imagine how he would've reacted without him next to him.

"Touya?" Endeavor asked.

"Hey, Dad," Dabi said, a grin twitching onto his face. "Look at us: your greatest achievement and your greatest failure working together. Who could've seen that coming?"

Todoroki shot off a spiral of flames at the same time as Dabi, their two fires mixing together to strike a shocked Endeavor head on. This ended now. All of it. For both of them. Todoroki felt like he had been trapped in a nightmare, but they were at the end of the story now. He wanted to wake up. He was done with this. It was time to get rid of the monster haunting his shadow since he'd been born.

* * *

The moment Todoroki snapped, Bakugou had to launch himself into the air to avoid getting hit by his flames. There was no precision in the attack. He blew up, completely out of control, fire going everywhere. Endeavor managed to break through them with his own fire, but not everyone else was as lucky. A few heroes in the vicinity weren't able to get out of the radius of the wild blast. Bakugou drifted in the air, propelled up by his explosions, and watched as heroes were felled down.

The craziest thing? Todoroki didn't even seem to realize that he'd hit people. None of them mattered. No one was on his radar except for Endeavor. Even though he had been ready to maim Bakugou within an inch of his life, he had seemingly forgotten about him as well. It was like he didn't exist. He would not want to be in those crosshairs right now. Having Deku focused on him was enough as it was. Todoroki had gone wild. It was like this new League had set a rabid dog with laser focus loose.

Bakugou dropped back to the ground, his knees bent to absorb the shock of the landing. He threw his hands back, preparing to launch himself forward to help Endeavor. However, right as he let off an explosion, he felt someone snatch the back of his collar and jerk hard. The only reason he didn't go flying into the broken building was because he'd been in the middle of setting off an explosion to go to opposite way. He was still thrown wildly and crashed into a lamppost. He caught himself on his hands and knees when he fell, grunting in pain as his lungs refused to cooperate.

"Not so fast, Kacchan," a cheerful voice taunted him. "That fight is none of your business."

"That's funny." Bakugou pushed himself back to his feet. Deku casually strode toward him, stepping on a large piece of broken concrete and hopping it off it. "You love sticking your nose in other people's shit."

Deku smiled sheepishly. "I would love to help Shouto out - I really would - but he's got his own demons to fight. That right there is between father and son. I won't step in unless he asks."

"Look at you," Bakugou snarled. "Being such a good friend."

"It's important to be considerate of others and their dreams," Deku said, a sharp edge to his tone. His eyes had gone dark again. It wasn't him. Bakugou had to keep telling himself that it wasn't him. He didn't have the time to let Deku get in his head too, not anymore. "Not that you would understand that. The only thing that has ever mattered to you is what you want, even if it means crushing other people's dreams."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm a bastard and not heroic at all," Bakugou snapped. "Cut the crap. Let's finish this, Deku. I'm tired of hearing your shit."

A dark expression settled over Deku's face. "I couldn't agree with you more."

Mini explosions peppered the air around Bakugou's palms. He needed to work up a bigger sweat in order to use his quirk to its full potential or even more. If Deku used One for All at one hundred percent, there was no way he could beat him on his own. That was just a fact. He could bitch and whine about it he wanted, but Deku's quirk had been building up power for multiple generations. Bakugou was confident that he was one of the strongest heroes out there. He was willing to do whatever it took to drag Deku back to the light.

But for once he had to accept that he couldn't do something on his own. It was hard, especially considering his life absolutely counted it.

Deku darted forward in a flash. Instead of attacking him head-on, Bakugou blew himself backward, moving in the same direction as him. He changed his trajectory at the last second before he crashed into a building, launching himself in the air. Going at the speed he was, Deku didn't have the same ability to change his course or skid to a halt. He jumped, his feet slamming into the building and breaking a large hole through the brick. Bakugou's feet connected with the side of the building and he pushed off, using his explosions to launch him away.

The whole dance made him feel like he was running away, especially when Deku stepped himself out of the hole he had created, seemingly uninjured. He fucking hated it. He didn't run away from anyone or anything, least of all fucking Deku. More than anything, it made him feel like he was running away from himself.

 _This is your fault,_ a voice in the back of his mind kept repeating. _You did this. You helped create this. Stop running and own up to it!_

He wanted to more than anything. Every time he saw Deku, be it on the news or internet clip or that picture from Uraraka's apartment security camera, his stomach clenched uncomfortably. It was like the acid was trying to eat away at him. He had to fix this. He couldn't do it alone and his only choice was to run out the clock and give all he had until someone else joined the fray. Deku was his responsibility. He knew that Uraraka was hellbent on saving him (and goddamnit, where was she? Was she still inside that crumbling building?), but he had to do it.

He had to save Deku like Deku had saved him.

With a near unparalleled strength, Deku picked up a burning car and chucked it at Bakugou like it was a ball. He couldn't afford to waste his grenades or go over the top with his explosions in the beginning. Instead, he used his fingers to create a circle over his other palm and created a concentrated but powerful AP Shot that struck the gas tank of the car, exploding it mid-air. Fiery metal debris rained down from the sky like meteors as the main husk of the burnt car crashed to the ground.

Bakugou landed hard, having been thrown harder by the explosion, and his boots skidded on the ground before he came to a stop. There was no time to relax. Deku dropped down on him, nearly taking him out with a kick that he managed to dodge by ducking. He was a hell of a lot quicker than when they'd been teenagers, continuing to spin around fluidly to kick with his other leg. Bakugou threw up a hand to blow himself back, but Deku's foot hit the brace and knocked his hand away, stopping the explosion.

A sharp pain ran all the way up Bakugou's wrist to his shoulder and he hissed, "Shit!" He couldn't wallow in the pain. He dropped his hands, aiming to blow himself in the air again. Deku moved to follow, but Bakugou swung his hands further back and shot off a powerful explosion behind him instead. It propelled him forward instead of up and he crashed hard into Deku's chest with a knee. The sudden change in direction surprised him and they careened through the street before they both crashed into the ground.

Having been on top, Bakugou was able to roll a few times and spring back to his feet quickly, but Deku landed on his back and was thrown about awkwardly. He stopped himself by reaching out with a hand, his fingers digging into the ground, and brought his feet up so that he ended up in the starting position for a race.

"Not bad, Kacchan," Deku said in between pants. Bakugou was breathing heavily as well, but he felt like he was still near the top of his strength. He hadn't used any massively powerful explosions yet. Deku twisted his neck to pop it and then lifted his head. "Not good enough though. I'm stronger and you know it. That's why you're holding out." He grinned. "I'll force you right over your limit and break you. Guess we'll find out if we can burn a quirk out. It should be possible. It's like a muscle, right?"

It was now or never while Deku was still at a slight distance. If he dodged this explosion, Bakugou would be leaving himself open, but he had to take the shot. Deku had no idea what his limit was or what he was capable of. He would break himself and still keep fighting if that was what it took. He lifted his left hand and held his wrist with his right, in front of the bracer. Green lightning crackled around Deku.

And then a familiar cry rang out in the air that had made both of their hearts skyrocket, followed quickly by Uraraka screaming in pain, "Deku, help me!"

Bakugou almost jumped out of his skin at the sound of her voice. Deku jerked upright and swung his head wildly around in the direction of her cry. His eyes were manic and bright again. All he could think about was Uraraka. His mouth opened to call out to her - Bakugou's as well - when he cut himself short and clenched his jaw shut. A furious yet knowing look came over his face.

Without saying a word, Deku lifted finger and wagged it in a disapproving manner, like a parent scolding a child for doing something wrong. Bakugou followed Deku's sharp gaze until it landed on a dark figure standing in the relative safety of an alley down the street. Slowly, the person stepped out of the shadows, only to reveal that it was Shinsou in his full pro hero gear, including the binding cloth Aizawa had taught him to use during high school. He wore a hardened expression on his face, half-obscured by the voice changing support gear, his eyes cold and tired.

Bakugou startled in surprise. The cry for help hadn't come from Uraraka but him. It was rare for Shinsou to be out in the public like this. He had taken after Eraserhead in being an underground hero. Then again, he didn't have much of a choice right now. Even someone like him used to working in the shadows had to step into the light in order to deal with Deku and Todoroki.

In truth, Bakugou had forgotten about him and the question of if his quirk might combat whatever the villains had done to Deku. They had brought as many heroes with similar abilities after Uraraka and Todoroki's kidnapping. So much had happened since then that it might as well have been another lifetime. He had died once already since then and was doing it now. Uraraka had been saved Todoroki turned into a villain since Shinsou had viewed the recording from outside Kaminari's apartment complex.

Shinsou tried to trick Deku into falling for the trap that entangled so many villains, but something must have stopped Deku at the last second. It was a good gamble, one that almost worked, but still fell short. Maybe he had realized that Uraraka wouldn't cry out to him for help.

Still, it gave Bakugou an idea. Not wanting to fall victim to Shinsou's quirk, Deku wouldn't talk to him. He even pressed his lips together and lifted his mask to cover the bottom half of his face, which would help keep him from responding. However, if there was one thing Bakugou was good for right now, it was riling him up. Before, he would have been smart and strong enough to know better, but this Deku was different. He was off. He was more out of control. Faster to fly off the handle when provoked, he was stronger than all of them but also more likely to slip up.

Whatever that Kyomu bastard's quirk had done to Deku to unhinge him enough to become a villain at this level, it had also taken away his control over himself. His armor was cracked, whether he realized it or not. All Bakugou had to do was find a way to dig a knife in those cracks and free him.

"I don't think so!" Bakugou shouted. "You pay attention to me, you bastard!"

He threw one hand back to launch himself forward and reached out with another to snatch Deku. Right before he could grab him by the collar, Deku sidestepped out of the way, using the unnatural speed of his quirk. Bakugou hadn't been quick enough, but then he'd expected that, having only used one hand. Deku used the momentum from stepping away to swing around and kick him, but Shinsou's binding cloth wrapped around his ankle and he jerked on it hard. Deku fell backward and hit the ground hard. He dug his hands into the rubble, but it wasn't enough to keep him from getting pulled forward and awkwardly flung into the air by the cloth.

The only reason Deku didn't get further tossed around was because his free foot managed to connect with the driver side door of a car. He held himself there sideways, lifting his captured leg up so he could reach up and grab onto the cloth.

Before Deku could yank on it and drag him forward into the ground, Shinsou managed to release him. As if it fell apart on its own, the cloth unraveled from Deku's ankle. No longer being held up, Deku fell and Bakugou took advantage of him not able to dodge to strike him with a pointed but strong explosion. This time, it hit him and he was blown across the street, crashing right through an abandoned bus and knocking it over sideways.

Shinsou dropped next to him, pulling on the scarf to unravel it from the streetlamp he'd used to swing over from the alley. Lowering the speaker box, he said, "This sure as hell isn't like how we fought back in school."

"We can't fight him head-on," Bakugou pointed out. He hated admitting that, especially to someone like Shinsou who poked at people's sore spots for a living. Maybe he didn't like it though. He'd spent years trying to prove that he could be a hero, only to resort to using underhanded tactics. Using Uraraka's voice to trick Deku couldn't have been easy on him. It was a cold, harsh dig at an old friend. "We have to outsmart him."

"Great," Shinsou replied dryly. "I love it. Sounds easy."

"Use my voice," Bakugou told him. Shinsou eyed him warily. "During the fight, keep using my voice. I'm gonna keep talking too. Say whatever asshole thing you can think of. I don't care. Make me sound like a piece of shit."

"Oh, that _will_ be easy," Shinsou replied. Bakugou grit his teeth. "Anything? What if we push too many buttons and he goes absolutely berzerk?"

"That's a risk we'll have to take," Bakugou said. "We have to get him to respond. And, well" - he waved a hand as the bus began to move - "he can't help himself with me. My mere existence pisses him off right now. You want him to talk? Use me."

Shinso nodded in agreement and lifted the support gear back over his mouth. In a way, it reminded him of Deku's costume. They even had similar dark circles under their eyes now. Deku must have been so tired. How much did that quirk take out of him? And he'd been under it for so long. Did he sleep through the night? Did he eat? Bakugou didn't know why those thoughts came to him now, but…

 _Those are things that friends worry about, isn't it?_ came a snide voice that sounded an awful lot like Deku. _You were never a good friend._

He hadn't been a good friend, least of all to Deku, but he had learned. Kirishima had taught him through his own sheer stubbornness that friendships were important. The others followed after that, no matter how much he tried to push them away. Kaminari, Sero, Ashido, and Jirou during school, Uraraka always on the outskirts because, like Kirishima, no one could truly escape the brightness that radiated from them. Was he the best friend ever? No, that wasn't him. He had his own methods. They got that and never faulted him for it, even if maybe they should have at times.

Bakugou would never say that he and Todoroki were friends, but hell, even they had come to an understanding with each other, especially after Deku's death. His turning hurt like a motherfucker too, if only because he knew how hard he'd struggled to be a hero on his own terms.

"Oi, Deku, you gonna spend all day dragging your feet or what?" Shinsou called out, using Bakugou's voice. He blinked. It was jarring to hear his voice come from someone else, even if his mouth was covered up. It sounded exactly like him, even capturing the seemingly permanent indignation in his voice. Did he really sound angry like that all the time? "You know, maybe I didn't go out of my way to get Uraraka, but it's no wonder she chose me after your weak ass was gone!"

What the fuck? Bakugou shot him a glare. Shinsou, for his part, didn't look abashed at all. He shrugged, as if pointing out, _You told me to make you sound like a piece of shit._ Yeah, he'd done that and more. He gripped the binding cloth in preparation for an attack. No shit after saying something like that. Fuck, he really knew how to get under someone's skin. Even Bakugou was unsettled.

When Deku finally emerged from the bus, green lightning crackled down his arm. He pressed a palm against the bus and shoved it out of his way completely, throwing it down the street, like it was nothing. His glare was downright murderous as he stared Bakugou down. Bakugou bent his knees in a ready stance. He'd known what he was asking Shinsou to do, but that wasn't going to make this any easier. If Deku wanted to believe he was a selfish monster, he would play that role if it meant saving him. Hopefully, Uraraka would forgive him later.

* * *

Uraraka had nearly been too late, but the large piece of concrete she dropped in front of Endeavor at the last second shielded him from the worst of Todoroki and Dabi's combined attack. Their fire crashed into the concrete instead, exploding it into dust and shards of rock. The explosion caused a shockwave strong enough to force Endeavor back, but he was able to use his own flames to keep from being knocked off his feet.

It was close, but she'd made it in time for once.

After saving as many victims from the agency building as possible, Uraraka had leaped into the battle. At first, she had wanted to find Deku, but then her eyes landed on Todoroki and her heart leaped out to him. She had to let the others take care of Deku. She was needed elsewhere. She'd touched the concrete and floated it with the intent of using it for an attack. When she had realized there wasn't time for that, she had thrown it to float over Endeavor and released it from her quirk. He would've survived the attack, but that kind of intense heat would've damaged even someone as fire resistant as him.

Todoroki reared back in surprise, caught off guard by the sudden interruption, and stared at the dust settling in the place where his father had once been. He was either too stunned or indignant to notice Uraraka drop to the ground behind him, forced to release her quirk on herself as well.

Unfortunately, Dabi either heard her or saw her out of the corner of his eyes. He turned to look in her direction and snarled, "Oh, great, your little girl friend is here."

Todoroki only had time to connect eyes with her before she grabbed him by the arm and activated her quirk on him. "I'm sorry!" she exclaimed as she threw him across the street. He crashed into his own ice glacier. Instead of falling to the ground, he continued to float up. She didn't return his gravity to him. Even if he remained conscious, he wouldn't be as dangerous if he couldn't control himself.

As much as it pained her to hurt him in any way, Uraraka needed to get Todoroki out of the fight. If she could get him away from here, maybe she would be able to reach him somehow. He hadn't been under Kyomu's influence nearly as long as Deku. His quirk's claws couldn't be dug into him as deep. One thing for sure was that she had to get him away from his father.

While she took care of Shouto, Endeavor went on the offensive against Dabi, but Uraraka noticed immediately that the number one hero's movements were much more lackluster than she'd seen from him. Normally, when he fought against villains, he left absolutely no room for mercy. Endeavor was not a hero known for his compassion or care. He had total control and finesse over his quirk, but he also knew it was powerful and destructive.

He wasn't like Todoroki, who had learned to use his dangers quirks in a much safer capacity. It was part of why she had always assumed that Todoroki would easily beat his father's tenuous hold on the number one position. Most heroes had known that era was coming to an end, but Uraraka had a feeling some of it had to do with the fact that the public had another flame hero to compare Endeavor to and found him lacking.

(They wouldn't anymore, not after this.)

He lacked something right now - that usual fight and anger in him that was so Endeavor. He had much better control over his flames, but every time they clashed against Dabi's, they seemed to weaken each time. Did it have to do with the difference in temperatures? Dabi's flames were much hotter. It was possible they ate away more of the oxygen in the air and took away from Endeavor's. She didn't know for sure. She'd never paid much attention to chemistry, being more fond of physics. All she knew was that they were hotter. The heat washed over her even from a distance. They were also a brilliant blue, like their eyes.

However, when Uraraka stepped forward to help him, Endeavor held up a hand and shouted, "No, take care of Shouto! Get him out of here! I will handle this!"

"Like hell you will!" Dabi yelled back, sounding both petulant and furious.

Uraraka froze. Endeavor was stronger than Dabi. She knew that. Dabi had to know that too, but he didn't look anywhere close to giving up either. At Endeavor's proclamation, his flames grew even more out of control, smoke seeping out of his arms. Was his quirk actually hurting him? Did he care or even notice?

But for some reason, her gut twisted uncomfortably at the thought of leaving him to do this on his own. The way Endeavor looked at Dabi now, his jaw clenched tightly as he grit his teeth, an almost pained glimmer in his eyes. She would have thought he would be more than pleased than to take down the villain that kidnapped Shouto and turned him into their puppet. The last time she had seen him had been after her debriefing. He had burned with outrage, livid with her accusations. He'd wanted nothing more than to tear the villains apart. So why did he look like this was hurting him?

"Go!" Endeavor ordered. "This is my responsibility!"

Uraraka didn't need to be told twice. She spun on her heels and ran in Shouto's direction, the heat of their flames licking at her heels. Endeavor was the number one hero. He could handle himself, certainly against a villain that his son had already taken down once. Wouldn't it be fitting for his father to do the same?

Shouto was still floating in the air where he'd crashed against his ice, precariously so, but he was slowly returning to consciousness. His hands dangled in the air, his fingers twitching. She didn't want to hurt him, but she also didn't know how he would react to her presence. They had figured that Todoroki wouldn't take kindly to Bakugou, as it would line up with Deku's own hatred for him, but she was different. She was wary to place any importance on herself, but she had to be careful too.

The best option, as much as it irritated her, would be to get Todoroki out of this warzone. He couldn't be in the thick of this where he could cause even more damage. She had to snap him out of it. Hopefully, Kyomu had not twisted his memories of her too much or his loyalty to Deku was stronger than his hatred for his father.

Uraraka snatched Todoroki by the wrist, intending to pull him away, but then he grabbed hers with his left hand. Ice crept up her arm as he activated his quirk, if only a little. She yelped, more in surprise than pain and let go of him, caught off guard by how aware he was. She let go of him and stumbled back. He grabbed hold of her helmet and yanked on it hard, forcing her head down and pulling him closer to the ground.

"Let go of me, Ochako," Todoroki growled.

Uraraka didn't respond. She reached up to grab his wrist again, this time refusing to let go when he used his ice on her. Instead, she used the ice connecting them to her advantage. Activating her quirk on herself, she used the rockets in her boots to launch them both in the air above the fight. His side smacked against hers, but he couldn't pull away because of the ice.

"I don't want to hurt you!" Todoroki shouted through the rush of the wind.

"I don't want to hurt you either!" Uraraka yelled back.

"Then let go!"

"I can't do that!"

Todoroki melted the ice with his left hand. He didn't burn her, even though he could have easily. Once he broke free, he shoved her and swung his leg in a sideways kick. He struck her hard enough to knock the wind out of her. His wrist slipped from her grip and she spiraled out of control in the air away from him. Her rockets shot off in quick spurts to stop her from spinning, but right as she turned herself upright he crashed into her middle. Despite his gravity being negated, he propelled himself in the air with his flames the same way Bakugou flew with his quirk.

They careened wildly through the air. Neither one of them held by gravity, Todoroki's flames threw them about like they were nothing. She clung to him, her fingers digging into his back, when the realization hit her. His goal was the same as hers but vice versa: get her out of the battle. He couldn't fight her or use his full potential with her around, lest he accidentally injure her. Deku wouldn't like that.

He was trying to take her out of commission without even fighting her.

Hell no.

Propping her hands on his back, Uraraka pressed her fingertips together and grunted, "Release!" Gravity returned to them immediately, dragging them to earth in a downward arch.

"Ochako, use your quirk!" Todoroki screamed. One hand of flames would not be able to keep them in the air, not even combining them with Uraraka's rockets. They were only meant to help guide her with her quirk activated, not actually help her fly. Without her quirk, they fell as surely as a comet.

"No!" She would wait until the last possible second to use her quirk. Such feats were normal to her, but Todoroki wasn't as familiar with her quirk as she was. Falling didn't come naturally to him. It never had.

"Ochako- Shit!"

Todoroki changed his grip on her, sliding his left arm around middle, and flipped them around so that she was on top. Throwing out his right hand, he created a long slide made of ice down the side of the building they had been about to crash into. His back and the bottom of his feet hit the ice, but she put a hand over the back of his head to protect him from seriously injuring himself. They slid down, holding onto one another protectively. When they hit the ground, they broke apart and rolled through the rubble until finally coming to a rest.

Uraraka's body ached from the landing, but Todoroki had taken the brunt of everything. He'd shielded her from the worst of it with his own body. As she pushed herself onto her hands and knees, he did the same, but his body shook more than hers. Gravity was a brutal and unforgiving beast. Over the years, she had learned to respect it greatly, as it did not care if a person was a hero, civilian, or villain. And she harnessed that power to be a hero.

"You have to get out of here," Todoroki told her in a pained voice. He touched his right side and winced, but continued to stagger to his feet.

"Not without you," Uraraka proclaimed as she followed suit and stood in front of him.

For a moment, he seemed to sway on the spot, but then righted himself like nothing was wrong. No, he would keep fighting until he had nothing left. She was used to him wearing a blank expression, but there was next to nothing on his eyes now. Her heart ached when she saw that only the pain and anger remained in his eyes. It didn't look right.

"I have to do this," Todoroki said. He closed his eyes and swallowed down a lump in his throat. "I have to-" His right hand trembled as he raised it to rub the side of his head. "I have to get rid of him. I can't stop until I do. I have to-"

Uraraka lurched forward. "You don't have to do anything!"

"Yes, I do!" Todoroki snapped, waving his left hand out in front of him. A wave of fire flared out, forcing her to a halt and nearly singing her outstretched hands.

"No, you don't!" Uraraka retorted. "This isn't you! This isn't what you want!"

"What I want? What I want?" Todoroki dragged his hand down and pressed it against his heart. "I want him gone! I want this nightmare over! I want him to suffer for what he did! He ruined my life! He created our family for one sole purpose and he used and abused us until there was nothing and no one left except for me to manipulate and mold into what he wanted! What he wanted!"

Tears sprung to Uraraka's eyes. "I know!" She jerked off her helmet and added in a softer voice, "I know." She held out her hands again and took a tentative step toward him. "What he did to you was awful and unfair and-and I can't even begin to comprehend it. I'll never understand what you went through."

"You didn't… You shouldn't have to." Todoroki shook his head. "He broke us all in different ways. Mom was beaten. Fuyumi was used. Natsuo was neglected. And Touya…" A strangled half-cry/half-laugh slipped out from his mouth. "He made him burn and burn until he went mad. He burned himself until he looked like the monster our father was and ran away. And our dad just erased my brother from our lives like he was trash."

Uraraka stared in horror as Todoroki broke down. He was falling apart right in front of her. Kyomu really had torn him to pieces and haphazardly glued him back together. It was real - she knew it was real - but then it wasn't. Old memories forcibly dragged back to the surface and planted in the forefront of his mind so it was all he could think about. Things he had forgotten or maybe pushed aside in an attempt to move on.

"He's back now though and I have to…" Todoroki was eerily calm as he gazed down at the ground. He wasn't here though. He was locked in his head, lost somewhere in the memories Kyomu had forced upon him again. For once, she hoped he had made them worse. If they were simply real memories he'd repressed to protect himself…

"Wait." Uraraka pulled her hands away. "He's back?"

"I know he thinks he has to do this," Todoroki continued frantically, talking more to himself now. "That he has to take our father down and it's his job to-to protect me because he didn't finish the job before. Stupid idiot. He should have just said something in the beginning all those years ago. I would've understood. I-I would have made sure our dad paid the price then. But he's so fucking stubborn and I have to do this for us both. He can't. I was created to take down the number one hero and that's what I'm going to do."

Uraraka held a hand over her mouth. "Dabi's your brother."

"I feel so stupid," Todoroki said. "I knew it. A part of me knew it right from the start, but I didn't want to believe it could happen. That my own brother-" He stopped himself and took a deep breath. "I was wrong. He didn't turn on us. He got out. He escaped. Everyone else crumbled under our father's iron fist. I was just the last one standing and even then- it wasn't me. This wasn't me. Did I even want to become a hero? I don't know. There was never a time when I was allowed to think of being anything else."

 _You're a hero to me,_ Uraraka wanted to say, but she couldn't get the words out of her mouth.

"This isn't you either," she managed, but the words rang hollow and caught in her throat. Hadn't she said the same thing to Deku once upon a time?

A massive explosion echoed around them, the ground rumbling under their feet and glass shattering, but it was impossible to tell who it was from. Blue flames flickered to her right, but she'd seen Bakugou struggling against Deku on her left. Uraraka used Todoroki's brief moment of distraction against him, shooting forward again. He turned in time to catch her, grabbing her by the wrist again, and she smiled in grim determination.

However, before she could take him out, someone shouted, "Shouto!" and he switched gears.

"I'm sorry," he told her, looking her directly in the eyes. She thought - she could've sworn - he meant it. Pain streaked through those two small words.

Ice shot out from his foot below her. She leapt, activating her quirk on herself, and planted her feet on his chest. Using him as a base, she kicked off as hard as she could in order to rip her wrist out of his grip and fly back into the air, but the ice encased her left foot, leaving her to dangle like a balloon.

"Shouto, don't!" Uraraka shouted, grabbing her calf and jerking on it.

"I have to do this." His voice had that hard, cold edge to it again as he turned to leave. "You'll be safe out of the way here. That's what Deku would want. He didn't want you involved in this." He hesitated, but he didn't glance back at her. "You told me- You told me it was okay. That I deserved to breathe. You wouldn't hold it against me if I stopped fighting and did something for myself."

Uraraka's lips wobbled as tears slid down her dirty, pink cheeks. She didn't know what to say. She couldn't. His words confirmed her worst fears. Somehow, Kyomu had taken their emotionally charged time together in those cells - maybe the nights where they saved one another after Deku's death - and pit them to against him. She wanted to scream, but she was terrified cries would slip out instead.

"You'll be safe," Todoroki repeated, as if to reassure himself, and then he was off.

"No!" Uraraka cried out, jerking frantically on her ankle. She turned on the rocket boosters up to full blast in an attempt to melt the ice or pull out of the ice, even if it messed up her foot in the process. "No, no, no! Shouto, don't do it! Come back! Shouto! Come back!"

But he never did.

The sounds of multiple fights collided around her, but somehow, her and Todoroki's fight had taken her to the very outskirts of it. That put her in the safest position, but stuck in one place, if another villain with ideas similar to Ikeda were to happen upon her or she got caught in the crosshairs, she'd be little more than a sitting duck.

Uraraka didn't give a shit about that. She cared about the fact that her friends were out there risking their lives, willing to give them up, and she was stuck here capable of doing nothing. A wave of weakness washed over her, reminding her of those first two years at UA when she had struggled to keep up with the others. For so long, she felt like she was little more than a straggler, clinging to the waistcoats of Deku, Bakugou, and Todoroki. Even Iida and Momo stood leagues above her. She just wanted to be good enough. Strong enough. Worthy enough to be called a damn hero.

Struggling and crying as she tried to pull her leg free, Uraraka didn't feel like a hero. It hurt her that Todoroki could so callously set her aside like this, even if it was his attempt at keeping her out of harm's way. Damnit, he was trying to save her - he had protected her - and it wasn't fair. She didn't care if what he'd said was true - that maybe he had never wanted to be a hero in the first place - because he had become one anyway despite all the pain and trauma attached to it, just as Deku had.

The two of them had been beaten into the ground, had their faces rubbed in the dirt, were hurt by the same hands that should've helped them. Still, they had risen above all of that to become heroes, two brilliant, shining examples to show the world. And Kyomu had used those same memories that had made them the heroes they were and twisted them to turn them into villains. They were little more than dark mirrored version of themselves and she hated it with everything in her heart. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fucking fair.

Why couldn't she do anything? Why couldn't she save Deku and bring him back into the light when she'd let him take her with the villains? Why hadn't she protected Todoroki and shielded him from the villains better? Why couldn't she reach either one of them now? It was like she meant so much to them and yet so little at the same time. They looked at her, but they didn't really see her, like in those first two years until she'd finally come into her own and they'd matured enough to step back and realize they were thinking about things all wrong.

It was wrong now. How could they not see that? How had Kyomu made them so blind to what they knew in their hearts to be true?

"Uraraka!"

Relief exploded inside of Uraraka's chest, almost making her sputter into frustrated tears all over again, when Iida skidded to a halt in front of her. "Iida, thank gods, get me out of this!"

"Todoroki did this?" Iida asked as he examined the ice carefully.

"Yes, I have to stop him! He's going to kill Endeavor!"

Iida could use the fire that streamed from his engines. It would be safer, but would waste too much precious time. They were already behind as it was. He hesitated and then shook his head, bending his knees to get into a ready stance once he made his decision. "Shield your eyes. This might hurt."

He swung his leg hard at the ice, using his engines to power up the kick. His boot connected with the ice surrounding her leg, shattering it into pieces. Pain shot all the way up her leg, causing her to grip it and float further into the air with nothing hold her down. He pulled her back down so she could safely release her quirk on herself. It hurt to put all her weight on it immediately, the pain turning into a dull throb, but it would go away. Either that or she would pretend it did.

Nervous energy hummed around Iida the longer he stood still. His mask was on, but she could tell he was gazing in the direction of Todoroki and Dabi's fight with Endeavor. "I saw Bakugou and Shinsou fighting Deku-"

"Go to them."

Iida snapped his attention down to her. "But-"

"You know how strong Deku is," Uraraka cut in, not unkindly. "They need all the help they can get. Deku...still respects you, I think. Maybe it'll cause him to hold back. I don't know."

"Todoroki is..."

"I know," Uraraka said, swallowing down the bile that kept threatening to come up her throat. She could get to him. For a moment at the end, she could've sworn she saw him trying to claw his way to out. All she had to do was help him dig, but fear sat in the back of her mind, whispering that she was too late. She put a hand on Iida's arm, taking away the gravity of his suit's armor. It would give a little more speed at least. "Go!"

Maybe in high school, Iida might've argued with her decision, but his engines roared to life and he was off, leaving her in the dust. Uraraka turned in the opposite direction, running and climbing through the broken street, rubble, and destroyed vehicles. Her leg protested, but she ignored it. The pain was ebbing away. Nothing was broken. She could still fight. She could still save him. She could still save-

Multiple things happened all at once: there was a loud crack that sounded like a gun, blue flames roared to life, a man screamed, "No!" and a high-pitch sound that Uraraka recognized as Todoroki's ice sliced through the air.

The blue flames sputtered out, dying abruptly as if someone had doused them.

Uraraka's foot caught on something soft and she staggered, falling down to the ground on one knee and scraping it badly. When she looked back to see what she'd tripped over, she nearly threw up at the sight of the broken body. So damaged, she couldn't tell if it was hero or villain. They wore some sort of costume, but she couldn't tell exactly what it had been. It didn't matter. She pushed herself back up and kept running.

The fight between Endeavor and Dabi (and perhaps a few other heroes and villains, judging by the state of the area) had cleared out a spot. She was so close. She was almost there. Dabi must have been hit. That was why the flames had gone out. It was just Endeavor and Todoroki fighting now most likely. She could do it. Uraraka squeezed through a piece of iced over concrete and a car to get into the clearly, stumbling once more.

Instead of what she'd hoped to find, it was not a triumphant Endeavor trying to subdue his youngest son, but the exact opposite. Endeavor, the number one hero, was lying on the ground, the flames of his costume flickering as if the wind was trying to blow them out. Blood seeped out from a wound from somewhere. Had he been shot? Dabi lorded over him, pale and sweaty and literally smoking, with a boot pressed down hard on the hero's chest. Todoroki stood next to him, a distant and empty expression on his face, utterly still.

Endeavor stared up at them silently, a hard expression on his face even as he panted. (His sons. He was looking at his sons. Todoroki hadn't been the only one to suffer.) He said something that Uraraka couldn't hear, but it must have been the wrong thing to say. Dabi sneered and leaned down further, pressing his boot down even harder, and Endeavor grunted in pain. The scarred villain offered a hand and looked at Todoroki, patiently waiting for an answer that he'd been waiting to hear for so long.

For a brief second, it was like the world held its breath as Todoroki considered his next move before he finally shook his head. He took a deep breath and then formed an ice spear before plunging it into his father's chest.

A wordless scream was ripped out of Uraraka's throat. She slapped her hands over her mouth to muffle it in case the noise caught their attention but it didn't. Both Todoroki and Dabi were too lost in their own world to notice her. She had expected them to look pleased or relieved as they watched their father bleed out - at the least Dabi - but there was something off about both of them. Dabi looked strangely empty while Todoroki wore an almost confused expression on his face.

Their nightmare was gone. It was over. Or maybe, in truth, it had just begun and they were realizing it only now.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes:** So originally, this was supposed to have a Bakugou POV too, but then the chapter got too long. At 9k, these two scenes sit on their own. I wanted this "arc" to be three chapters, but once I finished these scenes, I realized that the chapter was going to be like 18k if I added the next scene. I was concerned that it would be an overload of really important scenes. It might feel a little weird not seeing Bakugou, Deku, and the others (only hearing), but trust me when I say the next part is gonna be big. The next chapter is already done, so that's a relief at least.

* * *

" _I know, better than anyone else, that there are no heroes coming to save us. There are no good Epics. None of them protect us. Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."_  
 **―** **Brandon Sanderson, Steelheart**

* * *

Leaving Uraraka was more difficult than he could've imagined. He had to get her out of the way. Underestimating her would be a mistake. During their time at UA, so many people had overlooked her, but Todoroki knew she and her quirk were a force of nature. Like any hero should, she did not hesitate to drop herself into the thick of battle and put her entire heart into fighting back. She could get injured or killed and they wouldn't be able to do a thing about it while locked in their own battles.

That was the problem with Deku. He was too trusting, even now. He might've deluded himself into believing these villains wouldn't hurt her, but Todoroki didn't trust them for a second. Even Dabi, who had refrained from hurting her multiple times, might turn on her if he was in danger of getting caught and not being able to finish his goal. In their own way, the villains cared about Deku, but that only meant they'd kill Uraraka if they thought it served a better purpose and might help him. It would be easy to explain her death away as collateral damage.

Todoroki couldn't allow that. He couldn't let her get hurt because they were too caught up in their own struggles. Despite his distractions, the telltale rumbles and explosions echoed around him, reminding him that somewhere on this street Deku and Bakugou were engaged in a battle. Still, he had to remain focused on Uraraka before he could help his best friend – and he had to kill his father.

His mind had screamed as he fought her, pulling him in two different directions, a tornado of conflicting desires and needs. His boiling hatred for his father and need to erase him from his life jerked him one way, demanding that he leave her behind and return to helping Dabi take Endeavor down. She wasn't important. She wasn't what he needed right now. Later. He would deal with her later and then he would help Deku take down Bakugou. Another false hero off the charts.

However, he couldn't possibly ignore her. She wasn't a hero he could knock off. She was good, true, kind and she would either get in his way or get hurt. Using his ice to contain her was the quickest solution he had. He took her out of harm's way. This was the safest place for her. She was good. Yes, she was furious with him now, crying out for him and desperately trying to pull her leg out of the ice, but it didn't matter. He'd rather her be alive and angry with him than dead and nothing.

"You'll be safe." Not even he could tell if he was telling her or himself. She had to be. If something were to happen to her, Deku would never forgive him, but, even worse, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself either.

 _Stay with her. Maybe she's right. She's going to get herself killed trying to save us._

 _No!_ a voice screamed. His conscience? _You need to do this! You'll never be able to live until he's gone! Do it! Show him just how strong he made you._

Todoroki took off without another word, Uraraka's shrieks chasing him. He couldn't look back. If he looked back, he would be lost. Arguing with her had jarred something loose in his head and it rattled around noisily, distracting and confusing him. His head pounded something fierce despite her protecting him when they crashed into his ice wall. He tried to blink the pain away, but it wouldn't stop. A siren blared in his head and he had to– had to get rid of Endeavor– had to wipe the slate clean so he could start from scratch.

Massive explosions and green and red lightning crackled behind him, but all he latched onto the powerful flames rising in the air ahead of him. Brilliant blues and incredible oranges and reds bleeding together into the color of a sunset. Even from a distance, he could feel the residual heat in the air that the fire caused. Anyone without fire resistance would swelter in this heat. It forced everyone back, keeping other heroes and villains alike out of the fight. Todoroki didn't have that problem. This arena was made for him.

Once he stepped into the clearing their fight had caused, Todoroki frowned. Dabi was holding his own, but was starting to fare poorly against Endeavor. It was only to be expected. Once he had explained the full lengths of his quirk, Todoroki had finally understood why he had shined where Touya had failed. His fire quirk was incompatible with his body, therefore making him a dud in Endeavor's eyes. Pushing his quirk to make his flames stronger than their father's had nearly killed him (and in a way it had), but Dabi's hotter firepower and support gear had nothing on Endeavor's decades of experience.

That was where Todoroki stepped in. He would fill in the gaps where Dabi lacked. Together, they would finally end the reign of the man that had controlled, manipulated, and ruined every aspect of their lives. Endeavor had taken away so much from them: their freedom, future, hop. He had taken Touya away from him. Yes, he was here now and Todoroki felt strangely grateful, but Dabi wasn't Touya, not anymore. That boy had been burned away a long time ago.

Todoroki lifted his left hand to attack when something caught his attention. Something glimmered in the light of the flames and moved at his right. He looked over in time to see an injured cop aiming a gun at Dabi, who caught sight of him as well. Too weakened to dodge completely, Dabi threw a haphazard column of flames at the cop in an attempt to protect himself, but it left him open to be attacked by Endeavor.

It didn't happen.

Endeavor saw the cop too and shouted, "No!" right as the cop squeezed off a shot. Instead of attacking Dabi, he lurched forward and the bullet, which would've struck Dabi in the chest, pierced him in the gut.

Todoroki responded immediately, using his right foot to create multiple beams of ice that crashed into Endeavor's back with a sickening crunch. His father was knocked face first into the ground and skidded painfully through the rubble. For good measure, Todoroki made his ice slide past him and encase the cop as well. He cried out in shock from the cold and dropped the gun, unable to focus on anything else while the ice froze him.

Dabi stood still as well, breathing heavily and staring at the struggling form of their father on the ground as smoke poured from him. Blood seeped out from the gunshot wound, but it was hard to tell if it was life-threatening. It depended on what organs were hit. Gunshot wounds were fickle like that. The ice attack looked like it might have hurt him more. The shell-shocked expression on Dabi's pale, scarred face looked misplaced. Todoroki understood why he looked that way.

What had their father been thinking? Had he actually believed protecting Dabi would change their mind about killing him? Like one good deed outweighed all his horrific ones?

Endeavor was their father. He was supposed to protect them. Staring now was thirty or so years too late.

A dark look overcame Dabi as his face twisted into a furious snarl. Ah, the same questions must have come to him. He stormed over to their father and kicked him in the side as hard as he could. Endeavor grunted in pain, but he didn't get up. The fires of his costume flickered, some of them dying out.

"Oh, does it hurt?" Dabi growled. "Are you tired? Are you injured? Do you need a moment to breathe?" He kicked him in the side again. "Get up." Kick. "Get up!" He kicked wildly over and over again, blue flames flashing around his hands. He didn't even seem to notice he'd activated his quirk. "It doesn't matter if you're hurt! If you feel like you're going to die! A hero doesn't give up! Stop being so pathetic! Get the fuck up!"

"Touya–" their father wheezed out, grabbing his ankle to stop his kicks.

Dabi ripped his ankle out of his grip and staggered backward. "Don't. Don't you fucking dare." He would've fallen had Todoroki not stepped up behind him and caught him with a hand on his back.

"Calm down," Todoroki said.

"Fuck that!" Dabi ripped away from him and furiously paced in a circle. He took a few deep breaths and ran a hand down his face, streaking blood that had seeped from where his staples had torn his skin further. "Fuck that," he added in a duller tone, staring down but not seeing anything. Todoroki understood that well. Oftentimes he tripped into a memory and had to claw his way back out.

His father struggled to get up. "Shouto, don't." The gunshot hadn't hurt him nearly as much as the ice's direct hit. Todoroki wouldn't be surprised if he'd broken a bone or two. He could've killed him right then, but it hadn't felt right. No, he wanted to look his father in the eyes when he died. He wanted to see the light go out in them so he'd know for sure the monster was dead and the nightmare was finally over. "This isn't you. It's the quirk. Whatever he did to you, I'm sorry. I couldn't save you. I couldn't–"

A burst of blue flames exploded in their father's face, forcing him down, and Dabi reared on him. "Shut the fuck up!" He stomped his boot heel down on the gunshot wound and dug in deep. It was a testament to Endeavor's strength that he didn't howl, but merely grit his teeth and grunted, bearing the pain. "We wouldn't even be in this position if it wasn't for you." He straightened and gestured around them. "This isn't what you wanted? Someone with a quirk strong enough to take down the number one hero? Or only when it wasn't you? Because I gotta say, you're pretty fucking hypocritical as it is."

Their father didn't say a word this time. Perhaps he knew better or maybe he simply didn't have anything to say. It was obvious they had judged him and found him guilty enough to be deserving of death. He didn't look angry. The thought niggled in the back of Todoroki's mind, itching its way to the forefront to be heard, but he shoved it down. Of course his father was angry. He hated this. He hated them for not being exactly what he'd wanted. He didn't give a shit about either one of them.

Dabi snorted in disdain. "You're just pissed a failure like me managed to make myself stronger than you and helped take you down." They stared at one another, their eyes mirror images. How had Todoroki not seen it before? How had their father? It made some sort of sense for him not to remember since he had been young when Touya had vanished in the night and separated from his siblings. But their father couldn't even recognize his own son right in front of him? "Who's the pathetic one now? You should've killed me instead of trying to play the hero. Because that's not me."

"You are my greatest failure," their father told him. To Dabi's credit, he didn't even flinch. "Because I failed you. I wasn't a father. I wasn't a hero. I tried to turn you both into what I wanted and I was wrong, but Kyomu is doing the same thing. He's using you the way I did. Don't let him. You deserve better and I'm–"

"Wrong answer," Dabi interrupted with a sneer, pushing further down on his chest with his boot. "You don't get to say that. We don't need your apologies. We just need you gone."

Todoroki stayed silent. For some reason, it felt important to let Dabi and Endeavor speak. Besides the fight outside of Kaminari's apartment, he couldn't remember the last time they had talked. How long had it been since Touya's accident? Since the morning he dragged himself down to the kitchen for breakfast and found Fuyumi sobbing hysterically on the floor. Touya and their father had gotten into a huge argument the night before, hadn't they? It was hard to remember. Some things were so vivid while others were distant.

( _"Where's Touya?"_ he asked from the floor, panting with the effort to get up.

His father glared at him from above, his facial features pulled into a look of disgust. " _He's gone."_

And just like that, he was and they were never to talk about him again. But he was here, he'd been with him for years, they'd fought against each other and now they were together and it made sense, it felt right, it was better–)

Dabi finally looked over to him and held out a smoking hand. Considering that he had been mad with rage moment's earlier and all too eager to hunt down Endeavor, there was a rather patient expression on his face now. Not bored, not distant, not unimpressed. Patient. Like an older brother. Todoroki's eyes dropped down to his hand. He knew what it meant. He was offering to dirty his hands and shoulder the weight, but their father's death would only make him lighter. He couldn't breathe under Endeavor's reign, weighed down by the chains of his past that not even Kyomu could help him with.

(" _If I could've done more for you…"_ Kyomu sighed. " _Uraraka wanted me to ease your pain."_

" _It's okay. Some things you shouldn't forget._ ")

"No," Todoroki murmured, shaking his head, "this is what I was meant to do."

He took a deep breath and formed a thick ice spear in his right hand. Looking him directly in the eyes, Todoroki plunged the spear into his father's chest as hard as he could until it hit the ground underneath him and let go.

Todoroki took a deep breath, fully expecting to feel relief as his father choked on his own blood. Instead, he felt uncertain. This was not the time for that. He didn't know where the feeling came from. He had spent his entire life wanting to be free of this monster and he finally was. He'd never truly been able to make his own choices, not with Endeavor's shadow hanging over him like a cloud. Finally, he had stepped up and made his move. A lifetime filled with hatred, pain, and longing – all because of this man and his stupid, petty goals – and he was done with it. He could breathe easy. The nightmare was over. This was what he wanted, all he dreamed about, what he desperately needed.

Wasn't it?

Why didn't he feel happy? He should feel something, but the lack of anything on his end didn't make sense. He stared down at the man with a furrowed brow, a twisted panic building up in his chest, nausea twisting his guts. Why did each breath he take feel as painful as it looked for Endeavor to do? Todoroki breathed heavily through his nose, his chest rising and falling, as frustration swirled in his mind. Next to him, Dabi was absolutely silent and still, as if he had nothing left to give.

Nothing at all. This was nothing like he'd expected. No triumph, no laughter, no smirk, no "Congratulations, little brother, you did it." What was wrong with them?

Kill his father. Rid himself of the nightmare. Breathe. Live. He could live now. What was wrong? Why did this feel like a mistake? Something was missing, but he couldn't find the piece as the light in his father's eyes dimmed. Todoroki looked around as if he could find it, but there was nothing except blood, ice, and rubble. Endeavor looked painfully human as all the flames from his costume fully extinguished, leaving him little more than a broken man."

Why did this hurt? It wasn't supposed to hurt. It was supposed to feel good, freeing. He was supposed to be free.

"This is your fault," Todoroki said in a strained voice. "I just wanted one thing – one damn thing – and you're taking this away from too. Why can't I enjoy this? Why do you have to ruin everything?" He melted the ice spear, but that didn't take away the hole in his father's chest. Before he knew it, he was on his knees and gripping the front of Endeavor's costume, jerking on him wildly. "Answer me, damnit! It's always about you! Why? Why can't you let me have this one thing? I just wanted an end to this!"

"Shouto–" Strong hands wrapped around his arms, pulling him back, and Todoroki fought to shrug them off. He was felt like she was being dragged back to a strange reality he didn't understand. He didn't want to go there where things didn't fit. "Shouto, stop it; we have to go–"

"This is what I wanted!" Shouto shouted, as if repeating it out loud would make him feel something – anything – that made sense. He ignored Dabi hunched over him trying to drag him away, pushing back on him again. All he could see was his father dying. The blood seeping out, pooling around his body, soaking into the knees of his pants and his hands as it spread over his father's costume. "This can't be it. There's _nothing_."

Endeavor choked as he fought to breathe. Blood dribbled out of his mouth, streaking down his chin and across his cheek, but he managed to lift a trembling hand. That was the strength of Endeavor. He couldn't just lie down and die, not like Todoroki wished he would. Instead of touching Todoroki, however, he laid his on Dabi's arm, his blood staining the brace on his sleeve and the scars on his exposed skin. "My son…"

An incredibly alarmed expression pulled at Dabi's features, but unlike before, he didn't jerk away. It was like he was incapable of focusing on more than one thing, his brain unable to process even moving.

"Get...Shouto…" – their father struggled with every word, but Dabi was frozen in a crouch, staring at his face, while Shouto held his breath – "away..."

Violent, bloody coughs interrupted Endeavor, but it was all he needed to say. Dabi snapped out of whatever fog he'd fallen into, slowly sliding his arm out of Endeavor's weak grip. His hand fell back to his chest over the horrific wound. With two puncture wounds to the chest, it was only a matter of seconds before he bled out. No one would be in time to save him. Tightening one hand on Todoroki's arm, Dabi wrapped his other arm around his chest and hoisted him to his feet, dragging him kicking and screaming away from Endeavor.

"Get off me!" Todoroki snapped, fighting back against Dabi. Both of his quirks flickered to life, like a switch being flicked on and off, but Dabi refused to let go of him. The ice didn't bother him, Todoroki knew his fire stung him fiercely, judging from the way he hissed in pain, but the bastard only held on tighter.

"Stop fighting me, Shouto," Dabi snapped, jerking on him so hard that Shouto's feet were briefly lifted from the ground. "We have to get out of here–" Something zipped through the air and struck him in the shoulder. "Shit!"

Shouto slipped out of Dabi's loosened grip, his feet slamming on the ground, and turned around to snap at his brother for holding him back. Instead of arguing with him, Dabi stumbled backward, holding onto his shoulder, and crashed against a burned out car. Shouto stared at him, watching as blood similar to his father's seeped out of from underneath his hand and down his wrist and jacket.

"Wha–?" Shouto blinked, his eyes falling down to the feather on the ground at Dabi's feet. Realization dawned on him quickly. He knew every hero in the top one hundred, after all, considering that he had been in the top five. A cold feeling settled into his gut, rage boiling over until it was all he could feel. It was the only emotion that made sense. He couldn't understand why he wasn't pleased with his father's death. He couldn't make sense of why it hurt so much. That wasn't what Kyomu promised. He said it would feel good. He'd be free.

Maybe he had to rid the top of a few more fakes first. After all, it wasn't like no one had known that Endeavor wasn't a good person. How could they miss all the telltale signs of abuse? They knew and they didn't care. They worked alongside him like it wasn't a big deal, just another thing they could look over for the greater good. It didn't matter if Endeavor had to step all over his family to get to the top.

Shouto took a deep breath and lifted his gaze from the feather. "Hello, Hawks."

"Aw, Shouto, I really didn't want it to come to this," Hawks sighed, crouched over Endeavor. He stood up now, his right hand painted red.

It didn't matter. It would always come to this. Maybe he wasn't meant to make it out in the end either.

* * *

Uraraka couldn't move. Her mind screamed at her to do something. Run. Fight. Save him. ( _You have to save the number one hero. You can't let Shouto kill his father. You can't let him do this to himself._ ) But it was as if Todoroki had frozen her to the ground with his quirk.

This couldn't be happening. It couldn't. She was going to save him. She was going to make sure that he didn't do the one thing Kyomu had manipulated him into doing.

Witnessing the destruction of Endeavor's agency had been painful enough. It was hard to believe she could bring him back from that. If she did manage to break from of the hold Kyomu had on him, Todoroki would be devastated. There was no beating around the bush: he had killed innocent people. She couldn't be certain of his motives. Had he done it to bring Endeavor out of hiding? Had he done it as punishment for ignoring or looking away from his father's crimes towards his family? Had he even cared about them at all? Had he even considered them when he penetrated the building with his ice?

Even after wafting through the horror inside the agency, Uraraka thought she could still save him. He would never be the same after the attack, but he could come back from this. Killing his father would break him. She didn't know if he could ever recover from that; she didn't know if he would want to anymore. Maybe the quirk would start to crack once he did the job and found it lacking. He could snap out of it, but he could always dig in deeper as a coping mechanism.

How would he react if he got exactly what he thought he wanted, only to find out it wasn't real? Deku had started to fall deeper into his delusions about his future with Uraraka once she was with him. It wasn't what he'd pictured. Instead of coming out of it, his mind reinforced the false reality even further. They needed it to be true after everything that they'd done. If it wasn't...

If these things weren't what they truly wanted – Bakugou's and Endeavor's deaths, the end of a corrupt hero society – then all they had done would be for nothing. They had killed and shattered lives and shaken the foundation of the community for no damn reason. It was horrifying. Their minds literally might not be able to take it. Not everyone could handle Kyomu's quirk. What if that was the final piece? Once their false thoughts and memories shifted back into reality, they completely broke down, like a vehicle that was driven until it broke down for good and had to be junked.

What if that was Todoroki now?

Tears welled in her eyes over her hands as his visage began to crack. He switched from confused to furious in a matter of seconds. He dropped to his knees and grasped Endeavor by his costume, shaking him and screaming for answers. His expression was contorted into one of rage, but his voice was raw with pain, confusion, and grief. Was he crying? She didn't think he even realized tears were slipping down his face.

"This is what I wanted!" Shouto cried out desperately as Dabi tried to pull him away from their dying father.

It wasn't. Once upon a time, Todoroki had hated his father. He had wanted to do everything he could to prove that he was better and stronger than him without using the fire half of his quirk. He had wanted absolutely nothing to do with him - but even then, he hadn't wanted his father dead. They had a complicated relationship and they always would. Endeavor had seen to it that Todoroki would never fully be able to trust or love him like a son should a father. He had hated him, but wishing for his death never crossed his mind.

Not like it had his oldest brother's. No wonder Kyomu had been able to twist Todoroki's memories so easily. One son had already fallen to the wayside. Somehow, Todoroki had remained strong. He had been good and heroic, if only out of spite in the beginning. It could've easily gone the other way, if Dabi was anything to go by.

Kyomu tipped the scale in the other direction, leaving Uraraka to watch as the brothers struggled to handle the reality of what they'd finally accomplished.

"Uravity."

She blinked at the familiar-sounding voice and a gloved hand on her shoulder, startling in shock when feathers flashed in her vision. When she turned her head fully, Hawks was standing next to her, an unreadable expression on his face. She struggled to find the words, but all she could do was say in a hollow tone, "I was too late; I couldn't save him." She wasn't sure if she was talking about Shouto or Endeavor.

"We've still got a job to do," Hawks told her, holding out a pair of quirk inhibitor braces. He looked more serious than she'd ever seen him. He wasn't the young hero he used to be, back when she was a UA student. She and her friends had slowly started to take his place as the new generation, but he was still an incredible hero. Swallowing her grief, she nodded and took the braces. "Can you get through to Shouto?"

"I…" Uraraka swung her gaze back to Todoroki, who was fighting against Dabi like a lost boy. "I don't know."

"Not good enough."

Uraraka steeled her nerves. "I will."

"Better. We have to take him out if we want a shot at containing Deku too. His defense is too strong, but he looks unsettled right now." Hawks popped his neck. "I'll make an opening and get them away from Endeavor." He flapped his wings in preparation to take off. "I can't believe I was this late to the party."

Without another warning, he was off. She was always amazed by how fluid Hawks was in the air. He took to the skies like he was meant to be there instead of on the ground. She loved floating and felt at home there, but it was nothing like him. She didn't have his dexterity or his maneuverability yet. Instead of heading straight for them, Uraraka slipped around the side so she could come up on them from behind. With firepower like theirs, fighting them head-on would be a mistake for her. She needed to subdue Todoroki and clamp the braces on him.

Striking Dabi in the shoulder with one of his feathers as he dropped down next to Endeavor, Hawks broke Dabi and Todoroki apart. A grimace flickered across his face after briefly examining the fallen number one hero before he wiped his expression clean again.

While he had been struggling seconds ago, Todoroki went deadly still and silent as he stared at the offending feather on the ground. Slowly, he turned around and lifted his gaze to connect eyes with Hawks, a terrible chill settling in his mismatched eyes. Uraraka's stomach twisted when she realized his gaze was starting to look empty like Deku's. Despite the rage and despair on his face moments before, there was nothing in his voice when he greeted, "Hello, Hawks."

Even though Uraraka knew he could see her creeping up from behind, Hawks didn't even blink as he stood up and flippantly replied, "Aw, Shouto, I really didn't want it to come to this."

"Then leave," Shouto told him.

Hawks shook his head. "You know I can't do that."

A faint sneer crossed Shouto's face. It didn't look right on him. "Of course not. You were always up my father's ass. You knew he was a piece of shit, but you admired him anyway." Hawks didn't react, but kept his gaze forward and unwavering so that Todoroki remained focused on him. "Doesn't matter. Everything about you is fake. You're just a cardboard cutout for people to latch onto. You don't really give a damn about being a hero."

"Tell me how you really feel," Hawks said.

A handful of his feathers ruffled in preparation. Todoroki breathed out, cold fog puffing out in a cloud, as he activated the ice half of his quirk. Before either one of them could attack, blue fire roared to life in between them, creating a thick forty-foot wall that forced Hawks a step back.

Todoroki blinked in surprise and rounded on Dabi. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I told you to go!" Dabi snapped. His shoulder of his jacket was singed, smoke seeping from it. He'd used his own flames to cauterize the wound, making Uraraka think of his half-assed suggestion when Todoroki's arm had been sliced. Something to stop the bleeding now, but bad in the long run. Considering the scars littering his body, he didn't much care about things like that. He stepped forward, flames overtaking his hands. "Nice to see you again, Hawks. You're welcome for the promotion, by the way. Isn't this the second time you've risen a rank because someone has died?"

"You can't be serious!" Todoroki snapped. "You can't take on the number one hero and then the number two on your own. There's no way you can fight him and win without me. You can't do this alone!"

Dabi knew this very well, but despite the pain on his face and the fact that his body was literally smoking at the seams, he grinned. It didn't reach his eyes. "Who says I'm alone?"

An object as small as a pebble sailed in the air over their heads, reflecting off of Dabi's flames like glass. Her eyes widened. Not a pebble, a marble. A bright light flashed in the air and the perfectly smooth marble transformed into a truck as Mr. Compress released his quirk. It passed through the flame wall and exploded, sending shrapnel everywhere. Uraraka was forced to duck behind a chunk of rubble while Todoroki threw up a wall of ice to protect himself and Dabi. Separated from him by the fire, she had no idea if Hawks had been able to escape or shield himself. She could only hope he'd seen it and reacted in time.

"Now get out of here!" Dabi ordered. He snatched Todoroki by the back of his jacket and jerked him away from his ice. Todoroki stumbled, but then took a step as if meaning to do as he was told, when a feather caught him by his sleeve and pulled him out of the fight.

"Go!" Hawks shouted from above.

Uraraka jumped to her feet and bolted in the direction Todoroki was taken. Flames chased after her. She used her quirk to float herself and the jets to boost her speed to escape Dabi's attack. Todoroki threw up another wall of ice to stop the feather from dragging him away even further. His feet slammed against the ice hard enough to crack it.

She deactivated her quirk on herself and grabbed Todoroki by the wrist, quickly activating it on him. Twisting his arm behind his back, she moved to cuff him. However, he shot off a burst of flames and rolled with it, flipping them so that she was underneath him and dragged him to the ground with her gravity. The rough landing knocked the air out of her lungs and forced her to loosen her hold. He broke fully out of her grasp and kicked off of her, shooting into the air out of her reach. This time, he didn't hesitate to use his flames to launch further away. Uraraka scrambled to her feet and did the same using the jets in her boots.

Once she was close to him, she released her quirk and tapped herself again before she could fall. Todoroki didn't have the same luck, immediately dropping without anything keeping him up. He tried to create another ice slide so he could safely return to the ground, but the awkward and abrupt fall left him open for attack. Before the ice could make it fully to the ground, she kicked down on him as he fell past her, interrupting him. The half-made slide shattered like glass when it hit the ground and he landed painfully after.

Uraraka dropped down over top of him. She managed to slap one cuff over his left wrist, pulling it behind his back again, but he pushed up with his right, knocking her on her side. He twisted to roll on top, pinning her underneath him. She connected a hit under his chin, but he grabbed her wrists to slam on the ground above her head.

"Stop it!" Todoroki ordered in a hoarse shout.

"Listen to me," Uraraka said breathlessly. "You're hurt. You're wounded. Upset. Confused." He struggled to focus on her. He was zeroed in on his goals before. While he was no less intense, when he looked down at her now, it was like he couldn't even see straight. He sounded furious, but he looked so hurt, tears pricking at his eyes. "It's not what you thought it would be, was it?"

Todoroki dug his fingers into her wrists. "Shut up."

"Kyomu made you believe that you wanted to kill your father – that you needed to do it in order to be happy or free or whatever else he promised you'd feel." Uraraka took a deep breath as Todoroki's face began to change. The pain stayed, but it started to soften, the rage fading like a distant memory. She was distantly aware of the fight around them – explosions streaking across the sky, engine bursts, buildings rattling, the ground quaking, and shouts she could only vaguely make out – but she forced herself to focus only on him. "But it wasn't. You don't feel any of that. Everything he told you was a lie. You're not relieved. You're not happy. It isn't what you wanted."

"You're wrong," Todoroki snarled. "You don't know that. He helped me– He helped me understand. He helped me see–" He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, as if trying to rid himself of any conflicting thoughts. Desires. Memories. "I hid so much from myself. I blocked things out. I had to in order to survive – when I was too weak, too set in his ways, when I was too afraid to fight back–"

"You were _never_ afraid to fight back," Uraraka interrupted firmly. "This isn't you. This isn't what you wanted. You are so strong, Shouto. You know this isn't right."

"You said it was okay!" Todoroki screamed. "You told me I didn't have to keep fighting! I was hurt and scared and you said– You said it was okay to be selfish – that I could let go. You said it was okay, so stop it! Just stop it!"

Uraraka froze and stared up at him. In all the time that she had known him, she had seen him get emotional and lose that steel impassiveness he was known for known, but he had never screamed like this at her. The words were ripped out of his mouth, his voice raw and thick with emotion. He sounded more than upset; he sounded afraid. As ice began to creep over her wrist and down her arm, fear threatened to take her over as well. Maybe he was starting to snap out of it, but he was losing control in the process.

Before he could unintentionally hurt her any further, Uraraka jerked her left hand up and over her chest to grab his wrist. She lifted her left leg to press her shin against his chest and pushed against him as she twisted in his grip, breaking herself free and shoving herself away from him. So lost in his head, Todoroki barely fought against her. He didn't even reach out to grab her again, allowing her to scramble to her feet. The ice was too thick on her wrist to break it without hurting herself, but the cold stung bitterly even through her support gear and costume.

Todoroki stayed on his knees on the ground, his head hung and one hand pressed against the ground with the cuffed hand covering his eyes. His mouth was twisted into a pained grimace as he struggled to get himself together again. A part of her wanted to wrap her arms around him, pull him close, let him know that he wasn't alone. She stayed put. He could snap right back under the complete influence of Kyomu's quirk the second she touched him. After dealing with Deku, she was afraid she'd only make things worse since he clearly used memories of her to manipulate Todoroki too.

 _Goddamn you, Kyomu,_ Uraraka thought, a vicious streak burning through her. _I'll kill you. I swear I'll kill you for what you did to them._

Swallowing, Uraraka prompted, "Shouto?" He didn't respond. She pushed forward anyway. "Shouto, listen to me: it's okay. I'm here. I'm not going to leave you. I...I didn't want to before, but Deku made me let him go and I couldn't…" Tears pricked her eyes. "I failed you."

"What?" Todoroki dropped his hand from his eyes and raised his head to stare blankly at her.

"I failed you," Uraraka repeated, the words catching in her throat as it constricted. "I promised I wouldn't let the quirk you and I didn't. I promised that I'd be there for you and I wasn't." There wasn't a single emotion on his face. It was utterly empty, as if he wasn't capable of it. Maybe that was what the quirk did. It put so much in his head to accomplish a goal and, once it was done, everything just faded away to leave a void in its wake. "I promised I would keep you from doing anything you would regret and look at us. Look around us! I was supposed to protect you from yourself and I didn't do it!"

Todoroki didn't move. "Why would you…?"

"You asked me to kill you if it came to this," Uraraka cried. "Deku probably would've asked the same of Bakugou or you had we been around for him." She wiped away the tears from her eyes, angry with herself for allowing them to come. Now was not the time. (But when would it be? When they were all dead and gone and she was the only one left alive? When she was dying without saving anyone?) "I couldn't do it. I can't now. I'm too weak. I'm sorry, Shouto. I'm so sorry. You needed someone stronger than me. If it had been Bakugou in my place, he would have been able to do something, but I…"

"That's not–" Todoroki pulled himself up to his feet. "That's not right." He furrowed his brow. "You told me– Izuku even said you wouldn't want me to be in pain. Kyomu said– He told me you asked him to help me. Both you and Izuku knew how much I'd been hurt, betrayed, and manipulated my entire life and you just wanted me to be free. You didn't want me to have to fight him anymore. I was hurt and you wanted more for me."

"Not like this!" Uraraka exclaimed, gesturing around them. "Do you think I'd want you to become a murderer?"

"My father deserved it!" Todoroki snapped. "He tortured his family for years and for what? So he could be the best hero? So he could be the father of the best hero? What kind of monster does that?"

"He did deserve to be punished – you're right." Uraraka couldn't argue with him. She knew Endeavor wasn't the same man he had been years ago. He wasn't the controlling, cold-hearted father he had been when Todoroki had started at UA. He hadn't been the terror Todoroki remembered growing up. He would never be perfect and he would never be able to completely make up for what he'd done to his wife and children, but he wasn't the man that Kyomu had forced him to see now. "But what about the people in his agency?"

"They weren't innocent," Todoroki shot back coldly. "Any one of his sidekicks could see that something was wrong with his family and they didn't do shit." It was difficult to believe him that so many heroes would turn a blind eye to the uncomfortable feeling that something bad was going on. How could they have truly known? Maybe they thought Endeavor was a harsh father, but not anywhere to the extent he was. After all, he was the number two hero. How could he be? "You know, he used to bring Touya here, back when he was being trained. And one day he stopped coming and I did – and then he was never brought up or mentioned again. Not one so-called hero asked a single question."

Uraraka closed her eyes briefly to let out a shaky breath. When she opened them again, Todoroki was still gazing at her with that dead look in his eyes. Like he was gone. Like there was nothing left in him. He'd got exactly what he wanted, but instead of being filled with relief and joy, he had nothing to take his fury's place.

"What about the civilians?" Uraraka asked. "What did they do to become collateral?"

"Kyomu said sacrifices had to be made–"

"I don't give a shit about what he said or thinks!" Uraraka cut in. "What do you think? What did they do to deserve this, Shouto?" He didn't answer her. How could he? There wasn't a good enough answer. Kyomu had jammed enough into his head to make him think things made sense, but once he was forced to confront the truth, things weren't stacking up. "Do you really think I'd be okay with you doing this? Any of this?"

Todoroki blinked. "I…"

"I would rather die – I would rather be killed – than be complicit in this," Uraraka told him harshly. "I didn't say those things. I wanted you to keep fighting. I wanted you to hold out until I could rescue you. I know it hurt – what Kyomu did to you, what your father did to you, what losing Deku did to you – but I would never – _ever_ – tell you to give in to something that would twist you into your worst nightmare."

"No." Todoroki backed away from her, stumbling and struggling to keep his face blank as a multitude of painful emotions fought for dominance within him. "No, no, you told me– Izuku said– Touya, my brother, Dabi, you have no idea what he went through – because of me. Because I was the perfect one. I was the masterpiece. I ruined his life even more by simply being born." Ice shot out behind him when he took another step back. If not for his left wrist being cuffed, fire would've exploded from him too. "I had to get rid of Endeavor. I had to– You said it would help me live again–"

"I wouldn't tell you that and you know it," Uraraka said sadly.

All she could do was watch him shatter, try to clumsily piece himself back together, and shatter again. Ice formed behind him in waves, getting stronger with each go. He tugged on the handcuff and began to tug on it violently, crying out in anger when it wouldn't come off. He so desperately wanted to explode, but he couldn't completely, not with half of him being refrained.

She saw the moment right before he finally burst apart. Knowing she wouldn't be able to get enough distance between them in time, she dropped down and touched a broken van door, lifting it up in front of her as a shield. Ice exploded everywhere, freezing the air, but she held onto the makeshift shield tightly as hell froze over around her and shoved her feet and knees through the dirt.

After it stopped, Uraraka didn't even have to drop the shield or deactivate her quirk. The shield was stuck in the ice that had struck it. She had to crawl out of a hole in the ice in order to get back into the open. When she did, she found Todoroki still standing but swaying on his feet, his skin patchy with ice from overuse. She wanted to run to him and catch him before he fell, but she didn't dare get closer to him in case he exploded again. She couldn't see his eyes, his hair covering his face as he hung his head.

"Shouto?"

Explosions sounded to their left, right, all around them. It sounded like a war was going on, but here they were, encased in their little bubble away from the world due to Todoroki's ice. With two large ice structures, the street was completely overtaken. It was almost quiet, even though they were in the middle of a battlefield. Pieces of ice broke off and crashed to the ground.

Her thoughts drifted to Bakugou for a moment. Iida had said he'd seen him and Shinsou facing off with Deku. It would be impossible to miss yet another massive glacier from Todoroki. What did he think about it – or did he even have time to think about it? She hadn't seen him since she jumped off the roof. She didn't even know if he was alive. He didn't know if she was alive. They could only trust that the other survived. He might not even be around to see this–

 _Don't think like that. He's alive. He's going to save Deku. He, Iida, and Shinsou are gonna bring him back. And if not…_

Uraraka watched Todoroki carefully as he ran his left hand through his hair and tilted his head to the sky. His eyes were closed as he panted heavily, but there was something loose about his body that she hadn't noticed before. It wasn't emptiness so much as...a release.

She'd save Deku too.

As Todoroki's breathing slowed, Uraraka eased her way toward him. She couldn't be for sure if he had broken out of the quirk's hold, but if he wasn't, she needed to be close in order to fully cuff him. He'd overused the ice half of his quirk without being able to use his fire half to regulate it, so he was no doubt severely weakened, but he hadn't made it into the top ten by only relying on his quirk. She had to be wary of him either way.

When she reached out to grab the wrist being cuffed, Todoroki snatched her hand lightning fast. She tensed, preparing to fight back before he could use his quirk on her, and opened her mouth to yell, "Let–" but he slapped his other hand over her mouth to silence her. Despite her body screaming at her to kick away from him, she froze on the spot. He wasn't even using his quirk. Slowly, looking her directly in the eyes, he let go of her wrist and lifted a finger to his lips, telling her to be quiet, and her eyes widened.

"Don't scream," he told her in a voice little more than a mumble. It sounded like him. There was a light in his eyes, dim but there, and a sadness he couldn't shake. His face wasn't contorted into something painful. He wasn't holding her down, only keeping her quiet, his palm cool against her lips but also delicate. "It's me."

Once he decided she believed him (and she wasn't sure she did), Todoroki dropped his hand from her mouth and took a step back, giving her space. That felt more like him. He always seemed to be aware of the space between him and other people. He looked at her now, regret and shame molding onto his face until finally he darted his eyes from her, unable to face her any longer. She reached out to him again, but he held his hand up to stop her.

"It's still– His quirk is still in there. I can almost feel it." He took a shuddering breath. "But nothing was adding up. Things didn't make sense. And I knew you were right. I was wrong – about everything. It's hard to– understand. It's like watching a movie on two screens side-by-side, but a few things are different."

"Shouto, I'm so sorry," Uraraka said.

Todoroki swallowed and replied in a thick voice, "Yeah, me too." He turned his eyes in the direction of the blue flames where his brother and father were on the street. "Dabi went under the quirk too. I think–" He choked briefly and then cleared his throat. "I think he was actually getting better in prison. I don't know. Kyomu made things weird. I'm not sure if all the memories I have of Touya are real, exaggerated, or I blocked them out. I honestly might have. But I-I feel responsible. Whatever his reasons, he did save me – and he tried to keep me from being the one who–"

Uraraka touched his arm. He flinched, but didn't pull away from her. "You need to get out of here."

"No, no way." Todoroki shook his head. "I started this. I caused this. Don't argue with me, Ochako." She closed her mouth and glared at him. "We're going to need everything we can throw at Izuku – and that includes a broken down hero like me. I was only under it for a few weeks. Izuki is lost. This will kill him. I can't let them do that." He held out his left wrist. "Take it off."

Despite wanting to believe this was truly him, she eyed him warily. It was hard to tell. Even he had admitted he was partially still under the quirk's effects. Could she trust him?

"How can I be sure this isn't a trick?" Uraraka asked.

Todoroki simply shrugged. "You can't, but I've never been one for tricks. That's more of Izuku's style. He's the clever one." He wasn't wrong. Deku had broken into her apartment. He'd found Kaminari and lured them to their doom. Tricked Kota into coming to the park. Todoroki just...blew up like a bomb. "You saw the attack: it was head-on, stubborn, all I had in one go. It was my idea. The others might say it was to cause as much damage as possible to get Endeavor's attention and distract the other heroes and first responders, but honestly, I was just laughing out because I was mad at him."

"It wasn't–"

"It was." Todoroki breathed and repeated softly, "It was. It was me. That's the really messed up thing about it. I'd never wanted anything more than my life. I still feel like that in a way, but I know it isn't real, not when the feeling is just so...fucking hollow." He straightened up, standing stronger in front of her despite looking like all he wanted to do was pass out. "I won't let Izuku feel like that. I won't let him feel this nothingness. I can't let him kill Bakugou. He'll break and that's dangerous for all of us." He settled a measured gaze on her. "You need to take it off. He'll know I'm not on his side if he sees it, but I have to get close to contain him and we need these to control his quirk."

"This isn't a good idea," Uraraka told him as she took hold of his wrist. "What if you fall back under the quirk?"

"I won't. I'd need to go back under it to strengthen it again and Kyomu does not come to the fights."

Uraraka chewed on her bottom lip. It was already so raw and chapped that it bled a little. "The moment he realizes you've betrayed him…"

"Yeah, I'll probably be dead to him and lose my best friend all over again." Todoroki sighed and watched her unlock the handcuff. The moment it clicked and popped open, her heart skipped a beat, but all he did was rub the skin. "He can't hate me any worse than he does Bakugou."

That did not give her any relief.

"What about Dabi?" Uraraka asked. She could see the hesitation in his shoulders. Every time a noise came from that direction, he would turn slightly that way, only to pull himself back.

Todoroki hardened his expression and said, "I'll have to deal with those consequences later."

Some things were too late to resolve. Others… They could only hope.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes:** Remember when I thought this scene was going to be in the last chapter? lmao me. I'm a dumbass. I'm sorry for any typos. I've literally been working on this for like 5 hours and then like 2 hours yesterday and I just want to chill and watch Sesame Street and then The Dragon Prince with my daughter. I'll go back and look through this either tonight or tomorrow. Holy fuck, I can't believe I wrote this much action. It's HARD. Four fucking chapters of action. I thought I was crazy for doing like 8k. RIP me. Hopefully, this is good. I've been really nervous about this chapter and I don't know if it came out well, but I've been lowkey terrified of fucking up and failing everyone. Bless you, anxiety. Let me enjoy this.

* * *

"I kinda miss the days when he couldn't control his power!" Shinsou said from above. He had barely managed to avoid being smashed by a car Deku had thrown in his direction. Wrapping the end of his binding cloth around a fire escape, he had pulled himself up and out of the way at the last second. With one gloved hand holding onto the railing and his boots against the brick wall, he hung ready to jump again. "You know, when he did half the work for us by breaking his bones? Yeah, I miss that."

Bakugou almost didn't recognize Shinsou's own voice. Since the fight started in earnest, he had been using his support gear to create a near-perfect intimation of Bakugou's voice. It was uncanny and very unsettling, especially since he said some pretty awful shit, but Bakugou got used to it. Unfortunately, he had to admit that Shinsou did a damn good impression of him.

Deku was certainly pissed the fuck off.

"C'mon, you're faster than that, aren't you?" Bakugou called out. "Or are you just back to being shitty Deku?" A disgusted sneer crossed his face. This was a familiar expression to Deku probably. Bakugou had made this look a lot during their time at UA. Sneering and scowling had been his default reactions. "You're not worthy of being a One for All holder! It should've been me! I could've done some real shit with it!"

Furious red lightning crackled around Deku. Energy radiated from him in waves, so strong that it blew debris around him. He hadn't even moved yet. Bakugou could tell he wanted to yell back so bad, but Deku kept his mouth shut. He couldn't afford to be careless and allow himself to get caught up in Shinsou's brainwashing quirk, no matter how enraged he was.

Shinsou winced. "Oof, that one landed."

Deku kicked off hard enough to cause an explosion of wind behind him. Instead of aiming at the ground to dodge, Bakugou blew up the debris where he was running. Smoke and dirt exploded in the air, creating a cloud for him to briefly float in. As he came back down, he shot off a shit ton of small but powerful and precise AP Shots. Even if he couldn't Deku, the barrage of shots in the dust cloud would hit a large area and also make it difficult for him to figure out where Bakugou was exactly. Using the special move in the air knocked him back a few meters and he landed skidding.

Before he could go for another attack, the dust cloud began to swirl and was sucked together to form a tight tornado. Deku's shooter style was always so creative and hard to counter. Using just his speed and power, he could now seemingly control the air around him. Even after digging his heels into the dirt, Bakugou found himself being pulled forward. Shinsou was forced to grab onto the railing with both hands to keep from being pulled off. If his binding cloth got caught up in that, he'd get sucked in. There was a chance it would wrap around Deku and subdue him; there was also a chance it would get Shinsou seriously fucked up and cause him to lose his support weapon.

When Shinsou's toes started to scrape against the brick and lift off, Bakugou grabbed onto a still standing stop sign and pulled his legs up so that he was crouched parallel to the ground with his boots on the metal pole.. He didn't need his feet to be on the ground to create an explosion. In fact, it was the perfect conditions for him: a Deku-made Howitzer. He'd done half the work for him creating that whirlwind of air.

Shinsou must've caught on to what he was planning on doing because he shouted, "Are you crazy?"

"Maybe!" Bakugou yelled back over the roar of the wind. He had to be a little crazy (and maybe a little stubborn and stupid) to think he could fight against One for All anywhere near a hundred percent. He could only hope that his insane quirk held him at bay since it had seemed to be sentient in some ways.

He kicked off the pole, stretching out one hand and holding his wrist with the other as he tensed his muscles. As soon as he hit the tornado, he let out of a massive explosion. The fire of his explosion sucked up all of the oxygen created by the whirlwind, becoming ten times stronger. It raced down to the ground where it exploded like a bomb dropping from the sky. The explosion was enough to blow him back, but he was used to flying with his quirk and become accustomed to odd angles in the air even more thanks to Uraraka's quirk.

More importantly, it was a direct hit.

Smoke was left in the wake of the explosion. Deku was crouched with one knee and hand on the ground holding him up. His outfit was singed and burned in patches over his arms, which he must've used to shield himself from the worst of the explosion. There wasn't nearly as much damage on his costume as Bakugou had expected, but it must have been fireproof, but flame retardant clothes could only withstand so much, especially when faced with an intense explosion like that.

Still, Bakugou was stunned that Deku hadn't been blown halfway to hell being in the center of that bomb. How the fuck was he partially standing? He might've been on a knee and maybe trembling a little, but he wasn't down. Light zipped around his body. Had he been able to shield himself somehow at the last second? There were so many ways he could use his quirk that Bakugou would never know. It made him feel like an ant.

"Thanks for the opening, Deku!" Shinsou called out again in Bakugou's voice. "You're even shittier at being a villain than you were a hero. You can't even take me one-on-one." He scoffed, somehow sounding exactly like him even when not talking, Shit, Shinsou had really got his mannerisms down. It was almost scary. "C'mon, I thought you were All Might's successor. Is that all you've got?"

Bakugou tensed up from his position on the ground. His arm didn't ache as much as it could have, if only because he had used the funnel to strengthen his explosion, but Shinsou's words didn't sit right with him. It had to be done. He hadn't been exaggerating when he had told Shinsou to do whatever was necessary: anything to provoke Deku into answering and getting sucked under the control of his brainwash had to be said.

And All Might was apparently one of Deku's more confusing triggers according to Uraraka's testimony. That was to be expected. He always had been – for both of them.

It felt wrong to use him and the knowledge of One for All against him. Such a closely guarded secret now tossed out into the open, at least for the authorities and top heroes to know. Bakugou hadn't liked it. This was a gift that had been passed down through multiple generations, only known by few. However, with Deku on the other side, All Might's hand had been forced. He had to explain what they were up against. Leaving the heroes in the dark when they were risking their lives to fight and save Deku would've only hindered them.

The truth was tragic. Deku's power was the stock of nine people's dreams to save the world and he had been twisted to use that power to destroy those dreams, including his own. A dark part of Bakugou hoped that Deku was completely gone. At least then he wouldn't be in agony over the things he'd done. If it had been him in his place, Bakugou would've never forgiven himself. He didn't know how Deku would or if he even stood a chance.

"Shit," Shinsou muttered upon dropping behind him. "I think I saw Uraraka and Todoroki fighting or something. The ice on the building down the street–"

As much as his heart skipped a traitorous beat upon Shinsou mentioning Uraraka, Bakugou immediately squashed his concern. She could handle Todoroki. (She could. She would. At least she was alive. Todoroki wouldn't kill her. He wouldn't.) There was no time for distractions and he didn't even bother responding. He couldn't lose focus of Deku for one second.

While Deku attempted to recover from the Howitzer, Bakugou aimed at him again and pulled the pin from his left grenade brace. He'd been saving them for a moment when he had a direct hit. After fighting against him for what felt like hours with Shinsou, he had enough sweat stored in there to, well, take out a building. The explosion that radiated from his palm reached at least two stories in height, so strong the force shoved him back into Shinsou who had dropped down behind him.

It would hit him. It had to fucking hit him.

Deku jumped to his feet fast, but he didn't dodge the explosion like he would when they were younger. Instead, he spun around on one foot and kicked in a downward arc with the other. He didn't need to be close for the kick to do damage. The force created a gust of wind that sliced through the explosion in half so that the fire went on both sides of him, like a river with two paths. He followed through, spinning and jumping to kick with his other foot. Barely able to follow the movements, the second gust of air struck both Bakugou and Shinsou head on.

Bakugou hit the ground hard, rolling and skidding through the gravel. He used his explosions to slow himself down, but Deku's fist grazed his face in a wild punch. If it had hit him directly, he probably would've died, but the graze was still enough to throw him into a brick wall. Much needed air was knocked out of his lungs, leaving him breathless and gasping desperately when he dropped to his knees.

"Hurts, doesn't it?" Deku said as he advanced on him. "I still remember all the times you knocked me around hard enough to knock the air out of my lungs. All the times I could breathe and you'd just laugh and call me weak." He grabbed Bakugou by a handful of his hair and jerked him up painfully, forcing him onto his knees. "How does it feel to be on the opposite end?"

"Like shit," Bakugou wheezed out. Deku blinked slowly, an unimpressed expression on his face. "What? You expect me to say it feels like karma?"

"No, Kacchan," Deku sighed, not in disappointed. It was acceptance. "I would never expect you to apologize. You're not capable of it."

"Don't do it, Deku!" Uraraka's voice cried out. Deku flinched again, but he didn't fall for it this time. The binding cloth shot at him, but he snatched it instead with his free hand, wrapping it around his wrist and holding onto it tightly as an anchor. Shinsou's face hardened as he clenched his jaw underneath his half-mask. He gripped the cloth, lifting it slightly, perhaps preparing to either abandon it for now. Bakugou didn't know. He'd seen Aizawa and Shinsou both use it for years and he still couldn't wrap his head around the intuitive cloth.

Deku shook his head and glared heatedly at Shinsou as if to say, _Don't you dare use her voice to trick me._

Any means necessary. Shinsou used to hate playing dirty, especially when it came to his quirk, but it was clear that he'd abandoned such morals in this fight with Deku.

Instead of getting rid of the cloth, he snapped the other end, which had been lying on the ground. It wrapped around Deku's ankle and Shinsou pulled on that hard, having used the first attack as a bluff and to force his attention up. Right as Deku toppled sideways and let go of Bakugou's hair to catch himself, a loud whining sound filled the air. A blur of white and blue flashed in his vision before he realized a leg had kicked down on Deku's chest, the sound now recognizable as an engine.

Iida. It was fucking Iida.

Bakugou had barely managed to take a breath, but he shot an explosion off that served as an attack and means to get away from Deku. A close up fight would work to Deku's advantage and he couldn't allow that. Deku kicked up into a handstand and pushed off the ground with his hands to escape the brunt of the explosion, only to have to use his hands to fend off another kick from Iida. He blocked two, missed one that connected with his side, and ducked to dodge another before swiping a foot under Iida's ankles. With Iida distracted, he jumped to grab onto the wire of magically still hanging street light and swing out of the way. He landed on top of a car and paused to catch his breath while holding his side.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Bakugou demanded, forcing the words out as he struggled to breathe. Fuck, getting hit with that wind, fist, and a wall had really done a number on him. How many ribs had he broken? Hopefully only one and hopefully Deku felt the same pain after Iida's surprise attack. He hadn't been able to prepare himself for that at all. "We've got this!"

"Do you?" Iida countered.

"Go help Uraraka!" Bakugou shouted. "She's dealing with Todoroki on her own!"

"She told me to help you two," Iida shot back.

Bakugou bit his tongue. He'd argue to the ends of the earth with Iida, but if Uraraka had sent him here, then it must have been for a good reason. Maybe she'd cracked the hold of that quirk on Todoroki. Maybe she knew the truth - that Bakugou, no matter how strong and determined he was, could only do so much against the true power of One for All. He might've been able to beat Deku back in high school, but he hadn't been capable of going one hundred percent back then either.

" _I swear to be Number One."_

What a sick fucking joke.

Before he could tell Iida what to do, a gunshot echoed in the air. The sound was so different from everything else around them that the crack stood out. So used to fighting with and against quirks, guns always took him out of the moment. It was like being smacked with reality. Even Deku reacted abruptly, standing upright and jerking his head in its direction. Bakugou followed his gaze. The blue and red fires that had raged in the corner of his eyes during their entire fight were doused. No fire, no ice, no explosions.

What the hell happened over there?

"Shouto," Deku murmured thoughtfully. "Huh."

From his high position on the car roof, he could look down the street over the rubble. Bakugou grit his teeth. What did that mean? What did Deku see? He was tempted to launch himself in their air to catch a glimpse, but it would be a waste of energy and time.

With Deku distracted, Bakugou propelled himself forward to attack, but Deku snapped back in the moment like he'd never left it. He sliced through the air with a kick, cutting through the explosion again with a burst of air, but this time, Bakugou didn't let up. Instead of one powerful explosion, he shot off a barrage of smaller, more precise explosions, forcing Deku to bend down to shield himself. He couldn't break through such a relentless attack with a single kick or punch.

Instead, he jumped forward, spinning his body like a bullet through the air, meeting Bakugou head-on in the air and grabbing the front of his costume. Bakugou used his quirk to twist their bodies so that he was on top and then threw his hand back to let off a massive explosion that hurtled them both to the ground. Deku let go of him and swung his leg sideways in a half circle to kick Bakugou in the side. He flew into a brick wall and his chest exploded with pain from the already broken ribs. Deku crashed on top of a car, severely denting it and immobilizing him for a moment.

Considering the struggle it took Deku to crawl out of the wreckage, the pain was worth it.

"You don't have to do this, Midoriya!" Iida called out. "This isn't what Uraraka would want! She wouldn't want to see you hurt or hurting your friends!"

Deku pressed a hand to the side of his head where blood was seeping out from a wound and shook it, like he was ridding himself of something. It reminded Bakugou of their first confrontation on his apartment building's roof when he had pointed out the bruises on Uraraka's wrists. He'd almost lost it then, like his real memories were coming through and fighting with him for dominance. He had to get rid of them. Anything conflicting made it difficult for him to concentrate.

It also made him more likely to unintentionally activate his quirk. He was the last person they needed to lose control of themselves, aside from Todoroki, which was possible as well. None of them knew what would happen if they were able to break through Kyomu's quirk. They didn't know if those affected would snap back to normal or just snap.

"I know this is hard," Iida said in a more soothing but still fervent tone, "but we're here for you now. You're not alone. You won't have to be alone ever again."

Deku stilled, his face half-covered. Bakugou narrowed his eyes and pressed a hand against the wall, preparing to dodge a surprise, speed attack.

"Midoriya?" Iida prompted cautiously.

His attack on Deku from behind was sudden, a powerful, engine-fueled dropkick that Deku dodged by rolling sideways off the car and landing in a crouch on the street. He struck the car instead, scrap metal and the tires blown into the sky from the strength of his kick. Bakugou gawked, caught off guard by the attack, considering that Iida had been calling from his left.

Ah, it was another trick by Shinsou. Somehow, it looked like it reached him more than everything else. Maybe Iida was the key to getting him respond, not Bakugou. Hadn't he said that Iida was a true hero?

Deku used the speed of his quirk to zip away from Iida and skidded to a halt when he was at a safe distance. His mask hid the bottom half of his mask so they couldn't see if he was scowling, but his eyes glared over the top, giving enough of the picture. He made a few sharp and aggressive gestures with his hands. Bakugou didn't know what the hell he was doing, but they looked rude as hell.

"What the fuck is that?" Bakugou snapped. Was it some kind of move that charged up his quirk?

Shinsou scoffed. "He said I wasn't playing fair and called me a rude jackass." He responded in kind with a series of hand gestures of his own, matching Deku's aggression. "That doesn't mean what I said isn't true, Midoriya!"

Light flashed around Deku. In the blink of an eye, he was right in front of Shinsou, who only had time to blink in surprise before Deku snatched him by his binding cloth and threw him hard. No longer the same weakling he was back when he was in General Studies, he still wasn't strong enough to fight back on a physical level with Deku. He wrapped the end of the binding cloth around a lamppost to catch himself, but his momentum forced the post to snap in half and he crashed through the window of Endeavor's agency.

"Shinsou!" Bakugou shouted. There wasn't a response or he didn't see any movement through the broken window. After taking a hit like that, he wouldn't be surprised if Shinsou was out cold. "Shit! If he's unconscious, he's fucked. He can't stay in there, Iida. That building is gonna–"

A red-gloved hand appeared in his vision and Bakugou staggered back and let off an unexpected explosion. Startled, the explosion was a lot stronger than usual. The combination of that and his unsteady footing shot him back into the air. Before he could correct himself, Deku was on him again, swinging down with a powered kick. He barely had time to throw up his arms to block his face. Deku's kick landed right on grenade brace, shattering it into pieces. Bakugou cried out as the pain ran all the way his arm, but was cut off mid-shout when he crashed into the ground. He could practically feel his bones rattling.

Deku wasn't even at one-hundred percent. The only reasons his arm wasn't completely wrecked were because he used the grenade brace as a shield and Deku was still holding back some.

Why?

"I thought you wanted to kill me, Deku," Bakugou wheezed as he pushed himself up.

"I do," Deku insisted, pulling down his mask. He strode over to him sluggishly.

Bakugou scowled. "Then what's the hold-up?"

Before he could get up all the way, Deku pressed a foot against his chest and shoved him down. The back of Bakugou's head slammed on the street, his vision blurring for a moment. He struggled to breathe and Deku stepped on him further, like he was trying to push him through the asphalt. When his vision cleared up again, he found Deku leaning over him and watching him with a cold, critical eye, so unlike the passionate, analytical gaze that he was used to seeing on Deku's face.

"I want to enjoy this," Deku told him, "like the way you enjoyed torturing me."

 _I didn't,_ Bakugou swore in his mind. Saying it out loud would be worthless.

"You can't," he ground out instead.

Deku narrowed his eyes. "Why not?"

"Because that's not you."

A strange look flickered across Deku's face, almost like he was confused. Bakugou wasn't good at this. He couldn't talk him down, not like Uraraka, not even like Iida or Todoroki. He wasn't them. He wasn't good like they were. Everything about him rubbed Deku the wrong way right now. It didn't matter what he said: Deku would either hate it or not believe it because it came from him, the one person who hurt him the most. He'd dug his own grave. Trying to crawl out of it was a struggle when Deku kept throwing more dirt on him.

"You're better than me," Bakugou continued. "You're stronger. I knew it then and it pissed me off. It scared me. How could someone quirkless and weak like you be better than me?"

Even though he had looked ready to kill him moments ago, Deku didn't move now, eyes locked on him and brow furrowed. It hurt a little to talk, especially with Deku still holding him down with his foot, but it stung even more to admit this truth to him. While it had been embarrassing and even shameful to talk about it with Uraraka, who hadn't known the full history between them, he was disgusted and angry with himself now. He should've talked with Deku about this a long time ago, but he wouldn't. He couldn't.

He had been a coward. Once again, Deku had been the stronger person. He easily could've turned people against him by talking about their past, but he hadn't. He'd never held his behavior against him. Maybe he should have. Maybe, if someone had held him accountable for his actions, they wouldn't be here fighting each other and Deku would still be a hero.

"I knew… I knew that if you tried, even for a moment, everyone would like you so much more than me," Bakugou continued. "They'd follow you. So I made sure that everyone thought you were as worthless. I made sure everyone was on my side and against you. Because I knew you were better and, if given the chance, they'd know it too." He swallowed the lump in his throat. Was this guilt? Acceptance? He didn't know. All he knew was that he couldn't stop, not now. Deku deserved this. "And they did. They fucking did. You got into UA and you had a quirk and I could see everything shifting right before my eyes. All my stupid ass insecurities were coming true as more and more people flocked to you – trusted you, believed in you, liked you. It drove me mad."

It was like a switch had flipped in Deku the moment he got into UA. He hadn't changed overnight and he still had a bad habit of bursting into tears, but he was undoubtedly different. It wasn't just the quirk either. At first, Bakugou had believed that was why he was so pissed off. Deku had been hiding a quirk the whole time? Why? Did he think he was too strong for Bakugou to handle? He spent months trying to convince himself that was the reason Deku's existence pissed him off, only to be confused as more and more people flocked to him.

Yeah, he had close friends, but even his friends enjoyed being around Deku and trusted him too. He was magnetic. Everyone turned to him at one point. Everyone trusted his judgment. Everyone cheered for his improvement and his wins. God, his fucking wins. It made Bakugou want to tear his hair out. Every time he saw Deku win and get stronger, he wanted to explode. He was always one step ahead of him and he couldn't keep up anymore no matter how much he improved himself.

But nothing – absolutely fucking nothing – was worse and more maddening than seeing Deku like this. It wasn't fucking right. He'd thought Deku having a quirk and being stronger was wrong, but no, this was true hell. He couldn't take seeing him like this. It was a nightmare. It was sick. It was painful in every way. He was a goddamn hero. He had been chosen to carry One for All after All Might.

(It should've been Bakugou. He should've been playing the role of the monster in this story, not Deku. He had acted the part plenty as a kid, hadn't he? In a way, he was doing that part, at least on Deku's side.)

"By the time we graduated, I knew you were going to be a better hero than me," Bakugou finished. He ignored the jittery feeling that crawled over his skin whenever he opened up. He had to say it. Deku had to hear it from him, just once. "That's why I know you won't feel better if you do kill me. It's not in you to be cruel like that – to be cruel out of fear and anger like me. Kyomu couldn't do that to you."

Deku clenched his fists at his sides. "He set me _free_ –"

"Then why the fuck are you still holding back?" Bakugou retorted. "Face it: you're unsure. You're scared. What if you do kill me and it's nothing like you expected?"

"Shut up!" Deku snapped.

Bakugou did no such thing. "What if you kill me and you don't feel anything, huh?" he demanded, relentless in his badgering even as Deku pushed down on him further. "Because this isn't what you want. It's a hollow wish that someone else planted in your head. You can get fulfillment out of a desire that isn't real."

Deku smacked the side of his head. "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

"I'll shut up when you fucking listen–"

He didn't get to finish the statement, not when another massive wall of ice burst into view. The ground shook as the ice erupted in the air. Unlike the controlled manner in which Todoroki usually used his ice, like the glacier he'd created to spear Endeavor's agency, the ice went everywhere. It was haywire. Despite being far down the street, the ice even reached them and Deku had to jump in order to avoid getting hit. Bakugou didn't even have time to get up, forced to use smaller explosions to propel himself off the ground to dodge the ice.

Somewhere, Todoroki had fucking lost his shit. And, according to Iida, Uraraka was with him.

An alarmed expression crossed Deku's face – bright eyes wide, eyebrows raised, and mouth slightly parted – but before he could question what was going on with his delusional partner in crime, binding cloth wrapped around him. His arms snapped against his sides, the cloth capturing him in a tight hold. Instead of Shinsou at the other end of the cloth, Iida held onto it. Shinsou was slumped against a car behind him, grimacing as he held onto his left shoulder where his arm hung limply. Unable to pull on it himself, he must have captured Deku with the cloth and then passed it off to Iida.

Deku started to activate his quirk, but Iida was faster. His engines burned with fierce energy as he started to run in a circle. The cloth jerked Deku right off his feet before he could gain traction and break free with his quirk. Iida didn't relent, somehow kicking it into an even higher gear so that he became little more than a white and blue blur. No doubt Deku was disoriented. Even Bakugou struggled to watch, although that was probably a side effect of getting knocked around so much.

Skidding at least ten feet to a halt, Iida used his built up momentum to pull the cloth over his shoulders and slam Deku hard into the ground. At the same time, Deku activated his quirk to protect himself and the asphalt cracked under the strength of both the attack and defensive maneuvers, like a heavy weight had struck it.

Just when Bakugou thought they might've knocked him out, red streaks of light crackled from the hole in the street like some sort of hellish glow. Shinsou yelled, "Let go of the cloth!" right before there was an explosion that blew Iida off his feet. Despite being made of an incredibly strong material, bits and pieces of the binding clothed littered the area and floated through the air. Of course, it hadn't stood a chance against One for All.

Bakugou and Shinsou watched in horror as Deku crawled out of the hole, rolling his right arm in a circle as he rubbed his shoulder, that unearthly red light still crackling around him. Without the cloth, Shinsou was at an extreme disadvantage. No doubt he knew how to fight without it – one couldn't be a half-baked hero, especially not with Aizawa as a teacher – but fighting with Deku at this level was ridiculous. They were both injured and Iida hadn't returned from wherever he'd landed.

Even though his left arm throbbed painfully, Bakugou readied himself to fight, smoke rising from his palms as he prepared to create a series of more concentrated explosions. He needed to be more precise. He thought he might still be a better fighter than Deku, but unfortunately for everyone, Deku had learned how to take a beating and keep ticking early on. The little prick that he was, Bakugou had made sure he learned that lesson well.

"Ah, Izuku, are you struggling this badly?" a bored voice greeted from behind. "I honestly thought you'd be done by now."

A cold chill crawled up Bakugou's spine. He slowly turned his head around until his eyes landed on Todoroki. A dead look rested in Todoroki's mismatched gaze as he looked at Deku, his face completely empty, making it impossible to read what he was feeling. He stood utterly relaxed to the point of being limp, his head tilted questioningly, right hand on his hip and his left loose at his side. In a way, he reminded Bakugou of a puppet just dangling unused on its strings.

A sheepish grimace flashed across Deku's face. "Maybe I'm not as strong as you."

Todoroki glanced at Bakugou briefly, contempt flashing in his eyes before it vanished, and returned his gaze to his best friend. "Maybe. Do you need help?"

"Did you finish what you came here to do?" Izuku asked.

Despite his lack of any sort of emotional response, tension filled the air. Todoroki did absolutely nothing for a moment, considering his next words or maybe weighing how much he wanted to say in front of them. They all knew what he had come here to do. The lack of red and orange flames down the street and Todoroki's presence here told a terrible story, but Bakugou wouldn't believe Todoroki was capable of it. He couldn't. Fucked up, hurt, and betrayed as he had been by both his own father and Kyomu, he wouldn't have killed his old man. He'd snap out of it first. If not, Uraraka would have stopped him.

(Where was she? If she had been with Todoroki before… Where the fuck was she?)

And then Todoroki let out a breath and responded in a flat tone with a simple, "I did," and Bakugou's heart plummeted into the pit of his stomach.

They'd failed him. Bakugou still couldn't save Deku and Todoroki had fallen completely victim to the quirk. Even if he did snap out of it, he would never forgive himself for this horrible moment of weakness.

Endeavor was dead. There was no way around that. Todoroki wouldn't be here and he wouldn't have said that if he hadn't done it. Once again, the number one hero was gone.

By now, it was like an old record being played in Bakugou's mind. He had failed. He had lost someone – this time in more ways than just death. Endeavor had first taken the number one spot after All Might was forced to vacate it and retire. He had stepped back into it once more after Deku's death, a particularly cruel joke by the universe in Bakugou's opinion. Todoroki had mentioned the jump in rank bothering his father, almost causing him to go unranked, but he hadn't. The public had been shaken by the loss of Deku, someone that reminded them so much of All Might in his prime. They'd needed a reason to rally, if not smile, after his passing.

These days, most people probably wished Deku had stayed dead. Bakugou honestly didn't know how he felt. As of now, he could barely manage to pull himself together to keep fighting, even though he knew he had no choice.

So unlike the horror that wormed its way through Bakugou, a truly pleased smile split across Deku's face, lighting him up. "I'm so happy for you, Shouto!"

Todoroki didn't say anything in response. He merely nodded his head, looking more displaced from the moment than ever before. It was like he wasn't even here, like he was a ghost of his old self. Bakugou couldn't move. He could barely breathe. What the fuck was he supposed to do against both of them? Especially when Todoroki looked so damn _off_. What the hell was going on with him?

"Oi, where the hell is Uraraka?" Bakugou demanded.

There wasn't a single emotion in Todoroki's eyes when he considered Bakugou this time. "I took care of her."

Bakugou rounded on him sharply. "What the fuck does that mean?" He clenched his hands into fists and took one thunderous step toward him. "I swear to god, Todoroki, if you hurt her…"

Todoroki rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't hurt her. I'm not like you."

"Tch," Bakugou scoffed, but he didn't argue. No, Todoroki wouldn't hurt her, not if he and Deku were best buddies again. Hurting her would mean getting on Deku's bad side and, from what Uraraka had said of her time with the villains, that wasn't an option. Deku wouldn't hesitate to hurt anyone, not even the assholes supposedly on his side, if they tried to hurt Uraraka in any way. How fucked up had it been to watch him beat a villain to death? It was one thing to say it. Bakugou had gotten into plenty of bloody fights with villains since the USJ Incident in his first year.

But he'd never killed any of them with his bare hands or beat them into an unrecognizable pulp.

"She's safe," was all Todoroki said. It was pretty shit as far as explanations go, but at least he knew she was alive. Where and how, he was desperate to know, but Todoroki hadn't been that great about explaining things before. He was probably even worse as a partially brainwashed villain. Who knew how his mind was working? Bakugou couldn't get a read on him. Unlike the rage in him when they'd fought earlier, there was nothing now.

Deku sighed in relief. "Good, good. I've been distracted this whole time worrying about her." He stood up straight and ran his fingers through his hair. "Now I can focus."

"Oh, _now_ he can focus," Shinsou drawled dryly, pressing his good hand against the car to push himself upright. "He was just playing with us before."

Clearly more injured than he'd originally let on, Shinsou cringed, but then pulled his hand away to form a fist. He already had a pale complexion, but looked closer to sickly pale now. Shit, he was in worse shape than Bakugou had realized. He couldn't fight like this, but without the binding cloth, he didn't stand much of a chance at escaping either. Deku and Todoroki would kill him. He wasn't one of the names on their list, but he had said some awful shit and played a few underhanded tricks that Deku hadn't liked one bit. This Deku was a lot more spiteful than the old one. He was much more likely to attack someone or turn violent simply out of unchecked rage.

As expected, Todoroki outright ignored Shinsou, not even deigning to acknowledge him. To be honest, Bakugou wasn't even sure Todoroki had seen or heard him, so totally focused on Deku in this moment. It was like there was no one else in the world but him. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Deku asked, sounding hurt about his desires being questioned. It was a strange question, considering all that he had done so far, but maybe Todoroki knew something he didn't. After all, unlike Deku, he'd accomplished the dream that Kyomu had planted in his mind. Maybe that was why he was acting so empty now.

"I just want to make sure this is what you want," Todoroki replied without hesitation. Sharp, crisp, completely unaffected. This was just another day for him. It meant nothing. He stepped forward, walking closer to him perhaps so they could fight side-by-side. "There's no going back once you do this."

"I know." Deku's voice was somehow both soft and filled with determination, but when he swung his gaze back to Bakugou, there was a fire in them that almost made Bakugou take a step back. He didn't. He stood his ground and glared back at him.

 _Fucking do it already,_ Bakugou snarled in his mind, unable to get the words out of his mouth. Explosions peppered the air around his hands. Fire flickered at Todoroki's fingertips even as he puffed out a breath of cold, foggy air. Red lines of energy ribboned over Deku's exposed skin.

"I'm ready to end this," Deku declared.

"As am I," Todoroki sighed, right before he swept his right hand up and shot a thick, concentrated block of ice in Deku's direction.

Considering that Deku had been so intensely focused on Bakugou, it was only thanks to One for All that he able to leap up and dodge the attack. He punched the ice with a powered up fist to keep it from encasing him, reminiscent of his and Todoroki's fight in their first Sports Festival. Todoroki gave him no time to express his shock over the abrupt betrayal before he shot off a column of fire and another wall of ice at the same time. The two powerful and simultaneous attacks caused an explosion that blinded everyone and shattered the ice. It created a shockwave so strong that it ruptured building and car windows. Bakugou had to duck low to the ground and create explosions with his bad arm to keep himself from being knocked off his feet. He held his remaining grenade bracer to shield himself from the falling ice particles, the chunks ranging from the size of a pea to a softball.

Deku panted heavily from his spot on the ground, his fingers digging into the broken concrete of a sidewalk and his body trembling from taking the hit indirectly. "What are you doing, Shouto? I thought we were a team! We were in this together!"

"I'm saving you from yourself," Todoroki said firmly. "Like Ochako saved me."

"So everything you said was a lie?"

"No." Todoroki calmly stepped forward. Sadly. "It was the truth. I killed my father."

Actual tears welled in Deku's eyes. "So you get what you want but not me?"

"I didn't want it," Todoroki insisted. "I thought I did and, when I got the chance, I took it. I did it. I got rid of him. I ended the nightmare." He raised a shaky hand to cover the scar on his face. "But I was wrong, Izuku. The nightmare didn't end. It just started. Ochako woke me up, but it was too late and I…" He took a deep breath and pulled his hand away. "I can't let you do this. I won't let you destroy yourself."

"You're wrong." Deku shook his head. "You're just confused."

"I'm not," Todoroki said.

A wounded expression cast a shadow over Deku's face. "Shouto, _please_. I don't want to do this without you. I just got you back. I need you on my side."

The pleading tone in Deku's voice made Bakugou's insides twist. It made him think of when they had been kids and all Deku had wanted Bakugou to do was stop hurting him. _Kacchan, please._ Why hadn't he stopped then? Why had those words only made him angrier? Like Deku was acting pathetic on purpose to make him look bad? Why had he thought hurting Deku would make him stronger?

Weak. He felt weak. Todoroki had been beaten into becoming a hero his entire childhood and then he had been twisted and tortured into becoming a villain. And yet here he was, still fucking fighting to save Deku and do what was right, even if it meant sacrificing himself. Bakugou had expected rage over Todoroki's betrayal, but honestly, the pain in Deku's eyes made it so much worse. Todoroki's hands trembled, like he could barely stand it, but he didn't look away either.

 _This is for the best,_ his eyes said as he clenched his jaw.

"I did tell you that I wasn't going to be a part of this once I finished what I set out to do," Todoroki said.

"You promised to be here for me!" Deku yelled. "That you would help me when I faltered!"

"You're faltering for a reason!" Todoroki retorted. "This isn't real! This isn't what you want! You do this and you're never going to come back from this. You can't. You're a better person than all of us." He held out his hands, trying to calm them. "Don't you see? I am here for you. I am helping you. Listen to me, Izuku. I got what I thought I wanted – I killed my father – and now there's just this...hole of nothing. I'm empty. I'm done. I feel like I could die and I would just...fade away. That's what Kyomu's quirk does to you. It will leave you with _nothing_."

Deku pressed his hands over his ears and squeezed his eyes shut. "You're wrong!"

"It's so easy to dream about this moment until it's here and you're in it," Todoroki continued. "That's why you keep hesitating. That's why you keep holding yourself back until someone can intervene. Deep down, you know it's wrong. You know it's not what you want."

"No, no." Deku shook his head. "Kacchan took Ochako–"

"Don't you dare use her as an excuse," Todoroki interrupted coldly. "She's more important than that. That is just an idea planted in your head by a villain using you for his own means. He is _using_ you, Deku, just like he used me – just like he used my brother and probably everyone else. All he cares about is the power he can wield through others. You're just the strongest of us all. He doesn't give a shit about you."

"He does," Deku insisted. "He helped me. He saved me. He showed me the truth."

"He showed us what we needed to see in order to become a tool," Todoroki said coldly. "And we fell for it."

"Shut up!" Deku shakily got back to his feet. "You don't know what you're talking about!"

Todoroki stiffened. "I don't? I was under his quirk too. Maybe not as long as you, but I know what I saw and what I felt. I can still feel it, like it'll never go away, just scratching at the back of my mind."

They were both spiraling – Deku panicking and pain creeping more and more into Todoroki's voice as he spoke - but Bakugou couldn't look away or intervene. He was afraid his voice would snap Deku back into the quirk's complete hold. Todoroki had to break through to Deku on his own. Only he knew what Deku had gone through in the eleven months he was missing and with the villains.

"It's not like that…"

"Our memories didn't have to be twisted that much. I know that. What you went through alone for all those years isn't right. It's not fair. I wish I could've been there for you back then." Todoroki dropped his shoulders. How different things would have been had he been there. Deku would've had actual friends instead of everyone isolating him. Why had he done that? "But some of what he did show us wasn't real. He made it so much worse. I know that and a part of me still wants to go back to him so I can reassure myself that killing my father was the right decision. That's not help, Deku. That's a clutch."

Tugging at his hair, Deku pressed in on himself, like everything might spill out of him if he let go or relaxed for even a second. Who the fuck knew what would happen if he did that? If he went at a hundred percent, he could take down an entire building in one go - and that was if he was controlling his quirk. If he lost control…?

They had to get everyone out of the blast radius, just in case. Bakugou looked around, hoping to catch sight of Iida so he could get Shinsou out of here, but he was still missing. Wait. He looked back to the car where Shinsou had been preparing for a fist fight before Todoroki's attack, but there was no one there. Where the fuck was he? Had he managed to run off?

"Kacchan was a monster!"

Bakugou flinched, his eyes snapping back to Deku.

"And so was my father!" Todoroki snapped. "The fact that you were kids doesn't excuse his behavior, but think about how safe you felt whenever you came home. Think about your mother and how she held you close and tended to all your wounds."

She had done that, hadn't she? All the times Bakugou had hit Deku just to show that he was stronger – when he insulted Deku to the point of tears – Deku would go home to his mother, who was weighed down by the guilt that she had somehow failed her son when he turned out quirkless.

Deku slowly opened his eyes. He stared at the ground, but his mind was clearly elsewhere. "My mom."

"At least you had her," Todoroki said, his voice cracking. "My father ruined my family. He tore us apart. My mother turned on me and had to be institutionalized. I barely knew siblings to the point where it felt like I didn't have any. Hell, my oldest brother faked his death and became a villain! But I got my revenge. I killed him. I won. I dethroned the number one hero. And I hate it. I want to take it back and I can't, Izuku. I can't. He did all of that and I still want him back. He could never make up for what he did and he never tried to, but he got better and he became a better person for us and Kyomu took that away from me. Even worse, he made _me_ destroy everything. I don't want you to feel like this too. It's not worth it. Bakugou isn't worth it. You have to let him go or you'll regret it."

Silence settled over them like dust. None of them moved or spoke. Their argument had allowed Bakugou enough time to recover somewhat – he was energized and ready to fight again – or at least that was what he told himself. He ignored the pain shooting up his arm when he flexed his fingers. By some miracle, it wasn't broken (not seriously, in any case), so he could still fight with it. He could still do his job.

"I'm sorry, Shouto," Deku said as he stared hollowly at the ground. He dragged his eyes up to Todoroki, who looked back at him with a measured gaze. "But I _am_ stronger than you. I never should've doubted that."

Instead of attacking head-on, Deku shot up, which meant that he was able to preemptively dodge Todoroki and Bakugou's combined fire attacks. He kicked off the side of a building and landed behind Todoroki, who didn't have enough time to create a thick enough wall of ice to protect himself. Deku's kick went right through it and connected with his chest, knocking him back and into a patch of ice he created to stop himself. Still, ice wasn't much better than a brick wall or a metal car.

Bakugou created a large explosion with his good hand, which Deku defended himself against using a kick to deflect it. When that failed, he aimed an AP Shot at a car next to Deku, striking the tank and causing scrap metal to slice through the air when it exploded, but he activated his quirk to dodge insanely fast. He was too fucking quick and was on him in a flash. Bakugou threw up his other hand to defend himself, but when he went to create an explosion, his muscles tensed up and only one half as strong as normal came out. He snatched his wrist and pulled it back against himself, gritting in pain even as he fell back.

They connected eyes for only a second as Deku reared his fist back, his entire body glowing with far more power than ever before since this whole mess had started. There was no forgiveness in his eyes. No light. Nothing at all. There would be no talking it out this time. This was it. He was done.

They were both done.

"Midoriya!"

Bakugou wasn't sure what happened. One second he was screaming mentally at his quirk to fucking do something, even if it meant breaking his arm in the process of creating the smallest of explosions, staring Deku in the eyes, and knowing he was going to die after failing Deku as he had his entire life.

The next he was shoved sideways by a powerful push and someone shrieked like they were being murdered down the street. He hit the pavement and rolled on the ground, that scream still echoing around him, until he came to a halt by crashed into a mailbox. He could barely breathe, but he was alive. Deku had missed. Had someone pushed him out of the way? Todoroki? Maybe with his ice?

Bakugou wheezed as he pulled himself up, his mind spinning and his vision going in and out, but he shook his head to force himself to stay with it. No, there wasn't any ice where he had prepared himself to die a second ago. There was just Deku, standing there and staring straight ahead in shock with his arm still extended in a punch.

Despite his better judgment warning him against it, Bakugou followed Deku's gaze down a line torn through the street until it landed on the crumpled figure of Iida, who was lying prone in destroyed car folded almost in half.

Uraraka running into sight almost made Bakugou's knees go out. Somewhere along the line, she had lost her helmet. She was scraped up, bruised, and burned with patches of her costume torn, but she was alive. She collapsed to her knees in front of Iida, her hand hovering over him in fear of moving him. Tears streamed down her face, creating streaks through the dirt on her red cheeks. She touched him and pried him from the wreckage as gently as she could before resting him on the ground, leaning over him, and deactivating her quirk.

"Iida? Iida! Can you hear me?" Uraraka pulled his helmet off and threw it to the side. "Tenya, please, oh god. It's going to okay. You're going to-" She started to cry in earnest, her loud screaming sobs echoing down the street somehow louder than everything else going on. The world could've been ending in this very moment and Bakugou would have only been able to hear those cries. "What did you do, Deku? _What did you do_?"

"I-I didn't mean–" Starting with his fist, Deku's entire body began to shake. "It was supposed to be Kacchan. I was trying to hit Kacchan, not Iida. I didn't mean to hit him. I didn't want– I didn't want to hurt him. Kyomu said I might have to, but I thought I could avoid it. I thou-thought I could circumvent it. I knew it would upset you, Ochako, so I didn't– I only wanted to kill Kacchan."

Uraraka ignored him completely. "I have to get him out of here. I got Shinsou to safety, but Iida insisted that he couldn't leave. He couldn't leave Deku. I-I have to–" She sputtered and wiped the tears out of her eyes. "You can't do this to me! You can't leave me too!"

"I didn't mean to, Ochako, I didn't mean to!" Deku cried out frantically. He started to hyperventilate and held his head again, light crackling around him. "It was an accident! You have to believe me! I wouldn't– I couldn't hurt him on purpose. I didn't want to." He took a step forward. "Ochako, please–"

"Stay away!" Uraraka screamed, holding Iida protectively. She threw a glare at Deku so vicious that he came to an abrupt halt as if she'd frozen him entirely. "Stay away from us!"

"Ochako…" Deku looked around wildly, as if someone would believe him and tell him it was okay. Instead, Todoroki refused to meet his gaze and dragged himself over to Iida and Uraraka. When his eyes landed on Bakugou, he was startled to find Deku crying, even looking at him like he was asking for forgiveness. "It wasn't supposed to be Iida."

All Bakugou could do was stare back at him in shock. Uraraka leaned over Iida as tears spilled out of her eyes and onto his chest. With his costume on and her huddling over him, it was hard to tell if he was breathing or not. Either way, he was unconscious. And after taking a direct hit like that from Deku without defending himself in any way…

An ugly, furious look swept over Deku, his entire demeanor changing as he activated One for All again. "It was supposed to be you!"

Bakugou prepared to turn himself into essentially a bomb, his palms glowing brightly, when a crack overhead interrupted them. They all looked up, even Uraraka, and caught sight of the glacier piercing the building beginning to slide. It must've finally melted too much to sustain the weight of the building. Chunks of ice and concrete crashed to the ground around them.

"Time's up, Deku!" someone shouted. "The agency is done for!"

"I don't care!" Deku yelled.

Another voice that sounded like Kurogiri declared, "Reinforcements have arrived! We must leave now!"

Before Bakugou could look for the source of the voice or Deku could argue further, a portal opened up underneath his feet and swallowed him whole. Uraraka screamed his name. He reappeared down the street, startled and uncertain of his footing with Kurogiri holding him by his shoulder to steady him. Mr. Compress was dragging a barely standing and literally smoking Dabi with another villain's help. The shadow villain from outside of Kaminari's apartment. Bakugou hadn't even realized that slippery bastard was here too.

Todoroki jumped to his feet. "I have to–"

"You can't," Uraraka weakly cried, grabbing the sleeve of Dabi's jacket to stop him. "They know you're not under the quirk anymore."

A pained expression crossed Todoroki's face as he held out his left hand. "Dabi–"

Strangely, the villain Todoroki was so worried about lifted a hand as well. He raised his head just enough so that his eyes could be seen through his sweaty hair matted over his forehead and blood streaked down his face. Bright blue, just like Bakugou remembered, even when he was near death. And then he waved a hand, almost like a goodbye, before the villains retreated into a portal. Todoroki grit his teeth and clenched his hand into a fist, but he didn't go after them.

However, Bakugou couldn't question what the hell had happened when the top of the building shifted above. "It's going to collapse!"

Reluctantly, Uraraka let go of Iida and pulled herself to her feet. "Can you still use your quirk to fly? My jets are shot." When she matched gazes with Bakugou, he witnessed a powerful storm of emotions in her eyes. The first and foremost was grief, but there was a determination in them as well. A scary amount, the crazy kind that said she didn't care what happened as long as she got the job done. It did not sit well with him.

"Yes," Bakugou replied carefully. He flexed his hands. He could do it.

"Okay." Uraraka turned to Todoroki. "Can you make another glacier?"

"It won't be nearly as big," Todoroki admitted. "I'm at my limit. Fighting against that quirk on top of using mine so extremely wore me down even with these protective braces."

"That's fine. We just need something." Uraraka took a deep breath and bent down to activate her quirk on Iida and make him weightless. "Get him out of here." He swallowed and nodded. It didn't matter if Iida was alive or dead. He would do it. "Now throw me up."

A whistle of alarm blared in Bakugou's head and he ran to her, the clock ticking down in his head the moment he realized what she planned to do. "Uraraka, you can't–"

"Now!" Uraraka ordered.

"Don't!" Bakugou yelled right as Todoroki took her by the waist and threw her weightless body into the air. "No!"

Todoroki snatched Bakugou by the arm to keep him from going after her and bringing her back down. "Let her do her job!"

"She can't handle that much after this!" Bakugou jerked out of his grip.

"Let her do her job to save us," Todoroki repeated firmly, "and then do yours to save her."

His words rang in Bakugou's head as he helplessly watched Uraraka fly to the top of the building as it started to fall over. It slowly crashed into the building next to agency, threatening to take it down with it. The second she touched it with her hands, the top of the agency slowed its descent. Luckily it had built up very little momentum and had still been in the process of sliding, so it didn't keep falling. Instead it hung in the air, as if still partially clinging to the rest of the building by a thread.

No, Uraraka was holding it up with her very being.

Todoroki held onto Iida. "Go get her. I'll be back." He didn't wait for Bakugou to respond before he took off to get Iida somewhere safer.

Bakugou shot into the air, ignoring the twinge of pain in his arms. He made it to her fast, but not fast enough to settle his mind. She was curled in a ball, knees against chest and her hands over her mouth. Her face was sheet white and sweat beaded down her face as she pushed herself past her limit. With her eyes screwed shut in concentration, she didn't even seem to realize he had reached her side. He grabbed her arm to pull her onto his back and she whimpered as she wrapped her arms around him.

"I've got you."

When Bakugou used the last bit of his strength to create an explosion strong enough to launch them out of the building's shadow. Something wet dripped down his shoulder. At first he thought she'd puked on him from overdoing her quirk, but then a red shimmer caught his eyes and he realized blood was seeping out of her nose. He tried to use a small explosion to soften his landing near a group of heroes, but his arm muscles spasmed again and his boots slammed into the ground, forcing him to his knees and nearly dropping her.

"Where's Todoroki?" Bakugou panted. A battered-looking Hawks, missing his signature glasses and most of his feathers, plucked Uraraka from his shoulders and inclined his head back where they'd come from. "Is he fucking mad-?"

Bakugou turned his head to witness Todoroki create one last blast of ice. He was right: it wasn't nearly as big or strong as his last two glaciers. Still, he refroze the first glacier in the process of creating a new one, covering part of the agency and the building next to it. With this, the ice was once again a strong enough structure to keep the building standing. The moment he finished, he collapsed to one knee and hand, his job complete.

And so was Uraraka's.

"Let it go," Bakugou told her.

Uraraka shakily pressed her fingers together and said, "Release." A gasp slipped out of her and she opened her eyes in shock the second the weight of her quirk left her. She tapped hurriedly on Hawks to set her down so she could drop to her knees and vomit repeatedly. Bakugou rubbed her back and watched Todoroki drag himself back to them, looking more like a zombie than a human.

"Shouto," Hawks said once he reached them.

"I know," Todoroki sighed.

His knees buckled. Bakugou just barely managed to stand up and catch him before he hit the ground, muttering, "Stupid bastard, just lean on me." He threw one of Todoroki's arm over his shoulders in an attempt to keep him standing. It hurt like hell, but the weight suddenly lessened when Uraraka slipped under his other side. Together, the two of them held him up and carried him to the others until finally they collapsed to their knees. They all struggled to breathe as their bodies ached from overuse and minds reeled from pain.

Hawks groaned and rubbed his face. "This is a disaster. I don't want to do this, but we don't have a choice for now."

Uraraka tightened her grip on Todoroki, pressing her tear-stained and bloody face into his chest. "No, you _can't_."

"It's okay," Todoroki said.

Bakugou's jaw tightened. "Like hell it is. Someone fucked with your head."

"I still killed a lot of people," Todoroki said in a flat tone. This time, Bakugou knew it wasn't the work of the quirk. He just didn't have the strength to manage anything else. "Look behind you. I did that."

Bakugou didn't want to look back. He didn't want to see the utter destruction and death that lay under the shadow of Endeavor's broken legacy. He only wanted to look ahead to a future where they had Todoroki back and had chipped the hold on Deku. The idea that they were now being told that Todoroki was going to be taken away from them again just pissed him off. He had been captured and put into a cell by villains where he was tortured only to be locked up and put away in another cell by heroes. The irony infuriated him.

"It's not right," Bakugou growled.

"Someone has to pay for-for the losses we suffered today," Todoroki said, his voice cracking in the middle. He hung his head, his hair hiding the shame in his eyes. "Iida…"

"Ingenium and Echo were taken by the first round of paramedics," Hawks stated. It was hard to feel hope over the statement when he averted his gaze.

Todoroki swallowed. When he started to pull away from them, Uraraka held onto him. Even Bakugou felt the urge to tighten his grip, pull him back, shake some sense into him. This wasn't right. It wasn't Todoroki's fault. He didn't know much about the quirk, but from what Uraraka had witnessed and the little Todoroki had said to Deku, it fucked a person up down to their core. If a quirk was strong enough to turn someone as heroic as Deku, then there was no way Todoroki had stood a chance. Fuck, even he would've fallen to it most likely or died trying to fight it.

They just got Todoroki back, but at what cost?

"You have to let go," Todoroki told them.

"I'm so fucking tired of people telling me to do that," Uraraka muttered furiously against his chest.

Todoroki dropped his cheek on the top of her head. "I'm a weight. Deku realized it too. Don't let us drag you down under with us."

"Dumbass," Bakugou grumbled, even as he did what Todoroki had said and let go of it. "We're here to hold you up. We aren't giving up on you now."

"You're so stubborn," Todoroki sighed, even as he smiled faintly. It didn't reach his exhausted eyes. With his free arm now that Bakugou had sat down away from him, he pulled out a pair of quirk inhibitor braces from his belt. "I had them for Deku when we contained him." He handed them over to Hawks. "They're good enough for me."

Uraraka finally pulled herself away from him and wiped her face with her arm. "This isn't fair."

Todoroki flinched when the cuffs were placed on him and Uraraka turned her face away to hide her tears. "This is nicer than being injected with a drug at least." He closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. "Although being knocked out would be nice right now. That would be letting me off too easy, I suppose."

No, fuck that. None of them had got out of this easy, not even Deku. The look of pure terror and anxiety on Deku's face when he realized what he'd done flashed in Bakugou's mind. In that moment, it was like he had figured out that Todoroki was right and it frightened him. If he was right, then everything he had done to get here was wrong, including allowing Todoroki to go under Kyomu's quirk. What did that make him then? What did that make Bakugou when he was supposed to be the bad guy in his story?

 _I'm the hero you knew I could be,_ Bakugou thought, _even when I wasn't._

Bakugou leaned over and hid his face in his hot hands. It certainly didn't feel like it right now.


	36. Chapter 36

Notes: Stuff happened IRL that legit had me lost and I thought I posted this already. Thanks everyone for still reading and being patient! The good news is that the next chapter is already written.

* * *

Bakugou was getting real sick and tired of hospitals. It felt like he was starting to live here and he hated it with every fiber of his being. As a hero, he was fairly used to doctors. He didn't get hurt like crazy often, but there had been times when he'd been forced to see someone for a work-related injury. He couldn't always stitch up his own wounds or patch any burns. Somehow, he hadn't broken a bone until Deku had decided to fuck his arm up outside of Kaminari's apartment. Seeing as how Recovery Girl had been called in once again to deal with it, he was beginning to think it was becoming a trend.

It made twisted sense. How many times had Deku broken his arms during their first year just figuring out his One for All? Now he was breaking Bakugou's arms repeatedly.

"You need to rest," Recovery Girl insisted, doing what little she could to hold him down.

It turned out she didn't need to do much. Even as he tried to push against her and clamber out of the hospital bed, her healing quirk drained him even further. He'd already been severely weakened after the fight with Deku. There was no way he would've been able to use his quirk even without Recovery Girl's wearing him down so he could heal once more. After those last little explosions to get Uraraka to safety, his arms had been screaming in pain from quirk overuse Holding onto Todoroki had made him see black spots in his vision. It wasn't until after Todoroki was cuffed and he sat down that he realized his left arm was broken.

Still, Bakugou struggled against her, even with his left arm in a cast, and gruffly muttered, "Don't have time. Need to see Uraraka."

"Uravity is resting," Recovery Girl told him, "like you should be now." With that knowledge, Bakugou allowed her to push him back and he sunk down into the bed. She let out a huff and rubbed her temple. "She wasn't nearly as injured as most people. She got lucky. It appears as if she didn't take too hard of hits unlike some people. Another shattered arm, three broken ribs, and countless other injuries. I won't be able to heal your arm until tomorrow evening. At least you didn't mess up your face like last time."

"Wasn't my intention to get so fucked up, believe me," Bakugou mumbled as he struggled to keep his eyes open. They kept fluttering shut and then he'd pry them open to stare at the ceiling. Even as he felt himself fading and his arms and chest begged for relief, the last bit of adrenaline and determination from the fight clung to his heart. He wished he was in the same room as Uraraka. He didn't know why they'd separated them. Maybe because he had worse injuries. He was pretty sure had heard Recovery Girl swear under her breath when she stepped into the room and saw the condition he was in.

Also, was it him or did she look tired for once? How much did her quirk take out of her? How much had she been forced to use it? The amount of injuries from the attack had to be staggering, but she couldn't use her quirk on everyone that had been hurt, just the most serious cases.

Purple hair and dark shadows popped into Bakugou's fading mind. "Shinsou…" Deku had thrown him through that window. He'd managed to get out, but he hadn't looked so hot the last time Bakugou had seen him.

"Recovering as well," Recovery Girl informed now. "Get some rest, please, even if it's just a few hours. Your body needs it in order for my quirk to do its job fully."

Uraraka's cries echoed in his head, someone shouting Deku's name, and an awful crunching sound that he wouldn't be able to forget even if he tried. "Iida…" His vision faded for a moment before he shook himself awake again. "What about…?"

But his world went dark before he could finish the question, his body's exhaustion and need to recover winning out over his stubbornness.

* * *

Uraraka didn't sleep for long. She couldn't. Nightmares about Iida lying limp in her arms, Deku's scared eyes, and the raw pain in Todoroki's voice woke her up before she could fully rest. It didn't matter how tired she was. There was no way she could go back to sleep with those memories on her mind. At first, she'd thought it was maybe just a dream, but then she tried to move and her whole body ached in protest. She flopped back down in bed and stared up at the white ceiling, counting down the seconds until her heart eased into a slower beat.

Wearing hospital clothes, Uraraka shared a room with a handful of other women, some heroes and others civilians. The hospital was dealing with a severe crowding issue onto of not having anywhere near enough staff for everyone. Anyone with minor injuries was being quickly discharged while some patients were being transferred to different hospitals.

It was slow going. No one had anticipated such a catastrophe today. Todoroki's first attack on Endeavor's agency had been devastating not only because it incapacitated the heroes within seconds, but because it had also maximized the collateral damage. Any incoming heroes had to priorities either fighting, rescue, or, like her, a mixture of both. Either way, the hospital had been utter chaos since they had been brought in. She wasn't injured too bad, which meant she could forgo Recovery Girl's treatment, but both Bakugou and Todoroki had barely been standing.

Bakugou had been hiding it well after getting her out of harm's way and helping carry Todoroki back to the group, but then he'd all but collapsed and nearly passed out on them. He hated admitting when he felt weak or was injured, but it was impossible to miss. Every time his arm muscles spasmed for blatant overuse of his quirk, he would flinch and grit his teeth like he wanted to scream in pain. He didn't, but it was close. By the time they reached the hospital, he tongue was bleeding from how much he'd been biting it to stay silent.

On the other hand, Todoroki didn't have as many injuries as Bakugou. Like her, he had been able to refrain from most of the physical fighting and hadn't taken the brunt of Deku's quirk in their battle. Instead, the extreme overuse of his quirk had done him in almost entirely. He wouldn't have been able to fight against Hawks placing the quirk inhibitor braces on him if he'd wanted. He'd drifted in and out on the ride to the hospital, his head lolling against hers and Bakugou's shoulders. The last she'd seen him, when he was being taken away, he had fallen unconscious entirely.

Where had they taken him? Was he still in the hospital, lying unconscious or coming to, chained to a bed without access to his quirk? She could only imagine how terrifying it would be for him to wake up like that. He'd probably panic and think he was still with the villains.

Except they had set him free in a way while the heroes were the ones locking him up now.

Uraraka clenched the sheets of the hospital bed so tired that she felt close to ripping them to shreds. It wasn't right. Yes, he had done those things (he had killed his father), but it hadn't been him. Kyomu had warped his mind and memories. His father had hurt him. Deku had thought he was helping. Hell, even Dabi had kept him from getting killed. Todoroki probably wished he hadn't. It would've been better to be dead than used like that, at least in his opinion. He had asked her to kill him if it came to it and he gave in.

 _I'm sorry I couldn't save you, Shouto._

Tears built up in her eyes, but she wiped them away with the back of her hand before they could fall down her cheeks. Where was Bakugou? Even in a room with other survivors, she didn't want to be alone. She knew it was her emotions talking, but having him by her side right now would've helped her tremendously. Upon their arrival, he'd been taken elsewhere in the hospital because of the extent of his injuries, shuttled off to where Recovery Girl was dealing with the worst cases. Shinsou and Iida had been taken there most likely as well.

 _Iida._

Had he even been breathing when she'd held him last? He had to be alive. There was no way he could be dead. It was too much. She'd failed Todoroki, but losing Iida on top of Deku would crush her. If someone told her he was gone, she didn't know if she could get out of bed. Losing Deku had nearly broken her, but she'd picked up the pieces of her heart, taped it back together, and got to work. If she were to lose Iida after everything that had happened this past month…

She'd scream. She'd lose it. She had been holding everything together so tightly, but now it felt like things were crumbling all around and underneath her and she didn't have anything to hold onto anymore. Every second she continued to lie here in bed felt like a second closer to breaking. Somewhere in the room, the only sound that could be heard besides a few hospital monitors was a woman was crying. Everyone else was either asleep or too exhausted to make a noise.

Unable to sit still or take the soft crying any longer, Uraraka pushed through the pain in order to sit up. Most of her weakness came from overuse of her quirk. It had only been the top half of the building, but that had still been a massive amount of weight to essentially carry, not to mention using her quirk repeatedly to rescue people and during her struggle with Todoroki. Nausea still wracked her body, but all she had left to expel was water. Mostly she just felt terribly weak and sore, but she was otherwise fine.

Shoving the sheet off her, she swung her legs around the side of the bed. There weren't any slippers to be seen and she didn't know where the hospital staff had stored her costume, but she didn't care. The cool floor against her bare feet was a relief as she slowly stood up. Her legs wobbled for a moment, causing her to grip the railing at the foot of the bed, but then she steadied herself and sighed. It was a pain and she knew a nurse would get on her if they found her, but she carefully pulled out the IV in her wrist. Finally free, she shuffled to the door and then slipped out of the room.

The hallway was filled with a quiet sort of intensity. There weren't as many staff up here, but then most of them were probably stuck dealing with the more traumatic injuries. She managed to escape notice of a nurse at the desk down the hall, turning the other way to avoid being seen. As long as she stood up straight and made it seem like she knew where she was going, maybe no one would stop her.

If only she knew where the hell she was going.

She was tempted to go to another floor and ask questions, but she didn't know if the nurse would balk at her questions, turn her away, or report her. Probably not the last one. They had enough to deal with here than a stubborn pro hero refusing to stay in bed. She wasn't even that seriously hurt. All she wanted to know was where Bakugou had been taken. They might not answer her at all if she asked about Todoroki, if he was still here. There was a chance he'd been transported to a more secure facility already. She didn't know how long she had been out, but it was late at night. Who knew how much she had missed while unconscious?

After making her way down a few floors, Uraraka decided to test her luck and approached a nurse behind one of the main desks. "Hi, um, I was wondering if you could look up a patient for me?"

The nurse, an older man, peered up at her with tired eyes, taking in her clothes. "Are you supposed to be out of bed?" She pressed her lips together, unable to fake a smile at this point. He rubbed his temple. "Even if I did, there's a chance they might not be in the system yet. We haven't been able to put everyone's names in since some patients are being transferred."

"Please?" Uraraka asked. "I'm fairly certain he's here since he was taken to see Recovery Girl."

Sighing, apparently too tired to argue, the nurse rolled his chair over to the computer. "Name?"

"Bakugou Katsuki."

The nurse sat upright upon hearing the name. "Ah, Ground Zero - yeah, he's here. I saw him before he was treated. The kid looked rough." He typed in the name and did a quick search. "You're in luck. He's here, but there's a note in his chart that says he'll most likely be unconscious for the rest of the night."

"Yes, the effects of Recovery Girl's quirk," Uraraka replied dismissively. "I'm familiar with it." On a personal level, seeing as how she'd gone to UA. Her first time visiting the healing hero's office was because of Bakugou during their Sports Festival fight, after all. "I won't try to wake him. I just… I just want to make sure he's okay."

After eyeing her for a beat, the nurse leaned back in his chair and said, "Room 314."

"Thank you," Uraraka murmured.

"You did good out there, Uravity," the nurse told her before she could walk away. She hesitated. So he'd recognized her then. She wasn't used to that as much as Bakugou, Todoroki, or Momo. None of them had been nearly as popular as Deku, of course. "A lot of lives were saved because of what you did in that building and after. This place would be in even worse shape if not for you."

Her throat constricted, making it too difficult for her to respond, so she simply inclined her head in gratitude and headed in the direction of the elevators. Using the stairs would take way too much out of her. She was already struggling around aimlessly wandering around three floors. At this rate, she'd probably collapse in the nearest chair once she reached the room Bakugou had been placed in. Still, at least she knew where he was. She had planned on asking about Todoroki too, but had been too afraid of the answer. If he was gone…

She wasn't going to let go, no matter what he said. She wouldn't let him pull the same stunt as Deku. She refused to give up on him.

Once she reached Bakugou's room, Uraraka didn't hesitate to open the door and step inside. She was tired of hesitating, of second-guessing herself and wondering if she was wrong. She gone through so much...shit. She wasn't going to be ashamed of wanting a little comfort or reassurance, not anymore.

Like her, Bakugou wasn't alone in his room. Every bed was filled in the hospital and more. As soon as a patient could be discharged and a bed unoccupied, another person took their place. People with lesser injuries were being sent to clinics, opened up during their off hours for the emergency. It was insanity, but for a brief moment, at least on this floor, there was almost silence.

Labored breathing and monitors beeping echoed through the room. Uraraka tiptoed through the room, careful not to disturb anyone. Not that they would wake up anyway. From what she could tell, everyone was knocked out cold thanks to a combination of pain medication and use of Recovery Girl's quirk. Extreme injuries took a lot of energy to heal overnight.

When Uraraka peaked through a curtain in the back, her heart shot into her throat. Bakugou was lying in bed, completely out of it. His left arm was wrapped up in thick bandages and a cast up to his shoulder. Dark bruises covered his chest in splotches, but he didn't look like he was struggling to breathe. Recovery Girl must've healed his broken ribs first. She'd have to work on his arm later since he'd broken it once already this month - or rather, Deku had broken it both times. Bakugou looked exhausted even while sleeping, his face paler than normal, his usual spiky hair somewhat flat, and his body limp. She hadn't seen him look like this since…

Not since Deku died.

Uraraka grabbed a chair and pulled it over to his right side. Sitting down, she folded her arms on the bed and rested the side of her face in them, her head brushing against his side. She stared at his hand lying on his leg. His fingers twitched in his sleep. It could've also been strain from overuse of his quirk. He probably wouldn't have been able to produce an explosion without messing himself up further. A quirk was like a muscle; overusing it could have drastic consequences.

His hand was covered in scars, just like Deku's. The two of them used to lie in bed some mornings and hold their hands above them in the sunlight filtering through the blinds. She could trace his scars with her fingertips, some of them dating all the way back to their first year in high school. He'd hurt himself so much in the beginning before he had gained some semblance of control over his quirk. Even then, villains had targeted him and he couldn't help but throw himself into harm's way to save someone, consequences be damned.

Tears welled in her eyes, but she didn't cry, letting them build up until they became too much and slipping down the cheeks. She missed him so much. The last memory he had of her was her screaming at him to stay away from her and Iida. The heartbroken expression on his face threatened to overwhelm her, but she swallowed down the urge to cry. His eyes wide with fear, his face painted anguish - he had been truly devastated over what he'd accidentally done. Even the anger he'd expressed when turning on Bakugou after had sounded more like pain.

Did his genuine regret lessen the horror of what he'd done? No, it didn't.

Uraraka had slept for hours, but when she took Bakugou's hand and pressed her wet face into the blankets, she wanted to sleep an entire day away. She wanted to wake up and find out this had all been a nightmare. The issue was that she didn't even know where the nightmare had begun. When Deku had struck Iida? When Todoroki had attacked Endeavor's agency? When she had watched Kyomu torture Todoroki? When Deku had held Kaminari hostage? When Deku had shown up at her apartment? When he had died?

Wishing to go all the way back then meant erasing what Bakugou and Todoroki had both come to mean to her, but then she had Deku still. Maybe they would've been gotten closer anyways, like it was always meant to happen.

Her entire being hurt - heart, mind, body, and soul - but there was nothing she could do to fix it. She wanted Deku back, but for the first time, she was scared that he was too far gone. After what he'd done to Iida, even if he did start to break free from the quirk, would he want to come back? Would he feel like he deserved it? Or would he simply give in or give up? She couldn't imagine him doing the last one - Deku never gave up no matter what - but they were in uncharted waters now.

And they were all drowning.

When Bakugou came to again, his body was still sore, but he didn't feel nearly as bad or groggy as before. His left arm still throbbed painfully when he tried to move it, but his right hand didn't hurt when he flexed his fingers. As he did, they brushed against something soft and he opened his eyes. Looking over, he found Uraraka slumped against his the side of his bed, using her arms as pillows while she slept. How long had she been there? She must have been in pain too and sleeping like that was only going to make her feel worse. Stubborn woman.

Still…

Despite warning himself against it, warmth blossomed in his chest. He swore mentally, but that didn't stop himself from feeling it. Letting out a breath, he lifted his hand, hesitating only for a moment before he rested it on her head, his fingers sliding through her hair. She sighed in her sleep, stirring in the chair, only to nuzzle her face further into her arms to keep herself from waking. He didn't really want to wake her, not when she looked so peaceful, her mouth slightly parted and face relaxed. That would all fade away once she came to and had to face reality again.

Thoughts drifted into his mind, piece by piece, until he was wide awake. Iida had been unresponsive the last time he'd seen him. Todoroki was arrested. Shinsou looked like he might collapse at any second. Deku furious and devastated all at once. The top half of the agency frozen for a second time on a summer night. The destroyed blocks. Dabi was...Todoroki's brother?

Oh, and the Number One Hero was dead. Again. Killed by his own son, the Number Four Hero.

This was fucking great.

Bakugou's mind kept flashing back to the unsettled look on Deku's face when Kurogiri had warped him to their position. It was like he hadn't known what to do or think. He was lost. The only other time Bakugou could recall seeing that look on his face so far had been on his roof when he'd realized that he'd hurt Uraraka. It went against everything he believed in. That villain bastard's quirk could do a lot of damage, but it wasn't flawless. Hadn't Uraraka said that he'd been forced to put Iida and Asui out of Deku's mind or something like that? His memories and feelings for them weren't in Kyomu's favor to twist.

Deku hadn't wanted to kill Iida. Hurt him maybe, if he got in the way, but not kill him. Iida was a true hero in his eyes, a far cry from the kid who had been deemed unworthy by the Hero Killer Stain.

 _Don't think like that,_ Bakugou scolded himself. _You don't know his condition. Recovery Girl saved you, didn't she?_

"Bakugou?" Uraraka murmured.

He turned to look at her as she lifted her head from her arms and rubbed her bleary eyes. Her cheek was red from where she'd been resting it against her forearm and hair mussed like crazy. She looked bone-tired despite having been asleep. Not having been injured as badly as others, Recovery Girl hadn't tended to her, so she was still bruised, scraped, and red from a few minor burns. His heart still tried to jump into his constricted throat when they connected eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Bakugou demanded, his voice rough from sleep.

"Couldn't sleep," Uraraka mumbled as she sat up straight.

Bakugou huffed. "Sure looked like you were sleeping fine to me."

Next to me, he almost said. Good thing he'd woken up first so he didn't make a complete dumbass out of himself.

"After everything, I need to reassure myself you were okay," Uraraka told him. He tore his eyes from hers, unable to hold her steady gaze for much longer. She was too open. Maybe it was because she'd just woken up or maybe she had simply stopped hiding. He couldn't think about that right now, not when he was still feeling the effects of the pain medication and his body's exhausted attempts to keep up with Recovery Girl's healing quirk.

"I'm fine," Bakugou insisted. He ripped the blankets off, pulled out the IV needle, and clambered out of bed. "I'll be more fine when I get the fuck out of here."

Uraraka jumped to her feet. "You shouldn't get up. You're still really injured."

Bakugou gestured to the cast. "My arm's fucked, not my legs. I need some air."

Biting her lip, Uraraka considered his words and then nodded. She couldn't argue with that. Judging by the light coming in from the window, the sun hadn't risen long ago. Hadn't Recovery Girl said she was coming back some time in the evening? He struggled to remember, but his memories of his brief conversation with her after she had healed his ribs were foggy at best. He rummaged through a cabinet in the room for a cast before giving up. At least he found a pair of hospital slippers. Uraraka was walking around barefoot, although she didn't seem to notice.

After casting one last look around the room, taking note of the other individuals that had been dumped in here with him, Bakugou muttered, "Let's get out of here," and walked through the door. Uraraka followed behind him silently, although he could sense the storm in her mind. She probably would've preferred him to let her get a wheelchair, but he could walk just fine, even if he did have to go slower than his usual brisk, unforgiving pace. He'd put his body through the ringer multiple times this month and was suffering for it. Only in his early twenties and he was already starting to ache like some old, washed-up pro.

Pathetic.

"Have you heard anything about the others?" Bakugou asked as they walked through the busy hallways. He didn't know where he was going. Maybe they could go outside. Sunlight and the wind would do him some good and help clear his mind.

Uraraka bowed her head. "No, I haven't had the chance to ask. Almost as soon as I woke up, I went to find you."

She was avoiding it. He understood why, even if it wasn't in his nature. To be honest, he was wary to find out as well. So much shit had happened already. Losing another person would only add more weight to his shoulders because the loss would be for real. They wouldn't come back twisted as a villain. They'd just be gone. Nothing felt more like failure to a hero than not being able to save someone, but it was even more painful when they died saving you.

 _This is how Uraraka must have felt when Deku died._

The realization struck Bakugou like a bullet, nearly making him crash into a nurse brushing past him. Only Uraraka tugging out of the way by the back of his shirt saving him from bumping shoulders with her.

They continued to wander around the hospital until they found themselves in the lobby on the first floor. A few people had given them odd looks, but no one seemed to have the time to question them. If they were strong enough to walk around on their own, they didn't need help. There were far too many other people in need here to deal with them.

However, before they reached the revolving doors to step outside, Bakugou caught sight of a familiar group of people rushing to the door and hissed, "Shit."

Uraraka stepped up beside him to follow his gaze. "What-?" Her face dropped. "Oh no."

Perhaps the last three people on earth that he wanted to talk to besides Deku's mom again burst into the hospital. Todoroki's family - or at least what was left of it. Bakugou didn't move from his spot while Uraraka stepped forward to greet them. As soon as Todoroki's mother, Rei, caught sight of her, she turned in her direction while his sister raced to the front desk.

Rei clasped Uraraka's arms as if to keep herself from collapsing. "Is he-?"

"He's alive and he's back with us," Uraraka immediately reassured her, "but I don't know if he's here. I was out of it for most of the night after we were brought here."

The older woman's shoulders slumped. "We left as soon as we received the call notifying us." Her thin body trembled like a leaf in a thunderstorm, but Uraraka held onto her while Todoroki's brother, Natsuo, soothingly rubbed her back. "They didn't tell us his condition. I was afraid he was gravely injured or maybe still under the quirk's effects. I thought… I thought we might be too late."

Natsuo frowned. "They didn't tell us anything, only that he'd been brought here after the attack. We…" He glanced where his sister, Fuyumi, was outright arguing with the receptionist and then Rei. "We saw the news. The ice… The agency is really gone, isn't it? I thought about calling our father to see if maybe he would be able to get us in to see Shouto, but he's probably too busy dealing with everything. It's hard to be the Number One Hero without an agency, not to mention dealing with the press since Shouto was the one that initiated the attack…"

Air hitched in Bakugou's lungs as he stared at them. Even Uraraka had frozen at the mention of Endeavor.

Fuck. They didn't know yet. They really hadn't been told anything.

Had Endeavor's death not been announced on the news? It was possible the media still hadn't been given the exact details on the matter, but it wouldn't be long before everyone knew. They were damn lucky that the one news helicopter hadn't been forced to evacuate right before Bakugou and Uraraka's arrival. No one had been around to film the event, unlike the Kamino Incident back in the day. All Might's secret had been aired for everyone to see. After the cell phone footage of Deku's attack had been released, Bakugou did not want to imagine the frenzy the public would have gone in if they'd seen pro hero Shouto murder Endeavor in cold blood.

Fuyumi stormed over to them, tears gleaming behind her glasses. "They won't tell me what room he's in. Apparently he's being kept under guard and isn't allowed visitors until…" She clenched her hands at her side. "Until he's transferred to a prison hospital."

Would Todoroki be taken to Tartarus? After that display of power, he was a big enough threat, even if Bakugou knew he wouldn't go off like that again. The quirk was broken, although there was a chance he was too.

"Rei Todoroki?" a voice called behind them.

She immediately stood up straight, although she wavered briefly under while held by Uraraka. "Yes?"

Everyone looked up to find Detective Naomasa striding towards them. He was only half in his usual uniform, his suit jacket and tie ditched. Along with a hint of scruff on his face, his hair was a mess. He looked more like Aizawa than the typical clean-cut, friendly image he liked to project. He must have been working through the night to look like that. Still, his voice was clear and calm, most likely for the benefit of Todoroki's family since they were all so frazzled and upset.

"I'm Detective Naomasa," he greeted when he stopped in front of them. "I'm one of the officers in charge of your son's...case."

"Can we see him?" Rei asked.

Naomasa frowned. "I'm not sure if that's a good idea right now."

"Why the hell not?" Natsuo demanded. "He's our brother! He was captured and tortured by villains!"

"We're still determining whether or not he's a threat," Naomasa explained uncomfortably. "Are you aware of what happened to him while he was being held captive?"

Uraraka stepped forward. "I explained the situation after my debriefing. I thought they deserved to know. Plus, I was concerned they might be in danger since we didn't know how he'd react to the quirk."

Naomasa sighed in frustration, but he didn't berate her. More than likely, it had been against protocol for her to do something like that, seeing as how they were trying to keep most of the finer details out of the public. Even the smallest of details could sway the minds of people. A once beloved top hero thought dead and showing up as a villain had horribly shaken things up. The public was so fucking finicky. Their once firm faith in heroes started to waver. It pissed Bakugou off.

People had been even warier after Uraraka and Todoroki's kidnapping. While most believed them to be victims, the erratic cell phone video had made it look like at least Uraraka had gone with them willingly. A small but loud crowd had started to believe that at least Uravity was on the villains' side. In the confusion, Todoroki's name had started to be dragged through the mud, some people proclaiming he turned dark because of a grudge with his powerful hero father.

Well, they hadn't been entirely wrong.

"Although he did turn near the end and help fight...the villains," Naomasa continued, "we're still unsure if he's fully on our side or if he could turn again if triggered. Even using my quirk while speaking to him didn't provide the answers it usually does. The quirk did a number on him, making him difficult to assess, and seems to have some lingering effects. He questioned the ability to trust himself during his interrogation."

"Interrogation?" Natsuo clenched his jaw tightly. He looked like Endeavor when he did that, but Bakugou figured that was a bit callous to ever mention even for him. "He's a victim."

"Who initiated an attack that killed and injured an incredible amount of people," Naomasa added. He kept his voice as gentle as possible, but the statement was blunt enough to force Natsuo to stand down and his sister to wince. "This is a very delicate situation. The attack was very public. Everyone knows about it, but they don't know the circumstances. Quite frankly, we're unsure if bringing up an unknown villain with a quirk strong enough to turn top heroes into villains will cause more panic or solve any backlash against heroes."

The two siblings glanced at each other. Backlash against heroes. If anyone were to understand what that might mean, it was one of Endeavor's kids. Bakugou didn't know the details about Todoroki's childhood and likely never would, but he knew that his mother had been driven so mad by her husband that she'd thrown a pot of boiling water on Todoroki's face, giving him that signature scar. They'd never talked about it and Bakugou was unsure if Todoroki was even aware that he knew, but it was enough to paint an ugly picture against the Flame Hero.

"What's going to happen to him?" Rei asked quietly. While Naomasa had talked, she had neither moved nor blinked. She simply stared down the detective with a look not unlike one that Todoroki gave sometimes when he was upset but didn't want to react. He wasn't as difficult to read anymore as he used to be in school, but he was still pretty maddening.

"It's hard to say at this stage, especially considering what he went through," Naomasa admitted. "He seems to believe he deserves the highest punishment possible."

"No," Uraraka gasped, the color rushing from her face. "He doesn't deserve that. It wasn't his fault. If not for Kyomu, he never would have-" She cut herself off, looking at Todoroki's family out of the corner of her eyes. They didn't know. She must've figured that out as well, but had almost let it slip just now, catching herself at the last second. "Shouto is a good person. He was manipulated and tortured. He deserves better."

"It's more complicated than that and you know it," Naomasa said, although he didn't sound pleased about it either.

Uraraka sunk slightly, pulling away from Rei. She did know - they all knew - and it was utter horse shit. Todoroki wasn't a fucking villain, but he'd committed some serious crimes under the guise of one, the kind of crimes that got a person locked away for life and considered a danger to society. If Shigaraki had still been around with the League, he probably would've kicked himself for kidnapping Bakugou instead of Todoroki all those years ago. They snatched the wrong kid. Then again, had this Kyomu been on their team at the time, they might not have after all.

Naomasa stood up straight, a more professional air coming over him. Ah, this was it. He must have come to the same conclusion once he heard Uraraka stop. There was still a compassionate expression on his face - that would never change about him - but he was definitely in cop mode now, the one that had to be the bearer of bad news. The others noticed the change in him too, instantly becoming wary.

"Actually, there are some things I need to discuss with you all," Naomasa said. Rei nodded her head and clasped her hands in front of her, so tight her knuckles turned white. Natsuo and sister each put a protective hand on her shoulder, even though they looked like they needed the comfort just as much. Naomasa glanced in Bakugou and Uraraka's direction. "In private, as this is a family matter."

"Of course," Uraraka replied, bowing slightly.

Bakugou nodded without saying a word. He sure as shit wasn't going to argue with that. He did not want to be in that room when they found out that they had lost their father and found a brother in the process. It was a fucked up situation. Having Deku's mom cry on him had been painful enough. He didn't know how he would handle seeing Todoroki again after watching his family break down too.

"Although I would like to speak with you two after, so if you could follow me and remain outside, I would appreciate it," Naomasa added. "I'm sure you would like to get back to resting so you can recover faster."

"You can say that again," Bakugou muttered. He wanted the hell out of here, but he was stuck here for at least another night. No doubt Recovery Girl's healing was going to put him out of commission for a few hours again. His painkillers were starting to wear off now that he was no longer attached to the drip. It wasn't pleasant. The walk back to his room was going to be excruciating. It didn't matter. He'd live through the pain. It was better than what Todoroki was going through at least.

He was better off than Shinsou and Iida. He was alive.

 _Fucking stop it._

The five of them followed Naomasa to a small office that had been turned into a space for the police to work in. Had other captured villains been transferred here as well? That seemed reckless. Maybe they were all here for Todoroki, considering the nature of his complicated as fuck case. He certainly hadn't made things easy on them. While he and the Todorokis stepped inside and shut the door after them, Bakugou and Uraraka sat down in a pair of chairs in the hallway. He had to ease himself down slowly so he wouldn't outright collapse, but his body was really pissed off at him right now.

"Deku's mom is going to have to go through this," Uraraka said in a hollow voice as she stared at the door. His gut twisted uncomfortably at the thought of the woman. Hadn't he promised her to save her son? Some hero he'd turned out to be. He'd only got one of his comrades killed in the process instead. ( _Shut up!_ ) "You said she was moved to a safe place, right?"

"Yeah," Bakugou mumbled as he rested his cast on the arm of the shitty chair. It took some of the pressure off of his shoulder and back. "Should've done it sooner. Deku doesn't harbor any ill thoughts towards her though. Not even Kyomu was strong enough to fuck with his memories of her."

"She's a good woman," Uraraka agreed. "I should call her. It's honestly awful that I haven't yet." She gazed down at her hands. "I guess… I guess I'm afraid - of what she'll say or ask. Nothing I tell her will make her feel better. I'll only make things worse." She leaned over to hide her face in her hands. "I just made things worse."

She'd sat on his right, giving him the ability to lay a hand on her back and rub it soothingly. Well, as soothingly as he could manage. She knew he wasn't the type, but he could at least try. She needed it and his emotionally stunted ass could do this one thing for her. Plus, if he was being honest, he needed the contact too. It felt like everything was pressing down on him. Every time they took a step forward, they leaped two back. They got Todoroki back, but they had still failed to save him. Every victory was also a loss.

"What if she thinks I betrayed him?" Uraraka cried into her hands. Tears slipped from between her fingers and dripped onto her thighs. "What if she thinks I failed him or partly blames me for what he turned into?"

"She won't," Bakugou insisted. "She knows you're a damn hero. She knows-" His hand tensed briefly, but he focused on the circles. Now was not the time. "She knows you love him."

Uraraka lifted her head from her hands and wiped her eyes with the heel of her palm. "Todoroki only snapped out of it after he killed his father. I maybe put a little dent in it before, but it obviously wasn't enough to break through. What if the only way to break free is to accomplish the desire Kyomu plants in your head?"

"Then you better start planning my funeral," Bakugou said.

"Don't." Uraraka glared at him sharply. "Don't you dare suggest that."

"What's my life compared to the thousands that Deku could wreck at one hundred percent? At more?" Bakugou pulled his hand away and leaned back in the chair, staring up at the ceiling. He was so mad at this shit, but his body wouldn't let him react the way he wanted. "We saw All Might go beyond twice. Think about the damage Deku could do if he did that. It'd be a damn good way to draw me back out. I wouldn't be able to resist that call."

When he peered at her, the look on Uraraka's face suggested she wanted to smack him, her brow drawn down and her lips pressed into a thin line. At least the color had returned to her face now that she was pissed. He hadn't liked seeing her so pale. "Iida didn't sacrifice himself to save your life just so you could throw it away."

Fuck, that was worse than a physical slap. Bakugou flinched as if she had anyway, but didn't look away from her, taking in her fierce glare and unshed tears.

He grit his teeth. "We don't know-"

"He stopped breathing, Bakugou."

He couldn't fucking breathe right now and yet he kept doing it, in and out, in and out, just staring back at her as the glare faded from her eyes, replaced by a hollow look. She wasn't in the position to speak with Naomasa after this - she needed to get away - but they both knew they didn't have an option. They hadn't given their official statements yet. Likely he wouldn't be the only one in the room. Shit, this was going to suck. Maybe he should ask for some more painkillers to dull the pain. At least then he wouldn't lose his shit when he was undoubtedly questioned for his actions. He knew they would.

After all, he didn't take the shot to kill, but neither had Deku until the very end when he felt like he'd lost everything. There were plenty of times when Deku had the chance to kill him - and he hadn't. That had to mean something, right?

God, he really was getting so desperate that he was ready to cling to the smallest shit. _Pathetic._

A crash from inside the room startled the both of them, Uraraka actually jumping in her chair. Bakugou stared at the door hard. Shouting could be heard, along with what sounded like crying and someone trying and failing to placate the person yelling. With the door shut, their voices were muffled and unintelligible. The door flew open hard enough to slam into the wall, Uraraka grabbing his wrist in surprise, and Natsuo stormed out of the room.

"Fuck that!" Natsuo yelled. "Fuck this entire situation! This is bullshit! I want to see him now!"

Fuyumi, who had her arms wrapped around the hunched and shaking shoulders of their mother, looked out the door and cried out, "Natsuo, come back!"

"Where's my fucking brother?" he demanded instead, rearing back on the room as Naomasa calmly stepped into the doorway. Bakugou could see Endeavor clear as day in him now. His face was twisted into one of pain and anger, but honestly, it was mostly the former. He was beyond devastated and didn't know how to react. Bakugou couldn't blame him for that. If he wasn't in so much pain, he'd probably be asking the same question.

Where the hell were they keeping Todoroki locked up in here?

"I told you," Naomasa stressed. "I can't tell you that right now. I honestly would if I could, but it's not up to me."

"Oh, please," Natsuo scoffed. "Don't feed me that bullshit." He pointed a finger at the detective so aggressively that even Bakugou raised his eyebrows. "I want to know where my brother is. You're keeping him locked up by himself after those villains did the same damn thing to him. After what he went through…"

"I explained why," Naomasa said. "He agreed it was the best choice."

"He had his head scrambled!" Natsuo shouted, throwing out his hands. "Of course he fucking agreed! He's probably scared and upset and filled with guilt and you all aren't making it any better! Are you any better than the bastard that tortured him?"

Fuyumi jumped to her feet. "Natsuo, please!"

Her brother swung his gaze to stare at her, but he did stop. He was breathing heavily, struggling to catch up with his rage. Running his fingers through his hair, he swore viciously under his breath and turned to pace down the hall. With his other fist clenched at his side, Bakugou could tell he was fighting the urge to hit something - to explode and take everything down with him. He knew that look and feeling all too well. It boiled underneath his skin now, although it was too faint to do anything about it. That wasn't the case for Natsuo, who looked like he might actually start a fight with a cop.

(It was a good thing he hadn't inherited a fire quirk.)

"Have you…?" Rei's voice was little more than a quiet whimper, but it carried weight through the pained silence in the hallway. She took a shuddering breath and sat upright, although she didn't turn to face Naomasa. "Have you found any more information on Touya?"

Naomasa shook his head even though she wasn't looking at him. "No, we haven't. Most of his childhood records were apparently destroyed. It's why he wasn't found out after his arrest and incarceration." He hesitated before continuing, "To be honest, I wasn't even aware he had another son."

"Yeah, Dad was always pretty good at making shit disappear," Natsuo retorted coldly.

"Stop it!" Fuyumi cried. "Not now, Natsuo - don't say things like that now, not after…"

Regret flickered across Natsuo's face, breaking the angry exterior he'd been clinging to since bursting out of the office. People said a lot of shit they regretted when they were upset. He wondered if Deku had ever done something like that - if he and Uraraka had gotten into spats like normal couples and he let a few things slip that he shouldn't have. God fucking knew Bakugou had. It was like his brain couldn't wait to get him in trouble whenever he was upset and not thinking clearly.

"Are you sure it was Shouto that...?" Fuyumi asked, staring at Naomasa desperately. "You said Hawks arrived at the scene late, so maybe-"

Before the detective could answer, Uraraka stood and said, "It was him. I saw it happen." Everyone turned to look at her, Bakugou included. He had to fight the urge to pull her back into the chair. She balled her hands into fists at her side and glared at the floor. "I'm-I'm sorry. I was too late. I was too slow. I keep wondering if there was something I could've done to stop him - something I could've said when I first found him and separated him from the fight - but it doesn't matter. I failed you. I failed the heroes. I failed Shouto."

"Don't say things like that, please," Rei insisted in a pained voice. Uraraka trembled slightly under the weight of the pressure she'd put on herself. "You helped bring Shouto back to us. The last thing you did is fail. I can't be more grateful. What happened - what he did… That isn't your fault. I'm sure he believes that too."

"Besides, it wasn't all on you," Bakugou grumbled as he pushed himself to his feet. His body protested, but he ignored it. "I confronted him first. I probably made it worse since the villains had turned him against me too. If not for you, he would've come after me next." He fixed Naomasa with a hard look. "And if not for him, Deku would've likely killed me and more lives would've been lost had he not stopped the building from falling."

Had the building been falling because of his attack? This whole situation was a mess. No wonder Naomasa looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here. This was brutal.

Rei finally turned in her seat to face Naomasa. "I want to see my son. He needs to know we haven't abandoned him." Her expression was cool, even with the grief so obvious in her red-rimmed eyes. "If the quirk is still affecting him any, wouldn't that be a direct contradiction to it and help break it further."

Naomasa gazed at her. He sighed and rubbed his temple in consternation. "I'll bring it up with my superiors."

"Yeah, you do that," Natsuo muttered.

Fuyumi wrung her hands nervously in front of her. "When...when will our father's body be released? We need to…"

She couldn't finish the sentence, likely because she didn't know what they had to do. Bakugou thought of Deku's funeral - how massive and claustrophobic it had been. It had felt like half of Japan was there to mourn him. Besides meeting in his apartment to let them know that Deku was actually alive, it was the one time Class A had gathered together in years. Bakugou hadn't wanted to speak with anyone. Most of them went out after for drinks, but he had gone back to work right after the funeral. The stupid villain that had he'd caught trying to rob a bank hadn't stood a chance in the face of his anger. He hadn't known what to do with himself either.

"I understand the situation is tenuous, but this is- these are my sons," Rei said as she stood up. "I want to know if there any updates about them - both of them. Touya…" She lifted a hand to her chest. "If what you said is true…"

"Shouto confirmed it," Naomasa put in. Fuyumi choked on a sob and pressed a hand against her mouth to stop herself. Natsuo slammed his fist against the wall, but he clearly restrained himself.

Ah, Dabi was Touya then? Bakugou wouldn't have known Todoroki had siblings until they showed up for their second Sports Festival. Only one of Endeavor's children were ever talked about. Go fucking figure Bakugou had to be kidnapped by another Endeavor progeny. Because one Todoroki wasn't frustrating enough. This just kept getting more messed up by the second. What a fucking soap. He didn't want to sit here and watch this - he wanted to leave - but he knew Uraraka couldn't just walk away and Naomasa wanted to speak with them besides.

Rei clutched the front of her shirt. "Touya was a good boy, but what he went through… You said Shouto believed he was put under the quirk too?" Naomasa nodded and she swallowed. "Please… Please, bring him in alive. I know that heroes and the authorities will be out for blood after what happened to Enji, but I want to see my oldest son. I thought he was dead. I can't… I can't lose him again. I just want him back."

"I understand," Detective Naomasa proclaimed genuinely. He took her hands in his. Even though his quirk worked the other way, he held her hands and looked her in the eyes as if he could show her he meant it. "As soon as we find anything out or there's a break in the case in regards to your son, I will let you know."

Fuyumi stepped forward anxiously. "I guess I can see why we can't see Shouto right now" - Natsuo snorted and shook his head, which she ignored - "but can we at least talk to him? On the phone or letters? You can screen them if that makes things safer or whatever."

"I'll see what I can do," Naomasa said as he let go of Rei's hands. Before Natsuo could let another irritated remark slip out, a faint but encouraging appeared on Naomasa's face. It didn't look forced, but he was definitely tired. "But I think I can work something along those lines out until you're given the clear to see him."

Bakugou gently tugged Uraraka back so they could give Todoroki's family space and privacy to finish their conversation with Naomasa. She understood immediately, turning to face him. When they connected eyes, she looked so sad that he could only take a breath. She closed her eyes and dropped her forehead against his chest. He forgot sometimes because of how much damage she could do and fight she had in her, but Uraraka was so small compared to him. He could easily wrap her up in his arms and wouldn't be a struggle, at least when he had use of both of his arms again.

Shit, he really hated being injured. He was useless as shit.

Naomasa cleared his throat, pulling their attention back to him. Bakugou glanced to the left and watched the retreating backs of Todoroki's family before allowing Uraraka to pull him into the room. One of the chairs was thrown to the side, presumably Natsuo's. A number of things could've provoked him to lash out, but none of that mattered to Naomasa as he bent over with an exhausted groan to pick up the chair and set it upright.

When no one else walked into the room, Bakugou turned to face him. "This isn't a debriefing about what happened yesterday."

"No, it's not." Naomasa eased himself down into the chair, looking even more tired than he had moments ago. He'd been putting up a strong facade for the Todorokis, but must not have seen a point in doing so with them when they probably looked even rougher than he felt. "We'll do that first thing in the morning at the station when you're discharged from here. My superiors wanted to do it today, but Recovery Girl said you'd be out of commission for the day while recovering from your injuries."

Bakugou dropped into a seat much harder than he should've, but instead of wincing, he ground out, "I'm fucking fine."

"Of course you are." Naomasa didn't waste energy pretending to believe him. He leaned forward and propped his elbow on the table, rubbing his forehead. "This entire case is a nightmare. No one can agree on anything. Some people want to lock Todoroki up; others think he should be released and undergo therapy; and the rest don't know what to do, especially after we spoke with him. A lot of stuff came to light that no one was truly prepared to hear."

"It's hard feeling sorry for a man like Endeavor, isn't it?" Bakugou replied roughly.

"Todoroki certainly feels guilt over what he did," Naomasa sighed, "which makes things even more complicated. He's not just remorseful over what he did; he genuinely didn't want to do it and had his hand and mind forced. He's a victim in multiple ways. If it had been just Endeavor…"

Bakugou scoffed. "He still wouldn't forgive himself even if he did only off his shitty old man instead of destroying an entire street and building."

Was it wrong to speak ill of the dead so soon after their passing? No doubt. However, he wasn't in the mood to mince words. Endeavor had been a piece of shit in the past. He improved over the years, but that didn't make his past any cleaner. Despite what Todoroki said when he was under the quirk, Bakugou knew he wasn't anything like the man, but he also knew what it was like to not have a clean track record.

Uraraka sat down next to him. "If we're not here to be debriefed, then what do you need us for?"

"I wasn't lying about Todoroki not being allowed visitors," Naomasa said. "He specifically asked not to see his family. I think it's more out of fear over their reactions and how they feel about what he did, but also there's real concern about how the villain's quirk warped his perception of the rest of his family." So it was true, as Uraraka had feared. Kyomu had messed with more than Todoroki's memories of his father. "He's being evaluated repeatedly to see if there are any changes in his memories or how he feels the longer he goes without being exposed to the quirk. We need to find out if it wears off on its own naturally, if it's long-lasting, or even somewhat permanent. So far, it seems like his mind is split. He's starting to remember both."

"That sounds like a huge fucking headache," Bakugou said.

"For everyone involved, including him," Naomasa agreed. "The doctors are concerned pushing him further might actually hurt him even more."

"Locking him up isn't helping matters," Uraraka pointed out harshly. "That's what the villains did."

Surprisingly, Naomasa nodded. "I agree. Keeping him in isolation away from family and friends is a bad idea. It can't be healthy for him mentally or emotionally, and those are the two things we need stable if we're going to get information we can trust out of him." He folded his hands and fixed a considering look on them. "Which is why we need you two to step in. He asked if he could see you and I think it's the quickest solution we have."

Bakugou twisted his lips into a frown. "Both of us? I'm pretty sure he'd rather see Uraraka more than me."

"No, he asked to see you as well," Naomasa said, surprising him even further. "We're backed into a desperate corner. While we have the villain Uravity captured in custody, I'm hoping Todoroki can provide key information to end this. It'll work to his advantage when it comes time to decide what to do with him."

"A bargaining chip, huh?" Bakugou didn't like the sound of that. This was Todoroki's life they were talking about, not a round at roulette.

Naomasa didn't appear to like the odds either when he grimaced. "It's his best shot. Work with him, talk him through what he went through, try to jog up any details that might help us find the villains or figure out who they are. The memories and details are there, but they're all jumbled and he's scared. He trusts and feels safe with you."

"So you're using us to get through to him," Uraraka said flatly.

"To be fair, he asked to see you first and my superiors didn't think it was a good idea." Naomasa leaned back and folded his arms across his chest. "You're free to turn this down if it makes you uncomfortable, but know you're leaving him to do this on his own too. He needs someone in his corner."

A hard glint found its way in Uraraka's eyes, the kind of look that said she'd rather pass out than give up. He knew it well, seeing as how he'd seen it in her eyes the day he remembered her name. After their Sports Festival fight, he never forgot it again. How could he forget after witnessing such ferociousness? That look was back in her eyes. It was enough to get his blood boiling. Like hell she was going to turn Todoroki down. He asked for them, so she was going. She could've been half out of it and still would've gone.

"When can we see him?" Bakugou asked.

"Tomorrow after your interview," Naomasa answered.

"Good. I don't feel like waiting." Bakugou stood up. "You ready to get out of here?"

Uraraka didn't answer him, still eyeing Naomasa intensely. "Have you spoken with him? Shouto? Or have you just watched his interrogations?"

"I've spoken with him directly," Naomasa said.

"How is he? Really?"

Naomasa eyed her for a moment. "It's hard to tell whether he's devastated or hollow. It feels a little bit of both. He thinks his life is over."

Uraraka chewed on her dry bottom lip. "Is it?"

"I don't know," Naomasa answered honestly. "I genuinely don't know what's going to happen to him at this point. I don't think he knows what he wants to happen either."

It wasn't the answer Uraraka wanted - Bakugou could tell by the way she sunk in on herself as the fire faded from her eyes - but at least Naomasa was honest. Todoroki hadn't just attacked some heroes or civilians. There was no way he could get out of this unscathed. Even if he did, he wouldn't have wanted it.

Deku sure was in for a rude ass awakening, but so were they.


	37. Chapter 37

Debriefing mentally exhausted Uraraka, but she had nothing on Bakugou. Not only did dark shadows rest under his eyes, but he moved more sluggish than she'd ever seen. On top of dealing with hours-long questioning, constant stress, and sleep deprivation, Recovery Girl's healing quirk drained him of even more energy. After she healed his arm, he passed out for the rest of the night, but he didn't look rested one bit the next morning. When they were questioned about Todoroki and the fight, she took the lead once more while he was sat quietly beside her. He knew more about Deku's condition, but even then, his voice lacked its usual heat.

Uraraka laid a hand on his arm. "Maybe you should rest before we see him."

Bakugou rubbed his forehead with his now healed arm. "No, I'm fine. He's waited long enough."

Since being taken in, Todoroki had most likely been beaten down with accusations and questions one right after another. He needed someone on his side. His family was desperate to be there for him, but he couldn't stand to see them yet. She understood why, but it still made her heart ache. They were lucky he wanted to see them. She'd been afraid he might try to push them away - his guilt often turned into isolation as a form of self-inflicted punishment - but he reached out to them. Maybe they could help him uncover information the police and other heroes couldn't.

After the debriefing, Naomasa told them to wait outside so he could take them to where Todoroki was being held. Upon being discharged from the hospital, he was placed in an unknown facility for holding. It wasn't quite a prison, but he wasn't free either. He couldn't simply walk around like everyone else. Whenever Uraraka pictured him in a cramped room, shackled with quirk inhibitor braces, her heart sank into the pit of her stomach.

The heroes were doing the same thing as the villains.

Uraraka dug her nails into her palms. It wasn't fair. A cell was still a cell, no matter who was holding the keys.

When Naomasa finally stepped out of the room, he nodded and they followed him. No words needed to be said. They might not know where they were going, but they knew who they were going to. Nothing else mattered. She caught a glimpse of a few officers and heroes inside the room, peering at them with unreadable expressions, and turned away. Assholes. They didn't know anything. Who were they to judge Todoroki? The only time Bakugou snapped in there was when a hero questioned whether Todoroki had truly been manipulated.

 _"If you were half the hero he was, maybe you'd have a seat closer to the front, you half-baked piece of shit."_

No one brought up the idea that Todoroki willingly killed Endeavor and destroyed his agency again. Exhausted as he looked, everyone seemed to know better than to push that line of thought further with him around.

Besides a few patched up wounds Recovery Girl deemed unnecessary to heal, Bakugou looked as good as new. It would've been impossible to realize his arm was broken the day before. He jammed his hands into his pockets as they walked out of the police station and silently slipped into the back of Naomasa's car without complaint. The urge to reach across the backseat and take Bakugou's hand burned in Uraraka, but she set it aside. Her need for physical comfort could wait. They had to focus on Todoroki.

The building they pulled behind was on the outskirts of the city, nondescript and easy to look over. It looked like an office at first glance, but when she examined it closer, she noticed the extra fortifications and security. Whoever ran this place wanted it to look boring and unimportant, but she had a feeling it was built and ran like a prison on the inside. Bakugou's jaw tightened as he looked it over, but he said nothing, most likely coming to the same conclusions as her.

People normally locked up here were dangerous villains who couldn't be placed in the general population of prison yet. She imagined villains were detained here during their trials. This was likely where villains like Shigaraki, Dabi, and the other League members had been held before being transferred to their maximum security prisons. Now it was Todoroki's place, stuck in the same room he had landed his brother after taking him down years ago. Dabi could've said something then, really dug a knife between his ribs, but he hadn't. The image of the way he'd pulled Todoroki away from their father's body flashed in her mind's eye.

No, this was much worse.

Naomasa led them inside. As Uraraka suspected, security was tight. They went through multiple security checks, confirming their identity and searched for any weapons. Bakugou snorted when he passed through the metal detector. As if he needed a weapon. He was one. Uraraka was less likely to be considered a threat, but she knew the strength of her quirk. She'd held up half a building on her own. She didn't require a gun to do damage. Still, they went through the routine without complaint and followed a guard to an interrogation room.

"This place is cheery," Bakugou muttered under his breath.

Uraraka didn't want to say it, but the hallway and rooms of the villain hideout had been warmer. Maybe it was a false warmth, but it was something. They'd tried to come up with the illusion of a safe place. She wasn't sure if it was for Deku or themselves. Villains were human too. They desired warmth, attention, comfort, safety. All of which Todoroki was being denied now. Not that he'd been treated any better before giving into the quirk - not like her - but he was with the enemy then. She wanted to believe he was safer and in better hands now that he was back on their side, but he was being treated so coldly.

The guard paused in front of a metal, gray door and turned to them. "Every visitation is recorded with both video and audio. You will be pulled out if anyone crosses a line. You are not to touch the prisoner-"

"Shouto," Uraraka cut in. The guard blinked, taken aback.

"He's a pro hero," Bakugou added sharply. "Show some fucking respect."

The guard opened his mouth to argue - Todoroki was a pro-hero who had murdered Endeavor and had caused the deaths of many others - but the glare in Uraraka's eyes told him to shut it. She heard the rules loud and clear, but to be honest, she didn't really care. The villains had warned her to keep her distance from Todoroki too, but they at least didn't force them apart when she ignored them. Her stomach turned at the almost positive comparison. Was this the world of heroes that Deku wanted to destroy?

"We know the drill," Bakugou ground out. "Now open the damn door and let us in."

Despite the suspicion in his eyes, the guard unlocked the door and pushed it open to reveal a drab, gray, concrete room. Naomasa stepped aside to let them enter, choosing to remain outside. He didn't want his presence to affect anything. Uraraka was grateful. She wanted it to be just them, even if she knew their meeting would be recorded. It didn't take away how much she wanted to see him.

It also didn't take away how much it hurt.

As soon as Uraraka's eyes landed on Todoroki, her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach. Compared to how he looked held captive with the villains, he looked fresh, his hair washed and his face clean. Despite the dull look in his eyes, he appeared more rested. Maybe he wasn't sleeping well because of the guilty thoughts racing through his mind, but he wasn't being mentally tortured once a day anymore. At least not from someone on the outside. She was positive he was torturing himself enough. He was no longer in his trashed hero costume or cloaked in Dabi's jacket, but the prison clothes made tears prick her eyes.

Even worse were the quirk inhibitor braces on his wrists and the chain that shackled him to the table, leaving him unable to stand. Anger rose violently in Uraraka, and her hands clenched into fists at her side as she struggled not to lash out. When Todoroki lifted his eyes to meet hers, the air was stolen from her lungs. She'd never seen him look so broken in her life, not even after Deku's funeral. Everything hurt. A scream built up inside of her, barely kept down. She couldn't stand to see him like this.

Her eyes locked onto his, Uraraka took one step forward and then another, but before she knew it, she was rushing toward him, crying out, "Shouto!"

The guard lurched forward to stop her. "Uravity-"

It took everything in Uraraka's power to stop the guard with only a four-finger smack. She could've easily snatched away his gravity and sent him floating to the ceiling where he couldn't hold her back. "I know the rules," she said, glaring at him. He chewed on the inside of his cheek as he considered the words she hadn't said aloud.

 _I don't care._

He had warned them that they would be removed if they didn't follow the rules, but damn them anyway. If they were desperate enough to allow her and Bakugou to see Todoroki when he was on lockdown, they could afford to bend a few more rules. She refused to treat him like a prisoner, even if that was what he was. Disgust and rage boiled inside of her, making her stomach turn and her heart race. Blood thumped in her eyes as she stared the guard down until finally, he stepped back.

"I don't mind the rules," Todoroki said, not having moved in his seat.

"I do." Uraraka closed the distance between them and threw her arms around his neck. With him chained to the table, it was an awkward hug since he couldn't return it, but she let out a relieved sigh when he leaned into her. She was so scared he would push her away, but no, he needed this. Besides the authorities and guards, he had probably been alone, just like he was for the two weeks before. Instead of undergoing Kyōmu's quirk, he was being subjected to multiple rounds of questions by different people.

It wasn't much different in the end, was it?

Uraraka pulled back and bent down to tug on the chains. "I want these off."

"That's against regulation," the guard said. After being disobeyed once, he would likely put his foot down.

"It's okay, Ochako," Todoroki insisted quietly.

"No, it's not." Uraraka tightened her grip on the chain and stood up straight. "He's not an animal. He doesn't need to be chained to a table while we talk with him. It's not right."

The guard's jaw twitched. "It's for safety-"

"He's wearing quirk inhibitor braces, for fuck's sake," Bakugou snapped. He stepped inside, brushing past the guard brusquely. "If he can take us down, get past Naomasa, and escape here, then he deserves it." When he and Todoroki connected eyes, the latter straightened in his seat, a harder look coming over his face. It wasn't anger or disdain, not like he'd shown during the fight, but it was hard for her to read. "Give me the key and I'll do it if you're scared to get close. If he tries anything stupid, I'll take him out myself, but I doubt we will. He's not on the villain's side anymore."

"How can you be so sure?" Todoroki asked evenly.

Bakugou snorted. "Don't be so dramatic, Icy Hot." He held out a hand to the guard and tossed him a dull glare over his shoulder. "Keys, now."

"Go ahead," Naomasa told the guard. "The room is under close supervision."

Being chained down wouldn't have made Uraraka feel cooperative. She was certain Todoroki hadn't held anything back while being questioned, but a person's state of being could affect their mind. Once Bakugou snatched the keys from the guard, Uraraka stepped back so Bakugou could stand in her place.

However, when Bakugou grabbed the lock of the chain, Todoroki hesitated. "Wait." Panic flared across his face briefly before he shoved it back down. "Are you sure this is a good idea? I...I think I'm fine. The braces are a large enough hindrance, but what if I slip back? What if-?"

"You've gotta trust us." Bakugou stared him in the eyes, a stony expression on his face. "Also, are you really suggesting you could take me out in a no-quirk fight? That's stupid and insulting." He softened imperceptibly, the heat leaving his eyes, but it was enough for only Todoroki and Uraraka to notice. "Sounds like you to me."

Without waiting for any further disagreements, Bakugou undid the chain. It slid from his wrists and landed on the metal table with a loud clang. As soon as he was freed from it, Todoroki sucked in a gasp of air and leaned back in his seat, something he hadn't been able to do before. They had him on such a short leash. It was no wonder he felt like he couldn't breathe. Bakugou tossed the keys back to the guard and nodded at Naomasa. The two men left the room, silence falling over them as the door clicked shut.

Todoroki still couldn't do much with his wrists bound together, but he set his hands in his lap, stretching out his arms. "You came."

"Of course we did," Uraraka jumped to say. She grabbed a chair and pulled it around to sit next to him.

Bakugou folded his arms across his chest. "Why wouldn't we?"

"I thought…" Todoroki dropped his gaze to his lap. "I remember what you said after… But it could've been from the heat of battle, the rush of adrenaline, all the crazy emotions. I thought you might hate me. I wouldn't have blamed you if you did. I failed in the worst way possible. I fell into their grasp and all the tricks."

Uraraka squeezed his shoulder. "It wasn't you."

"It was," Todoroki said flatly. "I killed those people. Even if I was manipulated into doing it, I still did it." He blinked slowly. "I still killed my father."

Bakugou's jaw twitched. "Yeah, you did. Now it's time to do something about it - get back at the bastard that fucked with your head." He pointed a finger at Todoroki, who lifted his head just enough to peer at him through the hair that had fallen in his face. "That bastard used you. It's time we fuck him up for all the shit he's caused. Just because he's convinced other people to do his dirty work doesn't mean his hands are clean. He needs to pay."

"Careful, Bakugou," Todoroki warned. "Revenge doesn't taste nearly as sweet as you'd think."

No, it certainly did not. His confused, pained screams as Endeavor died echoed in her mind. Todoroki hadn't felt the relief or happiness that Kyōmu promised him should he kill his father. He thought he would be free once he finally rid of the world of a man who had tormented him for years, only to be chained down even further. He probably couldn't even see out of the black hole he felt like he'd fallen into.

"Don't think of it as revenge then," Uraraka told him. "We still need to save Deku." She chewed on her bottom lip in hesitation before softly adding, "And your brother."

Todoroki stiffened. "I don't know if he wants to be saved."

"I spoke with your family," Uraraka said. He glanced at her briefly before looking away again, as if unable to look her in the eyes at the mention of his family. "I can't begin to understand what you're feeling, but you should know they still love you. They want to see you, your mother especially."

"I can't," Todoroki croaked weakly.

"I know, I know. It's okay. You need time." Placating could only do so much, but Uraraka wasn't sure what to say but the truth. "She wants you to know they haven't abandoned you. It's...complicated." He snorted derisively. "It's seriously messed up. And maybe he doesn't want to be saved. But isn't that how you feel now? Like you don't deserve to see your family again? Like you betrayed them and us beyond repair?"

Todoroki dug his nails into his thighs. "That's what I did. I was worse than most villains. I killed those people and I felt absolutely nothing. _Nothing_ , Ochako. I didn't even think about them after I took out the agency."

Bakugou slapped a hand on the table, startling both Todoroki and Uraraka. "Snap out of it, Todoroki. Save the angst for later. You can cry about how you were a villain or you can step back into your role as a hero and do something about it. Wallowing in guilt isn't going to do shit for the people you hurt and it's not going to help Deku."

Lifting his cuffed hands to rub his face, Todoroki sighed, "You're right. It's just…" He paused, keeping his hands over his face. "It's hard - to put it aside, I mean. Every time I close my eyes, I see my father bleeding out, the agency skewered, bodies in the street, Deku… I see Deku. He was so upset with me. I don't know why that betrayal hurts so much when I know it was the right thing to do but it does."

"He's alone." Uraraka gently swiped the hair out of Todoroki's face so she could see his eyes. "But you're not. We're right here with you every step of the way."

"Thank you." A troubled look swept over Todoroki. "Have you heard news about Iida? I asked, but I'm under a limited exposure to what's happening outside of here."

After Uraraka and Bakugou glanced at each other, Bakugou shook his head. "No one's told us anything. They keep hounding us for answers but don't tell us shit. Last I heard he was in surgery, but that was when we first arrived at the hospital."

Uraraka fiddled with her hands. "Maybe no news is good news. If something happened to him, they would've told us, right?"

Bakugou didn't say anything. Neither did Todoroki. He knew less than they did about what happened out there. Naomasa would've told them, wouldn't he? Unless they were concerned it would be a distraction. Iida had been so still after taking that hit from Deku in order to save Bakugou. She struggled to remember the details, but she couldn't be sure if he was breathing when she took off his mask. He hadn't responded to her cries or holding him. He hadn't moved. His chest wasn't moving. He wasn't-

A hand on her shoulder stilled her. She glanced back at Bakugou and nodded her head, reassuring him she was fine. She was okay. The idea of pushing Iida to the back of her mind felt like a slap in his face, but she knew it had to be done. Todoroki had asked to see them. Maybe he hoped talking with them, her especially, might jog his memory and help him piece more details together. Kyōmu's quirk had made a mess of his mind, but he was trying to sort through the fiction to find the truth.

"I need your help," Todoroki said, bringing them back to the point. "It's...strange thinking about what it was like when I was being held captive. I guess since I'm no longer going under his quirk repeatedly, my actual memories are coming back, but it's hard to figure out which one is the truth. Some of them feel off, like they're not quite right, but they're also so real. I keep worrying that the ones that feel off are the truth and he made it like that so I'd question myself."

Repeated conditioning must have been what strengthened the quirk. Deku had gone under it a lot more times than Todoroki had, which meant he could go longer periods without needing it. Hadn't Kyōmu said eventually he wouldn't need the quirk used on him at all? The conditioning would be final, his altered memories set in stone. Would they even be able to bring him back after that point or would his true memories be gone?

"I know other memories were messed with as well," Todoroki continued. "He wanted to make sure I was on Izuku's side about Bakugou." He shook his head, as if trying to rid himself of them. "You were fucking awful."

"I'd really like to know how I made this asshole's shit list," Bakugou grumbled.

Todoroki shrugged. "I don't think he really cares about you, to be honest. You were a means to an end. It didn't help that you played right into his hand by becoming closer with Ochako."

Bakugou grunted irritably. "I didn't do it to piss off you or Deku."

"I know, but Kyōmu made it seem like…" Todoroki leaned back in the chair, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling as he struggled to latch onto a fake memory. It must have been so weird - sorting through real and false memories, trying to pick the right ones. "Like you'd been after her for a while." An indignant, choking sound slipped from Bakugou. "The night Izuku died - or didn't die. On the cliff - you hesitated. I...know why, but Kyōmu did something, I think, that made it look like you hesitated on purpose - like you wanted him to die."

" _What_?" Bakugou barked. "And you believed that?"

"It wasn't hard, considering all the times you threatened to kill him and your heated rivalry," Todoroki responded, absolutely brutal in his honesty. It even made Bakugou clamp his mouth shut. "You don't understand the quirk. He can alter memories in massive ways, but that takes time and repeated visits. His true strength lies in tweaking little things here and there and talking through them after. You come up with your own conclusions, your own ideas about how you feel about it. Everything you think or do, it's his doing, but it really is you too."

Pissed as he was, Bakugou didn't argue with the explanation. Instead, he stepped around the table and dropped into the seat across from Todoroki. "So he made me look like a jealous asshole who wanted Deku out of the way. That explains your comment about me sniffing around Uraraka like I was a dog."

Todoroki tilted his head. "You aren't?"

"Shut up." Bakugou rubbed his temple. "So I was just a target for you and Deku?"

"Well, we needed something for us to lock on - to focus on - in order for us to turn against our ideals." Shouto shifted in his seat. "You and Izuku have a complicated history, so Kyōmu used that against him. After he twisted Midoriya's memories of you, he probably made it seem like you had to be taken out in order to cleanse society and also protect Ochako. That's how I felt."

"He made you think I was like Endeavor."

"It wasn't difficult," Todoroki admitted.

Bakugou stiffened, clenching his jaw, but he didn't argue. It must have stung to hear something like that, even if they knew it wasn't true. Temperamental as he might be, Uraraka knew he wasn't like Endeavor. He wanted to make it to the top, but he would only use his own power to make it there instead of forcing his will onto others. His ambition had been the same as Endeavor's back in the day - become the Number One Hero - and maybe he would step on people in the process, but he wouldn't use others to get there. He was better than that, no matter what others and Deku thought of him now.

"Your obsession to become number one, your rivalry and jealousy of Izuku growing up, your fire-related quirk, your temper and aggressive behavior, your tendency to take over and ignore everyone else." The more Todoroki listed things off, the tenser Bakugou became, but still, he said nothing in his defense. Uraraka hated it, but she could see how Kyōmu had manipulated Todoroki's view of him. "I know it's not anywhere near the same, but he got it in my head that you were going to use Ochako like my dad did my mom. You didn't want her for her; you wanted her because of what she stood for, so you could take her away from Izuku and beat him."

None of them said a word as Todoroki's explanation sank in. As much as Uraraka knew it wasn't true, his words did make a compelling argument. If Kyōmu's quirk worked the best on tweaking small details, it really would have been easy to make Todoroki believe Bakugou was as much of a monster as his father had been. Even worse, he had taken away the memories of his father and Bakugou working to be better people.

Uraraka slowly pulled back. "That's absurd."

"I really did play right into his hands," Bakugou muttered. "And I kept doing it."

"What do you mean?" Uraraka asked.

"Fighting Deku head-on, acting all pissed off and aggressive, trying to keep you away from him." Bakugou propped an elbow on the table and put his forehead in his hand, shielding his eyes. "I've been acting the part Kyōmu put in Deku's head this whole time. The harder I fought, the angrier I became over this shit, the more determined I became to defeat him, I confirmed what Deku thought about me." His lips twisted into a grimace. "I probably reinforced the fucking quirk."

"Just like my presence did. Kyōmu even brought that up." Uraraka's shoulders slumped, her gazing dropping to the floor. "I thought I could help snap him out of it if I was there, but instead it played into his fantasy and dream about us being together again. This was just something we had to work through like a normal couple. Eventually I'd agree with him and we'd be happy - and because I was nervous about upsetting him, I tried to placate him more often than not and ended up acting like he hoped half the time."

Todoroki lifted his hands to rest them on the table and leaned forward. "I can't really explain how I snapped out of the quirk's hold, considering I can still feel the effects. It's like I've got two paths. I could slip back into the altered memories and accept them as reality. It's tempting. It really is, especially because rejecting them means accepting my guilt and that I was wrong. As painful as they were, they were also easier to accept. It's so easy to believe that people don't change."

Was it truly easier to believe that people were bad? Uraraka had lived her entire life seeing the good in people. So had Deku, but even she could be petty. It was so unlike him to hate Bakugou and want to kill him out of revenge or jealousy when he had been filled with such respect and determination. Even when he flinched away from Bakugou during their first year, he never begrudged him for his behavior. Deku forgave him - accepted him - as his faults came. It couldn't have been easy. Kindness was a strength not everyone had.

While she knew the compassion that laid in his heart, kindness didn't come naturally to Todoroki. He had been dealt more than a raw hand. The idea that kindness was a weakness had been burned into his heart at a young age. It took him time to figure it out again and even then he held grudges and could be passive aggressive with his cold nature as he was aggressive with his hothead. Kyōmu had needed the extra time to nurture the dormant fear, anger, pain, and insecurities that rested in the back of Deku's mind.

He had not with Todoroki. It had taken him a while to believe his father was truly trying to change his ways and even longer to accept it. He hadn't wanted to believe it, if only because it made his already complicated feelings towards his father even more complex. People would always prefer a simple explanation over a difficult one.

"Uraraka didn't go along with it," Todoroki continued. "She directly contradicted the memories Kyōmu altered. Who should I believe more: my memories or the hero right in front of me? It didn't make sense. I thought-" He swallowed and took a few shallow breaths. "I genuinely thought she told me it was okay to give in - that it would help me be free of all the suffering I felt. And I was - or at least I thought I was. For years, I'd been stuck under the expectations of so many people, but I was relieved. When she shattered that illusion, I realized I didn't feel relief; I felt nothing. I was hollow. It wasn't real."

Bakugou pulled his hand away from his face. "We've told Deku that he's being lied to and manipulated. It didn't work."

"Yeah, but it made him hesitate," Uraraka said. "It confused him. The same thing happened when I helped Shouto snap out of the quirk. It was like breaking through a wall."

Tapping his finger on the table, Bakugou begrudgingly said, "When Deku pinned me down, I didn't know what to do and I couldn't fight back, so I just started trying to reason with him. It took him off guard. He didn't expect me to actually open up and be honest about how I felt."

"Right, because that's not something the Kacchan he knows would do," Uraraka pointed out.

"I know it sounds simple, just breaking an illusion, like Utsushimi's quirk," Todoroki said, "but it's more than that. It's like there are roots dug deep in my head and either they die, get cut off, or need to be dug up. The real memories are becoming stronger, the fake ones or altered details fading, but they're still there. You have to really do something that contradicts the quirk memories."

Leaning back, Bakugou scoffed. "So even if we do manage to snap Deku out of the hold, he could fall right back into it without that bastard even around?"

"His old on Izuku is a lot stronger than with me," Todoroki said. "He genuinely trusts and believes him. It's...like he has somehow replaced All Might in his eyes. Not entirely, but something along those lines. He craves a person like that in his life."

Both Uraraka and Bakugou looked away. Deku's father hadn't been around. Uraraka had only met the man once at Deku's funeral, but even then he hadn't stayed for long. Deku loved his mother more than anything - the fact that he was such a mama's boy was so endearing to her - but he almost never talked about his father. He had barely known the man. It made sense he would want a father figure in his life, even as an adult, someone who had his back, could guide him, protect him, love him. Even before All Might became his mentor, that was what Deku wanted.

Todoroki shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "He...kind of did that with me."

"Did what?" Uraraka asked.

"He, ah…" Todoroki rolled his shoulders and didn't look at either one of them, as if ashamed to look them in the eyes. "He acted like a father."

Bakugou made a disgruntled face. "That's fucked up. He was torturing you."

Todoroki's voice was devoid of emotion as he continued. "At the end, it didn't feel like. Even if it hurt, afterward, he was reassuring and supportive. He made it seem like what he was doing was helping me. Izuku said I would feel better once old, repressed memories came to light and I could move on. Ochako wanted him to help me, ease my pain and anguish. When I stopped fighting, he congratulated me. He told me he was proud of how far I'd come."

All Uraraka could do was listen in horror. She had seen that sort of behavior from Kyōmu firsthand when he'd pat Todoroki's head and assured him that he was safe and Endeavor couldn't hurt him anymore. It hurt to remember such things, but it was for the best. Burying such dark secrets would only make the pain fester until it ate him alive from the inside out. He needed to confront his past. He needed to confront his father. Despite the painful mental torture, Kyōmu was capable of such a gentle touch afterward.

A vague idea popped into Uraraka's mind. "It kind of sounds like what a therapist would say, doesn't it?"

Sneering in disgust, Bakugou grumbled, "Who would want to go to a therapist that messes with your head?"

"Many quirks can harm just as much as they can help," Todoroki said thoughtfully.

Bakugou folded his arms across his chest, hiding his hands. It wasn't an exact dig at him, but she could tell by the way he worked his jaw that he took it as such, considering the situation. He used his quirk to save people now, but when he was young and stupid, he'd used it to bully and demean people he considered beneath him, especially Deku because of his quirkless status. Endeavor had become the Number One Hero with the power and versatility of his quirk and also terrorized his family to the point where Todoroki refused to use the fire half of his for ten years and his oldest son became a villain.

"It would be a really helpful quirk in therapy," Uraraka agreed. "Hypnosis isn't a faulty way of retrieving repressed memories. They're not always true since the person is in a suggestive state." Not even a hypnosis quirk could recall perfect memories. Deku had watched a series of documentaries on it. She remembered finding him passed out on the couch with his face pressed against a notebook while it replayed on the television. "You said Kyōmu brought a few memories you'd blocked out to the surface, right?"

When Todoroki nodded, Bakugou countered, "How do you know they're true? You said it yourself: it's hard to distinguish them or key differences."

"I also said the differences start to fade or, if the memory was altered more or somehow removed, I remember both." Todoroki peered sideways at him. "After the Kamino Incident, did you attack Izuku in front of all of us and call him a pathetic loser?"

"No," Bakugou bit back. At least not in front of them.

They knew about the fight he and Deku had gotten into on campus shortly after they moved in. Deku told her some about what had happened after he divulged the truth about his quirk, but it was still a memory meant mostly for them. It was also one Uraraka had no doubt Kyōmu had tampered with, as if it was a pivotal moment in their relationship. For some reason, that hurt too. She could still picture the small smile on Deku's face when he talked about that night, even though it wasn't exactly a happy memory. It was important though, one that he cherished.

And Kyōmu had taken that away from him.

"Mm, I have a feeling he altered some of the same memories in my head as he did Deku's to fit the narrative," Todoroki murmured. "He's very consistent if nothing else. Meticulous."

"You make it sound like he's some plotting evil genius," Bakugou said.

"No, he's just...smart. Careful. I don't know how to explain it." Todoroki's brow furrowed slightly. "He's a bit like Izuku, you know. He's always got a plan and he's very aware of people - their strengths and weaknesses. He knew that Dabi needed conditioning too. He made sure our memories lined up."

"What do you mean?" Uraraka asked him.

Todoroki shrugged in a way that said he wasn't sure. "The more I think about it, the more I'm certain he either planted memories or made it appear like Touya and I were closer. I don't...remember being close to him. I don't remember him much at all. Before my quirk manifested, Dad was training him, which meant he was separated from us. His quirk was stronger, but also weaker than mine since he lacks fire resistance."

Oh. Uraraka did not like that implication. "The burns…"

"Touya was...twelve or thirteen when my quirk manifested? He was dropped after that, but before that our father didn't lighten his training despite his incompatible quirk." Todoroki grimaced. "I remember him being injured a lot. He was smaller too, so people always mistook him for being younger, and spent time in the hospital. I remember him and my dad getting into fights, him trying to shield Mom from getting hit or me from being trained. It never worked out well. He tried to be a big brother in the end, but I think he was just done by then and Dad especially didn't like him around me since he was considered a failure."

Bakugou threw out his hands. "Fucking hell. You didn't stand a chance with memories like that."

"No, I didn't. I was an easy target." Todoroki took a moment to collect his thoughts before continuing. It was so hard not to be angry at a man who had just died, but it didn't feel right. God only knew how Todoroki felt. "I also think Touya - Dabi, whatever you want to call him - might have broken out of the quirk too. He went ballistic after our father was shot and then just shut down when he died. Maybe he didn't have to go through as much conditioning as much, but I think something went wrong with him too."

Be careful what you wish for, as the saying went. Both Todoroki and Dabi had truly believed they wanted their father dead, but now that he was, they were both paying the price. She thought of Dabi's cavalier attitude while she'd been with the villains compared to how he'd reacted after Endeavor died. She pictured him smirking, laughing, gloating, or simply just walking away, washing his hands of the whole thing, not the silence and shock or the way he'd tried to drag Todoroki away.

"I'm not fucking saving him too," Bakugou snapped.

Todoroki sighed. "It might not matter."

A knock on the door interrupted them. Uraraka grabbed Todoroki's arm, prepared to tell the guard they weren't ready to leave, when Naomasa walked into the room. She didn't loosen her grip.

"You're okay," Naomasa reassured them. "Something you said caught my interest." He set a tablet down on the table in between them. "We don't have a line on Kyōmu's identity, but we're positive it's an alias. The other villain Uraraka captured, Ikeda, was going under one as well. She didn't have much to say on him either, claiming she was recruited by someone else and didn't know him."

"Why was she following them?" Bakugou questioned.

"She said she was bored," Naomasa replied dryly.

Bakugou gaped. "Are you fucking…?" He shook his head. "Whatever."

Uraraka honestly didn't know whether to believe that or not. Ikeda had often worn a face that suggested she was ready to sleep the day away, but not in the same exhausted way as Aizawa had looked. It was like she needed something of interest to keep her awake. Maybe it had something to do with her sleep and dream-related quirk.

"From the way you've described it, I think his quirk would be suited for therapy of some kind," Naomasa said as he pulled up a file on the tablet. "It's possible he was in that line of work before he became a villain. The...sessions with his quirk that you went under do sound similar to something done in therapy."

"Who the hell would want someone who can poke around in their head?"

It might've been beyond Bakugou, but for Uraraka, she could kind of understand the appeal. She'd gone to a few therapy sessions while attending UA to deal with some of the more traumatic events, but her boss had practically ordered her to attend them after Deku's passing. It was a condition for her to return to work so soon. She had been concerned that Uraraka wasn't allowing herself to grieve for her loss. There were days when she might have welcomed the idea that someone could pluck memories out of her mind so she wouldn't be in so much pain and others when she would've cried happily to have good ones brought back to the surface so she could be at peace.

"If he was a therapist or psychiatrist of some kind," Naomasa explained, "it's more than likely he didn't use his quirk the way he does now." He inclined his head at Todoroki. "You're right: some quirks can both help and hurt, depending on how you use them. I doubt most people would've thought a quirk like that was suitable for villainy or anything beyond his job, especially if he didn't divulge how much he could do with it. Do you tell everyone the exact details of your quirk?"

No, she did not. For Bakugou and Todoroki, their quirks were more straightforward. Bakugou could create explosions with his palms and Todoroki could create ice and fire. Of course, there were more details to them than that, but as Naomasa said, they tried not to tell people the exact nature of their quirk. Deku certainly hadn't told people the reality of his quirk.

The thought made her both wonder and very wary. Kyōmu had to know unless Deku had been able to keep that secret locked away. Shinsou said he was the only person to break free of his brainwashing quirk completely on his own. He was strong enough. Still, she knew that All Might was especially concerned, to the point where he had told the people running point on this about his former quirk. One for All could not be forcibly taken, but if Kyōmu could somehow convince Deku to pass it on to someone more pliable…

Uraraka took the tablet, sliding it closer to her. "So you compiled a list of men in that field of work?"

"It's still a lot, but we narrowed it down to those whose licenses have either expired or they're no longer working as one, on top of anyone over thirty," Naomasa explained. "We figured it was safe to assume he's no longer working in the civilian capacity."

"A psychiatrist by day, a villain by night," Bakugou said. "That would be one hell of a secret identity."

"I also thought it might be worth a shot to narrow it down to those who have kids."

Uraraka glanced up at him. "You really think…?"

Naomasa sighed. "The list was massive as it is. We had to do something. Todoroki said he acted as a parental figure for both him and Midoriya. If he's not in the list, we can take that filter out and broaden the search." He had a point. Todoroki stayed silent and looked down. She thought he might be somewhat humiliated, but decided against bringing it up. If that was the case, it made matters even more complicated for him. Abused by his hero father, tortured by a villain who came off as more kind and sympathetic. It didn't paint a pretty picture. "He may have changed his appearance so we didn't narrow it down by hair or eye color, but if anyone stands out…"

"Of course," Uraraka said for them. Todoroki had already zoned in on the tablet, leaning closer to her in order to get a better look as she flicked through the files. It went without saying. She heard Naomasa walk away and then the door open and shut. Since Bakugou didn't know what Kyōmu looked like, he hung back, arms folded across his chest and legs spread out under the table. Even after narrowing it down, there were still a lot of files to sort through.

Bakugou tipped his head back. "This is going to take a while."

"Unless we get lucky," Uraraka said.

"How many times have we gotten lucky since this shit started?"

It was hard to say. At first glance, not very many, but more villains had died and been captured than heroes killed or hurt. Uraraka had been kidnapped and then let go. Todoroki had been saved if she didn't count the fact that he was locked up. Bakugou was still alive. She had to take the small victories where she could, if only so she didn't drown under the weight of everything else. Endeavor dead. Shinsou in critical condition. Iida…

Uraraka blinked back the tears, willing them away so they didn't splash on the tablet.

After thirty minutes of going through the files as fast as they could, Bakugou went to get a drink. When he returned, he slid two styrofoam cups of lukewarm tea in their direction. Uraraka thanked him quietly while Todoroki blinked in confusion like he hadn't even realized Bakugou left the room. He stared at the cup, unsure of what to make of it, before he slowly took it and stared into the liquid.

"It's a cup of tea," Bakugou snapped. "No need to be weird about it."

"No, it's just…" A strange look crossed over Todoroki's face. "I used to have a cup of tea every time I got up like clockwork, no matter the time, no matter what happened, just to clear my head." He held the small cup awkwardly in his hands because of the handcuffs. "I haven't had one since before I was taken. I didn't think of it now, but I guess I missed it."

It was the little things that made up a person. Uraraka doubted Bakugou knew how Todoroki liked his tea or what his flavor was. Even if he did, he most likely didn't have the ability to make it perfect. She knew he preferred to make his tea in a machine whereas most people used a kettle - that he drank tea in the morning but also when he worked late at night on cases or paperwork - that he could drink it hot or cold like the temperature didn't matter to him - that his mother hadn't drunk a cup of tea in nearly twenty years.

Something so insignificant to someone could mean something completely different to someone else. To Bakugou, it was just a cup of tea, but to Todoroki, it had such complicated connotations. Life before it went to hell with Deku and life after it went to hell with his mother. It was nothing and something all at once.

Bakugou harrumphed and sat back down. "I'm surprised Kyōmu didn't offer you one."

"It would've been a good way in," Todoroki mused. "We talked some after sessions, but not a lot. There wasn't a lot of time and he was often exhausted after using his quirk since he had to do it more often."

"Wasn't like his usual therapy sessions, I guess," Bakugou said.

"No, these were a little more advanced." Todoroki gripped the cup tighter before lifting it to his lips to sip on. He didn't make a face or spit it out, but it was still hard to tell whether he liked it or not. She kind of thought it tasted more like water, but he didn't complain as he set the cup down on the table. Either out of politeness or he simply didn't care, she wasn't sure. She'd have to find a way to get him the tea he liked. Surely they could allow that.

A five-minute break to rest their eyes and another twenty or so minutes of looking at pictures, Todoroki grabbed her hand before she could automatically swipe to the left. His grip tightened as he stared at the photo, his body trembling just a hair.

Even though he wasn't looking in their direction, Bakugou must've caught his sudden reaction in the reflection of the two-way mirror since he sat upright and turned to them. "Is it-?"

"Yes," Todoroki cut in.

"Are you positive?" Bakugou demanded.

Uraraka pressed on the photo to enlarge it on the screen. The man's hair was the same color but shorter, cut in a more professional style, and he looked some odd years younger. He wore a faint but warm smile on his face, one that hinted at the kindness in his blue eyes. His clothes were more casual than the outfits she'd seen Kyōmu wear, more inviting and open. He looked like the kind of man you could trust with your insecurities, exuding positive energy even in the photo, but most importantly, so average she'd never flipped right past him. In a world with heteronormative quirks, someone bland like him - like Deku back when they were kids - could hide in a crowd and never be noticed.

"It's him," Uraraka confirmed. Hatred rolled in her stomach uncomfortably. She set the tablet on the table, not trusting herself to hold it without throwing it across the room in disgust. Bakugou took it as Todoroki sank in his seat, visibly closing in on himself. No, no, she couldn't let that happen. She grabbed his hands. "Naomasa?"

Not even a second later, the detective was striding into the room, already on his way. Bakugou seemed reluctant to give the tablet up, but he passed it to Naomasa, who briefly read through the information.

"Takumi Yoshida," Naomasa read. "According to this information, he's not been in practice for four years. He had his own, but it looks like he closed it." He searched the file more. "No, wait, it's been marked as collateral damage. Businesses have to report any damage caused by villain attacks or during a confrontation with a hero for insurance purposes. We'll need to call them for more information, but that's what it looks like here."

"Anything actually useful?" Bakugou asked.

"His last known address, phone number, and a few other things," Naomasa said, "but I doubt they're current. I'll call it in to get a more detailed report." He clicked off the tablet. "Depending on if he's completely off the grid these days, we might be able to get a clue to his whereabouts. He doesn't look like the type who could survive like most back alley criminals."

"You think he looks like the type who could manipulate two top pro heroes into murdering people?"

Naomasa inclined his head in concession. "That's true. He honestly doesn't."

"He didn't look like that when I met him," Uraraka admitted. "At least not at first. He seemed so...normal."

Then again, not all villains looked like villains. According to Deku, before his first fight with All Might, All for One had looked very much like a normal person too. Besides a few, most of the villains Uraraka had seen with this new League could pass in a crowd as well. People got it in their heads that villains had to look evil, but that wasn't the case. Sure, the evil, scary ones stood out more, but like it or not, villains and criminals lived their daily lives too alongside civilians, police, and heroes. They didn't all hide in the shadows and creep around.

"Any information goes a long way," Naomasa said. "Thank you."

Todoroki bowed his head. "I'm sorry it took so long. I wish I could be more helpful."

"You're doing everything you can," Naomasa reassured him. Uraraka squeezed his hands. "I know this is hard. To be honest, I don't like seeing you here. I'm concerned it's hindering you, but-"

"No, it's the right call," Todoroki interrupted.

"You don't belong here," Uraraka insisted.

Todoroki sighed. "I'd rather not argue about that right now."

Uraraka fought the urge to chew on her lip. It would bleed if she kept it up. "Okay." When she squeezed his hands again, he squeezed back. She smiled at him before turning back to Naomasa. "Can we stay a little longer?"

"Of course," Naomasa said. "I'll call this in. When I'm done, I'll come back to collect you. They're fairly strict on visiting hours."

When Naomasa turned to leave, Bakugou mockingly mouthed the words "visiting hours" and let out a trademark "Tch." He glared at the door when it closed before sweeping his attention to the mirror where the guard and who knew else was watching them. He was uncomfortable. They had all been in a room like this before for their jobs as heroes, but never quite like this. Instead of a criminal or villain in cuffs, it was one of their own. Even though they were on the side of the heroes, even Uraraka couldn't help but feel like they were against her or she was against them, like they were fighting this war on their own.

"Can you…?" Todoroki closed his eyes. "Can you talk me through some things? Remind me of them? I remember a few things that I think aren't right, but I don't know."

"More memories of me being a horrible monster?" Bakugou drawled.

Todoroki opened his eyes to stare blankly at him. "A few."

"Sounds like a blast." Bakugou leaned a forearm against the table and waved a hand. "Let's hear 'em."

Even if he might've sounded pissed off, his suddenly at ease posture gave him away. Uncomfortable as he might've been being watched, Bakugou had shoved all of that aside for Todoroki. He was struggling, drowning, and if acting like this was nothing would help him, Bakugou would do that. He'd be gruff and blunt, like he was normally, but he wouldn't be dismissive. It was exactly what Todoroki needed right now.

Pulling her warm gaze away from Bakugou, Uraraka relaxed her shoulders and told Todoroki, "Start wherever you want. We'll tell you if something doesn't line up."

"I think...our first Sports Festival is a good place to begin," Todoroki replied hesitantly.

"Kyōmu was tampering with that when I was there."

"Yes, he was. I remember that. You're right."

Todoroki took a deep breath and paused to gather his thoughts as best as he could. Despite Bakugou normally being impatient, he waited without saying a word or moving. People always thought he was rash and loud, but she knew he could be calculating too, if not quiet. This was one of those times, but she found it rather comforting too. In a strange way, Todoroki must have as well because as he began to talk, he started to relax. Uraraka didn't know what they could do for him right now except listen and so that was what they did. For so long, he was used to no one listening to him or his cries for help, but they were here for him now.


	38. Chapter 38

Notes: As of now, I officially know that this will be 43 chapters, so good luck and have fun as this winds up and then down.

* * *

Uraraka wasn't sure where to go after they left the facility. She had been discharged from the hospital and her apartment made her heart ache. Walking silently next to her, Bakugou seemed equally at a loss. When they slipped into the car, Naomasa told them he could drop them off wherever, but neither one of them had anything to say. The second safe house was still available, but Uraraka didn't know if it would do any good. Deku had figured out the first place and Aizawa was the most off-the-grid hero she knew.

"UA," Bakugou said in the silence. "Take us to UA."

His rough voice caught her by surprise, and she turned to him in confusion. She hadn't even considered how this would affect UA. They had probably gone on lockdown after being alerted to the attack on Endeavor's agency, but it had either opened back up or would soon. After all, they had attended school and managed to graduate through multiple massive villains attacks. Those attacks were the reason why they were at UA to begin with. As strange and wrong as it sounded, closing it would be a sign the villains won.

Hadn't they though? Yes, the heroes got Todoroki back and they were finally getting answers, but it didn't feel like they'd won a damn thing when they lost him in the first place. Not even learning Kyōmu's real name felt like a victory.

Naomasa didn't question Bakugou, starting the car and heading in that direction, but Uraraka did. "Why UA?"

Bakugou didn't respond at first, a hollow look in his eyes as he stared sightlessly at the back of the seat, before finally answering, "It's been a year today."

 _Oh_. Uraraka's heart dropped into the pit of her stomach. How had she not realized it until now? A year. It had been a full year since Deku dropped into those choppy, dark waters and seemingly vanished from their lives. One _year._

It was hard to imagine how much had changed since then. A year and a day ago, Uraraka thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with Deku. He was planning on proposing to her. Todoroki breached the top five ranks. Bakugou got stuck in a televised interview that they laughed about because of how he'd done his hair. Iida was planning on taking over his older brother's agency in full. Tsu was making waves as one of the top aqua-related pro heroes.

The world had felt so bright back then, like light would always shine on them even in the dark.

Besides Inko, the only other person affected by today's date as much as them was currently at UA. All Might was no doubt struggling horribly. Guilt twisted inside Uraraka at the thought of the former Number One Hero. She should've been there more for him – tried to comfort him more – supported him more. It was thanks to him Deku became a hero. He most likely thought it was also thanks to him Deku was a villain now, even if that was nowhere near the case. Outside of them sharing One for All, Deku was something like a son to All Might. Seeing him like this now would break even the strongest of heroes.

While on the way, Naomasa called to inform the school of their impending arrival. Security had been tightened and strengthened even more during their time at UA. She could only imagine the lengths they were going to now that this second version of the League was running around with Deku at the helm. Aizawa, Midnight, and All Might met them at the gates. Naomasa stayed for a few words but then left claiming work. He needed to see what they had on Kyōmu so far and help build the profile on him.

While Bakugou hung back with his hands in his pockets, hesitating to accept any sort of physical comfort, Uraraka rushed into All Might's arms for a few second time in a few weeks. Neither one of them cried like they did the first time, but her throat constricted and eyes burned as she pressed her face into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, trying to bleed as much support into her as he could, but it wasn't necessary. She wanted to tell him to save his strength – that she was here for him – but she couldn't get the words out of her mouth.

"We won't stay for long," Bakugou grunted as they walked into the main building. "We don't know how much of a target we are now. I don't want them to focus on the school."

Midnight nodded. "Of course."

"I know you won't," Aizawa said, "but have you considered leaving the area?"

Bakugou turned his head away. Of course he wouldn't. Running away from a fight would piss him off to no end, even if it was the best course of action. Nonetheless, he would never be able to run away from Deku, the person who embodied everything awful about his past. It would be akin to running away from himself. He couldn't do it.

"He'd probably hunt me down no matter where I go," Bakugou said. He had considered it, but also decided it was useless. Uraraka had as well, but the idea of leaving Deku behind made her want to both scream and cry. She couldn't do that to him. Even if being there for him had made things worse, she couldn't leave him like this. She managed to help Todoroki break out of Kyōmu's hold. Maybe if she was angry or harsh, he would snap out of it long enough for them to capture him.

The hurt look on Deku's face when she screamed at him to stay away from her and Iida flashed in her mind. That hadn't been the look of a villain or someone under the hold of a villain's quirk. She had seen genuine pain in his eyes even through the tears slipping out of hers. He couldn't even move from the shock. She had never screamed like that at him before. To be honest, she couldn't remember if she'd done it to anyone. When she woke, a wave of shame swept over her for yelling at him so furiously, but…she couldn't regret it. She hadn't wanted him anywhere near her at that moment. She'd never wanted him to touch her again.

"Have you heard news from the hospital on Iida or Shinsou?" Uraraka asked as they stepped into an office. "We haven't been told anything." The teachers glanced at each other, unreadable expressions on Aizawa's and All Might's face. Or at least they thought they were. Hiding their emotions gave them away. "Please. I just need to know."

All Might gestured to the couch. "We received word early this morning…" Uraraka slowly dropped to sit on the couch. Bakugou didn't move from his spot, folding his arms across his chest and clenching his jaw. "Iida was beyond the means of Recovery Girl's quirk and the doctors did everything they could, but–"

"No." Tears escaped from Uraraka's eyes, and she shook her head. "No, no, that's not– That can't be right. How could he be beyond her quirk? I don't– I don't understand." She tried to breathe, but the air wouldn't come in. Iida would tell her to relax. He'd grab her hands and still her in a way he only became when he was intense. He almost always moved his arms when he talked. She used to think it was the funniest thing. She still did. "Iida's strong. He's been through so much. He pulled through, right? He–he–"

Bending to one knee as if folding in on himself, All Might took her hands in his. "I'm so sorry."

Uraraka knew she should accept his comfort, but she ripped her hand out of his to bury her face in her hands and double over. "No, no, no!" Sobs wracked her body, shaking her like a leaf. Her stomach turned and vomit would've threatened to crawl up her throat if she could stop crying for only a moment. When she felt a hand on her back, she jerked away from the touch and the hand retreated. "Iid–Iida can't be– He hadn't even headed his agency for a year yet. He–he was the first one to– He's strong. He can't–"

Gone. He was gone. She didn't even know how to accept that, much less move past it. Deku's death had damn near broken her, but this somehow hurt even worse because of how it happened. It was an accident, but that didn't make it any better. Iida, one of her closest friends, an incredible and kind and passionate hero, was gone.

How was she supposed to keep fighting when everything and everyone was being taken away from her?

When Uraraka pulled her hands away from her face, All Might was still on one knee in front of her, watching her patiently. Pain glowed dimly in his sunken eyes. Had he already cried when he heard the news? Did pros like him cry over deaths? She thought they must. During Deku's funeral, tears had silently slipped down his cheeks as he held a wailing Inko, but she couldn't remember him openly weeping. No doubt he had done that in private. It had been years since he was the Number One Hero and the Symbol of Peace yet he still wore a strong face for everyone to see in his skeletal, weak body.

"He was a hero until the very end," All Might told her softly.

A fresh wave of grief washed over Uraraka, causing her to burst into tears all over again. Until the very end. He was gone. Iida was gone. What was the last thing she'd said to him? She struggled to remember. The last part of the fight outside of Endeavor's agency was a blur. After Iida was hit, all she could think about was how still he was and how she couldn't tell if he was breathing. And then the building collapsed and the quirk inhibitor braces were slapped over Todoroki's wrists and everything was mixed together.

"It should've been me."

Uraraka sniffed and stared at Bakugou. He held himself so tightly she was afraid he might shatter, his arms trembling from the effort of keeping himself together. His face was turned away so she couldn't see his expression, but she could tell by his stiff jaw and neck that he was so close to losing it. They had all suffered losses before. They had all seen people die, not just Deku, but they didn't even have time to properly mourn Iida.

"Bakugou–"

"He pushed me out of the way at the last second. Deku meant to hit me. He didn't want to kill Iida. It should've been me." Bakugou lifted a hand off his bicep to hold it over his eyes, baring his teeth as he grit them painfully. "He was the hero Deku admired and believed in – what I should've been from the start."

All Might stood. "It's not your fault."

"Isn't it though? He died because of me."

"No, he didn't." All Might reached out to him. "He died doing what was right–"

Bakugou jerked away from All Might and stumbled back a few steps. "Bullshit! It's fucking bullshit! It doesn't matter if it was the right thing – if he was protecting or saving me like a hero should – not when he's dead!" Tears leaked from his eyes. She silently watched him as hollowness threatened to take over her grief. Oh. She'd forgotten he was such an angry and emotional crier. Her heart skipped a beat. "I lost someone again. I failed someone again. Iida counted on me to take care of shit and I couldn't do it. I fucking…" He clenched his hands into fists. "A year later and I still can't save one goddamn person when it counts."

"There's a possibility I pushed him too far. I'm sorry."

Uraraka whipped her head around to face the door and jumped to her feet. "Shinsou! You're okay!"

Shinsou grimaced. "A relative term, if I've ever heard one."

Even though her heart ached over Iida's loss, she clung to the fact that Shinsou was alive. She rushed to hug him, mindful of his arm in a cast, but he still flinched. When she pulled away to apologize, he waved her off. The last time she saw him, he had been struggling to stay conscious as she carried him to safety with her quirk. Not hearing any updates on either of them had made her terribly nervous.

"I'm sorry about Iida. I–" Shinsou cut himself off when his throat constricted. He swallowed through the pain. "I saw him at the hospital, but then I fell unconscious and I didn't–"

Uraraka dropped her gaze to the floor. "We all failed him."

"You can't think of it like that," Aizawa said. Having been a hero longer than them on top of being an underground one, which was more dangerous, he had undoubtedly lost friends in the line of duty. Even worse, Iida wasn't the first former student of his to die or forced to quit before him. Just thinking of how many people he'd lost over the years and the deaths he carried on his shoulders was painful.

They hadn't truly known what they were getting into when they applied to UA. All she'd wanted to do was become a hero, sign on with a good agency, and make enough money to give her parents a comfortable life. Yes, she loved the idea of saving people and helping them smile, but there was so much more to it than she'd imagined. She'd never considered the pain and grief that came with being a hero until it was too late.

Bakugou, however, wasn't in the mood for wisdom from their old homeroom teacher. "How else are we supposed to look at it? He sacrificed himself to save me. Now Deku's gonna be gunning for me even more."

"I don't know…" Uraraka tapped her fingertips together in a nervous gesture, a habit she hadn't outgrown. It came back to her now as she thought about Deku. "He seemed genuinely upset."

"Yeah, and then he tried to kill me," Bakugou pointed out. "He blamed me for it."

Uraraka chewed on her bottom lip, nearly piercing the skin. "But…didn't you see him crying?"

When she first looked back, she hadn't recalled the tears. Too blinded by her own emotions, she'd struggled to remember anything else, but now, even amidst the pain, she saw them clear as day. The tears welling in Deku's bright green eyes as he screamed at Bakugou. Maybe he was mad and even blamed Bakugou in that moment, but it was either that or blame himself. The latter would go against everything the quirk convinced him to think. If he was at fault for Iida's death, then what else was he at fault for? What else was he wrong about?

He hadn't wanted to kill Iida. He said he would if he had to – but he hadn't wanted to kill him, just like he hadn't wanted to hurt Todoroki. Out of all of them, Iida was technically Deku's first friend at UA – maybe his first, actual friend in a long time after he closed in on himself during middle school. Losing him might have been the crack in that quirk's hold they'd been trying to find for a month.

Obnoxious laughter cut through the silence. Uraraka startled while Bakugou and Shinsou tensed, only for All Might to cough as he pulled out his phone and muttered, "Sorry, sorry, I keep forgetting to change that– Shit, that's not appropriate at all for the mo–" He furrowed his brow. "I don't recognize the number."

Uraraka connected eyes with Bakugou. "What if it's...?"

"You don't think he would, do you?" Shinsou questioned, sounding skeptical and wary.

"Like I said, it's been a year since he died." Bakugou moved his gaze to the phone. "I'm almost positive he's aware of it too. And now, after what happened with Iida…" He shrugged uselessly. She had never once thought to use the term weak for him before, but he looked so very exhausted. "If he really is upset, who else is he going to talk to about it? It's not like those villains he's slumming with are good for comfort."

"Kyōmu probably messed with Deku's memories about Iida's death too." Uraraka hated bringing it up, considering they might've found a chip in his armor, but it would be all too easy for Kyōmu to take Deku's guilt and grief and twist it into rage.

Bakugou waved a hand. "Answer it."

After hesitating for a second, All Might answered the call and put it on speaker. "Hello?"

"All–All Might?"

Uraraka's heart skipped a beat upon hearing Deku. All Might closed his eyes, unable to look at anyone in the room, like he couldn't bear to hear his protege sound like this. His voice was so fragile, so pitiful, so scared that the urge to cry out for him welled up inside of her. Bakugou remained utterly still like a statue, but it was a reaction in itself. She worried he might break the illusion of strength if he did move. Both Shinsou and Aizawa wore matching dark but impassive expressions while Midnight laid a gentle hand All Might's back.

"I'm here," All Might finally said in a voice she knew wasn't nearly as strong as he would've liked. He took a deep breath and repeated softly, "I'm here, my boy."

"I didn't know– I don't really know what– I haven't seen you since–since– I don't know. How long?" Deku couldn't even manage a full sentence. He barely got the question out. She could hear the tears in his words, the way his voice shook as he struggled to speak. It was like his mouth couldn't keep up with all the thoughts racing through his mind. Could he even make sense of them? Todoroki had been lost and confused after breaking free of the quirk. Was he finding it difficult too?

"It's been over a year – a year and two weeks. We had tea at UA on my lunch break. You wanted to talk about your future with Uraraka. You were thinking about proposing but were unsure if it was a good idea with One for All."

Oh. All Might had known too. It made sense for Deku to speak with him about it. All Might was like a father to him just as Deku was like a son to him. He trusted All Might more than his own biological father – or at least he had. Did. He was calling him now. That was a good thing, right? A sign of improvement or change when he hadn't reached out to All Might before. There had only been a festering bitterness.

"Yeah, yeah, you said… You said it was a bad idea – that any attachments would only hold me back – that I should end things with her and devote my entire life to being a hero. I was wasting her time and mine. I would never reach my full potential with her distracting me. I had a responsibility to uphold and I couldn't do it with her."

All Might's eyes snapped open, a flash of hurt crossing his face as if he'd been deeply cut. "Why would I say something so cruel? I would never tell you that."

"No, you said I was being selfish – that a hero like me couldn't afford a carefree life like that with her. I had to give everything away."

"I would never tell you to do that," All Might insisted firmly, a hint of fire in his eyes. "I never wanted that for you. I thought I had to push everyone away in order to become the Symbol of Peace. Maybe I did, but not you. The people in your life have always made you a stronger hero and a better person than I could have ever been. I…" His hand trembled until he pressed it down on the table next to the phone, holding himself up. Tears splashed on the wood. "I was always so happy you weren't alone. Being at the top is lonely, but every time I saw how in love you and Uraraka were or how well you teamed up with Todoroki or just...just how happy you were with the people in your life, I was grateful to simply be a part of it too. You saved me."

Deku was silent on the other end for a moment. Everyone held their breaths as they watched the phone, waiting to hear his voice again. When he finally did speak, it was void of any emotion. "I saved you." Was it the quirk's effects or was he trying to protect himself? It killed her a little not to know. If only she could see his face, she'd be able to read him then. She'd know. "Saved."

"Yes," All Might said. "If not for you, I would've been alone. I never would've understood how much light people could bring into my life."

"Well, you were just trying to be the best hero possible. Other people didn't really matter beyond saving them and making a name for yourself."

All Might winced. His role as the Number One Hero sounded selfish when put that way, but that was more along the lines of Endeavor's thinking. All Might had cared about people, hadn't he? Just not closely. He kept his guard up, only keeping a few people in his trusted circle. "It was easier to keep people at an arm's length. I didn't want anyone to get hurt because of me."

"Of course not." Deku paused. She heard him swallow and take a shaky breath. "Is Iida…? I didn't mean to hurt him, you know. I mean, I had orders, but I don't always follow them. It's not like they can stop me." Bakugou snorted lightly and shook his head. No, they couldn't. Deku was a hand grenade and the villains were holding the pin in after taking it out. "I knew I might have to hurt him, just not too much, but I– He wasn't moving. He didn't get up. He always gets up. He's stronger than that."

"I'm sorry, my boy." All Might put a hand over his face, shielding his eyes from them. "He didn't make it. He might've survived your attack, but when he struck the car–"

"No!" The sudden shout made Uraraka jump and slam a hand over her mouth to keep from making a sound. "No, you're just saying that to–to– I'm not going to fall for it. Kyōmu was right. You're lying to me."

"I wish I was," All Might said, his voice steady but streaked with grief. "He was your friend and he's gone. You have to accept this and your role in it."

"No, no, no, he's not gone. He can't be gone. What about Recovery Girl? How many times did she heal me when I repeatedly shattered and broke myself to please you – to become like you? How many times did she pick up the pieces of my body when I wasn't good enough for you?"

"Izuku, please–"

"She healed him, didn't she? He's fine! You're lying to me so I'll get upset and make a mistake or–or feel guilty or– I didn't do that. Don't tell me that I _killed_ him because I didn't!"

Even with his hand pressed against the table to steady himself, All Might couldn't hide the fact that he was shaking. Midnight rushed to pull a chair up behind to fall on. He was one of the strongest people Uraraka knew, but over a decade after the debilitating injury that forced him to search for an heir to One for All, his body was not nearly as strong as it had once been. Blood dribbled from the side of his mouth, but he didn't even bother wiping it away.

"I would never presume to tell you how you should feel," All Might said quietly while Deku continued to mutter hysterical reassurances to himself. "I would never try to trick or manipulate you into feeling a certain way. Your heart is your own. Listen to it and no one else, not even me."

"You–you're lying. He's not– He can't be– Iida…" Deku's voice trembled weakly as he cried. She could picture him wiping his eyes with the back of his arm as he sniffed pitifully. "It was supposed to be Kacchan. I was supposed to finally take Kacchan out of mine and Ochako's lives. We were gonna be happy."

All Might frowned. "Do you really think she would've been happy if you killed him instead?"

"I–I– He's in the way. He isn't good for her. I'm just trying to protect her. He's not a good hero. He's a fake and only hurts and uses people. She would've– She would've seen that after..."

"How did she react after you struck Iida instead?"

Deku choked on a sob. "She yelled at me. She didn't even want me near her, like she never wanted me to come close to her ever again. What did I–?" He made a strange garbled sound she didn't recognize. Was he laughing? Crying? "I've never seen her so upset. I did that. I hurt her. I _scared_ her. How can she–? Oh gods, she hates me, doesn't she? I–I don't…"

The urge to jump in and reassure Deku that she didn't hate him sprung inside of Uraraka, but… She didn't move. She didn't pull her hands away from her mouth or say a word. She didn't hate him, but she couldn't deny that she was upset. She _was_ angry with him. He _had_ hurt her. People tended to forget that, Deku aside, Iida had been her first friend at UA too. Maybe he hadn't meant to kill Iida, but killing Bakugou wouldn't have made it any better. She would've been just as furious and devastated.

Lying to him – placating him – would do them no good. It would only set them back. If he was terrified and upset over the idea that she might hate him, then all she could think was, _Good_.

He needed that fear instilled in him. If he believed he lost his future with her, everything he'd done might come crashing down on him. It would wound him deeply. It might shake everything to his core. Hell, it might even break him, but maybe that was what he needed in order to find himself. He'd broken himself repeatedly before to become the hero the world needed. She hated the idea of him doing it once more, but if that was what it took, then she couldn't afford to hold back and try to contain his pain. He needed to feel it. The truth hurt.

"Come home, Izuku," All Might told him gently. "We can work this out together."

"You don't mean that," Izuku said in a hollow tone. "You'll just lock me up and throw away the key. Make me give away One for All. That's what you're worried about, isn't it? Your precious quirk and the legacy you feel like you wasted on me. You don't care about me. It was never about me."

All Might slammed his other hand against the table, rattling the phone. "It has _always_ been about you – right from the start."

"I can't… I can't come home, can I? Not really. It's gone. Do you think Ochako will forgive me? I–I don't know if I…" Deku sighed, sounding thoroughly wrung him dry. All those conflicting emotions and competing memories must've drained him. "I have to see this through. If I don't, then what's the point? I have to fix things. I'll fix them. I'll make things better. I always do. I can still– I can still make her happy, right? She'll still love me?"

Uraraka closed her eyes, letting tears seep out from underneath her eyelids and down her cheeks. Deku sounded so hopeful, but even more scared, like a lost boy alone in the woods trying to find their way back.

"I don't know," All Might admitted.

"Of course not. You never understood–" Banging on Deku's end interrupted him. Uraraka snapped her eyes open and stood at attention. He must be in his room when someone knocked on his door. "Shit, I told them not to–" More banging interrupted them. Deku sniffed and then huffed irritably. "I told you to leave me alone! I don't–"

"I know, I know, I'm so sorry!" a distant but familiar feminine voice cut in. Ikeda was captured, so maybe it was Mizumi. Whoever it was, they were beyond frantic. "We need your help right now. I'm sorry. I didn't want to bother you, but we can't–"

Distant banging and shouting cut her off, but Uraraka couldn't understand what was being said. It was muffled, which meant it was outside his bedroom. Uraraka pictured the layout of their hideout as much as she could remember. There was a long hallway outside of his room, the right leading to the room where Kyōmu used his quirk and the left to the room where she'd watched Bakugou's interview with the media outside UA. What the hell was going on? Were the villains fighting each other?

"What is it?" Deku demanded, his demeanor gone cold.

"It's–"

"–fucking don't touch me! Don't! I swear to god I will fucking burn his ass to a crisp if he gets near me! I'll kill you all if you even think about forcing me!"

"Calm down!"

"Oh, I'll calm the fuck down as long as he stays far away. Fucking...digging around in my head like that! Fuck!"

Uraraka knew that voice, although she'd never heard him scream so violently before. Dabi. Something had gone terribly wrong on the villains' side. There was a lot of infighting between villain organizations and sometimes within their own group. Dabi hadn't been known for being friendly toward villains before, having killed dozens of them while with the original League, but this sounded more personal.

Todoroki told them Kyōmu had messed with both his and Dabi's minds. He'd made them believe they were closer in their youth than they were, maybe in hopes it would convince Todoroki to join them or make his transition smoother. If he trusted not one but two people in their group, it would make him easier to turn. Plus, even without Kyōmu's quirk, they shared similar trauma due to their father's upbringing and training. Dabi hadn't been stable before, but with his memories tampered with and the fallout from Endeavor's death…

"Please, Deku, he's losing it and hurting himself–"

"Yeah, yeah, go ahead and get your golden boy! Because he's so much more rational than me right now!" Someone yelped in pain. "I said to get your fucking hands off me!"

Deku let out an annoyed growl. "Fine. I'll deal with it. Get out of here."

Listening patiently before, All Might took his chance to jump into the conversation. "Izuku, what's going on?"

"I have to go."

"Wait, don't–"

"Tell Ochako I'm sorry. Tell her..." Deku hesitated. "Oh, she knows."

All Might snatched the phone and shouted, "Izuku–" right when Uraraka jumped forward and a single, "No!" slipped from her, but it was too late. Deku hung up. When All Might tried to call back, it didn't go through. He must've turned the phone off and tossed it to the side the second he ended the call – maybe even destroyed it for good measure so no one would know what he'd done.

No one spoke for a solid minute as they processed the call. It was painful to listen to Deku crying and reaching out to All Might even as he shoved him away. Hearing him switch so coldly at least told her something had changed. It hadn't been the way he would switch before. No, those emotions were genuine, even if he was confused about what he was feeling or what happened. Not to mention whatever was going down with the villains sounded even worse than the heroes.

"Well," Shinsou interrupted the silence in his typical deadpan, "that was enlightening."

"Midoriya was all over the place," Midnight said. "Could the repeated use of the quirk be causing it?"

"No shit," Bakugou grunted.

Shinsou hummed thoughtfully, undeterred by the interjection. "From what I gathered in Todoroki's interviews, it sounds like the quirk needs repeated use until a certain point or it'll become unstable. Its hold is a lot stronger on Midoriya, but even then, like how Uraraka's words and Endeavor's behavior contradicted Todoroki's manipulated memories, Iida's death and Uraraka's subsequent rejection of Deku chipped through the illusion."

He was trying to be methodical on purpose in order to remain objective, but the casual mention of Iida made Uraraka's knees buckle. She returned to the couch, scared she might collapse if her heart was forced to take another blow. Shinsou took a moment to gather himself, meeting Uraraka's eyes with an apologetic glance before looking away. Bakugou watched her but said nothing. They had still been trying to accept what happened to Iida before Deku called and shook things up.

"Dabi did react strangely after Endeavor's death," Uraraka added.

"Todoroki was able to break free from the quirk after he accomplished the goal put in his head," Shinsou said, "or he was easier to get through to once he realized things didn't match up."

Bakugou scoffed. "Great. All I have to do is die and we can get Deku back."

Shinsou tossed him a sideways, blank look over his shoulder. "We could always fake your death."

"Very funny."

"Naomasa called while you two were with Todoroki." All Might gripped his phone tightly. "He gave me the name of the man who started: Takami Yoshida. He was a therapist before becoming a villain. How can a man with a career helping people change into someone who hurts them and breaks them down?"

"That...makes sense actually," Shinsou said. "I had a feeling this wasn't what his quirk was initially used for. I don't know. You know, like how we're able to develop different, creative uses for our quirks? Maybe he stumbled across it somehow, like during a session." It was hard to say until Naomasa came back with a more detailed file on Takami. They would have his actual quirk registered, along with a description of it, and hopefully a paper trail that gave them an idea of his personal life and what might've turned him to villainy. Shinsou rubbed the back of his neck. "It sounds like a combination of hypnosis and brainwashing, but if he's not used to using his quirk this way, there's a chance something is going wrong after constant use."

"If Dabi is going nuclear, there's no saying what will happen if Deku does," Bakugou muttered.

The thought was terrifying. They had seen what All Might was capable of at one hundred percent, but One for All was even stronger in Deku's hands. Years ago, she saw him go past what they thought was the full potential to defeat All for One, but he'd been controlled then. Had he been in control or out of it when he moved to make the final blow on Bakugou and hit Iida instead? Would he have been able to restrain himself at the last second if he was in the right state of mind?

Uraraka wrapped her arms around herself. "I know I need to think about what to do, but I can't. I can't just sit here and not think about Iida." Her lips trembled, but no tears came to her eyes. "I can't focus. I'm sorry. You must think I'm useless right now."

Midnight squeezed her shoulder. "Not at all. We can't expect you to simply gloss over what happened. It wouldn't be healthy."

"Can't wait for the therapy after this," Bakugou drawled dryly. "Oh wait."

"Stop it," Uraraka snapped.

An abashed expression crossed Bakugou's face before he looked down at his shoes. Although he didn't apologize out loud, she saw him mouth the words, _I'm sorry._ She nodded in acceptance. He wasn't being callous on purpose to be rude or mean; he was trying to cope with the news and the phone call as much as her, just in a different way. He deflected and pretended not to care, but the pain in his eyes said something different. If he crossed the line for even a second, he would likely explode and he didn't want to do that in front of everyone else.

"He called me," All Might said, half to himself. "He called me in his time of need and I can't help but feel like I failed him again. I struggled as his teacher in the beginning. I could've done so much more for him." He rubbed the bottom half of his face, finally wiping the blood from it. "He _called_ me. That has to count for something, right?"

"What if the idea was put in his head to cause you more torment or bring you out into the open?" Aizawa asked. The faint hopeful look on All Might's face dropped.

Bakugou swore viciously. "I'm so sick of all these fucking mind games. We can't even trust our own instincts. I hate this. Even the shit that might be good could be something bad in disguise. I fucking–" Small explosions rumbled from his hands, reminiscent of their times at UA when he lost his temper, but then his arm twitched. Using his quirk still hurt. He turned his back to them so they couldn't see his face. "I hate it. Iida was a better hero and person. Todoroki is better. Deku was… He _deserved_ so much more than this bullshit."

Uraraka sank into the couch. Didn't they all? She wanted to hope this was the start of something – that this spiral the call implied meant there was a chance – but honestly, she was afraid to hope right now. She didn't know if she could handle another crash to a painful reality. She was supposed to be a hero – she was supposed to be strong – but even the strongest heroes had their limits. She wasn't impervious or impenetrable. Who was she but a hero not even in the top twenty? How could she stack up against all of this?

She could only carry so much weight.

* * *

After speaking with All Might and the others for a little longer, Uraraka excused herself from the room. They were doing their best to comfort one another, but she needed a moment alone to breathe. She ducked into the nearest bathroom to splash water on her face and try to wash away the tears. When she caught her reflection in the mirror, she gripped the edge of the sink and stared at herself.

She looked like hell: hair in desperate need of a brush, bags under her puffy eyes, cheeks pinker than normal. Even worse, she looked heartbroken. It was one thing to feel it, but she hated the way it permeated the lines of her face so no one would miss it. She rubbed her face with the heel of her hand, trying to put some liveliness in it, but it did very little to help. And she thought Aizawa and Shinsou always came off as exhausted. She looked and felt like she could sleep for days.

Not that she wanted to sleep. She'd only have nightmares. Uraraka didn't want to cry herself to sleep tonight, but she was so very tired of holding everything in and being strong for everyone to see. It wasn't fair to her. She should be allowed to be weak every once in a while - to feel things to their fullest instead of shoving them aside to deal with later.

Unable to do anything else to fix her appearance, Uraraka smoothed her hair and clothes down and then returned to the room. The others had left, leaving only All Might and Bakugou inside. With the door shut, she couldn't hear what All Might was saying to him, but judging by the hard look on Bakugou's face, it was something emotional he didn't want to deal with but had to anyway. When All Might rested a hand on Bakugou's shoulder, he flinched slightly but didn't jerk away like he most likely wanted. He stood his ground and let All Might comfort him, if only because it helped him in return.

Uraraka leaned against the wall so she couldn't see them. This was a private moment. All Might had meant the world to Deku, but he was also an incredibly important figure and role model in Bakugou's own life for different reasons. They had a complicated history themselves, what with the kidnapping and Kamino Incident, but it had made a significant impact on Bakugou. Even if he didn't always act it, he respected the hell out of All Might. Seeing him deteriorate after Deku's death had hit Bakugou hard. He hadn't known what to do to help or if there was anything he could do.

The handle clicked, signaling the door was opening, and Uraraka straightened. It was only Bakugou, who paused the second he saw her. She allowed her shoulders to drop. She didn't have to keep up pretenses with him. He knew she was done.

"What do you want to do?" Bakugou asked.

Uraraka had no idea, but she said the first thing that popped into her head. "I just want to go home."

"Okay."

And that was it. No questions asked, no arguing, no trying to tell her what to do. She was tired, but how put out was he to not even fight a little? Was it a good idea to go back there? Probably not. Would it hurt? Like hell. But she wanted to lay down in her own bed, the one she'd shared with Deku, the one she let swallow her when her pain and loneliness felt like too much, the one that brought her comfort in the light of the morning after a bad night. She wanted something familiar and known.

A passing Present Mic offered to give them a ride, but Bakugou had already called for a cab. To be honest, she was a little grateful. While she loved her old teacher and he would be respectful if she didn't want to talk, she didn't want to be around someone that knew her life well enough to pity her even more. What must everyone think of her? Poor, little Ochako – the love of her life died a hero and came back a villain, hellbent on killing his childhood friend out of jealousy. How sad. It was an exaggeration, but it was one she couldn't get out of her head whenever someone glanced her way.

The ride to her apartment was silent except for the radio. People discussing the destruction of Endeavor's agency and the clean up could be heard from up front. A part of her wanted to ask the driver to turn it over, but another part of her didn't care. No one talking about it had been there. They spoke with a clinical tone, describing the work being done to repair the street and what to do with the building. By now, the ice holding up the top half had melted away, but they'd used the time given to them to deal with it so no one else was injured. She didn't know how and she didn't care right now, tuning out the voices.

Upon reaching her place, they got out of the car, but didn't move toward the stairs. The two of them stared up at the building side-by-side. The last time she'd been in this position with him was on Deku's birthday. She'd been pleasantly drunk, not so much that she would regret it but enough to dull the senses. Bakugou had carried her up the stairs when she slumped against him and complained about being tired. She wondered if he would do that now if she leaned into him. He was tired and still recovering from Recovery Girl's quirk, but he would. He'd lift her right off the ground.

Asking something like that of him wasn't fair at all. Asking him to be here wasn't fair, but she didn't want to be alone either. She could be selfish, couldn't she?

Without waiting any further, Uraraka wordlessly made her way up the stairs to her apartment, Bakugou following behind her. She glanced at the security camera that had taken Deku's cheerful picture the morning he came back to life and then unlocked her door. It was a stuffy and warm inside from no one being around for a few weeks (well, besides the villain and Iida who came to get clothes), but everything looked exactly as she'd left it the night she was here with Todoroki and Tsu. She flicked on a light, getting her bearings straight, and then waited patiently as Bakugou checked to make sure it was clear.

"Anything?" Uraraka asked when Bakugou returned to the living room.

He shook his head. "No, everything looks fine. Locked up, undisturbed, empty."

Ah, so just like she felt then.

"Thank you."

Uraraka slid off her shoes and put them in the hallway by the door like always. Bakugou didn't move from where he stood, watching her with a guarded expression. She didn't know what to do. Go to bed? Take a shower? Plop down on the couch and cry? She couldn't make up her damn mind, not even about what she wanted him to do. Did she actually want him to leave? Did she want him to stay? And not just on the couch with a door separating them like that night, but actually with her. How badly did she not want to be alone? How hurt was she? Grief, anger, and emptiness fought for dominance inside her, leaving her unable to come up with a single answer.

Luckily for her, Bakugou was willing to make the first move. "I'll call someone–"

"Stay."

Bakugou hesitated. He never hesitated. "Uraraka…"

"I'm really tired, Bakugou." And not just in the exhausted sense.

"I know," he said quietly.

"I'm tired of losing. I'm tired of being strong. I'm tired of pretending like...like there's nothing going on. Like I have to shove everything aside and focus on this one thing. Because that's what a hero would do. That's what Deku would do." Uraraka rubbed her eyes and sniffed. "But I'm not Deku. I'm not selfless like him, which is why this whole thing is so messed up even more."

The moment Bakugou opened his arms, Uraraka stepped into them, wrapping her arms around him and pressing her face into his chest. It was completely selfish – this was probably a mistake – but she didn't care. Hot tears threatened to leak from her eyes, but she wiped them away on his shirt. He could complain about it later if he wanted, although it would only be a way to deflect the seriousness of the situation. He held onto her tightly, propping his chin on top of her head. How many times had she wanted him to hold her like this – to hold him like this – but they always held back? Touching him hadn't seemed like a big deal before until Deku made it one.

It wasn't fair. He had been gone from her life for almost a year. She couldn't have known he would come back. As much as she wanted to act like she would only be loyal to Deku even after his death, Todoroki was right. She had every right to move on. She hadn't, not entirely, but she could have and it would've been fine. It was totally unfair of Deku to assume she would wait for him when she fully believed he was dead. Had he truly thought she should be alone for the rest of her life?

No, her Deku wouldn't think that. If their positions were reversed, maybe he would throw himself into his hero work and cut himself off from others, but she knew he wouldn't have wanted that for her. She knew because when he first asked her to dance back in high school, she hesitated. She had put her crush on him behind her and didn't want it distracting her. He apologized for not realizing his feelings sooner and then taking too long to act on them – that he'd understand if she said no and never begrudge her for it.

What would her life be had she turned him down that night? Would any of this be happening or would she have simply gone on to live a life without him? Was it any better than what things had become?

"I was an ass today," Bakugou mumbled, his chest rumbling as he spoke. "I didn't know how to react to the news and I acted out like a total idiot."

"It's okay," Uraraka sighed. "You were coping like the rest of us."

"No, it's not okay," Bakugou ground out. "Nothing is okay. Half of what I did isn't okay."

Uraraka pulled her face away from his chest and let go of him. She slid her hands up and cupped his face, forcing him to look down at her. "You're better than this too. I know you are." She stroked her thumb over his stubbled cheek. He'd need to shave unless he wanted to get a shadow. She'd only ever seen him clean-shaven, but she imagined his stubble was as rough as his personality. "You told Todoroki not to blame himself. Don't go doing the same thing. You're too good for that."

"I'm not," Bakugou insisted, the words sounding like they were being torn out of him. "I'm really not. If I was…" He pressed her against him with one hand on the small of her back while he lifted the other to touch her face. A shaky breath escaped him. "I'm really not that strong."

"Do we always have to be?" Uraraka asked in a whisper.

"Yes." His voice was hoarse, but he stared into her eyes, demanding answers from her. Telling her to warn him back, begging her to push him away, asking her to tell him he was wrong. She did no such things. "Tell me to stop, Uraraka."

"No. Aren't you tired too?"

Bakugou didn't say a word, but the look in his eyes said it all. Yes, he was tired. Yes, he was sick of pretending. Yes, he was done with acting like he didn't feel anything. Why couldn't they discard everything hanging over their heads, if only for a moment? Why couldn't they be selfish when they had been fighting and struggling to simply live and do what was right for a year?

Uraraka didn't hesitate any longer. She stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against Bakugou's.

The only person she had kissed since high school was Deku. She knew him like the back of her hand even now after only kissing him twice in a year. Bakugou was unfamiliar territory, but it didn't feel wrong either. His lips were slightly chapped and he was altogether warmer. She expected him to be rough, but he was tentative, almost gentle, like he was perhaps afraid of scaring her off. This was new for him too. She could feel it in the tense way he held his body against hers that he was restraining himself.

It wasn't the sweet kiss that people dreamed of or the happy one most imagined. Tears pricked at Uraraka's eyes even as she kept them shut. When emotion welled inside of her, instead of shutting it down like she had before, she let it consume her. She was sick of acting like nothing affected her – like he didn't affect her – and so she didn't. She deepened the kiss, practically demanding him to follow suit. He sucked in a gasp of air before pushing her against him and sliding his fingers through her hair to cup the back of her head.

She poured everything she had into him – her fear, sadness, anger, hope, desire. Everything she felt like she'd been holding back for a month, she gave to him in this moment.

What was the point in holding back? She could tell Deku over and over again that she was his, but that had hurt more than it helped. It hadn't mattered anyway. He was still being mentally manipulated to believe Bakugou needed to be killed to get him out of the way. Besides, it wasn't fair that she had to isolate herself to appease him when he'd been dead for nearly a year. It wasn't fair that he had brought these feelings up to the forefront when they weren't ready and then made her feel ashamed to feel anything at all that wasn't for him.

She had been alone. She had pushed her friends away. She had been an island and a damn good hero. She had acted like she was okay even when she wasn't.

It wasn't fair. Shouldn't she live her life too? How many times had Iida told her she didn't have to be alone? How many times had she smiled and told him he was right? How many times had she turned down his offer for lunch or dinner? How many times had he come over with a healthy home-cooked meal and her favorite dessert, so determined to make sure she was actually taking care of herself? Bakugou pulled her out into the light, Todoroki helped her mourn and move on in the dark, and Tsu reminded her that she was still a hero and good person, but it was Iida who always made sure she was simply okay. He didn't expect her to be good or great, just okay enough to breathe.

And now he was gone and she didn't know if things were going to be okay. She didn't know if she wanted to get out of bed, if she could handle taking a shower without huddling in the corner, if she could step out of this apartment and face a new morning. She was so scared moving on wouldn't be an option this time. He was gone and she hadn't been able to say goodbye. She hadn't saved him. Hadn't they promised to always have each other's backs?

In high school, everyone knew Deku would rise to the top, but she always admired and looked to Iida for advice the most. What would he tell her to do now? What would he say? Would he tell her she was making a mistake? Buckle up and focus on the objective? Allow herself to feel so she didn't blow up or have a meltdown? Would he allow himself to be so weak? She clung to Bakugou and kissed him like her life depended on it, begging him to pull her out of this hollow fog she'd been in for weeks.

"Wait, Uraraka–" Bakugou's lips moved against hers, his breath hot. She chased them, pushing him back, and he kissed her again, a low growl in his chest, but then stopped. "We need to– We need to stop."

The second he pulled away from her, Uraraka instantly missed his touch. He was so close to chasing every other thought away. He leaned his forehead against hers as he panted. Only when his breath brushed over her face did she feel the tears on her cheeks. Oh, she'd started to cry while kissing him. She hadn't even realized it. His body trembled underneath her hands.

"I'm–I'm sorry, Bakugou," Uraraka stammered. "I didn't mean– I'm sorry. I shouldn't have–"

"Don't apologize," he cut in, his voice like sandpaper. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I wasn't thinking clearly and I just wanted something good and to forget pretending like I didn't feel anything, but I shouldn't have pushed that on you and–"

"Didn't I say not to apologize?" Bakugou pulled back to look her in the eyes. "You didn't push anything on me. I've been wanting to do that for a while, trust me." He sighed and loosened his grip on her. "But it isn't right – not like this. You're upset, scared, and angry – and I'm _here_ , but this isn't what you want." Her gaze hardened, but before she could argue with him, he added, "It isn't what I want. It isn't fair to either of us and I hate that."

Uraraka couldn't argue with that. While she couldn't deny kissing him felt good, now that they were out of the moment, she recognized it for what it was: a distraction. Shame flared in Uraraka's gut, but he shook his head as if sensing how she felt. He wasn't upset with her. She took a deep breath and relaxed her shoulders. At the very least, all the pent up emotions inside of her were spent and now her mind was quiet.

"Besides, Iida wouldn't approve," Bakugou said, letting go of her. His strangely flippant tone was enough to catch her attention. "You know what he'd do? Flap his arms around like a robot and tell us this isn't a healthy way for us to express our emotions." He waved his arm in a jerky manner reminiscent of Iida. "He'd want us to _talk_ about them – like rational people or whatever."

Despite herself, a watery laugh tumbled from her over Bakugou acting like Iida. "He was afraid I was holding everything in, so he'd volunteered to talk about his feelings first. He could go on for hours."

"Ugh, he tried to do the same thing with me." Bakugou paused, the faint smirk fading from his face. "I always hung up on him."

Uraraka laid a hand on his arm. "Hey, he never took it personally. You know that, right? He would extend a hand to help, but he didn't expect you to take it. The offer was always on the table. That's what was important to him: for you to know he was there for you if or whenever you needed him."

Bakugou swallowed. Even now, he didn't want to talk about how he felt, but she didn't push the matter. He needed to talk, but honestly, she didn't think she was the best person for it. She was too involved. He needed someone a little removed to completely open up to about this.

"He's really gone, isn't he?" Bakugou mumbled. "What are they going to do with the Ingenium agency? He just officially took over in November." He rubbed his forehead. "His sister is a hero, isn't she? He kept talking about her at Yaoyorozu's birthday party because Kaminari gave him some really strong, fruity drink."

"Yeah, his other brother decided not to go the hero route…" Uraraka took her hand from his arm and wrapped her arms around herself. "I don't know. After so many transitions, there's a chance it could be closed. News hasn't been released yet, but I'm sure his family knows."

Uraraka could still remember being there when Inko was told the news about Deku's death. She couldn't sleep for a full day after that, replaying the moment over and over again, his mother's pained sobs and pleas echoing in her mind. Every time she closed her eyes, all she could picture was Inko weakly beating All Might's chest, crying, begging.

 _"_ _Not my boy, not my Izuku."_

She couldn't imagine anything more painful than a parent losing their child. She didn't like to compare grief, but Uraraka knew Izuku's death had broken Inko down more than her. On the opposite end, Rei managed to handle the news about Todoroki's kidnapping as well as she could, holding out her strength for her children, but then they more or less knew he was alive. Judging from the shocked, silent tears on the woman's face at the hospital, she'd already gone through the pain of believing she lost her oldest son.

Now Iida's parents would have the same pain dropped into their lives. Poor Tensei. She'd never seen a prouder older brother. His speech when Iida took over the agency brought tears to Deku's eyes.

Bakugou took a step back, putting distance between them again. Although a part of her wanted to bridge the gap, it wasn't a good idea. Using him to fill a void and distract them from their pain wasn't right. It didn't take away the undetermined and indescribable things she felt toward him, but then they hadn't been strong enough yet for her to pinpoint. They had still been in a fledgling stage where they sat right on the edge when Deku had forced them to surface out of jealousy. Now that they were here, underdeveloped and out in the open, she didn't know what to do with them but push them aside where they could either grow or die. Either way, something had brewed inside of them, begging for a chance to be released.

It simply wasn't the right time.

"Get some rest," Bakugou told her in a gruff, distant tone. She shouldn't be hurt by the thought that he was pushing her away, not when he was protecting himself. That impenetrable wall of his was back up, one she didn't have the energy to scale. "I'll call Asui. She can come over. You shouldn't be alone."

"What about you?"

Bakugou ran his fingers through his messy hair. "I don't know. Maybe I'll call Kirishima, go over to his place." Yes, that was a great idea. He could talk to his best friend about how he felt, just like she could talk openly to Asui and be told the blunt truth she needed to hear sometimes. "We haven't talked much since you and Todoroki were taken, but then again, so much has happened. It's like the damn world turned on its end twice."

"It's weird," Uraraka said, sweeping a hand to gesture around her apartment. "It all looks the same in here like it did the night of Deku's birthday, but everything's changed." She dropped her hand. "I'm surprised you didn't argue about me coming back here."

"He knew about the first safehouse," Bakugou pointed out. They hadn't been at the second one for long, but there was no telling how they'd been breached. "If he wanted to get you then, he would have. I honestly don't know what he has in mind now, but...I don't think he'll force you to do anything you don't want to do. He didn't take you until you asked him. He didn't push himself onto you. I think he'd rather you come to him once this is over."

"Is it going to be over?"

"Soon," Bakugou said darkly, "one way or another."

So he felt it too. Deku's spiraling over the phone made it feel like things were coming to an end. She wasn't sure how much longer he could take going under that quirk before he broke. Either he would be too far gone to save or they would bring him back into the light. She didn't even know if they could manage the latter without someone else dying. Iida's death clearly sent him to the edge, but she was afraid of what might happen if he fell once more. Would he be lost to those dark, choppy waters forever? She was afraid to find out, but it was coming, whether she liked it or not.

Uraraka slipped into her bedroom to change into pajamas while Bakugou called Tsu and Kirishima. Everything was just as she'd left it besides the clothes taken out of her dresser. She took her time, easing herself into the clothes and then sitting at the foot of the bed for a few minutes. Before she left her bedroom, she wandered over to the window and tugged on it, but it was locked. Bakugou got on her about it so many times, but she'd never considered it while Deku was here.

When she returned to the living room, Bakugou was standing at the main window, hands buried in his pockets. It instantly took her back to the night where Todoroki and Tsu guarded her. She easily pictured Todoroki standing to the side of the window, his body slightly tired as he peered through the blinds into the street. The blinds were open now, moonlight pooling into the room and washing over Bakugou. As much as she wanted to ask him what he was thinking, she didn't think she had to, if only because she knew what was on her mind.

Somewhere out there, Deku was cracking under the stress of the quirk and what he'd done and they had no idea what way he would swing. Either way could be devastating. If he buried himself further into the illusion of the quirk, he would destroy so much and the only way Bakugou would live was if he left. If he accepted what he was doing was wrong, he would either do what he could to fix things or shatter completely. The chance for a happy ending at this point wasn't even realistic, but Deku would still hold out hope, wouldn't he?

"What's going on in your head, Deku?" Bakugou muttered to himself. "What are you gonna do to end this?"

She didn't know. So far, Deku had somehow proven both predictable _and_ unpredictable. They mostly knew what he wanted, but it didn't make sense half the time and he used unconventional methods. They should've been used to that by now. He had always been strategically creative. It was a part of what made him such an incredible hero and a dangerous villain.

When Tsu finally arrived, Bakugou gruffly thanked her. He hesitated, but then closed the gap between him and Uraraka, hugging her and pressing a tentative kiss to the top of her head. She wanted to say something that might ease the tension in his body, but there was nothing she could think of. Instead, she gave him a tremulous smile and mumbled goodbye. He gazed at her for a beat, his eyes unreadable as he reigned himself in, and then walked out the door.

"He told me the news," Tsu quietly croaked. It was different from her usual voice. She'd been crying. "Did you want to talk about it?"

Uraraka bit her lip. "Can we…? Can we talk about some good memories of him? Things that made us smile or laugh." She wiped her eyes. "I just want to remember him right now."

Tsu stepped forward to grasp Uraraka's hands. "Of course, ribbit. That would be nice."

She didn't want to think about the way his body hung limp in her hands, the sound he made when he struck the car, him screaming Deku's name, or the way he wouldn't respond to her. She wanted to think about his smile, his boisterous laugh, his intense and serious expressions that sometimes made her giggle, the passion he'd carried as he did all things in his life. She wanted to remember memories like him carrying her on his back so they could win a team race or how she had a hand in turning him into Emergency Exit Iida. All she wanted was to reminisce about a boy who became one of her closest and respected friends.

Was that too much to ask?

* * *

"Pst, Ochako, are you awake?"

"Mmph, I am now."

"Sorry." She can hear the grin in his voice and rolls over to see it on his face. He isn't really sorry, but she doesn't mind, not when he looks so sweet.

A quick glance at the clock tells her she's been asleep for a little over an hour, but judging from the alert glimmer in his green eyes, he hasn't slept yet. Has he been lying awake next to her this whole time? He does that sometimes, even when he needs the rest, his brain simply refusing to shut down. It's best to distract him when he's like that, but every now and then, he's able to hide it from her so he doesn't bother her or keep her awake when she's tired.

He's always been so considerate of others that he often forgets about himself and that others might like to take care of him too.

"Can't sleep?" she asks.

"I was just thinking," he says as if he's not always thinking.

"And?"

Deku turns on his side to face her. "Well, most kids inherit a branch off or combination of their parents – unless they're quirkless, of course – but I've got One for All. We know Shigaraki's quirk was a mutation and his father's quirk was a variation of his father's, not Nana Shimura's." He's rambling, but she doesn't interrupt him. It's easier to let him run the course until he gets to the point where his mouth catches up with his brain. "I was wondering what quirks our kids might have."

Uraraka chokes on her tongue. "Our–our kids?"

"Yeah, would they take after you or me since I was born quirkless or something else entirely?" Deku continues, oblivious to the blush rising in her cheeks. "Maybe the mutation in Shimura's bloodline was caused by One for All since it's passed through DNA. We don't know if any of the other One for All users had children, but–" He blinks, noticing the way Uraraka clammed up, and his face turns red. "Not–not that I'm ready to have kids or anything! We aren't even married! Not that I've considered marriage – uh, I mean, not that you aren't marriage material because I love you a lot and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but kids, wow, that would be something when we're so busy–"

The second Uraraka presses her gloved hands against his cheeks, Deku goes silent. "It's okay."

 _Is it?_ Sure, she thought about kids before, but then their careers got in the way. She isn't so disillusioned that she doesn't know Deku's rise to become the next Symbol of Peace isn't an all-consuming goal that takes precedence over everything else, herself included. Do they have time for children? Would it really be fair of them to bring a child into a world where they can't afford to make them their top responsibility? Maybe not right now – they're still young – but she doesn't want to wait until it's too late either.

"It's interesting to think about," Uraraka tells him.

Deku nods. "But we're definitely not ready yet."

She'll be ready before him, but he was so excited before that she doesn't want to burst his bubble. He's so great with kids. Given the time, he would be a great father. He _will_ be. She smiles and teases–

* * *

A car horn startled Uraraka awake. She sucked in a gasp of air and then froze, her eyes locked on the ceiling. Once her heartbeat returned to normal, she relaxed in bed and glanced at the clock on the bedside table. Four am. So she'd been asleep for almost three hours. No wonder her body still felt exhausted, even if her mind was sprinting. After sitting on the couch simply talking with Tsu about her favorite memories surrounding Iida, she shuffled off to bed while Tsu did a perimeter check.

She'd forgotten about that conversation. Of course, since it was a dream, it hadn't happened exactly like that. They'd had it over lunch at the restaurant she still frequented in her neighborhood. She'd asked him what he was going to order and he blurted that out instead. It had been a long time since Deku made her blush that much, not since maybe high school. He could be so oblivious about how strange his mind worked.

Instead of making her terribly sad, Uraraka smiled faintly. That was the Deku she loved, not this version. She could admit that now. She did love him, but this wasn't him, no matter what Kyōmu said. He might be making his own decisions, but Kyōmu was the one pushing him to choose.

With the memory fresh in her mind, sleep felt like a foreign concept. If anything, after crying so much, she needed to rehydrate. She slipped out of bed and tiptoed into the living room, making sure she didn't make too much noise so she wouldn't disturb Tsu asleep on the couch. After much debate, Uraraka convinced her best friend to sleep. She'd come over immediately after a fourteen-hour shift and needed the rest. Even if they were attacked, exhaustion would hamper her more than surprise.

After downing a glass of water and gently setting it in the sink, Uraraka made her way back to the bedroom. She might not be able to fall back asleep, but it wouldn't hurt to lay down. Her mind would eventually give in. It didn't run like Deku's or even Bakugou's. She shut the door as softly as she could and turned around, only to stare at her curtains blowing in the wind from the open window.

A hand slipped over her mouth and someone grabbed her from behind before she could react. Panic shot through her, and she reached up to touch her attacker's arm when a voice hissed, "Stop! It's me!" and she stilled, her pinky finger held up as she gripped a forearm tightly. The familiar voice in her ear didn't stop her heart from beating wildly in her chest. If anything, it only made it worse. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. It's rude of me to barge in on you like this, I know, but I...I had to see you and I didn't want to wake Tsu."

Deku. Deku was in her bedroom. They had thought he wouldn't show up here or bother her until he completed his goals – if his mind didn't break from the quirk – but they were wrong. Maybe the conditioning he'd gone through under the quirk made it impossible for him to ignore her for long anymore. No, he held off before. Maybe Kyōmu had reinforced his possessive behavior? Maybe he couldn't leave her be. He had to have her. She didn't know and, honestly, it scared her.

"If I let go of you, are you going to scream?" Deku asked. "I...really don't want to fight right now."

He should've thought of that before he broke into her (their) apartment for a second time, but seeing as how she didn't want to fight him either, Uraraka nodded. He took a deep breath and then lifted his hand from her mouth. He kept his arm around her waist for a few more seconds before letting go of her and fully stepping away, giving her the space she needed. It wasn't enough.

"How did you–?"

"The window wasn't actually locked, only jammed so you probably thought it was," Deku explained sheepishly. She turned around to face him. He looked away from her and rubbed the back of his neck. "It was like that when we moved in. I thought you knew."

"No, I didn't." Had she ever been safe? "What are you doing here, Deku?"

The question was valid, but her tone was flat enough to make Deku flinch. After his frantic call to All Might earlier, she hadn't been sure what he would be like when she saw him again. Watching him visibly deflate, his shoulders sagging and his arm dropping to his side, certainly wasn't what she'd pictured and yet… It matched her suspicions. He wasn't angry, jealous, or out of control. He was _sad_.

"I had to see you," he mumbled.

"That can't be it."

"I–I had to find out–" Deku furrowed his brow, but kept his eyes on the ground. "I had to know if you hated me. Because if you do, then I don't know what I'm supposed to do. No, that's not right. I don't know if it's worth trying to–trying to do something. I don't know." He winced and rubbed his head. "It's hard. I know what I'm supposed to do – I know how I'm supposed to feel – but nothing will feel right without you and I don't–I don't–"

Uraraka took a deep breath. "I don't hate you, Deku."

His eyes shot up to hers, but they weren't hopeful like she expected. "But you don't love me either."

"I do love you, Deku," Uraraka insisted. "I will always love you. How could I not?" She gave him a helpless gesture. "But I can't love you like this. I can't...be with you when you're like this. You know that, don't you?" He stared at her, his eyes blank. Did he know? Was he still trying to cling to that fantasy? "What you're doing… What you've done… That's not who I fell in love with."

"Is it Kacchan? I won't be upset with you if it is." Considering that Deku had sworn to kill Bakugou for ruining his youth and stealing her away, she didn't believe him, but he sounded so earnest. Even now, it was like she couldn't believe he would lie to her. Everything he said, he genuinely believed. "I...I understand now, I think. Shouto was right. It was my mistake for not fighting to see you sooner. I let you think I was dead for too long. I put the mission in front of me again, like I always did with you. I took your love for granted and I shouldn't have done that."

"No," Uraraka said, shaking her head, "it's not Bakugou." She pressed a hand over her heart. "It's me. This is how I feel. This is my life, my choice." She gripped the front of her shirt. "It could've been him. It could've been Shouto or Iida or someone completely new that I hadn't met yet. I don't know. What I do know is that, regardless of how I feel about him, this" – she gestured with her finger to them both – "has nothing to do with him."

Deku didn't say a word. He gazed at her for a while before nodding and leaning back against the dresser. A few of the drawers were empty now. She packed his clothes around six months after his death, but ended up putting them in storage instead of giving them away. She kept a few of his dumb t-shirts that she loved so much to wear herself, but after washing them so many times, they didn't feel like they were his anymore. Nothing here was really his, not even the bed they'd shared.

"It's over then, isn't it?" Deku said quietly.

"That depends on you, doesn't it?" Uraraka countered.

He laughed wetly. "I was an idiot, thinking we could– that you would–" He put a hand over his face, shielding his eyes, but she saw the tears slide out from underneath his hand and down his cheeks. "I've lost everyone, haven't I? Even if I do accomplish what we set out to do, you won't be there in the end. Shouto… He didn't truly betray me, but I know we'll never be on the same side again. And Iida…" His lips trembled. "And–and Iida is gone because of me… I really am a villain, aren't I?"

"Deku…" Uraraka reached out to him, but then hesitated and let her arm drop.

"Was this all for nothing? Was I–was I wrong the whole time? Everything I did… I could've sworn I was doing it for you, but now I don't know. I don't know if what I did was even what I wanted."

"The man I loved wouldn't have done these things," Uraraka told him, refusing to be gentle. He needed to hear the truth. The time for placating was over. If he got mad, then he got mad. "He wouldn't have let his best friend get tortured and put him in the position to betray everything he'd done to move on from his past trauma. You helped dredge it all up again and for what? So you wouldn't be alone?"

Deku grit his teeth so tightly that she could almost hear them grind, but he only held his hand over his face even more, his fingers digging into his temples. "I thought it would help him. I thought he'd feel better. After being hurt by a man he should've been able to trust – after having so much taken away from him – I thought he deserved to take something back."

"Kyōmu took even more from him!" Uraraka hissed furiously. He flinched, but still didn't look at her. "He's lost, Deku. He's lost and afraid and I'm scared he's going to give up entirely. I don't know how to help him. He didn't want to do any of that. He asked me to kill him before they could turn him, but I couldn't–I couldn't save him. You should've known Shouto would never want to hurt innocent people just to get revenge." She softened, if only for a moment. "What do you think is going to happen if you get what you think you want?"

"I don't know…." Deku murmured.

"Imagine it," Uraraka demanded. "Beyond what you think you know or feel or remember – beyond the voice in your head telling you that you need or want to do these things. If you killed Bakugou, would it make you any happier?"

"Maybe, yes, I–I think so. I don't know… No, yes, it would. It has to–"

"The fact that you don't know should tell you this is wrong." Uraraka grasped his arms to still his shaking body. He did so, but she could feel all the tension in his muscles, like a coiled spring ready to burst. "Don't go back. Stay here, please. Whatever you think you have to do – whatever Kyōmu or the League wants you to do – you don't have to do it. If even one thing feels wrong, trust that."

Deku licked his lips and dropped his hand from his face to look her in the eyes. "If I do that, then I admit that everything I did was wrong. I can't do that. I've got a purpose – a responsibility – to end this corrupt society, even at the cost of myself."

"No, no, you don't–"

"Iida is–" Deku swallowed. "Iida _was_ a true hero. I didn't– He should still be here when so many others shouldn't. I have to keep going." He nodded to himself, his eyes distant and no longer on her. "Yes, I have to keep working at this to create a world in which only true heroes like him exist."

Uraraka reacted without thinking and slapped him in the face, stunning both of them, but she was too upset to be scared. "Don't you dare say you're doing this in his name." Deku gingerly touched his red cheek, but instead of becoming angry or flying off the handle, he only blinked. He was closing in on himself again, hiding behind a wall and blocking all the pain and conflicting thoughts. "This isn't you. I know it's hard to accept that everything you've done is a terrible, horrifying mistake and that reality is frightening, but you won't be alone. Shouto is scared, but I'm not leaving his side either. Please, Deku, stop."

"I can't." Deku slid away from the dresser and backed away from her. "I have to–I have to prove to you that I'm doing the right thing." He tightened his hands into fists at his side. "I have to show you a better world. You'll see it then. You'll understand. That's–that's what he said. You're clever, but you're too accepting and kind." He smiled at her. Wasn't he those things too? She had loved his kindness so much – his compassion and ability to accept and understand people that others might not. "It's okay, Ochako. It's my responsibility. I don't mind taking on that weight."

She stepped forward to grab him again, crying out, "Don't–" when he held up a hand to stop her cold. He wouldn't hurt her – she knew that – but his quirk also allowed him to travel at a speed far beyond her. She should've used her quirk on him earlier, but he seemed so close to breaking free before jumping right back in to convincing himself. Whatever Kyōmu's quirk had done to him, it was an ugly vicious cycle, even worse than how it had taken over Todoroki for one horrific day. He was tricking himself at this point without Kyōmu.

"Tell Shouto I'm sorry," Deku said. "I thought he would be happy. I guess I was wrong. It's not for everyone. Things were always so confusing for him. I shouldn't have presumed to know more." He twisted his lips into a frown. "Maybe I should've done it instead of Shouto. I didn't want to take his right to revenge from him, but it might've been easier on him had I helped him more..."

"What about Bakugou?" Uraraka questioned.

Deku sighed. "Kacchan has to pay, just like Endeavor. You know that."

"He's different now," Uraraka insisted. "He's grown. You two became something great thanks to each other. He wouldn't be the hero he is today without you."

"I'm sorry." Deku dodged her gaze and pressed a hand on the open window sill. "Tell him it's time. No more playing around. I'm done."

"It won't be worth it," Uraraka told him.

"Maybe, maybe not." Deku looked her in the eyes. "But that's my choice to make, isn't it? You can't presume to know what's best for me either. You weren't there and you've admired Kacchan from the start." That sad look was back in his eyes, but the tears were gone. "You always said I inspired you, but it was him first. I didn't see it then, but I do now."

A wave of anger swept over Uraraka. "I told you. It's not him!"

"No, it's you," Deku said softly. "It's always been you."

Before she could say another word, he activated his quirk and vanished through the window in a flash of green light. She swore and ran forward, sticking her head out the window, but he was gone. She'd forgotten how fast he could be when he activated his quirk to full potential. Swearing loudly, Uraraka grabbed the top of the window and slammed it shut hard enough to rattle the glass. How could she have been so fucking stupid? She shouldn't have wasted time talking him down. She should've tried to capture him when she had the chance.

The bedroom door burst open and Tsu jumped into the room. "Ochako, is everything okay?"

"Deku was here."

Tsu startled. "Why didn't you call for me?"

"I don't know." Uraraka slapped a hand against the side of her head. She wanted to scream; she wanted to cry; she didn't know what she wanted to do. "Ugh, I was so stupid! What was I thinking? I couldn't talk him out of this before. He's not like Shouto. He's worse off." She huffed and shook her head at herself. She could be pissed off and still get shit done. "We have to call the others."

Who exactly, Uraraka wasn't sure. Naomasa? All Might? Bakugou? Who in the world was in charge of this mess? The Number One Hero was dead, the Number Four was locked up for his death, and the former Number One had just fully committed to a rampage that she didn't even think he understood or wanted completely. One second he made sense and the next he didn't.

Bakugou was right: Deku was spiraling, but she was terrified of where that spiral would lead them.


	39. Chapter 39

Author's Notes: So hey, this will officially have 44 chapters total. Wild, huh?

* * *

Even though she knew it was pointless, Uraraka had allowed herself to be whisked away to the second safe house. It didn't matter. Deku wouldn't come back. She could've stayed in her apartment and nothing would've happened. He wouldn't bother her there anymore. She didn't know what to think. On one hand, her heart broke every time she pictured him backing away from her and stepping into the window to disappear from her life. On the other, she was resigned to this fate.

It would always come down to this. They had done what they could to avoid it, but every road led here. It was bumpy and with far too many sharp turns, but this was the path they traveled. This could only end in one final confrontation that would either push Deku deeper into the abyss past the point of no return or bring him back into the light. Either way, it wouldn't be the end. They would have to deal with him one way or another, good or bad, and she would.

"I don't see why I had to leave. He's not going to hurt me. He promised he wouldn't."

Uraraka sighed. How many times had she argued this same thing with someone else? "I don't think he would either, but it's better to be safe. With you somewhere far away and safe, we don't have to worry about you as much. Protecting, saving, and fighting at the same time is difficult."

Kota frowned petulantly like any child would. "I know that, but… I feel useless out here."

She understood how Kota felt more than he realized. Despite being in the thick of it, she didn't feel much better than him. What had she done since everything started? She hadn't done a damn thing. In fact, if she was honest with herself, she might've done more harm than good. Maybe she should've relocated out of the city too. Maybe she should've sacrificed herself. That would've taken half of Deku's motivation out of the picture.

Bakugou would scold her fiercely for such thinking and Todoroki would no doubt tell her everything he believed she'd done, but it was hard not to think. She had been with Deku - she'd held him in her arms, ran her fingers through his hair, spoken with him, kissed him - and he'd only fallen further into the quirk's effects. She had made things worse by giving him hope. Taking it away would be brutal for both of them.

"It's normal to feel that way - I've felt it too when the authorities insist I stay hidden for my own good - but this is _not_ your responsibility," Uraraka told him gently. "We're the heroes. It's up to us to take care of this."

"I can do something though!" Kota insisted, stubborn as ever. "I know I can! You saw him at the park. When I used my quirk to stop him from hurting Bakugou, he changed. You saw it. I can help."

Uraraka fought the urge to smile. Such youthful optimism - she remembered feeling that way. Maybe she'd even still felt like that in the beginning of this mess. For as long as she'd known him, Deku had always made her feel like everything was possible. He was a light shining in the dark, an inspiration to everyone around him. Whether it was his classmates, his teachers, or a boy who had lost faith, he was a hero. He could save the world; she could save him. It didn't matter. If he was involved, she could take on anything for him. They would save the day.

However, it was painful to even hope for that now, even for her.

"I know you want to help," Uraraka said, "and it's an admirable trait, but right now, it's best for you to stay out of this. Let us do our jobs."

"But...you saw it…" Kota screwed his face up in an expression so distressed that it looked painful. "You saw him. It was him." He dropped his gaze and his shoulders sagged, sadness clouding over him. "I just thought… If we could remind me of the hero he is - if I could bring him back - I could save him...like he saved me. He didn't just save my life. He changed it. If I could do the same for him..."

Kota was still a child. He was only in middle school, but he already wanted to do so much. That was the effect Deku had on people, even when he didn't try. He was so inspiring. He had always been a bright force to reckon with. Even villains had struggled to combat his tenacious personality. Hell, the villains he worked with now seemed to lean to him. If Mizuki's voice on the phone was anything to go by, the moment Dabi had started to spiral, they had gone directly to him. Ikeda had wanted to take Uraraka out for him.

It was hard not to be taken in by Deku. She certainly hadn't managed to stop herself, not that she'd wanted to except to cut out any distractions. His passion was contagious. All those years he'd kept to himself and was held down, the moment he was given a chance to breathe above the surface, he started his rise to the top. Of course Kota wanted to do the same for him. If not for Deku, he would've undoubtedly been dead. There would have been no one to save him from the same fate that had befallen his parents.

He couldn't just let Deku go. No matter what footage was leaked, no matter what people said he did, no matter what he had seen himself, Kota clung to that tiny bit of light that shined from Deku.

Shame flared in Uraraka's mind. Why was she struggling to do the same? Was it simply because she'd seen more? Did she truly know better? Deku would've held onto that hope until the very end, as he had when he'd risked absolutely everything to take out that villain and then save her. There hadn't been any fear or grief on his face over the fate he knew he was going to suffer. They'd locked eyes and she'd seen the acceptance in them - the relief that he had just enough strength left in him to save her.

She would live with the pain of losing him, but at least she'd be alive. At least she could feel that pain.

It was too much. The pain she experienced now over his survival was crushing her.

"You're right. You did see him, if only for a little, but…" Uraraka took a deep breath. "It's not him, Kota. He's never going to be what you remember. I kept thinking he'd snap out of it and everything would be fine, but it's not like that. He thinks this is who he was meant to be."

Kota slammed a hand on the desk, rattling the laptop he was speaking to her through. "That's not right! Deku isn't a villain! I can show him that. Before anyone, he was my hero first. I can remind him."

"I thought the same thing," Uraraka said, not unkindly. Kota snapped his mouth shut and flinched away. "It's more complicated than that. Opening himself up to the reality of what he's done will likely break him. He might be your hero, but he can never be one again, not truly."

Instead of arguing, Kota fell silent. A hundred miles away, there was little he could do but argue, but he couldn't even do that. If a handful of pro heroes couldn't save Deku, what could he do? It was a hard lesson to take, but Kota was resilient if nothing else. She knew very few people who had lost what he had and managed to rise above it all. He had a lot of people to thank for that, especially his aunt and Deku. The two of them had corresponded a lot over the past few years about everything under the sun, from school to dealing with loss. Each letter and email, even the sad ones, had made Deku smile.

They used to make Uraraka smile too, thinking of what a wonderful father Deku would be one day.

Kota closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Tell me and be honest, even if it hurts me: can you save him?"

"I don't know," Uraraka admitted. Kota opened his eyes and stared at her hollowly. "I can say that we will, but the truth is, I don't know anymore. I don't know if he wants to be saved or if he's scared of what will happen if he does break free. It's like a part of him knows that what he's done is wrong, but if he fully admits it, there will be nothing left of him to save."

"So it's really over for him, isn't it?"

"I think...that's up to him."

There was very little Uraraka could do to help him feel better. She could lie to him, stretch the truth, and fill him with hope, but she was afraid of it being untrue. If things turned out differently, she didn't want Kota to feel betrayed. Was being absolutely honest with him the right thing to do? There had been times when Deku had smiled even when he was afraid - even when he was at his limit and all hope seemed lost. He'd done so much to save the world at a young age. How many times had he nearly fallen before they'd even graduated? How many nightmares had he faced with a smile on his face?

Even the few times he faced Bakugou, Deku smiled. Only when it faltered did she know things were bad. The smile didn't fit the situations, but it was still… It was something that brought him to mind. His smiles were for all the wrong reasons, but when he smiled now, it was like he was reassuring them that things would be fine. As soon as he took care of everything, they would be happy. His smiles had promised that before, and they did so now, but for all the wrong reasons.

"I want to save Deku just as much as you," Uraraka said, "but if we manage to snap him out of the quirk, the first person he'll have to face is himself. He's incredibly strong and brave, but it'll be hard to deal with."

Kota's bottom lip trembled. "Seeing him attack Ground Zero, Ingenium, and Mr. Aizawa at the park was scary. It was like I was frozen. I couldn't move or look away. I've watched lots of footage of Deku's fights, but this was different. He didn't fight with the same heart I always saw before. That's what scared me. He was missing something, like a part of himself."

She knew what he meant. Deku typically fought with everything in him. He didn't always go one hundred percent in case it would cause unnecessary collateral damage or injure civilians, but he poured himself into his fights. That heart Kota mentioned had been missing. He was hurt and angry whenever he confronted Bakugou or talked to Todoroki, but during the actual fighting, it was like he didn't truly feel the conviction he was acting out. He held himself back even when he talked and yelled about how much he wanted to end things, like a part of him didn't want to fight but he had to anyway. Like if he didn't refrain, everything would pour out of him and disaster would strike. He wouldn't be able to control his strength if he let go for even a second.

What would have happened if Kurogiri hadn't snatched Deku away before he could attack Bakugou after he'd struck Iida? There was no way Bakugou would've survived that attack. Deku would have surely killed him out of pain and grief.

And he would have regretted it. Uraraka was sure of it. No matter what Deku said, he was afraid of how he would feel if he succeeded in killing Bakugou. After Todoroki's break from the quirk's hold when he killed Endeavor, he had to be uncertain of what he would do once he finished his personal vendetta. He had to be confused about whether or not this was what he wanted. Bakugou was more to him than just an enemy or a childhood bully. He was a rival, a reason to fight, a reason to be more and rise above.

Kyōmu had taken more than just Deku away from them. He'd taken Bakugou away from Deku.

Kota wiped the tears from his eyes. "I wasn't… I wasn't really that sad when All Might retired. I know everyone was upset, but it wasn't a big deal to me. The only heroes that really mattered were my aunt's group and Deku, but now…" He took a shuddering breath, like he was one step away from crying. "I get it. Losing him the first time hurt. I'd texted him right before you all were called away and he never got the chance to read it." He sniffed. "It wasn't even that big of a deal, but I'd see it in my inbox and get upset. It was like losing my mom and dad all over again. I was so angry and scared."

He sniffed and looked away again. Maybe it embarrassed him to get emotional to the point of crying in front of her, but Deku had done multiple campaigns about teaching boys to accept their emotions and allowing them to open up about how they feel. It was important to him, especially in the context of heroes. Everyone assumed that heroes had to be strong to the point of not showing any emotions sometimes, but Deku was so open with his. Yes, he was confident and he was so brave, but he still cried too. Like the time Uraraka was impaled in the shoulder by a metal rod and he freaked out over her in public after everything was over.

She loved that about him. She really did. She'd been so afraid to show her own emotions until realizing how free he was with his. He gave them to the public for everyone to see while most people tried to hide. He taught people that it was okay to be sad, happy, scared, or excited. He'd done so much for everyone in the short period of time he was a hero. He deserved so much more. The world deserved more of him.

"But I knew what he would say. I knew he wasn't really gone as long as I kept that spirit up." Kota rubbed his nose with the back of his hand and then sat upright. "I was mad because I thought he left us too, just like Mom and Dad, but he did it to save you. I couldn't be mad about that. I had to move on for him. I had to be better, stronger, kinder. I had to live by his example. I wouldn't be perfect - I'm, uh, a lot pettier than him." He rubbed the back of his neck. "But I could try. That's what he'd want."

"It wasn't easy," Uraraka said quietly. She had felt much the same way. Deku wouldn't want her to cling to her grief. Accept it, work through it, feel it - but never drown in it. He would want her to live her life. He wouldn't want her to remain stagnant or give up on her dreams. He would want her to move on.

Except now, the very things she'd known Deku would want her to do were the things Kyōmu had made him believe he couldn't take. He had started to accept that expecting her to cling to his memory when she thought him dead was unrealistic, but that didn't stop him from loving her and wanting to be with her again.

Things would never be the same - he knew that - but they could rebuild their relationship again. That was why he had to get rid of any obstacles and finish this before he could work on them. Once he did what was asked of him - as soon as she saw that he was trying to do good still - she'd love him again. She'd want to be with him. He had to believe that or then what was the point of any of this? What was the point in doing all those things for her, killing villains and protecting her, if she would never love him?

She was beginning to think he didn't even believe in that anymore. He'd sounded and looked so damn lost the night he visited her at her apartment - their home. So tired, so done. Had he gone under the quirk and become even more confused? If Kyōmu was able to use her screaming rejection of him, could he finally turn Deku against her? Could he make an enemy out of her too? If he made it seem like she betrayed him completely, would he even let her get close enough to help him? Would anyone be safe?

"I keep thinking… What if he was still- still-?" Kota's voice trembled, and he swallowed down a sob in his throat. "Would it be better?" He didn't need to say the question entirely for her to know what he was asking, not when she had wondered the same thing. "When I watched that footage of the attack outside of Chargebolt's apartment, I was kind of happy? He was alive. He was in one piece. He was back." A mirthless laugh spilled out of him along with a few tears. "But then it was all wrong. I couldn't figure out what was happening. At first, I thought he'd appeared to help the heroes fight a villain, but then he was- he was the villain. And then I saw him attack everyone and he was going to kill Ground Zero. He was gonna do it and I got so scared but I jumped in - I had to - I couldn't just stand there and watch."

Kota had saved Bakugou's life. There was no denying that. To be honest, Uraraka wasn't sure if anything else would have stopped Deku in that moment. The incredible thing about him was that he had a special bond with so many people, all of them in different ways. Even though she'd been such a strong and important part of his life, there were things not even she could describe. Trapped in the forest with Tsu and fighting Toga, she hadn't seen what Deku had done to protect Kota from Muscular, only the brutal aftermath. What he'd done that night had changed Kota's entire worldview.

Deku hadn't had to do that. In fact, according to society's rules, he shouldn't have done it. Saving his life had, in a way, been illegal, but he'd ran to protect him knowing the consequences. He didn't regret it. There was a chance he could have been severely reprimanded, expelled, even killed, but his first thought had been a boy who didn't even like him. He jumped in to rescue him.

When Kota had used his quirk at the park, it had been to stop Deku from killing Bakugou, yes, but it had also been to rescue him from himself. She couldn't help but wonder if Kota realized the true extent of what he'd done.

It still hadn't been entirely enough, and that was what he latched onto. The failure, the guilt - the types of feelings Deku would have talked him through.

"I feel so ashamed for even thinking it, but I-I keep wondering… Would it have been better if he stayed dead - if he never came back at all?" Kota buried his face in his hands and bent over the desk. "What's wrong with me?"

Miles away, there was little she could do for him. If he had been in the room with her, she would've pulled him into a tight hug. She would've let him cry into her shirt until he was spent and then most likely cried herself after he left. As it stood, he was alone, locked in his bedroom in the home he shared with his aunt and her hero partners. They had assumed the training ground would be too far out of the way for the villains to attack. As of now, all she could do was talk to him over the video chat from their computers.

"Nothing is wrong with you," Uraraka reassured him. "This is a confusing mess. I've wondered the same thing." And it ashamed her too. How many times had she begged for him to be alive? How could she throw those wishes away? "When he showed up in my apartment, I thought I was dreaming. I'd pictured seeing him again so many times, and every time it wasn't real stung a little less than before. But there he was, real as could be, close enough to touch. I was so…" Her lips trembled, but she took a deep breath to calm herself. "I was so happy, if only for a moment, but then I knew something was wrong. If he was alive the whole time, why had he been gone for so long? Where had he been? The Deku I knew wouldn't have just abandoned us. It was like a mock-version of him."

"It must've really hurt," Kota murmured.

"It did," Uraraka confirmed, "almost more than watching him die. Because he really was there with me, but he wasn't at the same time."

Kota clenched his hands into fists again, a determined fire lighting in his dark eyes. "We have to get him back."

"Trust me, we are doing everything we can," Uraraka told him. "No one wants him back with us more than me."

"I know, I know, and I swear if for some reason you can't - if something happens - I'll do it myself."

His words chipped away at her heart. "Kota..."

"We can't give up on him!" Kota set a determined expression on his face, one that reminded her so much of Deku. How many hours of footage of Deku during his hero days had Kota watched, just as Deku had once watched all of All Might's? Of course he would resort to emulating his hero in this dark, terrifying time. "He wouldn't give up on us. He'd give it everything if it was you or Ground Zero or-or-" He couldn't bring himself say Todoroki's or Iida's names, but she heard them clear as day. "He fight even after he had nothing left."

"You're right," Uraraka said softly, unshed tears glistening in her eyes. "He would."

And she loved him for it.

"We have to get him back," Kota said. "Whatever it takes."

"Whatever it takes."

* * *

Not long after Uraraka ended the video chat with Kota, there was a knock at the door. She pulled herself up from the couch to see who was on the other side, her hand raised to use her quirk just in case. Peering through the peephole, she asked, "What's the secret password?"

"You know, even if I was a villain in disguise," Shinsou drawled from hallway, "all I would've had to do was torture the information out of the real Shinsou."

"You'd give out the information that easily?"

Shinsou managed to connect eyes with her even through the peephole and glared deeply. "I didn't say it would be easy. Have you ever been tortured for information? It isn't fun."

No, she hadn't, but Todoroki had, although it had been impossible for him to not give up information due to Kyōmu's invasive quirk. Apparently, Shinsou had experienced it as well. It didn't surprise her. Unlike many of them, he'd taken to working as an underground hero, preferring to stay out of the spotlight as much as possible. Fighting Deku outside of Endeavor's Agency was the most exposure he'd received in a long time. Every time his face and name popped up on the television or online article, he would turn away in irritation. Like Aizawa's, his quirk worked better if people didn't know him.

Rolling his eyes, Shinsou muttered, "Fluffy kitten beans," and Uraraka finally unlocked and opened the door. He swept inside the apartment, and she shut the door behind him, locking it up again. Not that the deadbolts would do much against most heroes, especially Deku, but it was the thought that counted these days. "I could've just used my quirk to get you to open the door."

"Yeah, but you didn't."

"That's the dumbest password I've ever heard."

Uraraka smiled faintly. "I mostly came up with it to watch Bakugou squirm in irritation every time he says it."

Shinsou snorted. "Gotta get your kicks somewhere in this shit time."

He walked around the couch, looking about the place like he might find something out of place to tip him off. He wouldn't. She'd been alone in here for the past few hours. Besides a few pros patrolling the area, she had been left to her own devices. Honestly, she preferred it that way. She hadn't wanted someone hanging around the apartment in uncomfortable silence or listening to her conversation with Kota, even if it was one of her close friends. Everyone was reacting to this differently, but they all changed their behavior around her. They knew she wasn't fragile, but the urge to help her was too strong.

Iida would've known what to do. Or maybe not. He probably would've insisted that she not be alone even if she wanted to be. He'd felt guilty over not doing more for her after Deku's death. Maybe giving her too much space had been the wrong thing to do. Maybe giving it to her now was a mistake. It was hard to say. Shinsou didn't seem like he was excited about being here, but he didn't look bothered either. He was just...here.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Uraraka asked, folding her arms and leaning against the door. "Not that I don't mind seeing you, but it's kind of...random."

"Would you believe me if I said it was because I was worried about you?" Shinsou asked.

Uraraka shrugged. "I mean, I don't doubt that you do, but it's not why you're here. You prefer to care from a distance. It's easier that way."

Shinsou's lips twitched into a grin. "That sounds cold, but you're not wrong."

"Did Bakugou send you?"

"Jackpot." Shinsou pointed a finger at her. "I forgot how clever you are."

It was easy to forget when she was with Deku. He shined so brightly that people couldn't help but remark on his intelligence. Since she wasn't fighting to be number one, she didn't mind being overshadowed by him most of the time, especially since he always brought up all the strengths he admired about her. He was the type of person who could gush about his friends during interviews when other heroes would talk about themselves. All the work he did spoke for itself. He didn't need to promote his name, not when there were other heroes that needed light shined on them.

"I figured as much," Uraraka sighed. She pushed away from the door and returned to collapse on the couch in front of Shinsou. "He's keeping his distance."

"Not a bad idea," Shinsou pointed out idly, "considering Deku's, you know, hellbent on seeking revenge on Bakugou for stealing you from him."

"It doesn't really feel like that anymore," Uraraka mumbled.

Shinsou raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Has he moved on?" She gave a helpless gesture. "Uh, is that a good thing or a bad thing? It sort of seemed like you were tethering him, but if he's given up on you…"

"I don't know." Uraraka dropped back against the couch, willing the soft cushions to swallow her whole. "And I don't know how many more times I can keep saying 'I don't know' before it drives me crazy." She tilted her head back and stared at the ceiling, thinking back on her last conversation with Deku. "For a moment I thought I had him - I thought he finally understood and he was crushed over what happened - and then he jumped right back into the delusion. He's terrified. I'm not used to seeing him afraid. It's...new."

"Even when he was afraid, he showed it in different ways."

"Of course there were times when we were in school that he was scared," Uraraka continued. "He never pretended not to be; he simply worked through the fear." She looked away from the ceiling and pulled her legs onto the couch to hug them against her chest, curled up in a protective ball. "He started questioning himself - what he was doing, what he'd done - and he was scared that everything he'd done was for nothing - that instead of bringing me back to him, he'd pushed me away."

"Well…" Shinsou rubbed the bottom half of his face. "He's right to be scared about that, isn't he?"

Uraraka nodded. "When I was with him and the villains, I tried to placate him - tried to reassure him and show him that I still loved him, but it just made him buy into the illusion more. It was a mistake. I was scared to push, thinking it might anger him, but I should've done it anyway. When I did snap at him or when I was open, there was always this little...break. It scared me, but it was a step in the right direction. He needed to know he was in the wrong. He needs to be scared too."

"Yeah, but getting backed into a corner usually ends up provoking people to lash out," Shinsou said. "I don't know about you, but he's the last person I wanna be around when he does." He shook his head. "He nearly knocked me off my feet by flicking a finger in our first year. What he's capable of doing now is beyond any of us."

"That makes us sound really stupid for trying to fight him."

"We _are_ stupid," Shinsou replied with a mirthless laugh, "but it's not like we've got a choice either." He pocketed his hands and stepped over to look out the window. Situated at the outskirts of the city, there wasn't a lot to see here, but they could see the skyline of the downtown buildings. "It's his own damn fault for being inspiring. No matter what, he never gave up, even when all the odds were against him, even when pros would've stepped back. How's he gonna blame us for doing the same thing? I didn't come all this way to run because I'm scared."

She hadn't either, but sometimes she wondered if she'd made a mistake in not running away at the start. Maybe she should have left. Was she really doing any good by being here? What if she was only putting people in more danger by dangling herself in front of him? No, she couldn't leave him. She would have to live with being selfish in that respect. The public could damn her later if they blamed her for not simply fleeing and causing less conflict.

Uraraka let go of her legs and stretched them out. "So why did Bakugou send you over?"

"He doesn't think you should be alone," Shinsou said without any preamble. "He's probably right, but I figured you'd want to be alone. I know I would."

"We're not exactly alike," Uraraka said dryly.

"Nah, we're not." Shinsou leaned against the wall. "But you've got a lot on your shoulders - a lot of pressure that none of us can really understand. It's alienating, that guilt, but even worse, it's difficult to explain." The only other person that would understand it was Bakugou, but it was even different from him. It was easy to explain why hate twisted Deku, but his love… It was painful. Todoroki might be able to understand that a little better; after all, Deku had thought he was doing him good by letting Kyōmu use his quirk on him. "You think you messed up - that this would be over had you acted differently when you were with him - but the truth is, we all would have done the same damn thing."

"I did what I thought was right." Uraraka leaned forward to prop her elbows on her knees and put her chin in her hands. "It wasn't, of course. I couldn't snap him out of it. Honestly, I don't know if I could've even saved or helped Todoroki if Deku hadn't let me go. If Kyōmu thought my presence was affecting the process of turning him, they would've just separated us again. Even then..."

An uncomfortable look flashed across Shinsou's face before he made his way over and sat down on the couch next to her. He would never be one for physical comfort - even Bakugou and Todoroki were more prone to it than him - but he was honest, like Tsu, which was what she needed. Deku needed it as well. It was why she'd been upfront with Kota. There was no point in sugarcoating anything. They had to be realistic about this. The time for placating anyone was over.

"Mental quirks are...weird," Shinsou said carefully. "When people think of strong quirks, they often think of physical or elemental ones because they're the flashiest - quirks like Deku's, Bakugou's, Todoroki's. They're not gonna look at the hero who can cancel out tons of gravity with a single touch." She rolled her eyes, but didn't argue with him. "Mental quirks are deceptive in their strength. The mind is both strong and incredibly fragile. With just one word in response, I could brainwash the strongest person in the world. Hell, using a speaker, I can even get a crowd of people under control these days."

Uraraka tilted her head sideways to look at him. "I didn't know that."

"Yeah, it's not something I advertise." Shinsou blew out a breath of air. "The point is, it doesn't matter how strong a person is, my quirk would still brainwash them as long as they triggered it. Deku is the only person who's broken out of my quirk on his own, but even he's susceptible for a brief period of time." He ran his fingers through his hair and leaned back. "Whatever this Kyōmu guy's quirk is exactly, it deals with something that's difficult for us to comprehend. We can fight against a fist or flame, but against our own minds'? That's hell. The fact that he's able to navigate someone's head like that honestly freaks me out. That's a kind of strength I don't want to mess with."

"You sure?" Uraraka asked blandly. "You could brainwash him into throwing himself off a building."

"If I see him, I'll make sure to tell him to do that." Shinsou leaned back into the couch cushions. "After seeing the number he did on Todoroki, he deserves that and more. Man, his head is still really fucked up. He's out of the quirk's effects mostly, but this memories he had planted aren't gonna just go away. They're lingering like some sort of infestation."

Uraraka turned to him fully. "You saw him?"

"Yeah, the powers that be thought it might be a good idea if I talked with him because of my quirk, but realistically, I couldn't do shit." Shinsou folded his hands behind his head and closed his eyes, looking all to the world like he was ready to fall asleep. The dark circles under his eyes certainly suggested he was close to passing out. However, she noticed the tension in his body. He was too riled up to sleep. "It's a mental quirk like mine and Mandalay's, but it's on a completely different level. I can brainwash people into doing things they don't want to do, but his straight up changes a person to do things they wouldn't normally do before. It's not like I could brainwash him into forgetting what Kyōmu did to him. I can't erase the quirk's effects."

No, that would be too easy, and nothing about this situation was easy. They had to do everything the hard way. Uraraka drummed her fingers against her cheek. "Like you said, mental quirks are weird. They're hard for people to understand."

"Mmhm, and there are quite a few who are still iffy about mine." Shinsou snorted. "Getting a response out of some people is a lot like pulling a tooth. Bakugou still hesitates to talk to me."

"What about Todoroki?"

"Our normally reticent hero was reluctant as usual," Shinsou confirmed, "but also resigned to his fate." His eyes fluttered open, but he kept them on the ceiling. "It was hard seeing him like that. Todoroki's always been confident to the point where it's like nothing is a big deal. He'll take care of it. But now… That spark is gone. He's a shell of what he used to be. It's not right. The fucking quirk drained him dry."

It was the kind of thing that would require therapy in order to move past, but considering the person who had started this entire mess, she couldn't see Todoroki being up for it. He hadn't gone to therapy after Deku's death, even though she'd suggested it. She doubted he'd ever gone despite what he'd gone through during his childhood. He was vulnerable and open and he needed to talk with someone. If he needed it to be her, she would do it, but she wasn't sure how much she could help him.

She wasn't positive she would've been able to help him at all. The more she thought about it, the more unsure she became about her role in snapping him out of the quirk's strong hold. Had it been her to tip him over the edge or had it simply been the natural progression after his father's death didn't line up with what the quirk told him?

"I keep thinking about it," Shinsou said distantly. "About the quirk - about how easy it could've been me in his place. I could've done those things. Given the wrong push, further rejection by society, the continued insistence that I had a villain's quirk - I could have used my abilities to twist good people into doing evil things."

Uraraka sat upright and laid a hand on his arm. "Yeah, but you didn't. You rose above it."

"He didn't either," Shinsou replied. "He was a therapist, for fuck's sake. He had a doctorate, his own practice. What kind of man like that becomes a villain mastermind?"

"I wouldn't call him a mastermind," Uraraka said.

Shinsou waved a hand vaguely. "He's caused a lot of damage and fucked up a lot of lives. And if we don't stop him, things are going to get a lot worse. The shit he convinced Todoroki to do in one attack…" He rubbed his eyes and then pinched the bridge of his nose. "If he's able to finally convince Midoriya to go full throttle, we're fucked. If he thinks he's lost you for good, I don't know if there will be a point to getting him back. I don't want to get to that point. I don't want to be forced into a position where we only have one option. It's not him. I don't give a shit what that bastard told you: it's not him."

"Try telling Deku that," Uraraka huffed. "Kyōmu didn't get rid of his stubbornness."

"Damnit, I hate this," Shinsou groaned, hiding his face in his hands. "I can't-" He pulled his hands away and jumped to his feet. "I can't deal with this right now. Talking with Todoroki - thinking about what he went through, what was going on in his head, what that villain did to him and Midoriya - got into my head. I can't think about this right now or I'm gonna lose it." He turned to face her. "Are you hungry?"

"Not really."

"Thirsty? I need a drink. I need this-" Shinsou took a breath. "I need this out of my mind."

Uraraka almost laughed. "I'm right there with you."

She hadn't had a drink since the night before Deku reappeared in her life. There wasn't time to drink and she couldn't afford to cloud her mind. However, right now, all she wanted was for her mind to be clouded. She'd probably get too emotional and sob if she drank, but if she could forget for just a minute that Iida was gone, Deku was determined to destroy everything he loved, Todoroki was broken, Bakugou was on a hit list, and she… She had so much riding on this. Her entire world was in the palm of that villain's hand, and she genuinely didn't know what she was supposed to do.

If she was lost, then how was she supposed to bring Deku back home?

* * *

After a quick trip to the nearest shop, Shinsou returned to the safehouse apartment with a pack of beer and the promise to not tell Bakugou. Neither of them were sure how well he would take the idea of drinking under these circumstances, but both of them had decided to only have one each. Well, she was only going to have one. Shinsou had grown even more aggravated during the trip the more he thought about what Todoroki had been put through. She thought the comparison of quirks was bothering him in particular, but decided against bringing it up. After all the work he'd done to ensure people didn't relate mental quirks to villains, one had proved him wrong.

It was a slap in the face, and Shinsou was not the type of person to turn the other cheek. He took things to heart.

They were watching a boring reality show in an attempt to distract themselves and avoid the news when the burner phone Uraraka had been given rang. Her own cell sat at home unused in case the villains had someone capable of tracking it. There was a high possibility Deku had known her location that way, but she couldn't be for sure since neither she nor Todoroki were aware of any villains with that kind of technical knowledge. Only a few people had this number, but she still checked it just in case. She wouldn't put it past Deku to find this out too, but she didn't think he'd call her until this was over.

"It's Naomasa," Uraraka explained. Shinsou raised his eyebrows and set the beer down decisively. Their little moment away was over. Time was up. She answered the call and lifted the phone to her ear. "Yes?"

"I would ask you if you're busy, but…"

Uraraka smiled grimly. "Trashy television does keep me occupied."

"Are you by yourself?"

"No," Uraraka answered carefully, turning to watch Shinsou clean up the area. "Shinsou is with me."

At the mention of his name, Shinsou stopped in the middle of the room, the empty beer bottles clinking in his hand. He glanced back at her curiously, and she shrugged her shoulders.

"Did he drive?" Naomasa asked.

An odd question, but one she didn't know, so she asked him. "Did you drive?"

Shinsou furrowed his brow. "Yeah, I didn't feel like walking miles to the nearest train station from the holding facility. Why?"

Uraraka turned back to the phone. "Yes, he did."

"I need you to meet me where Todoroki is being held."

"Ah, Shinsou just came from there." The connection clicked in her mind, and her heart shot up into her throat. She grasped the phone tightly. "Is Shouto-?"

"He's fine," Naomasa reassured her quickly. "Actually, it's not about him. It's about our...other guest."

"Ikeda." Uraraka's heart dropped back into the pit of her stomach, and she stood up. "I didn't know she was being held in the same place."

Naomasa sighed. "I wish she wasn't, but it makes it more convenient for interrogation, especially when there's a need to corroborate what she says with Todoroki."

"Has she given anything useful?"

"So far, mostly nonsense, pointless information, and lies as far as we can confirm. She's not the most helpful villain in the world." Naomasa sounded incredibly frustrated and even more tired somehow. How thin had he stretched himself? She worried about Bakugou, but there were so many people working this behind the scenes that few considered. Heroes took center stage, but there were also police officers, medical professionals, and so many more involved. "She said she'll talk to you though."

Uraraka froze. "Me?"

"I'm not sure how much good it will do, if I'm being honest," Naomasa told her. "I think she's just trying to buy time, play at mind games, but if there's a chance…"

"I'll do it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm positive." Uraraka slipped on her shoes while waving a hand at Shinsou. He took the hint, throwing the bottles away and putting his shoes back on. "If there's any chance it can help, I'll talk to her, even if it's a waste of time. She can think she's messing with me, but I don't care. I'll do whatever it takes. Tell her I'm on my way. I want her ready."

From the threshold of the kitchen, Shinsou eyed her warily. "Someone's in a mood."

"I'm done," Uraraka said, jamming her phone into her pocket. "I'm done playing these games."

"You were playing before?" Shinsou shook his head and snatched his keys from the table. "I'm sure Naomasa already alerted the people watching this place that you're leaving. No sense in wasting time."

"I can go there myself. You don't have to take me."

Shinsou snorted as he unlocked the front door. "And risk facing Bakugou's wrath? No thanks. He's annoying as it is. I don't need him breathing down my neck and blowing a gasket because I let you go on your own." He turned back to catch the look of consternation on her face and shrugged. "I get it - your wrath is much worse - but I don't feel like arguing when Deku is out there."

She wasn't a damsel in distress, but Shinsou wasn't wrong. She had to accept the level of danger she was in and the target on her back, even if Deku swore not to hurt her. Ignoring it was both stupid and selfish. Bakugou damn well knew she could take care of herself, but that wasn't the point. He wasn't the only one feeling more on edge after Deku broke into her apartment the other night.

Bakugou could've been there. Had they not realized what they were doing - had she asked him to stay with her that night - what would've happened? What would Deku have done? How would he have reacted? She couldn't help but feel like she'd betrayed him on some level, but that was stupid. She didn't belong to him, especially now that they had come to terms with each other. She loved Deku, but not like this. She wasn't betraying him or their relationship because this wasn't it.

They spent the drive to the facility in terse silence, but there was nothing either one of them could say. As Shinsou drove and tapped his fingers along the steering wheel, Uraraka texted Bakugou to let him know she'd left the safehouse in order to speak with Ikeda. Maybe she could see Todoroki while she was there. So far, he had continued to avoid seeing his family. While he was certain the quirk would no longer affect him around them, he was still ashamed. She hadn't seen him since the day they figured out Kyōmu's identity, left to fend on scraps of updates from Naomasa. It wasn't nearly enough.

Bakugou responded quickly: _Is it just you and Shinsou?_

 **Yeah, we thought keeping a low profile would be better.**

 _Take care of his dumbass._

Uraraka almost smiled and texted back, **I will.**

 _If you see Todoroki, tell him he better be done rolling over belly up._

Of course. People would always believe Bakugou was selfish and focused only on himself, but she knew the truth. He thought about others far more than most people realized. Maybe he didn't come off as considerate or caring, but now that he was older, he knew the importance in considering others before him. He hadn't just been thinking about her when they'd been taken. He hadn't lost sight of Todoroki, just as he'd never forgotten Deku. He cared plenty. It didn't matter to him if anyone else believed it or not.

As they pulled up in front of the facility, Uraraka unbuckled her seatbelt and said, "You can drop me off. I can probably get a ride back from Naomasa or another detective here."

Shinsou frowned. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, you've already been here once today, and it clearly upset you," Uraraka said. He eyed her and looked away. It had done more than upset him. She could hear the gears turning in his head as he drove. Whatever he and Todoroki had talked about in regards to Kyōmu's quirk, it had unsettled him. "There's no sense in making you wait here while I deal with this. Go home. Get some rest."

"Oh, you know me," Shinsou replied dismissively. "I'm the pinnacle of getting proper rest."

Uraraka ducked out of the car. Naomasa met her outside so she would have an easier time getting in. Right before she stepped inside, she turned around to wave at Shinsou. He returned the gesture and then drove off. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that Shinsou was not going to rest. He was almost worse than Bakugou, who Kirishima apparently had to guilt trip into sleeping. When he finally did lay down, he passed out for over ten hours. Who knew if Todoroki was getting any sleep? Who knew if Deku was resting? He'd looked so tired in her bedroom.

Why were all the men in her life so damn stubborn?

"Thanks for coming," Naomasa said as they walked down the hallway. "Short of breaking the law, we've thrown everything we can at her." He went to fix his tie and then stopped when he realized it was gone. She'd never seen him look so undone and rumpled before. Had he slept in the past few days? "She's surprisingly deceptive. Either she refuses to talk and pretends to be asleep no matter what we do or she won't stop talking about nonsense. Most of the information she's given has either been false or absolutely useless."

"None of it has been helpful?"

"Not unless you count her utter disgust over Dabi preferring cold soba. It's a family thing apparently." Naomasa shook his head. "You wouldn't think it when looking at her, but she's more resilient than we gave her credit for."

Uraraka could believe it. When she first met Ikeda, she didn't think much of her. She'd been put on guard duty outside of Todoroki's cell and reading some trashy magazine. The few interactions she had with Ikeda didn't give the impression that she was fit for the villain lifestyle. She was either bored or nervous, downright scared of Deku, and irritable with Dabi like she hadn't got enough sleep. Fighting hadn't appealed to her, not even at Endeavor's agency where she avoided it as much as possible.

Granted, Uraraka hadn't anticipated her pulling out a gun either. The murderous intent radiating from Ikeda had been surprising. She hadn't seemed like the type. Uraraka got the feeling that there was a lot about her that most people looked over because of the languid way she carried herself, a bit like Aizawa when he hid away in his sleeping bag. Then again, someone with a mental quirk had to learn to survive if they were going to make it as a hero or a villain.

"Did she say why she wanted to talk with me?" Uraraka asked.

"I'm assuming it's to either stall, play more games, or a combination of both," Naomasa told her outright. Other people, even Bakugou, might've been insulted at the blunt response, but Uraraka knew it wasn't a reflection of her abilities or what he thought of her. It wasn't that he thought Uraraka couldn't get information out of Ikeda; he simply believed that Ikeda had no intentions of giving any. "We even offered a deal for information - a genuine deal that I didn't like but couldn't fight - but she didn't bite."

"That's strange. She doesn't seem like the loyal type."

"I think it's resignation more than loyalty," Naomasa said, stopping in front of a door. She tried not to let her eyes wander away. If she did, her mind would drift to Todoroki, and she couldn't let herself get distracted. "From what I could gather using my quirk, this League doesn't seem like they're tied together through some common bond or sense of loyalty."

"Are you coming in with me?" She hadn't done many interrogations during her time as a hero. More often than not, she left that job to the police, although she'd sat in on a handful and watched more. Her boss liked her employees to be well-rounded in the knowledge of police work. If she wanted to rise in the ranks, she needed to do the same.

"No, I think it'll be better if you do this alone." Naomasa gestured to the door to the left. "I'll be on the other side watching. If you need anything, I can step in."

"Got it." Uraraka tied up her hair and put a determined look on her face. "Let's do this."

Naomasa unlocked the door, allowing her to step inside. The room looked the same as the one Todoroki had been kept in, down to the way Ikeda was chained to the metal table. Unlike Todoroki's time held captive by the villains, she had obviously been allowed to shower, although the jumpsuit she wore did little for her. She looked painfully normal, her hair down and tucked behind her ear, her skin washed clean of anything that might mask her. The only difference was her eyes.

Despite being heavy-lidded, Ikeda's gaze sharpened the second it landed on Uraraka, and she bared her teeth in a smile. "Hello, hello, Uravity, this is a familiar position, isn't it?" She awkwardly gestured to the empty chair across from her, the chains limiting her movement. "Heroes like to play pretend at being polite, of course. Instead of cells, we have these comfy interrogation rooms." She scrunched up her face in distaste. "I have to admit; I've stayed in worse motels, but I wouldn't give this place a five-star rating."

"I didn't know you were so chatty," Uraraka said as she sat down.

Ikeda shrugged and sank back in the chair. "I've got a lot of time on my hands to sleep. I haven't been this well-rested in a while. It's kind of nice."

"What do you want?"

"No chit chat? No girl talk?" Ikeda flounced and stuck out her lip in a little pout. "It's so dull here. I can't even dream. Can't you indulge me for just a little?"

"Sorry, I think you trying to kill me and my captivity ran me dry of sympathy."

Ikeda huffed. "That's on you, not me. If you'd just stayed out of the way like Midoriya wanted, I wouldn't have been forced to defend myself. I'm not a fighter, but you threatened me." Really? She was going to claim self-defense. This woman really was good at coming up with nonsense. "Besides, you asked him to take you, so again, it's not my fault you were held captive. I even saved your life, remember?"

"You're also the one who put me in the position to get killed," Uraraka pointed out. Ikeda made a helpless gesture. She didn't seem to think much of it. "I'm surprised Deku didn't punish you for that. I also remember how terrified you were."

"He _did_ ," Ikeda scoffed. "Why do you think I was at the attack on Endeavor's agency? That's not my style, but he insisted I be a part of the attack squad." She sighed dramatically. "I think he just wanted me to get caught in the crossfire and die." She tilted her head and settled a measured look on Uraraka. "Your boy is very cold. All that time spent away from you, I'm afraid. Kyomu really did a number on him. Not even my quirk could help him through the beginning."

Uraraka leaned forward. "He's a monster. Not only did he force Deku and Shouto to betray everything they stood for, but he did so as well. He was supposed to help people, but he used his abilities to hurt them - twist them."

"Oh, you mean how he used to be a therapist?"

A hollow feeling swept over Uraraka. "What? You...knew?"

Ikeda smiled sharply. "Did you think he tricked us all? I'm a villain, Uraraka, not some hopeless girl that got caught up with a bad crowd." She shrugged, the chains rattling, and sunk further in her seat, closing her eyes and sighing like she was thinking of a good dream. No, this was definitely a nightmare. "Takumi was a good doctor. It was a shame what happened to him. He was nice, you know? I mean, a hard ass and he didn't take shit from his patients, but he was good at his job."

This whole time, Ikeda was sitting on information they'd painstakingly gathered. While they sorted through Todoroki's broken memories and old documents, she had given them nothing but drivel. As soon as she knew that they had his name, she flipped the switch. Ikeda wasn't anything like Uraraka had imagined. She'd seemed almost kind, but no, she was just as bad.

"How do you know about this?" Uraraka asked.

"I was one of his patients!" Ikeda laughed. "Of course, he didn't use his quirk as he does now. It really is a thing of beauty." She leaned forward as much as her chains could allow her. "It's how he knew about my quirk. I struggled with controlling it - always giving myself nightmares when I slept, couldn't tell if they were just dreams or memories. They can be so realistic." She tilted her head down enough to tap it. "He was able to get in there, help me sort it out. What a kind man."

"Then how-?"

"You know what happened to his practice, right?"

Uraraka nodded. "It was destroyed during a villain attack."

"That's a lovely official story, isn't it?" Ikeda teased. "There was a villain attack, yes, but the hero fighting him destroyed it in the process. Even used the rubble to deal more blows. Such a heroic figure. He took out the villain, but at the cost of a few buildings. Some heroes just don't consider the cost of winning." She wasn't wrong, but they were taught to be aware of it. In the beginning, Bakugou had been willing to destroy a building in order to win, but he'd learned his lesson. "It wasn't just his practice that was destroyed. It was his life - his home in the apartments above, everything he owned, his family."

Uraraka's blood ran cold. "His family?"

"Beautiful wife, two precocious kids, poof!" Ikeda wiggled her fingers. "All gone, like they were nothing. They didn't find the youngest one for almost a week while cleaning the rubble." She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I bet they're having the same problem at Endeavor's agency. Just how many people did Shouto kill?" She grinned. "Besides his father, I mean. Geez, I knew he was strong, but filled with that much hate? Now that's cold. No wonder Takumi got in his head so easily."

"Losing his family isn't an excuse for putting other people through the same thing as him. IN fact, it makes it even worse. He knows what they're going through."

"Doesn't matter." Ikeda didn't seem to care either. She looked bored already, her eyes drifting to the mirror that hid Naomasa and then the door. "Once some people lose that tether, there's nothing to hold them back." Like Deku would if he truly believed he'd lost her. Like Todoroki had when he thought he'd been abandoned by his family and she'd given him permission to let go and stop struggling against his pain. "As I said, he was a good doctor, but damn if he doesn't play a good villain. He doesn't even have to get his hands dirty. He got your precious Deku and Shouto to do the work for him - and you and your new beau helped him."

Gritting her teeth, Uraraka forced herself to push through the rage building inside of her. She couldn't let herself get distracted, even if she wanted to jump forward and slam Ikeda's face in the table all over again. "If you know him so well, then you must have an idea of what he's planning to do."

"Sure I do. I've been with him since the beginning and knew who he really was." Ikeda slumped in the chair and groaned. "But I'm tired. All this talking is exhausting. I need another nap." She jerked upright, slamming her palms on the table. "You hear that, Detective? I'm done here! I'm ready for that cot!"

Uraraka jumped to her feet and leaned forward before Naomasa could cut the interview short. "Just tell me!"

"And what? You'll go easy on me?" Ikeda threw her head back to laugh without abandon. "I was involved in the kidnapping and torture of the Number One Hero, the kidnapping and torture of the Number Four Hero, and then the attack and murder on the replacement Number One Hero. I'll be lucky if I get out of here before Shouto. There is no going easy on me, no matter what deal is waved in my face."

It was hard not to flinch at the mention of Shouto's punishment. No one wanted to talk about it, but the chance he would get completely out of serving any time behind bars was almost impossible. Maybe they could get him off using some sort of insanity defense - if they could properly and fully describe the quirk's effect on him - but the fact was that he had killed more people in his single attack on Endeavor's agency than many villains combined.

Ikeda let out a breath and relaxed in the seat. "I'll tell you what: since you indulged me by coming here, I'll indulge you. It's Wednesday, right?" Uraraka nodded. "Well, you're in luck: Takumi does have an appointed scheduled for today, so you'll be seeing your beloved very soon."

"Where?" Uraraka demanded.

"Well, in my experience, in order to help a person, you have to deal with the root of the problem," Ikeda drawled pleasantly, like she was talking to an old friend. She held up one hand palm up. "On one hand, Deku has to face his childhood bully and the trauma he inflicted along with trying to steal away the love of his life. But there's also the world that allowed said bastard to rise to the top when he should've been punished his atrocious behavior?"

"The hero system," Uraraka said. "I know it's not perfect."

"No, it's not," Ikeda agreed, "or heroes with innocent civilians marked as collateral damage on their records or abusive fathers wouldn't be around to wear capes." She held up her other palm and smiled. "But what creates them? What takes that pathetic idealism of a child and turns them into a government bully in tights?"

The realization struck Uraraka like a bolt of lightning. She spun on her heels and called out, "Naomasa!" but he was already banging on the mirror. She rounded on Ikeda again, but the woman didn't even flinch. "When?"

"Well, it was around lunch when I asked to speak with you, so…" Ikeda drummed her fingers on the table. "Hero class started a little while ago, didn't it?"

Uraraka ran out of the interrogation room, Ikeda's laughter chasing after her and her phone in her hand, but she knew in her heart they were too late.


	40. Chapter 40

Notes: So I'm actually writing the last chapter now, and shit hurts. I can't believe I'm almost done with this fic.

* * *

"You're still blaming yourself, but you can't do that. It'll only serve as a distraction."

"Speaking from experience?"

"Of course."

Bakugou didn't look back at All Might, choosing to stare out the window instead. It was hard to look at his former teacher for multiple reasons, but the main one definitely had to be the mutual pain. He'd struggled to deal with the reveal of All Might's true form during his fight with All for One, but watching him suffer through what Deku had been turned into was somehow worse. It broke him down. Bakugou couldn't handle seeing the hero who had inspired him shatter into pieces.

He could be as strong as he wanted in front of everyone, but this was killing him worse than the injury that had claimed his ability to be a full-time hero.

Leaning forward with his elbows on his thighs, Bakugou rubbed his face. "How the hell are we supposed to fight this? How are we supposed to fight him?"

"It's a matter of will," All Might said. "Our will is stronger than his because it's not truly his own."

"That's good and all," Bakugou muttered, "but you know what is his own? His power. I'm not worried about what he wants to accomplish. I'm thinking about how he's going to do it."

All that power in his entire body - there was no one in the world that could compete with it. Bakugou knew he was one of the strongest heroes in Japan, but Deku's power was unlike anything else. He had more power in one of his fucked up hands than many people combined. Bakugou dropped his hands and stared down at his palms, the skin littered with scars and calluses. He hadn't had soft hands since before his quirk manifested, but maybe he should've been softer in the beginning. It wasn't him and never would be, but maybe…

Bakugou clenched his hands into fists. "We're fucked. How the hell are we supposed to take down the guy who ended All for One? That guy survived even you in the end, and Deku defeated him. That bastard took out countless heroes and almost destroyed the country. The only reason we're still standing in because of Deku, and he wasn't even a proper hero yet. He… He..."

It wasn't something any of them thought about often. Deku never talked about it. To be frank, he could've made the immediate jump to pro hero, but he'd refused. He wanted to walk the same path as anyone else. In his mind, while he had a quirk that was special, he wasn't anything special alone. He wanted to prove himself in the eyes of the public that he wasn't just that moment. It was stupid. He hadn't just ended All for One's reign. He hadn't just defeated the enemy that had haunted One for All.

Deku had changed the world.

If it had been Bakugou in his place, he would've taken everything offered to him. He would have stepped up to become a pro instead of slumming it as a sidekick. He wasn't sure he wouldn't have let all that praise and awe get the better of his ego, which was another embarrassing thing to admit. Deku's confidence had shaken Bakugou in the beginning, but it was his lack of arrogance that truly tripped him up. How could he not be? He'd done something that All Might himself couldn't even do - that no one could do but him.

How in the hell were they supposed to fight him?

"It's true that we can't fight him head-on," All Might admitted. "We'll have to find another way."

"Gee, why didn't I think of that? I'll just pull another idea out of my ass and get to work." Bakugou pulled himself upright and then stood up, barely refraining from kicking the chair he'd been sitting in. He made the mistake of making eye contact with All Might and averted his gaze quickly. It wasn't fast enough. He saw the look on his face, and he hated it - protective, worried. The kind of look he gave him back in school. "I'm not doing that."

All Might sighed. "I know you don't want to hear it, but taking yourself out of the equation might help."

"I'm not doing that! I'm not running away and hiding. I can't!" Bakugou paced the room in a circle, stomping loud enough to rattle the table. All Might didn't complain or point out that there could be someone in the room under them. His silence only made him more uncomfortable. It was so understanding that it made him sick. "You think Deku would run away if the situation was reversed?"

"No, he wouldn't."

"I'm not an idiot - I know it would probably be for the best - but I can't…" Bakugou stopped pacing and took a deep breath. "I can't abandon him like that." He hung his head. "Like it or not, we've always been tied together, ever since we were kids. I used to hate that shit, even more so when we were at UA. It was like I couldn't shake him, but… Where would I be without him? When he was gone…"

Bakugou wasn't good at grieving. He wasn't good at showing his emotions period, but he'd learned along the way in time. He'd gotten better about it. All of Deku's crying used to piss him off, only to find out the ugly truth that he was prone to tears as well. It was disgusting, but sometimes that rage would blow up into something else and the only way he could get it out of his system was grief. How much had he cried after Deku's death? Spent hours in a gym pummeling a punching bag until he was out of energy and tears?

"It was almost impossible to move on," All Might continued for him. He turned to look out the same window that Bakugou had been resolutely staring out before. "Nearly my entire life was built around One for All. It was such a timeless thing, so I never expected it to come to such an abrupt end. I should've told him to make preparations for in case something happened, but with All for One gone, I didn't think he would… I didn't expect him to die."

"No one did," Bakugou said bitterly. "He was the strongest hero the world had ever known."

"What you all went through that night - I can't imagine the shock and grief you experienced." All Might shook his head. "It's hard to think that any villain or organization after All for One could be powerful enough to take him out, but it wasn't about power. It never has been, and Izuku knew that."

Of course Deku knew that: he'd grown up in a society that pushed him aside and mocked him for his quirklessness - in a world where he was considered weak simply because of how he'd been born. He wasn't weak though, no matter how much Bakugou had tried to ingrain it in him to ensure Deku was always below him. Bakugou had used his quirk as a means to be considered strong - his quirk meant he had power - but it was all wrong. At the end of the day, when that sludge villain attacked him, his power was shit. The heroes trying to save him were shit and were even forced to stop helping him in an attempt to buy time until someone stronger came.

Eventually, someone stronger did arrive - All Might appeared to save the day - but it was only because pathetic, weak, quirkless, powerless Deku stepped in first. Without his intervention, Bakugou likely would've been dead. Ironic considering there was a high possibility that he would be dead soon enough thanks to Deku.

"The villain… This man that took Izuku and warped him into this awful mockery of him - he's nothing. In the long run, most people would see him as incredibly weak - and he is - but we should know by now that quirks aren't just about strength or power or flashiness - that people are more than that." All Might pushed himself to his feet, his old bones rattling under his thin skin, and stepped closer to the glass. Sometime after midday, the sun was high in the sky, shining down on them brutally even through the window. Bakugou peered at his reflection out of the corners of his eyes. "No one could've imagined that a small, mental quirk like that could be used for such evil. It's unimaginable that a man who based his life on helping people overcome their trauma turned into a villain who used their trauma against them. He puts their pain on display for everyone to see."

Deku's pain being Bakugou's and society's treatment of his quirkless status, the ugly underbelly of the hero world, the repeated abuse his body had gone through in order to live up to All Might's expectations, the loss of Uraraka and his old life… It was a lot to take in. Bakugou wasn't sure if Deku completely understood everything bearing down on him - some of what Uraraka said he talked about didn't make sense - but it likely wouldn't matter anymore. He was done. He was ready for this to be over with.

Bakugou could understand that. He was ready too. It was time to truly face the actions of his consequences. Was it fair to put all the blame on his shoulders? No, it wasn't, but he wouldn't argue with Deku over that. It didn't matter. He had done what he'd done and he would die trying to save Deku or he wouldn't. If it was his death that spurned Deku to return to them… Bakugou sighed. He had to accept that reality too. A hero had to face the truth that they might die in the line of duty.

Deku had and now it was his turn.

Taking a deep breath, Bakugou started, "Do you think if I-?" when a loud explosion rattled the building.

All Might put a hand on the glass to steady himself while Bakugou stood his ground. The explosion had been close but not at the building they were in. An alarm rang shrilly, like the day Shigaraki had destroyed the front gate and reporters had flooded onto the grounds. Doors opening and shouting could be heard from the hallway as other people in the building began to react, but none of that seemed to matter to All Might who simply stared out the window in shock.

"What the fuck?" Bakugou's eyes locked onto a pillar of smoke rising in the air like a signal. He gritted his teeth and let out a low growl. It was a signal. Maybe it wasn't meant for him specifically, but he took it that way anyway.

That smoke proclaimed, _I am here!_

"He's here?" Bakugou growled. "They fucking came to UA?"

"I didn't think…" All Might's hand on the glass clenched into a fist. "There are children here. I didn't think he would come. I hoped..."

"That bastard! He should know better. We were attacked by villains as students too. He should _know_. What the hell did that guy put in his head?"

Fuck. What the hell were they doing here? Not even Bakugou had thought Deku would stoop so low as to attack innocent kids. If they attending UA, most of the hero course students would be able to take care of themselves and hold their own - they had their first month at school - but that didn't make it okay. The Deku he knew would have thrown himself into the fire before attacking a kid. How the hell had that asshole villain manage to convince him this was the right move?

Bakugou's eyes flickered from the smoke to All Might. Maybe it wasn't the school itself he was after, but what it represented.

For as long as Bakugou could remember, he had wanted to attend UA. He would attend it. When Deku shakily admitted to wanting to apply as well, he'd been infuriated. How could a quirkless stupid little shit possibly think he could be on the same level as him? There wasn't even any competition. Did Deku really believe he was as good as him? Did he think so lowly of him? UA had represented the future. Getting accepted would mean he would become a pro hero - he would be the best. It spurned him forward. He didn't care who he was leaving behind in the dust. He was going the distance. His quirk was stronger than anyone else's and he'd prove it there.

That was the start of so much for them. UA was the goal, the dream, the path. It was the start of their lives as heroes. It was the beginning of everything.

The moment Bakugou ran to the door, All Might finally ripped his gaze away and turned on his heels. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Bakugou demanded, his hand on the half-open door. "I'm ending this."

An alarmed expression crossed All Might's face. "You can't be serious. You're not ready-"

"I know I'm not ready!" Bakugou exploded. He didn't have his hero costume on him, none of his support gear, not even all of his confidence. He was running on fumes and uncontrollable emotions. It was like Deku gave them enough time to recover physically, but not enough to deal with things emotionally. He was on edge, pissed, and stressed the hell out. His mind kept leaping to his and Uraraka's kiss and all the longing he'd poured into it, all the grief and pain, and how it wasn't right.

 _Damnit, Deku, it wasn't fair. I didn't want it to be like that with her. I wanted it to be okay. I wanted her to be happy._

Everything was spiraling out of control, and if he could grasp this moment and take a moment to breathe for just one second, he'd be grateful. He couldn't though, not when he felt like he was running out of time. The clock was up. This was it. He was completely unprepared, but he couldn't hesitate for a second. This was his bed, and he was going to fucking lie in it even if it was the last thing he did. He would do whatever it took to bring Deku back to their side. Whatever it fucking took.

Bakugou tightened his grip on the edge of the door, his knuckles turning white. "I know I'm not ready. I know… I know this could be it." He took a deep breath. "But you're right. Deku's stronger than me, but it's not about power. It's about conviction. His heart ain't in this shit. He's still in there, that caring asshole that drove me mad."

Deku had genuinely believed that he was helping Todoroki by allowing Kyomu to use his quirk on him. He'd thought he was protecting Uraraka. He'd taken out villains to protect her and make her area a safer place. All that awful shit, and he'd done them with the purest of intentions. He'd done some evil, but he wasn't evil. Bakugou would never believe that. That caring side was his true strength. He had sacrificed himself to save Uraraka. If anything, the least Bakugou could do was return the favor.

After all, at the end of the day, it was always going to be them.

"I have to do this," Bakugou said. "I have to end this."

All Might started for the door. "I'm coming with you-"

"No! You can't fight, so you'll only get in the way."

"Izuku is _my_ responsibility," All Might proclaimed. "I passed on One for All to him. I swore to teach him, protect him, and it is my duty to do that even now." Weak as his body was, Bakugou still saw him as the hero he had admired so much as a child. It would never fade from him, not entirely. "Maybe, if I can get through to him somehow…"

"He could kill you," Bakugou pointed out.

All Might didn't even blink. "I know. That's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."

Weren't they all? Bakugou didn't want to admit to being scared. He'd never done it before and he wouldn't start now. Still, when the anger and pain on Deku's face after he struck Iida flashed in his mind, he almost hesitated. Running wasn't an option - it had never been one - but there was a tiny, insecure part of him that didn't want to do this. He couldn't beat Deku. That wasn't how this would end, not when it had started that way. This wasn't about winning or losing.

It was about saving someone. That was what Deku would do.

Shoving the door open, Bakugou stepped out into a hallway. The alarm pierced his ears, lights flashing in warning. Another thunderous boom shook the building, and the ceiling lights flickered. With the classrooms in another building and school being in session, the hallways here were nearly empty save for a few staff members scrambling to figure out what to do. Not every employee at UA was a licensed hero, but there was protocol to be followed in case of an attack.

No one thought about such things like that anymore. It had been a very peaceful few years.

During Bakugou's time at UA, there had been three attacks on the school if they counted that first one where the door was disintegrated, but there hadn't been one since his graduation. UA had bulked up its security, changed up things where cracks had been made, and installed a better defense system. It would never be flawless, but villains would think a few times before trying to break in here.

Granted, shit like that didn't mean much to someone with One for All.

As Bakugou ran for the stairwell, his phone rang in his pocket. He pulled it out as he shoved the door open with his shoulder and bolted down the stairs, barking, "You better get your ass here!"

"I am, I am!" Kirishima shouted on the other end. "We just got the call. Shit, is this really happening?"

"You hear the alarms? It's happening. I don't even have my fucking suit."

"Shit. I can't believe Midoriya…" Kirishima's voice was shaky. He must've been running too as the heroes at his agency mobilized. Bakugou wasn't going to say it, but he thought they were too far away. By the time they arrived, this whole place could be leveled. After less than a week of having One for All, Deku had been able to destroy a building with one punch. He'd seen what Deku was capable of years later after honing it into his own power, but even then, he'd always had to hold back a little.

He'd continued to hold back. Time and time again, when he shouldn't have - when he should've used everything he had to destroy him - he held back. Afraid. Unsure. Resistant. Maybe it was more of a subconscious act, but after what he'd told Uraraka in her apartment, he was aware of it now. He wanted this over, and so he'd brought the fight right back to where everything truly began for them.

Bakugou rounded the stairs for the third floor. "Just get-" An explosion blew him back into the wall, knocking his phone out of his hand and knocked the wind out of his lungs. He caught himself with the railing to keep from falling to his knees. Coughing and waving a hand in front of his face, he lifted himself upright and wasn't surprised to find a hole in the wall. What did startle him was Cementoss thrown into the wall on the second floor of the stairwell.

"Hey!" Bakugou shouted at the top stairs.

"Go!" Cementoss replied back shakily. Shit. At least he was conscious, even if he was struggling to move after being thrown through the wall. Gritting his teeth, Bakugou jumped out of the freshly made exit and used his quirk to land safely on the ground. Kirishima was probably freaking out about the call being interrupted by an explosion, but there was nothing to be done.

The worst of the fighting hadn't reached them yet, but it was scattered through the massive campus. The heroes could've held any villains at the front, but judging by the line cut through the ground as if a meteor had struck, Deku had broken through it. Once allowed inside, Kurogiri was able to transport other villains throughout the campus to spread out the fights. Heroes were left to scramble to reach them in time, on top of trying to evacuate students without provisional hero licenses and non-hero personnel. Smoke was everywhere, along with the telltale signs of blue fire mixing with orange and red flames, and the grounds half-destroyed.

It was a fucking disaster.

Using an explosion to launch himself in the air, he collided with a bug-winged villain attacking a pair of students and snatched him by his ugly ass face. A stinger came up from behind to attack him, but he used another explosion to send them crashing into the ground. The impact was powerful enough to cause a crater in the grass and rendered the villain unconscious.

Bakugou stood up over him and pointed at the shocked students. "What class are you in?"

"Gen Studies, 2-E," the girl replied unthinkingly. Shit, he'd hoped they were Heroics students so they would be familiar with combat, but the majority of students didn't use their quirks often. She stared at him like she'd never seen a hero before, her friend grabbing onto her tight enough to hurt. Maybe she recognized him as Ground Zero, but it would've been easier with his suit on. If she didn't, she probably just thought he was a civilian.

"Get as far away from here as you can," Bakugou ordered as he stepped over the bug villain. "If you find any other students, take them with you. Getting separated will only make this more dangerous. Do not engage in combat unless it is to defend yourself! Do you understand?" The kids nodded. "Go!"

Back in the day when put in this same situation, he hadn't understood why he wasn't allowed to outright fight the villains that attacked them. However, he was old enough now to realize that fighting an opponent and defending one's self were two different things. Quirks should be allowed to be used freely, but letting everyone fight would only cause mayhem. Plus, it drew attention to them. If the students stayed under the radar, the villains would focus more on the heroes fighting.

Bakugou had been like a signal to every villain. So filled with determination to prove himself and anger over being perceived as weak and needing protection, he'd practically invited any villain to attack him. He spent years with that itch to fight buried deep in his skin.

Ironic that the last thing he wanted to do now was fight for the first time in his life.

Once the students ran, Bakugou shot toward the thickest part of the fighting. Once he caught sight of Aizawa, he dropped in beside him, kicking a villain away that had tried to attack his old teacher from behind.

Aizawa jerked around. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I was talking with All Might," Bakugou said. "This must be my lucky day."

"You shouldn't be here-"

"Where is he?" Bakugou wasn't going to hide. Neither was Deku. If Uraraka was aware of what was going on, he had no doubt she was on her way too. This was it.

Aizawa huffed. "You're only going to make this worse-"

" _Where is he_?" Bakugou demanded again. They didn't have time for this bullshit. He didn't care if Aizawa thought this was another grudge match between him and Deku. It had never really been about that in the end, had it? This was between them, however. He didn't want anymore people to get caught in the crossfire.

Pressing his lips together, Aizawa jerked a head to his left. "Last I saw him was near the main campus building. I've been trying to make my way there, but we didn't anticipate this many villains."

"Kyomu's got a talent in recruiting." Bakugou's eyes locked on the building, and he grit his teeth. "That's where most of the students are."

Would Deku really attack them? It went against everything in him. He hadn't attacked Kota. He'd given time for civilians to be evacuated. Besides Endeavor's agency, he'd chosen the least populated area en route from Uraraka's place to UA to attack Todoroki for the first time. It was one thing to put him against Bakugou, All Might, and hero society, but it shouldn't have been possible to twist him so much that he'd attack kids. How far gone was he?

They ran in that direction. With Aizawa erasing quirks, Bakugou was able to easily take out villains so that they didn't have to stop. He would've been able to without Aizawa's help, but damn if it wasn't convenient and quick. Now they just had to get one over Deku. After cutting a path to the main building, Bakugou dropped down and switched into stealth mode. It wasn't his forte, but it was right up Aizawa's alley.

However, right when Bakugou pointed at a hole in the building where Aizawa could get the perfect vantage point and still hide, green lightning flashed in the corners of his eyes. He jerked back in an attempt to get out of the way, but he wasn't fast enough, still getting clipped in the shoulder and being thrown back. He let off two minor explosions to correct his course and keep from crashing into a pole, but it was a close call. Aizawa's reflections were perhaps faster, but he was still struck and knocked into a wall. He only avoided a direct hit likely due to Bakugou being the target. The lightning and blurred figure darted up a wall until it stopped where he'd been trying to point.

Smug, little bastard knew that too.

"Hey, Kacchan, you up for a little high school reunion?" Deku called out, holding out his hands. "UA sure brings back memories, doesn't it? I'm sure you got a kick out of beating the shit out of me, but I guess I got the last laugh." He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Didn't you say you were always going to be stronger than me?" A grin crossed his face, his green eyes lighting up dangerously. "Why don't we replay some memories from our last year when I kicked your ass in everything?"

Explosions rattled in Bakugou's hand in preparation. "You damn nerd!" Damnit, Deku was still cheesy as hell. That mental headcase villain apparently couldn't change that about him. "What are you doing here?"

"Just figured I'd come back to where it all began," Deku said, shrugging casually. "I should've known you'd already be here. You must be so worried about All Might."

"Yeah, and he's worried about you too!" Bakugou shot back. "I don't know what for when you're clearly busy being a damn idiot!"

"He isn't worried about me," Deku snapped coldly, any amusement on his face dying. "He's just worried about his precious power!"

"Of course he fucking is! You were the Number One Hero! You were _his_ hero!"

Deku shook his head, but it looked more like he was trying to get rid of something than say no. He closed his eyes and put a hand to the side of his shaking head until finally he snapped out of it. He opened his eyes and threw his hand down as his quirk's power surged around it. Bakugou narrowed his eyes. It looked like Kyomu wasn't the only one in Deku's head. Hadn't All Might said something about the vestiges of One for All helping him out when Shinsou brainwashed him all those years ago?

"He doesn't-" Deku clenched his fist. "It was just a facade!"

"Bullshit!"

"Shut up!" Deku slammed a fist into the wall of the building, sending a crack through the concrete and shattering glass. It wasn't a blow at his strongest, but it still made people below panic. "You weren't the one breaking your body every damn week for his approval!"

"That's stupid, and you know it!" Bakugou hunched over and threw his hands behind him. "You wanna keep talking or you wanna end this now?"

For once, Deku didn't respond. He simply raised the bottom half of his mask over his face and glared at him over the metal contraption, the same rage and pain Bakugou felt burning in his bright eyes. They weren't dead-looking any longer. Good. Bakugou was tired of talking.

* * *

Uraraka had to fight every urge in her body to shove the officer aside and take over driving. He was going as fast as he could, but it wasn't fast enough for her. The agency she worked at was en route to UA, so she had a sidekick bring out her hero costume when they swung by. She'd also called Shinsou to alert him and meet her there. He pulled up not a minute later, and she all but shoved him into the passenger seat while she clambered in the back so she could change.

She'd never hated her costume more in her life. It wasn't that it was skintight or clunky. Her mind kept drifting back to Deku's comments about hero society and how broken it was. Shefelt like she was just another cog in the system even if Deku considered her a true hero. Was she? What made her any different from the others? She'd become a hero to make money - because she liked making people smile. It wasn't some powerful, unexplainable, altruistic reason had motivated her.

She was a part of that broken society too. Deku had worked hard during his time as a hero to fix it, going so far as to try to end the ranking system that had unknowingly ruined life. People had been very resistant to the idea as it was ingrained in both hero culture and society as a whole, but it was out-of-date and led to people becoming heroes for the wrong reasons.

All Deku wanted to do was fix that - except now that meant pruning the system of heroes like Endeavor and Bakugou. It harkened back to something they'd not talked about in years but she knew would always rest in the back of his mind. Stain. Simply thinking about him made Uraraka shudder. He'd looked at things differently after that night, but she hadn't found out why until many years later when he told her the truth about what happened.

In reality, heroes had failed so many people and not because they couldn't save them. They could be just as dangerous too. What had happened to Takumi and his family to turn him into Kyomu wasn't an excuse for what he had done, but it was something they'd overlooked. Heroes were trained to consider collateral damage, but it wasn't like it was on the forefront of their minds during a villain attack. Most heroes considered attacking first and defending second.

Even Endeavor had been known for causing collateral damage in the process of fighting villains. It was one of the main complaints from his critics. That wasn't even taking his hidden treatment of his family into consideration, which had been fueled by the hero ranking system and his own jealousy and greed. In his tortured mental state, Todoroki had used that to his advantage. It had been his focus outside of destroying Endeavor completely.

Shinsou stiffened in his seat. "Holy shit. Is that...from UA?"

Uraraka leaned forward in the middle to see through the front windshield. "What-?" The blood drained from her face. "Oh my god."

Thick, dark smoke rose above the city skyline. It reminded her of when she and Bakugou arrived at Endeavor's agency, but it was worse. An explosion of blue flames burst high enough to be seen over the buildings, followed by a thunderous boom strong enough to rattle all the vehicles in the street. The officer barely managed to keep their car on course, but it helped that he didn't have to worry about traffic. They were the only vehicle heading toward the destruction.

What had Deku done?

Multiple reports blared over the radio, but it only gave them a glimpse of what was going on. Even taking Deku's unparalleled strength into consideration, she didn't think they had the gall or manpower to launch a full scale attack on UA. Attacking Endeavor's agency had been a gamble, but with Todoroki on their side, it had been worth it. He could start off with a devastating blow that distracted heroes while the other villains attacked.

UA was different. The security systems would mean very little to someone with Deku's power. He'd broken into a maximum security prison with one hit. There weren't as many pro heroes, but there were also around a hundred students throughout the three years that were close to the equivalent of a sidekick. They would need more than a handful of villains to destroy the very thing which Deku believed fostered an unhealthy and poisonous her ideology.

She couldn't picture the few villains she'd seen being capable of that even if they had attacked a hero agency. According to the reports on the radio, there was a hell of a lot more villains than any of the first responders had anticipated. It was like the USJ attack all over again. They could take care of it. They could handle this. How many villains had Aizawa taken down on his own before that Nomu had nearly killed him?

But the students… The children… Potential collateral damage like that would be a terrible distraction, one that would likely cost lives. The heroes would do everything they could to protect them. How could Deku agree to doing something like this? There were lives and futures and dreams at stake. Was he so angry and hurt that he would take it out on kids who had once been like him?

"There's no way I'll be able to get close," the officer said as she turned right onto the street that led directly to UA. "I can drop-"

"Watch out!" Shinsou shouted.

A line cracked down the street toward them, asphalt and concrete breaking apart as if an earthquake had struck. The officer swerved to avoid it, but it was impossible to avoid. Uraraka slammed her palms on the car door and activated her quirk. Combined with the car's momentum, the action launched them ahead in the air. Shinsou and Uraraka slammed into side, but they were high enough to avoid the damaged street, which could've killed them had it hit them. It continued to shatter underneath them as the car rolled upside down when Uraraka spotted a figure at the end of the street. She recognized him despite the distance. One of the villains that had attacked outside of Kaminari's apartment.

"How attached to this car are you?" Uraraka asked the officer.

"Um, I've got full coverage insurance…"

Uraraka turned to Shinsou. "Slingshot?"

He considered her suggestion. Luckily, neither one of them were unused to being upside down thanks to their quirks or support gear. "I'd need to have my gravity again in order to have any pull."

"Okay, get you and Officer Ango to the ground. I'll take care of the rest."

Kicking his door open, Shinsou attached the end of his scarf to a light post and used it pull him and the officer out of the car and closer to a part of the ground that hadn't been destroyed. Uraraka pressed the tips of her fingers together and deactivated her quirk. It was only for a second, but the car lurched as it fell to the earth. She took away its gravity again only a second later. She clambered out of the car as if it was underwater and then kicked it in Shinsou's direction.

Now fully on the ground and with his gravity returned, Shinsou wrapped his capture scarf around one of the open car doors. Using his body's weight, he jerked on it as hard as he could and threw the car like a rock in a slingshot. When he released his scarf's hold on the car, Uraraka returned its weight and landed onto the roof of a building. The villain threw himself to the side to dodge the car when it crashed and rolled down the street. Shinsou used the distraction of the car to his advantage, using the scarf to jerk himself forward and slam a foot into the villain's chest.

When the villain slapped the sidewalk to use his quirk, Shinsou said, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Oh yeah-?"

Uraraka dropped down next to him and looked down at the vacant expression on the villain's face. He hadn't even known what had hit him before Shinsou's quirk brainwashed him. "They really can't help themselves, can they?"

"Everyone's gotta have the last word," Shinsou sighed.

After handcuffing him behind the back, they passed the dazed villain off to the officer, who was also in something of a daze staring at the ruins of her car. It hadn't exploded like cars did in the movies, but it was utterly destroyed. The villain's presence told them one thing. They were trying to keep as many heroes from joining the fray, a wall of sorts to keep others from invading and causing problems. Getting in on foot would be better - or rather the air. Neither of them needed their feet on the ground in order to get somewhere.

"You ready?" Uraraka asked.

"Hell no," Shinsou replied even as he pulled up the mask of his voice regulator.

Using a combination of their quirks, they made their way to the school, landing on top of a building just outside the gate to assess the situation. It was like the agency all over again, except much more familiar, a hit much closer to home.

Memories of her time at UA overlapped with the destruction she saw now. An outcrop of trees where she had sometimes done her homework on nice days was on fire. Her first dorm building looked close to toppling. Fire, debris, and more littered the ground. The front gate was gone, a massive cut in the ground reaching all the way to the main campus as if a meteor had struck. Deku must have used his quirk to cut a path through the heroes and security features.

Even worse, the reports on the radio had been right. There were a lot more villains than expected, multiple battles having broken out between them, heroes, and even students. Uraraka recognized a few villains on the grounds: Dabi, who seemed sluggish but even more chaotic with his flames, Compress, who was up against Midnight and a group of students, Kurogiri, and even Mizumi whose quirk wasn't fit for combat.

Where had all the others come from? Had more villains started to crawl out of the woodwork once Deku's turn came to light? It made sense. They would be bolstered by his seeming support of their cause to take down hero society. He had made a good face for the heroes, but a fallen hero turned villain was even better. He wasn't a villain so much as leading a rebellion.

It was worse than she could've ever imagined.

"Do you see Deku?" Uraraka asked as she tried to pick out the telltale signs of his or Bakugou's quirk. Both were flashy enough to be seen through the madness.

Shinsou pointed to the main campus building. "Pretty sure I saw him there." He jumped upright. "Shit! It's him, and he-"

A whirlwind of an explosion shook the buildings, but it was Deku cutting through it to slam into the ground created a shockwave powerful enough to be felt even where they stood above them. It took nearly everyone out, blowing his own comrades back along with anyone around him. Uraraka's heart jumped, demanding to go to him, and she wasted no time in leaping off the building with Shinsou calling after her. The blow to the ground had loosened the dorm building even more, debris crashing to the ground. No one should've been in it at this time, but the threat of a collapse still terrified her.

Throwing out a hand, Uraraka caught the end of the capture rope and activated her quirk. There wasn't anything close enough for Shinsou to use to get onto the campus grounds quickly. She used a quick boost from the rockets in her boots to shoot them over the perimeter and land in a spot not overcrowded by fighting. Easier said than done when it looked like a free-for-all melee. There was little she could do to save the building except warn everyone nearby. It was even more weight than the top of the agency building she'd used her quirk on, and she didn't want to wear herself out completely right off the bat.

"I'll get as many people away from this area as possible," Uraraka told Shinsou.

Shinsou furrowed his brow. "What about Deku?"

Uraraka shook her head. "No, seeing me will only reinforce what he thinks he has to do." As much as it pained her to stay away, she was almost positive her presence would only make Deku believe he had to finally get rid of Bakugou more. She had to trust her friends to take care of him. "You need to find Deku and Bakugou. Maybe he'll be distracted enough for you to trick him."

"Got it." Shinsou darted into the fray and vanished from sight, leaving Uraraka to get to work.

Maybe students were surprised to see Uravity on the scene, but there wasn't time to think about it when she alerted them to the unstable building behind them. More heroes had appeared on the scene after the attack, so no one questioned her presence. If anyone looked at her strangely, they ran the moment they saw the building wobbling. Even villains hesitated.

She ran up behind a villain with some sort of slime-producing quirk while he attacked a student, but her hand slid right off his arm when she went to grab him. She grimaced in disgust and ducked when he threw his arm back to strike him, kicking his legs out from underneath him. Before he could get up, she slapped him in the chest, grabbed him by the front of his shirt as she stood up, and threw him into another villain rushing to attack. She heaved a breath. There were so many.

Was Deku's turn against hero society truly that inspiring to them?

"Oh, hey, Uravity, just the hero I wanted to see!"

Uraraka turned around to the sound of the voice, stumbling back away from a wall of blue flames that cut her off from everyone else. They weren't close enough to actually hurt her, but an uncomfortable heat washed over her. The flames faded from his hands, smoke seeping out from between the staples of his wrists. She clenched her hands into fists, prepared to fight, but then he held up and waved his hands, and she hesitated.

"You're looking a little rough around the edges," Uraraka said, taking note of the new wounds on his body. Instead of more burns, however, they were cuts that hadn't fully healed yet. Considering his propensity to scar, she had a feeling they never would if he made it out of this alive. Judging by the way he was swaying and his feet were shifting, like he was drunk, she wasn't sure if he would. Still, his eyes were still sharp despite his rather sluggish behavior, and Uraraka narrowed hers.

A tired grin pulled at Dabi's lips. "You saying I don't look good?" No, he really didn't, and that wasn't counting the scars. Despite the flames surrounding them, the unscarred parts of his skin were pale and covered in cuts. "Ah, yeah, Hawks did a real number on me. Pretty rude of him, if you ask me. All I was doing was trying to protect my little brother."

At the mention of Todoroki, Uraraka bristled, fury flashing through her. "I don't have time for this." She bent down and touched a large branch that had been ripped from a tree during an earlier skirmish.

"Shouto-" Dabi awkwardly stepped forward but halted himself when Uraraka jerked her eyes back to him, his hands twitching in the air. He could still produce flames. She didn't care what he said. He was still a threat. "Shouto, is he-?"

"His life is ruined," Uraraka snapped. "Even if he could be a hero after what happened - after what he did - he wouldn't take the opportunity." She didn't want to think that Todoroki was broken forever. After everything that happened to him, he'd still had a fighting spirit that burned to protect others. He was so passionate and strong. That side of him couldn't be gone. It _couldn't_. "The amount of guilt and stress that he's under - he thinks he should be locked up for good. He's devastated."

A strained grimace flickered across Dabi's face, one that she might've described as abashed if she wasn't too furious with him. "I figured that was the case. I was kinda hoping he clammed up - that maybe I could take the blame - but that's not him. He's not a liar. Dumb kid with all that honor bullshit crammed in his head. He's too good."

"Don't act like you give a shit about him." Uraraka tightened her grip on the barely floating branch. "All you cared about was ruining Endeavor - and that included his 'masterpiece', didn't it?"

Dabi stared at her, a flat dark look in his bright blue eyes, and admitted, "Maybe. Probably." The admission was like a punch to the gut, one that she was grateful Todoroki wasn't around to hear, but it also strangely eased some of the tension in her body. She hadn't expected Dabi to be upfront. "It's hard to say. I knew the quirk was making his pain worse. I wasn't as far gone as Midoriya to believe it was for the best, just that it'd be easier to accept if he gave in. It felt kind of good seeing him like that - seeing him as weak as me."

Disgust filled Uraraka to her core. Todoroki truly had been alone. She stood up, lifting the branch with her, but instead of backing away or lashing out at her, Dabi dropped his hands.

"I shouldn't have let him do that. I should've done it myself. I had a bad feeling - a wrong thought - but I didn't listen to it when he said he would do it himself. I was- I _am_ the oldest. It was my responsibility." Dabi didn't look away from her as he spoke, not like Shouto had. Maybe he did feel guilty, but he'd accepted that his hate had turned him into an awful person a long time ago. "It wasn't what I wanted. I thought it was, but it wasn't- It wasn't like anything I'd imagined. All those years _dreaming_ of that moment and there was _nothing_."

"You know what Kyomu did," Uraraka said, "to Shouto, to you, to Deku. You know it's wrong."

"Yeah," Dabi breathed. "Yeah, I know."

Uraraka almost dropped the branch. "Then what are you still doing here? Your entire family is worried about you! Your mother-"

"I know!" Dabi shouted, flames bursting to life around his hands again. She tensed up in preparation, but he didn't attack her. "Shouto's avoiding them too, isn't he?" When she didn't answer, he nodded. As different as they were, there were still similarities too that she couldn't ignore. "I can't fix it. I can't change what happened to Shouto. But you know this has to end, one way or another. Kyomu put Midoriya on a rampage that isn't gonna stop for anything."

"I don't believe that." She refused.

"I tried to warn him. I really did." Dabi shook his head. "I knew he wasn't gonna listen to me, not fully, but I tried. That bastard dug deep in his head." He took a deep breath. "Once Midoriya ends this, I have to make sure his grudge doesn't spread to Shouto. I wasn't there for him, not even back then - I'll admit that - and Midoriya will probably kill me in the end, but- Kyomu has already hinted at his betrayal." He took a step back, swaying like he might fall over. The flames had started to die down around them. "I'm not a hero, not like Shouto. I'm a villain. I'm okay with that."

"And your family?" She thought of Rei pleading for Touya to be brought home alive, Natsuo's storming out of the room and vibrating with grief to the point of anger, Fuyumi's quiet tears. She thought of the pain Todoroki felt at knowing that some of the good memories he had of his oldest brother were fake. How could he forget about them?

Dabi held out his hands. "This is where I belong. I'm not that person anymore. It was always gonna end like this." He pulled one hand back, the flames growing stronger around it, and she stepped back. Was he actually going to attack her? "Thanks - for taking care of him. I mean it. He's had a lot of people fail him."

"Then stop-"

"I'm not the one you should be trying to convince," Dabi cut in. "I'm done for."

He released his flames without warning, forcing her to dodge to the side. A pained cry echoed in the air behind her, and she cried out, "No!" as she scrambled to her feet to help his victim. However, when she looked back, terrified of what she'd see, it wasn't a student or hero on the ground. She froze, gawking at the scene. It was another villain.

"Just like old times." Dabi waved the flames from his hand and sneered irritably. "Fucking idiot. That's why I had to block them off. The last thing we need is Midoriya going into berserk mode because you're injured or worse. No one would make it out alive if that happened." He gestured to the main campus where she thought she caught a glimpse of green light. Deku was so fast; she couldn't be sure if it was him or not. Bakugou's explosions blossomed over the trees. "If you wanna try to save him, maybe throw yourself off a building. Jump in front of him like Ingenium. That'll be a shock to the system. Or you can just let him end things and see if he snaps out of it like Shouto."

Uraraka released branch and her quirk on it. "That's not an option."

"Your loss." Dabi shrugged. "You sure you wanna get in the middle of that?"

"I don't have a choice," Uraraka told him. "I'm a hero."

Dabi laughed coldly. "Yeah, yeah, so was Midoriya." He took a few more steps back, his jacket whipping in the wind, and swept one hand so that fire flowed from his fingertips and separated them. She could easily jump them with her quirk, but she didn't go after him, choosing to watch him wave a hand. "Good luck. Tell my brother… Ah, well, it doesn't really matter."

He vanished into the smoke and fire. A part of her wanted to chase after him for Todoroki's sake, but he was right. He wasn't the one she needed to convince to come back to their side. Hopefully, Todoroki wouldn't be upset that she didn't try harder with his brother, although it hadn't felt like he was fully committed anymore either.

Turning on her heels, Uraraka tore in the direction of the main campus building where Dabi had pointed, her heart thundering in her chest. A loud _boom_ forced her to halt, only for her to nearly scream in horror when she saw two people crash into the dorm building. Smoke and debris exploded from the building, crashing to the ground, as the violent crack of concrete breaking blared like a warning. It was too much for it to take. The building startled to topple over, but there was nothing anyone could do but run. Not even she could carry that much weight.

"Everyone, get out of the way!" Uraraka screamed.

There was no way everyone would make it out in time. Students, heroes, villains - far too many of them would be crushed. She couldn't save them.

* * *

Locked in a room that was just above his cell with the villains, Todoroki didn't have much of an idea about what was going on outside the holding facility. There wasn't a window to look outside either, but at least he had a room instead of a cage. The mattress was softer, the food better and more regular, the lighting was better, and he wasn't being mentally tortured twice a day, so it was perhaps around the same comfort level as living at home after his mother's institutionalization.

Before being captured ( _Touya saved you, but is he really Touya?_ ), Todoroki hadn't minded being alone for most hours of the day. He had spent most of his childhood either locked in solitude, pretending to have a normal life with his mother, or training with his father. After his mother was taken away, he spent even more time alone. UA had been a shock to the system, one he'd steadfastly ignored up until the Sports Festival when he was forced to face the fact that he wasn't alone anymore.

He had truly thought he could become a hero without help from anybody, but in the end, he had even been forced to admit that he could even stand to learn from the Number Two Hero.

If anything, he would know what not to do in order to be better than him. His first step was to accept the help of others. It hadn't been easy. Right when others believed he had learned to be a team player, he immediately jumped back into working alone. It was second nature to him. He was incredibly strong. Other people, especially anyone weaker than him, would only hold him back.

It was such a foolish line of thinking. All that strength hadn't been able to help him for shit once Kyomu sunk his claws into him and Uraraka was gone. Alone at the villain's mercy, Todoroki had been nothing but helpless. In fact, his tendency to close in on himself and keep his emotions under wraps had only made things even worse for him and easier for Kyomu to twist everything up.

His mind became his own worst enemy - and it was a terrible, horrible place to be.

This room left him with only his mind to deal with. Perhaps luckily, he was constantly being pulled out for "talks" - a pleasant word for what he knew were interrogations. Psychiatrists and therapists had interviewed him along with Naomasa, a few heroes, and other people involved in the judicial system. Aizawa and All Might had managed a visit as well. He had a lawyer, although he wasn't sure what to do with her. He missed Uraraka, Yaoyorozu, Kaminari, and even Bakugou. He missed his family, but he couldn't handle seeing them. Even Shinsou's visit had pulled him out of his fog if only for a moment.

He was exhausted, but anything was better than being by himself. His mind wasn't the mixed up mess it had been after his father's death, but it still made him leery. Because he'd not spent as much time under Kyomu's hold, the memories he'd planted or changed hadn't been as fixed in his mind. He still wasn't quite sure how the quirk worked exactly, but he could sense it fading away until it was almost nothing and his mind was his own again.

Losing memories of Touya hurt all over again. He'd liked them because he hadn't had many to begin with and they'd been good. Some stayed. Touya's constant exhaustion and injuries, peeking through a crack in the bathroom door to watch him bandage his burns up. Touya ruffling his hair during lunch since it was only the two of them during the day sometimes while Fuyumi and Natsuo went to school. The relief and fear on his face when Half Hot/Half Cold manifested.

Touya bending him and grabbing him by the shoulders, practically begging, _"Don't let him change you. Don't let him turn you into him. You're better than me. You're stronger."_

At five, Todoroki hadn't understood what his oldest brother meant by those words, and, in time, he forgot them. Kyomu had brought the memory back to the surface. When it didn't fade away like some of the others, he almost cried. It was real. It wasn't exactly a good memory, but it was important. He was glad to have it back even if it hurt like hell.

A lot of shit hurt like hell in here, which was why he immediately picked up on the mood change when Ikeda was dragged back to her room. Even if he hadn't been able to peer through the small window in his door into the hallway, he would've known she was being returned because of her echoing laughter. It wasn't the tired laugh he remembered from the villains' hideout but gleeful and cold at the same time. He watched as she was all but tossed back into her room and flopped on her bed happily before the door was slammed shut and locked.

Her laughter still faintly resounding in the air through the door, Todoroki almost didn't catch the sound of someone walking to his door. He barely had time to step back when he heard the keycode being punched in to unlock his door. It slid open, revealing a disheveled Naomasa, a disgruntled higher-ranked officer, and a steely-faced Hawks. He'd forgotten how cold the Number Two ( _One - you killed your father, remember?_ ) Hero could be when called for it.

"What's going on?" Todoroki demanded. "What's happening out there?"

Naomasa and Hawks glanced at each other before the former stepped forward. "Midoriya, along with an unexpectedly large group of villains, have attacked UA."

Todoroki paled, his entire body going tense. " _What_?"

How could he…? Why would he do that? He knew what it was like to be a student at the center of a chaotic villain attack. Granted, any kid that applied to UA for the heroics course ought to know what they were getting into. They should've been prepared for a villain attack. Maybe not at school since that hadn't happened in years, but it wasn't entirely unheard of after what they'd gone through.

Was he trying to kill All Might? Make a statement by destroying an establishment that created heroes - that had turned him into one? So much of their lives had been shaped by UA, even before they had attended it. Todoroki had known he was going there since his quirk had manifested, and it had been Midoriya's dream as far as he could remember, even when it shouldn't have been possible.

It was hard to say what the institution meant to him now, but if he'd willingly attacked it, perhaps in a bid to draw Bakugou out and finally end things, it couldn't be good.

Todoroki stared at them. "You need me."

Hawks sighed. "The truth is that Midoriya's strength is overwhelming. If what All Might said about his quirk is true, it'll take everything we've got to bring him down."

And, if there was one thing Todoroki proved, it was that he was a powerhouse of destruction. He wasn't as strong as Midoriya - neither was Bakugou, as much as it had pained him near the end of their time at UA - but combined with some of the other strongest heroes, maybe they could take him out. It was still a gamble. Midoriya had taken out the villain who had destroyed and killed all of his predecessors except for All Might. There was no one in the world like him.

Maybe fighting wasn't the answer. Maybe there was another way. If anyone knew what Midoriya had gone through with Kyomu - what that villain had made him believe he'd gone through with Bakugou - it was Todoroki. If he couldn't beat him, maybe he could reach him. It was worth a shot.

"I know you don't trust me - I wouldn't either - but it's not like we have a choice," Todoroki said. "I can do this. I know I can do this."

They had obviously considered their options before coming down to speak with him, but he still felt the need to plead his case. He could do this. He had to do this. He owed it to Midoriya, Uraraka, Bakugou. He owed it to his family, Touya, his father. If he could do this one thing, maybe he would be able to face them again. Maybe he could face himself.

"If you show any signs of turning again…" Hawks warned.

"Kill me." Todoroki straightened even as Naomasa raised his eyebrows in surprise. Maybe he hadn't expected such an upfront response, but Hawks didn't even blink. "Put a pair of remote-controlled quirk inhibitor braces on me that you can turn on at the slightest chance or just kill me. Let me help. I want to… I want to protect people again. I want to save them, just one last time. Please."

 _Just let me be a hero again, the one Midoriya believed in, so I can do the same for him._

And then they could lock him up and throw away the key. He could be at peace then. All Todoroki wanted was for this nightmare to truly end. He'd give his life if it meant bringing Midoriya back. He would do whatever it took.


End file.
